All Episodes
Burn Before Reading — 138 episodes
An Accomplished Young Lady (She's 12)
Pasta Salad and Pride Month Are Both Intersectional
You're Scaring Me But I'm Still Gonna Give You Some Baby Carrots
The Kissing Beth
You Probably Regret That When We Met You Were Maceless
Gossip About My Friends and Kesha Lyrics
Yarh?
She's Not Like Other Dogs
If Not Hysteria Then Definitely Tuberculosis
Dear God: Hello
She's a Dumb Bitch and So Are We
Made Me Want a Hearse So Frickin Bad
I Recognize the Chipmunk Analogy
"Asshole" Was My First-Ever Swear
Papá Will Take Any Suggestions from the Crowd
The Return of Lil LeeLee
F/F is for Fan/Fic
That Woman Is a Woman!
Christian Grey Wears Jeans and Edward Cullen Wears Khakis
This Blows Like a Mother
English Majors: Doing It For the Money
The Moans of Moria
No One More Beautiful and Vibrant Than a Dead Mom
Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe (Butthole Edition)
It Would Be Really Sad If You Ate Your Baby Right Now
I'm Trying to Go to Candycane Falls and Bone Down
Horny for Bubble Letters
I Remember When I Got My First Thesaurus
Thanksgiving Etymology Interlude
Kellan Lutz's Wig Is Completely Unforgivable
That's What Lobotomies Are For
Brooke, This Episode's for You
I Think Bella Is a Pillow Princess
Crushes on the Neopets Fairies
Burn After Reading Preview: I'm Gonna Go Talk to the Dragon, See If I Care
They Have Ruined Everything Including Yapping
These People Don't Read the Books
Do Better Than the Folk Storytellers of Old
I Could Just Completely Rip Off Peter Pan
Bring All Your Underwear
My Least Favorite Part of 9/11
Mooses Just Don't Care
Robert Pitterman Getting Cucked
She Can't Give Cwedit
We Have Evanescence at Home
Okay B*tch, Maybe Find a Zest for Life
The Virgin Slayer
A Completely Bare Room with Literally Nothing in It
I Pledge Allegiance to the Pod
A Hot Topic Gift Card
Sherlock Holmes Doesn't Care About Our Place in the Universe
Burn After Reading Preview: Gold, God, and Gloryholes
I Specifically Asked You Not to Be Slutty Tonight
A Horse of a Young Colonial Colonist
Marble Balls, Don't Forget
I Wasn't Even Attracted to Jesus
Who Charted?
A Butchy Blazer and a Bowler Hat
Bitch Who Writes in Book
Girl, Leave Him and Go to Another Planet
We Won't Have a Mall Goth in This Family!
I Will Not Grow a Goatee
2 Women in Their 30s Failing SAT Prep
The Rupi Kaur Effect on Lesbians
Firing Misogynists and Uplifting Women (UNLOCKED Patreon bonus episode)
An Unfunny Episode About Neil Gaiman
Uh-Oh, She IS Like Other Girls!
This Is a Song About Sexuality in Southern Literature
New Season, New Moon (Where the Hell Have You Been, Becca?)
Burn After Reading Preview: All My Boyfriends Looked Exactly Like Michael Cera
New Year New Moon (What Are We Doing Here, Stephanie?)
Charles Dickens Got Himself Into a Pickle
Jingle My Balls
Burn After Reading Preview: Ghosts, If You're Listening, Please Start Haunting Billionaires
Pancakes Will Kill Us All
Not Like Those Boob Girls
THROWBACK: She Wants His Ice PP
Slap a Blonde Wig on Him and Call Him Mary Sue
I Must Bid You A Dew
Burn After Reading Preview: Slut in Truck!!!
The Year Without a Summer
Dr. Seuss Abuse
We're Rich and We Collect Teeth
The Princess of Sarasota
Burn After Reading Preview: You're a Total Wollstonecraft
I Just Had a Music-Theater-Gasm
The Comedy Roast of Christina Kann
Help! I'm Too Pretty
9/11 Spectacular Extravaganza
He/Him/Sexy
Burn After Reading Preview: Methinks We Saw Some Dark Times
Exhibit F
Not Another Hair Flip
Lil LeeLee
Title Credits Go to Linkin Park
Patreon Preview! Burn After Reading: Omg a POET? Bring Him to the King!
Preps Can't Do Sarcasm
Hot Abusive Daddies Near You
We All Had Braces and Skin Back Then
I Haven't Had to Smell Axe in 15 Years
Burn After Reading Preview: No One More Beautiful and Vibrant than a Dead Mom
We Were Reading the Bible
Let's Do This Again and Forget About Our Husbands
That Would Be So Gay of Us If We Were Gay
Have You Ever Watched Someone Ruin Their Own Life?
Assist Me Deeper!
Piping Hot Eighth Grade Tea
Cheese Is So Not Hardcore
Emotion Is a Fad That Comes && Goes
Happy Hunting, You Dirty Graverobber, You!
Rock Opera Emo Ballad
I Cannot Believe How Jealous You Are of Siberia
Sometimes the Ick Is Inside You
She Wants His Ice PP
I Got Sent to Counseling for My Belief in Dragons
Mother, I Crave Violence
He Didn't Get Laid in High School Because His Mom Didn't Make Cookies
I Was Big with Local Youth Groups
The Straight Ship Was a Real Twist
Sorry I Told the Internet You Were Bad at Kissing
Christy's Guide to Living for Your Soul
Oil Up and Have a Grand Time with Your Buds
Diary-(uh)
These Boots Are No Longer Made for Walking
She’s Not Like Other American Girl Dolls
There’s No Disciples Named Lachlan
It’s MY Turn to Play Art Associate, Jess!
This He Considered Sufficient Encouragement
Really Stubborn and Very Bad at Music Theory
I’m a Skank by Nature, Everyone Knows That
Mormon Sex Drama
That Bitch Is Crisp
He Flew Too Close to the Pervert Sun
But Really, Beyonce?
A Righteous Rage
I Never Recovered from This in Terms of Being Cool
I Claim Ownership Over This Cringe
Burn Before Reading Trailer!