Wired Divergent: Nervous System Regulation & Self Trust for Neurodivergent Brains

If you are neurodivergent and you socialize, which you probably do, you probablly get hit with the social tax of social masking (or camouflaging) on an almost daily basis. It can lead to meltdown, shutdown, autistic burnout, and more because it is really hard on our nervous systems and body. Most conversations about autistic masking stay on the psychology, or in that "you shouldn't mask" or "hey, just unmask!") territory, so in this episode I cover the body side of things. We should be able to "just unmask". Sure, it would be so great! But the reality is we live in a world that still forces us to do this for safety or need. So until we can just unmask, this episode helps with things you can do in the moment in social situations, because sometimes we can't afford to not mask (for safety, for access, because of various marginalizations, etc). Social masking asks the autonomic nervous system to run a sustained performance for hours, and for a lot of neurodivergent people that load does not clear with a single good night's sleep. I walk through what happens physiologically when masking runs too long, and how it connects to allostatic load and what some autistic communities call masking debt. I also get into why the collapse that follows can feel so far out of proportion to the day, and why low interoception and alexithymia make the cost so hard to notice while it builds. Then I cover two nervous system tools, that I adapted for neurodivergent brains, that give you something concrete to do in the moment.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:How to tell when masking has pushed you past what your nervous system can recover fromWhy standard advice like "just unmask" or "give yourself permission to rest" does not reach the real loadThe body signals that show the cost is building before you hit collapseHow two CRM skills, reworked to be inclusive for neurodivergent bodies, fit into a heavy masking dayWhy this load can be difficult if you also code-switch or face dismissal in medical settingsCHAPTERS:0:00 The post-social collapse most masking talk skips1:27 Why this one is personal3:45 What social masking does to the nervous system7:54 Why "just unmask" misses the actual problem12:37 Allostatic load and the idea of masking debt16:37 The body signals that show the cost is building23:24 Why "give yourself permission to rest" rarely lands25:00 Two CRM skills, adapted for neurodivergent brains30:03 Building a masking-recovery practice that fits you31:53 Coaching, newsletter, and where to go nextSCIENCE:Studies on the costs of autistic camouflaging and masking:https://docs.autismresearchcentre.com/papers/2017_Hull_Putting-on-my-best-normal.pdfhttps://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6483965/https://pdxscholar.library.pdx.edu/socwork_fac/378/https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1750946723001320On why science doesn't support the biology claims of Polyvagal Theory, and why it is harmful for neurodivergent people (supported with science): https://jendehaan.com/blog/is-polyvagal-theory-debunked-2026/andhttps://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301051123001060Community Resilience Model (CRM), Trauma Resource Institute: https://www.traumaresourceinstitute.com/crmRESOURCES & LINKS:Neurodivergent coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/coachingGroup practice: https://jendehaan.com/offscript/ (introductory program coming soon, check site for other options in future)Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comPodcast version and regulation practice episodes: https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergentNewsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersAbout Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube and Spotify. The audio you are hearing in strategy episodes is taken from the video version, which is recorded both inside and outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:Neurodivergent coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/coachingGroup Programs: https://jendehaan.com/offscript/ (introductory program coming soon, check site for other options in future)Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comSupport the showLike this episode or show and want more? Support us with a one-time tip: https://learn.improvupdate.com/products/supportWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. You can support the shows by signing up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. We also have our tip form with them, and sell products on their platform. Easy, and they don't take a cut! Check Kit out and support the show using this: https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkSchedule posts? We use Metricool (reasonable for multiple accounts/brands/shows). Support us using our link: https://f.mtr.cool/VZBOZRAboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation and soon teacher training certification on community resilience. She has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resourcesFull Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimerThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

