All Episodes

Floridaman woke up to a burglar touching his crotch and urinating on him. Floridaman teacher arrested for taping child's mouth shut.

Please don't fire your canons, town urges citizens. New billboard warns criminals that firing squads are legal.

Bigfoot believers and skeptics clash over wave of recent sightings. All you can eat restaurant introduces a "vomit fee ".

New trend of enlarging your testicles is addictive and fun? Man pulled a car with his penis while also on fire.

Florida woman found up a tree dressed as a squirrel attacked police with acorns. Woman ran over ducklings with a Honda for pooping in her yard.

Thousands of citizens disappear each year on purpose in Japan. Mexico City is sinking so fast it can be seen from space.

The first Sperm Racing World Cup is coming to San Francisco. Why are birds more afraid of women than men?

Man makes love to a trash bin before eating out of it. Ramen loving grandma is buried with her favorite cup of noodles.

Man brings his dead sister's skeleton to a bank to withdraw money. New Christian cell network will block naughty stuff and gender content.

Floridaman Taco Bell employee shoots customers that put soda in water cup. Looks like Sloth World in Florida ain't happenin' cuz all the sloths died.

140 chickens died after a wedding DJ decided to crank up the base. Woman brought her dead husband back as a hologram to answer a Q&A at his own funeral.

Woman unleashed swarm of bees on the police during an eviction. Woman throws dynamite at sleeping boyfriend and blows off his hand.

22 Buddhist monks busted smuggling drugs at the airport. Price of condoms going up as the war strangles condom supply chain.

Floridaman tried to trade an alligator for tacos at the drive-thru. Florida teacher twerked in front of the class again.

Japanese man jailed for spoiling Godzilla movie. Fighter jets in Korea collide because pilots took selfies.

Drinking cow pee is required at this Indian temple. Cocaine in the rivers is getting salmon very high.

Arson suspect arrived at police interview with burnt eyebrows. Animal Rights Activist rescues and releases restaurant lobster back into the sea.

Titanic museum floods on the anniversary of ships sinking. Japan government pays citizens to use Tinder dating app.

Florida woman arrested for twerking for tips at 7-11. Floridaman "gets horny", drove around exposing himself in boss's van.

Genital disappearance scam leads to 10 men arrested. Cocaine hippos in Columbia will be put down.

Pretending to be gay is a popular way to stay in the UK (this rhymes). Amazon employee annoyingly dies while working.

Man in cow costume stabs family members. GLP-1 users report new side effect: DIVORCE!

Come get this sausage! (from a vending machine?). US wants to hire gamers as air traffic controllers.

Florida woman wrestles a manatee in a bikini at a park. Floridaman goes to job interview, leaves with assault charges.

Instead of baptizing, a pastor drowns a grown man in a kiddie pool. Lady bashed relative in head with hammer for stealing her brother's ashes.

Giant Phallus Festival in Japan hits hard. Banana bandits stole 96 bananas from a gas station.

Is the Boston accent disappearing? "Lonely Death Epidemic" is affecting old Japanese men.

Family finds a skull while hunting for Easter eggs. Lady stabs another lady that was living in a chicken coop with her father.

Florida woman burns down husband's home to rekindle relationship. Floridaman drunk drove onto airport runway, tries to steal two planes.

Scientists create 5 psychedelic drugs from single tobacco plant. Bob Marley's deadlock up for auction.

Powerball lottery winner arrested for robbing a home. Chocolate bars recalled for being spike with viagra.

Mother slept with twin brothers - who's child is this? World's largest vampire theme park planned in Romania.

Thieves steal 12 tons of KitKat bars right before Easter. Customized bong built into a dashboard of man's truck leads to arrest.

Florida woman urinated on furniture and appliances in multiple Airbnb's. Florida man has Rolex stolen by hooker with "Dream Girl" neck tattoo.

Professor proposes to student in the middle of class and receives a beat down by students. Philly breaks world record for longest cheesesteak(s).

Stalker broke into a home and sucked on a woman's toes. Boner Bear Honey ED syrup banned from gas stations.

Quadruple amputee professional cornhole player shot a man while driving. Russian women who don't want kids will be sent to psychologist.

Father and son banned from donating sperm after fathering 600 kids. Cocaine sharks thrive in the Bahamas.

Floridaman can still marry his cousin after marriage ban fails to pass. Florida woman refuses to leave her hospital bed 5 months after discharge.

Thief used Google Translate to rob a Peruvian restaurant. Hittler runs against Zielinski for mayor in France.

Study shows 19 million Americans think of shooting someone. Inject the fat of a dead person into your face or your chest, it's cool.

Deaf woman removed from plan for "not listening". Tourist sues NYC taqueria for salsa being too spicy.

Man falls into a hole with a bear inside. Kickboxer pulls a car using his testicles.

Floridaman prisoner escapes to have sex in a Porta Potty. Did a Floridaman really get kidnapped by dolphins?

Man caught smuggling 2,000 queen ants in his pants. Stoners buy cookies, the Girl Scouts learn.

Braindead woman wakes up when her ambulance hits a pothole. "Literally Anybody Else" is running for mayor in Texas.

Testical covers are banned from saunas in Japan. Flamingos kidnapped at the Flamingo Hotel in Vegas.

Floridaman throws cremated ashes onto the NASCAR racetrack. Floridaman does other Floridaman things.

Smoking crack helped him quit heroin, says Billy Idol. Old male whales are better at mating because they're better at singing.

Woman declared dead 4 times by government since 2017. Polymarket no longer allows betting on nuclear armageddon.

Lady arrested for singing a remix of the national anthem at karaoke. Scientists created popcorn flavored tomatoes.

Man claims world's smallest penis and is accepting challengers (with pics). Illinois will vote on Italian Beef as official state sandwich.

Floridaman stabbed for denying sex to trans woman because she isn't Jewish. Floridaman killed trying to invade cuba with his 9 drinking buddies..

Mr. Clean retires after 68 years. Food robot rebellion begins! Dunkin' tests 48oz bucket of coffee.

Man arrested after serving alcohol to a hawk. New York Snowflakes hospitalized after being hit with snowballs.

Man trained his dog to illegally dump his garbage on the street. Man sneaks into woman's apartment to AXE her out.

Man has sex with a dead deer on the highway, arrested. Hospital calls exorcist after staff report seeing ghosts.

Pickleball brawl involving 20 players leads to Florida couple's arrest. Floridaman urinates on boss's desk and in the chili?

Family took dead relative to the bank as proof they're dead. Pro hockey team sent letter to their smelly fans asking them to shower before games.

Judge rules "boneless wings" can still be called "wings". Fart tracking underwear developed to track gut health.

Facebook will keep posting for you even after you're dead. Food influencer dies after eating the toxic Devil Crab.

Woman faked a snake transformation to avoid arranged marriage. Olympic athletes used the 10,000 free condoms in only 3 days.

Florida woman's happy endings lead to her unhappy arrest. Floridamen turn frozen iguanas into pizza and tacos.

Chicken place smells too much like chicken, says landlord. Pokemon Go removes Epstein Island Pokestop from the game.

Olympian wins a medal, then tells the world he cheated on his girlfriend. Murder twins in France complicate the trial because of similar DNA.

Gen Z texts and checks social media during sex, study shows. Coffee shop secretly operated as a strip club.

Governor suggests importing women to help make more babies. Man arrested again for seeking non-consensual diaper changes.

Florida woman nurse twerks on disabled patients at a rehab. Floridaman throws away $4k worth of meat after finding girlfriend cooking with another man.

Man broke into Little Caesar's Pizza, made and sold pizzas. Man, high on meth, stole two planes without a pilot's license.

Man blowtorches his roof to melt ice, home catches fire. Lady causes car crashes after removing traffic mirror for better Feng-Shui.

WWI bomb inside man's rectum leads to hospital evacuation. Bar offers free drinks to customers who want to quit their job.

Dumb politicians claim "fake" snow conspiracy. New York city will hire a night mayor to improve night time fun.

Floridaman fornicated with a vacuum cleaner in the street. Florida teen attacks her mom with a porkchop.

Man amputates his own foot to get into medical school. "Spy-Nuns" are working for Russian military out of European churches.

Mushrooms that make you hallucinate little people are served at restaurants? Fans of jazz music are cheaters, new study claims.

Flesh eating flies are eating their way toward the US. PETA hates that a groundhog is lifted in the air once a year.

Florida woman orders a Lyft ride and steals the driver's car. Floridaman attacked man with a ketchup packet.

Ankle monitor found on a dog, criminal on the run. Eat famous serial killers' last meals served at this restaurant.

Ski jumpers accused of injecting acid into their genitals. Korea legalizes tattooing after 33 year ban.

Hotel room on the Moon will cost you $10 million. Study shows smelling farts is good for brain health.

Florida woman defecates at the police in order to escape arrest.Florida woman on crack goes on the attack with a skillet and collard greens.

American dad wakes up speaking Spanish fluently after each surgery. Insecticide company holds memorial services for bugs they kill.

"But she just died!" Man and dead wife tried to board a flight. Man hospitalized after sticking a live leech you know where.

Couple used ChatGPT for wedding vows and it was annulled. 100 skulls and historical bones found at a man's home.

"Are you dead yet?" is most popular app in China. Several monkeys are on the loose in St. Louis.

Naked Floridaman robs a meat market. Salvation Army bellringer tried to impale store manager with donation tripod.

Naked mermaid arrested in her neighbor's private pond. Beloved walrus penis stolen from a Jersey bar.

Stop selling butt toys to Bahrain, US government says. Hundreds gathered to watch a live kick in the groin.

Man offers to remove your squatters with a grenade and samurai sword. Hundreds tricked into attending fake NYE fireworks display.

Best of Floridaman (and woman) - 2025

Best of 2025 - Most Funny and Weird Stories of the Year

Lady married Chatbot which is a German video game character. Passenger finds a man hiding in the Waymo trunk.

Weird items removed from people's orifices in 2025. Hire a robot DJ or ring bearer for your wedding!

Boy was sexting Whitney Houston and Marilyn Monroe chatbots, so mom sues. Hundreds of Victorian era shoes wash up on a beach in Wales.

Lady was already dead when she was wheeled onto a flight. Scientist smuggles bacteria into US inside women's panties.

School puts kids in a "Time Out" box as punishment. Hundreds attend a mock funeral for the penny in DC.

Floridaman shot his son in the face for not visiting his sick mother on weekends. Doctor walked into a Dollar Store freezer and died overnight.

Three Santas and 40 elves rob a grocery store. kicked by a camel during Christmas performance inside Church.

Kids must wear helmets to play in the show at schools in Canada. Police don't find the free sidewalk marijuana for Christmas very jolly.

Sex toy shoplifter threatens man with leg of lamb then robs a public bus. Woman sues IRS to get her dog classified as a "dependent".

Viagra for women finally hits the shelves. Denny's launches maple syrup filled sneakers.

Floridaman claims he was teleported into stolen BMW by aliens. Florida woman assaults another with chicken, but which kind?

Drunk riding a bike? Lose your driving license in Japan. Trade your goose for store credit at Gamestop?

Taliban arrests men for dressing up like Peaky Blinders characters. Brazilian lioness receives a Uber Eats human meal at the zoo.

Canadian man arrested for assault with a snowblower. Have you tried the pumpkin seed rectal challenge?

Sperm racing is growing on college campuses. Women in Latvia are hiring hourly husbands cuz of man shortage.

Afternoon group sex in a Winn Dixie parking lot leads to arrest of Floridaman. Man broke into home, sprayed bbq sauce on walls and then lit a fire.

Flat Earthers! Prove it and win a sports company. Police monitor bowel movements after thief swallows $19k Faberge egg.

Raccoon bites man in the face while driving to the nature center. China will tax condoms to boost birth rate.

HR director drugged female job applicants to make them urinate during their interviews. Influencer gave free machetes and alcohol to the homeless.

When Batman is around, the public behaves: New study. Fart Walking after Thanksgiving is good for you, say doctors.

Floridaman claims a cockroach told him to kill a couple guys. Florida will allow bear hunting for first time in a decade.

Adolf Hitler is about to win an election in Africa? Don't brine your turkey in the Great Salt Lake, is an actual warning in Utah.

Man dressed as his dead mom to go collect her pension. Lady found alive in a coffin right before cremation.

Two Texas boys plot to invade Haiti and enslave the women and children. Man flashed his genitals on the highway because he needed excitement.

Florida woman squeezed boyfriend's privates until there was blood. Floridaman stole forklift to steal an ATM.

AI teddy bear taught kids about BDSM and where to find knives. South Korea bans flights, halts military for a single college entrance test.

Stolen driveway leaves a woman scared and confused. Holocaust artifact auction canceled after backlash.

Passenger brought a meat cleaver on a flight. Prisoner sues for the right to eat Vegemite.

Controversial cafe offers cuddling with baby lions while drinking tea. Meet Germany's first flock of gay sheep.

Floridaman shoots son over heavy metal music. Naked Florida woman breaks into bagel shop for a shower.

A killer will be playing Santa at the local swap meet. Man steals a bus with passengers on it and makes all the stops.

Pornography accidentally shown to kids on a public ferry. Smell animal butts at new exhibit in a Japan aquarium.

Starbucks Bearista cup is worth losing your teeth for this holiday season. Target orders employees to smile at customers to boost sales.

Balls Out Bowling is back, where bowling naked is required. Enter a lottery to be buried next to Jim Morrison?

Floridaman fires his gun over argument on how many eggs chickens lay. Man threatens to shoot police if they don't let his wife out of jail.

Nurse murdered his patients to get longer smoke breaks. Hot Ice Cream is a new stupid dessert we don't need.

Death letters mailed to 500 living patients by medical facility. Murder hornets kill a family while ziplining..

Man shot neighbor because he thought her horse was too fat. Man wearing a Speedo breaks into 911 call center, attacks dispatch.

Woman was delivered human arms and fingers in a delivery mix-up. School wants to ban animal ears and tails over furry fears.

Florida teacher gets high in class and offers her vape to her students. Woman hit in the face by a duck on a rollercoaster.

Walking speed limits for pedestrians introduced in Slovakia. Lady arrested after smoking crack while on oxygen at the hospital.

Aggressive laboratory monkeys with herpes on the loose. Japan sends in the troops to help stop bear attacks.

Lonely bear breaks into a zoo to visit the other bears. Couple seeks divorce because their pets can't get along.

Deaf woman hit by an airplane while walking her dog in a park. Boob jobs are shrinking as ballerina breasts become popular.

Floridaman arrested for stealing recipes from a restaurant. Floridaman threatens to stab neighbor and eat her dog.

Butt Breathing has been declared safe for humans. Many Americans will become obese overnight without gaining a pound.

Elderly man fakes his death to see who would come to his funeral. Customers suing sneaker company because of loud squeaks.

Mosquitoes discovered in Iceland for first time ever. Restaurant called Whitexicans caused offense and trauma.

Watch an ad, get some toilet paper at these dystopian toilets. City bans black cat adoptions ahead of Halloween.

Floridaman keeps prostitute, punches father. Floridaman attacks strip club manager with a cheeseburger.

An island has over 1 million cats and it's a problem. African lawmaker killed when his car hits an elephant.

Dozens of mystery sex toys wash up on beach in Scotland. Mother livestreams her childbirth on Twitch to tens of thousands.

There's a marathon where racers must eat Taco Bell along the route. Catholic church's altar wine so popular people order it in local bars.

Florida woman dumps 75 used tampons on her ex's lawn. Floridaman caught with thermos inside his rectum while at jail.

Lady swallows 8 live frogs to cure back pain. Marijuana delivery carrier pigeons in NYC?

Airline will charge passengers to recline their seats. Tired single woman buys a billboard to find a husband.

Please stop sending AI videos of Robin Williams to his daughter. Halloween decorations of dead local officials got a man arrested.

Mail carrier for USPS shot in the face by Amazon delivery driver. Emergency naked bike ride protest organized in Portland.

Floridaman tried to post bail using an alligator he claims is also a lawyer. Floridaman kills and eats his own pet peacocks to spite a neighbor.

Teen shot after being mistaken for a squirrel by hunting buddy. Woman gives birth, then wins Mortal Kombat tourney while holding newborn.

Women's chests will be checked for illegal breast implants in North Korea. Dog owner kidnaps the man that ran over his dog, robs him.

Passengers eat their passports mid-flight. High School teacher fed a live kitten to the classroom snake.

Florida woman assaults man with a can of silly string. Floridaman caught with human skull and bones at Tampa airport.

Vicious squirrel attacks and hospitalizes town residents. Graveyard coffee truck banned from serving a hospital because of their "offensive" name.

Italian tourist city will tax all visiting dogs. Aspen will make improvement to their Glory Hole Park.

DoorDash driver alerts police of hostage situation after delivering kidnapping items. Teacher arrested for using fart spray on campus.

Jesus Take the Wheel songwriter dies in plane crash. The Rapture is tomorrow but do NOT sell your house.

Floridaman shots roommate for not bringing drugs to the football party. Floridaman in scuba diving outfit robs a restaurant, swims away.

Psycho tunnels into his upstairs neighbor's apartment after disagreements. Drug dog visits school, drug dog sniffs teacher, drug dog finds drugs.

Man urinates on customers during movie screening of Demon Slayer. Court rules that digital avatars have feelings and can be compensated.

Cheating scandal rocks world rock skimming championships. Airline bans flight crew members from drinking coffee.

Emotional support alligator no longer allowed in Walmart. Fed up nuns escaped their crappy retirement facility.

Floridaman was refused a foot smell, hits woman with his car. Florida woman squeezed her brother's privates and choked her mom over a Playstation..

College kids skinned a dead bear in their dormitory. Cruise ship passenger jumps overboard to avoid his gambling debts.

Doctor amputated his own legs for the excitement. Kentucky man stabbed his brother in the genitals and we don't know why.

Teen girls being used as hitwomen in organized crime wars. Elderly woman tricked by romance scammer pretending to be astronaut.

Floridaman with no arms stabs a tourist. Floridaman calls 911 to report cocaine in his butt.

Influencer sells her hot farts for big money. Singer poisons bandmate with hormones to steal his girl.

Beachgoers brave poop water over labor day weekend. Woman give birth to a Raver Jesus baby at Burning Man.

Florida woman toilet papers neighbor's car while wearing hotdog costume. Florida fake dentist used Krazy glue on customers' teeth.

Customer lights himself on fire after his flight is canceled. Dead lady nominated for mayoral candidate in UK.

Orgy Dome destroyed after too much blowing at Burning Man. Beef Bandit arrested with all the beef in his pants.

Radioactive shrimp from Walmart may give you super powers. Old man sets fire to his care home after denied date with his girlfriend.

Teen girl sold her boyfriend to a telecom slave compound. Flight attendant found naked on drugs in the bathroom mid-flight.

Floridaman sprayed disabled children with sprinklers as they got off the school bus. Floridaman arrested for flying a meth-drone into someone's home.

School is canceled after catalytic converters were stolen off the buses. Naked man wearing a gimp mask is prowling a neighborhood.

NFL team hires male cheerleaders to the disgust of certain people. Missing Texas woman found living with a lost African tribe in Scotland.

Their son's brain was put in a box and handed to them, family sues funeral home. You can now sell tickets to your wedding to strangers.

Poop suitcase keeps Putin's poo top secret, but who carries it? Supermarket offers insultingly small reward for reporting shoplifters.

Florida woman exposes herself at a Waffle House, licks manager's face. Florida teacher drunk drives into a fence between classes.

Pacifiers for adults are a new trend. Woman's legendary diarrhea leads to canceled flights.

Diaper-wearing man asks young girl on a bicycle to change it. Bermuda Triangle is not underwater aliens after all.

Woman marries a chatbot after dating for 5 months. Starbucks Korea asks customers to not bring printers to the cafes.

Flesh eating flies and deadly hybrid fire ants. Will the insects be the death of us?

Florida woman posed as a nurse, treated 4,000 patients without license. Floridaman beats up a golfer over slow play.

Man makes love to a refrigerator in Trader Joe's, threatens to stab everyone. Snails on crystal meth have sharp memories, according to science.

Fake doctor did testicular ultra sounds on runners in his apartment. Teacher in Japan fired after caught having a second part time job.

Woman died on a bus with 26 iPhones glued to her body. Man stabs sandwich makers 4 years after making him wrong sandwich.

Zoo asks public to donate their dying pets to feed the predators. Bat flies into a woman's mouth while on vacation.

Kids watch in horror as Chuck E. Cheese mascot arrested for fraud. Robotic bunnies deployed in Florida to help fight invasive pythons.

Radioactive wasps discovered at a nuclear facility. Sex toy thrown onto the basketball court at a WNBA game.

Tourists call police over hired escort's small breasts. Sharks are eating too much fish and the government is getting involved.

Toddler bites cobra to death. Penis fillers and genital botox are very risky, warn doctors.

Serial butt sniffer arrested again for you know what. Petition to rename an airport after Ozzy Osbourne.

Floridaman threatens to kill everyone on the Epstein list. Florida woman welcomed tourists with pepper spray and hotel thievery.

Police arrest a man operating a fake embassy in India. Woman claims the Blue Angels military jets killed her cat with their noise.

Nazi hikers are permitted to camp in the Swiss Alps. Doctors played musical bingo during a deadly surgery.

Swingathon, the largest swingers festival comes to the UK. Man was sucked into an MRI machine by the chain around his neck.

Choking pornography will be banned in the UK. Man chugs Tabasco sauce, challenges everyone to fight in a parking lot.

Floridaman with stolen motorcycle and meth hidden in his anal cavity. Florida woman bear maced a driver that ran over a chicken.

Dating app for Disney adults launches. Soccer star in trouble after hiring dwarves for his birthday party.

Nick Cannon (12 kids/6 different women) launches a relationship advice podcast. 114 year old marathon runner dies after being hit by a car while running.

Mother makes bomb threat to stop her married son from taking flight with his girlfriend. Naked American man found partying in the sewers of Bangkok.

Chimps are putting sticks in their butts to look cool, study says. Elmo's X account was hacked and the result: very offensive Elmo.

Floridaman smokes meth and steals train on his birthday. After getting botox in a backyard shed, Florida woman's face is paralyzed.

Dead body found in a Goodwill donation bin. Billboards offering to buy your crack house seem insulting.

New Barbie Doll with Type 1 Diabetes. Belly dancer arrested for being "too seductive".

Bees attack a whole town in France. Politicians in Spain not allowed to pay for happy endings.

Floridaman threw spaghetti at his mother because she had demons in her head. Floridaman broke into stranger's home to avoid his angry wife.

Teacher got drunk and made students dance the Macarena. Chuck E. Cheese is opening arcades for adults.

Travelers with swamp crotch keep setting off TSA alarms. Stop sending unsolicited urine samples, asks a medical facility.

Monk shoots a cleric over loud cell phone use in a monastery. Thousands of Norwegians told they won millions in lottery error.

Cocaine use is at all time highs but why? Americans arrested for sending Bibles and rice into North Korea.

Floridaman drove his Tesla into a restaurant to charge it. 74 year old Floridaman with a shotgun stole a fire truck.

Visit a North Korean beach resort and hope you can come home. Beekeeper unleashed his bees on police officers during traffic stop.

Best place to have herpes is New Zealand according to their commercial. Scotland may have the most alcoholics according to new data.

Hotel no longer allowing panda bears waking up their guests. 145 syringe prickings at a French music festival.

Pole dancers hired by parents for son's jr. high graduation. Hetero Awesome Festival in Idaho is not so awesome after all.

Floridaman pees on $10k worth of Spam in a Sam's Club. Floridman pulls a gun after argument over mangos.

No bra, no exam. University does bra checks before a test. Fake dentist did root canals using online tutorials.

Shark falls from the sky onto a disco golf course. You can now buy Ozzy Osbourne's DNA in a can.

