All Episodes
What's Your Problem With Nick Abbot and Carol McGiffin — 446 episodes
Unnaturally papped
Smamf in the shade
Buy me something expensive
Where's Monty?
They pass this test!
Dishevelled for ever
Ner, ner, ner, ner, ner
The hairy things that tickle your gums
Crawling is the law
How much money do they need?
A massive woofer
A comfortable seat
Pavement poetry
Happy clapping
The Space Hippy
Chocolate on the bottom?
Daring to DIY
What can Carol not do?
What are men like?
Sick and cringe
Going full Eurovision
Weird things in terrible places
Going dippy
Knack or neck
The grabby stick
A history lesson
What are you doing with that tripod?
The woke tree
Look...an emu!
Too real
Nuclear rainbow tablets
She likes him for his mind!
Peering through hair
Hot Quokka Action
Clementines for stupid people
Rude connotations
We're back!
We're on a break!
Click clack, not thunk thunk
The cleaner wears Gucci
Captain Mainwaring says "no"
Earworm alert!
Going to China on purpose
Highbrow and intellectual
Ticketed!
Nuh Hooz Ferra Swally?
Artificial stupidity
Carol "Three Dinners" McGiffin
The Giant Woofer
I can't get no reservation
Bleary-eyed and staggering
Mumble Mode
Untucked and dishevelled.
Keep that racket down!
Noises off
Wizardry and chemistry
The wheels fall off
Hat, coat, scarf and gloves
Sprouting
Not Available
Last year's feathers
Your wife's in aisle 14
A top-up
The undercover undertaker
Nibbling the baguette
'Allo!
The worst thing in the world
Kill 'em all!
Unloosening
Two dedicated non-followers of fashion
Apologies to Frankie Valli
The Turkey Issue
Having a fondule
The sound of minds being blown
The art of sitting down
There's no "P" in her "OOL"
Skipping
Page 89!
The Person Proficiency Test
Numb and Number
Pertinent
Awkward and Difficult
The Twingo Encounter
Spitballers
Suffering from Asteroids
Footie food
Doing time
Sweet sleepy music
Girl keeps swinging
Off her trolley
In a canoodle
Not sucking or blowing
The anonymous mover
"No" seems to be the hardest word
A couple of monkeys
Making a distinct noise
The truthful not stupid genius
Carol lets one go
Skipping through Ikea
Skulking around
Carol paps herself
The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Bowie
Not satisfactory
A twerking sensation
Hot buns!
A bad gooey
The Dead End
Bleeping Impossible
Is breathing good for you?
The imperfect host
Raining glue
In the dog house
The Topless Lunch
The "cow place"
Mid-life crisis trousers
Not suitable for children under 50
Knackers and Clackers
Sheep sharing
BBQ Wars!
Mickey Rourke has gone too far
Talking sheep
Air kisses
Fearlessly eating filth
Controversial roasties
Grumpy and Frumpy
All shook up
The idiots.
Checkin' the settin's
Bad careers advice
Elephant trousers
A Second World Problem
The Hot Box
The Festival of Sickness
Letting one go
Kicking the ice bucket
Trick lips
Big mistake...huge
The Death Wish List
Totally No Recall
The cash cow
Soup is very dangerous
Lady wants a gun
Replaced by a button
Posting a nudie
Grim down south
The wrong bag
The sex scene issue
The Special 300th Bumper Issue
Ogling the fire people
The debilitating madness of procrastination
Alighting while merry
Bezzies
Celebrity Street
Act normal!
A paralytic cooker
Pink jobs and blue jobs.
The Nightmare Lounge
Cutting the fun in half
I can see you!
A 4.5 Rupiah million bar bill.
In-flight starvation
Hangin' on the telephone
Quack, quack, oops.
Husky Do
"If I was a woman..."
Little'un Large
Respect the dongle!
Venus is a hottie
The Detritus!
When to skip lunch
A job lot of clobber
Worryingly agreeable
The Mad Axewoman of Hampstead
The Celebrity Slaughtering Machine
Butty derangement syndrome
Turning your pants inside out.
The jeans fetish
Staggering around the village
Spicy, not smelly
User error
Meeting Mr Blobby
The Vestment Divesters.
Nick and Carol are murderers
Gnaaaarrrrgh!
I was a teenage slut
Puppet Porn
The Plastic Flower Person
Knock, knock...
So Solid Who?
The Box and Bush
The Blah Blah Lane
The chat line
The telepathetic episode
Carol wins first prize
The ChatGPT query
The word is "taboo".
The Ruined 250th Episode
This episode is OK!
The Groovy Hip Swingers
What's Carol worth?
Knobbling a judge
Somewhat tardy.
A nap between feet
Low IQ Pandas.
Is my package in your box?
Not sure about the frogs.
Who's Mike?
Proper jobs
Taking pictures of pants
The one-footed pigeon
Woozy inducing
Carol tolerates Nick's inadequacies
Joanne's banned!
Asking for directions
Everyone's a winner
Yes "it" is
The danger element
A pre-used lover
Huey who?
Touching the thongs
Playing havoc with her 'do
The Rock 'n' Roll Wake
A Flobby Meal Deal
She's got the builders in.
A taptastrophic tilemageddon
Rocking by the sea
Living on the edge
Big jobs
A bloke walks in to a bar...
Sprinkled with Tinker Bell dust.
Noddy Holder's pool cleaner?
A perfectly normal visitor
Sticks with knobs on
The one hit wonders
So much expertise!
