All Episodes

Episode 110: There's Some Overlap Between Drag Bingo and this U.S. Match Emergency

Episode 109: Myrto Uzuni Is Not a Boulder in the Sea Emergency

Episode 108: An Austin FC Player in the World Cup and a New Head Coach Emergency

Episode 107: Mile High Club of Podcast Editing Emergency

Episode 106: There Is Something Napoleonic About It Emergency

Episode 105: You Know It's a Real Emergency When We Don't Have a Cold Open Emergency

Episode 104: What This Fanbase Could Use Right Now is a Matt Doyle Interview Emergency

Episode 103: Watching 104 Games From Inside a Glass Cube in Times Square Emergency

Episode 102: Austin FC Players Are Moonlighting as Catholic School Teachers Emergency

Episode 101: Dictionary Boy and Captain Thesaurus Emergency

Episode 100:  Of All the Things That a Mom Can Walk In On, Nothing More Shameful Than Podcasting Emergency

Episode 99: There Are Butts Everywhere Emergency

Episode 98: Marc Anthony Needs to Know If Fans Are Going to Get Into Nu Stadium in Time to Hear Him Sing the National Anthem Emergency

Episode 97a: Neither of Us Had the Denim Kit On Our List Emergency

Episode 97: The DJ Is On a Heater Emergency

Episode 96: A Metaphorical Corpus Christi Emergency

Episode 95: Trying to Podcast Without My Mom Walking In on Me Emergency

Episode 94: Superman on a Supplemental Emergency

Episode 93: Tifo with the Fringe on Top Emergency

Episode 92: Lent Usually Does Coincide with Mardi Gras Emergency

Episode 91: Consommé and White and Mint Green Jerseys Emergency

Episode 90: A Gradually Getting More and More French Podcast Emergency

Episode 89: We Lost Our Portuguese Translator Emergency

Episode 88: Facundo Torres Gently Touches His Frosted Tips Wistfully Wondering, 'Whither My xA' Emergency

Episode 87: Might Be Seeing Facundo Torres in a White T-Shirt Kit Soon Emergency

Episode 86: An Optimistic Fan Wolf and a Skeptical Journalist Wolf Inside of Me Emergency

Episode 85: Sacrificing Pop-Tarts and Summoning Diego Luna Emergency

Episode 84a: Anaconda (1997) and Anaconda (2025) Emergency

Episode 84: We've All Got to Learn About the 2 DP/4 U22/$2 Million in GAM Roster Build Now Emergency

Episode 83: A Lot of Us Were About to Die on That Field Emergency

Episode 82: Finding Room For Leagues Cup and the Playoffs in the 2026 Schedule Emergency

Episode 81: Bill and Ted and Samuel Beckett Emergency

Episode 80: We're Signing Everybody to Long-Term Pay Raises Because We Love Them So Much Emergency

Episode 79: They're Doing This With Just Two DPs Emergency

Episode 78a: Baseball Fandom, Powered By Spite Emergency Tangent

Episode 78: Sir Minty is the Free Space on the MLS Playoff Bingo Card Emergency

Episode 77: A Friendship Tested By Playoff Baseball Emergency

Episode 76: We've Found Something with Even More Dead Patches Punctuated By Moments of Intense Excitement Than Soccer Emergency

Episode 75: Getting Past Open Cup and Surely Locking in a Playoff Spot While Living the Life of a Showgirl Emergency

Episode 74: Open Cup Final Means We Have to Learn About Nashville SC Emergency

Episode 73: Zoom Turned Me Into Max Headroom Emergency

Episode 72: Finding Ourselves in a Finals But Still Having to Play the Sounders Emergency

Episode 71: Open Cup Semifinal Emergency

Episode 70: 43-Degree Cold Plunge Emergency

Episode 69a: Spinal Tap Emergency Tangent

Episode 69: Nice (For All Those International Teams Borrowing Our Players) Emergency

Episode 68: That Larry David Meme Come to Life Emergency

Episode 67: Moussa Djitte's Used Yeti Cooler Could Be Yours Emergency

Episode 66: I Wrote a Play About GAM Emergency

Episode 65: Boston Mixed With The Darkness Emergency

Episode 64: Apparently Can't Wear Jerseys For All 30 MLS Teams and Do Right By Your Fanbase Emergency

Episode 63: Tom Bogert Lets Us Know It's Pork Roll and Definitely Not Taylor Ham Emergency

Episode 62: Bringing Up MLS Predictions to National Soccer Writers Emergency

Episode 61: Moontower Soccer and Swoontower Soccer Hot Take Emergency

Episode 60: We're Still Waiting For Messi Emergency

Episode 59: Max Bretos Needs a Cowboy Hat But Doesn't Want to Look Too Much Like a Tourist Getting One Emergency

