STOP! Hammer Time - The West Ham Podcast cover art

All Episodes

STOP! Hammer Time - The West Ham Podcast — 496 episodes

#
Title
1

Czechs and Balances

2

Taty-bye

3

“It’s Alive!”

4

Arteta dedicates title to twin he ate in womb

5

Villa and Chelsea AXED from Xmas Card list

6

Premature Evacuation

7

Greek Week

8

Silva allowed into Axis of Evil

9

Back Axel!

10

“Managers? I sh*t ‘em!” shouts Bowen

11

“Go on, Todibo!” says Entire Planet

12

Win Lifts Hammers into Bottom Three

13

To Dare is to D’Oh

14

Laughing Stockley

15

Can Nuno Fight Forest Fire?

16

Ollie Oops!

17

Gravity v Kilman: One Battle After Another

18

Mavropanos’s head “Legitimate target,” claims Trump

19

Just the Bill, Please

20

Two-Two a Bad Look for Hammers

21

Harry Potty: it’s a Redknapp Draft Special

E
22

Salad Days

23

Outbreak of Competence Shocks Essex

24

Kilman: footballer, liquid or inert gas?

25

Home is Where the Heart Isn’t

26

Arteta “Great,” says Unholy Entity

27

Team Espirito

28

High Nuno?

29

Mateus Rosy

30

Antoniode

31

Areola: “I’m kicking myself.”

32

Can You Feel the Draft?

33

Vinyl Score

34

A tax! A tax! A tax-a tax-a tax!!

35

Man Who?

36

“Lighten up, Graham” says Morrissey

37

“Women kick off pair of draws,” claims Sid James

38

Teu-tonic: We like Füllkrug

39

Crowd Noise Buoys Moyes

40

Newcastle Concession Dampens Concessions Concession

41

Half and Half Scarles

42

Forest loanee “Promising,” gushes Potter

43

Scotrates! Is Irving the new GOAT?

44

Hammers Smash Villa 1-1

45

Guilherme: Man or Beanstalk?

46

“He’s got staying power,” says Truss.

47

Hurry Potter

E
48

Moyes: From Obiang to OBE

49

VAR Humbug

50

I Like Mike

E
51

Bissaka the Attacka

52

J-Lo a No-Go

53

Spurs Pair Cheat Death in Kudus Horror Attack

E
54

Hot Toddy

55

Hammers “odds on for drop” claims mystery Brazilian

56

Ings Hair “needed time to settle.”

57

KUMB On You Irons

58

We have lift-off

E
59

“Amadou a header,” says Onana

E
60

“Trophies? I sh*t ‘em!” shouts Bowen.

E
61

Handy Irving

62

Pochetti-D’OH! “Did we keep the receipt?”

E
63

Laters, Haters

E
64

Furious Hammers fan thrown into Chelsea Game

E
65

Jurgenna Win F***-All

66

Massive Slaughter Mars Croydon Sing-Song

E
67

Love Shak

68

GORDON’S A LIAR!!!

E
69

“I’m Going Back, Baby!” says incorrect man.

70

Ings “like new signing” claim Sullivan and Steidten

71

LucasAid

72

Hudson O’D’oh

73

Toby Jones to star in ‘Mr. Moyes vs the PGMOB'

74

Season’s Beatings

75

The Defence Rests (Fulham score.)

76

Soucek Goal Celebration “Nuanced”, Claims Small Child

E
77

Hammers “down to bare bones” claims delighted Moyes

78

Kajagoogooner

79

Ings Can Only Get Better

80

West Ham late equaliser “Gutting” says referee

81

Ricardo Vaz Te: 01/10/86 - “Stay In School.”

82

Sky Diver

83

Soucek for Soucek sub “Maximum Moyes,” claim experts.

84

Gale Force 10

E
85

Ooooh, Betty

86

JWP Selects Right Club - Come On You Putters

87

ForfaNo Deal Falls Through

88

Cheats on Toast: FIO 1 - 2 WHU

89

Dicks’s Name Goes in Book. Again

90

Early Czech-In time for the Final

91

Dutch Courage

92

De Gea Vs Earth's Surface

93

Moyes's Rotation “Less Detectable Than Earths” Say Scientists

94

Choker’s Gunner Choke

95

David Moyes - Accept No Substitute

96

Devin Intervention

97

Seagulls Nicked My Chips

98

Notts So Shabby

99

"Winning Is What I Do" Says Next Former Manager

100

Next Week - Paqueta Tries The Asymmetric Bars!

