Your Favorite Band Sucks
by Your Favorite Band Sucks
Become a Paid Subscriber: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/subscribeLet’s review: there’s no good art and it’s a red flag for adults to have a favorite band. Naturally, most of you will disagree. That's fine. Just pretend it's a drinking game. An algorithm randomly assigns the band Mark & Tyler destroy in every episode. Start on one everybody knows is trash, like The Beatles. But soon you'll realize culture is a pyramid scheme and your favorite band is just the soundtrack to a fake vintage t-shirt. (Get Ad-Free Episodes Here: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/subscribe)
Episodes
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Frank Zappa Sucks
Whether or not humor belongs in music, Frank Zappa doesn't. It is an objective fact that he didn't even want to be making this trash, so why are you listening to it? Oh, you're in on the joke. Cool, cool. That must be fun to say out loud to yourself while listening to Zappa albums since no other...
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Eminem Sucks, Part 4
We know what you're thinking. How could this possibly be the last episode in the podcast's series on Eminem? There's still so much left to talk about regarding the past 20 years of his career, right? Yeeeaaaahhhh, no, not really. You haven't seen or heard anyone outside of a message board bring…
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Eminem Sucks, Part 3
By now you already know what the deal is. Here's the third installment in our podcast's series on the most over-rated rapper in history, Eminem. After taking you through the early days when he accused other rappers of faking freestyles while doing it himself, then accused everyone else of "just...
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Eminem Sucks, Part 2
Oh boy, it's time for Part 2 of What Would Happen If the T-Shirt Rack at Spencer's Gifts Started Rapping and a Bunch of Morons Decided It Was a Top 5 MC of All Time! Just in case there are any, like, extra dumb people reading this, obviously you should make sure to listen to Part 1 of this series...
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Eminem Sucks, Part 1
Yo, yo, yo, yo! What it is, homeys?! Y'all heard of this phenomenal rap star who rhymes all these insanely shocking things nobody else would dare to say and used to be a total killer on the freestyle battle rap scene? Yeah, bruh! The Emliest of Ems, Slim Shady! Alright, just kidding. It's us.…
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Christmas Music Sucks: Part 6, The Voicemail Episode
Alright, this is the sixth freakin' time we've done one of these things so you shouldn't need much in the way of an introduction. Y'all know what it is. But wait... Could there be any surprises in this latest installment of our great podcast tradition? Listen and learn!
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SOUNDGARDENSUCKS
This holiday season we thought it would be nice to bring back a truly deep, old-school Q4 discount by taking 100% off the value of Soundgarden, one of the most overrated bands of all time. If the dude with the microphone is just going to scream all the time then shouldn't the music be heavier?…
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Cream Sucks
Please consider this episode of the podcast your one-time-only, always-true, get-it-tattooed-somewhere-on-your-body-and-never-worry-about-new-facts-coming-to-light reminder: you do not under any circumstances need to hand it to the band Cream. Forget every stupid Boomer joke you've ever heard…
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The 1975 Sucks
If you’ve heard of The 1975 but aren’t really sure where, they’re the British one with the lead singer who’s been giving everyone a different reason to hate him every week or so for the past few years. Meanwhile Mark and Tyler hate the whole band because they’ve never released a good song, which...
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Bob Seger Sucks
Please, for the love of all that is decent in the world, leave those old records on the shelf, Bob! Even if the music you grew up on was once half as cool as you seem to think - which it wasn't - and even if you yourself were once half as cool as you seem to think - which you definitely weren't -...
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The Weeknd Sucks
You know, it really was a great question... What if there was a new R&B singer pop star who represented modern attitudes toward sexual inhibition and general debauchery? Too bad we still don't have an answer because at this point it's pretty extremely clear The Weeknd is and has always been a…
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Avenged Sevenfold Sucks
Every person who's gonna get mad about this episode was a member of the final generation to still believe all the time they spent hanging out at the mall as a teenager was awesome and literally any of the things they think they learned about music at that mall were/are valid. So right away…
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Alice in Chains Sucks
Is it possible this is the Actual Most Depressing Grunge Band out of all the depressing grunge bands to ever exist? Turns out some bands never recover from finding out they aren't good enough to make it in hair metal. But that only explains how a group of guys could wind up making music this...
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Simon & Garfunkel Sucks
Was this musical partnership a timeless classic or a barely functional soap opera nearly running off the rails at every turn? Simon & Garfunkel were a great example of why it should be illegal for pop culture media to refer to musical artists as "geniuses." It's only a matter of time before even...
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Sigur Rós Sucks
Ever wonder what it would be like if baby talk could become a whole band? Wonder no longer, friends, because it already happened. Some of you already know who Sigur Rós is. (Or, really, at this point, "was.") The rest of you are going to think Mark and Tyler are entirely fabricating this band…
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A.I. Music Sucks
BREAKING: we interrupt your daily doomscroll with an emergency broadcast addressing the use of A.I. technology in music! It's impossible to keep up with all the new developments. Every day seems to bring more stories of a new way A.I. is going to change everything we think we know about music by,...
