All Episodes
Daily Shower Thoughts — 1000 episodes
Balloons are the most impacted by Inflation. | + 24 more...
Video games are mini games in the game of life. | + 28 more...
Pools are reverse boats designed to keep land out | + 28 more...
hating france is the most french thing you can do | + 26 more...
Sparkling water tastes like TV static | + 27 more...
Peeing is more fun for males than females | + 27 more...
The cottage industry isn't a cottage industry | + 25 more...
Every state has at least one major serial killer | + 25 more...
Slim is 'good', thin is 'bad'. | + 24 more...
Trees don’t grow old, they grow big. | + 25 more...
Active volcanoes are rocks that spit other rocks. | + 24 more...
Everyone wants to get old, but not be old. | + 26 more...
Clouds are what make the most beautiful sunsets. | + 28 more...
Dragons which breathe fire cant have cavities | + 28 more...
Left on delivered is more sad than left on read | + 28 more...
All your parts are private parts. | + 28 more...
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid | + 26 more...
Hate is a lot easier to describe than Love. | + 25 more...
Fists are the most used biological weapon. | + 25 more...
A ball can technically be an infinite sided dice | + 26 more...
Gangsta rappers have to deal with the flu too. | + 28 more...
The sixties were sixty years ago | + 25 more...
You can breakfast anytime during the day. | + 26 more...
Life as a flower seems beautiful and horrifying. | + 25 more...
Every day is the worst day of someone's life. | + 27 more...
Rain sounds are loud yet give calming effect. | + 25 more...
Intimacy is being weird and unfiltered together. | + 26 more...
Having a dog makes talking to myself less weird | + 27 more...
The water we drink is older than life itself. | + 26 more...
Space is a vacuum yet the Moon is still dusty | + 25 more...
A billionaire probably has the same phone as you. | + 26 more...
Bad reviews are more helpful than good reviews. | + 27 more...
The world used to be free. Now it closes at 11PM. | + 27 more...
All tall buildings were built by taller cranes | + 27 more...
A bobsleigh track designer is a pretty niche job | + 27 more...
Joe Exotic is the Wish version of Steve Irwin | + 24 more...
You look uglier the closer you are to a mirror | + 27 more...
Humans have the same leg to eye ratio as spiders | + 25 more...
Millennials are still seen as 20 year olds | + 24 more...
Cocoa beans are white but vanilla beans are brown | + 26 more...
Laxatives are a performance enhancing drug. | + 26 more...
Compared to other apes, humans look like pugs. | + 27 more...
Babies don't cry, they scream in agony | + 26 more...
A bobsleigh track designer is a pretty niche job | + 27 more...
Cereal boxes never state milk is sold separately | + 25 more...
Pink is the only color that gets to be hot | + 25 more...
Many good songs got ruined by memories. | + 28 more...
Bed is human’s wireless charging station | + 24 more...
We’ll never know what it smells like underwater. | + 25 more...
Smokers are more likely to be hit by lightning. | + 28 more...
Wolverine probably still has his wisdom teeth. | + 25 more...
Bing’s number one searched topic has to be Google | + 28 more...
People only remember you when you were younger. | + 26 more...
Santa is the world's most successful speedrunner | + 27 more...
Most people's handwriting is in sans serif | + 25 more...
Eating toast in odd numbers just feels wrong. | + 26 more...
at a certain age you just stop getting tickled | + 24 more...
garbage bags are bought just to throw them away | + 25 more...
Life is finite. Put your favorite song on repeat | + 25 more...
Pearls are oysters kidney stones | + 25 more...
No one on Cheers had a Boston accent | + 25 more...
Human skin is really good at not getting stained | + 28 more...
Most people die with a kill death ratio of 0 | + 28 more...
The taste of nothing is the taste of your mouth. | + 25 more...
Snail death count always increases after rain | + 24 more...
Parrots are technically mockingbirds | + 26 more...
Snapping is the sound of one hand clapping. | + 25 more...
Spinning a spinner actually makes you the spinner | + 28 more...
Taxi drivers involuntarily hear a lot of spoilers | + 24 more...
Eating toast in odd numbers just feels wrong. | + 25 more...
The earlier you shave, the earlier it grows back | + 25 more...
The better an army, the less they benefit from bravery. It may even hinder them. | + 28 more...
Shame plays a big part in a thriving society. | + 27 more...
The word Unusual, has an unusual amount of U's | + 28 more...
You have to be odd, in order to be number one. | + 28 more...
Being dead is the same as before you were born. | + 25 more...
Cats generally make a lot more sounds in movies. | + 25 more...
Covert narcissism can be disguised as altruism | + 28 more...
Player piano rolls were the first MIDIs. | + 24 more...
Secret admirers were just stalkers all along. | + 26 more...
Anything is portable if you're strong enough. | + 25 more...
A selfie with a celebrity is the new autograph. | + 27 more...
We rarely ever see suits stored in suitcases. | + 26 more...
Spiders aren’t the only animals that build webs. | + 26 more...
We frown on nepotism but praise family businesses | + 26 more...
Fast fashion is cosplaying rich people's outfits | + 28 more...
Paper is the lowest strength particle board. | + 28 more...
The number of people that use 6767 as their bank PIN code is likely rising at an exponential level. | + 25 more...
Musically, Bo Burnham is Weird Al’s evil twin. | + 27 more...
Reality TV is the most inaccurate TV genre | + 24 more...
Lynyrd Skynyrd is the the original 'Tragedeigh'. | + 24 more...
Recess is a break for both children and teachers. | + 25 more...
Some pets likely think that roombas are alive. | + 26 more...
Freedom of speech is free. Being heard is not. | + 24 more...
A paper cut is a tree's last act of defiance. | + 26 more...
People pay to make their cars quieter and louder. | + 27 more...
Dolphins have belly buttons. That's weird. | + 25 more...
A telephone makes sound travel faster than sound. | + 26 more...
Jaws was an innocent shark doing shark things. | + 26 more...
Onlyfans and churches both monetize loneliness. | + 25 more...
There is always a reverse harem in a bee hive | + 27 more...
Kindness is an act of rebellion | + 26 more...
The Universe is a maximum security prison. | + 25 more...
Mold growing on mushrooms is fungus Inception | + 27 more...
Musically, Bo Burnham is Weird Al’s evil twin. | + 27 more...
Monopoly has a monopoly on monopoly games. | + 27 more...
Halloween is the greatest crossover event ever | + 28 more...
clothes are among the sexiest inventions | + 26 more...
Air quality is measured by air quantity | + 24 more...
Everything has an advantage and a disadvantage | + 24 more...
A funny pun is punny fun. | + 24 more...
Alcohol is the real gateway drug | + 24 more...
George Washington never knew dinosaurs existed | + 26 more...
A bobsleigh track designer is a pretty niche job | + 25 more...
All storms at the north pole come from the south. | + 26 more...
