All Episodes

BONUS: “Wet the baby’s head”

"You’ve kind of got the body of Jeremy Clarkson"

BONUS: “You can’t sneeze on This Morning”

"Not fun and not fair"

BONUS: “Just wait and get a facelift”

“That’s a new low”

BONUS : “Divorce is great!”

“What happens if you don’t name your child?”

BONUS: "The pork in Peru?"

“I’m sorry that I’m not in the manosphere”

BONUS: “Go to a townhouse and get my t*ts out!”

“I’d like Sir Trevor McDonald to pole dance at my funeral”

BONUS: “Crossing swords with a thousand men”

“I had a cuban heel on”

BONUS: “I did find you sexy this week!”

“My mum lost me and my brother in Safeways”

BONUS: “Hannah, can you try and be light on your feet?”

"Don’t go cheap on your sex toys"

BONUS: “Do we throw away my life size cardboard cutouts?”

"Ronaldo Cooper-Dommett"

BONUS: "We’re not getting rid of the smoke machine"

“You don’t have a fat face”

BONUS: “Quit comedy and be the man that I want you to be”

“Worst birthday ever?”

BONUS: “Turkeyteeth.com”

"Hannah Cooper, these are my varicose veins"

BONUS: “Joel Dommet-levels of Horoscope”

"I’m getting hypnotized by Paul McKenna tomorrow"

BONUS: "Please make the title of this episode Nonagon"

“Dada drunk!”

BONUS: “Don’t look at the butt-crease shorts”

"I don’t want to slag it off, but I’ve absolutely slagged it off"

BONUS: "Kate Beckinsale would not even want you"

“Breastfeeding in the jungle”

BONUS: “Are you not allowed to put Dettol on your crystals?”

“It’s so unsexy how much you lose stuff”

BONUS: "You’ve never looked at your Dad’s feet?"

"The Pregnant Hannah Cooper"

BONUS: "It totally cancels out your Chinese honey theory"

"Everyone thinks you're the Scrooge"

BONUS: "The big re-set of my socks"

"I can balance most things on my chin"

BONUS: "When I smell newspaper I smell sh*t"

"I remember the first porn website"

BONUS: "Welcome to Hannah and Joel’s book club"

"Sheffield is looking dicey"

BONUS: "It was a lot of leg"

"I’m supposed to be the special one in my family"

BONUS: “Maybe we’re in a throuple”

"Celebrities don’t eat croissants"

BONUS: "Charlie Sheen looks better than you"

“Be more Mickey”

BONUS: "I don’t know if it’s weird for men to sit down to pee"

"You’re a gondola and I’m the stick"

BONUS: "Does it make you nervous that I could leave you?"

"Welcome to Joel Dommett's therapy session."

BONUS: "An absolute waste of £80."

"Michelin star breadsticks."

BONUS: “The Gong Show”

“Hair, but A.I.”

BONUS: “It’s 2025, why are we still brushing our teeth?”

"My friend is scared of mayonnaise."

BONUS: “Just crying in a field.”

“The Over-40s Episode”

BONUS: “Lengthy dental routine”

“Hannah Cooper loves the Concept.”

BONUS: "Gagging on the hairdryer."

"It's like a weird superpower!"

BONUS: "We're all awkward."

LIVE AT LATITUDE!

BONUS: "It's tomorrow!"

"We're doing our first live podcast!!"

BONUS: "Craig David acknowledged me..."

"Since you turned 40, I've been bossing it."

BONUS: "MOONSETS?!"

"Oh no... Oh no..."

BONUS: "I don't want to go to the zoo on a heatwave."

"Beauty spots are in!"

BONUS: "Who would you rather be?"

"I had an absolute Hannah Cooper last night."

BONUS: "Four chicken nuggets."

"Forty years old!"

BONUS: "I'm not a fan. I never was."

"You went into Dad-mode."

BONUS: "The autocue went off..."

"The bank of sex."

BONUS: "I was in 2 music videos!"