If you understand your neurodivergent nervous system better than most people you know and still can't make a daily practice or a new habit stick, there are still elements from your life that you can adjust to work with how your brain is wired. This episode breaks down why understanding alone doesn't change neurodivergent nervous system patterns, and some ideas that can lead to a personal system that actually helps.However... for late-diagnosed autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD adults, the problem is rarely a shortage of information.Allostatic load, predictive processing, and variable executive function all play into why it's hard to get something new to repeat day to day. I get into why a regulated state can feel wrong to a nervous system used to dysregulation, why conventional advice like "just do it every day" doesn't work for many of us, and how attaching a new practice to something your body already does can potentially make a difference for certain things. I also cover external scaffolding, body doubling, co-regulation, and the social baseline research behind why a safer person in the room changes how the nervous system regulates.CHAPTERS:CHAPTERS:0:00 Why understanding your nervous system isn't enough0:23 How naming the experience lowers self-blame1:56 Allostatic load and the depleted resource pool3:51 Why feeling regulated can register as wrong5:20 Executive function as an unreliable daily resource6:45 What helps, and why a few minutes daily beats one hour a week8:00 The resilient zone9:46 The water canteen experiment12:14 Attaching practices to routines you already have14:10 External scaffolding and relational support17:31 Building this into your own life and where coaching fitsRESOURCES & LINKS:More on what I found in polyvagal theory: https://jendehaan.com/blog/is-polyvagal-theory-debunked-2026/Neurodivergent coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/coachingGroup Programs: https://jendehaan.com/offscript/ (introductory program coming soon, check site for other options in future)Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comPodcast version and regulation practice episodes: https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergentNewsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersAbout Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube and Spotify. The audio you are hearing in strategy episodes is taken from the video version, which is recorded both inside and outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:Neurodivergent coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/coachingGroup Programs: https://jendehaan.com/offscript/ (introductory program coming soon, check site for other options in future)Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comSupport the showLike this episode or show and want more? Support us with a one-time tip: https://learn.improvupdate.com/products/supportWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. You can support the shows by signing up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. We also have our tip form with them, and sell products on their platform. Easy, and they don't take a cut! Check Kit out and support the show using this: https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkSchedule posts? We use Metricool (reasonable for multiple accounts/brands/shows). Support us using our link: https://f.mtr.cool/VZBOZRAboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation and soon teacher training certification on community resilience. She has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resourcesFull Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimerThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

If you've sat through a body scan or regulation practice that didn't seem to work for you or your nervous system, or got asked to find an emotion in your chest and felt only nothing or experienced uncertainty or confusion or something similar to that, there are REASONS! And possible solutions, too. This is the what-to-do follow-up on interoception, and it walks through a body awareness practice that can start from a signal you can actually detect.Tuesday's episode (linked below) covered interoception, the nervous system's ability to read internal signals like heartbeat and hunger, along with alexithymia, the difficulty around identifying and describing emotions, both of which can run differently for a lot of neurodivergent people. Today is about what to do when your body doesn't hand over those signals in a usable form.I explain why the standard "notice it, then name it" instruction doesn't work well for brains with low interoceptive accuracy, and I walk through Tracking, a skill from my CRM (Community Resilience Model) training that doesn't include emotion-labelling by default and asks only whether a sensation is pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. I also cover how to adapt it to external signals like temperature, sound, and pressure when internal ones aren't available or arrive late.CHAPTERS:0:00 The body scan that comes up blank, and why0:35 Recap: interoception and alexithymia from Tuesday1:24 Today's question: what to do when signals aren't usable1:43 What the standard instruction actually asks of you2:55 Why the body scan stalls for a structural reason3:43 The shift from CRM training: Tracking4:33 Dropping the emotion label, noticing pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral5:29 If this resonates, a different starting point6:14 Adapting tracking: external signals, working inward, late signals8:35 What still works when the inward route doesn't, and where coaching helps9:22 A guided temperature version, plus practice coachingRESOURCES & LINKS:Tuesday's episode on interoception and alexithymia (video) https://youtu.be/ZIVvkk6eMQIPractice coaching and booking link: https://jendehaan.com/coachingBlog posts: https://jendehaan.comWired Divergent podcast (guided temperature-based practice): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergentNewsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersAbout Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube and Spotify. The audio you are hearing in strategy episodes is taken from the video version, which is recorded both inside and outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:Neurodivergent coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/coachingGroup Programs: https://jendehaan.com/offscript/ (introductory program coming soon, check site for other options in future)Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comSupport the showLike this episode or show and want more? Support us with a one-time tip: https://learn.improvupdate.com/products/supportWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. You can support the shows by signing up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. We also have our tip form with them, and sell products on their platform. Easy, and they don't take a cut! Check Kit out and support the show using this: https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkSchedule posts? We use Metricool (reasonable for multiple accounts/brands/shows). Support us using our link: https://f.mtr.cool/VZBOZRAboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation and soon teacher training certification on community resilience. She has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resourcesFull Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimerThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

