All Episodes
(Sort of) The Story — 218 episodes
184. CRAPitalism (a bottomless crone hack)
183. Buckets of Ducats (Buffer the Nut Fairy) from the BONUS EPISODE vault!
182. Werewolves and Wendigos (a monster episode!) with Jessica Freeburg and Natalie Fowler
181. Bethink About It (short king)
180. Worm It In (just so)
179. Certainly Bisexual (I fish for fun!)
178. Lake Sasquatch (I’m completely hare-less)
177. A Final Earthly Bone (and a tale of flying soft serves)
176. Moldy Cheese Nick (red flags everywhere) with the You Two Scare Me Podcast!
175. Not Everybody Needs to Wang Chung Tonight (Grandpa has anxiety)
174. Revenge of the Stories (silly together forever)
173. Cheat On Your Cannibal Husband (the "Take My Wife" episode)
172. I’m a Human, I’m Just Sad (relatable queen)
171. One Jelly Meat Suit (a perma-stank situation) with Liz Gotauco!
170. I Don't Care That He's Invisible (put that man in a tower!)
169. Historical Sexting (Don't Wash)
168. New England Bean Time (Sai! Sai! Sai!)
167. Knife Brothers (welcome to Chekhov's Hole)
166. Old and wrinkly (a poisonous no-no)
165. Examine Your Handwriting (and learn to play the oboe)
30. (Sort of) Off Topic: Nicholas Cage and his Fabulous Wealth
29. (Sort of) Off Topic: The Assassination of Kim Jong Nam
164. How Much Do Girls Eat? (I refuse to look up golfing)
28. (Sort of) Off Topic: Mary Shelley and the Creation of Frankenstein
27. (Sort of) Off Topic: Scientology, the Trouble with Ghouls
163. Green and Oddly-Shaped (the Hexmaster General)
26. (Sort of) Off Topic: The British Premonitions Bureau
25. (Sort of) Off Topic: Medieval Times
162. This One’s for the Juans (witches is tricky)
161. Kickin' Boys (keeps the rheumatism away)
160. Disco Hedgehog (let’s wrestle Grandma)
159. Latin American Stories RE-RELEASE (Abolish ICE)
158. We’re the Hero Twins (why is there only one bed in this cave?)
157. That's That Me Manchego (this princess has ADHD)
156. The Labyrinth was a Maze (Justice for Ariadne)
155. Justice for Medea (everybody wants a hot goth girlfriend until…)
Gotcha!
154. High Value Beans (here comes my story finger!)
153. Finn McCool and the Gang (and the OG Booktok girlie)
152. I Be Akimbo (Scrimbus Malfoy)
151. Your Tallest, Mustachioed Girlfriend (the most popular girl at the party)
150. Flummoxed! (do you speak German?)
149. A Garden of Heads (and an infestation of witches)
148. Bisect, Divide, Sunder ('twas I that set the house ablaze!)
It: Chapter Goo (Holiday Re-Release!)
147. So Big, So Ugly (please tell Gerky to come outside)
146. Sufficiently Icked (wee-sa babies)
145. Hefty Little Apple Baby (Popeye’s spicy 16-year-old sandwich)
144. Chekhov’s Man-Bear (this is my girl-tooth)
143. Paw Proof (don't be afraid of the park)
24. (Sort of) Off Topic: The True Story of Pocahontas
23. (Sort of) Off Topic: The Pirate Blackbeard
142. Ichabod Crane is a Snack Guy (walk him like a dog)
22. (Sort of) Off Topic: The 1904 Olympic Marathon
21. (Sort of) Off Topic: Elizabeth Báthory
141. Odious and Toadious (it’s ‘Eatin’ Girls’ o’clock somewhere)
20. (Sort of) Off Topic: Things We've Sent to Space
19. (Sort of) Off Topic: △ The Bavarian Illuminati
140. First of all, Dalé (seals are scary)
18. (Sort of) Off Topic: Magic School Bus Conspiracy Theories
(Sort of) A Book Club: Mountains Made of Glass with Scarlett St. Clair and Lauren Boyle