101

Frankly My Dear, We Didn’t Give a Damn

102

Last Roll of the Dyche

103

Benni Happy Returns

104

Board to Sack Moyes and Bring in Survival Expert, Bavid Joyes

105

Bonus - Never Write off Danny Murphy

106

Bonus - World Cup Whistleblowers Daily - December 8th 2022

107

Antonio No Not Again

108

Hen’s Teeth ‘Rarer than West Ham Goals’ Says Expert

109

Doing a Nolan

110

Drewery Madly Deeply

111

Scamaccattack!

112

‘West Ham are Passive… Everywhere We Go’

113

Édouard Pretendy

114

Danish Pasting

115

The Magnificent 7

116

They Think it’s all Overton

117

European City Break Enhanced By Satisfactory Football Result

118

The Marks’ Brothers in - Cup Soup

119

Rulers of Everton, Kings of Lyon?

120

Tony Carr - Master of the Academy

121

The Thrilla V Sevilla

122

Go Yarmo Go

123

Souček Keeps Wolves From the Door

124

Can I Kick It? No You Can’t

125

Window Latest - Is it Curtains for West Ham?

126

West Ham Season “Over,” Says Lifetime Fan

127

Manu From Heaven

128

Declan Who? Watford Triumph Dissected

129

Sudden Drop in Mass Detected at East London Football Club

E
130

Succession - The New Series

131

Official - Masuaku More Massive than Lukaku

132

Rapid Recovery?

133

Fantasy Football - Klopp Match-Analysis Analysed by Top Analysts

E
134

Portrait of Cresswell Found in Local Attic

135

Top Dec

136

Alex Kral - Attack Of The Clones

137

Lost In Translation

138

Spot of Bother

139

Wrestlemania - Antonio Sees Red

E
140

Fine Wines, Good Entertainment, and a Fight

E
141

Prem Title "West Ham's To Lose” Says Spokes-Idiot

142

Molto Benny

143

Four Keepers and a Striker

144

Never Write Off The English

E
145

TRAILER: Never Write Off The Germans - EURO2020

146

You Sixthy Thing

147

Run-In Scared

148

Can’t Score For Toffees

149

Manu’s Jewell Role

150

Fabian Balbuena’s Time Travelling Leg

E
151

Sean Bean And Gone

152

Kinda Lingerz

153

Dances Through Wolves

154

We’ll Score Four More Than You

155

F***k Your Soft Spot..

156

Top Knot-ch! Hammers In Man Bun Massacre

157

Soul-čheck Says Do The Latte Lunge

158

Band On A Run

159

Stop The Steel

160

2 Games 2 Far

161

The North Bank Show

162

The Joy Of Six

163

TIT-Goal!!

164

Say Haller Wave Goodbye

165

Lanzini's Big Hootemanny

166

‘Ammers On Prime

167

Frankly My Dear, We Don’t Give a Damn.

168

Unveiled - World’s First Self Tackling Footballer

169

West Ham Take The Fifth

170

Blades Trump Hammers In Shock Recount

171

Don’t Lookman Now

172

Spooky Hallereen Special

173

David Moyes - Accept No Substitute

174

Manny Happy Returns

175

Bouncing Czechs

176

Raised By Wolves

177

Diang-gonner

178

A Words From Fabian

179

Board To Distraction

180

For The Love Of Mike

181

Come On All Metals

182

Felipe-Flops

183

Empty Stadium “Still Noisier Than Emirates" Say Audiologists

184

For England and for Harry!

185

The Delaney Beating

186

Masuaku’s Lockdown Meltdown

187

6 Hour Eamonn Dolan Tribute

188

Stay Home If You Love Paul Ince

E
189

Nicky Maynard - West Ham Legend

190

Blood Brothers

E
191

Chelsea 0 - WHU 4 The Skype’s The Limit

E
192

Football? We Wash Our Hands Of It

193

From Coronas to Rabonas

E
194

Arthur Masuaku - Footballer Or Concept?

E
195

Pier Pressure

E
196

Let’s Get Relegation Done!