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NSYNC Sucks
Just when you thought the '90s Boy Band Fandom Wars were over, the podcast pulls you back in! Take a trip with us to the past. Every college freshman either has frosted tips or a nipple ring - and those are just the guys. The sound blasting out of every dorm room is another slight variation on...
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Wilco Sucks
Look, if you're not sitting there wondering "who in the hell is Wilco?" then you're old enough to've lived through the press cycle for their Yankee Hotel Foxtrot LP and, for that reason, you always knew to expect this episode. Somehow coasting on twenty-something year old, empty hype, there's…
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Ticketmaster Sucks (and so does Pearl Jam, Taylor Swift, Bruce Springsteen, Radiohead, Beyonce, Metallica...)
"Ooooh, Ticketmaster Sucks... Tell me something I don't know!" Okay, smart guy. Everyone knows Ticketmaster is everything that's wrong with the concert industry, right? Well, maybe just go ahead and forget whatever you think you know about how concerts work because the fact is a lot of people…
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Lynyrd Skynyrd Sucks
Yep, this is the official favorite band of every moron who wants to yell something at a concert even though they don't have anything original to say. (Don't worry about any of them getting mad at this, though. They literally can't read.) Skynyrd is just one of many reasons it's too bad there…
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Cat Stevens Sucks
Settle in, young 'uns, and listen to a tale about the time an entire generation of rubes fell for the nonsense nursery rhyme stylings of a faux hippie who literally woke up one day and used his adult brain to decide his name should be Cat Stevens. How many times do you think this guy was called…
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Christmas Music Sucks: Part 5
Life happens so we had to skip the last one but the traditional YFBS anti-Christmas episode is needed this year more than ever. Question: how many of you at this point in 2022 feel like you've already had Christmas marketed to you for two entire months and we still have most of December to go...
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Dream Theater Sucks
We disperse this episode unto the wilderness not so that we may receive countless responses from peasants who "never even heard of these guys lol" and somehow believe that means they should be doing anything other than shutting the hell up when kings do talk of music. Nay! This broadcast shall...
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Bon Iver Sucks
According to certain ancient pagan religions, bon iver translates to "world ender," which is fitting because this dude has single-handedly destroyed like three different genres of music - and he only had to sacrifice five or six elk in the middle of a frozen forest to do it! Have you ever…
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The Jimi Hendrix Experience Sucks
Don't even act like this episode coming out is the end of the world or something. Jimi Hendrix Experience is one of the most overrated boomer nostalgia acts in history and the only reason you think acknowledging that is blasphemy is because you've sacrificed the ability to judge for yourself in...
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Sunny Day Real Estate Sucks
Sure, if crying was an Olympic team sport then maybe it would have been theoretically possible for Sunny Day Real Estate to do something that mattered. But even if crying was an Olympic team sport then Sunny Day Real Estate would still need to have been able to remain a team long enough to get to...
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Maroon 5 Sucks
BREAKING NEWS: Today we interrupt our regular schedule to release an emergency update on the currently developing Maroon 5 situation. As fans of the podcast have come to expect, your trusted correspondents delve into the story and report nothing but the truth. These are the facts you won't…
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21 Pilots Suck
How did this even work? Oh, the plan is obvious - recycle all the late '90s/early '00s angst of grunge and nu-metal with a twist of 311 and pretend you have no idea any of that stuff ever existed so people think you've come original - but, like, how did that work? Today we'll get into these and...
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T. Rex Sucks
There are only two types of music that have this many "fa la la la la"s in the lyrics, T. Rex songs and Christmas songs, and it's still summertime so you know this ain't no Christmas episode. Nevertheless, we come bearing a gift: clear-eyed analysis of one of the most infantile, overrated and...
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The Talking Heads Suck
Oh, no! Not an episode on baby's first "smart" band! Yeah, that's right, folks. They said it couldn't be done. They said it wouldn't be done. Well, we already done damn did it. Go grab your most over-sized suit and bugged out eyes and get ready to jog in place for half an hour because that's…
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The Chainsmokers Suck
You do at least have to give The Chainsmokers credit for figuring out how to pander to the absolute lowest common denominator of people who pretend to care about music but, that being said, holy hell are these songs the worst thing you've ever heard or what? How is it actually legal to suck this...
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Taylor Swift Sucks
Well, we keep getting requests for more country episodes so today we decided to talk about a true, bonafide country legend, Taylor Swift. Usually we can't find many nice things to say on the podcast but what an authentic and legendary artist. Swifties are sure to love this one.
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AC/DC Sucks
How shocked would you be if anyone in this band was able to explain to explain alternating or direct currents? That's right, folks. AC/DC is the soundtrack of being a complete dumbass. If chimpanzees could make rock music, it would be smarter than AC/DC. Actually, wait... Has anyone ever tried to...