139. Rowing in My Skin Canoe (there’s like, a LOT of witches here)
138. Alliganey Janey– Here to Eat Your Bullets! (grand theft nautico)
137. Papa Yaga (I don’t want this little leprechaun anymore)
136. Where’s My Best Boy? (meet me in the Heifer Hut)
135. Bewildered and Honking (and nonstop harkin’ eggs)
134. Mr. Noodle Wants Ten Gold Pieces (and an Inuit ‘Kill Bill’ story)
133. Worm/Kennedy 2024 (don't you know who my emperor is?)
132. Everyday I’m Draiglin (cats can't play guitar)
131. I’d Risk It All for a Pear (and I might stop for a popcorn shrimp...)
130. Macbeth (would be so much better with robots)
129. King Lear (and the toad-spotted traitor)
128. Thumbelina is Canceled (blow up your castle)
127. Wring Your Hams (notice me, Mother)
126. Don't Swaddle Me (you wretched little shrimp)
Faster, Stronger, Paler, Harder (I'm the Skin)
125. H.P. Lovecraft? (I barely H.P. LIKEcraft)
124. UglyMeanLady Says What? (That seat's for Papa John)
123. Mumped and Moaned (here's my wallet, sandwich dinner)
122. Ol’ Sister Shovel-Tooth (honk-honk-honking around the floor)
121. Sorry You’re So Ugly (would you like to eat my flesh?)
120. A little superstition is healthy (I’m being haunted by myself)
119. The Edgar Allan Poe-pisode (everything is great in the Boink Bunker!)
118. Working Bear or Barely Working? (Gays on the Trod)
117. Hot Boys Don’t Go to Bed Before Midnight (or miss their graveside dinner date)
116. Kiss the Corpse (in their oppositional-defiant eyeballs)
115. Pizza for Books (Happy Chenoo Year!)
114. When the Crawdad Whistles (don't feed the Riddle Monster)
113. 7 Signs You’re In an Ogress’s Den (The Running of the Bowls)
112. Swan Lake Extended Universe (these apples cure depression)
111. Urban Legends! (are inextricably licked)
110. Sending My Worst (do your chores, you little b***)
109. Big Ol’ Foundling Babies (more like Pepto Dismal)
108. A Foot with Eyes (Vin Diesel NOTICE ME)
107. The Shaving of the Ghouls (come get yer yog bogged)
106. It: Chapter Goo (It’s a Friday-night body hunt!)
105. Same Rick Forever (and the Jar Jar Binks of cryptids)
17. (Sort of) Off Topic: The Green Children of Woolpit
104. A Tsunami of Corpses (I like big boats and I cannot lie)
16. (Sort of) Off Topic: Dear David
103. Doctors HATE this Magic Mirror (I need the love of a gourd woman)
15. (Sort of) Off Topic: Hatshepsut, The Erased Pharaoh Queen
102. The Easter Weasel (and the Power of Punctuality)
14. (Sort of) Off Topic: No Man's Land
101. Goose-Foot Bertha (HEA)
13. (Sort of) Off Topic: The Beeswax Wreck
100. Girl Boss-iás Dinner (Leggings, Waffles, Morgan, Pancakes)
12. (Sort of) Off Topic: Fleetwood Mac
99. Like Mother-in-Law, Like Daughter-in-Law (#TeamOgre)
98. So Many Mommy Monsters (I don’t love you anymore, Boat!)
97. Water, Earth, Air, Fire, Goblin, Corpse, Troll (We Have to Kill This Fish Witch)
96. No Uggos Need Apply (at WifeMart)
95. Too Many Toenails! (The Patron Saint of La-Z Boys)
94. Welcome to the Mouse House (ME GOLD!)
93. No Longer Sticky (Lick your Kicks at Route 66)
92. One Big Johnson (and how to know if you're a princess)
91. Don't Pick Me, B**** (dancing with the Wood Lady)
90. A Circle of Jerks (we love you, Boo Mama)
89. Society is a Butterface (go do three crusades about it)
88. Milkshake Ducking (and the dangers of pillow talk)
87. Feminist Icon, Sir Gawain (You’re not afraid of the Hairy Things?)
86. 1,000 Draculas Richer (at Outback Snake House)
85. Adventures of Buffalo Bill (skeletons aren't scary)
84. P.P. the Pee Pee Peeker (The Bob White Tribute Show)
83. Do You Even Lift, Coachman? (I'm with The Calamity)
82. The Regular Devil (Did you fall out of the stupid sack?)
81. 10 Things I Hate About That Shrew (as De Boys like it)
