10. The Journey of Spiritual Awakening - Who are You, Really?

This episode is a walk-through my journey of awakening and some of the precious lessons I’ve learned throughout it. Lessons not isolated to a journey of awakening, but lessons so intertwined with life, that we all seem to learn them at some point or another, in our own way. We are not separate and we never were. The light you see in others is too within you - and your access to it comes from a willingness to learn. To be open.In this episode, I talk about - Interconnectedness. My own journey.What death has taught me. Learning to trust the sixth sense, gut instinct. How to trust your intuition & not talk yourself out of your dreams.The inevitable impermanence of it all. Detachment. Learning to trust that every step and mis-step on your journey, every cataclysm, every burst of being, is for your evolvement. Surrender & Relinquishing of control.We are all just here. Walking each other home. -----------------------------It seems like everything that could have gone wrong with this episode, did. Recording was loud and clumsy. My camera was set to slow motion and didn’t pick up any audio. As I found flow editing, I lost a folder with all of my cut-down clips. I spent an hour trying to find it. Searching through files, downloading recovery software. In the sake and name of what this episode is, I figure it makes a lot of sense. ------ Soul Consciousness.I was 14 when I watched my grandfather take his last breath. It was the first time I remember having an inner inclination that the life force within us cannot simply dissipate and fade away into nothingness.That there just might be something more. Somewhere, I knew that he was not really gone. Irregardless of if he traveled upon a plane of existence unbeknownst to my mortal humanity, I felt his life’s blood through me. I felt his lived experiences in my heart and in my bones, and I knew that as long as I was alive, he would be too - as he lived through me and with me, whether it was all that he gave to me in this physical realm and the patriarchal fortress he built upon our family, Or somewhere very far away yet, not far away enough to be a point of guiding light in the ambiguity of my life. ----- Relinquishing control & surrendering to the flux of it all, knowing that sometimes things just don’t end up the way we want them to, and no amount of willing can surmount the inevitable forces that may just be redirection. Or maybe not. But maybe that’s not ours to know. The challenges, the tests, the lessons - the ones that never stop. Even once when we awaken to them, when we can spot the patterns and be an objective dimension in our own lives. We are here to learn. To remember and to forget. Over and over again. From darkness I have found light - I think that’s the only way. I found a home in my spirit - which is not so different from yours. ---- SOCIALS: Spiritual & Self-Help Advice -> TikTok: butterflyfountain Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitoutPersonal Instagram: @222vgf Youtube: @figuringshitout (Vanessa Fontana / Butterfly Fountain)Support the showAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy