All Episodes

Lynyrd Skynyrd is the the original 'Tragedeigh'. | + 24 more...

Recess is a break for both children and teachers. | + 25 more...

Some pets likely think that roombas are alive. | + 26 more...

Freedom of speech is free. Being heard is not. | + 24 more...

A paper cut is a tree's last act of defiance. | + 26 more...

People pay to make their cars quieter and louder. | + 27 more...

Dolphins have belly buttons. That's weird. | + 25 more...

A telephone makes sound travel faster than sound. | + 26 more...

Jaws was an innocent shark doing shark things. | + 26 more...

Onlyfans and churches both monetize loneliness. | + 25 more...

There is always a reverse harem in a bee hive | + 27 more...

Kindness is an act of rebellion | + 26 more...

The Universe is a maximum security prison. | + 25 more...

Mold growing on mushrooms is fungus Inception | + 27 more...

Musically, Bo Burnham is Weird Al’s evil twin. | + 27 more...

Monopoly has a monopoly on monopoly games. | + 27 more...

Halloween is the greatest crossover event ever | + 28 more...

clothes are among the sexiest inventions | + 26 more...

Air quality is measured by air quantity | + 24 more...

Everything has an advantage and a disadvantage | + 24 more...

A funny pun is punny fun. | + 24 more...

Alcohol is the real gateway drug | + 24 more...

George Washington never knew dinosaurs existed | + 26 more...

A bobsleigh track designer is a pretty niche job | + 25 more...

All storms at the north pole come from the south. | + 26 more...

Public transportation teaches us to be punctual | + 27 more...

The world used to be free. Now it closes at 11PM. | + 26 more...

Erotic nurse outfits look nothing like scrubs. | + 28 more...

That song you hate is someone's favorite song | + 26 more...

One person's sunset is another person's sunrise. | + 24 more...

A LEGO set is really a puzzle with instructions | + 27 more...

Every room is an escape room if you are very dumb | + 27 more...

You have a new first word every language learned | + 28 more...

freak accidents are lotteries no one wants to win | + 24 more...

Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 26 more...

Tipping can be seen as a tax on the empathetic. | + 24 more...

To antimatter entities, we'd be the antimatter. | + 24 more...

The first sentient AI will pretend not to be. | + 26 more...

We don't choose what we like, our body does | + 24 more...

Being tired as a kid meant sleep would fix it. Being tired as an adult can mean you need a different life. | + 26 more...

Nailed it is positive but screwed it is negative | + 24 more...

The more they connect us, the lonelier we become. | + 25 more...

Life as a flower seems beautiful and horrifying. | + 24 more...

When they die the composers become decomposers. | + 27 more...

Apple soup made with bone broth is bone apple tea | + 25 more...

Botox is a performance enhancing drug for poker. | + 26 more...

Light beer weighs the same amount as regular beer | + 28 more...

Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 24 more...

In a skeleton fight, every fracture is exposed. | + 24 more...

In videogames, intrusive thoughts always win | + 27 more...

The ritual of making your bed predates beds. | + 28 more...

We are all astronauts, earth is our ship | + 26 more...

It feels weird being the same age as old people! | + 24 more...

We trust the back of our seats way too much | + 26 more...

Any site is a dating site if you’re brave enough | + 25 more...

A candle exists in all 4 states of matter at once | + 26 more...

Camping is technically being homeless for fun. | + 28 more...

You only have a lap while you’re sitting. | + 26 more...

Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 26 more...

Original Tupperware will likely outlast all of us | + 26 more...

Secret admirers were just stalkers all along. | + 25 more...

Gen Alpha kids can legally drive in some places. | + 26 more...

People named Ted are always performing Ted Talks. | + 24 more...

We frown on nepotism but praise family businesses | + 28 more...

Dave and busters is adult chuckee cheese | + 25 more...

First you learn to read, then you read to learn. | + 26 more...

The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 26 more...

Rabbits are the mammal version of grasshoppers | + 27 more...

Common sense is appearantly not that common | + 27 more...

Safety instructions are written in blood. | + 28 more...

Chopsticks are the solution to plastic cutlery. | + 28 more...

Divorce rate among socks is astonishingly high | + 25 more...

You see more suns at night than in the daytime. | + 25 more...

Cell phones in movies never have cases. | + 28 more...

Nothing we ever do has a 100% chance of survival | + 25 more...

Your windshield doesn't know why you scream at it | + 26 more...

A LEGO set is really a puzzle with instructions | + 25 more...

It feels weird being the same age as old people! | + 28 more...

Lunchables are charcuterie boards for kids. | + 25 more...

Robot errors are still caused by human error | + 25 more...

The antithesis of plot armor is a red shirt. | + 26 more...

Arms for your chairs are chairs for your arms | + 25 more...

It's impossible to live in an abandoned building. | + 25 more...

One day you will have your last bite of pizza. | + 26 more...

It’s more acceptable to wear 0 shoes than 1 shoe | + 27 more...

Every store is a museum when you’re broke | + 24 more...

You do not see keyboards with lowercase letters. | + 26 more...

Arcades are a way for children to gamble legally | + 28 more...

When a person dies, their will is their loot drop | + 27 more...

Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 27 more...

Giraffes have nowhere to hide during a storm. | + 27 more...

Forest are either really relaxing or really scary | + 28 more...

1981 and 2024 are as far apart as 1981 and 1938 | + 27 more...

Most people's organs will never see sunlight. | + 24 more...

People can still die from succesful CPR | + 25 more...

Paprika is the savory version of cinnamon | + 24 more...

Technically, everyone is full of themselves. | + 25 more...

at a certain age you just stop getting tickled | + 27 more...

The average person is dead. | + 26 more...

The first guy to milk a cow just had to be drunk. | + 24 more...

Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 24 more...

Food abuse kills more people than drug abuse does | + 27 more...

Undercover cops are civilian impersonators. | + 28 more...

Our sleep ability has a cooldown. | + 25 more...

Many people sleep to escape their nightmare. | + 24 more...

We dress up for people we want to be naked with. | + 28 more...

Cutting corners just adds more corners. | + 27 more...

You never actually put dirty laundry on an airer | + 24 more...

Roses are red, but violets aren't blue. | + 27 more...

Binaca use in movies has really fallen off | + 24 more...

Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 25 more...

Location is all that separates a walk from a hike | + 25 more...

Snow White’s father was an abuse enabler. | + 26 more...

Word searches must be so much funner in braille. | + 26 more...

It's easier to be vulnerable to a stranger because you can't hurt a stranger the way you can hurt a loved one | + 26 more...

Most people with athletes foot are not athletes. | + 28 more...

the easiest boiled egg to make is the hard ones. | + 24 more...

The human hand is perfectly evolved to pet dogs | + 25 more...

Woodpeckers are the jackhammers of the forest | + 24 more...

Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 24 more...

You have a new first word every language learned | + 24 more...

Peanuts turn into peanut butter as you chew them | + 24 more...

Trees make flat land bearable for living | + 26 more...

Earth has more first world problems than Mercury. | + 28 more...

Most people in the world don’t have 4 seasons | + 27 more...

Most cars will never be upside down. | + 26 more...

It’s more acceptable to wear 0 shoes than 1 shoe | + 25 more...

Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 26 more...

A ton of elephants isn't a ton of elephants | + 27 more...

A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg. | + 25 more...

Matching socks up on laundry day is a mini game. | + 28 more...

An old guy is older than an older guy. | + 27 more...

There's no gangsta way to get out of a hammock | + 24 more...

A cyclops wouldn’t have any depth perception. | + 25 more...

Nothing is universally scary to everyone. | + 27 more...

There’s a thin line between a pet and a hostage | + 27 more...

You likely don’t notice the smell of your house. | + 24 more...

They need to put a timer next to traffic lights. | + 25 more...

Octopi and mushrooms give off the same energy | + 28 more...

The tooth fairy teaches us to sell our bodies | + 24 more...

An orgasm is easier to fake than a sneeze | + 28 more...

We pretend to make babies to feel good | + 28 more...

Marketing is attempted mind control. | + 24 more...

If a rhythm is fast enough, it becomes a pitch. | + 26 more...

You’re a character in many people's stories. | + 26 more...

Too many people don't like the people they love. | + 27 more...

Sound can travel through anything except nothing. | + 27 more...

Cats probably think we are cleaning our ice cream | + 25 more...

We frown on nepotism but praise family businesses | + 26 more...

Satire only works when everyone is equally smart | + 25 more...

Some dogs understand English better than others | + 25 more...

Somewhere out there is a raccoon washing a cheeto | + 28 more...

Someone came up with the concept of concepts | + 27 more...

When they die the composers become decomposers. | + 24 more...

Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 28 more...

Everybody likely has a murderer ancestor | + 27 more...

Drowning is kinda like being buried alive. | + 25 more...

Someone has probably farted so hard they died. | + 27 more...

Being dead is the same as before you were born. | + 25 more...

Zoomed out enough, everyone’s living on an island | + 25 more...

Shorter people can hide boogers better. | + 25 more...

People constantly leave behind a trail of warmth | + 24 more...

Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 27 more...

Teleportation in SciFi always has almost zero lag | + 24 more...

The vast, vast majority of books are textbooks. | + 25 more...

Nobody is normal if you know them well enough. | + 28 more...

Razed and raised are opposites of one another. | + 27 more...

On average 6 to 8 people die between your blinks. | + 28 more...

Your dog licked their balls, and then your face. | + 25 more...

The Earth's average elevation is below sea level. | + 25 more...

It is impossible to act without self interest. | + 24 more...

Even bands with only one fan, still have a #1 fan | + 27 more...

Music might be the only universal language | + 27 more...

beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 28 more...

The word 'monosyllable' has five syllables in it. | + 25 more...

Most of our litter will be artifacts in 100 years | + 28 more...

Machine gunners in movies never swap out barrels. | + 27 more...

People constantly leave behind a trail of warmth | + 25 more...

Every message is a message from a dying person. | + 24 more...

You buy trash bags just to throw them away. | + 27 more...

When you jump up and down, you don’t jump down. | + 25 more...

Pregnant women are technically body builders | + 28 more...

Everyone smells if you sniff hard enough. | + 25 more...

Sound can travel through anything except nothing. | + 27 more...

When you're pregnant, every hug is a group hug. | + 26 more...

Saturday is the least insulted day of the week | + 26 more...

Intimacy is being weird and unfiltered together. | + 25 more...

The Queen saw over a third of US history. | + 26 more...

Fertilizers made form cow manure are bullshit. | + 26 more...

We just take vacations to microdose on being rich | + 24 more...

It's ironic that there are statues of Medusa. | + 27 more...

Cereal boxes never state milk is sold separately | + 28 more...

All dogs are either bitches or sons of bitches | + 27 more...

Before I had kids, I never got sick. | + 28 more...

One type of hell is being ambitious but lazy. | + 28 more...

Everyone in the world is the winner of sperm race | + 27 more...

Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 24 more...

It is easier to fake happiness than sadness | + 24 more...

Machine gunners in movies never swap out barrels. | + 24 more...

The cerebellum is the ballsack of the brain | + 24 more...

Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 25 more...

Recess is a break for both children and teachers. | + 28 more...

You buy garbage bags just to throw them away | + 24 more...

Wolverine probably still has his wisdom teeth. | + 27 more...

Fruits technically qualify as fast food | + 24 more...

Very few people have a foot length exactly 1 foot | + 25 more...

Public transportation teaches us to be punctual | + 25 more...

Cemeteries must smell awful to bloodhounds. | + 28 more...

Ruffles potato chips are ribbed for your pleasure | + 28 more...

Two people can not go to each others’ funeral. | + 28 more...

Flashlights aren’t meant for flashing | + 27 more...

Pinocciho is an infinite wood suply | + 25 more...

During earthquakes, coffins become maracas | + 24 more...

Arguing with someone online is turn based combat. | + 24 more...

Life is all about you, and not at all about you. | + 26 more...

Paper folders don’t actually fold papers | + 25 more...

Surveys show that 100% of people fill out surveys | + 24 more...

The most common hairstyle is bald. | + 25 more...

Axe murderers don't kill axes. | + 26 more...

Making a family is not very family friendly. | + 24 more...

You can't angrily roll up an automatic window. | + 28 more...

In a skeleton fight, every fracture is exposed. | + 27 more...

Colloquial is very much not a colloquial word | + 27 more...

People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 24 more...

Your generation title is the new astrology sign | + 26 more...

Archaeology is almost always groundbreaking. | + 26 more...

Everyone you touch will die, but not instantly. | + 28 more...

A car's faulty fuel gauge can gaslight you | + 28 more...

There is no way to gracefully chase a bouncy ball | + 28 more...

A good post is only as good as its best comment. | + 25 more...

Salt and Sugar can make or break foods and drinks | + 24 more...

Dryer lint is the average colour of your laundry | + 25 more...

Santa has a really weird job | + 27 more...

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from. | + 28 more...

With enough confidence, anything can be a chair. | + 26 more...

Door to door salesman are in real life pop up ads | + 25 more...

When you're living, you're also dying in a sense. | + 28 more...

Almost all criminals are bad at being criminals. | + 26 more...

Nature Valley bars are the glitter bombs of food. | + 26 more...

Cells are multiplied by dividing themselves | + 27 more...

The CIA is omnipotent in conspiracy theories. | + 28 more...

The buttplug is the pacifier’s first cousin. | + 25 more...

Humans are the most widespread invasive species. | + 28 more...

Our ancestors would be so confused about us trying to avoid 'spoiling our appetite'. | + 27 more...

No one sings you happy birthday when you’re born | + 28 more...

Hourly wage workers get punished for efficiency | + 26 more...

‘Boxing gloves’ aren’t gloves, they’re mittens | + 26 more...

Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 24 more...

Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 24 more...

Getting the job is harder than doing the job | + 24 more...

The world will never be peaceful or equal. | + 28 more...

Machine gunners in movies never swap out barrels. | + 26 more...

Doppelgangers are isotopes of the same gene pool | + 25 more...

Drummers are Conductors for their band. | + 24 more...

The Matrix is already a quarter century old | + 27 more...

You have to fake sleep before you can real sleep. | + 26 more...

The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 24 more...

Most family recipes likely come from a cookbook | + 28 more...

Taking candy from a baby is actually a good thing | + 26 more...

Most pets have probably never met their fathers | + 27 more...

Technically, every house is a homeless shelter | + 28 more...

We're the intermediary in the landfill industry | + 24 more...

Logically a craigslist is someone who craigsls | + 24 more...

There are stars that are bigger than black holes. | + 26 more...

Chicken Caesar salad is poor man’s surf and turf | + 28 more...

MSN Messenger was training for Microsoft Teams. | + 27 more...

The Epic of Gilgamesh is doomed yaoi. | + 24 more...

Anything is portable if you're strong enough. | + 26 more...

To antimatter entities, we'd be the antimatter. | + 25 more...

Parallelograms are lazy rectangles. | + 27 more...

We frown on nepotism but praise family businesses | + 28 more...

It must be hard to tell if an actor is lying. | + 24 more...

Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 25 more...

Life feels more real when it's warm outside | + 25 more...

People also shed skin, only very slowly | + 26 more...

A bullet only does it's job after it's fired | + 27 more...

It's okay to bet as long as you never gamble. | + 27 more...

Bullseye would be the world's greatest juggler. | + 24 more...

Solar power is technically nuclear power. | + 28 more...

We rarely ever see suits stored in suitcases. | + 27 more...

Modern cars are kind of like mini spaceships | + 26 more...

The price of going barefoot is a stubbed toe. | + 28 more...

Quebec is the Wario of France. | + 24 more...

Humans are the only species they named themselves | + 25 more...

You never hear anyone swear to Satan | + 25 more...

Star Trek was a military roleplay for pacifists. | + 26 more...

Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 25 more...

Maturity is knowing when to be immature. | + 28 more...

Sperm donation is human pollination. | + 27 more...

Everyone’s got one good gofundme in them. | + 26 more...

Most people will not be able to retire | + 28 more...

Somebody needs to go wake up Green Day. | + 25 more...

Most of our litter will be artifacts in 100 years | + 24 more...

You can’t touch music, but music can touch you. | + 28 more...

Most underestimate the capability of humans. | + 24 more...

All storms at the north pole come from the south. | + 26 more...

House spiders were around before houses existed. | + 24 more...

Botox is a performance enhancing drug for poker. | + 26 more...

We will never truly know when humans go extinct. | + 28 more...

The tooth fairy teaches us to sell our bodies | + 24 more...

Making a family is not very family friendly. | + 24 more...

Freedom of speech is free. Being heard is not. | + 28 more...

Octopi and mushrooms give off the same energy | + 26 more...

The lottery is pay to win | + 28 more...

Twitch streamers are professional ramblers. | + 28 more...

Death is only sad for the ones left living. | + 26 more...

Hot water smells different than cold water | + 24 more...

Been yelled at more as an adult than as a kid. | + 24 more...

The most common place to stand is 'around.' | + 27 more...

You know you're thirsty when water tastes good | + 28 more...

People just act like analyst is a normal word. | + 28 more...

Life is the freest thing, yet we monetize it | + 26 more...

The majority of jobs can be learned by googling | + 26 more...

Two people can not go to each others’ funeral. | + 27 more...

beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 27 more...

The second we die, we become someone's job. | + 24 more...

Eye drops are technically blinker fluid | + 25 more...

World wars have never involved the entire world. | + 26 more...

Batman's Utility belt is a glorified Fanny Pack | + 28 more...

Star Trek was a military roleplay for pacifists. | + 24 more...

Some people get nostalgia from smelling ammonia | + 28 more...

Your pee is always touching your body. | + 26 more...

Every living organism is 100% recycled material. | + 28 more...

A cyclops wouldn’t have any depth perception. | + 24 more...

Wearing cosmetics is old school editing. | + 25 more...

The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 28 more...

Every wooden house is technically a tree house | + 26 more...

You never see katana videos where they cut bones | + 27 more...

Your car key has traveled more than your car | + 25 more...

To cut bread into 10 slices, you need 9 slices. | + 27 more...

Overthinking is rarely a problem for the majority | + 27 more...

Our insides are always in complete darkness | + 27 more...

Everyone wants to get old, but not be old. | + 25 more...

Your generation title is the new astrology sign | + 27 more...

A telephone makes sound travel faster than sound. | + 26 more...

Most men get their first flowers at their funeral | + 28 more...

There must be gay couples named Adam and Steve | + 27 more...

Nothing sounds as nonsensical as a flying disc | + 24 more...

A full bladder is the most effective alarm clock. | + 26 more...

true collectibles don't start out as collectibles | + 26 more...

Woodpeckers are the jackhammers of the forest | + 24 more...

Robot errors are still caused by human error | + 24 more...

Air vents in film are always way too clean | + 25 more...

You see more suns at night than in the daytime. | + 26 more...

Morality and knowledge are not directly related | + 25 more...

There just aren't enough cats in Star Wars. | + 26 more...

Abnormal things happen, and that's normal. | + 25 more...

You are never blown by the same wind twice. | + 26 more...

Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 28 more...

The Cybertruck is the DeLorean of our generation. | + 25 more...

Someone came up with the concept of concepts | + 25 more...

Cereal boxes never state milk is sold separately | + 28 more...

Technically a cigarette is a type of veggie wrap | + 26 more...

Your body is the most complex thing that you own. | + 28 more...

Teeth are luxury bones to insurance companies. | + 28 more...

Any carpet not fixed into place is a rug. | + 27 more...

Most Michael Jackson impersonators are white. | + 26 more...

If a rhythm is fast enough, it becomes a pitch. | + 25 more...

One day you will have your last bite of pizza. | + 26 more...

Only jeans are sold intentionally broken. | + 26 more...

Public transportation teaches us to be punctual | + 27 more...

Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 24 more...

A river is water with food in it. | + 24 more...

Being aware of our own ignorance is so powerful. | + 24 more...

First you learn to read, then you read to learn. | + 25 more...

The world used to be free. Now it closes at 11PM. | + 25 more...

When you're pregnant, every hug is a group hug. | + 26 more...

In plumbing, nipples are exclusively male things. | + 28 more...

Salt and Sugar can make or break foods and drinks | + 24 more...

Only you know the taste of the food you've eaten. | + 27 more...

Billboards are the cereal boxes of the road. | + 28 more...

Abnormal things happen, and that's normal. | + 28 more...

Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 27 more...

The fear of showing you're scared is doubly scary | + 27 more...

Nostalgia is no different than emotional Deja Vu. | + 28 more...

Spinning a spinner actually makes you the spinner | + 24 more...

Teeth are luxury bones to insurance companies. | + 27 more...

The only thing guaranteed in life is death | + 24 more...

Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 28 more...

Working in a morgue is a near death experience. | + 27 more...

Popcorn is technically a fried food. | + 27 more...

Doing work is easier than doing nothing all day. | + 28 more...

We just take vacations to microdose on being rich | + 28 more...

We are an NPC in everyone's life except ours | + 25 more...

About half of all escalators don't. | + 26 more...

Paprika is the savory version of cinnamon | + 25 more...

A cyclops wouldn’t have any depth perception. | + 26 more...

You have a new first word every language learned | + 28 more...

At some point, kids won’t know who Ash Ketchum is | + 28 more...

A brain transplant is actually a body transplant | + 27 more...

In a cornfield, spiders DO make cobwebs. | + 24 more...

We waste so much space staying on the surface. | + 27 more...

From the Sun’s perspective, shadows don’t exist | + 27 more...

1981 and 2024 are as far apart as 1981 and 1938 | + 27 more...

Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 24 more...

Mold growing on mushrooms is fungus Inception | + 28 more...

Very full is less than just full. | + 25 more...

Breasts are nature's stress balls | + 25 more...

A solution without a problem is a problem. | + 27 more...

No one in the live studio audience ever sneezes | + 25 more...

Teeth are luxury bones to insurance companies. | + 27 more...

Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 26 more...

Lots of people use cheese like it's a seasoning. | + 25 more...

You will never see your own death certificate | + 26 more...

Very strict parents raise highly skilled liars. | + 27 more...

Forensic Analysis and Archaeology are in the same field, but the main factor is how long the body has been there. | + 24 more...

All storms at the north pole come from the south. | + 26 more...

twentyfourcharacterslong is 24 characters long | + 26 more...

Sometimes it’s wrong to be right | + 28 more...

We are closer to 2070 than we are to 1970. | + 25 more...

Everything you can think of is a human concept | + 27 more...

Botox is a performance enhancing drug for poker. | + 28 more...

Whether something is a spectrum or not is binary | + 25 more...

Any site is a dating site if you’re brave enough | + 27 more...

When you eat salt, you’re just eating rocks. | + 28 more...

Some of the cheapest food is the healthiest | + 27 more...

Fasting is the cheapest dieting option. | + 26 more...

Bad reviews are more helpful than good reviews. | + 26 more...

The more you enjoy life, the shorter it feels. | + 26 more...

You've never been in an empty room before. | + 26 more...

The handle of an ax is a traitor to his own race. | + 28 more...

Whether something is a spectrum or not is binary | + 24 more...

The best birthday a guy can have is February 14. | + 28 more...

Overthinking is rarely a problem for the majority | + 26 more...

Makeup shouldn’t be allowed in beauty contests. | + 25 more...

Coffee filters and muffin wrappers are cousins | + 26 more...

People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 24 more...

Zoomed out enough, everyone’s living on an island | + 24 more...

Fish and Birds are not pets, they are prisoners | + 26 more...

Coffee filters and muffin wrappers are cousins | + 25 more...

When you light a lighter, it gets lighter | + 24 more...

Trail mix is a slow feeder for children | + 28 more...

You can hire a clown to perform just for you. | + 26 more...

Nothing makes sense, makes sense. | + 25 more...

You never hear about cellphone cameras breaking. | + 27 more...

House spiders were around before houses existed. | + 24 more...

Balloons are the most impacted by Inflation. | + 28 more...

Intimacy is being weird and unfiltered together. | + 27 more...

Every living organism is 100% recycled material. | + 24 more...

All our thoughts are filtered through language. | + 26 more...

Women have more privacy in restrooms than men | + 26 more...

Photoshop and filters are plagiarized beauty. | + 25 more...

You have a new first word every language learned | + 27 more...

All our thoughts are filtered through language. | + 27 more...

Intimacy is being weird and unfiltered together. | + 25 more...

A sausage is a meat balloon | + 26 more...

Giving birth must have been easy for Elastigirl | + 26 more...

Unclipped toenails drive sock sales | + 27 more...

We just take vacations to microdose on being rich | + 26 more...

Pigeons and pissed kitties emit identical sounds | + 25 more...

Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 24 more...

Arguing with someone online is turn based combat. | + 28 more...

you dont need to raise your hand when knocking | + 28 more...

Your pillow is also a second bed for your head. | + 26 more...

Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 25 more...

Most of us won't see the year 2100 | + 25 more...

Life gives you the test before the lesson | + 27 more...

Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 24 more...

Giving birth must have been easy for Elastigirl | + 27 more...

Laptops are predominantly used as desktop. | + 26 more...

There’s no such thing as an endless supply | + 24 more...

If DNA collection was mandatory at birth, there would be a significant increase in solved crimes. | + 28 more...

We live in a world where even dying is expensive | + 28 more...

You're late only if you do actually show up. | + 28 more...

Pancakes have absolutely no standard size | + 25 more...

Pets are the aristocrats of the animal kingdom. | + 24 more...

beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 24 more...

Clapping is a form of peer pressure | + 24 more...

Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 28 more...

Heavy metal poisoning isn't as cool as it sounds. | + 28 more...

Dogs must be sad that we never lick them | + 24 more...

Out there is person, who did the rickroll first | + 28 more...

Most people wipe one times too many | + 24 more...

Corn dogs are meat twinkies. | + 28 more...

Working in a morgue is a near death experience. | + 27 more...

You know you're thirsty when water tastes good | + 27 more...

The lottery is pay to win | + 24 more...

In Home Alone 2, Kevin is neither home nor alone for most of the movie. | + 25 more...

Vibranium is the Marvel mithril. | + 27 more...

Egg salad is chicken salad. | + 28 more...

Wood is rarer in the universe than diamonds | + 24 more...

Animals might think the road is one long rock | + 26 more...

We are a sad generation with happy pictures | + 28 more...

A brain transplant is actually a body transplant | + 26 more...

Spinning a spinner actually makes you the spinner | + 24 more...

It’s harder to reject pleasure than ignore pain | + 28 more...

Video games are mini games in the game of life. | + 25 more...

Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 26 more...

To be smart is realizing you really aren't | + 24 more...

When they die the composers become decomposers. | + 26 more...

The more people that get diagnosed as neurodivergent, the less typical neurotypicals become. | + 24 more...

Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 26 more...

A sundial is technically a nuclear powered clock | + 27 more...

You're late only if you do actually show up. | + 26 more...

Space stations are the least stationary stations. | + 24 more...

Saliva becomes gross when it's cold. | + 25 more...

Most of us are here because we are bored. | + 24 more...

You will never see your death certificate | + 27 more...

In a skeleton fight, every fracture is exposed. | + 28 more...

People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 28 more...

Retirement isn't an age, it's a financial status. | + 28 more...

Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 28 more...

The most boring person you recognize is youself | + 26 more...

Onomatopoeia doesn't exist in signed languages | + 24 more...

The world used to be free. Now it closes at 11PM. | + 24 more...

Spice is the only flavor our buttholes can taste. | + 25 more...

First you learn to read, then you read to learn. | + 25 more...

Technically, all plants are fusion powered. | + 25 more...

Mayonnaise is the exact inverse of Meringue | + 26 more...

Our bodies are planets for microorganisms. | + 24 more...

Manslaughter sounds way worse than murder | + 26 more...

dinosaur nuggies are made from evolved dinosaurs | + 27 more...

People lived in New Mexico before Mexico. | + 28 more...

You have to fake sleep before you can real sleep. | + 27 more...

You never hear any stories about King Charming. | + 24 more...

Steve Backshall sort of looks like Steve Irwin. | + 25 more...

A sundial is technically a nuclear powered clock | + 24 more...

The invention of the wheel was revolutionary | + 27 more...

The Milky Way actually has milk in it | + 24 more...

You have one dominant way of crossing your arms | + 26 more...

A moonlit night is really a sunlit night. | + 24 more...

Therapists talk you into brainwashing yourself. | + 26 more...

Eating an ape would make you a kind of cannibal. | + 27 more...

Maturity is knowing when to be immature. | + 25 more...

If bugs had a society like ours, their daily routine would be nonstop funerals. | + 24 more...

You can breakfast anytime during the day. | + 27 more...

Life is the freest thing, yet we monetize it | + 27 more...

We don't see anything except light. | + 28 more...

Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 24 more...

Each person really only gets one hill to die on. | + 24 more...

You don’t see a hole, you see what’s around it. | + 25 more...

Not enough songs have a xylophone solo in them. | + 26 more...

You only know you’ve fallen asleep once you’ve woken up. | + 27 more...

Zoomed out enough, everyone’s living on an island | + 28 more...

Imagine if Oxygen was visible to the naked eye. | + 25 more...

A broken dishwasher makes a damn fine drying rack | + 28 more...

It’s really easy to forget that vanilla is black | + 25 more...

Technically, everyone is full of themselves. | + 25 more...

Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 26 more...

Any site is a dating site if you’re brave enough | + 25 more...

Human skin is really good at not getting stained | + 25 more...

Everything in the universe was once touching. | + 26 more...

Humans are technically a hydroelectric bioreactor | + 24 more...

You do not see keyboards with lowercase letters. | + 25 more...

A full bladder is the most effective alarm clock. | + 25 more...

Many people sleep to escape their nightmare. | + 28 more...

Musically, Bo Burnham is Weird Al’s evil twin. | + 27 more...

Most of our litter will be artifacts in 100 years | + 24 more...

Every stranger is a window to new opportunities. | + 24 more...

Everything is too much until you're used to it. | + 24 more...

The taste of cola is almost impossible to explain | + 28 more...

Some of the cheapest food is the healthiest | + 28 more...

Deaf people must be very good at playing charades | + 25 more...

Duos are more memorable than trios. | + 25 more...

The older you get, the riskier it is to fart. | + 25 more...

Chicken Caesar salad is poor man’s surf and turf | + 25 more...

A broken dishwasher makes a damn fine drying rack | + 28 more...

Dolphins have belly buttons. That's weird. | + 25 more...

Cannibal tribes probably don’t believe in ghosts | + 25 more...

For some, a grave is the only property they'll ever own. | + 24 more...

Scars tell a story that only few know. | + 28 more...

It's a shame that more of history wasn't recorded | + 24 more...

A duck with one leg swims in circles | + 26 more...

Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 25 more...

Tipping is after the help and bribing is before | + 28 more...

A solution without a problem is a problem. | + 25 more...

Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 25 more...

There is no 10 in a base infinity number system. | + 25 more...

dinosaur nuggies are made from evolved dinosaurs | + 24 more...

beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 25 more...

You never see meat based vegetables | + 28 more...

To be subpar in golf you have to be above par. | + 26 more...

Everyone in the world is the winner of sperm race | + 26 more...

Sauce is paint for your tastebuds | + 25 more...

Homeless people can’t be put under house arrest | + 26 more...

There will eventually be a last mortal human. | + 26 more...

Humans are an invasive species to most places | + 26 more...

The bedroom is the real restroom | + 28 more...

You can't really stand backwards on stairs. | + 26 more...

You know a fart is bad when it even bothers you. | + 27 more...

We are never not tasting something. | + 28 more...

You know a fart is bad when it even bothers you. | + 27 more...

Bingo was the name of the farmer, not the dog. | + 24 more...

Tipping is after the help and bribing is before | + 25 more...

Everything in the universe is a little bit bendy | + 25 more...

The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 26 more...

To be smart is realizing you really aren't | + 28 more...

Girl friends are the gateway drug to girlfriends. | + 27 more...

Real glass cannons would break from the recoil. | + 24 more...

Mindy still owes millions of people a Gengar. | + 27 more...

We waste so much space staying on the surface. | + 25 more...

Little Billy is a modern folklore character. | + 24 more...

Hush puppies are just ️oneless corn dogs. | + 28 more...

2040 is closer than 2006 | + 26 more...

Balloons are the most impacted by Inflation. | + 25 more...

Drinking lids are sippy cup lids for adults. | + 28 more...

One day we will have ads in outer space | + 26 more...

The average woman sees more blood in her lifetime than the average man. | + 27 more...

Farting is technically a form of detoxing. | + 24 more...

The queen just spoiled the end of The Crown | + 26 more...

Taxi drivers involuntarily hear a lot of spoilers | + 27 more...

There is no 10 in a base infinity number system. | + 26 more...

All trophies are participation trophies. | + 26 more...

the easiest boiled egg to make is the hard ones. | + 24 more...

Like snowflakes, no two farts are exactly alike. | + 24 more...

Leaf blowers can actually blow anything. | + 24 more...

Life's purpose is to rearrange atoms. | + 28 more...

When you light a lighter, it gets lighter | + 27 more...

We’ll never know what it smells like underwater. | + 27 more...

When you light a lighter, it gets lighter | + 24 more...

at a certain age you just stop getting tickled | + 27 more...

With rising temperatures, human society might shift to being more nocturnal. | + 6 more...

Word searches must be so much funner in braille. | + 3 more...

It must suck to be bi and date a jealous person. | + 7 more...

Magic is circular. Science is rectangular. | + 8 more...

People tend to notice and appreciate the little things in video games more than in real life. | + 2 more...

You do not see keyboards with lowercase letters. | + 8 more...

Ice cream cones are edible portion control. | + 6 more...

It’s an honor to get last place in the Olympics. | + 10 more...

Very strict parents raise highly skilled liars. | + 19 more...

Before I had kids, I never got sick. | + 12 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 21 July 2024

A full beard is a natural mask. | + 17 more...

One day, AI might wonder if humans are sentient. | + 24 more...

It's impossible to live in an abandoned building. | + 20 more...

Active volcanoes are rocks that spit other rocks. | + 22 more...

Igloos are houses made of water. | + 16 more...

Life scatters people, but death gathers them. | + 22 more...

Every moment will go down in history. | + 22 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 14 July 2024

Standing desks are seen as progressive but so is giving cashiers chairs. | + 15 more...

Manners are essentially filters we apply to our minds. | + 7 more...

You can never take a picture of the present. | + 18 more...

Dolphins probably call our planet Water. | + 23 more...

You don't have to buckle your belt at the front. | + 25 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 07 July 2024

Voodoo dolls would be really useful for surgeons. | + 17 more...

Stilts and kilts would be a terrible combination. | + 20 more...

Narwhals are unicorns of the ocean. | + 15 more...

Things are never on fire. Fire is on things. | + 18 more...

A person who is 20 will have had 21 birthdays. | + 23 more...

Meetings are for people who love to talk. | + 21 more...

Jam is baby food with added sugar. | + 22 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 30 June 2024

Every civilization has its Pong. | + 12 more...

Wanting to be special is rather ordinary. | + 20 more...

Every day is the worst day of someone's life. | + 23 more...

What if everyone stopped tipping? Would it force business to actually pay their employees? | + 27 more...

Birds have diarrhea their entire lives. | + 24 more...

Tarzan’s first wet dream did not involve a human | + 25 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 23 June 2024

Imitation crab is the only true 'Fish Stick' | + 27 more...

Most people have not seen the Wikipedia Home Page | + 26 more...

Humans have always been watercooled | + 24 more...

From the Sun’s perspective, shadows don’t exist | + 24 more...

Mindy still owes millions of people a Gengar. | + 24 more...

Cutting corners just adds more corners. | + 24 more...

The only good thing about X is community notes. | + 23 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 16 June 2024

Chicken Caesar salad is poor man’s surf and turf | + 25 more...

Not everyone can be alone without feeling lonely. | + 27 more...

You never sneeze in your sleep | + 27 more...

More people enter a cemetery than exit it. | + 7 more...

By weight, a hamburger costs more than a new car. | + 28 more...

The Earth's surface area is always changing | + 15 more...

Tow trucks give cars a ride | + 9 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 09 June 2024

Never seen a fun fact that’s made any one laugh | + 25 more...

That song you hate is someone's favorite song | + 24 more...

You can never slam a revolving door. | + 24 more...

Tipping is panhandling for employed workers | + 26 more...

Having to wear glasses is the most attractive disability. | + 25 more...

You never get to enjoy giving a cannibal diarrhea | + 26 more...

Mothers are the most indirectly insulted group | + 25 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 02 June 2024

Being really unlucky often involves being lucky | + 28 more...

You very rarely see a referee with facial hair. | + 27 more...

Smartphone games were way more fun 10 years ago | + 27 more...

There are many more products at $4.99 than at $5. | + 26 more...

the hardest thing to photograph is your own phone | + 27 more...

Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 26 more...

Meatballs sure sounds better than balls of meat | + 28 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 26 May 2024

You've never been in an empty room before. | + 24 more...

Most people are afraid of being too happy | + 28 more...

Certain movies are meant to be watched twice | + 25 more...

Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 26 more...

Boeing is onomatopoeia for something conking out | + 24 more...

Life gives more second chances than people think | + 25 more...

Orange ice cream sounds more popular than it is | + 26 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 19 May 2024

Solar power is technically nuclear power. | + 25 more...

We rarely ever see suits stored in suitcases. | + 25 more...

Neuralink is going to destroy the poker scene | + 27 more...

A bullet only does it's job after it's fired | + 28 more...

A sinking ship must be exciting for sea life | + 27 more...

Every room is an escape room if you are very dumb | + 26 more...

Teleportation in SciFi always has almost zero lag | + 24 more...

We all might be colorblind and we wouldn't know. | + 24 more...

freak accidents are lotteries no one wants to win | + 24 more...

Fake streetlights in video games emit real light | + 28 more...

Things taste less sweet when they're cold. | + 28 more...

Peanuts turn into peanut butter as you chew them | + 24 more...

It’s harder to reject pleasure than ignore pain | + 25 more...

We’ve all just accepted that our phones listen to us | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 05 May 2024

Buckets are waterproof baskets. | + 24 more...

A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg. | + 26 more...

We need a slur for advertisements | + 26 more...

Chickens and parrots are domesticated dinosaurs. | + 26 more...

Everyone takes a crap, but no one gives a crap. | + 24 more...

Your phone has seen more of you than other humans | + 28 more...

You are the center of the observable universe | + 26 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 28 April 2024

At some point, kids won’t know who Ash Ketchum is | + 25 more...

Life as a flower seems beautiful and horrifying. | + 27 more...

Dryer lint is the average colour of your laundry | + 25 more...

Cats generally make a lot more sounds in movies. | + 28 more...

None of your ancestors died a virgin | + 24 more...

2019 to 2024 felt way faster than 2014 to 2019 | + 25 more...

The older we get, the more fall damage we take. | + 25 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 22 April 2024

Spinning a spinner actually makes you the spinner | + 27 more...

Too many people don't like the people they love. | + 28 more...

There is no 10 in a base infinity number system. | + 25 more...

There is no way to gracefully chase a bouncy ball | + 28 more...

Money is not a problem until you don’t have any. | + 24 more...

Only jeans are sold intentionally broken. | + 27 more...

Zombies having extra durability makes no sense | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 14 April 2024

Growing in love is better than falling in love | + 26 more...

Most living creatures die by being eaten alive | + 28 more...

You give away almost 100% of your birthday cake. | + 27 more...

You are not stuck in traffic, you are the traffic | + 28 more...

Pregnant women basically turn food into humans. | + 27 more...

Journalism is the public's intelligence agency | + 26 more...

You never own money it’s just your turn with it | + 28 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 07 April 2024

Every bad person was once innocent. | + 28 more...

