Unfuck Your Coparenting

Why does it feel like your ex follows the custody agreement only when it benefits them?Because when a parenting plan is vague, high-conflict people turn every gray area into an opportunity for control.In this Coaching Couch episode, I break down the “Gray Area Trap” — what happens when your custody agreement uses vague language like “reasonable notice,” “reasonable phone contact,” “be flexible,” or “parents will cooperate.” Those phrases sound fine if you are dealing with a reasonable person. But if you are dealing with a high-conflict or narcissistic ex, they become loopholes.We cover:Why vague parenting plans create constant conflict“Death by logistics” and the small issues that become big control tacticsWhether your ex can control what you do during your parenting timeWhat to do when your ex’s new partner starts showing up to everythingYour rights around school events, doctor appointments, and parent-teacher conferencesRight of first refusal problemsWhen late bedtimes and bad parenting decisions are worth addressingHow to document patterns without looking “difficult” in courtIf you have ever found yourself wondering, “Am I overreacting?” this episode is for you.Follow Unfuck Your Co-Parenting wherever you listen to podcasts, and make sure to follow on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @unfuckyourcoparenting.Need help with your parenting plan or parallel parenting strategy?Visit unfuckyourcoparenting.com or email [email protected].

Most co-parenting advice assumes both parents care about the same things. But if you are dealing with a narcissistic or high-conflict co-parent, that is not what is happening.In this episode of The Breakdown, I explain why you are stuck, why nothing seems to work, and the six mistakes that are keeping you trapped in the cycle.We cover:Trying to make their behavior make senseBelieving the right words will change themExpecting them to care about parenting the way you doWhy “performance parenting” happens during courtWhy things often change after custody is finalizedWhy they escalate when challengedWhy nobody else seems to see what you seeThis episode introduces the idea of “counter parenting”—when your ex is not trying to co-parent at all, but instead is using parenting as a way to maintain control, protect their image, and keep you reacting.Once you understand that, everything changes.Follow, rate, and share if this episode helped you. And send me a message: which mistake hit you the hardest?

What is it actually like to date someone with a toxic or narcissistic ex?After my recent episode on the 7 questions you need to ask before dating someone with a toxic ex, I got flooded with messages—and one thing became very clear:Most of you aren’t asking if you should do this…you’re already in it and trying to figure out what’s going on.In this Coaching Couch episode, I’m breaking down real listener questions about:feeling like you’re in a “three-person relationship”dealing with constant interruptions and dramafiguring out what’s normal vs what’s a red flagwatching your partner get pulled back into the cycleand deciding whether this is something you can actually live with long-termWe also talk about the biggest mistake people make in these relationships—and what actually determines whether it works or not.If you haven’t listened to the original breakdown episode yet, go back and start there—it’ll give you the full framework for this conversation.

Everyone is looking for the perfect response to shut down a toxic co-parent.But that’s the problem.In this episode, we’re breaking down why canned messages don’t work—and how they can actually keep you stuck in the exact cycle you’re trying to escape.Instead, we get into the real strategy:Why you need to stop explaining yourselfHow high-conflict personalities use communication to control youThe difference between responding and setting boundariesWhat to do when they spam, gaslight, or create fake urgencyAnd how to finally disengage without feeling like you’re losingThis episode is about shifting from reacting… to operating strategically.Because you don’t win by saying the right thing.You win by stopping the game entirely.

If you are thinking about dating someone who has a toxic or high-conflict ex… or you’re already in it and starting to feel the weight of it… this episode is for you.This is one of the most common questions I get — can a relationship actually work when one or both people have a narcissistic or high-conflict ex?And the answer is yes… but it’s not simple.There’s a version of this that works really well — where both people are self-aware, intentional, and have done the work. And then there’s a version of this that will absolutely drain you if you don’t know what you’re walking into.So today we’re going to walk through some honest questions you need to ask yourself before getting into — or staying in — a relationship like this.Because here’s the part people don’t talk about enough:These relationships can actually be incredibly strong. A lot of people who have come out of toxic or narcissistic relationships become very self-aware, very empathetic, and very intentional about how they show up in a partnership.But… they also come with real-life complications.And I’m not speaking about this in theory.Both me and Leo have high-conflict exes. We’ve dealt with the court system, custody schedules, accusations, parenting stress — all of it. So this is coming from lived experience, not just coaching.We’re going to get into things like:What it actually looks like to deal with conflict you didn’t createHow to support your partner without becoming another source of pressureWhat happens when you become the “enemy” in someone else’s narrativeThe reality of legal stress and custody battlesWhat it feels like to step into a bonus parent role in a high-conflict situationWhy parallel parenting is often the healthier option in these dynamicsAnd probably the most important piece — the one thing your partner has to be willing to do for this relationship to actually work.Because these relationships can work.In fact, some of the strongest, most connected relationships I’ve seen come out of people who have survived really toxic dynamics.But they don’t work by accident.They require clarity, emotional maturity, and really strong boundaries.So if you’re in this… or considering it… this episode is going to help you get a lot more honest about what you’re stepping into.

