Welcome to Paradise (It Sucks)
by Cryptic County and Cloud10
Take a trip with Andy Tate (Let’s Not Meet, Odd Trails), your travel companion into stories about the worst vacations of all time, real stories from real people about their once in a lifetime getaways that turned unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. Welcome to Paradise (It Sucks) — it’s a hell of a time.
Episodes
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Disaster in the Desert
Pioneertown was an old movie set built by Gene Autry for his westerns and has one famous honky tonk music venue on the premises - it’s called Pappy and Harriets Pioneertown Palace. But this wasn’t a good old time listening to beautiful country and western music in the desert… in fact, this trip -...
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Laughlin Out Loud
This is a story about a young woman’s 21st birthday celebration… crapping out.
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Smashed in the Nash
This week’s story involves an electric vehicle, an ill-advised road trip from Chicago and unlimited Lederhosen. Yeah, you heard the right. Follow along as we travel from the icy lakes of Lake Michigan to the honky tonkin streets of Music City, USA.
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Terror on the High Seas
This week’s three-story episode is packed with tales about abandonment, too much alcohol, secret jail cells, shower-toilets, social media and termination. And it all happens in one of our most familiar places: A cruise ship.
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Festival Season Nightmare
This week we hear tales of restless children, diapers, open air drug use, contaminated drinking water, raw sewage, a little bit of rock n roll, lame DJ’s and oh yeah - dirty hippies.
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Rocky Mountain Bye Bye
This week's episode involves arctic temperatures, machismo, stubbornness, hidden fees and oh yeah - the loss of extremities. In fact the game is afoot. As they say.
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Islands in the Steam…ing Load of Heartaches and Annoyances
This week’s episode takes place in a classic vacation setting, the real-life place that most people probably think of first when someone says the word “vacation.” And that’s the South Pacific. Fiji, to be more precise. Beautiful waters. Idyllic islands. White sands. Exotic fruits. Tropical…
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Standby for Episode 16!
This episode has everything. An idyllic fantasy of a South Pacific wonderland shattered. Hardline government agents enforcing agricultural rules. Accidental property damage? You don’t want to miss.
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An Extremely Fun Thing You Should Never Do Again and Almost Couldn’t, Because It Almost Killed You
This week’s episode is packed with tales about blood-pumping, death-defying acts undertaken during vacations. Sponsors:
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Standby for Episode 15!
The episode for those people who use their vacation to go on a anxiety-filled, action-packed, to-the-extreme experience only to perhaps risk their lives along the way.
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Hotel, Motel, Holiday In Hell
Three stories about some of the worst hotel and motel experiences ever endured by innocent travelers. Sponsor:
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Standby for Episode 14!
A series of short stories about big, bad hotels, crummy and creepy motels, and other places that turned dark when some innocent folks just wanted to get some shut eye.
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Fort What It’s Worth
A simple bus trip took a turn for the scary... as most bus trips do!
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Standby for Episode 13!
The tale of a dope who fell asleep on a short train ride from Oklahoma to the Dallas metropolitan area.
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Family No-Fair
Recently Dwayne took what he thought was going to be a relaxing, easygoing trip to Cuba. Resorts. Nature biking. Horseback riding. Beaches. It sounds absolutely fantastic. But a good time was not had by all. Or anyone really. Unless your idea of a good time involves continuous loss of cash and...
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Standby for Episode 12!
What looked to be a pleasant excursion to the picturesque and interesting town of Trinidad in central Cuba was, in fact, a nightmare.
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The Nature Curse with Jay Larson
This week, host Andrew Tate speaks with standup comedian Jay Larson about his own horror vacation stories. These tales include unforgettable jaunts to Honduras, the Dominican Republic, rural Connecticut, Yosemite, and the worst hiking trail on the West Coast. Sponsors:
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Standby for Episode 11!
Next week, standup comedian Jay Larson tells his most horrible vacation stories himself, in his own words, while Andrew just kind of listens with his mouth agape.
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Variations on a Theme…Park
Everybody seems to have had at least one bad day at a major theme park. And in this episode, we speak with three individuals who may never go to a theme park again...
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Standby for Episode 10!
This week, we’re veering away from our usual one-story, one-show format to collect all of these amusing tales of amusement park terribleness into one mega-episode. It’s the battle Royale of bad vacations. It’s the greatest hits of terrible times. It’s the very best of the very worst.
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Bruising for a Cruising
What was supposed to be a simple pleasure cruise with Collin's one cool aunt turned into what can only be described as the worst vacation ever.
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Standby for Episode 9!
The villain in this story: a big ol’ expensive, all-inclusive, tantalizing cruise. Think Titanic and make it 10x worse.