"Fruit of The Zoom!"

BONUS: "Why are you Googling chat-up lines??"

"Chic"

BONUS: "It felt like it could have turned sexual..."

"What happened at the London Marathon..."

BONUS: "The bread of life..."

"Am I the Jake Gyllenhaal??"

BONUS: "There were elites..."

"Something shifted in me..."

BONUS: "In your face."

"A live, fun, furry thing..."

BONUS: "Can I call yours jugs?"

'I just can't drink Prosecco. It has to be champagne'

BONUS: "Dommett-stic Dommett"

"I started looking at baby horoscopes"

BONUS: "I would like a bra thrown on stage"

"Sometimes the title is better than the episode"

BONUS: "I think I've been scammed"

'You're one calendar colour away from a divorce'

BONUS: "I ate three dinners at The Brits."

"I almost choked and died."

BONUS: "F yourself."

"It got BAD."

"Bike, Hard, Jordan, Photo..."

"How much is the Mona Lisa worth?"

BONUS: "I would like another nightie..."

"We might as well have another... We've got all the stuff!"

BONUS: "Semi-Scammed."

"Check your bits."

BONUS: "In my head, I'm Liza Minnelli."

"The problem with marriage, is..."

BONUS: "When your heart rate is high, nothing good happens."

"A massage in a playroom..."

BONUS: "Shall I get a disco light for the garage?"

"The low flying eagle..."

BONUS: "I'm blushing!"

"Silk nightdress & a bouncy blow dry..."

BONUS: "We're going to unfollow. Now."

"I slept with a guy who had a Christmas cake next to his bed."

BONUS: "I'm always crying on planes!"

"You wouldn't last one day as a woman."

BONUS: "Are we bad parents?"

Jet Lag, Illness & Shirley Ballas

BONUS: "I love it for you, but I don't think that's your reality."

Shout Out, Locked Out & Washed Out

BONUS: "Both at the same time?!"

DOWN UNDER: "Please come with us, Ma'am."

BONUS: "Roadmap t*ts."

WITH SPECIAL GUEST - GEORGIA JONES: "You've been gone a long time... I've got a new friend."

BONUS: "I've been dying to tell you..."

GUEST HOST: "Who is it?"

BONUS: "Laboratory..."

Sick, Halloween & I'm A Celeb: Unpacked

BONUS: "Let's dig deep, you p*****, LET'S GO!"

TEAM NIGHT OUT: "Oh it's YOU?!"

BONUS: "I don't think I can do it better than the French."

MYSTERY TASTES BOX: "I'd rather eat the bugs."

BONUS: "We should do Iceland."

BIKE RAGE: "I cried last night."

BONUS: "Parental advisory..."

WHAT'S IN THE BAG: "You've got a spa in your backpack..."

BONUS: "I don't want you to get done for false advertising..."

Science, Maths & Foreplay

BONUS: "I was adamant that I wasn't going to be that person."

LAUNCH PARTY: "You want to watch me s*** myself at my first major event."

BONUS: "Fashion is confidence."

FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY: "I've had no better offers."

BONUS: "Showing off is the fool's idea of glory."

BACK IN THE GAME: "Say hello, to the face of..."

BONUS: "I'm obviously not going to get you a car."

LIVE FASHION SEGMENT: "What do you think about this outfit?"

BONUS: "DEBUNK..."

KICKING DOWN DOORS: "It was kind of attractive."

BONUS: "Do you believe in soulmates?"

LIGHT AIRCRAFT SPOTTING: "Your door's not shut!"

BONUS: "The pillow knows your personality."

CELEBRITY GLADIATORS: "Don't even get me started on this week."

BONUS: "I'm working on it."

IT'S CALLED A PAVEMENT FOR A REASON!

BONUS: "What's wrong with a bit of honesty?"

JEWELLERY WORKSHOP: "This could be my therapy."

BONUS: "You're so pretty!"

MEETING PARIS HILTON: "All I can feel is awkwardness."

