When Chemo is the New Black

I discuss ways in which more honesty about treatment can increase hope, decrease the risk of medically induced PTSD, and increase patient trust in treating doctors. I also look at some of the ways to increase honesty in treatment if this is currently lacking.

Planning to get a tummy scar that looks like you wrestle with sharks? This episode looks at how to deal with the Mother of All Surgeries, from a practical and emotional standpoint. And for bragging rights afterwards ;)

If you are dealing with cancer, the chances are that you already know how to survive bad news. This episode talks through the phases of possible reactions that can come from getting bad news, and some of the ways to make this process easier, faster, and hopefully have less of a difficult longer term impact. 

Cancer will shake up your relationships, some will get stronger, others may be weaker or disappear, it's a good idea to take none of the shenanigans that can occur personally. This episode looks at some of the ways your relationships can change, warning signs for exploitative or unhelpful relationships, and how to protect yourself from toxicity and strengthen positive influences while maintaining yourself as a social being.

How to eat for your current gut functioning, and still enjoy yourself. Also what to do when something goes wrong digestively speaking...(as well as contacting a dr and cancer-specialised nutritionist asap). 

This episode is at the request of a lovely friend, who said, basically, if we feel like shit why shouldn't we be allowed to look like shit? Why is there so much pressure from everyone to keep looking 'normal'?  If ever there was a time to relax the beauty standards for women, I would have thought that chemo and cancer treatment was probably it.  It does seem like a lot of the well-meant messaging about 'taking care of yourself during chemo' seems to be about how to keep looking normal (despite undergoing some pretty intensive treatment).  There's also, hopefully, some emphasis on maintaining the functionality of skin and nails. The grief people feel when their visual selves change drastically during cancer treatment could be dealt with more constructively. By this I mean, why not take it as an opportunity to reinvent our sense of selves, to invest in a sense of self that isn't about our visual selves, and to become stronger from this. Plus, it's the ideal moment to thoughtfully think about how much energy you want to invest in your appearances, in which ways, and under what circumstances.  Continuing to try and look 'normal' works for a minority of cancer patients, (and more power to these people, keep it up!), but for a lot of other people it sets them up for angst, shame, failure, a massive waste of energy and time, and at the extreme end, social isolation and maybe some deeply unconvincingly drawn on eyebrows. Why don't we make eyebrow-less moments more socially acceptable in the public space? This is the ideal time to challenge the beauty myth and reclaim our power and worth as human beings, rather than just our surface appearances.  This episode looks at how to position yourself psychologically with regards to all of this in a way that suits you, to let yourself feel the grief linked to visual changes when it comes, but then to take the opportunity to reinvent, to find any tiny positive point in any of the weird body fluctuations that you are going through, and to try and have fun with that, rather than just trying to look 'normal' and how you used to.  It also seeks to normalise why I can't wear a wig and have a reasonable conversation at the same time, and the perspective that maybe not looking 'normal' is a useful social intervention that might address the underlying issue of too strongly identifying with a body subject to constant physical change, a body which everyone else seems to think they have the right to comment on, still, at my age and with a hypothetically incurable cancer and sometimes green skin tone.  At the very least, please take this as your invitation to just relax a bit more while dealing with all of the weird and wonderful changes that come with cancer shenanigans and to make other peoples' reactions about them, and not your problem to have to manage away. Unless it suits you to 'pass', and then thinking about when and why, and getting the right dress up gear is useful for you. My perspective is that it's useful for it to be a conscious choice to do this when it suits, and in a way that suits you, rather than an implicitly assumed and socially policed obligation to try and look 'normal'. 

As a way of convincingly distracting myself from my own scanxiety, this episode talks through some ideas about what to do about the anxiety that can happen leading into a follow-up scan after finishing front line treatment.   

This episode talks through what the major researchers, patients, and myself think are signs of a good doctor.  I also talk through some practical advice (with my psychologist's hat on) on how to try and make appointments more effective for communication if, like me, you have difficulty thinking straight or having a reasonable discussion with a doctor when you are seriously ill, very stressed, or on heavy painkillers.

Insomnia can be a massive challenge for anyone, but is a particularly difficult and common aspect of dealing with cancer and going through treatment. There are many things that can cause this, for example,  strong emotions, worry, and the cancer itself can cause difficulties sleeping due to pain, being uncomfortable, and changes in body functions that make sleep harder. 'Dexamethazoning', the sleepless high after chemo plus steroids, is so much of a thing that it has it's own term :) This episode talks about what to do about all of this if you find yourself regularly awake at the wrong time, using common psychology techniques for insomnia (including sleep hygiene), also a rundown on some potentially useful herbs,  some short term medication if its absolutely necessary (and how to use this wisely instead of getting addicted). 

