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All Episodes

STOP! Hammer Time - The West Ham Podcast — 497 episodes

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Title
1

Draft Includer

2

Czechs and Balances

3

Taty-bye

4

“It’s Alive!”

5

Arteta dedicates title to twin he ate in womb

6

Villa and Chelsea AXED from Xmas Card list

7

Premature Evacuation

8

Greek Week

9

Silva allowed into Axis of Evil

10

Back Axel!

11

“Managers? I sh*t ‘em!” shouts Bowen

12

“Go on, Todibo!” says Entire Planet

13

Win Lifts Hammers into Bottom Three

14

To Dare is to D’Oh

15

Laughing Stockley

16

Can Nuno Fight Forest Fire?

17

Ollie Oops!

18

Gravity v Kilman: One Battle After Another

19

Mavropanos’s head “Legitimate target,” claims Trump

20

Just the Bill, Please

21

Two-Two a Bad Look for Hammers

22

Harry Potty: it’s a Redknapp Draft Special

E
23

Salad Days

24

Outbreak of Competence Shocks Essex

25

Kilman: footballer, liquid or inert gas?

26

Home is Where the Heart Isn’t

27

Arteta “Great,” says Unholy Entity

28

Team Espirito

29

High Nuno?

30

Mateus Rosy

31

Antoniode

32

Areola: “I’m kicking myself.”

33

Can You Feel the Draft?

34

Vinyl Score

35

A tax! A tax! A tax-a tax-a tax!!

36

Man Who?

37

“Lighten up, Graham” says Morrissey

38

“Women kick off pair of draws,” claims Sid James

39

Teu-tonic: We like Füllkrug

40

Crowd Noise Buoys Moyes

41

Newcastle Concession Dampens Concessions Concession

42

Half and Half Scarles

43

Forest loanee “Promising,” gushes Potter

44

Scotrates! Is Irving the new GOAT?

45

Hammers Smash Villa 1-1

46

Guilherme: Man or Beanstalk?

47

“He’s got staying power,” says Truss.

48

Hurry Potter

E
49

Moyes: From Obiang to OBE

50

VAR Humbug

51

I Like Mike

E
52

Bissaka the Attacka

53

J-Lo a No-Go

54

Spurs Pair Cheat Death in Kudus Horror Attack

E
55

Hot Toddy

56

Hammers “odds on for drop” claims mystery Brazilian

57

Ings Hair “needed time to settle.”

58

KUMB On You Irons

59

We have lift-off

E
60

“Amadou a header,” says Onana

E
61

“Trophies? I sh*t ‘em!” shouts Bowen.

E
62

Handy Irving

63

Pochetti-D’OH! “Did we keep the receipt?”

E
64

Laters, Haters

E
65

Furious Hammers fan thrown into Chelsea Game

E
66

Jurgenna Win F***-All

67

Massive Slaughter Mars Croydon Sing-Song

E
68

Love Shak

69

GORDON’S A LIAR!!!

E
70

“I’m Going Back, Baby!” says incorrect man.

71

Ings “like new signing” claim Sullivan and Steidten

72

LucasAid

73

Hudson O’D’oh

74

Toby Jones to star in ‘Mr. Moyes vs the PGMOB'

75

Season’s Beatings

76

The Defence Rests (Fulham score.)

77

Soucek Goal Celebration “Nuanced”, Claims Small Child

E
78

Hammers “down to bare bones” claims delighted Moyes

79

Kajagoogooner

80

Ings Can Only Get Better

81

West Ham late equaliser “Gutting” says referee

82

Ricardo Vaz Te: 01/10/86 - “Stay In School.”

83

Sky Diver

84

Soucek for Soucek sub “Maximum Moyes,” claim experts.

85

Gale Force 10

E
86

Ooooh, Betty

87

JWP Selects Right Club - Come On You Putters

88

ForfaNo Deal Falls Through

89

Cheats on Toast: FIO 1 - 2 WHU

90

Dicks’s Name Goes in Book. Again

91

Early Czech-In time for the Final

92

Dutch Courage

93

De Gea Vs Earth's Surface

94

Moyes's Rotation “Less Detectable Than Earths” Say Scientists

95

Choker’s Gunner Choke

96

David Moyes - Accept No Substitute

97

Devin Intervention

98

Seagulls Nicked My Chips

99

Notts So Shabby

100

"Winning Is What I Do" Says Next Former Manager

101

Next Week - Paqueta Tries The Asymmetric Bars!

