Worthless Clowns

We've missed you all!!! We've got pod updates for you! PLUS: Brittany's special is out this Tuesday October 21st 8pm (EST) on her YouTube! Watch it, share it, comment with clown emojis, tell your friends! And if you haven't subscribed yet, do it now: https://www.youtube.com/@brittonuscardwellThank you all for listening and we'll be back soon!

Ali unloads on an unsuspecting man about Tony Hawk Pro Skater, CYK, and Bam Margera. Brittany gets kidnapped at a Vegas bachelorette party by a Seinfeld enthusiast. A man tries to convince a woman he’s “normal” by jumping into a sprinkler. Memories of phd balance testing strips, embarrassing pillow talk, and The Joker.Brittany’s special is coming out SOON!!! Look out for it on her Youtube, and subscribe if you haven’t already! For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilWant your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Ali befriends a fellow fish tank owner, and roasts Ed Sheeran and Harvard, bigtime. Brittany keeps mistaking Jenna Ortega for her nephew, and holds a stingray by the lips. Laura Loomer gets PUNK’D. Memories of minigolf strategy, trying Kibbles N Bits, and waiting for the other shoe to drop.For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay 

Our very good friend Kelly Taylor joins us!! Kelly blacks out, then wakes up outside her situationship’s house. Ali’s having trouble laughing with a pulled rib muscle, and Brittany’s bathroom ceiling collapses. Memories of answering the phone “this is she”, hating showers, and guys with records. Follow Kelly @hellothisiskelly and check out her pod “I feel fat today”! For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Brittany gets falsely accused of cheating on a math test based entirely on her poorly written 4s. Ali is introduced to an acquaintance and immediately bullies him into submission. A man obsessed with the psychology of clapping puts his theories to the test and gets ripped to shreds in peer review. Memories of bonding with dads over terrible New York apartments, the best side of the bed, and the Dean Scream. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay 

Ali delivers a Powerpoint presentation about her worst f-boy experience to a bunch of inexperienced bachelorettes. Brittany’s mother got bored of documenting her children’s experiences after the first child, and it shows. A man gets a job after farting in the Zoom interview. Memories of doing the Polka, elementary school gun training, and the joy of glitter. RAT NEWS: Brittany dreams she has a senior rat as a pet. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay 

Joe Nunnink joins us!! Joe sh*ts his pants in a sea of middle school kids, demolishes his giant Lego castle in a rage, and discovers he has an evil super power. Brittany learns that all horses have autism, and Ali goes through many phases before landing on goth. Memories of Ghost Adventures, flushing fish down the toilet, and the Inspector Gadget McDonald’s Toy.Follow Joe @nunnigram and check out his special “Keep the Change” on Youtube. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Ali gets reprimanded for doing the Napoleon Dynamite dance at a talent show. Brittany keeps getting blasted back into a memory of that one time she felt cool at the library. RAT NEWS: lady octopuses are throwing rocks at dude octopuses they don’t want to sleep with. Memories of “Sean de Paul”, the “what fruit is my baby” app, and taking SAT and LSATs for fun. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Ali’s eating shit in rollerblading class and taking restaurant rules way too literally. Brittany’s getting harassed by a reptile enthusiast and dates a man with a record number of red flags. A young man makes an entirely gray gender reveal cake. RAT NEWS: a garbage city in New Bedford collapses, creating a huge rat-housing problem. Memories of Physics for Babies, screaming at game nights, and Lucky Charms all smashed up.For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay 