Public transportation teaches us to be punctual | + 27 more...
The world used to be free. Now it closes at 11PM. | + 26 more...
Erotic nurse outfits look nothing like scrubs. | + 28 more...
That song you hate is someone's favorite song | + 26 more...
One person's sunset is another person's sunrise. | + 24 more...
A LEGO set is really a puzzle with instructions | + 27 more...
Every room is an escape room if you are very dumb | + 27 more...
You have a new first word every language learned | + 28 more...
freak accidents are lotteries no one wants to win | + 24 more...
Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 26 more...
Tipping can be seen as a tax on the empathetic. | + 24 more...
To antimatter entities, we'd be the antimatter. | + 24 more...
The first sentient AI will pretend not to be. | + 26 more...
We don't choose what we like, our body does | + 24 more...
Being tired as a kid meant sleep would fix it. Being tired as an adult can mean you need a different life. | + 26 more...
Nailed it is positive but screwed it is negative | + 24 more...
The more they connect us, the lonelier we become. | + 25 more...
Life as a flower seems beautiful and horrifying. | + 24 more...
When they die the composers become decomposers. | + 27 more...
Apple soup made with bone broth is bone apple tea | + 25 more...
Botox is a performance enhancing drug for poker. | + 26 more...
Light beer weighs the same amount as regular beer | + 28 more...
Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 24 more...
In a skeleton fight, every fracture is exposed. | + 24 more...
In videogames, intrusive thoughts always win | + 27 more...
The ritual of making your bed predates beds. | + 28 more...
We are all astronauts, earth is our ship | + 26 more...
It feels weird being the same age as old people! | + 24 more...
We trust the back of our seats way too much | + 26 more...
Any site is a dating site if you’re brave enough | + 25 more...
A candle exists in all 4 states of matter at once | + 26 more...
Camping is technically being homeless for fun. | + 28 more...
You only have a lap while you’re sitting. | + 26 more...
Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 26 more...
Original Tupperware will likely outlast all of us | + 26 more...
Secret admirers were just stalkers all along. | + 25 more...
Gen Alpha kids can legally drive in some places. | + 26 more...
People named Ted are always performing Ted Talks. | + 24 more...
We frown on nepotism but praise family businesses | + 28 more...
Dave and busters is adult chuckee cheese | + 25 more...
First you learn to read, then you read to learn. | + 26 more...
The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 26 more...
Rabbits are the mammal version of grasshoppers | + 27 more...
Common sense is appearantly not that common | + 27 more...
Safety instructions are written in blood. | + 28 more...
Chopsticks are the solution to plastic cutlery. | + 28 more...
Divorce rate among socks is astonishingly high | + 25 more...
You see more suns at night than in the daytime. | + 25 more...
Cell phones in movies never have cases. | + 28 more...
Nothing we ever do has a 100% chance of survival | + 25 more...
Your windshield doesn't know why you scream at it | + 26 more...
A LEGO set is really a puzzle with instructions | + 25 more...
It feels weird being the same age as old people! | + 28 more...
Lunchables are charcuterie boards for kids. | + 25 more...
Robot errors are still caused by human error | + 25 more...
The antithesis of plot armor is a red shirt. | + 26 more...
Arms for your chairs are chairs for your arms | + 25 more...
It's impossible to live in an abandoned building. | + 25 more...
One day you will have your last bite of pizza. | + 26 more...
It’s more acceptable to wear 0 shoes than 1 shoe | + 27 more...
Every store is a museum when you’re broke | + 24 more...
You do not see keyboards with lowercase letters. | + 26 more...
Arcades are a way for children to gamble legally | + 28 more...
When a person dies, their will is their loot drop | + 27 more...
Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 27 more...
Giraffes have nowhere to hide during a storm. | + 27 more...
Forest are either really relaxing or really scary | + 28 more...
1981 and 2024 are as far apart as 1981 and 1938 | + 27 more...
Most people's organs will never see sunlight. | + 24 more...
People can still die from succesful CPR | + 25 more...
Paprika is the savory version of cinnamon | + 24 more...
Technically, everyone is full of themselves. | + 25 more...
at a certain age you just stop getting tickled | + 27 more...
The average person is dead. | + 26 more...
The first guy to milk a cow just had to be drunk. | + 24 more...
Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 24 more...
Food abuse kills more people than drug abuse does | + 27 more...
Undercover cops are civilian impersonators. | + 28 more...
Our sleep ability has a cooldown. | + 25 more...
Many people sleep to escape their nightmare. | + 24 more...
We dress up for people we want to be naked with. | + 28 more...
Cutting corners just adds more corners. | + 27 more...
You never actually put dirty laundry on an airer | + 24 more...
Roses are red, but violets aren't blue. | + 27 more...
Binaca use in movies has really fallen off | + 24 more...
Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 25 more...
Location is all that separates a walk from a hike | + 25 more...
Snow White’s father was an abuse enabler. | + 26 more...
Word searches must be so much funner in braille. | + 26 more...
It's easier to be vulnerable to a stranger because you can't hurt a stranger the way you can hurt a loved one | + 26 more...
Most people with athletes foot are not athletes. | + 28 more...
the easiest boiled egg to make is the hard ones. | + 24 more...
The human hand is perfectly evolved to pet dogs | + 25 more...
Woodpeckers are the jackhammers of the forest | + 24 more...
Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 24 more...
You have a new first word every language learned | + 24 more...
Peanuts turn into peanut butter as you chew them | + 24 more...
Trees make flat land bearable for living | + 26 more...
Earth has more first world problems than Mercury. | + 28 more...
Most people in the world don’t have 4 seasons | + 27 more...
Most cars will never be upside down. | + 26 more...
It’s more acceptable to wear 0 shoes than 1 shoe | + 25 more...
Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 26 more...
A ton of elephants isn't a ton of elephants | + 27 more...
A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg. | + 25 more...
Matching socks up on laundry day is a mini game. | + 28 more...
An old guy is older than an older guy. | + 27 more...
There's no gangsta way to get out of a hammock | + 24 more...
A cyclops wouldn’t have any depth perception. | + 25 more...
Nothing is universally scary to everyone. | + 27 more...
There’s a thin line between a pet and a hostage | + 27 more...
You likely don’t notice the smell of your house. | + 24 more...
They need to put a timer next to traffic lights. | + 25 more...
Octopi and mushrooms give off the same energy | + 28 more...
The tooth fairy teaches us to sell our bodies | + 24 more...
An orgasm is easier to fake than a sneeze | + 28 more...
We pretend to make babies to feel good | + 28 more...
Marketing is attempted mind control. | + 24 more...
If a rhythm is fast enough, it becomes a pitch. | + 26 more...
You’re a character in many people's stories. | + 26 more...
Too many people don't like the people they love. | + 27 more...
Sound can travel through anything except nothing. | + 27 more...
Cats probably think we are cleaning our ice cream | + 25 more...