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Phish Sucks
A lot of people have asked us why Phish wasn't the very first episode of this podcast. Well, do you really need us to tell you that Phish is one of the worst bands on the planet? No, you don't. What you need is for us to tell you why Phish is one of the worst bands on the planet, so that's…
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The Cure Sucks
If only you'd thought of the right words to say, you could have prevented us from doing this episode. Unfortunately, your favorite band is The Cure, which means you know exactly how much you deserve the punishment you're in store for today. What will it be, then? Cherrypicking and criticizing a…
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Black Flag Sucks
You're not alone and you're not crazy. All anyone has to do is listen to any 5 Black Flag songs to confirm this has always been a terrible band. Everybody's just afraid to say it. Maybe since you can't leave your house without seeing that logo, everyone assumes a ton of people must be listening…
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Ryan Adams Sucks
Is Ryan Adams' music great? Or was he the guy who paved the way for Ed Sheeran? If only there were two professional music listeners to lay out the answers! Oh, wait, that's us. This is the first episode we almost titled "Ryan Adams Sucked," past tense, because we're about to prosecute this dude's...
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Van Halen Sucks
By pretty much any metric you want to choose, Van Halen was one of the worst bands of all time. This is the soundtrack to getting dumb, being dumb and staying dumb. Literally every fictional band from a movie about a band made better music than Van Halen. This is the musical equivalent of mixing...
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BTS Sucks
If you're anything like us, at some point in the past few years you've asked the question "What in the hell is a BTS and why are all these kids talking about it?" Well, the difference between us and you is we are professionals, so we found out what a BTS is and, friends, it is not good. In fact,...
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Coldplay Sucks
Ever since we opened up 5-star reviews on Apple Podcasts to requests, there've been a few bands who are by far requested above all others. We can't do all those episodes right away because you've always got to keep the crowd wanting more but, every now and then, it comes time to give the people...
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YouTube Comments Suck
Nobody asked for it but we have to deal with it so now you do, too! Today, Mark and Tyler sit down to read the best YouTube comments left over the past few years. And by "best," we mean 99% of them are horrible because YouTube comments are one of the worst places on the Internet. Enjoy!
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David Bowie Sucks
David Bowie is perhaps the most successful con artist of all time. You wanna hear about someone who got away with straight up grifting for like 50 years? Today we're talking about a guy who probably would have committed infanticide if someone told him it was the only way he could ever become...
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The Replacements Suck
So here's a thought: you're legitimately a sadist if this is your favorite band. There has never been a greater real life example of a million monkeys in a room with typewriters accidentally reproducing Shakespeare's body of work, except The Replacements only took four humans hating how bad they...
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Frank Sinatra Sucks
Well, well, well... After several years of sidebar potshots in so many episodes, it is finally time for the original fuckboy pop singer to take a turn in the spotlight. And, look, we're not even going to do that usual thing where we pretend a bunch of fans are going to get pissed off about this...
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Death Grips Sucks
If P.T. Barnum had lived to hear Death Grips, he'd have updated to quote to say there are 10 suckers born every minute because there hasn't been such a successful grift as this in the music business since at least the Sex Pistols. The "music" is obviously unlistenable because the music is always...
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Joy Division Sucks
It is undeniably tragic that so many people believe a trendy t-shirt design equates to good music. And you'd think doing an episode on Tool-for-sad-kids would be too depressing to be anyone's idea of a good time but this was such a bad "band" on every level that it actually pushes past the...
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RIP Music
None of your other trusted sources of news were doing their jobs so it's once more up to the Joint Chiefs of Stuff to come correct with the scoop: music has officially been scheduled for extinction. Oh, you haven't heard how things are going at Rolling Stone magazine right now? You haven't…
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Justin Bieber Sucks
"EvERyONe ALrEadY kNoWs juSTin BiEBer suCks!" That's you. And what you should be doing instead is shutting the hell up and pressing play because a) we're hilarious and b) you'll probably learn some stuff, smartypants.
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YFBS Trailer
A trailer for everyone who can't grasp the importance of this podcast from the title alone.
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Pearl Jam Sucks
First of all, none of you are prepared for how many of your friends are secret Pearl Jam fans. Go look up this band's sales figures. You think it's just everyone you've never met buying copies of these albums? Wake up, people! Not only is Pearl Jam's music terrible, they are parasitic masterminds...
About this show
Become a Paid Subscriber: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/subscribeLet’s review: there’s no good art and it’s a red flag for adults to have a favorite band. Naturally, most of you will disagree. That's fine. Just pretend it's a drinking game. An algorithm randomly assigns the band Mark & Tyler destroy in every episode. Start on one everybody knows is trash, like The Beatles. But soon you'll realize culture is a pyramid scheme and your favorite band is just the soundtrack to a fake vintage t-shirt. (Get Ad-Free Episodes Here: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/subscribe)
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Your Favorite Band Sucks
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