PODCAST · health
We Read Movies
by We Read Movies
There are good gay movies out there, but we won't be talking about them. We're three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don't just watch movies, we read them for filth.
Episodes
-
Boy Culture: Generation X
This week, we watched the sequel, 20 years in the making, to Q Allen Brocka's film Boy Culture, about a very sex-negative prostitute who bums everyone around him out. After raising money on Kickstarter to produce a star-studded TV series about the continuing adventures of everyone's least…
more -
Henry Gamble's Birthday Party
This week, we watched the coming of age teen movie Henry Gamble's Birthday Party, about the most terrible pool party you've ever imagined. Dark secrets about your mom's sex life, casual racism, self-harm, and worst of all a guy playing the guitar. Can Steve from Stranger Things jerking off into a...
-
Codename: Dynastud
This week, not to spoil things too much, but we watched the actually very fun superhero/spy comedy/thriller Codename: Dynastud. In the distant dystopian future of 2024, being gay is illegal, and only one man can save us, the magical spy codenamed (by himself, so more what we'd call a "nickname")...
-
Birder
This week, we watched the only somewhat incomprehensible 2023 thriller (?) Birder, which is described on IMDb as being about a "bird watcher who invades a nude queer campground in New Hampshire, ensnaring locals with his dark fetish." What is this dark fetish? Is it bird watching? Let's find out!...
-
Emilia Perez
We're back! This week, we watched the Academy-beloved, audience-disliked 2024 movie Emilia Perez. Does the Spanish-language musical about a trans Mexican druglord in hold up, even though it was made by a cis French director who chose to learn nothing about trans people, about Mexico, or even to...
-
The Little Hours (with Tyler Mead)
This week, we had special guest Tyler Mead on to talk about the 2017 comedy (mostly?) The Little Hours. Based on one story from The Decamaron (apparently. We've certainly never read it), it's a mostly improvved story where Aubrey Plaza, Alison Brie and Kate Micucci play foul-mouthed, horny nuns…
more -
Pitchfork
We're back! After a long hiatus while Chris moved across country, we're officially in full swing again, and bringing you a talk about the 2016 slasher (stabber? poker?) Pitchfork, about a group of teens being hunted by a man with a pitchfork for a hand for... reason? Topics discussed: Murderous...
-
Vampires: Brighter in Darkness
After a brief hiatus, we're back, with the truly amazing bad movie Vampires: Brighter in Darkness. Vampires are real, y'all, and they're all gay, obviously. But otherwise they're not at all like the vampires you're used to. They can summon demon scorpions, and teleport, and hitch rides on the…
more -
Brooklyn Bizarre
This week, we watched the not-really-a-movie movie Brooklyn Bizarre. It's 80-90% montages of upsetting weirdo burlesque performances, and then there's a completely unexplained murder at the end, but join us as Eric tries to convince us that it actually means something. Topics discussed: What...
-
Departing Seniors
This week we watched the 2023 slasher movie Departing Seniors. When a gay high-schooler is pushed down the stairs by bullies, the blow to his head that almost kills him actually gives him psychic powers, which he can use to see the future. He then uses that power to save his bullies (who, you may...
-
Adam and Steve
This week, we watched the 2005 rom-com Adam and Steve featuring Parker Posey and Chris Kattan (and starring two other people). We say rom-com, but there's not really any romance, nor is there any comedy. Instead, we're given confusing bits about family curses and a full performance of a song from...
-
Devil's Path
This week, we watched the 2018 thriller Devil's Path. When two obvious lunatics meet on a cruising ground within a state park, each with their own secrets, they begin a deadly game of cat and mouse. Or, at the very least, they wander the woods for about an evening, yelling at each other about...
-
The Fruit Machine
This week, we watched the 1988 British film The Fruit Machine. Which, yes, does mean it's time for some positively terrible accents from us while we discuss a film where a couple of teenagers witness a murder, go on the run, get abused by a famous opera singer, and finally rescue a magical…
more -
Holiday Heart (with Mark Finley)
This week, we were joined by Seattle drag royalty Mark Finley to talk about the movie that he appears in, Holiday Heart. When a drag queen with the legal birth name of Holiday Heart (played by Ving Rhames) befriends an addict (Alfre Woodard), and her daughter, he puts all of his dreams on hold…
more -
Scrooge and Marley
This week, we got into the Christmas spirit with the 2013 movie Scrooge and Marley, a gay retelling of A Christmas Carol that implies the two title characters will be in love, but they're not. It's mostly a faithful retelling of the Dickens story except that everyone is gay in it, and also they…
more -
Baby Steps
This week, we watched Baby Steps, the sequel to the 2018's Say Yes, which you may remember from a past episode, is about a woman with cancer who decides to set up her husband and her twin brother. In the sequel, they're still together, and from beyond the grave, she's decided to interfere in…
more -
The Singing Forest
This week, we watched The Singing Forest, a movie that we have a lot of theories and questions about. Questions like, "why?" and "wait, what?!" IMDb calls it "The worst LGBT movie ever," are they right? Let's find out! Topics discussed: The Young Pope is younger than other popes Reincarnation…
more -
eXploited
This week, we watched the 2022 "thriller" eXploited, which is in no way related to eXistenZ, despite their shared love of capitalizing letters in the middle of words. No, this one is about how online porn leads to murder. Or... not really murder, I guess. There's actually surprisingly little…
more -
The Covenant
This week, we watched the 2006 homoerotic boarding school witch movie The Covenant, starring Sebastian Stan and Steven Strait. Although it's not a "gay movie" per se, it's actually surprisingly gay, and the swimming pool scene was important for a lot of gay teens in the early 2000's. Topics...