This episode looks at ways to use your mind to protect your emotional energy and facilitate your physical and emotional well being.  It contains some ideas for different types of meditations, ways of connecting with yourself and others and mental exercises to improve your health as much as you can.  These include; - guided meditational exercises developed by Dr Simonton (psychologist) - ways in which the use of intuition has been found to be useful in research into Radical Remission by Dr Kelly Turner - the Buddhist meditation technique called 'loving kindness' - links to the research into how these emotional and mental states can be beneficial for emotional and physical resiliency, as well as the immune system - the observation that connecting to a sense of inner calmness or higher power can have a beneficial emotional impact Please note that this episode does not encourage anyone to 'skip' treatment or put any pressure on anyone to 'heal themselves' or 'only feel positive emotions', all of those perspectives seem to be pretty hard on the person dealing with cancer and ultimately unhelpful and blaming. 

How not to despair is one of the major challenges for anyone dealing with a body that is temporary and will one day die. If you think about it, we are all in this boat. This episode talks about how to dis-identify from your physical body and work on identifying with a sense of self and existence in the world that is not just your physical form. This is a major way to reduce your suffering when facing ongoing changes to your physical form and functioning. Most of the major world religions and anyone a little bit spiritual are already well ahead of me on this, so please be patient. I've recorded this episode because I think it's useful to name this process of dis-identification with the physical form directly, to talk about how serious illness can actually encourage this process, and to talk about why it's useful. It's one of the gifts of dealing with a serious illness. Not that anyone would choose to be in this situation, but... may as well take the most useful aspects from the experience and share them. 

Nous ressentons tous du chagrin à différents degrés, il est impossible d’être humain sans faire l’expérience de la perte (perdre mes clés, mes cheveux, et peut-être ma raison), et le deuil est un processus naturel et inévitable. La manière dont nous vivons notre deuil lorsqu'il s'agit de cancer est donc vraiment importante. Il existe différentes étapes et tâches pour traverser le deuil, selon le chercheur ou le modèle auquel on se réfère. Les réactions de deuil varient selon les moments. Beaucoup de personnes confrontées à une maladie grave éprouvent également un deuil anticipé pour des pertes qui n'ont pas encore eu lieu. Si vous êtes gravement malade, il est probable que les personnes qui vous sont les plus proches ressentent également ce deuil anticipé ; c’est un impact naturel lié à la gestion d’une maladie grave. Il est utile de savoir à quoi cela ressemble et d’avoir des moyens de s’assurer que cela n’affecte pas négativement vos relations. Je pense que je vais commencer à anticiper le deuil de ce cancer... S’il vous plaît, soyez doux les uns envers les autres.

Ne paniquez pas (sauf si paniquer est utile) Le soleil explosera dans environ 3,5 milliards d'années, mais tout ce qui se passe d'ici là reste probablement entre nos mains. Cet épisode examine notre réaction face à des périodes de stress extrême et comment gérer ces réactions de manière créative et constructive. Il inclu les techniques psychologiques et pratiques pour gérer mieux dans les situations du crise.  Quand paniquer et quand ne pas paniquer Que faire si vous paniquez Comment amener les autres à paniquer quand vous en avez besoin

Cet épisode explore les nombreuses formes que la force peut prendre. Il examine également comment développer davantage de force afin de trouver des moyens de traverser des situations difficiles ou (apparemment) impossibles La force sous toutes ses formes Force physique  Force émotionnelle  Force mentale  Force spirituelle  Force relationnelle  La curiosité Le sentiment que la vie a toujours un sens, malgré tout

Cet épisode explore comment trouver de l’espoir face à une maladie dont les chances de survie à long terme sont aussi rares que celles de survivre à une attaque menée par une meute de crocodiles sauvages. Si tant est que les crocodiles chassaient en meute… et remercions le ciel qu’ils ne le fassent pas (sauf qu'en Australie ;)... 1. Trouver un plan de traitement efficace rapidement L’importance du diagnostic précis : Identifiez la meilleure équipe médicale possible. N’ayez pas peur de demander un deuxième avis. Il faut pouvoir être a l'aise avec vos medicins.  Recherche proactive : Explorez les options disponibles (traitements classiques, essais cliniques, soins complémentaires) en collaboration avec des diverses spécialistes fiables. Soyez votre propre défenseur : Posez des questions, demandez des explications et participez activement aux décisions de votre traitement et dans votre vie, le plus que possible. Prenez la decision de choisir l'espoir, comme un choix radical, ce qui peut donner une forme de résistance, de courage et d’agentivité, en particulier face à des obstacles au premiere vue peut-être écrasants.

This episode looks at how to deal with the fear that happens to nearly all cancer survivors, the fear of recurrence. We talk through some ideas about how to tackle this fear so that it can be a motivator for useful personal growth, and not something that detracts from your quality of life.

What is being immunocompromised? This episode looks at how to manage this common, but fluctuating effect of chemo and other cancer treatments, without having to live the life of a recluse, unless that's actually your thing!

Christmas and other major holidays can be an intense emotional time, due to past and current situations, grief or anger over past or future losses, performance expectations, and the feeling that it has to be perfect. This podcast is an invitation to an imperfect Christmas, but making sure that is one that suits you and adds to your life, rather than being overwhelming or somehow emotionally or financially damaging.