E
197

VAR From The Maddened Crowd

E
198

The Future Is Orange?

E
199

Season’s Beatings

E
200

Can I Speak To The Manager?

E
201

Psycho Logical

E
202

Roberto To Football - “Live Your Life; I Won’t Stand In Your Way.”

E
203

26 Games To Save Our Season

E
204

Newcastle Browned Off

E
205

You Don’t Know Jack; But We Do

206

James Collins Special Mini Show

207

F*ckingham Palace

E
208

Ginger Pelé

E
209

Oh No Roberto

E
210

Go Fifth and Multiply

E
211

ExWHUemployee, Akabusi, & Haller-lujah!

E
212

Mark Noble - He Bleeds Ham

213

Brighton Rocky

214

VAR She Blows

E
215

Carroll Signs! (Own Cast)

E
216

El Paraguay Guy

E
217

Thrust In Motion - Antonio’s Celebrations Decoded

E
218

Take Your Whistle and F**k Off

E
219

Edin Hazard Don’t Sign Džeko!!!

E
220

Pellardyce - Hammers Go Long Ball

E
221

Rolls Rice

E
222

Billy Bites Your Bum

E
223

Hammer and Nail Salon

E
224

Uppity Clipperty Klopp

E
225

Yah Mo Be There

E
226

All Hands on Dec

227

Introducing Woke Sullivan

228

Staying Up With The Decorations

E
229

Chariot of the Snods

E
230

Arthur Masuaku 2 - On The Rocks

231

City Win Inevitable, Say Experts

232

...And We Don’t Care. Alvin Martin Part 2

233

Alvin Martin: He’s Got No Hair

234

Farewell to Yarms

235

Rice Makes Pudding of Mourinho

236

Whelans: Conduit to the Gods, Says Whelans

237

Dirty Sanchez

238

Hair Imagery Discussed in Modern Football

239

What would Elon do?

240

When The Fun Stops, Start

241

Sullivan Out Says Moyes

242

This Means Warnock

243

Carroll Heads Home Twice in 4-1 Defeat

244

My Hart Will Go On… Letting Goals In

245

Pea Shooter

246

Bungalow For Sale

247

Blood And Popcorn

248

1-2 Home Win Predicts Geographically Challenged Man

249

#WhoopieDoopieTime

250

Brush With Disaster

251

David Moyes' Claret and Blue Arny

252

Fiery Mayhem

253

Rob Phils In

254

Injury Lawyers 4 U

255

C'mon Phil The Moyes

256

Amoyesing Groyce

257

All Hail The Moyes'iah

258

Moyes in the black stuff

259

Moyes Я Us

260

Moyes Keeps Swinging

261

Moyes The Pity

262

Ayew 'Avin A Laugh?

263

Golden Showers, Golden Memories

264

Rice Hatrick Saves Bilic's Job, Imagines Man

265

Hart’s Not In It

266

A.C/Dicey

267

Best 11: Hart's Not In It

268

Little Pead Off

269

Arnautović 2nd Red Card Preview

270

Ayew Experienced?

271

"There is a Fire Drill"

272

Are You West Ham In Disguise?

273

37 Games To Save Our Season

274

Hammers Crush Red Devils Predicts Idiot

275

Hip Hip Hooray

276

Wagner Wagner What's The Score?

277

Least Worst Hammertime of The Year

278

Safety Announcement

279

You say Lukaku, I say Masuaku

280

Hammers Stumble In Relegation Push

281

WHU Poetry Smackdown

282

Relegation Disaster Special

283

We’re Not West Ham Anymore?

284

Men of Men of Iron

285

Trump at right wing back

286

We Love You big tits

287

Andy Carrolls Communist Witchhunt

288

Carrollzinger

E
289

Mike Dean, Schrodinger’s prat

290

Wantaway Post - I Want Champions League

E
291

Simply The Best

292

You Lose Some You Lose Some

E
293

It’s all up for grabs

E
294

Lukaku, the case for Brexit

E
295

Wilkonnen, Bien Venue, Welcome Chelsea Brexiters

296

Respect The Point Says Ex-England Manager

E
297

Hog Roast United PLC

298

The Hateful 8 (goals Conceded)

299

Premature Evacuation

300

R.E.(Antoni).O Speedwagon

E
301

Stick It Up Your Sticker Book

E
302

Housewarming Party

E
303

The Smell On Joachim Low's Finger

E
304

The Green Street Grass of Home

305

Thick and Fast (Remastered Version)

306

Vive Le Laque Libre

E
307

WTF, LVG?

