All Episodes
Steve Allen - A Little Bit Extra — 1000 episodes
Biltong
Theme parks
Mr Mayor
Valentines
Brits
Another one bites the dust
The motorcade
Don't tell lies
Flying rats
She did what?!
Don't sing it!
Haircut
I told you we'd stay together!
Teddy bears
Washing machines
Tanks
Dates
Oscars
Tax
Coronation
Black cabs
Today they've only got satsumas!
Sausage roll with extra sausages
Snow
Trainers
Close it down!
The Mona Lisa
The B team
Killer whales
You deal with it!
Campy Campy
Nearly There!
A Magic Mug
Scammed Twice
I thought you'd have a washboard stomach
New Sensation
I've had trouble before at Waterloo Station
They are tone deaf!
Fancy calling it pig
The Phantom
Something big
Such hypocrites!
'Appy Burfday
Right Royal Mess
Beckham Responds
Secret Surgery
Ruffled Fellas
Snow and Strikes
Lies lies lies
Family Photo Album
Christmas Tree
Tommy and the seagulls
I'm always fascinated by trolls
A not so glamourous assistant
Ripped Jeans
Christmas Trees
The Dancing Camera Man!
Jolly Holiday
Pain in the rear end
Long Range Lenses
Badmington
Whiskey Sour
Nick Matt Hancock!
Steve Allen enters the villa
Clueless in the jungle!
Books in brown paper bags
Nellie the Elephant
Scorpion Sting
Dirty Love
Bush Tucker Redial
Creepy & Crawly
What A Drag
Cruise Control
Shiny Happy People
Wet & Wild
Hurricane Steve
Rat Numbers
Going Spare
Snow Idea
A Load of Old Spherical Objects
It's Only Pretend
Take The Weather With You
In Steve We Truss
It's A Date
Simply The Best
Crowning Glory
Lightning Never Strikes Twice
Soup & Roll Evening
National Television Applause
Positive Energy
Beauty and the Beads
The Fame Game
No Expenses Spared
Live & Direct
Medal of Honour
Lucky Dip
Walking A Tightrope
Cha Cha Ciao
Foot On The Gas
Celeb Discount
I Think Not
Nailed It
The Brightest Penny
Poached Rhubarb
Bingo Roller
To Each Their Own
The Mourning After
Making Britain Great
Closer To Closure
Handbags & Gladrags
Walk To Rule
God Save The King
Brought To Heel
Losing Count
The Rock and a Hard Place
You The Judge
In The Dog House
Summer's Gone
Why They All Do It
Needle In A Haystack
All Of Life Is Here
In The Zone
Births, Deaths & Marriages
Once In A Lifetime
Whole Lotta Love
No Show
Friends Like These
The Latest Issue
Reality Radio
Dream Team
Hopelessly Devoted
The Carnival Is Over
Air and Water
Auf Wiedersehen
Hold me closer gangly dancer
Wedding fever!
I'm Not A Fisherman
Brad Pitt's What?!
Two Little Ducks
Ready Or Not
Top Dec
Flying The Flag
Keeping It Casual
Girls On Film
Wishful Thinking
Feeling The Heat
My Poor Throat!
Lock & Key
Sister Act
Cut Off
Seen It All Before
He Who Must Not Be Named
Arrivals and Departures
All's Well That Ends Well
Signed, Sealed, Delivered
Heroes & Villains
Coming Soon: The Followers
Forever Blowing Bubbles
In The Mix
Stranger Things
Eye of the Tiger
Hokey Pokey
Brothers & Fathers
A Place In The Sun
Hot and Bothered
Leaving On A Jet Plane
Speculate To Accumulate
The Heat Is On
Final Score
Glorious Technicolor
Oceans, Lakes & Rivers
Boxed In
Street Porter Pie
Party Tricks
Drifters in court
Backseat Driver
Like A Rolling Stone
Enjoy The Silence
Fit For A King
All That Jazz
Back In Styles
Lovely Jubilee
Take My Breath Away
The Only Way Is Up
Where There's A Will
Plane and Simple
Lucky For Some
End Of An Earring
Enter The Dragon
Pic of the Week
Interview in a discotheque
Knowing Me, Knowing Who?