Book with me! https://jendehaan.com/coaching"Listen to your body" shows up everywhere in wellness advice, and for about half of autistic adults it asks for something the nervous system might not be delivering in a usable format. Elevated in the ADHD community too. This is a look at interoception, alexithymia, and why body awareness instructions can leave some of us feeling kinda left out.I spent close to twenty years trying to feel what teachers, guides, and books kept describing, through meditation, yoga, mindfulness classes, and somatic workshops, and nothing transferred into a sensation I could locate or name. There's a reason for that, and it has a name.Interoception is how the nervous system detects and interprets internal signals like heartbeat, hunger, thirst, temperature, and the physical sensations we sometimes label as emotions, and it can run quite differently for a lot of neurodivergent people. In this episode I walk through the three dimensions of interoception, where alexithymia fits, what some of the research suggests about autism and emotion, and one small entry point you can try if "notice what's happening in your chest" has never worked for you.CHAPTERS:0:00 Why "listen to your body" assumes something0:33 Twenty years of trying to feel something2:27 What interoception is and its three dimensions4:59 How raw body data becomes emotion, and where alexithymia fits7:47 A somatic class where I still couldn't do the thing9:14 Why standard body awareness advice leaves some of us out10:42 Seeing myself in the research, and what I can sense12:48 An invitation to notice one signal you can detect13:21 What's next, plus practice coachingRESOURCES & LINKS:2015 study identifying three dimensions of interoception (accuracy, sensibility, awareness) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301051114002294Study on fewer than one in four healthy adults reliably detecting their own heartbeat under lab conditions https://www.researchgate.net/publication/309019285_Towards_a_psychophysics_of_interoceptive_processes_The_measurement_of_heartbeat_detection2019 meta-analysis on alexithymia rates in autistic and ADHD adults https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S09249338183017792016 data on matched alexithymia samples and interoceptive accuracy https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0010945216300594Alexithymia associated with interoceptive differences https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5824617/Wired Divergent podcast (guided regulation practices) https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergentPractice coaching and booking link https://jendehaan.comNewsletter signup https://jendehaan.com/newslettersCoaching for neurodivergents! https://jendehaan.com/coachingAbout Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube and Spotify. The audio you are hearing in strategy episodes is taken from the video version, which is recorded both inside and outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:Neurodivergent coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/coachingGroup Programs: https://jendehaan.com/offscript/ (introductory program coming soon, check site for other options in future)Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comSupport the showLike this episode or show and want more? Support us with a one-time tip: https://learn.improvupdate.com/products/supportWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. You can support the shows by signing up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. We also have our tip form with them, and sell products on their platform. Easy, and they don't take a cut! Check Kit out and support the show using this: https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkSchedule posts? We use Metricool (reasonable for multiple accounts/brands/shows). Support us using our link: https://f.mtr.cool/VZBOZRAboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation and soon teacher training certification on community resilience. She has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resourcesFull Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimerThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

Wired Divergent is a show about nervous system regulation built specifically for neurodivergent brains. If you've ever been told to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and check in with where you feel emotions in your body, and it made you feel worse instead of better, this show is about why that happens and what you might want to try instead. Jen deHaan is autistic and ADHD, and she's spent years studying and certifying in nervous system regulation, the Community Resilience Model, and neurodivergent somatics. The thing she kept running into was how many of the tools and frameworks in this space were designed for nervous systems that work differently from hers. The show covers functional freeze, autistic burnout, sensory overload, and the exhaustion that comes from a full day of pretending to be wired like everyone else, along with exercises designed for people who can't always sit still, close their eyes, or label their emotions.KEY TAKEAWAYS:Many standard nervous system regulation tools were designed for neurotypes that process differently from autistic and ADHD brains.Wired Divergent covers what the research supports and also what the research doesn't support.Episodes include follow-along exercises built for people who struggle with stillness, eye closure, or emotion labelling.The show covers functional freeze, autistic burnout, sensory overload, and masking exhaustion.CHAPTERS:00:00 When "check in with your body" makes things worse00:27 What Wired Divergent is about00:53 Topics the show covers01:15 What the exercises are designed for01:36 How to subscribe and find transcriptsRESOURCES: Community Resilience Model (CRM): https://www.traumaresourceinstitute.com/ Full show with transcripts and companion articles: jendehaan.comDISCLAIMER: Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources | Full Disclaimer. qmBDnlNXU6ek3mtbRMUuThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy