What We Don't Say Podcast

Hey, tribe!Episode 7 of What We Don’t Say is here:Quick question: When you’re asked to undress at the gynecologist, during a Brazilian wax, before a massage, or in another professional setting—what do you do with your underwear?Do you leave it on the chair? Place it on top of your clothes? Or fold it into a tiny square and hide it underneath everything like it has entered the Witness Protection Program?On a day that carries grief and complicated emotions for many people, I wanted to offer something intentionally lighter—a little room to breathe, laugh, and become curious about an ordinary ritual many of us have never questioned.In this episode, one casual conversation with my Brazilian wax professional sends me down an unexpectedly revealing path. What begins as a funny question about underwear becomes a broader reflection on our bodies, our private rituals, and the difference between acting intentionally and moving on autopilot.This episode is playful, personal, and perhaps a little more thought-provoking than you would expect from a conversation about where the panties go when the pants come off.Episode 7 is now available to listen to on Substack.After you listen, I want to hear from you:Where do your underwear go—and have you ever stopped to ask yourself why?If this episode makes you laugh, think, or reconsider your pre-appointment routine, please share it with someone who will answer the question honestly.Until next time, stay curious, stay compassionate, and keep making room for the conversations that matter.With care,Jarissa E. Greenard, M.A. Ed.Host of What We Don’t Say This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenardcollective.substack.com

Hey, tribe!Episode 6 of What We Don’t Say is here:What We Don’t Say About Condoms*A Practical Guide to Fit, Feel, Pleasure, and Protection*Most of us have heard the phrase “just use protection.” But how many of us were actually taught how to choose a condom, determine the right fit, understand which materials and lubricants work together, or talk about condoms without embarrassment?Condoms may be familiar, but familiarity is not the same as understanding.In this episode, we’re having a broader, more honest conversation about:* External and internal condoms* Fit, materials, textures, and lubrication* Comfort, sensation, and pleasure* Using condoms with sex toys* Common mistakes that may increase the chance of breakage* Communicating your boundaries and negotiating condom use* How condoms can fit into a larger sexual health and prevention planI also share my personal experience using an internal condom—including the honest truth about what it felt like the first time—and introduce a memorable way to remember the steps for using an external condom correctly.This episode is not about treating condoms as a morality test. They are tools. The more we understand how those tools work, the better prepared we are to make choices rooted in consent, pleasure, communication, and care.We’ve officially made it to Episode 6, which means we are more than halfway through the first 10 episodes of What We Don’t Say. Thank you for continuing to listen, reflect, and make room for these conversations with me.After you listen, I want to hear from you:What is something you wish you had been taught about condoms before you became sexually active?If this episode answers a question you have—or one you never felt comfortable asking—please share it with someone who may need it.Until next time, stay curious, stay compassionate, and keep making room for the conversations that matter.With care,Jarissa E. Greenard, M.A. Ed.Host of What We Don’t Say This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenardcollective.substack.com

🎙️ New Episode: Testing Is Half the Plan“When were you last tested?”For many people, that question can sound like an accusation. But what if we heard it as an invitation. An invitation to communicate, to care, and to make informed choices together?In Episode 5 of What We Don’t Say, I’m exploring sexual health testing beyond the familiar advice to simply “know your status.” We’re talking about:* How to discuss testing with a healthcare provider* What “getting tested for everything” may—or may not—include* How to start the conversation with a sexual partner* What to do when someone’s response doesn’t align with your boundaries* How PrEP, PEP, barriers, treatment, and ongoing communication can become part of a broader sexual health plan* Why a test result is medical information—not a measure of anyone’s morality, desirability, or humanityI also walk through real-life conversation examples, because being told to “talk to your partner” is not always enough. Sometimes we need language that helps us begin.The message at the heart of this episode is simple:Get tested.Get information.Make a plan.Testing gives us information about our bodies. Conversation gives us information about our partners. And our reactions can reveal something about our own beliefs, boundaries, and biases.Knowledge doesn’t have to be frightening. Knowledge can create clarity. Knowledge can support choice. Knowledge can be an act of love toward ourselves and the people whose bodies we are entrusted to encounter.Episode 5, “Testing Is Half the Plan,” is available now. Listen, share it with someone you care about, and let’s keep having the conversations we were taught to avoid.🎧 Listen here: https://pod.link/6783991571 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenardcollective.substack.com

Hey Tribe,A new episode of What We Don’t Say is officially live.This one feels especially personal. I’m sharing an experience that required me to sit with vulnerability, discomfort, and some of the emotions we do not always know how—or feel safe enough—to say out loud.Deciding to share this story was not easy, but I believe there is value in allowing ourselves to be seen beyond the lessons we have learned and the polished versions of how we tell them. Sometimes the most meaningful conversations begin when we are willing to admit that an experience affected us, challenged us, or left us feeling more vulnerable than we expected.I felt this moment was worth sharing because I know I am not the only person who has navigated these feelings. My hope is that this episode creates space for you to reflect on your own experiences with a little more compassion, curiosity, and honesty.Episode 4 of What We Don’t Say is available now. I truly look forward to hearing what you think about this one.Thank you for continuing to listen, grow, and say the things we do not always say out loud with me.With love and curiosity,Jarissa E. Greenard, M.A. Ed. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenardcollective.substack.com

Hi Tribe,Episode 3 of What We Don’t Say is officially live, and I have to admit...this may be one of my favorite conversations we’ve had so far.Whether we realize it or not, we’re constantly exposed to examples of what intimacy is supposed to look like. From romantic comedies and streaming shows to social media and adult entertainment. Those portrayals aren’t necessarily good or bad; they’re simply someone else’s perspective.But how often do we stop and ask ourselves...What does good sex actually mean to me?In this episode, we explore why intimacy may be less like a rulebook and more like a recipe. One that reflects our values, our experiences, and the kind of connection we hope to create.Together, we’ll explore:* Why curiosity is often more valuable than comparison.* How the stories we consume can quietly shape our expectations.* Why the relationship we have with ourselves influences the relationships we build with others.* The freedom that comes from realizing there isn’t one universal recipe for “good sex.”I also share a book that challenged the way I think about intimacy and inspired many of the questions we explore throughout this episode.Whether you’re here to learn, reflect, unlearn, or simply become more intentional about the relationships you’re building—with yourself and with others—I hope this conversation leaves you with a question worth carrying long after the episode ends.🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts.If this episode resonates with you, I’d be so grateful if you’d share it with someone who might enjoy the conversation. Every listen, every share, and every thoughtful discussion helps this community continue to grow.As always...Keep saying what we don’t say.With gratitude,Jarissa Greenard, M.A. Ed.Host, What We Don’t Say This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenardcollective.substack.com

Hey tribe,Episode 2 of What We Don’t Say is now live and this one goes straight to the heart of something most of us have experienced but rarely talk about: the things we were never taught, and the myths we carried for years without questioning.This week’s color is coral blush, and we’re stepping into vulnerability together.Listen to Episode 2: What We Don’t Say About Sex. In this episode, we’re tackling the question: What is something about sex that people assume everyone already knows?We unpack five common myths, from pregnancy and birth control to HIV stigma and the idea that talking about sex kills the mood, and explore why silence doesn’t keep us safe. It just makes room for misinformation to feel like common knowledge.We also talk about how ideas travel: how a joke becomes a rumor, how a rumor becomes culture, and how culture shapes education and policy. And why curiosity, not shame, is where real learning begins.Here’s what we’re exploring in Episode 2:* Why “it depends” is often the most honest answer in sex ed* What birth control does (and doesn’t) protect against* The truth about HIV, undetectable status, and U=U* How misinformation spreads — and why silence lets it* Why honest conversations about sex don’t ruin the mood. They create it.Before the next episode, sit with this: What’s one question about sex that you wish someone had talked to you about?Send it to [email protected] or DM us on Instagram at @whatwedontsaypodcast. Your questions shape this podcast.Listen wherever you stream: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, and Substack.Thank you for being here. For asking. For sharing. For trusting me with your time.Until next time…keep asking, keep connecting, keep living the conversations we were often afraid to have.With care,Jarissa E. Greenard, M.A. Ed.What We Don’t Say Podcast This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenardcollective.substack.com

Episode 1 Is Live!The first episode of What We Don’t Say is officially live.Launching this podcast has felt a lot like the topic of today’s conversation: a new beginning. Exciting. Vulnerable. Uncertain. Necessary.In this debut episode, What We Don’t Say About New Beginnings, I invite you into the heart of why this podcast exists and the conversations I hope we’ll have together.We begin by exploring why I chose to launch on Juneteenth, a day that represents more than freedom granted. It represents freedom acknowledged, spoken aloud, and fully understood. I also reflect on what it means to launch during Pride Month and how my identities as a Black queer woman shape the lens through which these conversations will unfold.Throughout the episode, I share pieces of my own story, including a formative experience with sexual health education that left me wondering why so many important conversations focus on fear while leaving out discussions about pleasure, desire, relationships, identity, and emotional well-being.This episode also introduces the foundation of What We Don’t Say: creating space for honest conversations about sexuality, relationships, identity, emotional intelligence, and the parts of ourselves that often go unnamed.You’ll hear the story behind the podcast’s name, the meaning behind the logo, and a deep dive into the color philosophy that guides the show. Each color represents a different part of navigating difficult conversations, from vulnerability and compassion to reflection, transformation, and courage.Most importantly, this episode is an invitation.An invitation to be curious.An invitation to speak more honestly.An invitation to explore the questions we were never taught how to ask.I don’t promise perfect answers. I do promise thoughtful questions, compassion over judgment, and a space where complexity is welcome.Whether you’re here for healing, reflection, understanding, or simply because you’re curious, I’m grateful you’re joining me for this journey.🎙️ Listen to Episode 1: What We Don’t Say About New BeginningsAnd after you listen, I’d love to hear from you:What conversation do you wish someone had with you sooner?Let’s begin. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenardcollective.substack.com

What We Don't Say is a podcast about the conversations we avoid, the feelings we struggle to name, and the stories that shape us in silence.Through honest discussions about identity, sexuality, relationships, emotional intelligence, and personal growth, we explore the unspoken experiences that influence how we see ourselves and connect with others.Each episode invites listeners to examine what has been left unsaid—whether it's a question about sex, a lesson we were never taught, a truth we've been afraid to voice, or an emotion we've never had the language to express.Because sometimes the most important conversations are the ones we've never had out loud.What We Don't Say helps turn awareness into understanding, and understanding into connection. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenardcollective.substack.com