What's Your Condition?
by What's Your Condition?
What’s Your Condition is an internet review show where nothing is answered and no one learns anything. It is hosted by Harland Spinks, Kyle Luck, and Jon Carr, three friends exploring a surreal digital world by deconstructing the absurd fringes of the internet's overlooked underbelly as an excuse to spend time together.
Episodes
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20,000 Leagues Under the Internet
Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where nothing is answered and no one learns anything. Three alleged friends have culled some unusual classifieds, stories, reviews, trivia, and trends from the internet as an excuse to spend time together. Twitter -...
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Ep.51 – Katana Candle
{body} Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where nothing is answered and no one learns anything. Three alleged friends have culled some unusual classifieds, stories, reviews, trivia, and trends from the internet as an excuse to spend time together. Twitter…
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Ep.50 – Real Vampires
Our main story is about real vampires. A fun group of deluded folks who think they're real vampires and all other vampires are poseurs. They'd like to remind everyone that yogurt is not a substitute for blood. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where...
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Ep.49 – Chicken Cheese
We’ve got another new segment! 1,000 Leagues Under the Internet where Kyle has researched a bizarre niche community that we dissect. Harland Tried to rationalize chicken cheese and Jon has some reviews that come out swinging. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review...
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Ep.48 – Wild Burrito
Where would Voldemort's mustache begin and end? Harland did some of his own Craigslist foraging and has discovered another sellers trend, but you gotta take 'em all! Jon reads some reviews written by just the worst misogynists and armchair experts who think they could survive the wilderness…
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Ep.47 – Horse Hotel
Sorry for the low quality this week. We had some technical issues. Harland has some technical issues. Kyle was inspired by our previous hypothetical scenario that he wrote his own. Jon dredges up missed connections with a cool grandpa looking for love during a robbery. We riff for WAY too long on...
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Ep.46 – Medium Penis
We have got to stop discussing our body hair on the show. Harland reads probably the most bizarre classified ad ever; Asshole Queen’s Burp in a Bag. Jon is NOT camping at Clear Lake because it’s just abandoned businesses and dirt roads and might be home to a serial murderer. Kyle trues to read…
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Ep.45 – Bear Cop
America's gang of dads on bikes are running wild! Harland doesn't know how to categorize a new entry into the "What if?" series with a knightly hypothetical scenario written by a mad man. Jon's Review Review posits an alternative to the Wizard of Oz. Kyle is forced to read TIFU in a Boston(?)...
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Ep.44 – Dirty Pops
This might be a re-run. We're not sure. Everything is blurring together. Harland has some recurring ads that shouldn't be so common. We roll the dice on some TIFU's. Literally. Kyle pulls out a D20 to help us choose. And it went horribly wrong. Jon reads a review about an absolute monster who…
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Ep.43 – Frasier Fest
Our tolerance for horrible images and stories is unparalleled as the phrase "corn back rattler" has no impact on any of us. Harland goes in on Fraiser fans and people who don't wear underwear under their pants. Jon brings back dramatic readings with a phenomenal new superhero origin story. Kyle...
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Ep.42 – Unusual Dogs
Do you want a strange new pet? How about a lobster? Or maybe a murderous fish? Harland shares listings with all that and more. Jon reviews his favorite tasty drink reviews until a certain macho man breaks down his door to take over. Kyle invites an old friend on to the show to run some poetry by...
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Ep.41 – Fire Puncher
Would you like crimalized onions on that? Kyle tells a story about a man who ruins a Girl Scouts Tripp’s shoes, Harland asks if you can punch out a car fire, and Jon absolutely ruins the phrase “live, laugh, love”. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where...
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Ep.40 – Bird Bar
We're 40! And boy is there nothing special about it except our new money making venture, Bird Bar Cockatiel Lounge! Shirts coming soon. The Black Light is back and we're talking grilled cheese again. The Review Review is wall-to-wall five stars. BunGeeZus is the clear winner of What Are Ya…
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Ep.39 – Saltwater Gorilla
Introducing The Night Showerer and his anthropomorphic claw foot tub, Wet Boy. We guess. Our sandwich advice segment is a little different as Harland was quite disappointed in a certain Bon Appetit how-to video that stirred up some debate. Jon does a deep dive into the Tarantino-verse with some...
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Ep.38 – Fartina Jam
We give you an inside look at how we sync our remote recordings and what the intro is actually all about. Harland has some relatively tame listings with the exclusion of the prime Elvis farts. We revisit Skweezy Jibbs' nuggets of wisdom with Kyle. Jon has a very exciting, four part review for The...