We frown on nepotism but praise family businesses | + 26 more...
Satire only works when everyone is equally smart | + 25 more...
Some dogs understand English better than others | + 25 more...
Somewhere out there is a raccoon washing a cheeto | + 28 more...
Someone came up with the concept of concepts | + 27 more...
When they die the composers become decomposers. | + 24 more...
Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 28 more...
Everybody likely has a murderer ancestor | + 27 more...
Drowning is kinda like being buried alive. | + 25 more...
Someone has probably farted so hard they died. | + 27 more...
Being dead is the same as before you were born. | + 25 more...
Zoomed out enough, everyone’s living on an island | + 25 more...
Shorter people can hide boogers better. | + 25 more...
People constantly leave behind a trail of warmth | + 24 more...
Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 27 more...
Teleportation in SciFi always has almost zero lag | + 24 more...
The vast, vast majority of books are textbooks. | + 25 more...
Nobody is normal if you know them well enough. | + 28 more...
Razed and raised are opposites of one another. | + 27 more...
On average 6 to 8 people die between your blinks. | + 28 more...
Your dog licked their balls, and then your face. | + 25 more...
The Earth's average elevation is below sea level. | + 25 more...
It is impossible to act without self interest. | + 24 more...
Even bands with only one fan, still have a #1 fan | + 27 more...
Music might be the only universal language | + 27 more...
beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 28 more...
The word 'monosyllable' has five syllables in it. | + 25 more...
Most of our litter will be artifacts in 100 years | + 28 more...
Machine gunners in movies never swap out barrels. | + 27 more...
People constantly leave behind a trail of warmth | + 25 more...
Every message is a message from a dying person. | + 24 more...
You buy trash bags just to throw them away. | + 27 more...
When you jump up and down, you don’t jump down. | + 25 more...
Pregnant women are technically body builders | + 28 more...
Everyone smells if you sniff hard enough. | + 25 more...
Sound can travel through anything except nothing. | + 27 more...
When you're pregnant, every hug is a group hug. | + 26 more...
Saturday is the least insulted day of the week | + 26 more...
Intimacy is being weird and unfiltered together. | + 25 more...
The Queen saw over a third of US history. | + 26 more...
Fertilizers made form cow manure are bullshit. | + 26 more...
We just take vacations to microdose on being rich | + 24 more...
It's ironic that there are statues of Medusa. | + 27 more...
Cereal boxes never state milk is sold separately | + 28 more...
All dogs are either bitches or sons of bitches | + 27 more...
Before I had kids, I never got sick. | + 28 more...
One type of hell is being ambitious but lazy. | + 28 more...
Everyone in the world is the winner of sperm race | + 27 more...
Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 24 more...
It is easier to fake happiness than sadness | + 24 more...
Machine gunners in movies never swap out barrels. | + 24 more...
The cerebellum is the ballsack of the brain | + 24 more...
Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 25 more...
Recess is a break for both children and teachers. | + 28 more...
You buy garbage bags just to throw them away | + 24 more...
Wolverine probably still has his wisdom teeth. | + 27 more...
Fruits technically qualify as fast food | + 24 more...
Very few people have a foot length exactly 1 foot | + 25 more...
Public transportation teaches us to be punctual | + 25 more...
Cemeteries must smell awful to bloodhounds. | + 28 more...
Ruffles potato chips are ribbed for your pleasure | + 28 more...
Two people can not go to each others’ funeral. | + 28 more...
Flashlights aren’t meant for flashing | + 27 more...
Pinocciho is an infinite wood suply | + 25 more...
During earthquakes, coffins become maracas | + 24 more...
Arguing with someone online is turn based combat. | + 24 more...
Life is all about you, and not at all about you. | + 26 more...
Paper folders don’t actually fold papers | + 25 more...
Surveys show that 100% of people fill out surveys | + 24 more...
The most common hairstyle is bald. | + 25 more...
Axe murderers don't kill axes. | + 26 more...
Making a family is not very family friendly. | + 24 more...
You can't angrily roll up an automatic window. | + 28 more...
In a skeleton fight, every fracture is exposed. | + 27 more...
Colloquial is very much not a colloquial word | + 27 more...
People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 24 more...
Your generation title is the new astrology sign | + 26 more...
Archaeology is almost always groundbreaking. | + 26 more...
Everyone you touch will die, but not instantly. | + 28 more...
A car's faulty fuel gauge can gaslight you | + 28 more...
There is no way to gracefully chase a bouncy ball | + 28 more...
A good post is only as good as its best comment. | + 25 more...
Salt and Sugar can make or break foods and drinks | + 24 more...
Dryer lint is the average colour of your laundry | + 25 more...
Santa has a really weird job | + 27 more...
Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from. | + 28 more...
With enough confidence, anything can be a chair. | + 26 more...
Door to door salesman are in real life pop up ads | + 25 more...
When you're living, you're also dying in a sense. | + 28 more...
Almost all criminals are bad at being criminals. | + 26 more...
Nature Valley bars are the glitter bombs of food. | + 26 more...
Cells are multiplied by dividing themselves | + 27 more...
The CIA is omnipotent in conspiracy theories. | + 28 more...
The buttplug is the pacifier’s first cousin. | + 25 more...
Humans are the most widespread invasive species. | + 28 more...
Our ancestors would be so confused about us trying to avoid 'spoiling our appetite'. | + 27 more...
No one sings you happy birthday when you’re born | + 28 more...
Hourly wage workers get punished for efficiency | + 26 more...
‘Boxing gloves’ aren’t gloves, they’re mittens | + 26 more...
Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 24 more...
Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 24 more...
Getting the job is harder than doing the job | + 24 more...
The world will never be peaceful or equal. | + 28 more...
Machine gunners in movies never swap out barrels. | + 26 more...
Doppelgangers are isotopes of the same gene pool | + 25 more...
Drummers are Conductors for their band. | + 24 more...
The Matrix is already a quarter century old | + 27 more...
You have to fake sleep before you can real sleep. | + 26 more...
The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 24 more...
Most family recipes likely come from a cookbook | + 28 more...
Taking candy from a baby is actually a good thing | + 26 more...
Most pets have probably never met their fathers | + 27 more...
Technically, every house is a homeless shelter | + 28 more...
We're the intermediary in the landfill industry | + 24 more...
Logically a craigslist is someone who craigsls | + 24 more...
There are stars that are bigger than black holes. | + 26 more...
Chicken Caesar salad is poor man’s surf and turf | + 28 more...
MSN Messenger was training for Microsoft Teams. | + 27 more...
The Epic of Gilgamesh is doomed yaoi. | + 24 more...
Anything is portable if you're strong enough. | + 26 more...
To antimatter entities, we'd be the antimatter. | + 25 more...
Parallelograms are lazy rectangles. | + 27 more...
We frown on nepotism but praise family businesses | + 28 more...