It's not physically possible to count to a trillion outloud. | + 25 more...

Sharp cheddar is the dark chocolate of cheese. | + 27 more...

People on limited data plans pay to watch ads | + 26 more...

2025 has become less futuristic. | + 26 more...

Only you know the taste of the food you've eaten. | + 24 more...

Real court is so boring compared to TV court | + 25 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 31 March 2024

There’s no wrong way to orient a map or a globe. | + 28 more...

Commonwealth sounds a lot better than Rarepoverty | + 26 more...

Most people smell the same at a hotel breakfast | + 26 more...

Kid Rock is the Florida of rock music | + 27 more...

Animals might think the road is one long rock | + 24 more...

The CIA is omnipotent in conspiracy theories. | + 25 more...

True loners don't complain about being lonely. | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 24 March 2024

It feels weird being the same age as old people! | + 26 more...

Judge Judy was actually a game show all along | + 27 more...

Manslaughter sounds way worse than murder | + 25 more...

People are offended when told they're offensive. | + 25 more...

There isn’t really a good synonym for thesaurus. | + 28 more...

Everything in the universe is a little bit bendy | + 28 more...

Near white is the most impractical clothes colour | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 17 March 2024

A broken clock is also wrong 1438 times a day | + 26 more...

In neuroscience, the human brain studies itself. | + 26 more...

Most hatred is based on ignorance and obstinacy | + 28 more...

Instead of death note just a stubbed toe note | + 26 more...

No grape flavored drink tastes like gapes. | + 26 more...

Sharks rarely get to eat beef, pork, or chicken. | + 24 more...

At one point in prehistory everybody was homeless | + 26 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 10 March 2024

Statistically, there truly are lucky people | + 24 more...

Almost all criminals are bad at being criminals. | + 25 more...

Somehow, pigeons figured out we're harmless wimps | + 27 more...

The grown up version of pinky promise is an NDA | + 27 more...

There is always a full solar eclipse somewhere | + 25 more...

There must be gay couples named Adam and Steve | + 28 more...

Everyone in Star Wars is bilingual | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 03 March 2024

Dinosaur nuggets are made of actual dinosaurs. | + 25 more...

Michael Westen is a better spy than James Bond. | + 25 more...

Nailed it is positive but screwed it is negative | + 24 more...

People drive to the gym to walk on the treadmill | + 28 more...

There's nothing more expensive than a cheap BMW | + 24 more...

Salaried workers take a 0.3% paycut on leap years | + 26 more...

Everything you can think of is a human concept | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 25 February 2024

You can always trust on gravity to let you down. | + 26 more...

A mile a minute sounds a lot faster than 60 MPH | + 25 more...

Your butt can shoot out all states of matter. | + 26 more...

Nothing quite ruins sexting like typos | + 24 more...

One Newton is about the same weight as an apple. | + 27 more...

People pay to make their cars quieter and louder. | + 25 more...

It’s unfathomably easy to ruin your entire life | + 26 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 18 February 2024

The sun gives you both vitamins and cancer | + 28 more...

Trench coats are almost never worn in trenches. | + 27 more...

The older you get the more quiet you become. | + 24 more...

House spiders were around before houses existed. | + 26 more...

Overgrown and abandoned cities look beautiful | + 25 more...

Being honest is always interesting. | + 28 more...

Negotatiors are socially accepted manipulators | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 11 February 2024

You don't know you're asleep until you wake up | + 27 more...

we dress up for people we want to get naked with | + 26 more...

Regardless of how you die, the faster the better. | + 24 more...

Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 27 more...

Life's purpose is to rearrange atoms. | + 24 more...

The most boring person you recognize is youself | + 24 more...

Being a human being is extremely uncomfortable | + 27 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 04 February 2024

Very few people have a foot length exactly 1 foot | + 26 more...

Pharmacists are exterminators for microorganisms. | + 25 more...

We're biological mechs for our gut bacteria | + 24 more...

Not enough songs have a xylophone solo in them. | + 24 more...

You need scissors to open a new pack of scissors. | + 28 more...

When you're living, you're also dying in a sense. | + 27 more...

Sunday's never really feel like a full day off | + 26 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 28 January 2024

Every state has at least one major serial killer | + 26 more...

All boys born after 2010 will be alpha males. | + 25 more...

Having a dog makes talking to myself less weird | + 26 more...

Car rides are kinda like life’s loading screens. | + 24 more...

One day we will have ads in outer space | + 24 more...

When things really hurt you ,it makes you quiet. | + 28 more...

An Uber Eats delivery guy is a modern day milkman | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 21 January 2024

Being reckless leads to more wrecks. | + 28 more...

Every day, more people fall asleep than wake up. | + 28 more...

Everything has an advantage and a disadvantage | + 24 more...

Podcasts are AM Radio for young people. | + 28 more...

Handwriting is your hand's accent | + 27 more...

Bing’s number one searched topic has to be Google | + 27 more...

Bandaids are stickers you earn for being an idiot | + 27 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 14 January 2024

Realized we're closer to the year 2070 than 1970. | + 25 more...

Your generation title is the new astrology sign | + 25 more...

People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 27 more...

a mosquito can fly but a fly can’t mosquito | + 28 more...

You learn how to ride a bike by trusting you can. | + 28 more...

It’s ironic that axes are made from wood | + 25 more...

The fly is the least creatively named animal | + 28 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 07 January 2024

Heavy metal poisoning isn't as cool as it sounds. | + 26 more...

3D cinema just kind of seems to have sizzled off | + 24 more...

Every leap year we get one extra free day of rent | + 25 more...

You have a new first word every language learned | + 28 more...

beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 25 more...

Next year the 21st century will be a quarter over | + 26 more...

The aesthetic of melancholia is ruined by a fart | + 28 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 31 December 2023

Two people can not go to each others’ funeral. | + 27 more...

Your bed is a charging station for your body. | + 26 more...

A good post is only as good as its best comment. | + 27 more...

Smoking is the plant based alternative to vaping. | + 24 more...

It's easier to believe in a hell than a heaven | + 26 more...

The way you make a family isn't family friendly. | + 25 more...

The Grinch must be slanging it under that fur | + 28 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 24 December 2023

People constantly leave behind a trail of warmth | + 27 more...

Bad grammar is the bad breath of the digital age. | + 28 more...

Curtains are an invention we can all get behind | + 24 more...

Fish and Birds are not pets, they are prisoners | + 26 more...

Homeless people can’t be put under house arrest | + 24 more...

Whales play Marco Polo on the highest difficulty | + 25 more...

IMDB is LinkedIn for the entertainment industry | + 27 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 17 December 2023

The notion that lying gets you nowhere is a lie | + 26 more...

