Whole Heart Transformation
by Melissa Elguera
Welcome! This podcast is designed to open your heart and mind around difficult subjects that are actually the keys to heart transformation. I will be discussing sex, identity, God, emotions, societies affects on all of this and how all of these things have been twisted. This podcast is to help you untangle the lies from the truth. And to help you start the process of Whole Heart Transformation.
Episodes
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Inside The Mind Of The Betrayer With Samuel
In this episode, Melissa sits down with Sam to explore what’s happening beneath the surface of betrayal. They unpack compartmentalization, childhood patterns, shame, subconscious loyalties, and why understanding the “why” behind betrayal doesn’t remove accountability—it helps create lasting…
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The meaning you've made of betrayal can be what's harming you. Even years later!
Melissa Elguera discusses the complex process of healing from betrayal, focusing on the importance of understanding trauma, meaning making, and emotional regulation. She shares insights on how past traumas influence current pain and offers practical guidance for betrayed partners and betrayers to...
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Tools To Help The Betrayed Heal From Betrayal Trauma
Melissa Elguera shares practical tools and insights for betrayed partners to begin healing from betrayal trauma. She emphasizes the importance of body awareness, emotional processing, and community support in the healing journey. betrayal trauma, emotional healing, body awareness, trauma…
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Breaking the Cycle: Transforming Patterns for Lasting Change
Breaking the Cycle: Transforming Patterns for Lasting Change In the latest episode of Wholeheart Transformation, Melissa Elguera delves into the critical topic of understanding and transforming patterns in our lives. She explores how these patterns shape our behaviors and relationships…
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Healing your relationship after infidelity
The conversation explores the process of rebuilding after infidelity, focusing on healing the self and the relationship. Key themes include the importance of full disclosure, the role of empathy, dealing with shame, establishing emotional boundaries, and seeking support as the betrayed partner.…
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Why Your Love Wasn’t Enough to Stop the Cheating
You loved them deeply. You gave, forgave, prayed, and tried harder. So why did they still betray you? In this episode, Melissa unpacks the painful myth that “if I were enough, they wouldn’t have cheated.” You’ll learn why betrayal isn’t a reflection of your worth or love, but of their…
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The Freedom of Facing Reality: Why Feeling Is the First Step to Healing
Avoidance might feel safer, but it keeps us stuck. In this episode, Melissa explores the hidden benefits of facing and feeling reality—especially when it comes to betrayal and emotional pain. You’ll discover how turning toward discomfort actually reduces long-term suffering, why numbing or...
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Post Betrayal Transformation with Dr. Debi Silber
Join me today as Dr. Debi Silber and I discuss Post Betrayal Transformation. Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st), is an award winning speaker, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling...
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Why facing and feeling in reality is vital to heal
We can't heal what we don't feel and we can't heal what we don't face.
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Don't stop your healing by doing this
Listen as I share what stops your healing and how to get to where you can face reality and heal. Contact me at: https://identitylife.coach/contact
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Why subconscious loyalty is blocking your healing
Subconscious loyalty involves feeling a strong need to protect our parents, whether it's their image or our feelings about them. Ultimately, this can hinder your healing.
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What's the root of your pain?
The root of our pain is surprising to many. That's because. facing and feeling reality isn't something we feel capable of. So whatever is causing the pain now (like betrayal or any other pain) we find ourselves focusing on that and not getting relief. Join me today as I share more and how to...
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Why you're not enough to make them STOP
Many partners of sexual addicts (or any addiction) believe that if they were enough their addicted partner would stop their addictive behaviors. In this episode, I will discuss WHY you can't be enough and what you need to do instead.
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Why we try to escape ourselves.
Many of us didn't have the security in our upbringing to just be and be ok. Our parents (for most of us) didn't have the tools, skills or understanding of what children needed. When our parents don't help us see the world in a connected healthy way, we have no other option but to split off from…
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What's stalling your ability to heal?