102

Frankly My Dear, We Didn’t Give a Damn

103

Last Roll of the Dyche

104

Benni Happy Returns

105

Board to Sack Moyes and Bring in Survival Expert, Bavid Joyes

106

Bonus - Never Write off Danny Murphy

107

Bonus - World Cup Whistleblowers Daily - December 8th 2022

108

Antonio No Not Again

109

Hen’s Teeth ‘Rarer than West Ham Goals’ Says Expert

110

Doing a Nolan

111

Drewery Madly Deeply

112

Scamaccattack!

113

‘West Ham are Passive… Everywhere We Go’

114

Édouard Pretendy

115

Danish Pasting

116

The Magnificent 7

117

They Think it’s all Overton

118

European City Break Enhanced By Satisfactory Football Result

119

The Marks’ Brothers in - Cup Soup

120

Rulers of Everton, Kings of Lyon?

121

Tony Carr - Master of the Academy

122

The Thrilla V Sevilla

123

Go Yarmo Go

124

Souček Keeps Wolves From the Door

125

Can I Kick It? No You Can’t

126

Window Latest - Is it Curtains for West Ham?

127

West Ham Season “Over,” Says Lifetime Fan

128

Manu From Heaven

129

Declan Who? Watford Triumph Dissected

130

Sudden Drop in Mass Detected at East London Football Club

E
131

Succession - The New Series

132

Official - Masuaku More Massive than Lukaku

133

Rapid Recovery?

134

Fantasy Football - Klopp Match-Analysis Analysed by Top Analysts

E
135

Portrait of Cresswell Found in Local Attic

136

Top Dec

137

Alex Kral - Attack Of The Clones

138

Lost In Translation

139

Spot of Bother

140

Wrestlemania - Antonio Sees Red

E
141

Fine Wines, Good Entertainment, and a Fight

E
142

Prem Title "West Ham's To Lose” Says Spokes-Idiot

143

Molto Benny

144

Four Keepers and a Striker

145

Never Write Off The English

E
146

TRAILER: Never Write Off The Germans - EURO2020

147

You Sixthy Thing

148

Run-In Scared

149

Can’t Score For Toffees

150

Manu’s Jewell Role

151

Fabian Balbuena’s Time Travelling Leg

E
152

Sean Bean And Gone

153

Kinda Lingerz

154

Dances Through Wolves

155

We’ll Score Four More Than You

156

F***k Your Soft Spot..

157

Top Knot-ch! Hammers In Man Bun Massacre

158

Soul-čheck Says Do The Latte Lunge

159

Band On A Run

160

Stop The Steel

161

2 Games 2 Far

162

The North Bank Show

163

The Joy Of Six

164

TIT-Goal!!

165

Say Haller Wave Goodbye

166

Lanzini's Big Hootemanny

167

‘Ammers On Prime

168

Frankly My Dear, We Don’t Give a Damn.

169

Unveiled - World’s First Self Tackling Footballer

170

West Ham Take The Fifth

171

Blades Trump Hammers In Shock Recount

172

Don’t Lookman Now

173

Spooky Hallereen Special

174

David Moyes - Accept No Substitute

175

Manny Happy Returns

176

Bouncing Czechs

177

Raised By Wolves

178

Diang-gonner

179

A Words From Fabian

180

Board To Distraction

181

For The Love Of Mike

182

Come On All Metals

183

Felipe-Flops

184

Empty Stadium “Still Noisier Than Emirates" Say Audiologists

185

For England and for Harry!

186

The Delaney Beating

187

Masuaku’s Lockdown Meltdown

188

6 Hour Eamonn Dolan Tribute

189

Stay Home If You Love Paul Ince

E
190

Nicky Maynard - West Ham Legend

191

Blood Brothers

E
192

Chelsea 0 - WHU 4 The Skype’s The Limit

E
193

Football? We Wash Our Hands Of It

194

From Coronas to Rabonas

E
195

Arthur Masuaku - Footballer Or Concept?

E
196

Pier Pressure

E
197

Let’s Get Relegation Done!