Male escort is left $1M in widow's will and family fights it. Influencers flock to Air India crash site for selfies.

Rollercoaster riders warned to keep mouths closed because of giant bugs. Half the popular of Dhana is in the Drunkard Association.

Naked Floridaman at the gas station pumping his pump. Floridaman called 911 for not getting real "service" at a strip club.

Brazilian comedian jailed for jokes about race, weight and gender. Politician removes his clothes, invites citizens on a nude beach trip.

Drunk mule-riding Kentucky man unleashed a raccoon inside a bar. Orgasmic meditation cult leaders in trouble for being too culty.

Woman sent 2,000 lbs of onions to her ex boyfriend to make him cry. Church apologizes for the naked chicken dancing show.

You can't use your Costco card as your ID, TSA anounces. Protests over goldfish races?

Florida woman sprays bear mace at children blowing bubbles. Floridaman gets down with himself at a bus stop, claims he's Capt. Kirk.

200 year old erotic artsy condom goes on display in a museum. Fried chicken flavored toothpaste is a disgusting hit.

AI scam company was 700 Indians pretending to be Chatbots. Mom attacked school principal after daughter caught fighting.

Flight attendant dances naked mid-flight after taking drugs. New mom wins a marathon despite breast feeding along the way.

Floridaman on meth fights gators, attacks police with garden shears. Floridaman claimed he's Jesus, kissed a minor in a locker room.

Hikers, high on mushrooms, thought friend was dead and called 911. Dutch accuse Belgians of stealing all their wind.

Final Destination for one woman was a ceiling landing on her during screening. 24 yeard old impersonated a high school student for over a year.

Young American men are joining the Russian Church of "Manliness". Amazon tribe learns about lawsuits by suing.

Man woke up to find a cargo ship beached in his back yard. Scientists tortured guinea pigs with Adele's music for several days.

Florida mail carrier arrested for drunk driving her delivery route. Floridaman shot his neighbor's cow 5 times.

First-ever Oscar Mayer Wienermobile race. OnlyFans model slept with 583 men in 6 hours.

Every dog gets one bite, court rules. The competition to see who's best at doing absolutely nothing.

Study shows why serial killers are so attractive. Emotional support Alpaca not allowed inside supermarket.

Kindergarten student brought jello shots to class. Student brought a hand grenade to show and tell.

Florida woman attacks her wife with cheesy nachos. Lady attacks her neighbor with 10 lb bef stick at Walmart.

Police find naked man with Vaseline in a Lowe’s display shed. Airline serves white wine to a 3 year old.

Chimps wipe their butts after sex, study finds. United Arab Emirates first nation to use AI to write laws.

Man with STDs infects coworkers after urinating into water cooler. Exploding birds plague a California neighbrhood.

Chess is banned in Afghanistan due to powerful Queen. You must be over 21 years old to dine inside this McDonald's.

Floridaman gored by a Bison in Yellowstone Park. Florida woman urinates on a man after stabbing and robbing him.

Mother brought Jell-O shots to a 5th grade class party. Woman spent thousands to turn into a cat.

Raccoon caught with a meth pipe in the driver's seat. Tourist impales himself on a spike at the Colosseum.

Men are shaving their eyelashes to look more masculine. Hairless robots are taking our fast food jobs.

Man sets fire to his own home twice in same night to watch firefighters work. Man lets snakes bit him 200 times for science.

Floridaman touched lady realtors' feet at open house showings multiple times. Floridaman arrested for having three wives.

Luigi Mangiano: The Musical? Town burns all the confiscated weed, gets all the locals high.

High school student performs DIY exorcism on his math teacher. Runaway kangaroo shuts down entire highway.

Passenger strips naked and poops on the seat on flight. Radio station used an AI host for months and nobody knew.

Helpful man hides marijuana Easter eggs all over town. Selfies with the Pope's body causes outrage.

Florida woman poses as ICE, kidnaps ex's new wife. Floridaman claims he's Jesus, attacks his Holy Father.

Defeat the Cartel with songs, urges Meixico's President. White supremacists put messages inside Easter Eggs.

Crucifixion reenactment gone wrong as 84 year old man falls from cross. Ant smuggling is the new wildlife trafficking trend.

First Chipotle in Mexico will soon open. Texas school bans state flag because of breast drawing.

Burning sex toys cause 3-alarm fire damaging homes. Man sinks in quicksand and emerges with a girlfriend.

Florida women arrested for selling human bones on Facebook. Floridaman named "Cocaine" attacked Subway workers with a knife.

Crosswalks hacked to play funny Elon Musk and Jeff Bozo messages. Police invite the public to get high at the station, they'll provide snacks.

Boyfriend sent bomb threat to his own girlfriend's cruise. Man made love to a corpse on NYC subway.

Sperm Racing is coming to Los Angeles. Teacher gave students cannabis gummies.

Cowboys ride "emotional support" horses through Walmart. China warns lightweight people stay indoors or be blown away by winds.

Florida principal called student "Sexy Chocolate" as he rubbed her feet. Floridaman denied job interview, throws his urine.

Murder prediction technology will identify future killers. Bio company brings back the extinct Dire Wolf.

Foster mom traded a human child for a monkey. NASA asks for help recycling bags of moon poop.

Man's 7 "emotional support" tigers were seized from his home. Ninja sword ban begins in the UK.

Swastika-tattooed penis pic shared by a doctor leads to a fine. Church hosts pro wrestling matches to attract members.

Florida enjoys vandalizing Tesla's. Floridaman gets violent after children refuse refills at a lemonaide stand.

Monster that lives under a child's bed turns out to be real. Small town attempts to break the world kazoo record.

OnlyFans sued when guys realize they're talking to Indian men instead of models. Poor sleep leads to conspiracy theory thinking.

Truck Nuts and exposed breasts are a crime in Idaho. Amish buggies are being robbed at gunpoint.

White lady who identifies as black plans to move to Africa. Top sperm bank suffers embarrassing leak.

Floridaman wanks in front of banks. Florida flight attendant attacks with a beer bottle.

Man operates on himself using Youtube surgery tutorial. $6 million solid gold toilet thieves found.

Teen sisters tried to stab their mother for turning off WiFi. Fake Enrique Iglesias scammer gets woman to almost divorce her husband.

Show your ID to buy a sex toy online in Texas. Alien Abduction Day is your opportunity to get abducted.

Race horses on cocaine in Tasmania. Church groups no longer allowed to bribe children with candy.

Floridaman pulls out a gun and demands karaoke at the bar. Floridaman exposed his package to a mail carrier.

Down syndrome nudes are being sold online using AI. Church daycare shut down after toddlers given Benadryl to make them sleepy for nap time.

Woman operated illegal dentistry out of her home for eight years. Five men shut down intersection with serious twerking.

Viagra coffee gets you up in the morning. Men rob a Tennessee gas station using two pythons.

Woman tried to sell human toes vomited by dogs. Burnt genitals leads to man's $50 million win vs. Starbucks.

Florida woman attacks Floridaman with a Pringles can. Florida teacher arrested for making children fight.

Funeral home employee cut off dead man's penis after learning he was a sex offender. Toilet cloggings cause Air India flight to turn back.

Mrs. Soon Bang arrested for running a sex parlor. Mr. Weiner is naked when he steals cars and flees police.

Man is shot by his own dog while in bed with a woman. Man picks his nose, hits an artery, is hospitalized, wife laughs..

Man plays soccer with another man's decapitated head. Tourists in Dublin can't stop touching a statue's breasts.

Florida woman stabs boyfriend for not eating her cooking. Floridaman swallows $770k worth of jewelry after arrest.

Baby pigs left to starve to death as part of an art exhibit. Postal service will no longer deliver grandma's letters.

Funeral home's noodles are so good, diners pretend to be mourners. Movie theater has to pay mental agony damages for showing ads.

Man arrested for sex with subway seat a second time. Scientists create Woolly Mice instead of Woolly Mammoth.

No Measles Parties, please. Says health official. Influencer spent $140k to turn herself into a robot.

Floridaman bites deputy and police dog at a 7-11. Floridaman Games 2025: A celebration of athletic absurdity.

Child bites referee's testicle so soccer game's canceled. Man allows fiance to electrocute him for 3 hours as a pre-marital pain test.

Teacher sold "test enhancement" drugs to his students. Bird drops a severed human hand into a schoolyard.

Thousands of kids accused of witchcraft in past decade. TikTookers drop heavy objects on their feet in new viral trend.

Crypto trader killed himself to create a coin. Canadian coffeeshop changes Americano to Canadiano.

Florida woman attacks man with a garden hoe for not hanging out. Drunk Floridaman with no pants crashes into 7-11.

Students lights his inflatable girlfriend on fire in the dorms. Restaurant owner puts a bounty on a negative reviewer.

Porn dumpsters are leaving Japan. Court rules calling a man bald is sexual harassment.

Launching drugs into a prison using a canon gets two arrested. Science studies why hockey players sound Canadian.

Shark bites off both hands of a tourist during beach selfie. Bald men murdered for their gold heads?

Florida woman attacks with a dildo. Florida couple arrested for unnatural acts in Wendy's parking lot.

Should the US Treasury stop making pennies? Researchers find our ancestors ate the brains of their enemies.

Blind man given permit to carry a gun in Indiana. Zoo in China sells tiger urine to treat sprains.

Doctor gave his cat a Catscan and is in trouble for it. Denmark signs a petition to buy the state of California.

Man arrested for drunk driving a drone. Zoo offers elephant pooping videos to send your ex on Valentine's Day.

Florida teacher shows explicit pics of herself during show and tell. Floridaman barked like a dog inside an auto-parts store.

Cocaine should be legal and sold like wine, says Columbian President. 13 yr old boy impersonates a doctor at a hospital.

100,000 eggs stolen in the Great Egg Heist of 2025. Man shot his friend who claimed he could, "dodge" bullets.

Priest flossed his teeth with teenage girl's hair. Furries warned not to act racist against other species at Furry Convention.

Woman arrested for "Cyber Farting" at her partner's ex. Robot cockfighting proposed in Oklahoma.

Florida man sits on gun, shoots himself in penis. School principal hosts alcohol fueled party of 100 teens at her own home.

Twerking on disabled person's head leads to healthcare worker arrest. Man trashes a DMV with fishes.

Contraception Begins at Erection Act proposed by lawmaker. Flood Museum closed due to flooding.

Man's Bigfoot hunting expeditions used against him in court. Las Vegas ice cream truck mistaken for ICE vehicle.

Child goes blind from eating chicken nuggets. Mystery person drops off erotic novels in random mailboxes.

Floridaman exposed "abnormally large" testicles to a teen. Lady busted with drugs in bag labeled, "Def not a bag of drugs."

Drinkable mayonnaise launches in Japan. Cat makes three flights in 24 hours after being left on a plane.

Viagra Honey floods France and police say it's dangerous. Penguins are getting divorced in record numbers.

Adult film star offers LA firefighters some lovin' for their efforts. The Moon added to list of endangered cultural sites.

Lonely elderly women prefer jail than being outside in Japan. Aquarium cheers up lonely fish with cardboard humans.

Floridaman tried to have sex with a horse's nose. Florida lady stabs her hubby with a bladed cane on his birthday.

Woman got a side marijuana with her fries at Burger King. Man stole three amputated legs from a hospital and one is still missing.

Prosthetic penis pics get a soccer falconer fired. Pizzeria charges extra $125 for pineapple topping.

Government warns sex toys are a target for hackers. Fake Brad Pitt gets woman to divorce her millionaire husband.

Lady brings her sex toy into the MRI machine and horror ensues. Blind man shot his amputee body during eviction mission.

Florida woman poops on Dollar Store floor while man steals cleaning products. Man claims alien abduction during nude carjacking.

Getting sick is a crime in this Italian village. Falafel and shawarma are #1 again!

Man eaten alive after filming himself with lions to impress girlfriend. Belgium warns citizens not to eat their Christmas tree.