-
Out of Body
This week, we watched the 2020 movie Out of Body. When a demon is released from an orb (you know how all orbs have demons living inside them?), and possesses the body of Malcolm, it's up to his best friend Henry (who's secretly in love with him) to get it back. Or that's what the description on...
-
Open Cam
This week, we watched the 2005 film Open Cam, which only served to reinforce for Chris that he's getting older and will someday die. A serial killer is stalking the streets of Washington DC, and specifically targeting the men in a DC based cam site, but don't worry because a mysterious gay...
-
Red, White and Royal Blue
This week, we (along with 6 million straight women) watched the 2023 movie Red, White and Royal Blue. A Rom-Com (but hold the com, please) about the son of a US president falling in love with the Prince of England. Despite being about gay people, it seems to have been made exclusively for a...
-
The Men Next Door
This week, we watched the 2012 Rob Williams film The Men Next Door. When a sad sack without any real friends starts dating both a father and his son at the same time, he has to make a choice, and it'll involve retelling the story to four different people in great detail. Topics discussed: Cake...
-
Love, Simon
This week, we watched the 2018 young adult film Love, Simon, a movie that's about 50% emails. When a closetted gay teen is blackmailed with emails that he sent to another closetted gay teen, it leads to a dramatic coming out that will have everyone in his life going "oh, okay. That's fine" Topics...
-
Deadly Skies
This week, we watched the 2006 made for HereTV movie Deadly Skies, starring future neo-con Antonio Sabato Jr. When an planet killer asteroid threatens to crash into the Earth, it's up to a plucky band of scientists and two gay Air Force guys to save the world by turning on a secret laser everyone...
-
Fire Island (but not THAT one)
This week, we watched the 2023 slasher movie Fire Island, not to be confused with the 2022 rom-com Fire Island. It may or may not be a sequel to past We Read Movies flick Last Ferry (it's not), and it may or may not even be a gay movie, but we have fun with it. Topics discussed: Sequel naming...
-
Triple Crossed
This week, after some mild technical difficulties, we're back! And we watched the 2013 gay hitman flick Triple Crossed, starring and directed by the very good sport friend of the pod Sean Paul Lockhart. When an ex-marine is given a job to kill the ex boyfriend of his friend and sometimes lover......
-
Love or Whatever
This week, we watched the 2012 rom(?)-com(?) Love Or Whatever, the film that dared to ask the question, "can bi people be trusted?" And that also dares to answer the question, "no. They cannot." Also, it dares to ask the question, "what's Meredith from the Office been up?" And the answer to that...
-
Back Soon
This week, we watched the 2007 Rob Williams (not to be confused with Robin Williams) movie Back Soon. When a straight drug dealer gets a horny dead lady's ghost inside his body, he turns gay for her widower, who turns gay for him too through the power of sleepwalking. It's a very confusing plot,...
-
Swallowed
This week, we watched the 2022 body horror (or so we were led to believe) movie Swallowed. When a gay guy and his best straight friend get roped into being drug mules, they find out that the condoms full of drugs they swallowed to cross the Canadian border were actually weirdo bug eggs that are...
-
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
This week, for the podcast's three-year birthday, after threatening to do it for so long, we decided to torture ourselves by watching the Kevin James and Adam Sandler movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. That's right we sat through every minute of this TWO HOUR LONG movie (that's about an...
-
Knock at the Cabin
This week, we watched the very recent M. Night Shyamalan movie Knock At the Cabin. Ostensibly a movie with gay main characters, and we don't want to spoil the twist for you, but it ends up being quite possibly the most offensive movie we've ever seen, both because it's actually offensive and...
-
Eating Out: Drama Camp
This week, we invited our good friends Mike and Kyle back to watch the fourth and most excruciating of the Eating Out movies: Drama Camp. A camp of queer people out in the woods, secret identities, bizarre rules against sex? It sounds like the hit Kevin Bacon movie They/Them, but no, the only…
more -
Too Much Sun
This week, we watched the 1990 Eric Idle, Andrea Martin, Robert Downey Jr., and Ralph Macchio movie Too Much Sun. After a murdered millionaire's will stipulates that one of his gay children will have to produce a child of their own, they'll have to engage in some wacky farcical adventures to get...
-
Socket
This week, we watched the very strange and David Cronenberg-ian 2007 movie Socket. After he's struck by lightning and develops electricity vampire powers, a doctor joins up with a group of other electricity vampires for a party-and-play metaphor that ends in multiple murders. Does it make sense?...