E
198

VAR From The Maddened Crowd

E
199

The Future Is Orange?

E
200

Season’s Beatings

E
201

Can I Speak To The Manager?

E
202

Psycho Logical

E
203

Roberto To Football - “Live Your Life; I Won’t Stand In Your Way.”

E
204

26 Games To Save Our Season

E
205

Newcastle Browned Off

E
206

You Don’t Know Jack; But We Do

207

James Collins Special Mini Show

208

F*ckingham Palace

E
209

Ginger Pelé

E
210

Oh No Roberto

E
211

Go Fifth and Multiply

E
212

ExWHUemployee, Akabusi, & Haller-lujah!

E
213

Mark Noble - He Bleeds Ham

214

Brighton Rocky

215

VAR She Blows

E
216

Carroll Signs! (Own Cast)

E
217

El Paraguay Guy

E
218

Thrust In Motion - Antonio’s Celebrations Decoded

E
219

Take Your Whistle and F**k Off

E
220

Edin Hazard Don’t Sign Džeko!!!

E
221

Pellardyce - Hammers Go Long Ball

E
222

Rolls Rice

E
223

Billy Bites Your Bum

E
224

Hammer and Nail Salon

E
225

Uppity Clipperty Klopp

E
226

Yah Mo Be There

E
227

All Hands on Dec

228

Introducing Woke Sullivan

229

Staying Up With The Decorations

E
230

Chariot of the Snods

E
231

Arthur Masuaku 2 - On The Rocks

232

City Win Inevitable, Say Experts

233

...And We Don’t Care. Alvin Martin Part 2

234

Alvin Martin: He’s Got No Hair

235

Farewell to Yarms

236

Rice Makes Pudding of Mourinho

237

Whelans: Conduit to the Gods, Says Whelans

238

Dirty Sanchez

239

Hair Imagery Discussed in Modern Football

240

What would Elon do?

241

When The Fun Stops, Start

242

Sullivan Out Says Moyes

243

This Means Warnock

244

Carroll Heads Home Twice in 4-1 Defeat

245

My Hart Will Go On… Letting Goals In

246

Pea Shooter

247

Bungalow For Sale

248

Blood And Popcorn

249

1-2 Home Win Predicts Geographically Challenged Man

250

#WhoopieDoopieTime

251

Brush With Disaster

252

David Moyes' Claret and Blue Arny

253

Fiery Mayhem

254

Rob Phils In

255

Injury Lawyers 4 U

256

C'mon Phil The Moyes

257

Amoyesing Groyce

258

All Hail The Moyes'iah

259

Moyes in the black stuff

260

Moyes Я Us

261

Moyes Keeps Swinging

262

Moyes The Pity

263

Ayew 'Avin A Laugh?

264

Golden Showers, Golden Memories

265

Rice Hatrick Saves Bilic's Job, Imagines Man

266

Hart’s Not In It

267

A.C/Dicey

268

Best 11: Hart's Not In It

269

Little Pead Off

270

Arnautović 2nd Red Card Preview

271

Ayew Experienced?

272

"There is a Fire Drill"

273

Are You West Ham In Disguise?

274

37 Games To Save Our Season

275

Hammers Crush Red Devils Predicts Idiot

276

Hip Hip Hooray

277

Wagner Wagner What's The Score?

278

Least Worst Hammertime of The Year

279

Safety Announcement

280

You say Lukaku, I say Masuaku

281

Hammers Stumble In Relegation Push

282

WHU Poetry Smackdown

283

Relegation Disaster Special

284

We’re Not West Ham Anymore?

285

Men of Men of Iron

286

Trump at right wing back

287

We Love You big tits

288

Andy Carrolls Communist Witchhunt

289

Carrollzinger

E
290

Mike Dean, Schrodinger’s prat

291

Wantaway Post - I Want Champions League

E
292

Simply The Best

293

You Lose Some You Lose Some

E
294

It’s all up for grabs

E
295

Lukaku, the case for Brexit

E
296

Wilkonnen, Bien Venue, Welcome Chelsea Brexiters

297

Respect The Point Says Ex-England Manager

E
298

Hog Roast United PLC

299

The Hateful 8 (goals Conceded)

300

Premature Evacuation

301

R.E.(Antoni).O Speedwagon

E
302

Stick It Up Your Sticker Book

E
303

Housewarming Party

E
304

The Smell On Joachim Low's Finger

E
305

The Green Street Grass of Home

306

Thick and Fast (Remastered Version)

307

Vive Le Laque Libre

E
308

WTF, LVG?