It must be hard to tell if an actor is lying. | + 24 more...
Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 25 more...
Life feels more real when it's warm outside | + 25 more...
People also shed skin, only very slowly | + 26 more...
A bullet only does it's job after it's fired | + 27 more...
It's okay to bet as long as you never gamble. | + 27 more...
Bullseye would be the world's greatest juggler. | + 24 more...
Solar power is technically nuclear power. | + 28 more...
We rarely ever see suits stored in suitcases. | + 27 more...
Modern cars are kind of like mini spaceships | + 26 more...
The price of going barefoot is a stubbed toe. | + 28 more...
Quebec is the Wario of France. | + 24 more...
Humans are the only species they named themselves | + 25 more...
You never hear anyone swear to Satan | + 25 more...
Star Trek was a military roleplay for pacifists. | + 26 more...
Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 25 more...
Maturity is knowing when to be immature. | + 28 more...
Sperm donation is human pollination. | + 27 more...
Everyone’s got one good gofundme in them. | + 26 more...
Most people will not be able to retire | + 28 more...
Somebody needs to go wake up Green Day. | + 25 more...
Most of our litter will be artifacts in 100 years | + 24 more...
You can’t touch music, but music can touch you. | + 28 more...
Most underestimate the capability of humans. | + 24 more...
All storms at the north pole come from the south. | + 26 more...
House spiders were around before houses existed. | + 24 more...
Botox is a performance enhancing drug for poker. | + 26 more...
We will never truly know when humans go extinct. | + 28 more...
The tooth fairy teaches us to sell our bodies | + 24 more...
Making a family is not very family friendly. | + 24 more...
Freedom of speech is free. Being heard is not. | + 28 more...
Octopi and mushrooms give off the same energy | + 26 more...
The lottery is pay to win | + 28 more...
Twitch streamers are professional ramblers. | + 28 more...
Death is only sad for the ones left living. | + 26 more...
Hot water smells different than cold water | + 24 more...
Been yelled at more as an adult than as a kid. | + 24 more...
The most common place to stand is 'around.' | + 27 more...
You know you're thirsty when water tastes good | + 28 more...
People just act like analyst is a normal word. | + 28 more...
Life is the freest thing, yet we monetize it | + 26 more...
The majority of jobs can be learned by googling | + 26 more...
Two people can not go to each others’ funeral. | + 27 more...
beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 27 more...
The second we die, we become someone's job. | + 24 more...
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid | + 25 more...
World wars have never involved the entire world. | + 26 more...
Batman's Utility belt is a glorified Fanny Pack | + 28 more...
Star Trek was a military roleplay for pacifists. | + 24 more...
Some people get nostalgia from smelling ammonia | + 28 more...
Your pee is always touching your body. | + 26 more...
Every living organism is 100% recycled material. | + 28 more...
A cyclops wouldn’t have any depth perception. | + 24 more...
Wearing cosmetics is old school editing. | + 25 more...
The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 28 more...
Every wooden house is technically a tree house | + 26 more...
You never see katana videos where they cut bones | + 27 more...
Your car key has traveled more than your car | + 25 more...
To cut bread into 10 slices, you need 9 slices. | + 27 more...
Overthinking is rarely a problem for the majority | + 27 more...
Our insides are always in complete darkness | + 27 more...
Everyone wants to get old, but not be old. | + 25 more...
Your generation title is the new astrology sign | + 27 more...
A telephone makes sound travel faster than sound. | + 26 more...
Most men get their first flowers at their funeral | + 28 more...
There must be gay couples named Adam and Steve | + 27 more...
Nothing sounds as nonsensical as a flying disc | + 24 more...
A full bladder is the most effective alarm clock. | + 26 more...
true collectibles don't start out as collectibles | + 26 more...
Woodpeckers are the jackhammers of the forest | + 24 more...
Robot errors are still caused by human error | + 24 more...
Air vents in film are always way too clean | + 25 more...
You see more suns at night than in the daytime. | + 26 more...
Morality and knowledge are not directly related | + 25 more...
There just aren't enough cats in Star Wars. | + 26 more...
Abnormal things happen, and that's normal. | + 25 more...
You are never blown by the same wind twice. | + 26 more...
Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 28 more...
The Cybertruck is the DeLorean of our generation. | + 25 more...
Someone came up with the concept of concepts | + 25 more...
Cereal boxes never state milk is sold separately | + 28 more...
Technically a cigarette is a type of veggie wrap | + 26 more...
Your body is the most complex thing that you own. | + 28 more...
Teeth are luxury bones to insurance companies. | + 28 more...
Any carpet not fixed into place is a rug. | + 27 more...
Most Michael Jackson impersonators are white. | + 26 more...
If a rhythm is fast enough, it becomes a pitch. | + 25 more...
One day you will have your last bite of pizza. | + 26 more...
Only jeans are sold intentionally broken. | + 26 more...
Public transportation teaches us to be punctual | + 27 more...
Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 24 more...
A river is water with food in it. | + 24 more...
Being aware of our own ignorance is so powerful. | + 24 more...
First you learn to read, then you read to learn. | + 25 more...
The world used to be free. Now it closes at 11PM. | + 25 more...
When you're pregnant, every hug is a group hug. | + 26 more...
In plumbing, nipples are exclusively male things. | + 28 more...
Salt and Sugar can make or break foods and drinks | + 24 more...
Only you know the taste of the food you've eaten. | + 27 more...
Billboards are the cereal boxes of the road. | + 28 more...
Abnormal things happen, and that's normal. | + 28 more...
Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 27 more...
The fear of showing you're scared is doubly scary | + 27 more...
Nostalgia is no different than emotional Deja Vu. | + 28 more...
Spinning a spinner actually makes you the spinner | + 24 more...
Teeth are luxury bones to insurance companies. | + 27 more...
The only thing guaranteed in life is death | + 24 more...
Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 28 more...
Working in a morgue is a near death experience. | + 27 more...
Popcorn is technically a fried food. | + 27 more...
Doing work is easier than doing nothing all day. | + 28 more...
We just take vacations to microdose on being rich | + 28 more...
We are an NPC in everyone's life except ours | + 25 more...
About half of all escalators don't. | + 26 more...
Paprika is the savory version of cinnamon | + 25 more...
A cyclops wouldn’t have any depth perception. | + 26 more...
You have a new first word every language learned | + 28 more...
At some point, kids won’t know who Ash Ketchum is | + 28 more...
A brain transplant is actually a body transplant | + 27 more...
In a cornfield, spiders DO make cobwebs. | + 24 more...
We waste so much space staying on the surface. | + 27 more...
From the Sun’s perspective, shadows don’t exist | + 27 more...
1981 and 2024 are as far apart as 1981 and 1938 | + 27 more...
Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 24 more...
Mold growing on mushrooms is fungus Inception | + 28 more...
Very full is less than just full. | + 25 more...
Breasts are nature's stress balls | + 25 more...