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Ep.37 – Lobster Accountant
We start off with more sandwich advice and some unnecessary Chip Blockman back story. According to the Appellate Court of Quebec, Rock Paper Scissors is a game of skill. Sqweezy Jibbs is a saint and will be returning in future episodes. Harland has a listing so visually shocking we stammer…
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Ep.36 – Beef Acts
Come for us James Cameron! We're initiating a feud based on all the horror stories we've learned from At The Movies With Jon and we've got a great piece of felony trivia this episode. Our friends at Grocery Gamblers submitted a fun listing for What Are Ya Sellin'. Kyle reads a story by a young…
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Ep.35 – Spider Law
Getting back to our roots a little, we try to answer a couple of questions in regards to spiders law and sandwich construction. Harland takes a hard stance on making whoopee in the shower, Jon has a perfect analogy for what it feels like to sext a parent, and Kyle invites Chip back to the studio...
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Green Buds and Hash (4/20 Special)
A very special reading of Green Eggs & Hash in celebration of Weed Christmas, 4/20. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where nothing is answered and no one learns anything. Three friends explore a surreal digital world by deconstructing the absurd fringes...
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Ep.34 – Bahookie Slap
We just can not contain ourselves this week. Harland thinks he needs a lawyer because he's seen a lot of crime movies and is worried about perjuring himself, Jon describes probably the worst way to use a kitchen utensil in The Review Review, and Kyle seems uncomfortably okay with a certain hair...
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Ep.33 – Slightly Spicy
I'm not okay, you're not okay. We've got Minions. We've got Tiger King. We've got OK Soda, and bone wasps. Jon debuts another fun guessing game revolving around Love Island. Harland takes us back to a simpler, more cynical time in American marketing history; 1993. Kyle shares the experience of a...
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Ep.32 – Quarantine Fifteen
We're still in quarantine and it's all getting to us. Nothing seems to phase any of us any longer. Not mummified cats, not dog butt glands, not mega penguins. We are unshaken by the thought of owl eye tubes. We don't flinch at the mention of chlorine gas saunas. We are broken and just want to…
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Ep.31 – Lavender Propaganda
We open with a breast milk party in a tent and as you can probably guess, it just gets weirder from there. Kyle adds an addendum to "2020: Do More Crime", Harland gives some advice to an up and coming tiny violinist, Jon forces us to play another game that tortures his guests. Welcome to another...
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Ep.30 – Spicy Bread
Quarantine time! We ask you bare with us as we overcome the learning curve of recording remotely. Harland wants to assure everyone out there we'll make it through these trying times, Jon recollects that time he was transported to Mars thanks to weed, and Kyle wants to piss his way out of a serial...
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Ep.29 – Hard Falcon
Banana Phone and a dragon, echidna genitals, and a weather rock. Just another typical episode of What’s Your Condition? Play along with us at home as Jon debuts a new movie game, get ready to learn about some awful product designs in another installment of No One Asked For This, and brace…
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Ep.28 – Crackhead Pat
We have a special guest calling in this week to test out some poetry he’s been working on. We’re not sure it’s totally legit, though. Harland shares several animal based ads that you’re just gonna hate, Jon digs into the Mandela Effect with The Movie That Doesn’t Exist, and Kyle, I mean Chip...
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Ep.27 – Hippity Hump
The barber shop quartet Green Eggs and Hash graces us with their presence in the studio today to help us write a little weed ditty. Harland really beefs a segment, a debate on the biblical logistics of Neverland unfolds, and we learn you shouldn't stand up too fast while smoking weed in a…
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Ep.26 – Banana Heavy
How sensual do your fruits sound? Harland has a soundboard malfunction, Kyle cracks a ‘naner with the boys, and we drill down even further into Jon’s cute animal weakness. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where nothing is answered and no one learns...
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Ep.25 – Bradley Goober
Love is all around and the red love goo is flowing. We’ve got a wide spread of products from What Are Ya Sellin’ for that special someone in your life, a cat attempts to become a home owner, and we review an historical circus nightmare machine disguised as a medical apparatus designed by a baby...
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Ep.24 – Jonny Fightnoodle
The Big Match happened and boy was it exciting! Boys became men, a Rabbi performed a bris on a keg, and a petition was started to rename The Cowboys to The Cattlemen. We discuss how long it would take to kick a deer to death, Kyle continues his role as resident crime-man, and the prestige of weed...
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Ep.23 – Bird Exorcist
On a special Goldfella episode, Chip has invited us to pre-pre-Oscars red carpet and our new man on the street, Antonio Russo, is making his way through a cavalcade of C-list celebrities on a strip mall red carpet. Harland is now an Esquire, Jon doles out some intriguing award show conspiracies,...
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Ep.22 – Skin House
We all had a rough sleep before recording this delirious, dream-like episode. But we power through for you, the fans. Join us on a buck wild journey with a cowardly duck, the dog from 300, and a Rastafarian whale. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where...
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Ep.21 – Meat Noodle
It's a new year, new us which means it's time to get motivated! We're living. We're laughing. We're loving. Bradley Cooper get's murdered on the Ellen Show, Popeye's reigns supreme, tales of hijinks from the past are relived. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review...