Hey sexy lady!
Problem...something...solution
Carol McGiffin is hot!
A real game of cat and mouse
Spanish ones are pants
Blue sky thinking
The most relaxing thing ever.
A bit of a lag
A newfangled episode
Problems with stools
No great shakes
Fascinating extractions
Oi! What's your problem?
We're Back!
The delivery man always rings twice
A bit woozy
Carol takes a trip
She's got things on the go
A stickler for the rules
The eight foot fake
The Dump Button
The Fat Day
Doughnuts, crisps and lard
KFC or Wimpy, Ibiza or Benidorm?
Coming round
Face ache
I'm doing the effin' podcast!
Inequality Street
Five courses of pasta
Umming and ahing
Repelling the tourists in Brighton
Overdosing on orange.
Drugs in chips
The Leaf of Death
A bit of a domestic
The Bouncing Boobies
Literally, OMG, do you actually know what I mean?
The apology issue
Mellow yellow
Mooses in the hooses.
The Class Issue
Carol bites her lip
Not in MY loo!
Wotzizname?
Elton John's wardrobe
A Horrible Hellhole
Fun with sausages
My wood is no-one's business
Language Alert!
Getting away with a wig
Worst. Bond. Ever.
How big is Brad Pitt?
Just one squirt
Carry On Killing
Dionne Warwick was my dinner date
Getting flushed.
It was the chair!
Minding our P's and Q's
What's the recipe today Carol?
A science experiment
It's a bar-tastrophe!
Things that go pffft in the night
Talking rubbish
Carol does Southampton
The Big Christmas Special
A series of holiday nightmares
The eating issue
Who dealt it?
Let's get ready to rumble.
What's going on?
The problem with problems
The Good News Week
Carol gets a boost.
A Woman on the Edge
The Boinking Gnomes
The delivery man buzzes twice
A problem with cheese
A Thai massage and a bag of chips.
Pill packet rage
The bums episode
Carol does the dance
The flashing gnome
The Lost Tape
The rise of the chipmunk
Never next to a pool
Bopping in the shop
Rethinking dogs
Carol’s got a code id her dose
Nick and Carol do art
The Restaurant Incident
Fun with candles
Warning lights flashing
Talkin’ proper
A holiday expert speaks
The Breast Stroke Issue
Birds, cats and rats
Blowing in the wind
Artificial unintelligence
That’s a fat cat!
Peanuts stuck in your teeth
Rocking, not rolling
Eating dirt does you good
Shooting potatoes
Snogging in the coal shed
Chucked out of parliament.
Don’t swallow that gum!
Fun with dairy!
The problem with babies
The least helpful episode of all
You saw a mouse? Where?
A tip: Don’t tip twice!
The 100th Episode!
A bit too much happiness
The Proper Stopper
Doing stupid things
The latest f*****g episode.
Don't tell your boss!
50 years too late
Drifting
The Land of the Frozen Poop
Don't eat that bun!
Snogging the boss
An offer you shouldn't accept
Telling your boss what you think
The unreleased practice session
Not ordinary, extra-ordinary
A bad influence
Nick and Carol for dinner
The Nickers Issue
The Kiss of Death
Nick's Birthday Special
Can you hear me? A History with Nick and Carol.
Lying about your age
So, it is what it is.
The things you can find in a library!
Chucking bottles with Sophia Loren
Back to front
Rooting through the bins
The Whacky Waving Inflatable Tube
Picking the wrong queue at the supermarket
Unwrinkling your pants
Walking naked through a restaurant.
A tattoo of what on your where?
Pudding for breakfast
Where's Cher?
Sailing close to the wind
The Great Red Ball Mystery
Didn't we do well?
Bond...Mr and Mrs James Bond
What species is that?
How this all started
Nick's never gonna give you up!
Carol hums!
My brain's all shook up.
Welcome to the future!
Learning to love again
Someone famous is following me
Slip sliding away
Filthy habits
Nick and Carol do electrical engineering
Excellent names for a rock band.
How to be not funny
The word is: "ritual"
A Christmas Carol and Nick
Getting your tubes cleaned
Too much googling
The all singing episode
Breakfast in a tin
Where to find love up a country lane
Winning the National Lottery!
The sizzling sex episode
Caught short with nowhere to go
Neighbours that go bump in the night
Carol does her nut
Carol gets corrected
Is everybody happy?
Sausages and dingleberries
Saved by the banana
Over or under?
Caravanning with Mother
Gone fishing
Toilet roll origami
Everyone annoys me!
Throwing your pint in someone's face
The fresh air between my sheets
One word: MASSIVE!
Are you after some business?
Shut that drawer!
Letting out gas on a plane
To shave or not to shave
Keeping tabs on your stuff
The perfect excuse
We can see up your nose!
Spelling "HELP" with Alphabetti Spaghetti
Who to leave your cow with
Donald Duck's got no pants on
Millions of screaming kids
Winging it
A cat leaves a present for a dog
Guess who else is coming to dinner
A little too much adorableness
What are we allowed to say these days?
The worst dog's name ever
I've had millions of jobs and I've mentally been to Australia
Cats have brains and I'm never going on a cruise
I never tell the truth and superfood is garbage
I don't want to work in an office and Tom Cruise is alright
Newsreaders used to wear cardigans and dogs are stupid
We're soft and animals will work out that we won't fight back
A 65" telly is ridiculous and I don't want a bigger one
Oxford Street is hideous and I don't remember anyone's name