Lucia Whalen (What a Waste Pod) joins us!! Lucia’s at a wedding stealing the show with her medically-bad sunburn, and demands that everyone please stop talking about the Titanic. Ali’s listening to It’s Raining Men on repeat, and Brittany’s cheerleading with girls half her age. RAT NEWS: how rats taught us about love addiction. Memories of The SS Edmond Fitzgerald, compost alarms, and falling into manholes. Follow Lucia @luciawhalen, and check out her pod @whatawastepodFor clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Ali’s butt-out in goth makeup, capsizing a kayak. Brittany’s roasting her brother’s love of lambs, hate of broken brownies, and letters to mommy and daddy. A relationship gets rocky when a woman refuses to eat an orange, peel and all. Memories of reading bedtime Tik Toks, celebrity pilots, and Where’s Waldo (the lizard version).For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

We decide on our couple’s name, it’s: Briali. Ali’s at Jesus camp using a tampon wrong and pretending it didn’t just fall out into the pool. For Christmas, Brittany and her brothers buy their uncle only a Meatloaf CD. A man gets revenge by planting gnomes in the neighbors yard. Memories of putting garter snakes in pockets, fake exercise, and dogs checking their notifications. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay 

Our good friend, Steven Rogers (Colbert), joins us for his induction into the Repeat-guest Hall of Fame. Steven’s newly single, (not) approaching women reading books, commenting on their Rick James jackets, and wishing he could introduce himself by listing his TV credits. Memories of monkeys writing Shakespeare, women’s cyclic mating preferences, and piles of buttons. Check out Steven’s brand new special, “Half of We” on Nateland (YouTube) and check him out on his previous episode of our pod! Follow Steven @stevenrogerscomedy. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay 

Ali has a life changing dream about a celebrated family of inventors called “The Poops.” Brittany is 8 years old, failing hard at pretending not to have a horse obsession. A woman accidentally gets a tattoo of her mother in a coconut bra. Memories of putting Garter snakes in pockets, dog fundraisers and giant dog beds, and the devastating plot of Black Beauty.For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Ali’s brother takes a risk making small chat with dudes in a dark sauna. Brittany’s college roommate makes their dorm room into a depression sanctuary. RAT NEWS: We discover which rats we are! A man thinks marriage is about having someone to put your C-PAP machine away. Memories of Seinfeld Club, putting cats in the sink, and dad jokes about whittling.  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Shaunak Godkhindi (Don't Tell Comedy) is our special guest!! Shaunak is on a date in his pajamas at Taco Bell, missing every single sign this girl is into him. Brittany is sick of being told she has bangs now, and Ali lashes out about a woman’s big feet. Memories of men putting lint on women, bird murmurs, and practicing agency.Follow Shaunak @shaunakg, and go see him at a show!! For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Brittany gets ASMR from a Nick Cave concert, and sends a foreboding message to everyone she knows. Ali adds to her frog collection every time she gets sad,  and is convinced she’s developing a relationship with Cris Angel (mind freak). A mother expects everyone on the train to entertain her child. Memories of Ali’s Red Right Hand, the Bin Laden Song, and men with no object permanence. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Brittany’s brother makes her cry just by saying “GECKO.” Ali and her work friend switch shirts and are the only ones laughing about it. A woman accidentally sends a picture of her butt crack to her manager. Memories of James from Love On the Spectrum yawning, crooked phones, and Wendy Williams talking about “The Killer”.For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay 

Ali witnesses a man projectile vomit onto himself, and hooks up with the entire rugby team. Brittany’s brother regrets playing Pretty Pretty Princess and painting his toenails. A relationship is tested by a collection of porcelain clowns. Memories of Squiggies Gay Bar, ice cream trucks with beats, and Tony Braxton’s Unbreak My Heart. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Ali and Brittany start two separate pods about fish and horses. Ali turns her room into an immersive fish tank experience. Brittany gets called “ISIS” by a man with a Trump impression. A monster cockroach frees himself from the toilet by climbing up a man’s shit. Memories of dogs being put down at Petco, Prince Ali Fabulous He, and shrimp writing term papers. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Ali accidentally flashes the UPS guy. Brittany’s serious conversation with her boyfriend gets interrupted by a brand new set of fake boobs. A woman severely misinterpret’s her gynecologist’s comments about her cat. Memories of Guys Talkin In Rooms, Bad Baby, and black hole documentaries. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

We’ve got a special guest this week: it’s Lucas Connolly (Comedy Central)!! Lucas tries to lose his virginity through an elaborate craigslist ad, but loses an object inside himself instead. Brittany gets fooled into thinking some birds sound like babies and machine guns, and Ali’s aquarium obsession grows. Memories of Gillette vibrating razors for men, birds quoting Seinfeld, and the fear of holding newborns. Follow Lucas @lovablelucas1 and check out @ambushcomedy when you’re in town!! Look out for Lucas’ special dropping on YouTube in the coming months. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Ali craves the respect of a man who pisses his pants every day on Tik Tok, and gets swallowed by a snake. Brittany clogs the hotel toilet, pees her pants at a sleepover, and almost dies at the gesturing hands of her Uber driver. HR acuses one of its employees of eating animal remains. Memories of Brittany trying to be really angry, the McDonalds Triad, and sleeping inside whales. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Ali and her boyfriend get hit by a car on Valentine’s day and all they want is an apology. Brittany’s terrible childhood dog poops his way into the afterlife. Ali fears getting a DUI just for not knowing the alphabet backwards, and Brittany and her death metal boyfriend run from the cops for no reason at all. A listener saves his hamsters with CPR. Memories of pimple videos behind paywalls, bombing in the mirror, and Sacajawea coins. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Gabby Jordan Brown (Two Nosy Meerkats pod) joins us!! Gabby does some bad Facebook detective work, fails to connect with a woman over a chicken photo, and has a front tooth missing for months. Ali’s high on J-train paint fumes, and Brittany has a pick up artist’s bad diagrams seared into her brain. Memories of the Kennedy family’s medical problems, Mary Poppins, and growing boobs. Follow Gabby @hipsoccermom and keep your eyes peeled for her special coming out soon! For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Brittany has a crush on the prettiest girl in school, and reminisces on the first time she saw a cow take a dump. Ali ruins Fridays for interns with her lava lamp, and cannot stop looking at restaurant stickers. A man gets whipped by the wings of a goose MMA fighter. Memories of impressing boys with Eminem lyrics, laptop dancing, and the bottoms of totem poles. For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Ali stops being a vegetarian so that she’s free to become a vampire, and shares her new special interest in fish tanks. Brittany’s parents tricked her into thinking she might one day own a horse, a car, or even a chair. A woman’s hyper-religious parents stalk her Spotify to make sure she’s not listening to witch music. RAT NEWS: a parrot and dogs join a death metal band. Memories of our subpoena friendship necklaces, Ludacris, and NPR storytelling voice.For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Brittany goes to Monster Jam, and is beefing up to catch a predator. Ali gets scammed by two plumbers who are scared of her dog. A man eats 116 eggs and can no longer experience joy. Memories of nu metal poses, battle bots, and Peanut Butter and the Apple Jams Gang.For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] music by Adam Turay

Mike Brown (Comedy Central, PBS) is our special guest this week! Mike regrets begging for love, and eats his Snickers different. Ali riffs with her gynecologist and tests her boyfriend’s pap smear knowledge. Brittany keeps hiding body parts in her dreams. Memories of the Pringle crunch, crushing on Ryan Gosling, and men knowing nothing about their friends. Follow Mike @yomikebrown! For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneilRate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us [email protected] music by Adam Turay 

Ali ceremoniously quits nicotine by clogging her toilet with her vape. Brittany puts her life in the hands of an ultrasound technician obsessed with numerology. A man drafts a novella about accidentally taking a dump on a tent. Memories of men lecturing women about WW1, exploding Gusher heads, and old cell phone tech . RAT NEWS: watch out! they’re popping bubbles and nesting in cars! For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