A solution without a problem is a problem. | + 27 more...
No one in the live studio audience ever sneezes | + 25 more...
Teeth are luxury bones to insurance companies. | + 27 more...
Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 26 more...
Lots of people use cheese like it's a seasoning. | + 25 more...
You will never see your own death certificate | + 26 more...
Very strict parents raise highly skilled liars. | + 27 more...
Forensic Analysis and Archaeology are in the same field, but the main factor is how long the body has been there. | + 24 more...
All storms at the north pole come from the south. | + 26 more...
twentyfourcharacterslong is 24 characters long | + 26 more...
Sometimes it’s wrong to be right | + 28 more...
We are closer to 2070 than we are to 1970. | + 25 more...
Everything you can think of is a human concept | + 27 more...
Botox is a performance enhancing drug for poker. | + 28 more...
Whether something is a spectrum or not is binary | + 25 more...
Any site is a dating site if you’re brave enough | + 27 more...
When you eat salt, you’re just eating rocks. | + 28 more...
Some of the cheapest food is the healthiest | + 27 more...
Fasting is the cheapest dieting option. | + 26 more...
Bad reviews are more helpful than good reviews. | + 26 more...
The more you enjoy life, the shorter it feels. | + 26 more...
You've never been in an empty room before. | + 26 more...
The handle of an ax is a traitor to his own race. | + 28 more...
Whether something is a spectrum or not is binary | + 24 more...
The best birthday a guy can have is February 14. | + 28 more...
Overthinking is rarely a problem for the majority | + 26 more...
Makeup shouldn’t be allowed in beauty contests. | + 25 more...
Coffee filters and muffin wrappers are cousins | + 26 more...
People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 24 more...
Zoomed out enough, everyone’s living on an island | + 24 more...
Fish and Birds are not pets, they are prisoners | + 26 more...
Coffee filters and muffin wrappers are cousins | + 25 more...
When you light a lighter, it gets lighter | + 24 more...
Trail mix is a slow feeder for children | + 28 more...
You can hire a clown to perform just for you. | + 26 more...
Nothing makes sense, makes sense. | + 25 more...
You never hear about cellphone cameras breaking. | + 27 more...
House spiders were around before houses existed. | + 24 more...
Balloons are the most impacted by Inflation. | + 28 more...
Intimacy is being weird and unfiltered together. | + 27 more...
Every living organism is 100% recycled material. | + 24 more...
All our thoughts are filtered through language. | + 26 more...
Women have more privacy in restrooms than men | + 26 more...
Photoshop and filters are plagiarized beauty. | + 25 more...
You have a new first word every language learned | + 27 more...
All our thoughts are filtered through language. | + 27 more...
Intimacy is being weird and unfiltered together. | + 25 more...
A sausage is a meat balloon | + 26 more...
Giving birth must have been easy for Elastigirl | + 26 more...
Unclipped toenails drive sock sales | + 27 more...
We just take vacations to microdose on being rich | + 26 more...
Pigeons and pissed kitties emit identical sounds | + 25 more...
Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 24 more...
Arguing with someone online is turn based combat. | + 28 more...
you dont need to raise your hand when knocking | + 28 more...
Your pillow is also a second bed for your head. | + 26 more...
Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 25 more...
Most of us won't see the year 2100 | + 25 more...
Life gives you the test before the lesson | + 27 more...
Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 24 more...
Giving birth must have been easy for Elastigirl | + 27 more...
Laptops are predominantly used as desktop. | + 26 more...
There’s no such thing as an endless supply | + 24 more...
If DNA collection was mandatory at birth, there would be a significant increase in solved crimes. | + 28 more...
We live in a world where even dying is expensive | + 28 more...
You're late only if you do actually show up. | + 28 more...
Pancakes have absolutely no standard size | + 25 more...
Pets are the aristocrats of the animal kingdom. | + 24 more...
beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 24 more...
Clapping is a form of peer pressure | + 24 more...
Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 28 more...
Heavy metal poisoning isn't as cool as it sounds. | + 28 more...
Dogs must be sad that we never lick them | + 24 more...
Out there is person, who did the rickroll first | + 28 more...
Most people wipe one times too many | + 24 more...
Corn dogs are meat twinkies. | + 28 more...
Working in a morgue is a near death experience. | + 27 more...
You know you're thirsty when water tastes good | + 27 more...
The lottery is pay to win | + 24 more...
In Home Alone 2, Kevin is neither home nor alone for most of the movie. | + 25 more...
Vibranium is the Marvel mithril. | + 27 more...
Egg salad is chicken salad. | + 28 more...
Wood is rarer in the universe than diamonds | + 24 more...
Animals might think the road is one long rock | + 26 more...
We are a sad generation with happy pictures | + 28 more...
A brain transplant is actually a body transplant | + 26 more...
Spinning a spinner actually makes you the spinner | + 24 more...
It’s harder to reject pleasure than ignore pain | + 28 more...
Video games are mini games in the game of life. | + 25 more...
Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 26 more...
To be smart is realizing you really aren't | + 24 more...
When they die the composers become decomposers. | + 26 more...
The more people that get diagnosed as neurodivergent, the less typical neurotypicals become. | + 24 more...
Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 26 more...
A sundial is technically a nuclear powered clock | + 27 more...
You're late only if you do actually show up. | + 26 more...
Space stations are the least stationary stations. | + 24 more...
Saliva becomes gross when it's cold. | + 25 more...
Most of us are here because we are bored. | + 24 more...
You will never see your death certificate | + 27 more...
In a skeleton fight, every fracture is exposed. | + 28 more...
People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 28 more...
Retirement isn't an age, it's a financial status. | + 28 more...
Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 28 more...
The most boring person you recognize is youself | + 26 more...
Onomatopoeia doesn't exist in signed languages | + 24 more...
The world used to be free. Now it closes at 11PM. | + 24 more...
Spice is the only flavor our buttholes can taste. | + 25 more...
First you learn to read, then you read to learn. | + 25 more...
Technically, all plants are fusion powered. | + 25 more...
Mayonnaise is the exact inverse of Meringue | + 26 more...
Our bodies are planets for microorganisms. | + 24 more...
Manslaughter sounds way worse than murder | + 26 more...
dinosaur nuggies are made from evolved dinosaurs | + 27 more...
People lived in New Mexico before Mexico. | + 28 more...
You have to fake sleep before you can real sleep. | + 27 more...
You never hear any stories about King Charming. | + 24 more...
Steve Backshall sort of looks like Steve Irwin. | + 25 more...
A sundial is technically a nuclear powered clock | + 24 more...
The invention of the wheel was revolutionary | + 27 more...
The Milky Way actually has milk in it | + 24 more...
You have one dominant way of crossing your arms | + 26 more...
A moonlit night is really a sunlit night. | + 24 more...
Therapists talk you into brainwashing yourself. | + 26 more...