Take a listen as I give real practical understanding of what could be stalling your healing and how to change it. Want to get coaching with me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact
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Hang ups in marriage
Ever wonder why you keep dealing with the same issues in your marriage? Here's some common reasons that you may not have known. Want couples coaching that's transformative? Go here: https://identitylife.coach/contact
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Why you do things you don't want to do
Do you ever wonder why you have internal conflict? Does it seem like one part of you wants to do one thing and another part wants to do another? Do you find yourself doing things that you hate and aspects of yourself that you hide from others? Then this podcast today is for you. Join me as I talk...
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Lies, Secrets, and the Path to Freedom
Today's special guest, Blaine Bartel shares his very HONEST and vulnerable story of a life involving secrecy, porn addiction to affairs. While Blaine's story is heart breaking, his comeback story (after being told his likelihood to recover would be a shear miracle) is what has transformed the…
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Why we can't just snap out of our upbringing
It's a common thing I hear from people that because we are adults, we should act and think differently than what we were raised with. The problem with this thinking is that it goes against how we are designed. We are designed to carry our parents with us internally. For security and safety....
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Why some people heal and some don't
Join me as I talk about why some people heal and some people don't. Does this speak to you? Are you ready to heal? Go to: https:https://identitylife.coach/contact for my coaching services.
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How to build secure attachment after betrayal
Join me today as my husband and I discuss some of our journey to secure attachment after betrayal. Want to get coaching with me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse by the Gottman's: 1. Criticism 2. Contempt 3. Defensiveness 4. Stonewalling...
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How did I get like this?
Ever wonder why you do the things you do? Or why you think the way you think? Today I will be discussing some of the reasons we end up the way we do and what we can do about it. Want coaching with me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact
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From devastation to transformation. A story of hope.
Join me today as I interview Shannon and Kendra as they share their story from addiction, betrayal and real transformation. Shannon and Kendra have walked the fire of betrayal and recovery. After many failed attempts, they got healing and relief. This is their story and it's powerful! They are…
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How could they do this?!
Curious to understand how people can do destructive things and also have an aspect of themselves that did good things too? Join me today as I unpack this and what I have learned about the, "How". Want to be coached by me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact
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Why you may not have capacity for life situations
When considering why we get triggered, can't empathize, people please, need to escape pain through numbing out behaviors (even ones that seem harmless) , or we just, "Can't!" We are talking about internal capacity to handle the difficulties (or even joys) of life. Need support? Go...
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Why can't they receive my love?
Ever feel like you have so much love to give but the people you love can't receive it? Or maybe you feel like something is wrong with you because they can't receive your love? If you find yourself in this place, this will be such a helpful podcast to understand why and maybe why you take it...
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The importance of emotional growth
Join me today as I discuss the importance of emotional growth. Interested in my coaching or my groups? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact
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How shame keeps you from receiving love
Shame is a belief that something is so wrong with me that if people knew me, they wouldn't love me. Shame keeps out love. Take a listen today as I share more and give insight on how this can impact individuals and relationships. Looking for help? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact
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Keys to a better marriage with Brandon Doerksen
Join me today as I had the honor of interviewing Brandon Doerksen. He's leading the way in helping men into healthy masculinity and healthy marriages. His insight on emotional health is so powerful! I hope you gain wisdom and hope as you hear him share his story and how he's currently impacting...
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How explosive ANGER (or frozen) is most likely unprocessed grief
Anger is a part of the grief process. When we are not in touch with anger or if it has become our first emotional response, there is most likely a place where anger was the safest emotion to express rather than deep sadness. On the opposite side, frozen anger ( when we aren't even connected to…
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How to stop passing generational trauma
Here's some key steps to awareness of how generational pain and trauma gets passed down and how to stop passing it. Interested in my coaching? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact
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What's the cost of avoiding grieving?
Grief is a part of life. Many of us weren't taught how to grieve. Science is revealing the deeper harm that is caused to ourselves when we don't process emotions, but not only does it cost us, it costs future generations as well. Take a listen as I share how avoiding grief is harmful and what you...
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How to get to the root of our issues
Many times when we attempt to deal with the issues we are facing whether that is overeating, not working out, addictions, inability to stop yelling at our kids or whatever else we could put on the list, we need to get to the root. All the behaviors are just symptoms of soil and root issues and…
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How can we change the real issues within church culture?
