Where You Been, Loca?

New Moon, Epilogue: Treaty - Bella is grounded but is allowed visiting hours with Edward. All is well enough in Bella's world until Jacob throws her under the bus - or the motorcycle in this case. A meeting in the woods calls to attention to the Treaty, the Cullens are not to bite any human. This puts a wrench in Bella's plan but that's only one of her many concerns as New Moon comes to a close. We will be back January (or February) of 2024 to crack into Eclipse. See you all then! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 24: Vote - It's up to the Cullens to decide the fate of our dearest, Bella. Will she become one of them or will she return to Italy alone to face the Volturi? Edward agrees to the deed himself under one condition, they seal their fate in the sacrament of marriage. Good luck running that by Charlie! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 23: The Truth - Bella thinks she's dead or dreaming. Edward spends the entire chapter trying to convince her otherwise. Edward apologizes for leaving her, Bella wants to be a vampire. It's the same old song and dance. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 22: Flight - It's a silent flight home back to Forks, weather in the arrival destination is expected to be cloudy with a chance of kisses. Naturally, Charlie is furious with Bella but Edward intervenes, insisting he give Bella a chance to rest. That's it. Literally nothing else happens. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 21: Verdict - Beller is alive!! And Aro is thrilled! He is delighted by the three of them: Alice, Edward and Bella, that he is eager to have them join the Volturi. All three respectfully decline and are only free to go if the Cullen's make sure to turn Bella into one of them. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 20: Volterra - Alice was drivin' the getaway car, they were flyin' , but they'd never get far... Alice and Bella weave their way through Volterra int their stolen Porsche. When they can't go any further, Bella must finish this rescue mission by foot. As the clock tolled and tolled and tolled again, Bella makes it to Edward just in time to dave him. But... they're not out of the woods yet.. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 19: Race - Bella and Alice are headed for Italy. Bella endures two long plane rides with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company while Alice sits next to her in a drawn out, trance like state, watching Edward's decisions. Upon their arrival, they steal a Porche and race off to stop Edward. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 18: The Funeral - Jacob can no longer protect Bella on her land, now that the Cullen's are back in town. Alice breaks the news that Edward thinks Bella is dead and he's going to the Volturi to end his existence. In true Bella fashion, she abandons Charlie with nothing but a note to take off for Italy with Alice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 17: Visitor - It's the return of Alice! Bella can't stop talking about drowning. We find out what the Cullen's have been up to and Charlie tells Alice just how bad things were when they left. Bella skips out on Harry's funeral and another mystery knocks at the door. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6New Moon, Chapter 16: Paris - Jacob rescues Bella from the icy waters and tragedy strikes the Clearwaters. Bella has an epiphany after her mind wanders through the story of Romeo & Juliet. She comes to terms with her feelings for Jacob and her stupidity in the stunts she's been pulling lately. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 15: Pressure - Bella is spending her days alone on the reservation while Jacob and the LPG narrow their hunt on Victoria. Bella is desperate for TVoE and decides to take matters into her own hands. A storm is brewing and Bella goes off the deep end. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 14: Family - The LPG is pissed that Jacob found a way around Sam's gag order. Paul loses his temper and Jacob puts him in his place. Bella is invited back to the wolf girl's house to discuss strategy for picking off Victoria. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 13: Killer - Bella has figured out the secret but she is appalled that the LPG might be the ones behind all the missing hikers. She needs to hear the truth from Jacob. Turns out the truth is actually worse, it's not the wolves killing the hikers, it's Victoria! This sounds like a job for the LPG do gooders! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 12: Intruder - Spoiler alert, the intruder at Bella's window is Jacob! He's here to apologize for his behavior earlier and wants to help Bella figure out his secret. He reminds her of the tribal stories and legends he told her last year on the beach. After yet another nightmare, Bella is bale to put the pieces together. Now she faces a moral dilemma of supporting her best friend despite his new lifestyle, not to mention the hunting party in the woods. Charlie is hunting the wolves, the wolves are hunting Victoria, and Victoria is hunting Bella while taking out innocent hikers along the way. Messy, messy, messy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 11: Cult - Bella has had enough of Billy's games and decides to take matters into her own hands. Jacob ends the situationship between him and Bella. Billy sticks his nose in the middle of things as per usual and really puts himself at odds with his bestie, Charlie. Bella begins to slip into depression again and as if her nightmares weren't bad enough already, there's a spooky scratching at her windows. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 10: The Meadow - Jacob's feeling better and he has moved on to bigger and better things, leaving Bella to her own devices. To distract herself from this new abandonment, she goes off in search of the meadow alone. Her alone time and despair are interrupted by a visitor, then another, and another... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 9: Third Wheel - He's hot, and she's cold; she goes around like she knows, who he is, but she don't... Happy Valentine's Day, Loca! Bella tries to organize a group movie date with Jacob, Quil, and the cafeteria crowd. This plan backfires and she ends up on an awkward throuple date with Jacob and Mike. The evening is cut short thanks to the flu circulating through the cafeteria crowd, but maybe there's more to it than just the flu. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 8: Adrenaline - It's ride time and Bella is absolutely loving the danger and thrill of it. Hallucinations of Edward are demanding she stop this nonsense. In this distraction, Bella realizes she doesn't know how to turn the bike and forgets how to stop. The day ends with a quick stop in the ER. Bella has some shaky excuses and a new plan for spending time with Jacob. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 7: Repetition - After one single day of normal behavior for Bella, Mike strikes and asks her out on a date. Little does Mike know, he's got new competition. Bella has plans with the most talented and wonderful person she knows, Jacob. The bikes are ready and it's time to ride! But not before Bella gets a new wild inspiration for recklessness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 6: Friends - Billy and Jacob host Bella, Charlie and the Clearwaters for dinner under the stars in the backyard. Bella finds herself actually enjoying the evening. Her nightmares subside for now and to everybody's surprise, she even finds herself piping up at the lunch table. Angela and Mike are thrilled to have Bella back, Jess and Lauren though, not so much. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 5: Cheater - Bella left work dazed with despair. After driving around aimlessly, kismet happens. She finds some beat up, run down motorcycles free for trash picking. She figured this was the perfect revenge against Edward’s broken promise and Jacob, a gift from the gods, agrees to help her get them running again. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 4: Waking Up - Bella said, "It's me, hi. I'm the problem, it's me." Charlie is sick of her shit and ready to ship her off to Florida to live with Renee. Bella couldn't possibly leave Forks though, it's the only place she's ever known Edward to exist. To prove that she's well enough to stay in Forks, Bella invites Jessica for a girls night out in Port Angeles. They say bad things happen in Philadelphia, but we disagree, bad things happen in Port Angeles. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 3: The End - I am he, as you are he, as you are me and we are all together... Bella is the Walrus. Bella is down in the dumps after Edward and his family decide to leave Forks for good. A search party is formed to find the missing Bella. Sam Uley finds Bella taking a quick nap in the throws of the forest floor and carries her back to Charlie's. Is Bella hurt? Who's to say. She spirals into a deep, four month long depression. Girlie is sad, sad. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 2: Stitches - Clean up on aisle five. Bella has just been tossed like the rag doll she is and zaddy Carlisle is here to save the day. After the birthday chaos, Edward cleans up with a birthday gift that turns Bella's frown upside down. We end with a kiss goodbye, is it thee kiss goodbye? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon, Chapter 1: Party - Summer is over. Bella and Edward head back to Forks High School where they are no longer the center of attention. Today is Bella’s 18th birthday, but Bella doesn't see a cause to celebrate. The Cullen’s insist on throwing Bella a birthday party that ends in bloody chaos. TRIGGER WARNING: self harm and suicide Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Epilogue - Alice treats Bella like her own personal barbie doll and sends her off to prom with Edward. The Cullens show off on the dance floor and Jacob crashes the party with a warning from Billy. Will their love for each other all be enough for forever? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 24: An Impasse - Bella wakes in a hospital after a supposed fall down two flights of stairs and through a hotel window. Renee is there to bring her back to their new home in Jacksonville, Florida. Renee has her eye on Edward and Bella doesn't plan on leaving Forks anytime soon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 23: The Angel - Bella hears the voice of an angel before the horrific burning sensation in her hand washes over her. Carlisle goes to work on the broken Bella while Edward makes an impossible choice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 22: Hide-And-Seek - Nature is calling and Bella makes her grand escape from Alice and Jasper. Racing through the city she once considered home, she follows James' instructions that lead her to meet him at her childhood ballet studio. James gives a classic villain's monologue and toys with Bella before brutally attacking her. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 21: Phone Call - Alice gets a clearer vision of the VCR room and Jasper tries to continue manipulating Bella's emotions. Bella gets an uncharacteristically strange call from Renee and begins planning her next move without the Cullens. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 20: Impatience - Bella, Alice and Jasper have some quality alone time hiding out in a hotel room together. Alice gets a vision of James changing course to head for an old dance studio and another separate but familiar room.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 19: Goodbyes - Bella gives an Oscar winning performance to fake breaking up with Edward. She breaks Charlie's heart when she repeats the very words her mother used on him when she too was leaving Forks. With James lurking in the shadows, Bella storms off into the night to meet with the Cullens and put their escape plan into action. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 18: The Hunt - What starts out as friendly small talk among vampires quickly turns into a deadly game of cat and mouse, or in this instance, vampire and human. James will stop at nothing to make a meal out of Bella. The Cullens scramble to get Bella to safety, Bella leading the initiative with a bright idea of her own.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 17: The Game - A chapter full of surprise visits. Jacob and Billy stop by the Swan residence. Billy has some subtle threats for Bella in regards to her budding relationship with Edward. Bella introduces Edward to Charlie in a riveting exchange of three sentences. The Cullens enjoy a nice game of America’s favorite pastime before being rudely interrupted by a few nomads.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 16: Carlisle - Edward tells Bella the story of Carlisle's creation and his own. We learn Edward left Carlisle and his way of life for some soul searching on his own, doing a public service by taking out the evil doers of the world. We wrap up the tour of the house, ending in some cringy roughhousing in Edward’s room and Alice invites them to play baseball. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 15: The Cullens - Bella meets the Cullens in their beautiful, secluded house hidden deep within the woods. Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper are all there to greet her but Rosalie and Emmett are nowhere to be found. Edward shows off on the grand piano, divulges the long history of Carlisle's past and informs Bella of some potential visitors on the horizon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 14: Mind Over Matter - Bella and Edward return home from their meadow date, though the date isn’t over quite yet. Edward spends the night with Bella, this time with Bella’s awareness and consent. Throughout the evening, the two discuss Edward’s family history and whether or not “marriage” would ever be physically possible between them.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 13: Confessions - Edward gets his sparkle on while name calling Bella for the entirety of their first date. The two take a stroll down memory lane and recount the events of their relationship through Edward’s eyes. Edward gives Bella a piggy back ride through the forest.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 12: Balancing - Billy mean-mugs Bella and uses Charlie for his flatscreen while Jacob wants the skinny on Bella’s new ride around town. Edward cuts out of school early to go hunting with Alice, leaving Bella to suffer through the rest of the day on her own. Bella and the rest of us are sick of hearing about this school dance. She and Edward have their first official date out in the middle of the woods and its a glittering good time.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 11: Complications - Everybody’s got their eyes on Bella and Edward now that the two have gone public with their budding relationship. Mr. Banner wheels in the TV cart that we all know and love, the lights are turned out and its movie sexy time in biology! Mike disapproves of Bella and Edward together. Billy and Jacob Black roll up to the scene which might be a bit of a complication.