Who Wins Podcast

After 10 years, 99 shows (and a pilot), scores of hours and more swearing than is probably legal, we mark episode 100 by crowning the Who Wins Podcast Champion of Champions. It’s Darth Vader vs Doctor Strange. Who wins?

After shock and heartbreak in the last round, we’re down to our last four as The Joker takes on Doctor Strange and The Flash takes on Darth Vader, as they all fight to be named our Champion of Champions.

In this episode, our battle royal winners go one on one for the chance to take one step closer to greatness. Our Quarter Finals are; The Grinch vs The Joker John Rambo vs The Flash Doctor Strange vs Optimus Prime Darth Vader vs Stitch

In this episode, Chris and Mark finish the battle royals as we edge closer to crowning the Who Wins Champion of Champions. In bracket 7 it’s Machines, while in bracket 8 it’s Monsters. The Rules: Seeing how much we love both brackets and battle royals on this show, that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Combatants have been categorised and allocated to appropriate brackets, with the winners of each bracket progressing to the Quarter Finals. Here’s how they line up: 7. Machines: Voltron, The Terminator, Baymax (sorry), Tyrannasaur (Zoids), Inspector Gadget, and Optimus Prime (Transformers). 8. Monsters: Stitch, Count Dracula, Angel (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel), Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel), Chucky, Michael Myers, Freddy Kruger, Lurch (The Addams Family), Shorty (Killer Klownz from Outer Space), Beetlejuice, and Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones). Here’s how the Quarter Finals shape up so far – who will claim the last two slots? The Grinch (BR1) v The Joker (BR3) John Rambo (BR2) v The Flash (BR4) Doctor Strange v WINNER BR8 Darth Vader (BR6) v WINNER BR7

In this episode, Chris and Mark continue with the champion of champions tournament. In bracket 5 it’s Magic Users, while in bracket 6 it’s Enhanced Individuals. The Rules: Seeing how much we love both brackets and battle royals on this show, that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Combatants have been categorised and allocated to appropriate brackets, with the winners of each bracket progressing to the Quarter Finals. Here’s how they line up: 5. Magic Users: Dobby the House Elf, Dr. Strange, Albus Dumbledore, Malificent, Skeletor, Mary Poppins, and Sabrina Spellman. 6. Enhanced Individuals: Father Christmas (Santa Claus, for our international listeners), Jayce (representing Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors), Jason Bourne, Elsa, Rapunzel, Emperor Palpatine, Darth Vader, Ryu, and Mushu. Coming up, brackets 7 (Machines) and 8 (Monsters).

In this episode, Chris and Mark continue with the champion of champions tournament. In bracket 3 it’s Humans, while in bracket 4 it’s Superheroes. The Rules: Seeing how much we love both brackets and battle royals on this show, that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Combatants have been categorised and allocated to appropriate brackets, with the winners of each bracket progressing to the Quarter Finals. Here’s how they line up: 3. Regular Humans: George Bailey, Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Tyrion Lannister, Michael Corleone, “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase, The Joker, Padme Amidala, Dr. Van Helsing, Dennis the Menace (from The Beano), Homer Simpson (representing The Simpsons), George Jetson (representing The Jetsons), Fireman Sam, Bob the Builder, and Maggie Simpson 4. Superheroes: Leonardo (representing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), Danger Mouse, Panthro, Desperate Dan, Mr. Incredible (representing The Incredibles), Buffy Summers, Superman (representing The Justice League), Thanos, The Tenth Doctor, The Flash, He-Man, SuperTed, Adam West’s Batman, and Batfink. Coming up, brackets 5 (Magic Users), 6 (Enhanced Humans), 7 (Machines) and 8 (Monsters).

That’s right, listeners – we’ve been building up to this all year! As we hurtle towards episode 100, we thought it’d be fun to bring back all of our winners, throw them into a pressure-cooker Thunderdome style and see who emerges as Who Wins champion. The Rules: Seeing how much we love both brackets and battle royals on this show, that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Combatants have been categorised and allocated to appropriate brackets, with the winners of each bracket progressing to the Quarter Finals. Here’s how they line up: 1. Beasts (Miss Piggy – Muppets, Red – Fraggles, Dot – Animaniacs, Critters (generic Critter), Wicket – Ewoks, Scooby-Doo, Heathcliff, Grommit, Shaun the Sheep, Donald Duck – Disney, Winnie the Pooh, Beast – Beauty and the Beast, and the Grinch 2. Action Heroes Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, Captain Jack Sparrow, John Rambo, Aragorn, Flynn Ryder – Tangled, Ash Williams – Evil Dead, and Buzz Lightyear – Toy Story Coming up, brackets 3 (Regular Humans), 4 (Superheroes), 5 (Magic Users), 6 (Enhanced Humans), 7 (Machines) and 8 (Monsters)

In this episode, things get a bit chilly as Disney duelists Elsa and Frozone battle it out to determine which of them is the coolest mother*cker in the room.