Wear and Tear
Back Of The Met
Showcase Showdown
Carphone Karaoke
The World Keeps Turning
Make Or Break
Bang On Trend
Putting it about
Red Staircase
Medium Plugs
Telling time
Full Body Wax
The littlest bit extra
Horticulturalism and me
Exploding Butt Lifts
Paid to Sit
Life Through A Lens
Sister Act
Family Feud
Crowning Glory
Off The Box
Ray Of Light
I Don't Like Mondays
Tiny Little Bit Extra
Burning The Candle
Stage Directions
The Young and the Restless
Spring In Your Step
Two for Tuesday
Plane & Simple
Caribbean Queen
Hard Times
Holding Back The Years
A Radio Presenter Walks Into A Bar...
Fun Filled Mornings
Banging The Drum
Amazing Feet
Long Weekend
Beauty and the Sheep
Team Aubergine
Brooding and Soothing
Back In Contact
Lifetime Supply
Magic Number
Tug Boat
Regal Spice
Hey Ho
Finders Keepers
Ring Ring
Performing Penguins
Wind Power
Role Models
Better Late Than Never
The Morning After
Little Boys Toys
Ocean Drive
Both Barrels
Little Brit Extra
Introducing 'Feast is Feast with Big Zuu'...
Donkey Work
What's Good For The Goose...
Banana Split
Let Them Eat Cake
On & Hoff
Learning Your Lines
Play It Again, Sam
Celebrate Baz
Lion Heart
Magic Stars
Light & Shades
Drop It Like It's Hot
Bills & Ben
Take My Dec Away
Fool's Gold
Britain's Got More Talent
Don't Forget Your Toothbrush
Two Budgies Are Much Better
Set For Success?
Party Time
Living The Reem
Flim Flams
The Twelfth Night
Cher The Love
Big Voice Little Body
Throw Them All Away
Are you a complete dingbat?
A Little Bit Xmas
Turkey For One
World Exclusive
Ghost Town
A little bit drippy
Heightened Reality
Pasta La Vista
Lemon Aid
Booster Treat
There Is No Curse
In Real Life
I'm Pretty Sure Anne Boleyn Had It Worse!
Lightning Strikes Twice
The Printer Broke!
The State Of That Tree...
I Don't Like Long Hair, Wait... I Do!
I Need To Have A Word!
Bridge Over Troubled Water
It's A Knockout!
Little Drumstick Boy
Message In A Bottle
Mum's The Word
Use Your Loaf
The Ex Factor
Pierce Of Mind
Fields Of Cold
End of the Line
To The Moon & Back
You Know The Drill
Hot Rod
Oozing Glamour
Rarely Heard
Love & Marriage
Helpful Harry Styles
Toilet Etiquette
A Big Gun
Flying the Flag
Tin Foiled
Going Vogue
Shepherd's Delight
Stop The Pigeons
Queen Anne
Hammed Up
Shock and Horror
Nincompoops
Freedom Farce
Running On Full
The Fame and The Fury
Winners and Losers
Cruise Control
I Can't Believe It's Not Peanut Butter
Bad Attitude
What's My Dog?
Water Joke
Off Your Facebook
T-Day
Sweeping Up
When Will I Be Famous Again?
Little Black Books
Gorgeous & Available
Fuel For Thought
4 Vicars and a Motorway
Gushing Over
Swimming Pool Diva
You Know It Makes Sense
Last Season
Hot Air and a Gentle Breeze
Quality Time
Everybody's Talking About Jamie
Yes Sir, I Can Boogie
The Ant & Dec Awards
Thursday, We Think
Grade I Listed
I Could Be Brilliant
Boring As Heck
Here I Go Again
Recollections May Vary
Geroni-no
Cheap suits
I have a dilemma
Nearly season 23 years
Triple your figures
Rock & Dole
Baby I'm Bored
I Love It
It Really Would Be A Crawl
Let's Get Ready To Rumble... Again
Bills, Bills, Bills
The Third Person
Something Old, Something Blue
I haven't slept a wink
What's It Worth?