Hot dogs have been banned in North Korea. Windows are banned in Afghanistan. And I say, ban the bans!

Drunken officer freed prisoners to celebrate New Year. Teen poisoned her rival’s competition show goat.

Floridaman with "Alone" face tattoo commits some crimes alone. Florida is building roads using radioactive waste.

Best of Weird News 2024 - Part 2

Best of Weird News 2024 - Part 1

Baby bird found alive in dead man's stomach after fertility ritual. Mexico town thanks the drug cartel for holiday gifts.

Man poured whiskey into the holy water during Christmas Church Mass. Two men died in a forest looking for Sasquatch.

Florida pizza delivery woman stabs customer over bad tip. Florida woman takes revenge on her ex boyfriend's bong.

Lady arrested for practicing unlicensed dentistry out of her kitchen. Amazon driver leaves 80 holiday packages in woods.

Secret Chinese police station discovered in New York City. Scientists discover our ancestors: Giant Head People.

Emotional support Great Dane brought on plane. Killer caught dumping dead body on Google Maps Streetview.

Meth smoking Floridaman attacks his mattress in a jealous rage. Man arrested after getting 'a little naked' in a Lyft.

Sex workers in Zimbabwe use baby socks during condom shortage. Ten Commandments tablet is up for auction.

Hunter dies when a bear falls from a tree and lands on him. Police officer shoots himself to impress his girlfriend.

Don't eat the brown snow, one city warns residents. Russia sends elite super goats to N. Korea.

Cop dresses as a "Sex Wrestler" to catch a pervert. Demon stripper stabs the DJ, nearly killing him.

Did you buy crack from the Florida police in the 90's? Floridaman slaps his girlfriend in the face with a cheeseburger.

More Texas Vs. Sex Toys on the way. Whale swims 8,106 miles for some booty.

Police find garden gnome made entirely of MDMA. Italian nun arrested for working with the mafia.

Offensive term "offender" replaced with "justice impacted individual". AI Jesus is taking confessionals.

Pet crocodile dies after thrown into snow during an argument about anime. Barbarians took drugs with a spoon before battle.

Naked Floridaman with pot and sex toys in a school on Thanksgiving. Floridaman shoots neighbor over loud music.

Spanking women with a cow horn is part of a German holiday festival. Singer of YMCA song denies it's a gay anthem.

Sex workers in Belgium get benefits and a pension. Orcas are wearing dead salmon as hats but why?

Meth-soaked cow onesie on a flight leads to arrest of a smuggler. Mother arrested after child walks a mile from home.

Cocaine and chickens shut down a Wisconsin bar. Man sends sexy livestreamer $500k to call him "bro".

Floridaman knocks out roommate with a chair in dispute over feeding cats. Florida mom McShoots Florida daughter.

Drug dealers market "Woke Coke" as ethically sourced. Man discovers his wife is actually a cross-dressing man.

Mad scientists create the world's thinnest spaghetti but not to eat. Italian village offers $1 homes to sad Americans.

Idiot buys banana duct taped to a wall for $6million to eat it. Smuggler arrested with over 300 tarantulas taped to his belly.

Floridaman squirts mystery liquid on girls' butts at Ross Dress For Less. Man arrested for assaulting wife with spaghetti

Woman kidnaps boy, then abandons him after discovering his religion. Fisherman in Norway catches a US submarine.

Tourists fighting as gladiators in the Colosseum angers Romans. AI chatbot has a message for the humans, "Please die".

Family strangles brother with a rope for bringing home chicken. Cigarette smuggler crosses a river disguised as a water plant.

Men attack luxury cars in a bear costume for fake insurance scam. Australians asked to track their farts for science.

Human head found on a popular Florida beach. Floridaman stabs brother in neck for talking over his food.

Ban on women marrying after 25 and other weird Japan proposals. Police officer suspended after throwing away victim's skull.

Man declares himself Jesus and then beats up seven monks. Rage room bookings increase following Trump victory.

Wicked dolls mistakenly list adult film website on the box. Pope Francis keeps tweeting about the Saints NFL team accidentally.

North Korean troops get internet and can't stop touching themselves. 43 monkeys escaped a lab and I know where this leads.

Floridaman wanted sex on the beach, instead attacked with a hatchet. Floridaman arrested for punching a police horse.

Hackers demand French company pay ransom of $125k in baguettes. New home owner finds skeleton of old homeowner dead 15 years.

Naked drunk tourist covered in poo falls from balcony in Thailand. Ambulance runs over cyclist then bills him for services.

Famous squirrel seized and killed by local government. Oregon has sexy bats that win beauty contents regularly.

Cannabis joints given out during Halloween trick or treat. Thousands attend a fake invented Halloween parade.

Floridaman church burglar searched 'Where do church keep money'. Teen wields machete at elderly Democrats at polls.

Fire chief apologizes after Halloween party with KKK costumes. Hindu priest claimed could fly, dies falling off a mountain.

Women in China get calls from government asking if they pregnant. Vatican has a new anime girl mascot.

Snoop Dogg has a cannabis referee so you don't get too high. Farmer hog-ties two trespassers and drives them to police.

Pizzeria serves marijuana laced pies by mistake. Thieves steal 22 tons of cheese and that's no gouda!

Floridaman pulls a machete on son for forgetting his birthday. Man tried to cut off and eat a guy's toes for concert tickets.

Oral sex leads to throat cancer. French Bulldog dies on a plane because owner is a dummy.

Surfer dies after being impaled by swordfish. Police invite citizens to play Hide and Seek with their guns.

Man born with three penises in rare medical miracle. Police bust pizzeria with cocaine on the menu.

Floridaman in a bull onesie tried to burn down ex's home with pasta sauce. Lady escapes rehab, steals car, runs a man over twice.

Restaurant sorry for serving Nazi soldier actors. Court rules calling a man bald is sexual harassment

Crowd treated for nausea after opera with live sex and piercing. Cop calls cops after Burger King screws up order.

Woman smuggles turtles into Canada in a kayak. Majority of American houses are haunted according to survey.

Robot vacuums yell racial slurs at families after being hacked. Breakdancers risk getting Headspin Hole says doctors.

Floridaman with no legs refused to leave boat during hurricane. Meteorologists receive death threats over weather.

The bag that read, Definitely Not a Bag of Drugs, contained drugs. Spirit Halloween opening Spirit Christmas stores.

Burglar broke into a home and did household chores for the victim. Earth has a new mini moon friend.

Angry wife ate dead husband's ashes. Stolen sausages lead to a nursing home stabbing.

Need an AI Wingman for your gay dating app? Man steals ambulance to drive to court for stolen car charges.

Florida woman bites genitals of police officer following crash. Florida date ends when she throws steak knives.

Fat Bear Week delayed after fat bear contestant kills rival bear. Held hostage? IRS wants those late fees paid while captured.

Super Sheep cloner gets prison time for playing God. The infamous "Piss Bandit" is now a documentary.

Get more cash for your sperm, there's a shortage in UK. Slapping heads for sport causes concussions.

Man amputates own penis with an axe after consuming mushrooms. Saudi's welcome LGBTQ+ for World Cup despite death penalties.

Floridaman shot over jukebox song dispute. Floridaman nearly died getting lap dance from his housekeeper.

Landlord bulldozed a house with tenant still inside. Cocaine Bananas have arrived and they're delicious.

Fake Brad Pitt promises lonely women romance for their money. Animal parts falling from the sky?

Costco apartments are coming to Los Angeles. Arrests made after woman uses the suicide pod in Switzerland.

Chinese zoo admits the pandas are painted dogs. Man died after stabbing himself trying to separate frozen burgers.

Florida man arrested for keeping 2 alligators in his pool. "Philadelphia Flasher" arrested for flashing his stuff in Florida.

Russia suggests making babies on your lunch break. Piano teacher tried to sever a penis after sex refusals.

8 year old girl stole car, drove to Target to shop. Nashville man missing half his head spotted walking around.

Mammals can breathe through their butts, scientists find. Carnival Cruise smashed into an iceberg.

Lady divorces an airplane after 10 years. Military called in to protect doctors from patient attacks.

Floridaman shot a crack bear to save his puppy. Florida doc mistakenly removes patient liver instead of spleen.

Man gets sexy with a cucumber on a lady's car. Jon Bon Jovi talks a suicidal woman off a bridge.

Man puts 2-foot eel in his bum and it doesn't go well. Navy officer brought internet on ship to check her social media.

Peru confiscates hundreds of horny frogs. China warns: watch out for sexy people turning you into spy.

Woman lights fires to flirt with firefighters. Drunk lady stole a coffin with a body inside.

Machete-wielding Floridaman! (Clothing Optional)

Lonely dolphin keeps hitting on Japanese swimmers. AI classrooms without teachers open in London.

Witch doctor arrested for not resurrecting a dead person. 1 in 3 vegetarians eat meat when drunk.

Husband spikes wife's Coke with cocaine hoping to marry her daughter. Employee found dead at her desk after 4 days.

Florida lady has lesbian threesome in public pool in front of kids. Man wields machete and demands people buy his meth.

Worker left for dead during wilderness office retreat. Fighting sexual urges? Try badminton, kids.

Woman is allergic to her own period. Fake police officer fools the police force for years.

Doctor let teenage daughter drill hole in patient's skull. Rock band fakes farewell tour to see tickets.

Chick-fil-A launches Chicken TV. World's oldest man says the secret is fried food and luck.

Florida doctor ignores screaming patients. Bloody Floridaman refuses to leave a plane.

Dead woman still has to pay rent. Football team will wear QR codes for in-game tipping.

Horse is elected mayor of a US town. Woman performed lewd act with a trout.

So sorry we lost your skull, sir! Flights canceled over dangerous missing scissors.

Woman runs over boyfriend with car on their way to couples therapy. Man shot his father over smelly feet.

Floridaman drives truck through strip club for kicking him out. Man stabs roommate over gas prices.

Circumcised without consent leads to apology. Taliban welcome hostages - I mean "Tourists".

Lice in passenger's hair leads to emergency landing. Breastfeeding humans try to get an orangutan to do same.

Lady steals $1.5 million worth of chicken wings from school. Stop giving the monks energy drinks, please.

Glitterbombing Mars will make it better to dance on. Man steals women's undies cuz he hates his wife's undies.

Hurricane blows cocaine onto Florida beach. Lady blames strong winds for failed sobriety test.

Chess player poisons her rival pre-match. Mayor asks to please not poop on their pretty beach.

Airline now allows women to purchase seats away from the creepy men. Man arrested for assaulting a Prius.

Black clothing banned in classrooms but the 10 Commandments are on the wall for all to see.

Pole vaulter’s huge package costs him Olympic medal. Baby Karen's are nearly extinct.

Woman caught with drugs in bag labeled ‘Bag of Drugs’. Floridaman lassos an alligator for killing the turtles.

Unseasoned chicken led to brawl with bug spray, fists and knives. Man stabs another man over chicken or egg debate.

Corpse shortage at medical schools. Disney cancels offensive bear named Liver Lips McGrowl.

Champagne sales down because people aren't cheery. Docs remove giant gourd from farmer's rectum.

Stripper, emotional support monkey and a football coach. Supreme Court rules that boneless wings can have bones.

Florida police order no selfies with the depressed black bear. Floridaman resists arrest while being arrested for resisting arrest.

Tourist burns feet off in Death Valley. Japan restaurants charge tourists more than locals.

Resurrect dead loved one's with AI avatars. Astronauts will drink their own pee on the moon.

Cocaine Sharks invade Brazil. Father decapitates seagull in front of family.

Plants with offensive names will be renamed. Japan Olympic gymnast sent home for smoking.

Florida stripper sues to remain a stripper. Florida woman bites flight attendant on United Airlines.

This illegal Trader Joe's spice will get you arrested. Melting ice caps are gonna give us a longer weekend.

Young people are getting groped a lot in Japan. World's largest water balloon fight.

Too much cocaine is hurting Columbia. Elon offers his sperm for the first Mars colony.

Taco Bell opens a retirement community. Mexico cancels the Greek God Poseidon.