BONUS: "I tried to do 10 in a day..."

Wimbledon, A New House & A Dirty Wedding Dress

BONUS: "Vote Joel Dommett!"

Kings of Leon BST: "Hannah Cooper-Vomit"

BONUS: "I'm not the only one."

ASCOT & FORMULA 1: Pro Bono Publico

BONUS: "I didn't need to get my nipples out."

CHARITY CRICKET: "You looked like a little elf."

BONUS: "Would you rather...?"

Joel's Birthday, Singing Lessons & J-Pop

BONUS: "SPEAK TO AN ADVISOR!"

EMOTIONAL BREATHING WORKSHOP: "My tear went into my ear."

BONUS: "We've had a dabble..."

LORRAINE: "You need to emphasise passion, without swearing."

BONUS: "I know it's a mad thing to think about..."

MONSTER TRUCK DRIVING: "So wide, not very long, but HUGE."

BONUS: "Super Mario is not someone I want to sleep with."

SPEED AWARENESS: "The roads are complicated."

BONUS: "I downed the Red Bull and the viagra..."

Black Toenail, Loose Women & Another Fine...

BONUS: "Next question."

The Marathon... Again, A Bad Gig & Being Cool At School

BONUS: "Mercury was in retrograde."

PIRANHA MARATHON: "How bad do I look!?"

BONUS: "If you go down to the woods tonight..."

Wedding With Wilde, More Hypnotherapy & Marathon Prep

BONUS: "I think I'm a Fruit & Nut."

Nipples, Jazz & The Universe

BONUS: "The suggested rate was $15."

EROTIC NOVELS & HYPNOSIS: "A very sexual couple."

BONUS: "Leather..."

Gravy, Cocktails & Sexy Books

BONUS: "It's really burning when I go for a wee..."

SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS: "You've unleashed the beast."

BONUS: "I'll tell you another time I got naked!"

Pensions, Coops Oops & A Half Marathon

BONUS: "Would you like a coffee, if I made it for you?"

Weening, The Brits & A Double Act With Jeffrey Archer

BONUS: "I don't want to parallel park a monster truck."

RNLI: "Yellow is my colour..."

BONUS: "You're not Mel B."

Facebook Marketplace, Holiday With Wilde & Crying On Demand

BONUS: "You're more beautiful than ever... To me."

Sulking, Love Letters & Sexy Posters

BONUS: "The process literally stinks."

GET A LEGEND'S NUMBER: "That's VERY chat-up..."

BONUS: "Everything about that night was perfect."

A ROYAL INVITATION: "This is how I want to live my life."

BONUS: "I wrote a blog."

BIRTHDAY SURPIRSE: "This is so un-you."

BONUS: "Cock-a-doodle-doo..."

BIRTHDAY CAKE: "What do we love in this world, more than anything...?"

BONUS: "I'm in a pump phase..."

Cacti, Financial Advisors & An Activity Watch

BONUS: "Cute, or disgusting?"

GOING BIG: "New Year, New Us..."

BONUS: "Unkempt???"

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS: "Offering people breast milk."

BONUS: "Finally, some alone time!"

DRIVE A DIGGER: "I want to do an evening course."

BONUS: "The dithering Daddy."

CHRISTMAS LIGHT SWITCH-ON: "Do a speech..."

BONUS: "I thought I'd caught you out for cheating."

MICHELIN STAR RESTAURANT: "It's like Skips!"

BONUS: "No one hates me. No one loves me."

PSYCHIC READING: "You really screwed up..."

BONUS: "Deirdre Rachid... ?"

DIY BEAUTY TREATMENT: "I would actually date you now..."

BONUS: "I'm loving the song I wrote today..."

MAGNET FISHING: "Look how massive it is!"

BONUS: "A person, a lover, a boyfriend..."

DAY DATE: "Enough to get the juices flowing..."

BONUS: "You make me very sleepy when you talk."

PUMPKIN PATCH: "What terrible parents..."

BONUS: "A Bedtime Story..."

