All Episodes
Conflict Owner's Manual — 136 episodes
One person can change the cycle of miscommunication: is it you? 137
When they don't listen to your facts, do this instead 136
What to do when emotions keep you in a conflict 135
How to get along with difficult people 134
How to bridge the gap in your conflict competence 133
How to turn your fear into an ally in conflict 132
What if your beliefs about conflict keep you stuck? 131
Does your conflict recipe miss key ingredients? 130
129 Can you be conflict competent and win the argument?
128 How do you thaw a frosty relationship (if they won't reciprocate*)?
127 What fight are you trying to win? When your facts won't change their mind
126 Better than counting to 10: Five valuable ways to handle emotion in conflict
125 Heroes and villains don't fight about their worldviews (but you really should)
124 Three conflict competent ways to get the other person to listen to you
123 What depletes your conflict competence?
122 Five ways to stay non defensive when you're feeling attacked
121 When a conflict ends but it's on replay in your mind
120 How to make your conflict a positive experience
119 Before conflict escalates, consider these options
118 When you feel self defensive, use these conflict competencies
117 Is your conflict on repeat? You can change that conflict pattern with a (surprise) script
116 Three kinds of thoughts that block your conflict competence
115 How do you manage in polarized debates?
114 Is perspective taking a skill that diffuses conflict?
113 What stops you listening and how to fix it
112 What's a good breakup?
111 The benefits you get from trying to be conflict competent
110 How is your relatability a conflict competence?
108 What benefits do you get from conflict competence?
109 What conflict competencies help when you're overwhelmed
106 How do you conduct a conflict communication audit
107 Have you done your conflict communication audit?
105 Resolution emerges from owning your conflict
104 Superman's intentions are a conflict competence
103 What are conflict competent responses to being offended?
102 How is 'owning' your conflict a different skillset than resolving conflict?
100 What elite athletes can teach about conflict competence
101 Are you missing opportunities to talk before you judge (and are judged)?
98 What does it mean to own your conflict, and how do you own it?
99 Not every conflict has to become a fight
97 How to use cartoons to practice conflict competence
96 Did your simple conflict get complicated fast?
95 The good, bad, and ugly of being avoided
94 What's the harm of a polarized conflict?
93 The good, bad, and ugly of competing as a conflict competency
92 How to talk about workplace conflict at a job interview
91 The good, bad, and ugly of compromising as a conflict competency
90 What is a conflict management mindset?
89 The good, bad, and ugly of accommodating as a conflict competency
88 How do you resolve a communication mismatch?
87 Watch TV to practice conflict analysis
86 What's the right age for repairing a relationship?
85 How to stay non-defensive when verbally attacked
84 What conflict competencies might have helped my 40 year old self?
83 What do you fear in conflict?
82 What conflict competencies would you wish for your 30-year-old self?
81 How conflict competence impacts loneliness for the better
80 What conflict competencies would you wish for your 20-year-old self?
79 Do you and your roommates (or family) need a conflict management plan?
78 How do you use and practice conflict analysis?
77 How to ask good questions that invite conversations
76 How do you know when to quit trying dialogue?
75 What movie, show or book shows conflict competence done well?
74 What makes a good question the right question?
73 Why describe your conflict in story or simile?
72 What is a good question?
71 Do you have a mediator's mindset?
70 Three steps to being a better listener, (even when you're upset in the heat of conflict)
69 How to build trust in yourself
68 where did your conflict mental map come from?
67 Is trust a necessary ingredient for managing your conflicts?
66 How your self-beliefs grow your conflict competence
65 What life experiences inform your conflict competencies?
64 How is self awareness a conflict competency?
63 Is your frame big enough to picture your whole conflict?
62 what's in a name? Quite a lot when it's a conflict
61 how to use opportunities to change your conflict
60 How do you show curiosity without sounding judgmental?
59 How do conflict competencies affect politics?
58 What does it mean to ask "good questions"
57 What conflict competencies help overcome biased thinking?
56 What's the disconnect between your intention and the impact?
55 How do you express vulnerability in your conflicts?
54 What's on your conflict mental map?
53 How shame impacts your conflict competence
52 When conflict competence doesn't 'work' for you
51 Four benefits of doing the work to be more conflict competent
50 What you miss when you respond the same to every conflict
49 What to do with conflicts stuck in past experiences, present anxieties, or future fears
48 The difference between presenting issues and real issues in conflict
47 Train your brain for conflict competence
46 How to decide whether to engage in, ignore or avoid conflict
45 How empathy mapping builds conflict competence
44 How to fix talking past each other
43 What conflict competent tools deal with bullies?
42 How assumptions, beliefs and intentions interact in conflicts
41 How to be conflict competent when provoked
40 Are any ghosts haunting your conflict?
39 Why you might be reluctant to apologize
38 What's more effective than calling out someone you disagree with?
37 What if you are given an "either this or that" forced choice?
36 How do gossip and conflict relate to each other?
35 What are the goals of a Conflict Owner's Manual?
34 Can you trust your judgment in the uncertainty of conflict?
33 When who is to blame becomes the conflict
32 Three conflict competencies from Matthew Bellas
31 Is conflict competence a "soft" skill
30 What is the role of context in conflict?
29 When conflicts outgrow their original boundaries
28 What's the problem with agreeing to disagree?
27 Are pessimists more conflict competent than optimists?
26 Is aggression a conflict competency?
25 Are your conflicts complex, uncertain and heavy with variables?
24 Who is correct when opinions differ? This simple exercise helps you know.
23 What should you do when the other person's opinion is 'wrong'
22 Three ways to change your conflict pattern
21 If you dread the family dinner, try these for fun
20 How to turn conversation competence into conflict competence
19 Whose permission do you need to be conflict competent?
18 How to lower the heat with your conflict script
17 Are disappointed expectations causing your conflicts?
16 Does bias influence your decision making in conflict?
15 Has that conflict really ended your relationship?
14 How to get your conflict competence to rise
13 What common expressions are conflict competent?
12 Try this easy exercise to expand your conflict competence
11 What is Dialogue in conflict?
10 How does integrating ideas help manage conflict?
9 Conflict when the goals are the same
8 What is a conflict analysis?
7 How thinking affects your thinking in conflict
How do you define "conflict"
How to change the other person in a conflict
Why is our logo a dandelion?
Your conflict pattern
How to develop your conflict competence