Not So Plain Jane
Winning The Pools
Just a Second
The World of Fake Hair....
Introducing 'I've Been Thinking with Peter Frankopan'
Poor Little Chuggs
By George!
Only A Mercedes
Doctor Who??
On The Market
Tower of Terror
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday
Whole Lotta Love Island
Wolf Free Zone
Structurally Unsound
Family Discount
Ab Drab
Water Taxi
Harrison's Splashing the cash!
Introducing 'If It Bleeds It Leads'
Anyone for candy floss?
I'm Steve Allen's Double
Secrets and Squirrels
Super Soaking
A Lilibet Extra
Can't Dance for Toffee
You can have all the money in the world, but still no hair...
Barking Near Dagenham
Falling Out
The right Price for a holiday
Friends and Fury
Pop Round for a Cuppa
I hope I look like that when I'm older!
Give that man the job!
Why does anyone go to watch motor racing?!
36 Year Itch
Steve Allen and the Faulty Thermometer
Missing You Already
Comfort Cooling
Shake a stick
Dead Shredded Wheat
So much energy and power!
Thrilled as chocolate biscuits...
Oh he's love island again...
I wonder what it'll be like when I'm 33?
Chips and doughnuts!
It's all a bit tragic really...
The only programme which is governed by alcohol!
Alright, goodbye!
So lucky aren't we...
You're a celebrity hairstylist!
I've never heard of her either!
Steve 'the gardener' Allen
Ah, he's got himself a friend!
Elton John and a yeast based spread
HOLD ME BACK!
They're obviously just using him...
He's finally got a job!
There is no such thing as an affable troll
What a silly thing to do!
We've heard it all before, dear!
You can stay in Dubai, and you can stay in Dubai, and you...
Balloons everywhere!
It's about damn time!
I think the producer needs some help...
Bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy!
I will get the vaccine!
And so it continues...
A right royal mess!
Tell your friends... He's back!
BREAKING NEWS: *Famous* Woman Pregnant!
A little too hairy indeed
Stay at home!
There are a load of geese walking around FREEZING cold right now!
Steve Allen: Sent From Above
Well, she is just talking about her cat...
You must shower with your clothes on!
You put your left leg in...
Let's all celebrate Sir Tom
An out of tune milk bottle, you'll remember that
I love me
I'm very fluid...
I'm having the time of my life ripping up this paper!
Imagine if I was an alien from another planet... you'd never know!
Oracle Steve Allen strikes again!
WEAR YOUR MASK!
How many more years are you going to have to put up with me? Answer: Many!
There's a bin for the bottom tier boyfriends
You've only been together for SIX MONTHS!
There you go, Cornwall's the place to go!
She's only gone and blocked EVERYBODY!
I'm Still Watching the Karens
Where do they get these Z-listers from?
Oh good grief, man has bottom!
Imagine not telling anybody I'd quit to become a lollipop man!
We don't need a press release for every celebrity pregnancy!
Brian May & His Badger Perfume
Of course it has to be a celebrity lawyer!
If you can afford to have another one, have another one!
The Frugal Allen Little Bit Extra
Put your hands up!
And then George Harrison emerges from a tree...
I once bought 36 bowls of chips
That'll get your end wet...
The worst time of year to try and lose weight...
Age is just a number!
I just can't turn corners...
It's all about the memories!
Too many stories about Love Islanders...
The 70s called. They're asking for their clothing range back!
I will go and order it now!
Don't Embarrass Yourselves
Goodbye from Stevie
I always spot it!
Corey was headboy!
Like a badly-made settee!
He can't take pictures, he can't make coffee... so now he's a model!
Fish guts *and* offal!
Steve Allen World
Sometimes I get mistaken for Tom Cruise
Not another one!