We’re getting this friendship notarized!!! Brittany’s on the train getting flashed secret messages from a strange man, and getting rejected by the fire department for a cat rescue. Ali accidentally gets a goth Karen haircut, and talks to a man she respects about Phish. A man accidentally invites all the neighborhood cats to his rave. Memories of Birthday Guy #2, hotdog and hamburger style, and going to court as friends.  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Carmen Lagala (Colbert, Don’t Tell) joins us! Carmen’s figuring out where she’s at on the Bristol stool chart, throwing up juice, and hitting on mascots. Ali cures her adult mono with Fun Dip and Jackass. Brittany tries way too hard to be accepted at Buffalo Exchange and Godfathers Pizza. Memories of public proposals, pledge of allegiance, and making-out hands. Follow Carmen @carmstagrams, and check out her special “Sweet Batch” on YouTube.  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Ali’s dad reprimands her for creating a straw-based religious stereotype. Brittany joins a terrorist group of boys from middle school math class. A man rips up his girlfriend’s hand-made blanket for attention. Memories of Nair, counting songs, and Pavlov’s gun (dog). Plus RAT NEWS: rat fights, rat shoes, and crime rats! For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Ali spends xmas shooting cans with pellet guns, and gifting piss bottles. Brittany’s dad is “reborn” after watching Wicked, and Ali’s dad tries to connect by wearing an apron with a pig on it. A man spends 21 years of his life believing it’s normal to have a “poop knife”. Memories of Brittany’s nephew already knowing everything, rambling prayers, and amateur hand modeling.  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay  

Jake Silberman joins us!! Jake is flipping cop cars, comforting women on trains, and tracking dog shit into band class. Ali and Brittany finally grow out of their bad boy phase. Memories of the Evergreen Five, terrible exes, and crying in New York. Follow Jake @thecomedianjake and check out his special “Live In Portland” on Youtube! For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany walks on eggshells at a Tokyo cat cafe with 1000 rules. Ali defends the Fighting Irish and gets invited to a dog birthday party. A man criticizes his girlfriend’s cooking via powerpoint, and then is dumped via powerpoint. Memories of washing elephants, YouTube parties, and men who smirk. This week’s RAT NEWS: we find out what a rat king ship captain would look like.  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

We accidentally manifest getting mugged by two teenagers, BIG TIME! Brittany falls in love with a game that lets her practice lying. Ali’s brother and boyfriend connect through songs about butts and piss. Memories of Toby Keith’s 911 song, protective siblings, and the Little Mermaid’s bra.  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Throwback ep!! Shane Torres (Conan, Comedy Central) joins us!! We turn into The Korn Pod. Shane is impressed by a bread-throwing child. Brittany tries to hatch chickens with blankets and cure cancer with snot. Ali’s impression of Brittany is Brittany’s impression of Ali. A man tries too hard to answer a “guess what” question and gets punished with reading assignments. Follow Shane @shanetorres, and check out his podcast: No Accounting For Taste. For clips and pics, follow the pod on instagram @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

James Coburn joins us!! James loses complete control of his life and his bowels, wakes up bald and vulnerable, and overcomes it all with a Walgreens purchase. Ali learns what skid marks are, and Brittany gets a 20 year old life-coach. Memories of spending all day building a dresser, the toilet shower trick, and stolen heart worm medication.  Follow James @humantabasco and check out his special on Youtube, “Not Killing It.”  Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Ali loses the respect of her roommates after inviting a stray cat in, and sending too many Teletubbies gifs. Brittany’s noise band friend cannot bring himself to vomit on stage. A man tries to impress his job interviewers in the worst way. This week’s RAT NEWS: rats who vape, rats used as insulation, and sacrifices of rats in war. Memories of Dr Kwan PhD, imaginary horses, and drooling for an audience. Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Ali gets a black eye for her loud outfit, and loses her senior year talent show to a man playing Thrift Shop on the trombone. Brittany’s friend is convinced his girlfriend is cheating on him with a man that’s exactly like him. A woman has to take a mental health day after learning where chocolate milk really comes from. Memories of hating clarinets, men asking where North is, and the Apparently Kid. Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay  

Ali’s dad takes it upon himself to protect the neighborhood from crime and steal his daughter’s jokes. Brittany’s indulging in sadness and shit talking herself for her womanhood. An outstanding hamster death story from a friend of the pod!! A boss forces his employee to show him his “droppings”. Memories of dogs in cones, Uncle Kracker, and moms in Facebook comments.  Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

We’re joined by special guest Andrea Allan (Respectfully pod)!! Andrea ask her crush to prom, gets rejected, then resorts to infiltrating his unconscious. Brittany thinks Comic-Con is Ramadan. Ali finally orders a wallet chain, and cries to her mom about smoking weed. Memories of makeshift bongs, rehearsing conversations with boys, and failing to get into a threesome.  Follow Andrea @andreacomedy69, and check out her podcast, “Respectfully” with co-host and friend of the pod, Lizzy Cassidy!  Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany gets stuck in her lucid dreams, and gets scolded by a very disappointed man. Ali’s camera roll is full of dog pictures but not the kind you’d expect. This week, we read listener emails!: venmo scamming, getting directed from the pod to a help hotline, dogs discovering sex toys, and crazy run ins with ex high school teachers. Memories of Bush vs Gore, Phoenix sucking, and DOH violations. Plus, RAT NEWS!  Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany witnesses New York’s annual bird conference, and is super disappointed by a log simulation. Ali’s aunt’s dog murders an entire family of Guinea pigs. A woman severely misinterprets a compliment during a butt hair removal procedure. Memories of girl push ups, flying chairs, and deathclock.com For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany’s convinced her head is filled with ear wigs. Ali learns to love her new vape, and accidentally goes extremist on the store attendant. TOP 10 MOST INTENSE HAMSTER DEATHS OF ALL TIME. Memories of learning how to wiggle your ears, PT Cruisers, and cute defective pets.  GET TICKETS TO OUR SHOW THIS WEEK!  MOTORCYCLE HORSE, Oct 10th 9pm at QED (Astoria), tickets at QEDastoria.com Ali, Brittany do half hours of standup, hosted by Ashlynn Salzano.  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

We accidentally plagiarize the Discovery Channel for 30 full minutes, and write a commercial for Ozempic. Brittany’s stuck in the gift cycle of abuse, and has a teen bird in her apartment. Ali thinks she’ll die washing her face in the shower, and meets a man who’s obsessed with IDs. A boyfriend is frustrated at his girlfriend’s continuous prank. Memories of puking sea cucumbers, otters in loving relationships, and an aggressive horse.  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Special guest Courtney Maginnis (Comedy Central) joins us!! Courtney sh*ts her American Apparel leggings, more than once. Brittany gets accused of stealing spoons,  Ali’s mom slams chicken soup into the toilet bowl, and a man loses his valuable collection of McChickens. Memories of losing cars, chaotic Thanksgivings, and imaginary gas leaks.  Follow Courtney @courtmaginnis, her pod @iloveyoubutyourmusicsucks, and watch out for her special coming out soon! For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay  

Brittany gets punched in the face by an automatic umbrella, can’t comprehend Wordle, and gets scammed BIG TIME. Ali gets reprimanded for listening to loud music by an old man she dated. Super religious parents are disappointed in their teens for making fake money off strippers in Grand Theft Auto. Memories of stupid goats, the Marx Brothers, and bad forms.  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay

Introducing a new segment: RAT NEWS!! Brittany thinks horses are afraid of heights, and accidentally feeds her best friend glass. Ali is in a 12 person van surrounded by drag queens. A boyfriend reprimands his girlfriend for giving thoughtful and practical gift. Memories of Snoop’s reaction to dressage, water fights, and huge women’s wallets.  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube! Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected] theme music by Adam Turay