Episodes
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#115: Everyone's Dumb But Me
Dave talks about a 'dick detector' his childhood friend found, pornbot names, red/green flags, the latest crazy headlines, and pretending to be Danny Glover on Yahoo Answers. Sponsor:
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#114: The Nutcracker
Dave talks about the lack of a War on Christmas this year, Starbucks drinks testing his waistline, pro athlete salaries being justified, and some truly crazy headlines from the last week Sponsor:
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#113: Hot Mess Express
Dave talks about Twin Flames and the dumpster fire types of people to get involved in that, Blackberrys, recent crazy headlines, and how religions with sex rules are sex cults.
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#112: Jingle Hells
Dave declares he's already over Christmas, talks about the ineffectiveness of voicemail, horror movie nudity, Boxing Day vs. Black Friday, the gong show of his first job, and the Rife rage
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#111: Grand Theft Sombrero
Dave discusses Black Friday, how a French Bulldog ruined Thanksgiving and not him, the creepy older guy in small towns that hang around teenagers, and people pooping in line at Disneyland (yes really)
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#110: My Turn To Ruin Thanksgiving
Dave talks about karate dorks, the Punk in the Park Festival, etiquette for falling down, unfortunate nicknames, and if cereal box prizes came with trashy liquor
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#109: Sega Kids
Dave speculates on the superior being; the Sega Kid or the Super Nintendo Kid. Also talks about Bill Burr's movie Old Dads, 23andMe letdowns for white people, and first-time unsupervised internet access. Sponsors: your first order.
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#108: Ten Hours of Terror
Dave describes his recent disastrous trip to San Diego, naked people urinating on subway trains, and a police officer who was recognized by one of her OnlyFans subscribers during a traffic stop Sponsor:
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#107: French-Teaching Truffle Pig
Dave talks about OJ Simpson avoiding LA (and reflective surfaces) as to not meet 'who did it', GoPuff delivering 'adult toys', and getting caught vandalizing his own desk with disparaging remarks about his teacher Sponsors: your first order.
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#106: Kansas City Karens
Dave speculates the scene if Taylor Swift did the 'Tomahawk' at the Kansas City Chiefs game, if sports teams had 'insensitive' team names about western culture, when drinking in the morning is socially acceptable, and pre-planned excuses for dates. Sponsor:
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#105: Lauren Boebert’s Parade of Public Penises
Dave talks about Lauren Boebert's husband whipping it out at a bowling alley and picking up where she left off with her new date, giving a tour of LA, and getting kicked out of Canadian Idol Sponsors:
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#104: Squish The Fish
Dave recounts his drunk friend at an NFL game, the mommy blogger arrested for not being such a good mommy, the aliens presented in Mexico, religious polygamy, and legalized prostitution. Sponsors: off the next 2 months! DraftKings - Get in on the NFL week two action with DraftKings Sportsbook!…
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#103: Butt Drama
Dave describes the hellscape of driving in San Francisco, his new cat having stinky butt drama, growing older, and stages of alcoholism Sponsors: New customers can take home $200 in bonus bets instantly just for betting $5.
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#102: Disney Adults pt. 2
Dave goes back to Disneyland and encounters more Disney Adults ruining it for the kids, gas station daycares, drunk grandmothers, and rural America Sponsor:
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#101: I Identify As 215lbs
Dave recalls getting to swear in front of a teacher, a man identifying as Christian yelling about food stamps, warns about guys who own swords, vocal fry, and lightly brushes on the Trump arrest Sponsor:
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#100: Mom, A Leprechaun!
Dave talks about what a Racist Conversion Camp would be like, original Nintendo cheat codes, and how a kid publicly freaked out thinking Dave was a leprechaun during a horrible time in life he wore a fedora with a chin strap beard. SPONSOR:
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#099: Red Blooded
Dave gives advice on what NOT to do when cancelling plans, escaping a SiriusXM trial, which TV dads would vote for Trump or Biden, how every kid has a traumatizing hamster story, stealing furniture from venues that owe you money, and the Nickelback documentary. Sponsor:
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#098: FLORIDA MAN!!!
