Widow's Permission Slips with Gladys Jean Ullstam

After Gary died, I learned that being alone and being lonely are two completely different things. I could be surrounded by people who loved me, sitting at a full table, and still feel completely alone because the one person I was looking for wasn't there. In this episode, I talk about the kind of loneliness a crowd can't fix. I share why it isn't a sign that you're broken or failing to move forward, how to stop fighting it when it comes, and why one honest connection can mean more than a room full of people. If you've ever felt lonely for your person even when you weren't alone, this one is for you. Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

When Gary died, I didn't just become a widow. I became the only living parent of two grieving kids. Mine are grown, and it turns out grown kids still need their mom in grief. In this episode, I talk about the juggling act nobody hands you a manual for. Mothering broken hearts while your own heart is broken. I share why you can't do your kids' grieving for them, why hiding your grief from them doesn't protect them the way you hope, and how a family learns to carry a loss together without anyone carrying it alone. If you're parenting through grief, whether your kids are seven or forty-seven, this one is for you.  Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

Widowhood makes you want to get small. To pull the world in close, shut the door, and stay in the cave where it feels safe. I know that pull. I felt it hard after Gary died. In this episode, I talk about what happened when I made myself venture out anyway, teaching myself the ukulele in year two and playing open mic nights at an art studio in Hammond, taking every dance class I could find, and making friends across the country. And I share the thing that surprised me most. Out there, trying and learning and growing, I didn't feel further from Gary. I felt closer to him. This one is about choosing to grow instead of disappear, and why that's where the love keeps moving. Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

He is in a better place. At least you had the years you had. Everything happens for a reason. And my personal favorite, the head tilt, which doesn't even need words. If you've been widowed for more than about a week, you've collected a whole pile of these, and every one of them lands wrong. In this episode, I talk about what's actually happening when someone who loves you says the worst possible thing, and why so many of us end up comforting other people about our own husband's death. I share the three things I finally learned to do with the fumblers, and what changes when you stop being the hostess of your own grief. Some people love you badly. That's still love. It's just wearing a really bad outfit. If you're tired of smoothing it over for everyone else, this one is for you. Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

This weekend I floated around a lazy river, watching a giant bucket fill up and dump on the people below. If you see it coming, you can brace for it. It's unpleasant, but you knew what you signed up for. If you don't see it coming, it knocks you clean off your feet. And somewhere on that river, I realized that's exactly how grief works. In this episode, I talk about the hard days we can brace for, the ones that hit out of nowhere, and the way we punish ourselves when we get walloped unprepared. Gary loved the lazy river too. This one is about giving yourself grace, for any reason, or none at all. Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

In the first two weeks after Gary died, my phone never stopped. Then somewhere around week six, it got quiet. Some of the people I was most sure of were the ones I never heard from again. In this episode, I talk about the second loss nobody prepares you for, and the idea that finally took the sting out of it for me. Relationships have seasons. All of them, our whole lives long. I share why the people who disappeared were never a report card on my worth, and how their absence left room for the people I really need in this stage of my life. If your circle looks different than you thought it would, this one is for you. Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

A few weeks after Gary died, I had to fill out a form at the bank. Marital status. Single. Married. Divorced. Widowed. My pen just stopped. In this episode, I talk about the question that shows up in waiting rooms and quiet kitchens after your person dies. Who am I now? I share why the word widow felt like it only took things away, the realization that changed how I carry it, and how the answer to the identity question comes one small choice at a time. If you don't quite recognize yourself right now, this one is for you. Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

July 20th - MONDAY Permission Slip Strong. You're so strong, I don't know how you do it, you're handling this so well. People hand widows that word like a gift, but if you've been widowed more than a few weeks, you know it starts to feel less like a gift and more like a job. In this episode, I talk about the day I hit the wall, bone tired of holding it all together, and why that kind of tired is not weakness or failing at grief. I share the picture that changed how I see it, the heavy box everyone praises you for carrying but nobody offers to take, and one small thing you can try this week to finally set it down. Real strength was never about staying steady and dry-eyed. You're allowed to stop being brave.  Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

 Early in my grief, my brain told me a lie. It said I deserved to be widowed. In this episode, I share where that thought came from, why it felt so true, and the simple journal exercise that broke the spell. If your brain has ever told you that your loss is somehow the price of your love, this one is for you. Your permission slip this week: I give myself permission to be that loved.  Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

It sneaks up on you. Out of nowhere, you want something again. You laugh a real laugh, you crave a good meal, you catch yourself enjoying an ordinary morning. And then the guilt rushes in right behind it, because how dare you want anything when he is gone.In this episode of Widow's Permission Slips, I sit with you in the strange guilt of wanting things again. I share how long I refused to let myself enjoy a single thing after Gary died, the backwards belief that was hiding underneath it, and why your wanting is not a betrayal of him. You can want a good life and miss him with your whole chest at the very same time. Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

People love to reassure you that the old you will come back, that one day you will feel like yourself again. But what if that is not true, and what if it does not need to be? Grief changes you all the way down, the way becoming a parent does. There is a you before and a you after, and they are not the same woman.In this episode of Widow's Permission Slips, I talk about being changed by loss on a cellular level, a lifelong fear that vanished the moment Gary stopped breathing, and the square dancing club I never in a million years would have joined before. Grief is a time of learning, and curiosity is how you meet the woman you are becoming. Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

Somewhere in the middle of all this, you probably started treating your grief like a problem to solve. The books, the stages, the journal, the app, the quiet hope that if you just do the right things in the right order, one day you will wake up and be done with it.In this episode of Widow's Permission Slips, I talk about that day you keep waiting for, the finish line that never actually comes. I share how long I spent treating my own grief like a checklist after Gary died, what finally shifted for me, and why your grief was never something that went wrong in you. It is love that still has somewhere to go, and love is allowed to stay. Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

Sometimes grief shows up in ways that surprise you. Laughing at the worst possible moment. Feeling nothing at all when you expected to fall apart. A flash of relief that frightens you. Anger that seems to come from nowhere and land everywhere.In this episode of Widow's Permission Slips, I sit with you in the parts of grief that feel strange or even wrong, the ones that make you quietly wonder if something is broken in you. We talk about why anger belongs to grief, why numbness is a form of grieving too, and why each of these reactions is your heart doing exactly what grief asks of it.Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

It has been a while now, and you can feel the expectation in the air. The sense that you should be further along by this point. Maybe someone has said it out loud, or maybe it is just the way the conversations around you have moved on while you are still standing in the middle of it.In this episode of Widow's Permission Slips, I sit with you in the myth that grief runs on a schedule. We look at where the idea of neat stages and tidy timelines came from, why it does not match the real experience of losing your person, and what starts to loosen when you stop measuring yourself against a clock that was never built for grief.Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.

Episode 1 — You Don't Have to Be OkayEveryone around you seems to need you to be okay. The friend who keeps telling you how strong you are. The coworker who relaxes when you smile. The part of you that has learned to say "I'm fine" because it is easier than watching someone's face fall.In this first episode of Widow's Permission Slips, I sit with you in the exhaustion of performing okay when you are anything but. We talk about where that pressure comes from, why it shows up so early in grief, and what starts to ease when you finally set it down.Widow's Permission Slips is a production of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows, hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam, certified life coach and Gary's widow.If you are ready to be met exactly where you are, my free discovery call, Holding the Ember, is open at emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.Follow the show so a new permission slip finds you each week, and share it with a widow who needs to hear it.Website: emberandbloomcoaching.comYou are not alone in this.