In this episode, we pit everyone’s favourite X-Man against a disfigured child-killer from the dreamworld. Not that we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel or owt...

In this episode, Chris and Mark go all out to upset not one but two sets of internet superfans, continue the age-old argument of art vs artist, and demonstrate a shockingly cavalier attitude towards the etiquette of wizarding duels. All in a day’s work, really...

In this episode, Chris and Mark find themselves flagging at the end of respective long days as they pit claymation crusaders into battle before descending into absolute madness. If we were the sort of people who did trigger warnings, there’d probably be something about child murder, internet porn and penguins carrying razorblades here… Apologies to lucastheshaunthesheepfan11 – our distinct (and completely on-brand) lack of preparation for this episode made us forget that this was one of your suggestions, so thank you for teeing this one up for us. I think.

Ho-ho-hello, listeners! It’s that time of year again – the CHristmas jumpers are out, Mark’s back on the egg-nog, and HR are on standby in anticipation of shennanigans at the Double Down party. That’s right, it’s Christmas! In this episode, Chris and Mark segue neatly from finding the stop-tap to reproductive rights as The Grinch looks to go 7-0 in our ninth annual seasonal smackdown. Standing in his way this year, those pesky Gremlins… As always, it’s winner stays on. For those of you playing along at home, here’s how we got here; 2022: THE GRINCH def. The Griswalds (6-0) 2021: THE GRINCH def. Krampus (5-0) 2020: THE GRINCH def. Frosty the Snowman (4-0) 2019: THE GRINCH def. John McClane (3-0) 2018: THE GRINCH def. Buddy the Elf (2-0) 2017: THE GRINCH def. George Bailey (1-0) 2016: Christmas was cancelled. Probably because of Brexit, Trump, or some other shit-show. 2015: GEORGE BAILEY def. Santa Claus 2014: SANTA CLAUS def. Kevin McAllister

In this episode, Chris and Mark get very confused as two pint-sized pugilists with the EXACT SAME NAME AND BIRTHDAY get into it for the unofficial title of Supreme Dennis. If you’re having difficulty following the title, just wait until you listen to the episode!

In this Hallowe’en episode we’ve got more monster hunters than most kids have candy as a stacked line-up vies for spooky supremacy. In no particular order, we’ve got; Mystery Inc. (Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby, from Scooby Doo) The Frog Brothers (Edgar and Alan Frog, from The Lost Boys); Professor van Helsing (from Bram Stoker’s Dracula); Simon Belmont (from Captain N); Luigi (from Luigi’s Mansion); John Constantine (from Constantine); The Ghostbusters (Egon Spengler, Peter Venkman, Winston Zedmore and Ray Stantz, from Ghostbusters); and Mulder and Scully (from The X Files).

In this episode, things turn salty as Chris and Mark talk childhood comics, the lasting effects of Popeye getting amorous, and just what Popeye gets up to at sea that made his forearms so big… Thanks to Hot_Amphibian_6090 for the suggestion

In this episode, Chris and Mark try to kill the unkillable as two hugely annoying trios attempt to off one another. Thanks to HotAmphibian6090 for suggesting this fight.

We’re back after a lengthy lay-off (screw you, 2023!) to put two old favourites to the sword as Super-Ted takes on the returning Danger Mouse.

Chris and Mark are back with their biggest and most brutal battle yet, featuring some of the world’s best-loved dogs. And Scrappy-Doo.

In this year’s Christmas Special, The Grinch looks to go 6-0 as he takes on all 13 members of the Griswald family – including the Squirrel! For those of you playing along at home: 2021: The Grinch def. Krampus 2020: The Grinch def. Frosty the Snowman 2019: The Grinch def. John McClane 2018: The Grinch def. Buddy the Elf 2017: The Grinch def. George Bailey 2016: Christmas was cancelled 2015: George Bailey def. Santa Claus 2014: Santa Claus def. Kevin McAllister

In a hastily arranged, unplanned change to the schedule, we round off Cat month on the network with Mark’s impression of an impression, a potential spin-off series for 2023, and a disputable version of metaphysics that should not, under any circumstances, be relied upon or considered even remotely close to being accurate…

In this episode, Chris and Mark round off spooky season with the scariest of all God’s creations. No, not Tories. Okay, second-scariest…

In this episode, Chris and Mark finally decide if it’s harder to watch 80+ hours of Game of Thrones or 13 hours of Lord of the Rings. Oh, and there’s some fighting…

In this episode Chris and Mark get a stark vision of our future as the machines rise in battle.

In this episode, Chris and Mark go faster than you can say “That’s what she said” as Barry Allen’s Flash squares off against a furry blue asshole.

In this, the most brutal episode ever, Chris and Mark serve up a battle for the ages as Flash Gordon takes on Buzz Lightyear. The toy.

To commemorate 70 years of sitting on her arse and doing nothing for 70 years, this episode pits Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II against some of pop-culture’s finest queens. Plus, Chris getting royally confused… Neither Chrs nor Mark are fans of the Royal Family, so this episode may not be for everyone – be warned!