Join me today as I talk with my good friend and coaching colleague Annie Perkins as we discuss very real issues within church culture. And some of our ideas to be healthier as a church and bring transformation instead of judgement and aloneness. If you’d like to learn more about Annie’s service…
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Why do I keep having the same problems?
Wondering why you are going back to the same things and having the same problems? Today I will be talking about the "why" and how to change PERMANENTLY. Interested in coaching with me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact Want to discover your values and grow in them? Get my Daily Values…
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The benefits of facing emotional pain
Many of us want to avoid emotional pain. We will do anything not to sit with it and avoid it at all costs. But in order to heal grow and change, we have to face it. Without facing the pain head on, we will find ourselves repeating painful cycles. Join me today as I share how to face the pain and...
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How to gain joy after betrayal and hardship
Have you gone through hardships that have left you joyless? Has betrayal hit your relationship and you feel as if you're sinking in grief with no way out? Join me today as I address what happens to our brain when we aren't getting the proper chemical in our brain and body that give us joy and how...
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2 main components to healing
There are 2 main components to getting our healing process started. Without these 2 components, we won't even begin the process of healing. Take a listen as I share these components and next steps! Want support? Go to www.identitylife.coach to connect with me and my coaches.
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How attachment deficits are damaging your relationships (and what to do about it)
Attachment is the very foundation of our beginning as a human. If that foundation isn't developed properly in childhood, we will be left with attachment deficits in adulthood. Want to join one of our groups or experience coaching one on one with me? go to identitylife.coach to sign up!
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My story from this place in my healing journey
Join me today as I share my story from the lens of healing and post traumatic growth. Want to expeirence my coaching or my coaching groups? Go to www.identitylife.coach to get on my waitlist
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Why healing is so hard and takes so long
Reach out for support and start your healing journey. www.identitylife.coach
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My secret sauce methods to healing
Join me today as I share some of the most powerful and impact ways to heal
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How our body remembers what our brain forgets
Our body carries our story more so than our brain. When we become curious with the signals our body is attempting to point us to we can begin to heal as a we discover what it is trying to say. When we avoid curiosity, we stop the healing process and stifle our growth. Join me today and I talk…
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Healing requires self reflection skills
Self reflection is a skill we learn in childhood. If we aren't able to self reflect, we won't be able to discover how to heal and change. Listen, as I share how I help my kids learn to self reflect and how you can learn to even if you didn't gain the skills in childhood so you can grow and heal too.
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Why your betraying partner can't heal you
There is a real need to heal when betrayal hits your life. Here are some reasons why looking for healing from your betraying parter won't heal the deep pain.
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How your childhood attachment affects your adult relationships
Many people believe that once you become an adult that your childhood experiences are no longer an excuse or reason for how you show up as an adult. Unfortunately nothing could be further from the truth. Join me as I share my journey and the journey of supporting others in their process to…
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Why we fill loneliness with false connection
False connection is a fleeting experience. It is not sustainable but we do this because it appears that it will make us feel better and fill the deep hole inside. Hook culture is breeding avoidant attachment and leaving many people more lonely than ever before. It's a real concern. Take a listen…
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How infidelity shatters the soul and the process to heal
How infidelity shatters the soul and the process to heal.
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Embodied beliefs keeping you stuck?
Embodied beliefs are what we experience as beliefs in our whole body. The only way to heal these beliefs is to feel them all the way through. Listen for how in todays podcast.
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How your childhood shapes you
Our childhood either prepares us to be healthy adults, or it leaves us to grow up with deficits and unable to deal with difficult situations.
About this show
Welcome! This podcast is designed to open your heart and mind around difficult subjects that are actually the keys to heart transformation. I will be discussing sex, identity, God, emotions, societies affects on all of this and how all of these things have been twisted. This podcast is to help you untangle the lies from the truth. And to help you start the process of Whole Heart Transformation.
Hosted by
Melissa Elguera
Categories