E
309

All Four Won and One For All

E
310

Help Me Obiang, You're Our Only Hope

E
311

Danger UX-Knee

E
312

The Alex Song Spectacu-lacular

E
313

The Hateable Eight West Hams Unbeaten Run

E
314

Pre-Boxing Day Post Xmas Day Special

315

Christmas At Sullivan Towers

E
316

Swansea v West Ham Preview

317

The Turner Prize

E
318

Stoke Preview

E
319

Westfield of Dreams

E
320

Oh, Oh Antonio

321

Mr Boombastic

E
322

McCarthy Hate Campaign Day One

E
323

Gilbert and David Sullivan

E
324

Billy Ray Cyrus West Ham Legend

325

Money Back Mancs and More

326

May The Fourth Be With You

327

Canary Saves Pigeon Warewolf Looks On

E
328

Argon: As Good For You Today As Its Always Been

E
329

Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong

E
330

Jim Grant Farewell Old Friend

E
331

Croatian Run Down Chart 2

E
332

Fiery Madness

E
333

All Croatian Music Explained

334

The Phil Parkes Special - LIVE!

E
335

Farewell Sam, Hello Success

E
336

Xanadon't

E
337

The Winger Time Forgot

E
338

Bar Mitzvah Boy

E
339

Pride of Irons

340

Sam’s Three Steps To Kevin

341

The George Parris Special

342

Airmiles For Parris

343

Big Sam’s Positions Of Maximum Orgasm

344

Live.WestHamPodcast.com

345

Go Fourth And Multiply

346

Mrs Noble, We Love You

347

Definitely Maybe Not

348

Can You Feel The Fourth

349

Diamond Geezers

350

Power-dressing, In Love With Kouyate

351

Alex Song’s Helmet Pelmet

352

Gordon's Dad or Valencia

353

Horlicks, Cocoa, Vodka

354

#BringMohamedSalahHome

355

Carlton Cole’s Self-Controlling Balls

356

The Chimp Paradox Sponsored By KFC

357

We've All Bitten Someone

358

ENGLAND SPECIAL! Penalties Preview

359

It’ll Go To Penalties Episode 2

360

Never Write Off The Germans - World Cup 2014 Preview

361

World Cup 2014 Preview

362

Sack It and See

363

The Julian Dicks Special

364

We Don’t Know What You’re Doing

365

A Mexican Yawn

366

Abseiling Down Bobby Moore

367

Sing When We're Losing

368

Boo When We're Winning

369

Lazy Susanne

370

Back in The Game

371

Stand Up If You’re Standing Up

372

12 Years A Squad Player

373

I Don't Want To Go To Chelsea

374

Licked By A Police Horse

375

Krissmas Cheer

376

Andy Carroll: The Long Walk To Freedom

377

Snowed Off

378

No Score Draws – The New Wins

379

There's Only One Peter Osgood

380

Vaz Te For England

381

Bag of Ravel's

382

West Ham Cock Quiz

383

6 Shots And Counting

384

Scared of Flair

385

Stealing The Back Post

386

Giggity Giggity Goal!

387

Not Wading but Downing

388

End of Season Wrap Party

389

Deconstructing Harry

390

Don Perretta Bathes With the Lobsters

391

Gary O'Neil the Hoarse Whisperer

392

A Horse with No Name

393

Jim Loves Ginger Nuts

394

Is that your Vinyl Answer?

395

Height = Goal, Live!

396

Sport's Game – England's Favourite Pastime

397

Di Canio's Italian Job

398

Bobby Moore's Claret and Blue Army

399

The Double Don One With Sam

400

Arsenal Away: The Silence of the Fans

401

Plethora of Ricketts

402

Wanted: New Song for Carlton Cole

403

Stand Up, Sit Down, Make Some Noise!