I feel like I'm in the jungle!
Not a bad impression, actually!
A dig or not a dig? That's the question.
I get mistaken for Tom Cruise all the time...
You're not allowed to say cheap
That was a bit awkward, wasn't it?!
I bet you they'll sound just the same without her!
Shane Richie x2
Why's he only using a small coin?
Introducing Hunting Ghislaine with John Sweeney
I like to spread it around
I wonder if he's gonna to do drag?
He had a hole in his jumper
No, you don't eat sandwiches like that!
I don't even know this first guy...
When will you be banging those ones out dear?
Hardly class but nevermind...
I don't do tequila...
I'm more in garage...
... and two rampant lions. I rest my case!
You don't get a cape, this isn't Harry Potter!
She's an inspiration to so many people...
I just can't remember his name!
Less a star, more a disa-star!
Gary Lineker? A hypocrite? Surely not!
It's like dealing with a five year old...
You probably wouldn't know how to use a coffee machine, would you?
Introducing "What Next?" with Lionel Barber
Maybe the sailor?
Congratulations and Celebrations!
Normally he needs things to be scripted for him...
It's babies, babies, babies... should we have a baby?
Who is she?
Bring a note from your parents...
Very embarrassing!
Stick your head in a bucket!
They do tend to drop don't they...
Don't go near them dear!
Makes him sound like an ice cream...
Just mute them, it's far easier!
Simon Cowell got a bit miffed...
I'm finally going to show him my little thing... under my arm!
He get's more bizarre by the day!
You won't know who she is actually...
Takeaway pizza and stuff like that...
Nope we can still see you...
Dipsticks and no-hopers
What a turn off
A bigger blob wearing black!
It's always the naff ones
It's been going on for donkey's years
Who will go to Brooklyn's wedding?
Shouldn't you be at work?
Counting pigeons
He's blocked her now
It looks a bit small and pokey
Never go swimming in the Thames!
Stay up the mountain in Switzerland!
Put the dog down! On the floor, I mean.
Sebastian and Lettuce...
Ghost of I'm a celeb...
Luke's spaghetti harvest...
I've got a cream playsuit...
The Steve Allen collection...
I didn't know they were still around
I’d rather sit in a fridge and eat cold peas…
PO-TA-TO
Every hotel in Portugal has a pool…
I don't even go to Gstaad...
He knows what he's missing
The red balloon
Five minutes of fame and then it all disappears!
Ooh no. Not in this weather!
She's so much better than you, Eamonn!
The feeling's mutual
He's gone to get his teeth done!
Pinocchio Allen
Neon bottoms
I'm gonna go out there with a frock on
A Bridge too far
The barman and the snail...
I'll be having turkey, goose, lobster...
What a dreary wedding that's going to be!
Meghan Markle in the news!
Remember the name...
No, Piers, you just hold the camera!
That's perhaps the wrong person to be interviewing a fitness guru!
Immaturity must run in the family!
What must the children be thinking?!
Occupation Unknown
Planting a tree - now that's real work!
Did I break Twitter?
A very embarrassing wardrobe malfunction!
Tina Turner is 80! She looks great!
Resignations and reinventions
The washboard stomach is in there somewhere...
Is that your final answer?
For 'vibrant purple rooms', read 'tacky'!
Katie Price now has a YouTube channel!
New squeezes and cheap suits
Counting down to that precious haircut!
Stacey Solomon can't live without Joe Swash, we can't live with him!
Hopefully Princess Beatrice will move to Italy...
Katie Price is dating at 42!
Things can only get... worse?
Oh, to be locked down with Joanna Lumley!
A secret fried chicken eater...
Sally Morgan and Katie Price, worst duo ever!
An avalanche of family photos
Goodbye Dame Vera, the Nation's Sweetheart!
Running out of hats...
So farewell then, Bob...
I'm getting really bored of that Joe Weeks...
No mask, no ride
You're welcome to peer at my garden!
Four hundred pounds on vegetables...