Two Florida women, one sandwich. Floridaman shoots himself in groin in front of girlfriend while trying to shoot her ex.

Man broke into pet store to release the animals. Man caught smuggling 100 snakes in his pants.

Porn Passports coming this summer. German city renames itself after Taylor Swift.

Offensive Happy Meal will be called just "The Meal". Ammo vending machines in grocery stores.

Teacher livestreams up her skirt during class. Government will ban politicians from lying.

Florida crack bears are fair game. Floridaman on a tricycle fights man with machete over lights.

College has a student height requirement. Rapper's lyrics must be approved by US government.

Man squirts his urine at ladies as an ice breaker. The Big Nude Boat is a nude cruise launching soon.

Government robot worker commits suicide. Minister arrested for performing black magic on a President.

Man flies to Florida to attack gamer with a hammer. Floridaman shoots at Walmart delivery drone.

Church sells plots of land in Heaven. Golf course rents out llamas as caddies.

Beastiality Bus pulled over in PA. You can't sell human poo without FDA approval.

Poop protest in the Paris river postponed. Flat Earthers get a new reality show.

Man had sex with a train seat. Hong Kong demands citizens smile more to attract more tourists.

Florida lady shot roommate for being messy. Playground stolen from Florida school for Autistic children.

Man's genitals removed by enemy while asleep. Anti-Woke water is a hit for conservatives.

New SexBots powered AI to hit shelves. Come back to the office and get your own desk!

Police conduct mock shooting for students who now need therapy. Elephants know each others' names cuz they smart.

Crocodile ate their dogs, so they ate him. Hire a driver that can also shoot your enemies.

Floridaman sneezes and his colon falls out at the diner. Man thinks all of Florida is a nude beach.

Man broke into home to perform exorcism on former co-worker. Hospital puts "famous" singer in a straight-jacket.

Denmark recalls Korean ramen for being too spicy. German town votes to have all pigeons killed.

Jesus had an erection when he dies, says priest. Flying venomous spiders heading to the Northeast.

Books about farts and butts are back in Texas libraries. Lady suffers from Sleep Shopping disorder.

Florida woman called police on herself during a carjacking. Floridaman caught pushing stolen Coke machine down street.

Porn takes over Amazon tribe after they finally get internet. Scientists wanna know what time it is on the moon.

Straight men get free beer at bar's Heterosexual Awareness event. Flavor Flav orders entire Red Lobster menu in effort to save company.

You will soon be able to grow new teeth. Your orange juice is about to have zero oranges.

Town bans sex dolls and genital costumes for parties. Teacher holds mock slave auction in class.

Shirtless Floridaman robbing Wendy's with finger guns blazin. Florida couple makes 4pm love on the pier.

Cash for vasectomy reversals to help declining birth rates. Violent street performer disputes in Mexico.

Poop balloons sent from North Korea to annoy neighbor. Ramen lovers eat their noodles as restaurant goes up in flames around them.

Mexican cartels take over the tortillas. Family gets brain worms from uncooked bear meat.

Florida Priest bites woman at Mass. Floridaman offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral pleasures.

Dogs now have their own luxury airline. Queer animal documentary featuring bisexual lions.

Crime to wear a mask in public? Ten Commandments in the classroom? Bears don't mind Black Sabbath.

Every human testicle contains microplastics, study shows. Swiss court bans the Bimbo for being racist.

Man has sexual relations with a pink Tesla for three hours. Taiwan parliament member runs away with bill to prevent passing.

Florida raises stripper age to 21 to fight trafficking? Miami police showcase first Rolls Royce police car.

Pope will discuss aliens and what the church will do about them. 106 year old man is the oldest skydiver ever.

Judge rules tacos and burritos are sandwiches. Police Arrest Yakuza Leader For Stealing 25 Pokemon Trading Cards.

Flavor Flav is a hype man for the US women’s water polo team. YouTuber runs over pedestrian while streaming under the influence.

Lady lived inside supermarket roof sign for entire year. Man assaults police with a block of cheese.

Floridaman bites off piece of cop’s head at a music festival. Man stopped at Miami airport with snakes in his pants.

Zoo painted puppies to look like pandas. AI Priest defrocked after it Ok's baptizing a baby in Gatorade.

Darts player refuses to play against trans darts player. Bear eats the ducklings at a kids party.

Emotional support alligator kidnapped. NASA asked to help find the Loch Ness Monster.

Floridaman throws pasta during road rage incident. Floridaman 'Pee Wee’ caught exposing himself at 3 stores.

Meth induced Bigfoot sacrifice leads to murder of fishing buddy. Gold spewing volcano make you rich.

Pet cat shipped 700 miles in Amazon return package. The Mona Lisa may be sent to the basement.

Floridaman employee shoots own father thru drive-thru. Floridaman drinks a cold one during arrest.

Male hippo discovered to be female after 7 years at a zoo. Orgasm noise study shows it's quiet.

Milan to ban ice cream and pizza after midnight. Lady says stolen jeep was a tip from a customer.

Snakebite victims asked to not bring the snake to the hospital. Man's body produces alcohol?

Woman took a corpse into a bank and tried to get a loan. Mascot name Ozempig upsets some people.

Floridaman has sword ritual with kidnapped lady. Florida fire fighter whips out his hose in a 7-11.

Workers hired thugs to beat up boss for long hours. Polish priest held drug field orgies and then...

Man arrested for having sex with a car for three years. Tennessee okays teachers with guns in class.

Goofy falls on top of woman, who sues Disney. Nuns eat potato chips and now the church is angry,

Man kills himself with his own poisonous pet snakes. Dead lady requested Grim Reaper at funeral.

Florida woman claims God told her to shoot up a highway during eclipse. Drunk driving on 3 wheels?

Testicles were shown on the news instead of solar eclipse. Employee hangs his own art in museum.

Drug made from human bones is very addicting. Nine year old misses bus, steals mom's car for school.

Chechnya bans music that's too slow but also too fast. Earthquake strikes while man gets vasectomy.

Town asks mayor to stop the solar eclipse. Italian island offers free goats if you catch them.

Floridaman assaults store manager with Bible on Easter. Couple arrested for sex in front of Popeye's

Man fires his gun downtown to celebrate his divorce. Africa threatens to deliver 20,000 elephants .

Firefighter impersonator with garden hose arrested. Arizona claims Pluto as official planet.

Super Gonorrhea surging in China. Filipinos still nailing themselves to crosses, church hates it.

Florida lady says it's not robbery, it's a "game called 21". Gallons of wine okay but no lab meat!

Help us find the biggest weiner in baseball. Man dies after friend pumps air into his rectum.

Strippers' Bill of Rights signed in Washington. Man believed his mom a vampire and staked her.

Titanic door that murdered Jack sold for $700k. Tennessee senate passes bill banning chemtrails?

Man stole and ate the leg of someone killed by a train. Buying lady poop online isn't easy.

Naked Florida woman sets fire to church and police cars. Child brought gun to daycare in lunchbox.

Boys ages 11, 12, and 16 rob a bank in Texas. Bakery can't sell alcohol near the pyramid winery.

Man offered college girls $100 to kick in the groin. Student persuaded to cut off both his feet.

Lady with two vaginas and a boyfriend for each. Cat fell into a cat of toxic chemicals.

Lady impersonates FBI agent to shut down Waffle House. Elderly couple escaped living facility.

Fake Florida doctor does a "killer" buttlift. Mom tried to sell her daughter in a bank parking lot.

Man creates giant mutant hybrid sheep illegally. Dead man's roommates drive his body to his bank.

Simulated period pain for male office workers in Japan. Fake lawyer at Burger King scam.

Rats are eating the marijuana at NOLA police station. Men planned to have python eat young girl.

Saudi Arabia's humanoid robot "gropes" news anchor. Library will accept cat pics instead of fees.

Floridaman says his bomb threat was "flirting". Man holds lady for ransom after learning she's Trans

Teacher shot student during exams. Russia and China plan a nuclear power plant on the Moon.

Scorpion stung a man's groin in Vegas hotel. US military man shared classified info on dating site.

Balls Out Bowling where nudity is required. Nasal spray addiction crisis in Norway.

Toe-licking fundraiser event at a school. Man pulls knife on comedy club staff after denied stage.

Floridaman claims is Jesus while pooping in a Target. Floridaman hates free stuff and will attack.

Teacher brings swords to class for kids to battle. Willy Wonka event left kids in tears.

Mom can't stop throwing Christmas trees. Japan will launch first wooden satellite.

Singer dosed bandmate with estrogen to steal his girlfriend. Woman will be first to marry a hologram

Corpse left in a hearse for two years. Man tried to buy a Porsche with $78 million check.

Florida woman gives mom a hot grits slap. Measles outbreak at a Florida school but it's fine!

Priest arrested for selling Viagra. Japan will allow women at the Naked Man Festival.

Your coffee has poop in it. Human leg found on the NYC subway tracks.

Man wearing kilt puts antiques up his rectum. Alabama court decides a frozen embryo is a child.

Bedsheet gloryhole trickery gets man jail time. Gang of elderly bank robbers with incontinence.

Floridaman carjacks his grandma. Floridaman stole statues to gift his ex on Valentine's Day.

Maggots fall on passengers' heads during flight. Stingray is pregnant but who's the daddy?

Pastor sold meth out of his Methodist church. Women are all about those AI boyfriends.

Tv show features girl turned into a chicken nugget. Crowd attacks a Robotaxi.

Mutant cancer resistant wolves in Chernobyl. Airline will weigh passengers ahead of takeoff.

Floridaman believes in right to shoot crack bears. Florida patient jiggled genitals for a crowd.

Climbers must carry own poop down from Mt. Everest. Radio station had their 200 ft tower stolen.

"Free Cocaine" samples lead to dealer arrest. Man paints squirrels to find which make the dog bark.

Dairy Queen meth ring dubbed "Operation Blizzard" bust. Samurai sword swinging man invades Walmart.

Man shoots at "Ninja like" people for hours. Large inert nuclear missile found in man's garage.

Florida mom's OnlyFans ad on her car featured at kids school. Florida wife does Florida things.

Adult diaper spa offer therapy in your diaper. Sky Poop leaves locals baffled.

Elmo learns that humanity is very depressed right now. Mother pours hot water on her horny son.

After Super Viagra orgy, man exposed himself at Hungry Jack's. Dead man wakes after pothole hit.

Pepperoni vandals strike Jersey home. Health officials warn do not eat fried toothpicks.

Floridaman anger management therapist murders people. Man tried to sleep with all flight attendants.

Amish horse and buggy stolen from Walmart parking lot. Senators propose bringing back duels.

Ukrainian woman wins Miss Japan. Metal band apologizes for throwing severed pig's head at a show.

Man stabs neighbor over loud snoring. New bill would ban sexy selfies unless you're married.

Bigfoot sightings are Black Bears, study shows. Marathon runner disqualified for chain smoking.

Florida woman tried to use dog pee for drug sample. Man touches himself while stabbing a stranger.

Oldest dog ever has title suspended. Passenger trapped in bathroom for entire flight.

Kentucky is very cool with incest. Shaman agrees to stop casting genital spells.

Man accuses neighbors of being pirates. Funny highway signs will be banned across US.

Mexican cartel goes into WiFi business. Man dressed as his girlfriend to take her university test.

Florida inmate claims got pregnant thru air conditioning. Man shoots leaf blower for blowing.

Kentucky invites space aliens to come for a visit. Navajo Nation is against human remains on Moon.

Sex worker offers military discount for services. Woman granted sperm of her dead husband.

She poisoned husband's soup cuz soap opera star told her to. Want glacier ice in your pina colada?

Man killed by falling cow while urinating. Naked Bamaman jumps into Bass Pro Shop aquarium.

Floridaman, his limp package and a dildo assault. Lady hides hot bullets in her hot lady pocket.

Best of Weird AF News 2023 - Part 2

Best of Weird AF News 2023 - Part 1

Florida lady beats boyfriend with Christmas tree. Floridaman in a dress makes pleasure on a porch.