Eating an ape would make you a kind of cannibal. | + 27 more...
Maturity is knowing when to be immature. | + 25 more...
If bugs had a society like ours, their daily routine would be nonstop funerals. | + 24 more...
You can breakfast anytime during the day. | + 27 more...
Life is the freest thing, yet we monetize it | + 27 more...
We don't see anything except light. | + 28 more...
Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 24 more...
Each person really only gets one hill to die on. | + 24 more...
You don’t see a hole, you see what’s around it. | + 25 more...
Not enough songs have a xylophone solo in them. | + 26 more...
You only know you’ve fallen asleep once you’ve woken up. | + 27 more...
Zoomed out enough, everyone’s living on an island | + 28 more...
Imagine if Oxygen was visible to the naked eye. | + 25 more...
A broken dishwasher makes a damn fine drying rack | + 28 more...
It’s really easy to forget that vanilla is black | + 25 more...
Technically, everyone is full of themselves. | + 25 more...
Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 26 more...
Any site is a dating site if you’re brave enough | + 25 more...
Human skin is really good at not getting stained | + 25 more...
Everything in the universe was once touching. | + 26 more...
Humans are technically a hydroelectric bioreactor | + 24 more...
You do not see keyboards with lowercase letters. | + 25 more...
A full bladder is the most effective alarm clock. | + 25 more...
Many people sleep to escape their nightmare. | + 28 more...
Musically, Bo Burnham is Weird Al’s evil twin. | + 27 more...
Most of our litter will be artifacts in 100 years | + 24 more...
Every stranger is a window to new opportunities. | + 24 more...
Everything is too much until you're used to it. | + 24 more...
The taste of cola is almost impossible to explain | + 28 more...
Some of the cheapest food is the healthiest | + 28 more...
Deaf people must be very good at playing charades | + 25 more...
Duos are more memorable than trios. | + 25 more...
The older you get, the riskier it is to fart. | + 25 more...
Chicken Caesar salad is poor man’s surf and turf | + 25 more...
A broken dishwasher makes a damn fine drying rack | + 28 more...
Dolphins have belly buttons. That's weird. | + 25 more...
Cannibal tribes probably don’t believe in ghosts | + 25 more...
For some, a grave is the only property they'll ever own. | + 24 more...
Scars tell a story that only few know. | + 28 more...
It's a shame that more of history wasn't recorded | + 24 more...
A duck with one leg swims in circles | + 26 more...
Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 25 more...
Tipping is after the help and bribing is before | + 28 more...
A solution without a problem is a problem. | + 25 more...
Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 25 more...
There is no 10 in a base infinity number system. | + 25 more...
dinosaur nuggies are made from evolved dinosaurs | + 24 more...
beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 25 more...
You never see meat based vegetables | + 28 more...
To be subpar in golf you have to be above par. | + 26 more...
Everyone in the world is the winner of sperm race | + 26 more...
Sauce is paint for your tastebuds | + 25 more...
Homeless people can’t be put under house arrest | + 26 more...
There will eventually be a last mortal human. | + 26 more...
Humans are an invasive species to most places | + 26 more...
The bedroom is the real restroom | + 28 more...
You can't really stand backwards on stairs. | + 26 more...
You know a fart is bad when it even bothers you. | + 27 more...
We are never not tasting something. | + 28 more...
You know a fart is bad when it even bothers you. | + 27 more...
Bingo was the name of the farmer, not the dog. | + 24 more...
Tipping is after the help and bribing is before | + 25 more...
Everything in the universe is a little bit bendy | + 25 more...
The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 26 more...
To be smart is realizing you really aren't | + 28 more...
Girl friends are the gateway drug to girlfriends. | + 27 more...
Real glass cannons would break from the recoil. | + 24 more...
Mindy still owes millions of people a Gengar. | + 27 more...
We waste so much space staying on the surface. | + 25 more...
Little Billy is a modern folklore character. | + 24 more...
Hush puppies are just ️oneless corn dogs. | + 28 more...
2040 is closer than 2006 | + 26 more...
Balloons are the most impacted by Inflation. | + 25 more...
Drinking lids are sippy cup lids for adults. | + 28 more...
One day we will have ads in outer space | + 26 more...
The average woman sees more blood in her lifetime than the average man. | + 27 more...
Farting is technically a form of detoxing. | + 24 more...
The queen just spoiled the end of The Crown | + 26 more...
Taxi drivers involuntarily hear a lot of spoilers | + 27 more...
There is no 10 in a base infinity number system. | + 26 more...
All trophies are participation trophies. | + 26 more...
the easiest boiled egg to make is the hard ones. | + 24 more...
Like snowflakes, no two farts are exactly alike. | + 24 more...
Leaf blowers can actually blow anything. | + 24 more...
Life's purpose is to rearrange atoms. | + 28 more...
When you light a lighter, it gets lighter | + 27 more...
We’ll never know what it smells like underwater. | + 27 more...
When you light a lighter, it gets lighter | + 24 more...
at a certain age you just stop getting tickled | + 27 more...
With rising temperatures, human society might shift to being more nocturnal. | + 6 more...
Word searches must be so much funner in braille. | + 3 more...
It must suck to be bi and date a jealous person. | + 7 more...
Magic is circular. Science is rectangular. | + 8 more...
People tend to notice and appreciate the little things in video games more than in real life. | + 2 more...
You do not see keyboards with lowercase letters. | + 8 more...
Ice cream cones are edible portion control. | + 6 more...
It’s an honor to get last place in the Olympics. | + 10 more...
Very strict parents raise highly skilled liars. | + 19 more...
Before I had kids, I never got sick. | + 12 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 21 July 2024
A full beard is a natural mask. | + 17 more...
One day, AI might wonder if humans are sentient. | + 24 more...
It's impossible to live in an abandoned building. | + 20 more...
Active volcanoes are rocks that spit other rocks. | + 22 more...
Igloos are houses made of water. | + 16 more...
Life scatters people, but death gathers them. | + 22 more...
Every moment will go down in history. | + 22 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 14 July 2024
Standing desks are seen as progressive but so is giving cashiers chairs. | + 15 more...
Manners are essentially filters we apply to our minds. | + 7 more...
You can never take a picture of the present. | + 18 more...
Dolphins probably call our planet Water. | + 23 more...
You don't have to buckle your belt at the front. | + 25 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 07 July 2024
Voodoo dolls would be really useful for surgeons. | + 17 more...
Stilts and kilts would be a terrible combination. | + 20 more...
Narwhals are unicorns of the ocean. | + 15 more...
Things are never on fire. Fire is on things. | + 18 more...
A person who is 20 will have had 21 birthdays. | + 23 more...
Meetings are for people who love to talk. | + 21 more...
Jam is baby food with added sugar. | + 22 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 30 June 2024
Every civilization has its Pong. | + 12 more...
Wanting to be special is rather ordinary. | + 20 more...