E
308

All Four Won and One For All

E
309

Help Me Obiang, You're Our Only Hope

E
310

Danger UX-Knee

E
311

The Alex Song Spectacu-lacular

E
312

The Hateable Eight West Hams Unbeaten Run

E
313

Pre-Boxing Day Post Xmas Day Special

314

Christmas At Sullivan Towers

E
315

Swansea v West Ham Preview

316

The Turner Prize

E
317

Stoke Preview

E
318

Westfield of Dreams

E
319

Oh, Oh Antonio

320

Mr Boombastic

E
321

McCarthy Hate Campaign Day One

E
322

Gilbert and David Sullivan

E
323

Billy Ray Cyrus West Ham Legend

324

Money Back Mancs and More

325

May The Fourth Be With You

326

Canary Saves Pigeon Warewolf Looks On

E
327

Argon: As Good For You Today As Its Always Been

E
328

Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong

E
329

Jim Grant Farewell Old Friend

E
330

Croatian Run Down Chart 2

E
331

Fiery Madness

E
332

All Croatian Music Explained

333

The Phil Parkes Special - LIVE!

E
334

Farewell Sam, Hello Success

E
335

Xanadon't

E
336

The Winger Time Forgot

E
337

Bar Mitzvah Boy

E
338

Pride of Irons

339

Sam’s Three Steps To Kevin

340

The George Parris Special

341

Airmiles For Parris

342

Big Sam’s Positions Of Maximum Orgasm

343

Live.WestHamPodcast.com

344

Go Fourth And Multiply

345

Mrs Noble, We Love You

346

Definitely Maybe Not

347

Can You Feel The Fourth

348

Diamond Geezers

349

Power-dressing, In Love With Kouyate

350

Alex Song’s Helmet Pelmet

351

Gordon's Dad or Valencia

352

Horlicks, Cocoa, Vodka

353

#BringMohamedSalahHome

354

Carlton Cole’s Self-Controlling Balls

355

The Chimp Paradox Sponsored By KFC

356

We've All Bitten Someone

357

ENGLAND SPECIAL! Penalties Preview

358

It’ll Go To Penalties Episode 2

359

Never Write Off The Germans - World Cup 2014 Preview

360

World Cup 2014 Preview

361

Sack It and See

362

The Julian Dicks Special

363

We Don’t Know What You’re Doing

364

A Mexican Yawn

365

Abseiling Down Bobby Moore

366

Sing When We're Losing

367

Boo When We're Winning

368

Lazy Susanne

369

Back in The Game

370

Stand Up If You’re Standing Up

371

12 Years A Squad Player

372

I Don't Want To Go To Chelsea

373

Licked By A Police Horse

374

Krissmas Cheer

375

Andy Carroll: The Long Walk To Freedom

376

Snowed Off

377

No Score Draws – The New Wins

378

There's Only One Peter Osgood

379

Vaz Te For England

380

Bag of Ravel's

381

West Ham Cock Quiz

382

6 Shots And Counting

383

Scared of Flair

384

Stealing The Back Post

385

Giggity Giggity Goal!

386

Not Wading but Downing

387

End of Season Wrap Party

388

Deconstructing Harry

389

Don Perretta Bathes With the Lobsters

390

Gary O'Neil the Hoarse Whisperer

391

A Horse with No Name

392

Jim Loves Ginger Nuts

393

Is that your Vinyl Answer?

394

Height = Goal, Live!

395

Sport's Game – England's Favourite Pastime

396

Di Canio's Italian Job

397

Bobby Moore's Claret and Blue Army

398

The Double Don One With Sam

399

Arsenal Away: The Silence of the Fans

400

Plethora of Ricketts

401

Wanted: New Song for Carlton Cole

402

Stand Up, Sit Down, Make Some Noise!