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 10: Interrogations - Is this the real life, is this just fantasy? These are the burning questions Bella asks herself the morning after the eventful trip to Port Angeles. Edward picks Bella up for school. Jessica can’t keep her eyes in her head or her jaw off the floor and wants to know every last detail about Bedward. Honorable mention for Mike and Jessica’s date. Bella and Edward have lunch together, debating who cares about the other more and casually discuss more vampiric information in a lunchroom full of students.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 9: Theory - Leaving Port Angeles, Edward drives way too fast and Bella asks one last (four) questions. They discuss the mechanics of mind reading and Bella’s latest theories. Bella throws Jacob and the Quileutes under the bus. They debunk some vampiric myths. Edward is flabbergasted and makes Bella cry but in the end, she is absolutely sure of three things.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 8: Port Angeles - It’s girl’s night out! After picking out some dresses, Bella breaks off from the group to find a local bookstore. She ends up on the wrong side of town with a shady group of men on her heels. Edward saves the day, again. They go on a non-date date and discuss some hypotheticals.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 7: Nightmare - Bella blasts Phil's favorite beats on repeat until she falls asleep and dreams of Mike, Jacob and Edward. Startled, she wakes up and asks Jeeves, "vampire." She scours the internet and Vampires A-Z for more information and legends about vampires. Overwhelmed with embarrassment, she takes a walk in the woods to mull over her options. The Cullens are no shows at school early in the week and Bella decides to join the other girls for a shopping trip in Port Angeles. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 6: Scary Stories - It’s La Push, baby! Bella and the gang go to the beach. They hit the tidal pools, Bella contemplates the constructs of time and tries to make good on her promise to Edward to not fall in the ocean. The reservation boys join the party and Jacob introduces himself to Bella. The pair take a walk and Jacob tells Bella some Quileute legend scary stories.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 5: Blood Type - Things between Bella and Edward are getting hot and bothered. Edward invites Bella to sit with him at lunch and it’s everything you might expect from these two: awkward, cryptic and weirdly flirty. Edward skips biology class but Bella still goes and immediately regrets it while Mike fumbles his chance to be Bella’s hero.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 4: Invitations - It’s been six weeks since Bella and Edward last spoke but that hasn’t stopped Bella from dreaming about him every night. Some chick named Sadie Hawkins is hosting a spring dance and all these boys are fawning over Bella, hoping they will be the lucky fella she asks to the dance. But Bella can’t even walk without falling down, let alone dance, so she will be spending that day in Seattle instead. Will she be there alone?  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 3: Phenomenon - Its treacherous winter weather in Forks and apparently the high school doesn’t believe in salting their parking lot. Tyler Crowley loses control of his van and is about to do some serious damage to Bella and her truck. But have no fear, Edward is here and was standing right next to her the whole time! Bella is shipped off to the hospital, strapped to a gurney in the back of an ambulance while Edward gets to play with the sirens up front. Dr. Carlisle (Zaddy) Cullen discharges Bella and she goes home to dream of Edward for the first time that night.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TRIGGER WARNINGS (see end of description for details). Twilight, Chapter 2: Open Book - Edward is a no show for the rest of the week and Bella gives us emotional whiplash due to his continued absence. Charlie marvels over how well behaved and downright perfect the Cullens are, unlike the other kids in town. Edward finally returns to school only to start digging into Bella’s personal life over an examination of onion root and the sparks are flying!TRIGGER WARNINGS:Discussions on suicide and sexual assault at timestamp 00:45:00-00:49:50Mention of the 9/11 terrorist attacks at timestamp: 02:12:00-01:18:45 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twilight, Chapter 1: First Sight - Bella barely survives her first day of school. She learns of the inhumanly beautiful and slightly unconventional Cullen family. Unfortunately for her, biology class with lab partner, Edward Cullen, is a far cry from welcoming. Is this a meet cute? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.