You can keep on pooping, says the mayor. More strollers sold for pets than for infants in 2023.

Bathtub pooping incident by Chinese Chess champion. Spirit Air sends a boy to the wrong city.

North Korea wants to be vacation destination. Nativity scene with two Mary's sparks controversy.

Floridaman claims is Captain America and has guns. Man assaults WaWa employee with spicy chicken.

Surge in unprotected holiday sex warning. Beware of fake clergymen selling air conditioners.

Christmas is a time for penis fractures. Humans fuel global warming just by breathing, says study.

Baby Jesus kidnapped by TikTokers. Teacher gave homework assignment to plan a terror attack.

After School Satan Club at an elementary school? Resurrect your dead loved one with AI avatar.

Florida tourist man molested a manatee statue. Floridaman shot up a Christmas parade.

Family doesn't notice owl in their Xmas tree for days. Cruise line bans couple for balcony fishing.

Owning a dog makes your brain strong, study shows. Thieves argue lesser sentence cuz items on sale.

Teacher gave pre schoolers "sleepy time" stickers. Man claims he wasn't groping, he was robbing!

Passenger smuggles 2 otters and a prairie dog on flight. Krispy Kreme donuts invades France.

Florida woman lit her Tinder date on fire. Florida couple stole a house then put Christmas lights.

Lady shot in butt by her own gun during MRI. Official of Paraguay signs agreement with fake country.

Woman sentenced to work as fast food employee. Lady caught stealing during Shop with a Cop event.

Lady killed during Slap Therapy session. Japan police arrest taxi driver for killing a pigeon.

Florida gf stabs bf in eye for looking at other women. Man claims meth found in undies isn't his.

Man touches himself at a Kum and Go. Wife punched husband to death for not taking her to Dubai.

Serial Pringles can pooper caught. Russian prisoners forced to listen to Bon Jovi and Moby.

Dog farmers threaten to release 2 million dogs. Space flight causes erectile dysfunction.

McDonald's bans teenagers after 6pm. Men break into closed jail, lock themselves in a cell, call 911

Floridaman gets naughty on neighbor's porches. Floridaman assaults his wife with Oreo cookies.

Daryl Hall gets restraining order against John Oates. Hospitals remove crucifixes after attacks.

Drunken Taco Bell Holiday orgy anyone? Brown Friday is the a plumber's Thanksgiving nightmare.

Helicopters create crocodile orgies? Hospital released the wrong dead bodies to families.

Floridaman poops on a dead possum in public. Woman shoots her sugardaddy in front of his girlfriend.

Christian Furries judged for being Christian? Marathon runner banned for using a car in a race.

Horse gets loose on board a plane. Boy attends his own murder hearing to prove he's in fact alive.

Santa gets a DUI while driving kids on Santa's Train. Murderer released from prison for obesity.

Daycare workers ran children's fight club. CVS replaces toilet paper with pictures of toilet paper.

Disney has a "Poop Hallway". Floridaman takes a bath with his 5 alligators.

Hiker brings home deadly snake to show the kids. Catholic Church warning about fake priests.

Snake Pizza offered by the Hut. Robot worker kills another human and the robot wars begin!

People with tattoos commit more crimes, study says. Cocaine Hippos of Columbia are a problem.

Naked house cleaner is very trusting. man not allowed to wear Gimp suit and hump the street.

Florida police warn of the Booty Patrol. Buy a new roof, get free AR-15 and a free turkey.

Volcano owners not liable for visitor safety. Offensive bird names will be replaced by nice ones.

Lady identifies as a vampire. Teacher in trouble for yelling "Hail Satan!" in class.

Halloween candy should be eaten all at once , say dentists. 50 scariest places in all 50 states.

Restaurant will charge $50 child misbehave fee. Man lit himself on fire when the tea arrived late.

Floridaman demands all the Viagra or he'll shoot. Floridaman "Games" - Olympics for criminals.

Man tried to hire prostitute for his horse. Man attacks skateboarder who he thought was a fish.

Genital examinations of Dollar General employees? Celine Dion music battles torment a town in NZ.

Never pee in the beer even if it tastes like pee. Football coach shot at practice by angry parent.

Skeleton strippers are a Halloween controversy. Priest smashed pumpkins to rid the town of evil.

Florida woman stole mom's car and ran her over with it. Lady woke up to maintenance man in her bed.

Dead guy was mistaken for Halloween decoration. School hires an AI Robot teacher.

Bomb? Nope. Turns out it's an adult diaper. Man faked over 20 heart attacks for free meals.

Circumcised? Foreskin regeneration is here! Workers steal customer credit cards to bail out inmates.

Would you get married at a McDonald's? Family removes Halloween decoration to appease sick neighbor.

Floridaman stole a car at his job interview. Teacher shows 4th graders Winnie the Pooh horror film.

Making love to a cucumber on meth? Catch a UFO on your security camera and win $1 million.

Amish caught with cell phones during emergency alert. Cop in trouble for being an OnlyFans model.

Robot Super Wolves protect Japan against bears. Free "emergency" pizza from Domino's?

Lady smuggles giraffe poop into US to make jewelry. Puke penalty if you throw up your brunch.

Floridaman car jacked on first date. Floridaman busted for illegal erectile dysfunction pills.

China is taking back all their pandas. Police in Mexico arrest a Chucky doll for robbery.

Gay marriages may be blessed according to Pope. Texas family terrorized by a huge pig.

Emotional support alligator not allowed in stadium? Can you sell a jaguar in a Texas parking lot?

Man drives into police station while playing Guns N' Roses. Fat Bear Week may be in danger!

Floridaman bakes cocaine cookies and murders. Man burglarizes while pooping on a boat.

Erectile dysfunction cured with spider venom! Hospital props up dead woman to appear alive.

Airlines is sorry for searching female genitalia. Can you legally record a crazy person in Target?

Sheep's eat 600 pounds of cannabis. Tinder has a $500 month tier to avoid common folk.

AIDS sculpture looking like an Anus causes stir. Police warn that 20 naked guys are out there.

Floridaman invents the McTweeker breakfast sandwich. Lady stole alligator for birthday photo shoot.

People who identify as dogs gather to bark. Study shows eating cheese is good for your brain.

Can you name your baby Methamphetamine? Teacher fired for reading Anne Frank diary to class.

Anti Glasses influencer says just put essential oils in your eyes. Custody battle over a cat?

US military needs help finding missing stealth fighter jet. Police taze band director for playing.

Florida mom leaves child to swim with sharks. Floridaman pulls a gun on faster internet.

Alien corpses on display during Mexico Congress. Cursed haunted painting sold on EBay.

Man broke into a daycare and pretended to be a baby girl. Coke launches beverage created using AI.

Red wine floods an entire town in Portugal. World Lying Down Competition still going after weeks.

Synthetic Alcohol is coming and without the hangover. Teen dies after taking the One Chip Challenge.

Floridaman arrested while crossing the ocean in giant hamster wheel. Lady chokes fiance with feet.

Sexting nun tells the Vatican where to go. Diarrhea on the plane! Diarrhea on the plane!

Professor with a clown fetish had students paint faces. Radioactive wild pigs wreaking havoc.

Rat Tours are popular with New York City tourists. Two arrested for breaking the Great Wall of China

Florida women clog toilet, then battle fast-food employees. Floridaman claims to be the Joker...

Airlines offers "Adult Only" zones - no babies allowed. Fake surgeon and penis enlargement botch.

"Beer Goggles" is a myth according to science. Burger King sued for Whopper not being Whopper-like.

Dog buys an apartment, realtor gets arrested. Woman has 3 inch worm pulled from her confused brain.

Teacher arrested in classroom with cup full of wine. Watermelons are exploding and here's why.

Floridaman is "The reason the beer's always gone". Woman poisons her date with cockroach spray.

Astrologer arrested for telling thieves best TIME to rob. Playground slides and bear mace don't mix.

Man arrested for stealing neighbor's front porch. Man used dead brother's identity for 50 years.

Study Uranus and help out NASA. Russia's first moon mission in decades results in a crash.

Passengers having sex in driverless Robo-taxis. Please don't pose naked with the sunflowers.

Florida criminal pours Mountain Dew on herself to "hide DNA" evidence. Woman had stripper dreams.

No more gay watches in Malaysia. Drunk Americans trapped overnight in the Eiffel Tower.

Gay Pop Tarts are a threat to the kids? Dying wife asks husband if she can sleep with her ex.

Sex in space is possible but should you? Train company uses aromatherapy to soothe angry passengers.

Store evacuated by painful erection causing spider. Russia considering chemical castrations.

Florida - where you go fishing and catch cocaine! Schools remove Shakespeare for sexual content.

Order the Hitler Fries and Anne Frank Burger. Save some money and share a bed with a stranger.

Lady attacked by a snake and a hawk at the same time. Man broke into homes to rub lady feets.

Trans woman wants her testicles back from ex. Nut allergy passenger bought all the nuts on flight.

Pet all the dogs! Doctors say so! Man stabs another through the head with an American flag.

Florida is Leprosy capital of US. Manager of Florida Chipotle is sleeping with all the husbands.

It's National Grab Your Nuts Day! Bury yourself in a hot pink Barbie themed coffin.

Science discovered the perfect swear word. Hire a celebrity to quit your job for you.

Zoo denies their bears are not humans wearing costumes. FatCon is coming to Philadelphia.

Man spent $14k to become a dog. Scientists bring back to life a worm frozen for 46,000 years.

Cocaine Sharks in Florida! Woman shot her husband's genitals over air conditioning.

Americans are not having sex and here's why. Airline served passengers Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Largest breast donation in world history. Lady divorced her Victorian soldier ghost over his obsession with Marilyn Monroe.

Adults work as "full time children" in China. Couple threatens to stage a hunger strike over pickleball noises.

Florida schools will teach slavery was awesome for slaves. Floridaman hides ammo behind his balls.

You can't get your Butt Drugs any more. Man decorated home with human body parts.

Police will not longer drink on their lunch break. French government wants to see your junk pics.

Tourists are rushing to Death Valley to fry like bacon. Doctors reattach a boy's decapitated head.

Free whale slaughter viewing with every cruise. Man loves running while on fire, breaks records.

Meth found in soy sauce at Florida steak house. Free pizza? Not if I shoot you! Says Floridaman.

Mayor married an alligator to keep the peace. In Italy you can grope a woman for under 10 seconds.

Burger King offers cheeseburger with 20 slices of cheese. Dumpling eating contests are illegal here.

New term for "vagina" could be "bonus hole"? Tiktok boat jump challenge leads to death.

Vampire facials linked to HIV cases. Robots say they will not steal our jobs or murder us.

Meth lab found at Florida Welcome Center. Woman arrested with a crack pipe and a baby raccoon?

Giant hot elephant balls are fighting cancer. McDonald's offers catering for your wedding.

Drugs fall from the sky in France. Woman with 800 tattoos wonders why no one hires her.

Floridaman shotguns a Twisted Tea with baby gator. Floridaman punches man over his crack quality.

Fan throws her mom's cremated ashes on stage at Pink concert. Oldest image of a pizza discovered.

Gimme all your money! I mean, let's go on a date. Mom's apologize for quoting Hitler.

Sorry for the naked guy tied up in the moving truck! Pump your own gas in Oregon and not be arrested

Family selling a cat that grants wishes. Make sweet love in the Church hotel?

Meth Island shut down by Florida police. Floridaman arrested while drinking Floridaman Beer.

Bus 666 to HEL has been canceled. Flight attendant makes bomb threat to stop her ex's vacation.

Fake priest hired by restaurant to find thieves. Lady refuses to take down her giant werewolf.

Search is on for missing Titanic tourist submarine. Gold bar vending machines are popular in Korea.

Man fakes his own death to teach his family a lesson. Gas station clerk asked a friend to rob him.

Floridaman gets bit by relative, gets flesh eating disease. Best nude beach in the world....Florida?

Egypt bans all dog breeds except ten. Hundreds attend church service led by an A.I.