In this episode, we mark the arrival of Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness by throwing sorcerors, wizards and magicians into combat. Running the gauntlet are; Doctor Strange Harry Potter Mandrake the Magician Gandalf The Great and Powerful Oz Orco Merlin, and – of course Paul Daniels

In this episode, the big fight goes small, Mark forgets who’s fighting, and our dynamic duo get a hankering for blancmange… Music by Gvidon from Pixabay

In this episode, Chris and Mark get sidetracked more often than usual while debating where Frankenstein’s Monster plugs in to recharge…

Welcome back! In this episode, Chris and Mark ring in the new year with a battle of the babies. One’s an evil genius while the other can barely stand unaided, but will that be enough?

Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, Fight Fans. It’s that time of year again, and The Grinch has surely met his match in The Christmas Devil. Can Mark’s spirit animal defy the odds and make it 5-0?

In this episode we pit spy against spy as Mssrs Bond and Bourne test the ‘Special Relationship’, Chris and Mark wax lyrical over British Prime Ministers and their proclivity for pigs, and Mark revisits a news story from the end of the summer involving one Bruce Wayne…

In this episode Chris and Mark bring out the bloodsuckers to round off spooky season, with appearances from; Dracula (Bram Stoker’s Dracula) Nosferatu (F.W. Murnau’s Nosferatu) Lestat (The Vampire Chronicles) Blade (Marvel) Count von Count (Sesame Street) Colin Robinson (What We Do in the Shadows) David Powers (The Lost Boys) Spike & Drusilla (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

In this episode, puppet behemoths collide on the corner of Sesame Street, Chris and Mark show signs of mental breakdown, and Chris falls for a round of Baby Shark. #sorrynotsorry

In this episode Chris and Mark kick off our He-Man season with a fight they should have done years ago…

In this episode, short people with dubious hairstyles collide as The Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms Regnant, Khaleesi of the Great Sea of Grass, Mhyssa, Chain Breaker, The Unburned, and Mother of Dragons Daenerys Targaryen – First of Her Name – swaps Westeros for Passamaquoddy to take on Pete (of Pete’s Dragon, just in case Passamaquoddy didn’t ring that particular bell for you…). And, just because it’ll guarantee death destruction and a boatload of internet backlash, we’ll let her bring Drogon – her last surviving dragon. WARNING: This episode contains spoilers for Game of Thrones (as well as some unpopular opinions about the show!), but if that’s your bag then don’t forget to check out the SERIES FINALE of Game of Moans from Monday, June 21st, 2021 on the Double Down Podcast Network

In this episode the Clown Prince of Crime takes on the worst castaway ever – the first clown ever to fall asleep fishing and get washed out to sea only to find themselves “stranded” on an island with other people, talking animals and a 7-11. Plus, we finally lose the plot after 60+ weeks of COVID, home-working and self-isolating and get lost in the intricacies of duck penises and cement.

In this episode, Chris and Mark engage in some bear on bear action. No, wait, not like that!

In this episode, Chris and Mark pit one of the most heinous heels ever to set foot in a WWE ring against former wrestler Ted Dibiase – See what we did there…

In this episode, the robots rise again as Robocop takes on Inspector Gadget.

This episode sees two of the laziest competitors ever to disgrace our airwaves. And we don’t mean Chris and Mark.

Bringing the Christmas season (and the sh!tshow that has been 2020) to a close, everyone’s favourite magical snowman, Frosty, steps up to the reigning, defending, undisputed Who Wins Christmas champion, The Grinch.

In this episode, we break out the best of British puppets as Sooty and friends take on Emu (minus Rod Hull’s hand up his arse).

In this episode, we round off spooky season with a question – how do you kill a ghost without a Proton Pack, a Trap and an Ecto-Containment Unit? Let’s find out

In this episode, Chris and Mark pit tortured souls in moral combat as Twilight’s Edward Cullen takes on Sunnydale’s original “Vampire with a Soul” - Angel. Who wants to live forever?

In this episode, two “cyborgs” face off as Chris and Mark discuss space wizards, mad-science and Midichlorians, and pose a real head-scratcher – can a lightsaber cut through vibranium?

In this episode, Chris and Mark cause an inter-dimensional fender-bender to pit the chosen ones against the Tenth Doctor. Also, we stumble upon an idea for our next show...

In this episode Chris and Mark do the Mobster Mash as the Dons of New York and New Jersey vie for supremacy.

Join Chris and Mark as they attempt their biggest, most ambitious battle to date, pitting the core cast of the original Street Fighter 2 against the core cast of the original Mortal Kombat. For those playing along at home, Mark actually did waste several hours on a Sportscenter-esque video bracket which totally wasn’t worth the time and effort.

Join Chris and Mark as they attempt their biggest, most ambitious battle to date, pitting the core cast of the original Street Fighter 2 against the core cast of the original Mortal Kombat.