For the lucky 13 th episode I decided to ask the question online about what were some fun things that people had done during chemo. I was blown away by the replies. Skydiving, cruises, travelling to other countries, learning new crafts, reconnecting with old friends, hiking around the Grand Canyon and other feats of physical endurance really show that people can do anything during chemo if they have the right context.  This episode celebrates the many many suggestions that people  had for what to do during chemo infusions, and what to during the chemo season. We also discuss looking at ideas for how to expand your own ideas for what you want to do with your precious time, with the overall goal of activating playfulness, joy, and increasing social connections. 

We are all grieving to some degree, it's impossible to be human and not experience loss (losing my keys, my hair, and maybe my mind), and grief is a natural and unavoidable process. So how we grieve when dealing with cancer is really important. There are different stages and tasks for working through grief, depending on which researcher and model you look at. Grief reactions look different at different points in time.  A lot of people facing serious illness also have anticipatory grief for losses which haven't yet occurred. If you're seriously ill then it's likely that the people you are closest to will also be dealign with anticipatory grief, this is a natural impact of dealing with serious illness. It's useful to know what this looks like and have some ways to make sure it doesn't negatively affect your relationships.  I think I'm going to start anticipatorily grieving the loss of this cancer... Please be gentle with each other. 

When dealing with a serious illness managing other peoples' expectations shouldn't really be your problem, but, well, yadda yadda yadda. Catching cancer is a great time to take stock of your own limits (as this will happen regardless), take stock of your relationships, and to figure out where the healthy boundaries are that will work for you right now. Practical advice on how to take steps to put some useful limits in place, so as to maintain better relationships and a more realistic and compassionate environment for healing.

This episode looks at the many forms that strength can take. It also looks at how to develop more strength so as to find ways through difficult or (apparently) impossible situations. In reality, there are so many things we can do to improve our sense of strength.  Please note that this episode was recorded just after chemo, so it's a little breathless, but recording it certainly gave me more strength! 

This episode is brought to you by the ministry for silly walks, interpretative dance, and loads of dark chocolate.  Cancer, serious illness, and treatments can be traumatic for the person experiencing it as well as for those around them. But there are many things you can do to try to lessen the impact of these moments on your emotional wellbeing. We look at techniques to use in the moment, and after a potentially traumatic event.  Whether it's handling acute stress or avoiding long-term post-traumatic effects, this episode offers insights and practical advice for both patients and those who care about them.

It is very normal to wonder if treatment is working, and sometimes it can be hard to tell.  This episode looks at signs that chemotherapy is working, and how to tell in the unlikely situation that is might not be.  We also talk briefly about how to harness the natural anxiety about treatment in such a way as to facilitate treatment hopefully working better. 

This an episode for all those who like to wander, but find themselves temporarily stuck due to pesky cancer treatment. We discuss some ideas about why travelling might or might not be. good idea, how to get travel insurance, and some things to assess as part of feasibility planning.  Please remember though, if you are immunocompromised or in active cancer treatment, it's a smart idea to wear a mask during, and wash your hands after using any communal transport option. 

It can be very overwhelming telling anyone about a cancer diagnosis, particularly those who are closest to you. This episode looks at some ways to make this process easier, as well as the argument for letting people know so that they can help you (or get out of your way). 

Becoming bionic aka getting an implantable chamber or catheter. I think Nietzsche had it right. You’ve got to learn to love your fate, otherwise it will just make you bitter and quite possibly very boring. Getting a port is anything but boring, I share the story of getting the port implanted, and a little bit about what it's like to be the proud owner of a port.   

Preparing to kick cancer's means usually preparing for chemo - unless you have supernatural self-healing powers, in which case please contact me as I probably have a job for you... This episode looks at what to do before chemo, on the day of chemo, and the best environment for recovering from chemo, so that you can get organised in advance. We talk about how to organise on a practical and social support level, so as to get through chemo in the best possible shape. 

Episode 3: Improving Your Health I’m so glad you are all still alive! This is brilliant! Now lets talk about what you can do to try and stay this way.  There’s a lot you can do: we will have a look at the research and books by Dr O Simonton (psychologist), the research into the factors for radical remission for incurable cancer patients by Dr Kelly Turner, and some useful buddhist thinking on life and death. 

Episode 2: Don’t Panic (Unless Panicking is Useful) The sun is going to explode in about 3.5 billion years, but anything that happens between now and then is still probably up for grabs. This episode looks at our reaction to times of extreme stress, and how to manage these reactions creatively and constructively. When to panic and when not to.  What to do if you are panicking. How to get people to panic when you need them to.

This episode looks at finding hope when dealing with illness that has the same long term survival odds as being savaged by a pack of wild crocodiles. If crocodiles actually hunted in packs, and thank God that they don't. So based on that metaphor we will probably all survive, particularly with the new research and treatments coming through. This episode talks about; Deciding to hope Finding a treatment plan  Perspective Grief  Some practical exercises to help keep you in better physical and emotional state