Episode 58: 30-Foot-Tall MLS Soccer Ball at the Domain Emergency

Episode 57: Soccer Celebration Emergency

Episode 56: Maybe There a Monkey's Paw in the Mail Emergency

Episode 55: A Seven-Year-Old Interviews Austin FC Players at an H-E-B Emergency

Episode 54: Broken Sandals and Glorious Grass Emergency

Episode 53: Smothered, Covered, Diced, Capped, and Topped Emergency

Episode 52: Visions of a Towering Yeti Tumbler Emergency

Episode 51: Trapped In a San Antonio Car Show Emergency

Episode 50: There's a Car in My Face Emergency

Episode 49: No End to the Hypotheticals Emergency

Episode 48: Ilie Held a Masterclass and We Just Had to Share It Emergency

Episode 47: Dizzy and Dehydrated in the Middle of May Emergency

Episode 46: Impromptu Obscure Open Cup Trivia Emergency

Episode 45: A Bad Enough Loss to Declare This a Quasi-Emergency

Episode 44: Apprecitement and Excapprehension Emergency

Episode 43: Duran Duran is Cleft in Twain Emergency

Episode 42: Scared Ad Boards Don't Advertise Things Emergency

Episode 41: Very Nearly Supporters' Shield Leaders If Things Just Break Right Emergency

Episode 40: A Soccer Player Made in a Lab Emergency

Episode 39: I Immediately Have to Celebrate in Thierry Henry's Personal Space Emergency

Episode 38: Decidedly Unworried About All These Concerns Not Quite Rising to the Level of Emergency

Episode 37: This 17-Goal Pace is Leading Me to Make a Beeline to Whataburger Emergency

Episode 36: More Than 1,000 Hours of Painting and Sewing and Whatnot Emergency

Episode 35: Joe Lowery Thinks San Diego FC Might Be Pretty Good Emergency

Episode 34: Pronunciation Guide Emergency

Episode 33: Oleksandr Svatok's Anger Is Already in Mid-Season Form Emergency

Episode 32: They Let Us Talk to Nico Estevez Emergency

Episode 31: Annual Ridiculous Kit Leak Emergency (The Emergency Tradition We Love)

Episode 30: Driussi, Dubersarsky, Uzuni with Tiger, and a Mowed Lawn Electric Watermelon Emergency

Episode 29: We Have 2024 Green Smoke but No 2025 Green Smoke As of Yet Emergency

Episode 28: We Officially Have 34 More Matches to Worry About Emergency

Episode 27: Turns Out Fire on a Boat is Not Really an Emergency

Episode 26: Mailbag Stuffed Like a Turkey Emergency

Episode 25: Four Senior Roster Spots Open and One of Us Is Doing Impressions Emergency

Episode 24: New Coach Emergency

Episode 23: Needing New Outro Cue Emergency

Episode 22: The Actual Emergency We've Been Waiting For

Episode 21: Prelude to an Emergency Podcast Emergency

Episode 20: 4% Chance of Making the Playoffs Emergency

Episode 19: Lots to Fret About Emergency

Episode 18: It's Hot Out Emeregency

Episode 17: We Fixed Leagues Cup But That Means We're Still Talking About Leagues Cup Emergency

Episode 16: Two Leagues Cup Wins and Five Dogs In This House Emergency

Episode 15: Pumas and Rayados Here for Leagues Cup Emergency

Episode 14: I Went to Frisco and All I Got Was This Red Card and This Chick-fil-A Sandwich Emergency

Episode 13: Josh Wolff is the Last Limb on the Berhalter Coaching Tree Emergency

Episode 12: Delicious Tears of Cristiano Ronaldo Emergency

Episode 11: Josh Wolff and Davy Arnaud in a Sauna Emergency

Episode 10: Matt Hedges Is the Sex Panther of Late-Game Subs Emergency

Episode 9: The Best Discovery Rights Players Were Already Taken In Deuteronomy Emergency (A Mailbag Emergency)

Episode 8: You Didn't Tell Me There'd Be Math Involved Emergency

Episode 7: Can't Activate Osman Bukari Immediately Emergency

Episode 6: Oh, You Mean An Actual EMERGENCY Emergency

Episode 5: That Cute Secondary Austin FC Mascot Might Give You Leprosy Emergency

Episode 4: The Thomas Rongen Line Special Edition Emergency

Episode 3: Verde Keeps Winning But Maybe Not in Canada Emergency

Episode 2: 20 Million Dollars of DP Winger Coming at Verde Emergency

Episode 1: Road Goal-Scoring Form Going to Houston Emergency

Episode 0: The Trailer