James Bond's bound to have a child by now!
Maybe I should get pregnant...
Top tip: don't put farting on your CV...
Being married to Piers Morgan...
How dare you criticise a gardener?!
My delicious steak recipe!
Katie Price CLAIMS she has a Netflix film!
Phantom today, the Panto tomorrow?!
David Beckham mocks someone else's appearance...
Should I get a bicycle?
Hiding behind a good many filters...
I'm not interested in pasta!
Anything but the pink suit!
A little surprise in a box of strawberries...
It's never too late to fall in love!
A very strict exercise regime...
A demanding diva? Surely not...
Could the aliens please keep her?
Do be careful, Piers!
Just a thousand calories?! No thank you.
Just give the lion a cookie...
X Æ A-12 is the new Harper Seven...
What will we do without Love Island?
What are magic sprinkles?
Simon Cowell's renovation...
Teaching actors to get physical...
Pardon my French!
A pie designed to look like a [REDACTED]
TV newsreaders will never be makeup artists...
What will he look like after six months?!
One meal a day... and it's probably a salad too!
Skinny jeans are a definite no-no...
I always knew he was a showbiz luvvie...
A stream of four-letter words...
The anatomy of an action man...
Inappropriate lawn-mowing attire...
I was right! Again!
No marks for Mark!
Whacking out my super-soaker!
A lesson in how to make toast
My ripped physique...
Cleaning dirty knees...
Just open a bloomin' window!
Have a listen to this line-up...
Laugh and the world laughs with you!
Her dad's records are inappropriate enough...
A falling wardrobe...
People are finally getting the message!
Celebrities make the worst teachers!
Please don't be stupid!
Being a pensioner has its uses...
Hands... washing hands...!
How will we cope without the Pussycat Dolls' reunion tour?
Frugal is the word!
A strange time to have a birthday...
Stop bloomin' stockpiling!
As daft as you are cabbage-looking
Just me, the loofah and a bar of soap
Champagne socialist income... or something like that...
Donald Trump is Pregnant?!
A proper Beckham birthday party!
I think I've got a small foreskin somewhere...
Global Celebrity Steve Allen... Yeah right!!!
He's such a lo-o-o-o-o-o-ser!
Milk doesn't last long
I've Got a Thing About Dirty Cars
You want a fight? I'll give you a fight
That whole family are all still children
Boost ratings?! You just lost a radio show!
...54...
You won't find me lying outside with my shirt off!
Do we know Adil Ray?
Steve Allen does estate agency!
Jack Whitehall's glittery jumpsuit
Surely they must have a toaster!
Who are Ipswich Town? Up the Aston!
A group of old men in reception... only it wasn't!
I thought, you know, slightly whoopsy
Surely not?! Next you'll be telling me Liberace and Biggins too!
Oh my poor finger...
He's considering going back in!
Teddy always drinks too much!
Oh how funny - she thinks it's real!
Mrs. Woman will be front of the queue
You can get colourful houses anywhere!
The Queen is permanently at church!
Give short men a chance!
The Rubix Challenge Is On!
And Ben, And Heidi...
Who ate all the pies?
I've found the Victoria Derbyshire viewer!
We're going around
You're supposed to be working your little bottom off... it is medically possible!
I'll punch his lights out... honestly!
Guess how much for an Oprah interview!
Nothing to show off in your family!
Sometimes not so happy - I am though!
Sleep with someone famous=YOU become famous
We are the Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse... we lost one okay!
A right Royal palaver!
As wooden as Sherwood Forest!
Up against a window, so we all turned around
The Bed in The Studio
We're back!
We'll be back in the new decade!
They'd think it's a hooker convention!
There was A LOT of hugging (too much!)
Is she the one who [REDACTED]? Oh dear...
And what have I got?! ... Satsumas ...
I'm telling you, it's fake news!
40 years ago today, I got the gig!
I thought he was an engineer but it was Lewis Capaldi!
Eating Camel testicles would be nourishing
'This Morning' having a row? I smell fake news.