403

Apollo 13 - West Ham 0

404

Theres A Place For That Blue Flag

405

Pie Cast Of Peace

406

The Victor Obinna Memorial Shot

407

The Pete Townshend Defence

408

BanterGeddon

409

Like Having Sex With Madonna

410

Jim Fixed it... For Jim

411

Pathological Conservatism

412

West Ham Enjoy It Up The Rs

413

The Race to League Zero

414

Autumn Almana

415

Akabusi, 36DD

416

The Camp Cockney Lexicon

417

#DiameFacts

418

West Ham Olympic

419

Never Write Off The Germans Episode 5 with Sam Delaney

420

Never Write Off The Germans Episode 2 with Phil Whelans

421

Bronze Medal Winners

422

Quim and Ale (the LIVE podcast pt2)

423

The Kinghts of the Platinum Temple

424

That Bloody Horse

425

Play Off Special

426

Night of a Thousand Hammers

427

Put Your Foot in the Air Like You Just Don’t Care

428

Stand Up If You’re Delusional

429

Vaz Te, one ball heading Mofo!

430

Comedy of Errors

431

Balls Half Out

432

Badly Drawn, Boys.

433

We Need To Talk About Kevin

434

Boos Cruise

435

Hammertime Confidential

436

Valentines Day Massacre?

437

Ravel Smashes Transfer Window

438

How much is that donkey in the window?

439

Vomitorium

440

Pete s Radio Mini Break

441

GPS Killed the Physio Star

442

Sign The Cat

443

Balloony Cross, Whipped Cross and Shanks

444

Big In Eastern Bratislava

445

Back To The Future

446

Get Me a Tick Tick

447

Fat Sam's at the wheel

448

A Ward Evening

449

Second Heaven-shire

450

Papa Bouba Diop's Head Explained

451

Steve Lomassive Attack

452

It's A Family Affair

453

Taking the Ball in Your Nuts

454

Four Four Two Is Always Hiding

455

Aerial Ping Pong

456

Rocket Man

457

Mr Moon Has Left The Stadium

458

Scott Free (or nearest offer)

459

Transfer Window Smashed By Looters

460

We Are Staying Up!

461

Allardyce Out! The Arguments Explained

462

Bolton Olympic: The New West Ham?

463

Phone Hacking Scandal Reaches E13 (it's THAT compilation show)

464

24 May 11 - Bacon Bites

465

17 May 11 - We'll fight 'til the end... of the Gala Dinner

466

09 May 11 - A Letter From The Chairman

467

27 Apr 11 - Are We Newcastle In Disguise?

468

19 Apr 11 - The Championship Run In?

469

12 Apr 11 - Fight! Fight! Fight!

470

05 Apr 11 - David Sullivan Invented my Hamster

471

29 March 11 - 'I Am Legend' The Scott Parker Story

472

22 Mar 11 - Brush With Death

473

07 Mar 11 - Walking In A Cottee Wonderland

474

02 Mar 11 - If Football be the Food of Life...

475

22 Feb 11 - Hitzville UK!

476

14 Feb 11 - Say Hello To My Little Friend

477

07 Feb 11 - Scott Parker 0, Bus Parker 1

478

05 Feb 11 - WHU Let The Dog Out?

479

31 Jan 11 - Mad Dog And The Pussy

480

24 Jan 11 - Silence is Golden And Sullivanen

481

17 Jan 11 - Birmingham, Arsenal and Avram - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

482

10 Jan 11 - New Year Special!

483

20 Dec 10 - Avram's Stocking Fillers

484

13 Dec 10 - Boa Morte's Xmas Message

485

06 Dec 10 - Another Letter From Kovac

486

29 Nov 10 - GIANTKILLERS: Premiership Minnows Stun Wigan Galacticos

487

15 Nov 10 - At Last Three Points! (From Three Matches)

488

08 Nov 10 - I've got a bad case of the Farmers...

489

02 Nov 10 - West Ham beat Arsenal in thrilling parallel-universe clash

490

25 Oct 10 - Lars Attacks and the Behrami of Darkness

491

18 Oct 10 - Dog Boy, Hamburglar And The Inferminator

492

04 Oct 10 - Top 4 Finish Now In Doubt-OFFICIAL

493

27 Sep 10 - Victor Obinna in Triumphant Farewell Game

494

21 Sep 10 - 1-1 Victory Celebration Special

495

31st Aug 10 - Does Your Agent Know You're Here? (The transfer window opened and closed)

496

23rd Aug 10 - Two Down, Only Thirty Six to Go