05 - The connection between sex, intimacy, and vulnerability - Interview with Daniel Leibowtiz from the Intimacy Institute (Part 1)

We all seek connection with those around us because it’s an innate human need. There are many ways we connect. We have casual conversations with our friends and small talk with strangers and acquaintances. Typically, we seek a deeper more intimate connection with our loved ones, and yet sometimes it’s surprisingly difficult to get there. Despite years of living together, deep love, and an everlasting commitment, it can still be difficult to talk about certain needs and desires. This is all the more so true in a newer relationship. In this potent conversation, Daniel and I transcend taboos to explore the territory of intimacy and vulnerability. We learn about what Daniel does as a sex therapist and he shares insights, useful advice, and tips around how we can improve our relationships and sexual connections. “What isn’t working in your sex life? How can you develop a vision of what you to cultivate in terms of a healthy relationship to your sexuality?” Daniel shares how to overcome the awkwardness of talking about sex and the importance of vulnerability. We discuss and important new metaphor for sex (https://www.ted.com/talks/al_vernacchio_sex_needs_a_new_metaphor_here_s_one) and we explore why we avoid speaking up about what we’re most thirsty for. Some additional topics include: - Why Suffering in Silence around sexual connection is harmful for everyone and how to better communicate with your partner about sex. - We explore of the commonality of sexual dissatisfaction in men and women and what can be done about it. - We discuss the place of power and privilege in conversation around sex, sexual pleasure, and intimacy. “Rather than saying any one group should be silenced or not heard either because we don’t agree with that group or because they’ve had power, or for any reason, ends up defeating the purpose of all of working to develop ourselves in a way that creates individual change on a community level”. - We explore the obstacles to intimacy for men and how men can go beyond that. Men avoid intimacy with other men in general. - Why it’s a common mistake for men look to get ALL of their intimacy needs from their romantic relationships. and how to grow beyond that. Murky unclear set of emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy needs. Don’t know how to articulate, what’s in the basket. - We also explore how Daniel is modeling healthy manhood and fatherhood for his sons. Come on, it doesn’t get much better than that! ;-) I think this is a really important episode and believe that there’s something out there for everyone to learn here. If you listen and enjoy it, please share with a friend or a family member that will enjoy it, and most importantly, put what you learn to use. Start a vulnerable conversation and see where it goes. Think about what you want from your sexual life and talk about it with a friend. Explore vulnerability and intimacy with someone other than lover. A lot of the change our culture needs will start right here in these conversations. Feel free to comment or get in touch with questions etc. Contact me: [email protected] or Daniel via www.theintimacyinstittue.org As always, thanks for listening!