80. The Bearbadook (we should stop and play Parcheesi)
79. Back on our Blood Room BS (make Americans fear beautiful women again)
78. A Kiss on the Shoulder (and a thousand more husband-souls)
77. That's SO Raven (chicken nuggets for the poor)
76. Corpse Eater (Beast your heart out)
75. Jezebel let the dogs out (Clog the Yard)
74. Eye Eye Eye (Daddy Snati and Snati Lite)
73. It's Raining Men (Happy St. Pedant's Day)
72. Babayag-O-Rama (The Fright Night Motif)
71. A Fetch Quest for Strong Boys (squat, wide guys)
70. America’s Problem (We Buy Used Hams)
69. Nice (Nice.)
68. Stay Stupid, Pony Child (Honkitat for Horse-manity)
67. A Court of Absent Fae-thers (sun's out, buns out!)
66. Dr. Boobs MD, DDS, WWE, RN (this one's for the beans)
65. Dionysus the Inventor (Satan, get out of the bathtub)
64. Gobble Those Guts (is this some kind of Mario?)
63. Rudyard Kipling? Not cute. (The Mother Goat Episode)
62. Re-Elect King Dog (here's to you, MerBecca)
11. (Sort of) Off Topic: I Wanna Marry Harry
61. Dishrag Bikinis (what could be worse than the Boil Man?)
60. Supernatural Itch Cream (DNA test the Sun)
59. A Tiny Butler (to Hammer and Hold)
58. Mighty Morfa Power-Ranger (and the Front Butts)
10. (Sort of) Off Topic: Bridget Cleary, the Fairy Wife
57. Don't be an idiot (and welcome to the SNACKS)
9. (Sort of) Off Topic: The Battle of Blair Mountain
56. Rude Old Raisin (you know how to whistle, don't you?)
8. (Sort of) Off Topic: The Georgia Guidestones
55. Geothermal Currency (don't Björk your shorts)
7. (Sort of) Off Topic: The Immortal Count of St. Germain
54. Haunted Tea Parties (Let's get freaky!)
6. (Sort of) Off Topic: The War on Cats
53. Remembering things is hard (especially for a vampire witch skeleton ghost)
5. (Sort of) Off Topic: Who Put Bella In the Wych Elm?
52. A Wit Game is Afoot! (Melk or Be Melked)
4. (Sort of) Off Topic: Operation Mongoose
51. Happy birthday to me, the Devil (Terrytop, Terrytop, Terrytop)
3. (Sort of) Off Topic: The Great Molasses Flood
50. Arthurian Legends (Keep it in your britches!)
2. (Sort of) Off Topic: Women in Ancient Greece
49. Kiss My English Rose (Just like the pandas do!)
48. Hot and Prosperous (Have you seen my beautiful berries?)
47. Wolves with Friends (Mommy Needy Drinky)
46. Got Paranormal Body Issues? (Peon the Brothers Grimm!)
45. (C)Ovid's Metamorphoses (tales of the A-Team)
44. Hands on your sack (but don't touch the snake)
43. Feed the Wolves (and don't mess with the Frog Lord)
42. The Devil Went Down to Thailand (Bela Lugosi's Glorious Adventure)
41. Rapunzel, Rapunzel (why can't you be more like Parsley, your Italian twin?)
40. Sleeping Beauty (what the Shrek happened?)
39. Grandmother Dump Truck (take the heart and run)
38. The Stupidest Hemsworth (and Princess Bog Beast)
37. No cost for the poor (take a chunce on me)
36. Don't get married (just take off your frog skin!)
1. (Sort of) Off Topic: The History of Abortion in America
35. World's Densest Baby (the adventures of Katherine Fried Crackernuts)
34. Boar Meets World (My Life as a Teenaged Casket Girl)
33. Redhead the Whale (the 'Neck Stump' episode)
32. Defund the Palace Guard (you can't haggle with dogs)
31. Hot as Hell (women be inventing science fiction)
30. Haunted Dolls and Spooky Witches (The Franklin Taylor Fan Club)
29. M'Titsman (Make. Birds. Immortal.)
28. Dirty Clothes (how to show your rooster you care)
27. The Psychotic Cricket Man (and Hey There, Delilah, What's It Like In Jawbone Heights)
26. A Very Grimm Space Jam (where witches be witchin')
25. A Cereal Mascot Tale (and the ONLY TIME Greek gods were helpful)
24. Queen Bean Face (the dragon maybe explodes?)
23. Dating a Dexter (and never trust boys who have families)
22. Ancient Irish Power Couples (we dream of Wine Toad)
21. Sweaty Butts in a Meat Forest (A Heist Gone Wrong)
20. Loki, the Original Horse Girl (and Saint Godzilla of Vengeance)
19. The Fast and the Fairyest (this episode (allegedly) directed by Justin Lin)
18. WTF Andrew Lang (we stan a disobedient daughter)
17. How to Economy (and look good in tiny golden shoes while you do it!)
16. An American Taily Po (and other stories from the Liar's Bench)
15. Silly Rowdy Boys (and why all birds go to jail)
14. Lesbian Cat Paradise (and where did Princess Cottongrass go?)
13. Ol' Candle Hands (and why you should be nice to dragonflies)
12. Hot Raven Husbands (and how squatter's rights can save your marriage)
11. Cinderella (and the bird she exploited to get to the top)
10. The Little Mermaid (and why you must be 18+ to talk to sea witches)
9. My Dark Hedgehog Academia (it's okay if you want to fight the man in the moon)
8. Share Your Noodles (and don't trust tomatoes!)
7. #TeamTroll (and the buff lesbian kingdom of our dreams)
6. Butt Kissers Anonymous (and tales of the O.G. spider-man)
5. We Discovered the Grimm Brothers (and other lies to impress your turtle wife)
4. Apple Cider Weather (and the last blood room of the season)
3. Justice for Raw Head (and why you shouldn't trust sticky birds)
2. Phantasmal Time Travelers (and other eligible bachelors)
1. Bloody Oatmeal (and other things snakes won't eat)