Spring break and summer travel should be simple…But if you have a high-conflict or narcissistic ex, you already know—it’s never that easy.Suddenly they need constant updates. Everything becomes “urgent.”And somehow, the chaos always starts right when you’re about to relax.It’s not a coincidence.In this video, I break down 8 practical travel tips to help you stay in control, protect your peace, and stop getting pulled into unnecessary conflict while you’re away.You’ll learn:How to handle fake urgency and last-minute demandsWhat you actually have to respond to (and what you don’t)How to stop getting pulled into endless back-and-forthWhy your ex ramps things up during travel—and how to shut it downIf you’re co-parenting with a narcissistic or high-conflict ex, this is how you travel without losing your sanity.If this helped you, make sure to:👍 Like💬 Comment your experience (I read them all)🔔 Subscribe for more real strategies on high-conflict co-parentingIf you’re dealing with this in real life and want support:👉 https://unfuckyourcoparenting.com/book-your-call#coparenting #narcissisticex #highconflictcoparenting #parallelparenting #coparentingtips #narcissismrecovery #toxicrelationships #familycourt #divorcehelp #coparentingproblems

Coaching Couch: Travel, passports, fake urgency, and the fear they won’t bring your kids backTravel should be simple. You plan the trip, coordinate the schedule, pack the bags, and go.But when you’re dealing with a high-conflict co-parent, travel turns into something else entirely: last-minute demands, passport drama, withheld information, fake urgency, guilt trips, control tactics, and sometimes very real fear.In this Coaching Couch episode, I break down why travel becomes one of the most explosive issues in high-conflict co-parenting, what’s actually happening underneath the logistics, and how to handle it without getting pulled into chaos.I cover:why “concern” is often really about controlhow toxic exes use information as leveragemanufactured urgency and last-minute sabotagethe difference between real risk and emotional discomfort8 practical tools to stay grounded and strategicwhat to think about with international traveland how to handle the terrifying fear that they might not bring the kids backI also answer real listener questions about permission, passports, check-ins, travel demands, international trips, and the emotional spiral that can come with all of it.If travel with your co-parent feels like a fight before the trip even starts, this episode is for you.Send your questions to: [email protected] me: @unfuckyourcoparentingTake a breath. Don’t take the bait.

If you feel like people are looking at you differently after your breakup… you’re not imagining it.Smear campaigns are real—and they usually don’t start when the relationship ends. They start quietly, over time, while you’re still in it.In this episode, I break down:how smear campaigns actually workwhy reactive abuse gets used against youwhy you start questioning everyone around youand the biggest mistake people make trying to “fix” their reputationBecause here’s the truth:Trying to control what people think about you will drain you—and often makes things worse.The real strategy? Emotional regulation.Not reacting. Not over-explaining. Not playing detective.Just showing up consistently as yourself—and letting that speak over time.If you’re dealing with a high-conflict ex and feel like your name is constantly being dragged behind the scenes, this episode will help you stop spiraling and start taking your power back.👉 Subscribe for more real talk on high-conflict co-parenting👉 Share this with someone who needs to hear itAnd if you’re ready to stop reacting and start feeling in control again, check out the resources below.Tune in next week as we continue to talk about how to unfuck your coparenting.#coparenting#highconflictcoparenting#narcissisticabuse#smearcampaign#reactiveabuse#emotionalregulation#parallelparenting#divorcerecovery#toxicrelationships#healingjourney#covertnarcissist#familycourt#coparentingtips#mentalhealthawareness#selfregulation

Thinking about going pro se (representing yourself) in family court against a narcissistic or high-conflict ex? You’re not alone. A lot of people reach the point where legal fees are overwhelming, attorneys don’t seem to understand the manipulation, and it feels like no one knows the case better than you do.But going pro se has both serious advantages and serious risks, especially when the other parent thrives on conflict and may be willing to weaponize the legal system.In this video, I break down the real pros and cons of representing yourself in court against a high-conflict narcissist, including:• Why knowing your case better than anyone can help you — and hurt you• The hidden cost of going pro se that most people don’t talk about• Why controlling strategy can be empowering but also dangerous• How narcissistic personalities often weaponize court procedures• Why settlement can become harder when you represent yourself• The 3 things you absolutely need before going pro se• A hybrid legal strategy most people don’t realize exists that can save thousands in legal feesIf you’re navigating high-conflict divorce, custody battles, or parallel parenting with a narcissistic ex, understanding how the court system actually works can make a huge difference in protecting yourself and your kids.This channel is all about helping you stop playing the narcissist’s game and start building a more stable, peaceful life for you and your children.If that’s the kind of content you need, make sure to subscribe.#highconflictdivorce #narcissisticex #familycourt #prose #custodybattle #parallelparenting #narcissisticabuse #divorcetips #coparenting #selfrepresentedlitigant high conflict divorce, narcissistic ex, going pro se in family court, representing yourself in court, custody battle tips, narcissist in court, parallel parenting, self represented litigant, family court strategy, divorce advice, narcissistic abuse recovery, coparenting with a narcissist, family court tactics, how to deal with narcissist in court, pro se litigant tips

Smear campaigns don’t start when the relationship ends—they usually start long before.In this first Coaching Couch episode, I answer real listener questions about what it actually looks like when a toxic or narcissistic ex starts shaping a narrative behind your back—and why trying to defend yourself often makes it worse.We talk about:how smear campaigns show up in real life (teachers, friends, kids, work)how reactive abuse gets used against youwhy you start second-guessing everyone around youand what to do instead of trying to “fix” what people thinkBecause the goal isn’t to control the narrative.It’s to stop feeding it.If you’ve ever felt like you’re being quietly painted as the problem, this episode will help you understand what’s happening—and how to handle it without losing your mind.📩 Submit questions for future episodes: [email protected]