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Southern Discomfort
What was supposed to be a fairly routine road trip through several states comprising the Great American South went quite badly to say the least.
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Standby for Episode 8!
What was supposed to be a fairly routine road trip through several states around the Great American South ends up taking a turn for the worst. Lots of creepy moments, vehicular catastrophes, technological mishaps, and misunderstandings that now, with the passage of time, are more hilarious than...
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Dope Springs Eternal, Or: Spring Break-Up
A Spring Break gone wrong in the drunken youthful cesspool of Lake Havasu Arizona. Sponsors- BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp.com/PARADISE today to get 10% off your first month. Credits: Welcome to Paradise (It Sucks) is a collaboration between Cloud10 Media and Cryptic County Executive producers:...
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Standby for Episode 7!
Next week's episode is your classic story of girl meets boy. Girl agrees to go on a spring break trip with boy. Boy and girl split up but stay friends. Girl and boy go on spring break trip anyway. Girl’s new boyfriend becomes so convinced he saw her being untoward on an MTV spring break broadcast...
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Montana Biker Gangs From Hell In 3-D
A biker gangs roams the streets picking fights with suburban dads on camping trips. Credits: Welcome to Paradise (It Sucks) is a collaboration between Cloud10 Media and Cryptic County Executive producers: Andrew Tate and Sim Sarna Producers: Brian Boone and Devin Ruskin Audio Engineer: Trevin Bartee
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Standby for Episode 6!
On our next episode, we’re going way back to the late 1970s, when going outside was a fun novelty, and impolite biker gangs roamed the great American west, picking fights with suburban dads on camping trips.
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Carsick Bedrest
A fun-filled family vacation turns into a car ride from Hell. Sponsor: BetterHelp: BetterHelp.com/PARADISE for 10% off your first month of therapy Credits: Welcome to Paradise (It Sucks) is a collaboration between Cloud10 Media and Cryptic County Executive producers: Andrew Tate and Sim Sarna...
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Standby for Episode 5!
Next week's episode is about your average, fun-seeking family looking to make some memories with a family road trip, straight out of the Griswald family playbook. And sure enough, everything that can go wrong does. This episode has everything that defines a bad vacation and a “Welcome to…
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The Old Ball Game
An elderly ex-ballplayer's son helps him fulfill his dying wish to attend a game at every major league ballpark. Emphasis on dying wish. Sponsors: Zocdoc- Go to Zocdoc.com/PARADISE and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24…
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Standby for Episode 4!
Our next installment comes out on Thursday, and it’s all about baseball, but don’t worry — it’s not as boring as it sounds. We tell the tale of an elderly ex-ballplayer whose son helps him fulfill his dying wish to attend a game at every major league ballpark. Emphasis on “dying wish,” because…
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The Hostile Hostel
A once in a lifetime trip to Asia turned into a toxic, terrifying and troubling experience for a solo backpacker and student-teacher. Sponsor: BetterHelp.com/PARADISE for 10% off your first month of therapy Credits: Welcome to Paradise (It Sucks) is a collaboration between Cloud10 Media and…
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Standby for Episode 3!
Our next installment comes out on Thursday, and it’s a harrowing tale that takes place in a hostel. Sure, hostels are by and large unpredictable, but this hostel was set deep in the countryside of Laos and the story involves the world’s creepiest hostel proprietor and a number of shocking…
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Shroom for Improvement
An unexpected camping trip turned into a different type of trip if you catch our drift that resulted in some childlike behavior to say the least. Sponsors: BetterHelp- Visit BetterHelp.com/PARADISE to get 10% off your first month. Zocdoc- Go to Zocdoc.com/PARADISE and download the Zocdoc app for...
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What Happens in Vegas is Why I Won’t Be Going Back to Vegas
A wild night in Vegas leads to a newly wedded couple getting strung along in what can only be described as a sex-filled robbery and con. Credits: Welcome to Paradise (It Sucks) is a collaboration between Cloud10 Media and Cryptic County Executive producers: Andrew Tate and Sim Sarna Producers:...
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Welcome to Paradise (It Sucks)
Almost everybody deserves a vacation, wants a vacation, and saves up their hard-earned money to take that vacation, but sometimes that trip to heaven can take a wrong turn and wind up in hell. On this podcast, we’ll hear from real people about their real, and really awful, vacations that have…
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About this show
Take a trip with Andy Tate (Let’s Not Meet, Odd Trails), your travel companion into stories about the worst vacations of all time, real stories from real people about their once in a lifetime getaways that turned unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. Welcome to Paradise (It Sucks) — it’s a hell of a time.
Hosted by
Cryptic County and Cloud10