In what is technically the 100th episode, Dave goes through some of the wildest FLORIDA MAN news stories. Meth, nudity, alligators, and a whole lot of booze. sponsor: EVERYPLATE: go to https://everyplate.com/podcast and entering code valleyboys49 to get started for just $1.49
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#097: Lousy Fornicators
Dave describes a recent encounter of people doing their nasty business in broad day light public, DoorDash creeps, and how to handle your women stinking up the bathroom
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#096: Instant Gratification Doesn’t Come Fast Enough
Dave talks about why he doesn't go to parties at famous people's houses, a disastrous story where he was invited to try out for a school hockey team because they confused him with an NHL prospect, and voting against your own interests to stick it to the libs. SPONSOR:
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#095: Ugly Guy Summer
Dave gets into an Uber driver randomly spurring her right wing beliefs like it's a game of bingo, road trips in the 90s, how we've all been the accidental creep, and why you shouldn't drunk dial past age 30
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#094: It Gets Worse Before It Gets Worse
Dave talks about the Disney Adult's cousin the Vegas Voyager, religions had logos someone had to design, judging someone based on their name, and the glory days of flip phones and MySpace SPONSORS: DUER: Get 15% off storewide at https://shopduer.com MANSCAPED: Get 20% plus free shipping at...
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#093: What’s A Fart To The Man Who Shat Himself
Dave plots a sickening way to get revenge on a rental increase, his hatred for Trader Joe's, and makes a list of the type of guys who "whip out their hog" at inappropriate times SPONSOR: FACTOR - go to https://factormeals.com/valleyboys50 to get 50% off your first box
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#092: Everyone In LA Does Cocaine
Dave talks about how his friend got engaged to a woman he met while doing cocaine together, how the Kardashians can fart in a jar and you'd still buy it, feral barn cats, and Dry May
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#091: 5’10 Is The Liar’s Height
Dave is back talking about recent live performance blunders, banning drag shows, Easter Jesus, and how anyone saying they're 5'10 is lying
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#090: Disney Adults
Dave goes into great detail about Disneyland's villain for children; Disney Adults. Also discussed is a school superintendent leaving his gun on the toilet for children to find, influencers, an Ai writing Dave Weasel jokes, and Madonna the Lizard Queen SPONSOR: FACTOR...
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#089: Fart Betrayal
Dave is back to discuss when it's appropriate to start farting around your partner, fast food CEOs, and how beards make double chins look like 1.5 chins Sponsor: FACTOR - get 50% off your first box at https://factormeals.com/valleyboys50
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#088: COVIDave
Dave Weasel expresses how he can't believe he can't go to Vegas and to an NFL game there without catching the Roni. Despite the disease, he talks about the 11.5 hour drive back to LA, Mrs. Coconuts, all while sounding like he's underwater (that's just his voice, not a technical difficulty)
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#087: Megatron Fizzlebum
Dave goes over the weird things he would do if he were Elon rich, gifts to give people you hate, and how men don’t get smarter, they learn to control their stupidity. Sponsor: Valley Boys Podcast is sponsored by BETTERHELP get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/valleyboys Manscaped…
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#086: She’s Not Vape Juice Material
Dave talks about the benefits of arranged marriages, swearing in kindergarten, and dishes horror stories about a crazy Winnipeg family Sponsor: Valley Boys Podcast is sponsored by BETTERHELP get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/valleyboys
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#085: Scissoring Across The Galaxy
Dave Weasel discusses using your filth for revenge, parents casting their kids for ugly roles, and plays Aspergers or CTE Sponsor: Manscaped - manscaped.com/VALLEYBOYS for 20% OFF + Free Shipping Fitbod - Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE at Fitbod.me/VALLEYBOYS.