Dead woman wakes up in the coffin at her own wake. Mysterious anonymous free food deliveries.

We are all drinking dinosaur pee! Female only Korean spa has to allow dongs in the shower.

Porn star accidentally hired for Little Mermaid movie. Family stuck with 1 million pennies.

Floridaman assaults with chicken wings. Floridaman claims he is a ghost, breaks into family home.

3 severed heads were left on employee's desk. In Japan you can hire agency to quit your job for you.

Man steals sex toys from homes to give as birthday presents. Robots suck at making pizza.

Cupcake stealing bears dealt a deadly blow. Man fired from job for being on the toilet all day.

Cocaine in a hotdog leads to fast food employee arrest. Lady murders just to "see what it's like".

Floridaman breaks into home to hide from a ghost. Floridaman in cat pajamas stabs roommate.

Passengers must weigh themselves before boarding flights. Taylor Swift fans wear diapers to shows.

Family adopts 6 yo, turns out to be angry adult. Student lists his high school for sale on Zillow.

Fart Spray prank leads to criminal charges. Toddler imprisoned for parents' Bible possession.

Floridaman "Time Traveler" throws brick at a baby. Man loses arm to a gator after peeing behind bar.

Public sex? Not if we cut down all the trees! Drivers carry guns on new rideshare app.

Doctor has the janitor assist in amputation procedure. NASA sending robot snakes to explore space.

Man shot roommate for eating last Hot Pocket. Topless Jeep Weekend in Texas goes as expected.

No gay nuns for Pride Day because that's too gay. The dog poo capital of the US is....

Floridaman attacks police officer with meat. Florida teacher in trouble for showing a Disney film with a gay character.

Man claims his dog was driving to get out of DUI. Man banned from being near women in public.

Priests will wear QR codes to show sex offenders. Schools to ban chocolate milk in cafeterias.

Are you stressed? Try a British accent! Forgot how to smile? Take our smiling seminar!

City bans dog barking at the dog park. Pizzeria shut down after lacing food with cannabis.

Florida teacher lets student hit her vape pen. Dude hits lady in bed after getting her name wrong.

Man opens store selling crack, meth and cocaine. Dangerous rabbit attacks residents in small town.

Knee bolognese! Influencer eats pieces of her own body. Girl fakes a kidnapping cuz college is hard.

Lady murders husband then writes a grief book for children. Lady survives days in outback on wine.

Free toe sucking included in your hotel stay. Man goes on a date, gets tied up in the woods.

Floridaman defecates on romantic rival's car. Trans lifeguard bares breasts during audition.

Man shoots his friend after thinking he's a turkey. Giant mound of cooked pasta found in a forest.

Lady has an orgasm at a classical music concert. Man drills holes in his own skull to get high.

Landlords can be naked on the property court rules. Cockfighting is big business in Hawaii.

Man performs sex act with a seagull in an alley. Dwarf Bullfighting banned in Spain.

Floridaman says it's not heroin it's Guatemalan chili powder. Florida teacher loves slavery.

Sperm injecting robots are fathering children. Town forces argumentative parents to umpire games.

Get your tooth pulled by a fake dentist in a hotel room! Many vasectomies threaten Earth they say.

Marathon runner decides to catch a ride in a car. Japan wants to know which baby cries loudest.

You're most likely to have sex with a robot if you're horny. Students and teachers lick whip cream.

Floridaman burns down his home to stop vampires. Alligator bites off Floridaman's leg at an RV park.

Naked man tried to baptize himself in a church fountain. Cat hunting contest for the kids canceled.

Cafe waitress mixed her own blood into cocktails. FBI arrests man who applied for job on hitman site

Porn on the train will not be tolerated. Couple beheads themselves at same time with homemade device

Lady injected a black widow spider to get high. Now you can get groped and be late for class.

Florida teacher hosted fight club inside classroom. Floridaman calls the cops on the cops.

Mom of twins calls police when she can't tell them apart. Alcoholic dog has been rehabilitated.

78 year old woman robs banks so politely. Man scares his neighbor's chickens to death.

Monopoly game ends in a sword fight. Bodyguard the Musical shuts after fans keep singing along.

Snakes on a plane! But for real! Bloody crucifixions still take place on Good Friday.

Naked Floridaman transports dead deer in stolen school bus. Man whips out machete at karaoke bar.

Man called his ex 800 times in 48 hours and faces jail time. Would you eat Wooly Mammoth meatballs?

Live-stream castration ring busted. Rap music will not be allowed at the Easter Festival.

AI told a man to kill himself, and he did. Bear meat vending machine in Japan is quite popular.

Ghost of a child damaged his car, claims man. Order Starbucks drink based on your Zodiac sign?

Florida stripper assaults man with dollar bills. Floridaman would rather burn than be arrested.

Waiting for a dead pastor to resurrect for entire year. Colleges giving students a week off for love

Invincible super pigs are invading the US! Politicians in Finland are rapping to attract voters.

Serial sperm donor fathered 550 kids and won't stop. Only alcohol free bar in Dublin has closed.

Tenant squeezed landlord's testicles to death. News anchor canceled for rapping Snoop Dogg.

Alligator knocks on Floridaman's front door. Florida principal fired for showing a classical penis.

Prisoners break out of jail and go to an IHOP. Man describes Hell in detail to his doc after dying.

Man poops on bicycle seats to show affection. Finland offers free vacation to come learn happiness.

From beheadings to making copies, Taliban as office workers. Device let's you make out with insects.

Burglar steals vibrator after entering through a dog flap. Does Mozart's music stop crime?

The real Terminator is a Floridaman. Giant seaweed blob is about to retire in Florida.

Racist principal turns out to be a deepfake made by students. First octopus farm is causing alarm.

American smuggled marijuana into Jamaica because dumb. Robot Armageddon begins at Lowe's.

It's raining worms in China. Scientists discover possible nut allergy cure.

Anyone can be topless at Berlin public pools. Valentine's Day 2046 is now incoming asteroid day.

Threesome ends when Floridaman throws a brick. National Sugar Daddy Appreciation Day in Florida?

Don't make me impregnate ISIS women! Dolphin Dave in trouble for touching too many dolphins.

Couple marries in the Metaverse, gets free Taco Bell. California city bans balloons in public.

Sushi licking kids fooled by AI cameras. 28 girls hospitalized after using Ouija Board at school.

Men modeling women's lingerie in China following a ban. Don't push your slower friend at the bear!

Florida lady argues her jailed fetus needs to be released. Stop delivering takeout to eagle's nest!

Man goes to Disneyland 2,995 days in a row. Japan's birth rate so low due to romance skills?

Man arrested with an 800 year old mummy girlfriend. Robot baristas will soon make us coffee drinks.

Bride dies at ceremony and is replaced by younger sister. Future cars could repossess themselves.

Penis size is increasing because of pollution. Mexico president shows proof of a crackhead in a tree

Florida mom's OnlyFans gets son suspended. Florida woman pulls a gun over a free cookie.

Lady twerks on a dead guy at his funeral. The official drunkest state in America last year is...

Be like Jesus, just don't fast like Jesus. Cookie Monster is acting belligerent along the wharf.

Doctor did illegal testicular ultrasounds in his bedroom. Teens trash mansion in social media stunt.

Ahhh the smell of New Mexico! Couple tried to murder one another yet stays together for 57 years.

Florida daycare put the children in Blackface. Floridaman wants penis statues in every city.

Best cars to have sex in are... man escapes prison disguised as sheep gets caught in a field.

Nightclub bans trouble making red sneakers. Pastor says sermons written by the AI are unacceptable.

Donate your exe's crap to Goodwill on Valentine Day. Underground hot spring pornography ring busted.

First baby dropped anonymously in the Baby Box. You should hug some cows on Valentine's Day.

Floridaman bites head off python during an argument. Floridaman crashes his homemade plane.

Senate legalized Ninja throwing stars. First man in the world to get a tattoo from a monkey.

Threesome or alien abduction! Your choice. New gummies that make your vagina taste better.

Man's cancer caused him to speak with an Irish accent. Mafia boss fugitive found making pizzas.

French bulldogs may be banned as pets. Have you tried zapping your brain to cure brain fog?

Floridaman sues for being on Wheel of Fugitive. Florida schools wanna know your menstrual history.

Donate your organs and get out of jail early. Company will resurrect Wooly Mammoths and Dodo Birds.

Couple abandon their baby at airport rather than buy ticket. Dismembered penis found at gas station.

Men spend 7 hours a year hiding in the bathroom. Woman killed her look alike to fake her own death.

Pet fish commits credit card fraud while playing Nintendo. Doctors swallow legos for science.

Florida lady says crack pipe inside her is actually a sex toy. Man drove off pier cuz Jesus told him

Students can't identify as animals at school. How did a fake restaurant become #1 in London?

Food made of aborted fetuses must be labeled. Museums say the word "mummy" is offensive.

Know where your rectum is? Half of people don't. Whale parts now sold in vending machines.

Men with small penises like fast cars, study says. Man survived lost at sea 24 days on ketchup.

Floridaman shoots another over existence of Heaven and Hell. Iguana falls on man's face during yoga.

Did you know you can "smoke" your alcohol? Man uses a building shaker to get revenge on neighbors.

Library closed due to meth in the walls. Schools ban all physical contact, including hugging.

The most powerful passport in the word is? New bill would count fetus as a passenger for HOV lane.

You can dance without a permit in Sweden. Dancers flashmob funeral to Another One Bites the Dust.

Florida lady brings emotional support snake on flight. Floridaman combines stabbing with scooting.

Mother profits off her wetting herself. Air India allows passengers to urinate on each other.

Man with Natural Ice in his veins poops on cars. Not a single bank robbery in Denmark last year.

Man bites passenger's face off, thinking he's a robot. Drunks needed for deputy field training.

8 ways to eat your Christmas tree. Old Nazi treasure map sparks a citizen treasure hunt.

Floridaman says his genitals were grabbed at massage parlor. Burglars called 911 for help moving.

Watching porn now requires age verification. Japan will pay you to move out of Tokyo.

Masturbating walrus causes fireworks cancellation. "You have cancer! Just kidding, Happy New Year!"

Best of 2022 - Part 2

Best of 2022 - Part 1

Floridaman attacks cop for waking him then raps. Floridaman breaks into a home to use the toilet.

Father of 102 kids decides it's too expensive to have kids. Bill Cosby plans a comedy tour for 2023.

Defeated politician whips out a sword and threatens voters. Teen gave out fake parking tickets.

Sex dolls are allowed to enter South Korea. Apparently people hate the song Last Christmas by Wham.

Florida mistress demands BDSM dungeon from the city. Floridaman shot Florida woman for twerking.

Mom offers her liver as a bribe to help her son. Super mosquitoes are unstoppable now!

WWI bomb inside a man's rectum causes hospital evacuation. Two women jailed for feeding stray cats.

Is it cruel to turn your pet dog into a Grinch? Giant aquarium explodes in a Berlin hotel.

Don't eat the hallucinogenic spinach! Bank robbery suspect demanded just one dollar?

Floridaman attacks wife with a Christmas tree. Florida woman carjacked her Tinder date.

Pastor wants to grow marijuana in his church. Spider infestation forces school to close.

A Christmas tree vandalized many cars. Rent a living tree this holiday season and save the planet.

Stop throwing marshmallows in the lava! South Koreans will soon become one year younger.

The first "Vagina on a Chip" made in a lab. Girl granted license to own a unicorn if she finds one.

Floridaman robs Walmart with 50 cops inside. School nurse stole all the students' Adderall.

World Cup is hurting the camels. Indonesia just banned sex outside of marriage.

Semen filled Christmas ornaments anyone? Famous sword swallower nearly died from too many swords.

Doctor removes 23 contact lenses from patient's eye. Free removal of any Kanye West tattoos.

Drones make Guns N' Roses very angry, as does a new store that sells guns and flowers.

Florida woman sues cuz mac n cheese takes 3.5 minutes. Floridaman assaults with a sex toy.

Ancient Zombie Virus is dug up by scientists. Japan's poop museum is perfect for poop selfies!

