All Episodes
Sanctioned by Stefanie — 122 episodes
“Yeah…I talk to myself, like constantly…”
“I didn’t have a chance at being normal…”
AdhDiva Diaries: “Big Tiddy Sundress”
“¿que me ves pendeja? Or…What are you looking at dumb b!tch?”
"Never met a mic...I didn't like"
“We were gettin into the whole Mafia Theory thing last night”
“I’m a big believer in authenticity, and I’m not trying to impress people to much…”
“I’m not saying I’m a bad driver, but…”
“It’s like basic bitch, but it’s just good…”
“It’s a drag….”
“People think I’m either 40 or 18…”
"Always the new kid"
"I was the white trash kid"
"Everybody saw it but us…”
"Wash, rinse and repeat…”
"It's just me…”
"I had sex with the internet…”
"Delulu is solulu…”
"The Downriver Rats"
"I have always been a comedy nerd…"
"I outsourced all my boyfriends…”
"And then it was off and running…”
"I think it went well, because there was a piano involved..."
“Survival response is a superpower”
"I'm a special breed"
“Welcome to my midlife crisis…”
"You got 99 podcasts...and now I am one"
"Pivot"
"It was one of kind"
"Out live your enemies…”
"Did you die?….”
“Nothin’ happens in a day…”
“Whatever….”
"No one said it was a bad idea"
"I’m a good alley-ooper…”
“Do you think they just came out of their mom’s 🐈, with a microphone?”
“That could never happen…”
“So I’m gonna have to pay for those cd’s from Columbia House now?”
“It survives on a prayer…and some duct tape…”
"I got alot of Butthole Fame"
"Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler"
"Self Love"
"I grew up Hood and Classy!"
"Stand Up........I'm Addicted!!"
"My life is a bit"
"Everything is cured through laughter"
Best of the UnSanctioned 7: Part 4
"Marathons, and childbirth…..You know you're going to sh!t your pants"
"So Shaq says to me…What Up Big Fella?”
"Omg you do standup comedy, I’ve always wanted to do that….”
“Bitch…I’m in bed in my home…where you at?”
Best of the UnSanctioned 7: Part 3
“You’re so attractive, but you’re so unwell…”
" I got bit by the bug….ohhh and that bug bit me hard!”
“It’s kindof like driving thru a John Mellencamp video…”
“It’s time to take that next step…”
"I didn't choose comedy.....comedy chose me…”
"Hey, you know what…pineapple on pizza 🍕”
“Oh…we got ourselves a tough guy here…”
“I look more like a dude now…”
“Like, we actually made the gayest show ever….”
"It’s soo bad it’s good…”
“Yo… if everyone died in that f@ckin room…there wouldn’t be any evidence I was there!”
“I said hey, until the wheels fall off lady…”
When you put a twist on comedy, the audience…they love that sh!t…
“I like how they worked Guitar Hero into this ish…”
“ How yo kids come first, and you’re the one comin first thing in the mornin?”
“Being a comic is also not a choice…”
"Big Dick…Bigger Bank Account”
“A knife in a gun in a shampoo bottle…”
“If you go to my hometown and talk about that movie…they’ll be like…GET OUT!”
"I make people laugh, that’s my high…”
“A year and a fourth”
“And then it was six months of hell…”
“It’s like a question of character…”
“ Never stay down!”
“Ahhh I don’t have much to say…”
“I enjoyed the dick around time a lot..”
“I had to come out to my mother as straight, not kidding!”
Best of the UnSanctioned 7: Part 2
“It’s been a week man, it’s been a week”
“It’s a fire sale for me, come get me while I’m hot…”
“If you put the word “female” in your tinder bio…that’s a red flag”
Best of the UnSanctioned 7: Part 1
"Alot of the things that I do, is what I consider to be god's plan."
“I’ve done this once or twice…”
“I’m enjoying it so much because I don’t care…”
“I wear my nerd badge with honor!”
“I’m not a pervert, I’m not a racist…I’m just Puerto Rican”
“No one’s said that to me before…except for the voice in my head.”
Sanctioned Sessions: “A word in edgewise with JD”
“Tell em Papa sent ya…”
“I’m not even close to done yet…”
“That’s actually my core demographic…people in cans…”
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……SWAG!
Let’s just be real, some big dick energy over here…
I laughed, I cried, I almost shit my pants...
It’s more like pussy parkour...
I shaved my crotchie for this???!!!
Are you sure you want this?
You can’t sign yourself out of the internet...
Everything is connected, like lego...
Talk about the penises...
I just went up to girls in college and I’d tell them they have a really nice rack...
If we need to sacrifice someone, it’s gonna be him!
I’ve only had one woman laugh at my penis...
The pimp UN...
Ring catches everything...
Who the f*ck is this b*tch?
I want to make it hard on them...
The Pope has restraining orders...Paul Pipitone has restraining orders
And she even licked my balls...
Sanctioned Sessions: Damn this shit got sad...
Sanctioned Sessions: This went somewhere I don’t know where it is, but somewhere...
Sanctioned Sessions: Awe Grow Up!
She does exercise and exercise is stupid...
Sanctioned Sessions: Drownin in pussy
Bitch... where your f*ckin jokes at?!
You know what?....I’m gonna pull out something cool
I don’t wanna play human battleship
Aren’t nightmares still dreams?!!
Starbucks low key good...