Every day is the worst day of someone's life. | + 23 more...
What if everyone stopped tipping? Would it force business to actually pay their employees? | + 27 more...
Birds have diarrhea their entire lives. | + 24 more...
Tarzan’s first wet dream did not involve a human | + 25 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 23 June 2024
Imitation crab is the only true 'Fish Stick' | + 27 more...
Most people have not seen the Wikipedia Home Page | + 26 more...
Humans have always been watercooled | + 24 more...
From the Sun’s perspective, shadows don’t exist | + 24 more...
Mindy still owes millions of people a Gengar. | + 24 more...
Cutting corners just adds more corners. | + 24 more...
The only good thing about X is community notes. | + 23 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 16 June 2024
Chicken Caesar salad is poor man’s surf and turf | + 25 more...
Not everyone can be alone without feeling lonely. | + 27 more...
You never sneeze in your sleep | + 27 more...
More people enter a cemetery than exit it. | + 7 more...
By weight, a hamburger costs more than a new car. | + 28 more...
The Earth's surface area is always changing | + 15 more...
Tow trucks give cars a ride | + 9 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 09 June 2024
Never seen a fun fact that’s made any one laugh | + 25 more...
That song you hate is someone's favorite song | + 24 more...
You can never slam a revolving door. | + 24 more...
Tipping is panhandling for employed workers | + 26 more...
Having to wear glasses is the most attractive disability. | + 25 more...
You never get to enjoy giving a cannibal diarrhea | + 26 more...
Mothers are the most indirectly insulted group | + 25 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 02 June 2024
Being really unlucky often involves being lucky | + 28 more...
You very rarely see a referee with facial hair. | + 27 more...
Smartphone games were way more fun 10 years ago | + 27 more...
There are many more products at $4.99 than at $5. | + 26 more...
the hardest thing to photograph is your own phone | + 27 more...
Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 26 more...
Meatballs sure sounds better than balls of meat | + 28 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 26 May 2024
You've never been in an empty room before. | + 24 more...
Most people are afraid of being too happy | + 28 more...
Certain movies are meant to be watched twice | + 25 more...
Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 26 more...
Boeing is onomatopoeia for something conking out | + 24 more...
Life gives more second chances than people think | + 25 more...
Orange ice cream sounds more popular than it is | + 26 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 19 May 2024
Solar power is technically nuclear power. | + 25 more...
We rarely ever see suits stored in suitcases. | + 25 more...
Neuralink is going to destroy the poker scene | + 27 more...
A bullet only does it's job after it's fired | + 28 more...
A sinking ship must be exciting for sea life | + 27 more...
Every room is an escape room if you are very dumb | + 26 more...
Teleportation in SciFi always has almost zero lag | + 24 more...
We all might be colorblind and we wouldn't know. | + 24 more...
freak accidents are lotteries no one wants to win | + 24 more...
Fake streetlights in video games emit real light | + 28 more...
Things taste less sweet when they're cold. | + 28 more...
Peanuts turn into peanut butter as you chew them | + 24 more...
It’s harder to reject pleasure than ignore pain | + 25 more...
We’ve all just accepted that our phones listen to us | + 24 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 05 May 2024
Buckets are waterproof baskets. | + 24 more...
A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg. | + 26 more...
We need a slur for advertisements | + 26 more...
Chickens and parrots are domesticated dinosaurs. | + 26 more...
Everyone takes a crap, but no one gives a crap. | + 24 more...
Your phone has seen more of you than other humans | + 28 more...
You are the center of the observable universe | + 26 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 28 April 2024
At some point, kids won’t know who Ash Ketchum is | + 25 more...
Life as a flower seems beautiful and horrifying. | + 27 more...
Dryer lint is the average colour of your laundry | + 25 more...
Cats generally make a lot more sounds in movies. | + 28 more...
None of your ancestors died a virgin | + 24 more...
2019 to 2024 felt way faster than 2014 to 2019 | + 25 more...
The older we get, the more fall damage we take. | + 25 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 22 April 2024
Spinning a spinner actually makes you the spinner | + 27 more...
Too many people don't like the people they love. | + 28 more...
There is no 10 in a base infinity number system. | + 25 more...
There is no way to gracefully chase a bouncy ball | + 28 more...
Money is not a problem until you don’t have any. | + 24 more...
Only jeans are sold intentionally broken. | + 27 more...
Zombies having extra durability makes no sense | + 24 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 14 April 2024
Growing in love is better than falling in love | + 26 more...
Most living creatures die by being eaten alive | + 28 more...
You give away almost 100% of your birthday cake. | + 27 more...
You are not stuck in traffic, you are the traffic | + 28 more...
Pregnant women basically turn food into humans. | + 27 more...
Journalism is the public's intelligence agency | + 26 more...
You never own money it’s just your turn with it | + 28 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 07 April 2024
Every bad person was once innocent. | + 28 more...
It's not physically possible to count to a trillion outloud. | + 25 more...
Sharp cheddar is the dark chocolate of cheese. | + 27 more...
People on limited data plans pay to watch ads | + 26 more...
2025 has become less futuristic. | + 26 more...
Only you know the taste of the food you've eaten. | + 24 more...
Real court is so boring compared to TV court | + 25 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 31 March 2024
There’s no wrong way to orient a map or a globe. | + 28 more...
Commonwealth sounds a lot better than Rarepoverty | + 26 more...
Most people smell the same at a hotel breakfast | + 26 more...
Kid Rock is the Florida of rock music | + 27 more...
Animals might think the road is one long rock | + 24 more...
The CIA is omnipotent in conspiracy theories. | + 25 more...
True loners don't complain about being lonely. | + 24 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 24 March 2024
It feels weird being the same age as old people! | + 26 more...
Judge Judy was actually a game show all along | + 27 more...
Manslaughter sounds way worse than murder | + 25 more...
People are offended when told they're offensive. | + 25 more...
There isn’t really a good synonym for thesaurus. | + 28 more...
Everything in the universe is a little bit bendy | + 28 more...
Near white is the most impractical clothes colour | + 24 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 17 March 2024
A broken clock is also wrong 1438 times a day | + 26 more...
In neuroscience, the human brain studies itself. | + 26 more...
Most hatred is based on ignorance and obstinacy | + 28 more...
Instead of death note just a stubbed toe note | + 26 more...
No grape flavored drink tastes like gapes. | + 26 more...
Sharks rarely get to eat beef, pork, or chicken. | + 24 more...
At one point in prehistory everybody was homeless | + 26 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 10 March 2024
Statistically, there truly are lucky people | + 24 more...
Almost all criminals are bad at being criminals. | + 25 more...
Somehow, pigeons figured out we're harmless wimps | + 27 more...
The grown up version of pinky promise is an NDA | + 27 more...
There is always a full solar eclipse somewhere | + 25 more...
There must be gay couples named Adam and Steve | + 28 more...