Fake gladiators arrested in Rome for extorting tourists. Father brought son to Hooters controversy.

Every monk tests positive for meth at temple. Thanksgiving family Monopoly game goes violent.

Police dept requests killer robots for deadly force. Men should touch themselves 21 times for health

Floridaman robs Walmart but claims he owns Walmart. Grocery store allows boozing while shopping.

This country has way too much cocaine. Why are Chinese youth dressing up like American farmers?

Mom arrested for making son walk home. The mystery of the circling sheep.

Bar manager accused of making teen girls fight a duel. Suicide pods going on sale soon?

Floridaman breaks into a home to make coffee. Florida lady claims the Bible verse attacked her.

Don't eat the dead whales on the beach! Woman caught with dead boyfriends ashes in a sex toy.

Native American scalps illegally sold online. Judge attacked by a chocolate chip muffin.

Grandpa chainsmokes while running a marathon. Three mermaids saved a drowning scuba diver.

Police warn against buying owls from strangers on drugs. Nudist wants to get naked in your garden.

Floridaman stuffed gun inside a raw chicken to bring on plane. Florida has it's own idea of planking

Child bites a cobra to death. Philadelphia Chicken Man regrets eating 40 rotisserie chickens.

Prostitute ghosts are haunting a woman's home? Nurse amputated man's foot for taxidermy collection.

Virtual Reality headset that really kills you. Why will wolves be shot by paintball guns?

Don't lick the psychedelic toad, warns Park Services. Trapped miners survive 9 days only on coffee.

Sex toy bite fight with Florida woman. Floridaman blames a curse for driving without tires.

Hitler Halloween costume gets a man fired. Fake student lived in Stanford Univ. dorms for a year.

"Wife Beater Wednesday" has been officially canceled. Picking your nose can cause Alzheimer's?

"Now hiring non-stupid people" sign offends locals. Horror video game that takes place in IKEA.

Company will bury you alive for a fee. Is your home haunted? Your car keys may be a clue.

Floridaman told police he has a permit to carry meth. 14yo gave out $13k of grandma's cash at school

Priests and nuns watch porn says the Pope. Marijuana company sued for not getting us high enough.

Trans gender volleyball player causes forfeits. Free vapes for pregnant women.

World's dirtiest man dies after his first bath in decades. TikTok dead guy books role on TV show.

Soccer fan brings dead grandpa's skull to championship. "Offensive" Karen Halloween display removed.

Florida gas stations will sell marijuana. Floridaman attacked a woman for not having a crack pipe.

140 year old pair of Levi's jeans sells for big money. Man drove thru the oldest bathroom in Japan.

Jeffrey Dahmer Halloween costumes banned. Woman attacked the police with bee hives during eviction.

Man allergic to orgasms is finally cured. Blind woman Is flying a plane across the country.

Robot dogs are being walked in China. Stranger torments homeowner with "porridge" prank nightly.

Florida fathers shoot each other's daughters during road rage. Magic mushroom chaos on Miami flight.

Get a free vasectomy in the "Nutcracker" mobile van. Elon Musk release perfume called Burnt Hair.

Nuclear war? Let's have an orgy! Raincoat thief has a fetish for women's raincoats.

Woman pays fake astronaut's ticket back to earth for romance. Voting scandal rocks fat bear contest.

Angry tourist at Vatican demands to speak with the Pope. New iPhone calls 911 on rollercoasters.

Floridaman ran on football field to tackle a 9 year old. Couple stole their coworker's baby.

Churches use Shameware to stop members from watching porn. The King has hired a piper to wake him.

The famous chocolate bunny battle ends. Fancy restaurant is hiring a professional grape feeder.

OnlyFans breaks up with her boyfriend cuz her fans chose it. Sausage vending machines are booming.

Cheating scandal rocks the world of pro fishing. Californians can now jaywalk legally.

Florida woman hopes to marry Tetris the video game. Florida men stole the traffic lights.

Man peed on ex's grave every morning while new wife watched. McDonald's offers adult Happy Meals?

Woman brought a raccoon to the bar. Doctors found over 50 batteries inside woman's stomach.

Cat allergy? You can now own a robotic AI cat. Donating your healthy poop can save lives.

Floridaman touches himself in neighbor's Ring camera. Florida offers bounty on iguana's.

Man married 53 women for peace and stability. Buy red paint made from the real blood of gay men?

Cooking chicken in NyQuil is new TikTok challenge. Guinea Pig Awareness Week has been canceled.

Relax at the new Burger King spa. Teacher in trouble for protecting pedophile feelings.

Avalanche of sex toys on the highway following a crash. World's first flying bike is here.

Floridaman hangs with swans cuz they don't judge him. Bullet in the scrotum for cheating Floridaman.

Eminem is now a Christian rapper. People robbing banks for their own money in this country.

Stripper hired by elderly home to give wheelchair lap dances. TikTok challenge involves stealing car

Teen stole a bus to visit his girlfriend. Chess player accused of using anal beads to cheat.

Drug dealers offer Queen is Dead discounts. Queen Elizabeth look a like retires after 34 years.

Florida teacher twerks on her student at prom. Floridaman shows wang, beats lady with dead pigeon.

White Privilege cards caused a student walk out. Beauty pageant finalist competes without makeup.

Worn out penis on a famous athlete statue. Dutch city is first in world to ban meat advertisements.

Point your genitals at the sun for optimum health? Porn star hugs thousands of fans in 24 hours.

Florida server dipped hot wings in her vagina. Vegan mom gets prison for malnutrition death of son.

Stop sending nudes to passengers on this flight! Robot rapper dropped by label for using N Word.

City fights Sagging Pants with free belts for kids. The resurgence of the mullet divides Australia.

OnlyFans but prison style! Man paddles down the Missouri River in giant pumpkin for world record.

Dance club bans staring without consent. Man climbed Mt. Fuji dressed as a pizza delivery guy.

Floridaman can't stop trying to buy children in Walmart parking lots. Botox Bandit strikes Florida!

School allows student to be a cat all day. Spankings are now allowed in this school district.

NASA releases sound of a Black Hole. Sleeping farmer cuts off his own meaty genitalia.

No more Hitler wine! Gang in India ran a fake police station out of a hotel.

Confederate Festival is canceled in Brazil. Strippers may unionize. First vaginal fluid transplant.

Floridaman walks into gay bar with a grenade. Florida couple make a Ferris wheel rock with sexy time

Semen terrorism should be criminalized. Bouncy Houses are leading cause of windy fun death.

Cum problem in Hong Kong. Japan tells its youth: get drunk so we can get out of this tax deficit!

Ketchup is in on the endangered list! Scotland hires a man to be its official "Period Officer".

He drinks his urine and wonders why roommate's upset. Ladies love well-groomed romantic Korean men.

Florida perverts stay away from mating manatees! Lady called the police 11,000 times to berate them.

Cat food restaurant for humans opens in NYC. Ferrari recalls nearly every car sold since 2005.

Hyena testicles and marijuana promises from presidential candidate. Man ran across Ireland in 1 day.

Man gave himself DIY nose job until hospitalized. Domino's pizza didn't make it in Italy turns out.

Social media star arrested for bad singing. Athlete lost the race because his penis fell out.

Floridaman arrested for eating pasta "belligerently". Man threw urn full of ashes during argument.

Bubble gum bubble blowing fetish is a real thing. Critics say Monkeypox is a racist name.

Stabbing at a watermelon festival. War museum asks visitors to not have sex in their museum if war.

No eating at the food festival! Last remaining witch has been exonerated by the state.

Short skirts aren't allowed at executions. Epidemic of fake violin players, police warn.

Floridaman broke into Space Force to warn of alien-dragon space war. Lady punched cop cuz she bored.

Grandma's dying wish was a giant penis gravestone. Old man driving without a license for 50 years.

Preacher robbed at gunpoint during livestream sermon. Mayor in VA has never heard of a dance party.

Lawmaker wants ghosting to be criminalized. There's a good reason to put sugar on your butthole.

Astronauts can't masturbate in space. Chess robot broke the finger of a child opponent.

Floridaman steals apple juice while showing genitals. Lady stabs a mini van with a pitchfork.

Lady sues her bad date for $10k. US troops banned from alcohol after drunk driving scooters.

Doctors warn don't take the "Hitler Shot". Social Justice Summer Camp for your anarchist children.

Tired at work? Take a nap in the "Nap Coffin". Short ladies can now be police officers.

Red Heads get free admission to theaters to stay cool. Docs say don't put popsicles inside you.

Floridaman stole Walmart shopping scooter to go on date. Inmate caught eating meth infused drawings.

Grown man finds out he has ovaries. Mom gives birth during a live Metallica concert.

Use your own vaginal fluid as a DIY perfume. Stay for free in an all-glass hotel room.

Man says Bigfoot told him to kill his fishing partner. Fake cricket tournament scammed the Russians.

Free milkshake with proof of vasectomy! Ice cream that won't melt with a blowtorch?

Floridaman assaults elderly man to get rid of his demons. Floridaman exposes himself in a cemetery.

Mafia embraces homosexuality. Mayor marries an alligator in a dress to ensure abundance.

Man almost killed by Whistling Scrotum. Pooping in public is okay as long as no one is watching.

Threesome leads to 60 person fight on a cruise. Accidentally overpaid worker took the money and ran.

Florida pastor gets frisky on a Starbucks patio. Floridaman set his boss's future home on fire.

Annual Pickle Juice Drinking contest. Mystery rocket crashed on the moon and no one is claiming it.

Lady tries to smuggle 2 porcupines in her luggage. Bomb threat at the Explosion Museum.

Uber has grandpa's ashes and your lost pet turtle. Court grants man's wish to die by firing squad.

Fairies give the gift that ruins your life. Urine powered vehicles are making a splash.

Naked Florida woman lights things on fire "to celebrate". Man stole police car to solve crimes.

Amazon's Alexa will mimic your dead relative's voice. Mastercard launches its first music album.

Mites that have sex on your face may go extinct. Largest floating restaurant in the world has sunk.

No more urine in the elevator! Man drank 30 Pepsi's each day for 20 years.

Man refused his pregnancy status, denied blood donation. Canadians summoned to jury while shopping.

Floridaman punches ATM for giving him too much cash. Florida carjacks a street sweeper.

Sriracha sauce shortage is here! Annual Man vs. Horse Race won by a man.

Take Love Drugs and save your marriage! Hot air balloon crashes into a train.

Sexy trash cans talk dirty in Sweden. Google engineer suspended after saying the AI is sentient.

Elephant killed lady then attacked her body at funeral. Get paid to live with 100 cockroaches.

Floridaman bitten by gator he thought was a dog. Floridaman explodes at a party and no one knows why

Fake pee is illegal here. STD in a car leads to woman being paid $5million from GEICO insurance.

Airline cabin crews can show their tramp stamps. KFC swaps lettuce for cabbage amid lettuce shortage

Bloody Winnie the Pooh upsets police. Man divorced his wife for making too many instant noodles.

Bees are fish according to court ruling. Restaurant wants customers to lick their salty walls.

Fun Florida Slang Words. Floridaman missing and we think it's an alligator'a fault.

Should Metaverse murder be punished as real life crime? No more Elvis-themed weddings in Las Vegas.

Lady bites her sisters eyeball off. Period Crunch normalizes menstruation talk at breakfast table.

Man dressed as elderly lady attacked Mona Lisa with cake. Name changed to Salmon to get free sushi.

Circumcised penis argument leads to Floridaman arrest. It's hard to smoke meth and drive a truck.

Dolphins recognize each other by tasting urine. Sheep sentenced to 3 years in jail for killing lady.

Learn math on Pornhub! Jimi Hendrix's penis will be displayed in the Penis Museum.

Man chops off his penis because he loves cannabis. Outdoor cat ban in Germany to save the birds.

Is an elephant also a person? Entire town shuts down after their only clerk quits.

Florida woman attacks man with lettuce. Lady throws rubber snake at police. Florida Ice Ice Baby!