-
Dashing in December
This week, we're late in discussing the Hallmark original Christmas movie Dashing in December. It's your standard Hallmark fare, guy from the big city tries to shut down the struggling horse ranch his mom (Andie MacDowell) owns, only to fall in love with her employee. We know, we know, we meant…
more -
Kiss Me Deadly
This week, we watched the Shannen Doherty and Robert Gant gay spy thriller Kiss Me Deadly, produced for Here TV. Well, one of us did. The other two watched a straight-washed recut of this movie aired at appearing on other networks, and it takes us a really long time to figure out that we watched...
-
A Wedding Most Strange
This week, we talked for a solid three and a half hours about the 85 minute long movie A Wedding Most Strange, and then Chris painstakingly took out a bunch of weird tangents to cut it down to the length it is now. The movie was so very deeply and maniacally weird that it just broke our brains....
-
My Fake Boyfriend
This week, we watched the recent Buzzfeed Productions movie My Fake Boyfriend, an incoherent tale of what happens when you make a fake boyfriend for social media, but afterwards realize you want to be with a handsome chef whose arms are muscular beyond belief. Also, it asks the very important...
-
Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
It's every gay's favorite holiday, Halloween! So to get into the spooky spirit we watched the not-explicitly-gay-but-oh-so-gay horror movie Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge. Featuring several naked male butts, a very sexual shower death, and rubber play sheets, this is perhaps the…
more -
They/Them (with Adam Sass)
This week, for Spooky Season we watched the recent LGBTQ+ Kevin Bacon horror movie They/Them, about a killer who's stalking a gay conversion camp. Except, it's barely a horror movie, since the kids are in no danger, and the only people getting slashed are the jerks who run the camp. And because…
more -
At the End of the Day
This week, we watched the 2018 gay christian movie At the End of the Day, about a bigot who learns, through subterfuge and the power of love, to be slightly less bigotted. Featuring inappropriate pranks and even more inappropriate eating, the movie left us with a couple of questions, like "is…
more -
Ice Blues
This week, we watched the fourth and final (until we get that Kickstarter off the ground) movie in the Donald Strachey mysteries, Ice Blues. The most comprehensible and therefore the least fun of the series, it's also his least gay, but don't worry, we'll still find plenty to talk about, like how...
-
House of Adam
This week, we watched the 2006 movie House of Adam. Done by the same director as past episode D'Agostino, this movie purports to be a gay ghost story, but the ghost doesn't show up for until the last 5 minutes or so. Instead we get about 40 minutes of corporate intrigue, some straight people who...
-
Shadowlands
This week, we watched the 2018 movie anthology. No, not that Shadowlands... No, not that Shadowlands either... The other one. The gay one. Okay, well, they made a gay movie called Shadowlands and someone fucks a ghost in it. It's not surprising that you've never heard of it, but I promise you…
more -
Cruising
This week, we watched the 1980 Al Pacino movie Cruising, about a serial killer stalking the gay S&M cruising community, and the undercover cop who maybe catches him. Or maybe is the killer himself? The movie's very confusing, but what we do know is that someone's getting fisted in the background…
more -
SHORTS: Stonewall and Queer Pop Culture (with Matt Baume)
This week, as a supplement to our episode on Stonewall, we had the incomparable Matt Baume on to talk to us about queer representation both before and after the Stonewall riots. Join us as we learn about the history of queer portrayals in media, from anti-gay propaganda films up to that time…
more -
Stonewall
This week, because it's Pride Month, we talked about the 2015 movie Stonewall, the movie that asked, what if we took a real event and replaced almost all the black people in it with one bland white dude? Also, they throw in a little fem shaming and a weird third act kidnapping, Topics discussed:...
-
Hold Your Peace
This week, Chris texted the group while drunk on a Wednesday at 12:30am and said "guys we NEED to do the 2011 movie Hold Your Peace. The movie is super boring, it's about a guy who's trying to break up his ex's wedding. But the bachelor party scene is incredible!" (There were a lot more spelling...
-
Kept Boy
Sorry it's late! Chris decided to eat at a disreputable but delicious teriyaki place and then be bedridden for 3 days with the worst case of food poisoning he's ever had, but this week, we watched the 2017 movie Kept Boy. When an aging sugar baby feels his boyfriend falling for the pool boy, he...
We're indexing this podcast's transcripts for the first time — this can take a minute or two. We'll show results as soon as they're ready.
No matches for "" in this podcast's transcripts.
No topics indexed yet for this podcast.
Loading reviews...
ABOUT THIS SHOW
There are good gay movies out there, but we won't be talking about them. We're three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don't just watch movies, we read them for filth.
HOSTED BY
We Read Movies
Loading similar podcasts...
Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does We Read Movies have?
We Read Movies currently has 120 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is We Read Movies about?
There are good gay movies out there, but we won't be talking about them. We're three unqualified nobodies who discuss the very worst that gay cinema has to offer. At We Read Movies, we don't just watch movies, we read them for filth.
How often does We Read Movies release new episodes?
We Read Movies publishes regularly with 120 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to We Read Movies?
You can listen to We Read Movies on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts We Read Movies?
We Read Movies is created and hosted by We Read Movies.
URL copied to clipboard!