Everyone in Star Wars is bilingual | + 24 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 03 March 2024
Dinosaur nuggets are made of actual dinosaurs. | + 25 more...
Michael Westen is a better spy than James Bond. | + 25 more...
Nailed it is positive but screwed it is negative | + 24 more...
People drive to the gym to walk on the treadmill | + 28 more...
There's nothing more expensive than a cheap BMW | + 24 more...
Salaried workers take a 0.3% paycut on leap years | + 26 more...
Everything you can think of is a human concept | + 24 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 25 February 2024
You can always trust on gravity to let you down. | + 26 more...
A mile a minute sounds a lot faster than 60 MPH | + 25 more...
Your butt can shoot out all states of matter. | + 26 more...
Nothing quite ruins sexting like typos | + 24 more...
One Newton is about the same weight as an apple. | + 27 more...
People pay to make their cars quieter and louder. | + 25 more...
It’s unfathomably easy to ruin your entire life | + 26 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 18 February 2024
The sun gives you both vitamins and cancer | + 28 more...
Trench coats are almost never worn in trenches. | + 27 more...
The older you get the more quiet you become. | + 24 more...
House spiders were around before houses existed. | + 26 more...
Overgrown and abandoned cities look beautiful | + 25 more...
Being honest is always interesting. | + 28 more...
Negotatiors are socially accepted manipulators | + 24 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 11 February 2024
You don't know you're asleep until you wake up | + 27 more...
we dress up for people we want to get naked with | + 26 more...
Regardless of how you die, the faster the better. | + 24 more...
Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 27 more...
Life's purpose is to rearrange atoms. | + 24 more...
The most boring person you recognize is youself | + 24 more...
Being a human being is extremely uncomfortable | + 27 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 04 February 2024
Very few people have a foot length exactly 1 foot | + 26 more...
Pharmacists are exterminators for microorganisms. | + 25 more...
We're biological mechs for our gut bacteria | + 24 more...
Not enough songs have a xylophone solo in them. | + 24 more...
You need scissors to open a new pack of scissors. | + 28 more...
When you're living, you're also dying in a sense. | + 27 more...
Sunday's never really feel like a full day off | + 26 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 28 January 2024
Every state has at least one major serial killer | + 26 more...
All boys born after 2010 will be alpha males. | + 25 more...
Having a dog makes talking to myself less weird | + 26 more...
Car rides are kinda like life’s loading screens. | + 24 more...
One day we will have ads in outer space | + 24 more...
When things really hurt you ,it makes you quiet. | + 28 more...
An Uber Eats delivery guy is a modern day milkman | + 24 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 21 January 2024
Being reckless leads to more wrecks. | + 28 more...
Every day, more people fall asleep than wake up. | + 28 more...
Everything has an advantage and a disadvantage | + 24 more...
Podcasts are AM Radio for young people. | + 28 more...
Handwriting is your hand's accent | + 27 more...
Bing’s number one searched topic has to be Google | + 27 more...
Bandaids are stickers you earn for being an idiot | + 27 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 14 January 2024
Realized we're closer to the year 2070 than 1970. | + 25 more...
Your generation title is the new astrology sign | + 25 more...
People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 27 more...
a mosquito can fly but a fly can’t mosquito | + 28 more...
You learn how to ride a bike by trusting you can. | + 28 more...
It’s ironic that axes are made from wood | + 25 more...
The fly is the least creatively named animal | + 28 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 07 January 2024
Heavy metal poisoning isn't as cool as it sounds. | + 26 more...
3D cinema just kind of seems to have sizzled off | + 24 more...
Every leap year we get one extra free day of rent | + 25 more...
You have a new first word every language learned | + 28 more...
beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 25 more...
Next year the 21st century will be a quarter over | + 26 more...
The aesthetic of melancholia is ruined by a fart | + 28 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 31 December 2023
Two people can not go to each others’ funeral. | + 27 more...
Your bed is a charging station for your body. | + 26 more...
A good post is only as good as its best comment. | + 27 more...
Smoking is the plant based alternative to vaping. | + 24 more...
It's easier to believe in a hell than a heaven | + 26 more...
The way you make a family isn't family friendly. | + 25 more...
The Grinch must be slanging it under that fur | + 28 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 24 December 2023
People constantly leave behind a trail of warmth | + 27 more...
Bad grammar is the bad breath of the digital age. | + 28 more...
Curtains are an invention we can all get behind | + 24 more...
Fish and Birds are not pets, they are prisoners | + 26 more...
Homeless people can’t be put under house arrest | + 24 more...
Whales play Marco Polo on the highest difficulty | + 25 more...
IMDB is LinkedIn for the entertainment industry | + 27 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 17 December 2023
The notion that lying gets you nowhere is a lie | + 26 more...
Most family recipes likely come from a cookbook | + 27 more...
we are what we eat but we dont eat what we are | + 28 more...
Memento Mori is a fancier way of saying YOLO | + 24 more...
Modern cars are kind of like mini spaceships | + 25 more...
Prehistorical people didn’t know their own age | + 26 more...
Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 25 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 10 December 2023
A LEGO set is really a puzzle with instructions | + 26 more...
Humans are the only species they named themselves | + 24 more...
There’s no such thing as an endless supply | + 26 more...
The first human's parents weren't human. | + 25 more...
Ironically, HR is often the least diverse team. | + 28 more...
Pregnant women are the only true bodybuilders | + 28 more...
a car key travels further than the car itself | + 24 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 03 December 2023
Santa Claus has list of addresses of all evil people and he refuses to share it with police | + 25 more...
Jingle Bell Rock is more swing than rock. | + 24 more...
Hearse drivers can use an HOV lane with impunity. | + 28 more...
Everything you’ve ever thrown away still exists. | + 24 more...
Morality and knowledge are not directly related | + 28 more...
Clothing brands use you as free advertisement | + 25 more...
Technically all cars in video games are electric | + 27 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 26 November 2023
There are stupid questions. | + 26 more...
You rarely see a depiction of toddler zombies | + 25 more...
When you are in the shower, you are under water. | + 28 more...
Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 24 more...
AirBNBs don't ever serve us breakfast. | + 24 more...
It's ironic that there are statues of Medusa. | + 28 more...
The internet is a zoo where you watch people. | + 24 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 19 November 2023
A nest is both a birdhouse and a treehouse | + 24 more...
the way you make a family is NOT family friendly. | + 27 more...
An orgasm is easier to fake than a sneeze | + 28 more...
Eggs are honorary dairy | + 28 more...
No one can win a 'being late' competition | + 24 more...
People just act like analyst is a normal word. | + 28 more...
The third hand on a clock is the second hand | + 28 more...
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 12 November 2023
A brain transplant is actually a body transplant | + 24 more...
Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 28 more...
Everyone taller than you was once your height | + 24 more...
In a lot of ways, it's more expensive to be poor. | + 26 more...