BRING YOUR BABY TO WORK: "He's very advanced..."

BONUS: "We have to give it back!"

HAVING A BABY: "Where's Joel??"

Back on Monday!

BONUS: "Love at first sight..."

REFLEXOLOGY: "I don't want to give birth on the podcast..."

BONUS: "G-strings..."

ACUPUNCTURE: "Qi."

BONUS: "Oooh boobies!"

BABY BUMP FOR A DAY: "I wasn't supporting you and you weren't supporting me."

BONUS: "The M25 might join the M4..."

SURFING: "Queueing in the sea..."

BONUS: "At least 2cm..."

XXL CROISSANT: "Better than sex..."

BONUS: "Bits in a changing room..."

BODY SCAN SCULPTURE: "Every nook and cranny..."

BONUS: "Open to getting ducked..."

FIRST AID: "Words are hard."

BONUS: "I pushed you out of the way and went straight to the sink..."

WE'RE BACK: "It's healthy to have time apart..."

Now That's What I Call Never... #2

Now That's What I Call Never... #1

BONUS: "Catching the baby..."

VLOGGING: "When there's no ships, there's no vlogs..."

BONUS: "Eat carrots..."

POLO: "I had to reverse into the toilet..."

BONUS: "This was the property of Joel Dommett..."

HYPNO-BIRTHING CLASSES: "You properly fell asleep!"

BONUS: "Five puppies... Or cash?"

INDOOR SKYDIVING: "You looked like a housefly."

BONUS: "Troll Dommett."

MYSTERY PACKAGE HAUL: "I am SHOCKED..."

BONUS: "A flannel a day, keeps the doctor away."

CO-HOSTING: "Willy Wonka... That's how I see you."

BONUS: "Yoo-Kay!"

THE CIRCUS: "It was too sexy..."

BONUS: "You did a hit and run."

HAVING A BABY: "Get me a KitKat... I need a break!"

BONUS: "Shall we get a rotary phone??"

COFFEE FESTIVAL: "We lied to you..."

BONUS: "I wouldn't lick your sweaty body."

KAREN'S DINER: "I slowly undressed myself as I went round the restaurant..."

BONUS: "I can't wait to floss when I get home..."

LEARN A LANGUAGE: "Welkom!"

BONUS: "You should probably delete those dating apps..."

CAR BOOT: "I'll knuckle a button..."

BONUS: "They see you and they want me."

DINING IN THE DARK: "I'd like to see the CCTV..."

BONUS: "I'd rather you scrape it with your teeth, than lick it with your tongue..."

BINGO: "The sheet chose ME!"

BONUS: "What a weird taste in men you've got..."

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY: "Are you not having FUN!?"

BONUS: "I cheated on you..."

COMIC CON: "Thor recognised you!"

BONUS: "What is the worst thing I could have done in an Uber?"

CAT CAFE: "It's the Circle of Life"

BONUS: “You can't give a vibrator to a charity shop!"

CROSSFIT: "It’s a legal strip club - it’s great!”

BONUS: "I'll write it in my autobiography one day"

KARAOKE: "I'm a lyrical genius"

BONUS: "Hi! Joel Dommett, MTV News!!"

VALENTINES ROMANCE: "The milk was off..."

BONUS: "Walk, trot, canter, gallop..."

MONOPOLY LIFESIZED / FROZEN: "We're not feeling too well..."

BONUS: "I've got a new phrase..."

BUSHCRAFT SURVIVAL SKILLS: "North, to me, is straight..."

BONUS: "Really funny guy, but f***ing hell, those shoes..."

STAND UP COMEDY: "Last for three minutes..."

BONUS: "I can't do comedy!!?"

OPEN WATER SWIMMING: "It's like you've had ten cups of coffee!"

BONUS: "Silk-on-silk doesn't work!"

GOLF: "It's like bowling, but with tiny balls..."

BONUS: "It's made weeing fun again!"

WHOLESALE SHOPPING: "It's a great first date..."