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Ep.20 – Margarita Jones
We’re cracking down on Christmas and brushing up on our pagan conjuration spells. Jon brings a salty treat, Kyle dub-steps into the DJ booth, and Harland warns against anti-aging cosmeceuticals. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where nothing is answered...
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Ep.19 – Tony Ramp
Myostatin is a protein produced and released by myocytes that acts on muscle cells' autocrine function to inhibit muscle cell growth and differentiation and boy do we bring it up a bunch. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where nothing is answered and no...
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Ep.18 – Manly Butterflies
How many obscure references can you guess? We’re on a mission to alienate each other with niche video game, literature, and movie knowledge. Harland shares more nasty classifieds, Jon shares Joey Fish details, and Kyle slips into the shadow dimension for the weekly news. Welcome to another…
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Ep.17 – Burg E.R.
In a needlessly confrontational episode full of insults, threats, and a hefty amount of attitude hurled at one another, we determine Jon’s low blood sugar, Harland’s chronic food coma, and Kyle’s low hp are the causes. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show...
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Ep.16 – Underwear Fella
It’s a wet one in which we fail at celebrity impressions (again) while analyzing other celebrities' mouths. Kyle starts us off with some animal facts, Jon gets mad at his own segment, and Harland demonstrates his bedroom screams. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet...
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Ep.15 – Rooster Cage
We’re getting ready for a cozy holiday season by giving ourselves fanciful nicknames and sharing inappropriate recipes. We find out about Kyle's optimistic toilet time, Harland raises awareness for an equine epidemic, and Jon’s pride is tested. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition,...
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Ep.14 – Lambchop Broccolibody
Do you dream of a world filled with mutated vegetable men, horrific flying death machines, lazy superheroes, and aerial felines? Then you’ve come to the right place. A place where no question or idea is too weird. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where...
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Ep.13 – Lipstick Boulevard
What are doing? How do we overcome negative thoughts? Will Kyle finally buy a gym membership? Or will the the fat angries prevail? Harland gives an impromptu history lesson on the Saddam Hussein funded mega gun and Jon shares a study on popemobile pizza rats. Welcome to another episode of What’s...
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Ep.12 – Toilet Maniac
We continue to find new and strange sources of inspiration from totally wrong trivia about alcoholism and public figures, some useless inventions and trends in toilet tech that will horrify you, and some bed time thoughts that will keep you up at night. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your...
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Ep.11 – Spooktober Special 2019
Muahaha! Welcome boys and ghouls to the Halloween Specter-tacular! We’ve summoned a great darkness from the depths of hell to bring you stories of haunted appliances and tales of horrible green ghosts and real life stalkers that will make your blood curdle. Welcome to another episode of What’s…
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Ep.10 – Bean Whale
Hey BABYYY! We might need a new co-host whose car doesn’t smell like egg. We explore the anatomy of butt cracks and mattresses, which foods animals don’t like, what that famous mystery team is, and shill to all the fast food conglomerates. Don’t forget your outdoor bong, cause we’re climbing the...
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Ep.9 – Unnatural Causes
We’re planning for the future in episode 9, Unnatural Causes. Kyle may or may not be a nihilist and drops some RPG strategy knowledge. Harland’s patience runs thin when decisions aren’t made and fails at his one job. Jon has a case of white coat syndrome that he copes with in true capitalist...
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Ep.8 – Delicious Justice
The weather in the studio is hot! We’re all mad about microclimates, worried about how our legs look, and advocate against punching someone, like, anywhere. Jon does some amazing accents, Harland is tone deaf, and Kyle takes the news to another level. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your...
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Ep.7 – Seismic Shrimp
The show evolves. New themes emerge, old ones are revisited. Specifically animal facts and food. Although, we could have just been hungry. Harland challenges ET, Jon struggles with portion control, Kyle reads the “news”, we all try our hand at Goldblum impressions. Welcome to another episode of...
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Ep.6 – President Vampiro
More ghosts! More high-deas! More portmanteaus! More animal facts! Jon feels terrible, Kyle giggles a bunch and Harland is a liar. We explore the Sunshine Law, serenity, funeral plans, and James Bond. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where nothing is...
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Ep.5 – Horsepocalypse
The end is neigh! Grab your bug out bag and head to the stables! The horses have evolved and it’s more terrifying than you could have imagined. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet review show where nothing is answered and no one learns anything. Three friends explore…
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Ep.4 – Dank Legend
Buckle up and grab an ice cold NOS energy drink (not a sponsor), in this episode Harland and Satan turn out to be bros, Jon’s mom can bake a helluva pie, Kyle doesn’t have an opinion, and a fungus is turning ants into zombies. Welcome to another episode of What’s Your Condition, an internet…
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About this show
What’s Your Condition is an internet review show where nothing is answered and no one learns anything. It is hosted by Harland Spinks, Kyle Luck, and Jon Carr, three friends exploring a surreal digital world by deconstructing the absurd fringes of the internet's overlooked underbelly as an excuse to spend time together.
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What's Your Condition?