Eating McDonald's with a knife and fork!
Gemma Collins is... losing weight!
I call myself Steven W. Allen
It's ghastly, it just looks like curtains
They're all being spotted at Winter Wonderland!
ET's back and he hasn't aged a bit!
Peeing in the shower is good for you!
Steve Allen's definition of Bankruptcy
I'll send him round to give you a kiss
I'm sure I've seen Joan Collins in a pair of jeans
More human than most
Eating pen-goodness gracious!
One sorbet, two sawbay
Nothing wrong with brotherly nudity
Sloppy Giuseppe? Well, we all know him
They can be very angry very dangerous things
Even God has subscribed!
Why not deep fry Kangaroo testicles?
He's some sort of singer but he can't put his trousers on properly
People say to me 'you're fat' and I say 'yeah'
Lovingly crafted in meringue
We already new it - he talks to plants
One of the naffest gardens I've ever seen!
Shaving behind the ears
Ladies and gentlemen - Scott Sinclair!
The scenic route
It's very American all this, just keep it over there!
She's such an old bag, I guess that's why Olly requested her
72 procedures, you look stupid mate
Do you know he has tantric sex?
Wind those clocks back!
We're riding the crest of a (radio) wave
She's gets a 1/10 but I got an 8/10
We tied elastic to her once
He's gone all campy campy
Nothing going on in America
Classy, classy, tattoo tacky
She can go off because she's highly sexed
Molly-Mae? She certainly will, won't she!
They say he's a model. Yeah, for Airfix.
Justice, sweet justice
I care little for either of them
Nobody had a toaster, dear
All these wonderful flavours like cucumber
It must look like the make-up counter at Boots
He stand on tippy-toe
She's got her hand on his leg... stop it, stop it!
We'll be the new Atlantis!
It triggers ovulation
He shaves his body
Beatrice?! - poor fella...
None of it seems to come off her face
The Countess of Wessex or a Glacier
The Triumphant(?) Return of Rodrigo Alves
I'm sure they're very sweet people, but nothing going on at all
It was like a SAGA holiday - it was that tragic
Holly Willoughby would look good in a bin liner!
They were not UFOs. Idiot
Oh go get a job you lazy thing
Georgia Steel: 21 years old going on 5
The Cow drove into the Moon
There ain't no party like an-oh he has not aged well!
Honestly, where are you from?
That's a very nice lawn
Building a Lego Hogwarts Castle
He's out of Strictly - oh my heart bleeds!
The gathering of the wives, past and present
It's a bumper Beckham special!
He's. Got. History... and so has he!
Happy birthday, big boy
Very delicate hands...
What a waste of tomatoes
GBBO is back - and worse than ever!
Gareth Gates is......still whining!
Excuse me, you're on MY seat
Too much Bruno! Too much!
She doesn't have superfans!
How did you NOT know that about Marmite?
Past it at 25? What does that say about me?!
No trust me... you do eat a lot... trust me...
Somehow the GC is even more disgusting!
Herds of wildebeests riding majestically into the pyramids
She must have put some chicken away
David Beckham is very peculiar
Every couple is on the rocks - tis all fake!
Her show is even worse than we thought!
The GC wnats to be J-Lo... it's a No No!
Her birthday party could not have been any tackier OR trashier
What's a furniture bash?
Eugenie, your podcast will not be a challenge to mine!
On come on Coleen - It was not a big secret!
A motley crew of naff boys
It's finally over!
Oh go on Tony, quit Tony!
It's a SEVENTH engagement for guess who!
Fadi's Fallen Foul of the Feds!
You DO NOT need more babies
The skyscraper is not 'phallic shaped'!
The Secrets of Game Show TV revealed - it's not what you think!
Scarlett don't play the victim!
Scarlett Moffat give it a break
I am the Number 1
Why wouldn't parenthood be tough?!
You don't hug strangers
The end has been announced!
CGI is so good I don't know what's real anymore
20 years of American Pie
Amy has left the villa... yay!