404

Apollo 13 - West Ham 0

405

Theres A Place For That Blue Flag

406

Pie Cast Of Peace

407

The Victor Obinna Memorial Shot

408

The Pete Townshend Defence

409

BanterGeddon

410

Like Having Sex With Madonna

411

Jim Fixed it... For Jim

412

Pathological Conservatism

413

West Ham Enjoy It Up The Rs

414

The Race to League Zero

415

Autumn Almana

416

Akabusi, 36DD

417

The Camp Cockney Lexicon

418

#DiameFacts

419

West Ham Olympic

420

Never Write Off The Germans Episode 5 with Sam Delaney

421

Never Write Off The Germans Episode 2 with Phil Whelans

422

Bronze Medal Winners

423

Quim and Ale (the LIVE podcast pt2)

424

The Kinghts of the Platinum Temple

425

That Bloody Horse

426

Play Off Special

427

Night of a Thousand Hammers

428

Put Your Foot in the Air Like You Just Don’t Care

429

Stand Up If You’re Delusional

430

Vaz Te, one ball heading Mofo!

431

Comedy of Errors

432

Balls Half Out

433

Badly Drawn, Boys.

434

We Need To Talk About Kevin

435

Boos Cruise

436

Hammertime Confidential

437

Valentines Day Massacre?

438

Ravel Smashes Transfer Window

439

How much is that donkey in the window?

440

Vomitorium

441

Pete s Radio Mini Break

442

GPS Killed the Physio Star

443

Sign The Cat

444

Balloony Cross, Whipped Cross and Shanks

445

Big In Eastern Bratislava

446

Back To The Future

447

Get Me a Tick Tick

448

Fat Sam's at the wheel

449

A Ward Evening

450

Second Heaven-shire

451

Papa Bouba Diop's Head Explained

452

Steve Lomassive Attack

453

It's A Family Affair

454

Taking the Ball in Your Nuts

455

Four Four Two Is Always Hiding

456

Aerial Ping Pong

457

Rocket Man

458

Mr Moon Has Left The Stadium

459

Scott Free (or nearest offer)

460

Transfer Window Smashed By Looters

461

We Are Staying Up!

462

Allardyce Out! The Arguments Explained

463

Bolton Olympic: The New West Ham?

464

Phone Hacking Scandal Reaches E13 (it's THAT compilation show)

465

24 May 11 - Bacon Bites

466

17 May 11 - We'll fight 'til the end... of the Gala Dinner

467

09 May 11 - A Letter From The Chairman

468

27 Apr 11 - Are We Newcastle In Disguise?

469

19 Apr 11 - The Championship Run In?

470

12 Apr 11 - Fight! Fight! Fight!

471

05 Apr 11 - David Sullivan Invented my Hamster

472

29 March 11 - 'I Am Legend' The Scott Parker Story

473

22 Mar 11 - Brush With Death

474

07 Mar 11 - Walking In A Cottee Wonderland

475

02 Mar 11 - If Football be the Food of Life...

476

22 Feb 11 - Hitzville UK!

477

14 Feb 11 - Say Hello To My Little Friend

478

07 Feb 11 - Scott Parker 0, Bus Parker 1

479

05 Feb 11 - WHU Let The Dog Out?

480

31 Jan 11 - Mad Dog And The Pussy

481

24 Jan 11 - Silence is Golden And Sullivanen

482

17 Jan 11 - Birmingham, Arsenal and Avram - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

483

10 Jan 11 - New Year Special!

484

20 Dec 10 - Avram's Stocking Fillers

485

13 Dec 10 - Boa Morte's Xmas Message

486

06 Dec 10 - Another Letter From Kovac

487

29 Nov 10 - GIANTKILLERS: Premiership Minnows Stun Wigan Galacticos

488

15 Nov 10 - At Last Three Points! (From Three Matches)

489

08 Nov 10 - I've got a bad case of the Farmers...

490

02 Nov 10 - West Ham beat Arsenal in thrilling parallel-universe clash

491

25 Oct 10 - Lars Attacks and the Behrami of Darkness

492

18 Oct 10 - Dog Boy, Hamburglar And The Inferminator

493

04 Oct 10 - Top 4 Finish Now In Doubt-OFFICIAL

494

27 Sep 10 - Victor Obinna in Triumphant Farewell Game

495

21 Sep 10 - 1-1 Victory Celebration Special

496

31st Aug 10 - Does Your Agent Know You're Here? (The transfer window opened and closed)

497

23rd Aug 10 - Two Down, Only Thirty Six to Go