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#084: MRI At The Zoo
Dave Weasel discusses getting a woman fired from Lyft, San Francisco, And gaining so much weight he'll need an MRI at the zoo. Sponsor: Valley Boys Podcast is sponsored by BETTERHELP get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/valleyboys
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#083: Ain’t Nothing But A Bombass Bathroom
Dave Weasel reviews the Union Station bathroom, suspects a dog is the mayor of Reseda, and clarifies meat clowns vs dirt farmers Sponsor: Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE at Fitbod.me/VALLEYBOYS
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#082: Don’t Gotta Deal With This
Dave Weasel discusses the Kanye West mutiny, Jehovah's Witness Halloween, your own body betraying you, Orange County, and other people's boring work stories. Sponsor: go to Betterhelp.com/VALLEYBOYS for 10% off you first month of therapy
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#081: New Man On The Minnesota Vikings
Dave gives a rundown on some unique fetishes, Lizzo and the crystal flute uproar, Davante Adams, and what Michael Myers would possibly be doing between all the murdering Sponsor: go to Betterhelp.com/VALLEYBOYS for 10% off you first month of therapy
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#080: Deport Jeffery Dahmer
Dave Weasel discusses true crime interest vs. serial killer interest, Mormon sexual loopholes, and replacing zodiac signs with which Ninja Turtle you liked Sponsor: Get 25% off your subscription or try out the app for FREE when you sign up now at Fitbod.me/VALLEYBOYS
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#079: ’Know Your Worth’ Works Both Ways
We are back! Dave talks about his time as a college mascot, illustrates how there's no such thing as a free lunch, speculates on what the Pig People from the reality shows REALLY do, and the cast of characters you see at the DMV
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#078: Real Housecats of Orange County
Dave Weasel is joined by comedians Kenan Kaya and Hector Resendez to talk about everything from incest in Iowa to sharting in the bed, and getting kicked out of a concert as a Canadian vs. a Mexican.
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#077: Spontaneous Orgies
The boys speculate on how spontaneous orgies would be started in real life, carjackings, and how Dave suggested to a new NHL owner the dumbest team name possible.
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#076: Mullet Junkie
The boys discuss Brandon's new back-length mullet, the term 'slut' being gender neutral, and what Roe v. Wade means for these poor, poor men
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#075: Jehovah’s Thiccness
With Brandon back after surgery, the boys discuss getting fatter, if farts can be racist, Elon Musk, and Dave's idea to use GoFundMe for all his life expenses.
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#074: Honest METHtake
In an other solo episode, Dave Weasel tells wild stories from his band days, growing up Jehovah's Witness, and a man who gave a cop meth instead of his license and registration.
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#073: The Daveout
In a solo episode while Brandon recovers from surgery, Dave talks about Elizabeth Holmes and The Dropout, the crazy pastor casting out "witches", and embracing your filth but not like the guy caught masturbating four times on one flight did
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#072: Honest Company Slogans
The boys speculate on what some honest company slogans would be, including for Victoria’s Secret and dollar stores that sell pregnancy test, their first time cussing in front of their parents, and a man with no arms who stabbed someone
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#071: Two Boys One Cup
The boys finally address Brandon cutting a remote episode short because he had to take a dump in a 711 cup in his truck, a woman hospitalized for holding in farts, and a man who shot off his own penis breaking into cars
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#070: Waxing The Dolphin
The boys give advice on what to wear if you want people to avoid you, Nazis, and an assault with a bag of used needles
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#069: Fatman Returns
With Brandon back in LA, the boys talk about a fat Olympics, the trashiest places to get kicked out of, Love is Blind, and fatfishing.
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Dumpster Diving #2: DIVORCE
Dave goes over the wildest headlines about divorce including a marriage destroyed by farting, Mormon gay/straight marriages, Kim/Kanye/Skete, and a wife who slept with the entire WuTang Clan
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#068: Hector The Consensual Molester
Hector Resendez joins Dave to talk about how toilet plungers are a form of currency in Iowa, Los Angeles vs Orange County comedians, and a pregnant stripper named "Skunky" crying
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#067: Drunk On Freedom & Urine
In a solo episode, Dave goes over some recent headlines including an anti-vaxxer leading the "urine therapy" movement, Neil Young, a woman trying to buy a baby at Walmart, and a real life Weekend At Bernies
Topics in this show