Five Star aren't what they once were
We didn't see Bros yesterday
Amy needs to get over herself and stop crying all the time
Because of course Gemma doesn't get jealous...
Katie Price wants to go into Love Island... she's too old!
Sounds like a furniture manufacturer, doesn't it?
She had them out in Mykonos, but they were the old ones
We can have you dipped like a sheep beforehand
Paddy McGuinness shares a bit TOO much
Lots of TV Presenters hate each other - let me (not) tell you who!
It looks like mutton dressed as mutton
BREAKING NEWS: Justin Bieber to become a cage fighter?!
Unfortunately, it wasn't actually a hot dog
RMT didn't affect me, but I feel sorry for Ascot-goers
800 Ofcom complaints for Love Island
There's no rain, but there's plenty of drips
Two hands? You're a liar!
Another one here
After the first 1000, I ran out of fingers...
He couldn't even make a cup of tea!
First one out of Love Island. No talent.
The Beckham's seem cash strapped
I told you all Yoga helps
It's not her size OR style
Love Island is back - and more boring than ever (somehow!)
I'd like an enlargement, how much is that?
You're wasting your time, Cheryl
You can't sing - or indeed do anything else worthwhile - Katie
Ever lain on top of an Afghan rug?
The Love Islanders are missing something this year...
When you say 'Bless You'!
Why are vulnerable people being put on Love Island in the first place
If Pricey isn't paying you, just take her to court like everyone else
Would you cover you walls with pictures of yourself?
Musical Chairs with Dragons is over
ITV haven't learnt much this week, have they?
Hypocrisy about Love Island? Surely not?!
If we had Jeremy Kyle's budget, I'd have a studio kitchen
Like I've always said, shows like Jeremy Kyle are trash
Baftas Baftas Baftas - will anyone ever dress well?
Uh oh Davie Boy, Uh oh!
I get mine done for free
I wouldn't bother putting clothes in the wardrobe, Stacey
Meghan heard us suggesting girls' names - so out came a boy
It looks to me like a second-hand junk shop!
The fake relationship is on again, even quicker than expected
One desperado has got a pokey flat, while another has got NO flat
Katie Price looks more like Jocelyn Wildenstein by the day
Well done Scott - and everyone else who pounded London's streets
Oh! That IS a lot of Lily Allen!
Meghan will take a break after maternity leave - a break from what?!
Megan Barton hanson says 'plastic surgery made her happy' - not pretty though dear
What's in the bag Dani? - Little Miss Dyer could be in trouble!
Stacey Dooley just looks naive and desperate
A predictable Beckham birthday
Nobody MADE you shove half of Colombia up your nose, Kerry
Haven't you heard of Selfridges, Gemma?
Oh Stacey - you've lowered yourself to their level, now
Why I don't want the Strictly judge gig
Tributes?! Darcey isn't dead!
I feel quite bilious after reading about those two blobs
Oh look - Pricey has admitted to being a liar!
How is Pricey's toy-boy affording all of this?!
The fake relationship is over... again
The whole Price family is utterly absurd
Oh to be a fly on the wall in the Spicy rehearsals
Ant's sympathy drive isn't going to wash with me
Now Mel B is using Vicky Beckham to seek attention too
Anyone want Pricey's scruffy old clothes? Thought not...
How to make a boring documentary even drearier: put Andrex on it
Ugh, my throat!
Those reality TV pitfalls I've spoken about are now there for all to see
Listen to what I have to put up with!
Pricey doesn't respect anyone or anything
Dave just doesn't have a sense of humour, sadly
Coke-tona is getting more disgusting by the day
A dancer won a dancing show... Well done him
Roxanne has shown off just how bright she isn't with this one
Apparently you can't talk about The Fridge, but discussing James Martin's weight is fine
The break-up charade lasted for all of one week
I've got some tips for all those budding z-listers
They're taking you for fools, these people
They're probably going to get back together - I told you so!
