Wine, Weed, Weird!

Emily and Ky lead rich, full lives! They travel! Their friends get married! Emily's the chief steward of her union! Ky is supposed to be doing admin! Anyway, this week's episode is a re-release. It's our third episode ever, and I think it's a real treat. Pull up the song so you can listen along! Is this song about sex? Is it rich with metaphors? Is Liz short for lizard? Does eating something you're allergic to make you gooey in the middle? We may never know.

Emily and Ky are at the beach with pelvic floor issues! Before they have to pee again, they discuss daring to get ready for bed, the frozen yogurt craze, why there are so many boobs in this PSA, why DARE always seems to be trying to increase children's exposure to drugs, and of course, what THEIR drug PSA would say! It's a another giggly beach episode as they journey through their own land of decisions and choices. Will they pay $15 for a pina colada? Will they try cocaine again? Will they ever know how one actually sniffs glue? The only way for you to find out is to make your own decision and choice to listen!

The beach is for bitches, and thank God, no one asked Emily and Ky to watch their stuff this year, or explained to them what breakfast was! This year they're explaining one of Emily's mom's favorite movies! The woman contains legions. And Emily and Ky contain oppinions! Lots of them! Is this a deeply layered satirical commentary on modern american life? Is it an endless string of racially insensitive stereotypes and raunchy puns? Could it be both? There's only one way to find out, and we do not recomend you pay $3.99 for the privilege.

Does anything hit quite like a piña colada on a hot day? No, absolutely not. Who doesn’t like a piña colada?? Certainly none of our listeners, which is part of what is so half-brained at best about this personal add relationship train wreck set to a boppy beat we’re re-releasing our episode on from season one. Order yourself one, and thank your lucky stars you’re not in a relationship with either one of these two!

I don't know about you, listeners, but what stands out to me in this episode is not the shock of torturing old man corn (see what I did there?), not the insightful political commentary on the violence of the carceral state, not Emily's medium quality explanation of the concept of tyranny of the majority, but the fact that they mentioned the 2016 black comedy Sausage Party so many times without getting the title of the movie right even once. Emily and Ky are for the streets, so that's where they're recording (recorning?). Get tucked in like cute little peas in a pod, envision the streets of Tribeca, and tune in!

First, special guest Teddy is here to share a weird snack and they claim Emily ate most of, however there is photo evidence disproving this slander. Then, Emily and Ky would like to welcome you to Beaver Valley! No, it's not their onlyfans channel, but it is still a special place full of beautiful beavers! Get ready for so many animals facts, most importantly that every animal is just the cutest little guy. We've also got church camp stories, cat updates, and a treatise on a common reproductive strategy in the animal kingdom: the nut 'n' die! It's a season 6 can't miss!

Sometimes, there's a subtle arc to 3-episode recording sessions: a warm-up, a high energy, and a gentle slope down at the end. But this ep's subject has got Emily fired up with all the hot takes: ACAB except for the assholes driving really loud cars/motorcycles down the Prospect Expressway! There should be NO free street parking! If you have a big truck, and don't have a frequent essential use for it, you are a loser, and should feel bad! Ky is softly moderating some of these takes with her classic care and consideration, but agrees strongly on the car-size arms race being both annoying, as well as dangerous. Shout-out to the War on Cars podcast for radicalizing Emily, and the assholes driving down Prospect Park Expressway in really loud cars/motorcycles at just the right time for providing realistic sound effects. You know Emily hates to hand it to them. Keep a look out for a future performance art project: storing my private property on the street for free, since that's apparently a thing we can do. Seriously, fuck cars.

We've got an exciting sequel for you in season six! It's the Kazoo Kid! Except instead of a playing a kazoo, he's shaking kids' hands like he's running for president! It's weird. Emily is really reading into his feelings about this. Ky has her own theories. Aside from making fun of small children, they mostly discuss the state of healthcare in America. In case you wondered, Emily's eye doctor pronounced her retinas healthy, and beautiful.

Emily and Ky have had their Spring Break, and they are, as the autogenerated chapter titles once said, High, Unaccountable, and Ready to Chat! They're diving right in with musings on the nature of achievement and validation, a long tangent on an embryo-centered court case, and of course, the classic song that started it all: "All I Want to do is Make Love to You" by Heart! This season they've done (most of) their homework, and are each coming to you with a handful of songs to propose as prequels or sequels to the events in the story. New to the pod? You can get a perfect refresher by going back to episode one of season 5! If you want every crumb of context, listening to all five of our previous season openers before this would be a hell of a way to experience the magic of Wine, Weed, Weird! Happy Summer, yall! Welcome to the new season!

The time has come! Emily and Ky take a fond trip down memory lane through this season's episodes. We had guests! We were guests! We found the ants on drugs video! We documented people blowing up a whale! We discovered just how antisocial Jon Arbucle is! It was a great season. Rest now, Cephalopods, or tune into our rich back catalogue. We'll be taking a casual break for a month. We'll be back June 12th, coming in hot with a season opener in Pride Month!

Emily and Ky are back to talk more about Suddenly Amish, and thank God, because there is drama for days! From cultures clashing when someone's mother visits, to mysterious late night assignations, there's a lot to speculate on this week. We also learn who decided to continue with the church at the end of the show, and we learn only the tiniest possible bit about where they might be now. Emily and Ky still have questions, but none of them are about the tooth extracting device!

Emily and Ky just need to dig into this, ok? Or maybe just Emily does. It’s complicated. It’s silly. It’s a cultural anomaly that felt eternal and unchanging. It’s Christian alternative rock from the early aughts! Tune in for technical difficulties, computer struggles, youth group deep dives, controversial teen hang-outs, and that all-important question, were the guys in Relient K ok?? We can’t know, because Emily never asked.