BONUS: "The beginning of this year could be difficult for you, physically and financially..."

MOVIE EXCHANGE: "THAT is serendipity!"

BONUS: "Joel Dommett Mode!"

ICE SKATING: "We were silently losing our minds!"

BONUS: "I don't know whether this is an observation, or just me..."

CHRISTMAS DECORATING: "Same breakfast, same wife."

BONUS: "HANNAH STOLE!!!"

RUGBY: "Posh, wide and drunk."

BONUS: "I was a security guard..."

"DOING" L.A: "70mph up canyon roads..."

BONUS: "I didn't like you on the plane."

METAL GIG: "It was everything I wanted, from a rockstar dressing room..."

BONUS: "There's something I've done, that I know is going to annoy you so much..."

HAMPTON COURT PALACE: "Can you just chill out? This is mortifying..."

BONUS: "I can't change a tyre..."

SUSHI MAKING: "A lot of tension in the kitchen..."

BONUS: "I'm sorry that I look so much like Superman."

REFORMER PILATES: "You talked... The whole time."

BONUS: "Sinterklaas!"

IQ TEST: "I'm disappointed in myself..."

BONUS: "Your toes are like fingers..."

VR EXPERIENCE: "It unlocked something in my head."

BONUS: "It says on the packet: TAKE TWO!"

FRIGHT NIGHT: "I went on the teacups by myself..."

BONUS: "Are we allowed to go to a sex party and just watch?"

BALLROOM DANCING: “I’d let a 90 year old man touch my armpit."

BONUS: "Shaved men, in general, look like chickens..."

TUFTING: "D***head mode!"

BONUS: "Why are you asking me for £2,500?"

A DARE A DAY: "I love counting at night..."

BONUS: "You KNOW what's made of leather!"

MEDITATE FOR A WEEK: "Joel Dommett's Noise School!"

BONUS: "Mr & Mrs Moncaster"

BOXING: "Just start dancing!"

BONUS: "I am a viral sensation..."

TRAMPOLINE PARK: "We were hogging it!"

BONUS: "Eat more rat..."

PADDLE-BOARDING: "I can't be bothered. I'm done with this."

BONUS: "I was doing it out of the goodness of my heart..."

PIZZA MAKING: "The Doughmmets..."

BONUS: "You've got to wave at other Jeeps."

CLAY PIGEON SHOOTING: "Jail time is not attractive."

BONUS: "He seems like a motorway guy..."

SOUND BATH: "Loads of gongs and glockenspiels."

BONUS: “I don’t want to be part of your messiness.”

PLANE SPOTTING: "An unexpected blast..."

BONUS: "Dandrufft..."

HENLEY ROYAL REGATTA: "Loose with a lot of O's!"

BONUS: "Do you think that I'm old?"

VEGAN FOR A WEEK: "Eau de Beef!"

BONUS: "Low level crime really bothers me..."

NO PHONES: "Oh my God!! Nature!"

BONUS: "Have you guys got a pet?"

SPEED BOAT: "I got whiplash..."

BONUS: "Bank job!?"

THE ROYAL BALLET: "I decided to wear a leotard..."

POTTERY CLASS: "She worked through the coffee break!"

ASMR: "When I talk to you, does it just come out of your nose?"

GIVE BLOOD: "Training Purposes..."

LIFE DRAWING: "I’m a beret of laughs!"

LAST MINUTE FLIGHT: "Do you think I look French?"

DRIVE A SUPERCAR: "Les Misérables through a subwoofer!"

SENSORY DEPRIVATION TANK: "Naked in a room, in a pond."

POLE DANCING: "They should rename it Joel-Dancing!"

COLONIC IRRIGATION: "Have I got a normal one?"

PUPPY YOGA: "I couldn't make eye contact with the dog afterwards..."

WEIGHTLIFTING: "I can't be bothered to be the best..."

STRIP CLUB: "What a way to find out I'm gay..."

"Don't forget to press record..."

Never Have I Ever - Coming April 4th