Even Gemma doesn't need that vile cokehead
Even the judge saw through Pricey
Don't panic - Roxanne won't be making any kind of comeback, still
Should you even have been driving, Cougar Caroline?
Whoever the BRIT winners were, Matt and Luke were the losers
This thief would be heckled in the street, if anyone actually knew who she is
Is Coleen just after a free holiday to Australia?
The top stories from the Beckham Fashion Week
Pricey has clearly got hold of a designer Money Tree as well
This idea might be good for my newsreader Josh, if not anybody else
Thirteen thousand? Jackanory, Jackanory, Jackanory...
The way they pandered to Gemma was pathetic!
For all the training she apparently did, The GC might as well have been on castors
Some brilliant lies this morning from two of our favourite desperados
Danny Dyer did WHAT, now?!
Bobby is still doing that funny voice, then
The ice dancing thing is getting a bit suspicious now
Emily Atack captures her dream job! - The face of Walker's crisps
Katie Price cancels TV appearance - TWICE!
The Duke and Duchess visit Dundee... poor souls!
The GC is milking THAT fall for all it's worth
How to combat spot problems
Shouldn't Vic be more worried about trying to flog her naff clothes?
The GC might want to Google the words "defamation lawyer"
Maybe it's time to do away with the NTAs
Miss Piggy's fan is upset now
Any other drunk-driver would have been hung out to dry, unlike "hero" Ant
We knew those bids weren't genuine, didn't we?
We all know which way she's heading - out of the door!
You're not a diva - you're just rude!
Couldn't they have tarted her up a bit?
Stacey seems to prefer the golden shilling to the golden story
The Pricey is... too high for her, apparently
The ice-skating is all about desperate publicity-seeking and nothing else
Yep, she's useless
Here comes the excuses
Cheryl is getting angry again
Davey-boy had a headache after his rubbish party
Droning on and on (and last one before the New Year!)
Chris told me first - so there!
Holly will take ALL the jobs before long
Of course they're putting it on!
Strictly is just Love Island without actually seeing them at it
Dani's gran seems nice...
The Mary Poppins Returns premiere! With a guest list of nobodies...
The Celebs are back!
The Big Get-Back-Together-Again... Get over yourselves!
Emily's phone won't stop ringing, apparently
The Big Break Up (Told you it was coming!)
Why I'm sad to see Anne go
I'm back, fear not!
Oh please just stop this now, Katie
It's getting tense down in the Jungle
It's everyone else's fault, again
I still don't know who this bloke from one of the soaps who's in the Jungle is
Make your mind up, Pricey - are you with him or not?
Have they sacked that Loose Women producer yet?
Who turned up for the Winter Wonderland freebie?
Is being vegan an opt-out diet, then?
Pricey has come up with a masterstroke
It's started well out in the Jungle
Does Holly know she's the presenter?
I'll tell you who really, really bought those tickets
Seann and the producers just want to sell their respective tours
The lies about the Jungle contestants have begun
Who does that nobody James Jordan think he is?!
Is Danny REALLY that famous?
We had some visitors yesterday morning...
She's seeking your attention yet again
I really don't know if this reunion will work or not
Remember, remember the 5th of November - the strangest celebration!
Kate isn't in showbiz and isn't a celebrity, of course
Now the nobodies are dressing up as well
She's got away with it again - for now
Ignore the lies - she won't end up homeless
Gordon, Gino & Fred Road Trip: Too much of Gino!!!
Cheryl is recording a new album... honestly, who cares?
The Rooney's are still abroad - thank the lord!
The Kardashians... Of Essex...
Katie has bought a puppy - bankruptcy can't be that bad
Love Island is about Sex, so how did it win the Teen Awards?
Another dreary Strictly scandal brewing
As I thought, the ITV Gala red carpet was indeed full of nobodies
It seems they invited pretty much anybody onto the ITV Gala red carpet
This is hopefully the last we'll hear of her for a while
Let's hope she swerved to avoid a fox or something
I'm bored of hearing about this kiss now
Strictly is getting beautifully ugly