Most family recipes likely come from a cookbook | + 27 more...

we are what we eat but we dont eat what we are | + 28 more...

Memento Mori is a fancier way of saying YOLO | + 24 more...

Modern cars are kind of like mini spaceships | + 25 more...

Prehistorical people didn’t know their own age | + 26 more...

Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 25 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 10 December 2023

A LEGO set is really a puzzle with instructions | + 26 more...

Humans are the only species they named themselves | + 24 more...

There’s no such thing as an endless supply | + 26 more...

The first human's parents weren't human. | + 25 more...

Ironically, HR is often the least diverse team. | + 28 more...

Pregnant women are the only true bodybuilders | + 28 more...

a car key travels further than the car itself | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 03 December 2023

Santa Claus has list of addresses of all evil people and he refuses to share it with police | + 25 more...

Jingle Bell Rock is more swing than rock. | + 24 more...

Hearse drivers can use an HOV lane with impunity. | + 28 more...

Everything you’ve ever thrown away still exists. | + 24 more...

Morality and knowledge are not directly related | + 28 more...

Clothing brands use you as free advertisement | + 25 more...

Technically all cars in video games are electric | + 27 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 26 November 2023

There are stupid questions. | + 26 more...

You rarely see a depiction of toddler zombies | + 25 more...

When you are in the shower, you are under water. | + 28 more...

Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 24 more...

AirBNBs don't ever serve us breakfast. | + 24 more...

It's ironic that there are statues of Medusa. | + 28 more...

The internet is a zoo where you watch people. | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 19 November 2023

A nest is both a birdhouse and a treehouse | + 24 more...

the way you make a family is NOT family friendly. | + 27 more...

An orgasm is easier to fake than a sneeze | + 28 more...

Eggs are honorary dairy | + 28 more...

No one can win a 'being late' competition | + 24 more...

People just act like analyst is a normal word. | + 28 more...

The third hand on a clock is the second hand | + 28 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 12 November 2023

A brain transplant is actually a body transplant | + 24 more...

Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 28 more...

Everyone taller than you was once your height | + 24 more...

In a lot of ways, it's more expensive to be poor. | + 26 more...

You know you're thirsty when water tastes good | + 24 more...

Nature is a battlefield that looks like a utopia. | + 25 more...

Kneading ground meat is a form of petting animals | + 27 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 05 November 2023

All anime is dubbed anime | + 25 more...

We are lucky to be the only animals with guns | + 24 more...

The first sentient AI will pretend not to be. | + 25 more...

Sound can travel through anything except nothing. | + 28 more...

The Earth's average elevation is below sea level. | + 24 more...

Mike Johnson is Stephen Colbert's Wario. | + 27 more...

We all live on an island if you zoom out enough. | + 28 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 29 October 2023

Rewatching Friends is never gonna feel the same | + 27 more...

A steak knife is more of a saw than a knife. | + 27 more...

Player piano rolls were the first MIDIs. | + 25 more...

You only have around 76 Christmas's | + 24 more...

Every circle has two sides, inside and outside. | + 27 more...

Anything is a stressball if you're strong enough. | + 24 more...

Adblockers are the most effective antiviruses | + 28 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 22 October 2023

Your boring life is some celebrity's dream life | + 25 more...

At some point we just decided ghosts wear sheets | + 24 more...

Black holes are pool skimmers. | + 28 more...

Cul de Sac is a waste of a great word | + 28 more...

Dreams are screensavers for your brain | + 27 more...

Dog farts smell wayyyyyy worse than dog shits | + 28 more...

Maybe UFOs just have a pixelated coating | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 15 October 2023

Most people in the world don’t have 4 seasons | + 25 more...

garbage bags are bought just to throw them away | + 24 more...

Excersizing and excorsizing are very different | + 24 more...

Gasoline is organic, non GMO, and gluten free. | + 24 more...

The constant battle against entropy is exhausting | + 27 more...

The poverty trap is a version of softlocking | + 27 more...

Hardcore music is dance music for punks | + 26 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 08 October 2023

Halloween Decorations in Hospitals is unsettling. | + 28 more...

The first guy to milk a cow just had to be drunk. | + 24 more...

It's a good thing that snot doesn't smell awful | + 28 more...

Villains are remembered longer than heroes | + 26 more...

You will never see your own death certificate | + 25 more...

Shoes are designed for a limited nail length | + 24 more...

Cheese tastes better when it’s thinly sliced. | + 27 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 01 October 2023

Tootsie rolls are the cheeze whiz of chocolate | + 24 more...

Fame is fleeting while notorioty lasts a lifetime | + 24 more...

As you get older, you get more and more dead | + 25 more...

You likely don’t notice the smell of your house. | + 27 more...

You're not stuck in traffic, you ARE traffic. | + 28 more...

Humans play more with cat toys than cats do | + 27 more...

W has thrice as many syllables as scraunched | + 24 more...

Farts are the soul of your food trying to escape | + 27 more...

You never see katana videos where they cut bones | + 28 more...

Everything we measure is only a relative value | + 24 more...

We don't choose what we like, our body does | + 24 more...

It's okay to bet as long as you never gamble. | + 24 more...

The one thing scarier than death is life. | + 26 more...

Pacific Ocean has 3 C’s that all sound different | + 24 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 17 September 2023

Star Trek was a military roleplay for pacifists. | + 27 more...

Eating Cheetos with chopsticks just makes sense. | + 28 more...

Ants are experiencing the real Attack on Titan. | + 28 more...

You can defeat any sneeze by refusing to inhale. | + 28 more...

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from. | + 27 more...

Earthquakes dont kill people, buildings do. | + 25 more...

Flat earthers believe in a global conspiracy. | + 27 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 10 September 2023

There’s no need to raise your hand when knocking | + 27 more...

Working out gets easier when you lose your gut. | + 26 more...

Every wooden house is technically a tree house | + 25 more...

The Cybertruck is the DeLorean of our generation. | + 28 more...

Sharks don’t know that they have a theme song | + 26 more...

all fasting is intermittent fasting | + 26 more...

Nothing we ever do has a 100% chance of survival | + 25 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 03 September 2023

Freezerburn is kinda like frostbite for food | + 28 more...

protein powder is baby formula for adults | + 24 more...

Making someone smile feels better than smiling. | + 24 more...

People handing out flyers are freemium beggars | + 24 more...

Which orange came first, the fruit or the color | + 28 more...

49% of the world is of below average intelligence | + 26 more...

It's impossible to be a teenager half your life | + 26 more...

Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 27 August 2023

The most dangerous type of canoes are volcanoes | + 27 more...

Life is finite. Put your favorite song on repeat | + 28 more...

Everything smells at least a little bit like nose | + 24 more...

When they die the composers become decomposers. | + 25 more...

The tooth fairy teaches us to sell our bodies | + 25 more...