126 - What Else Are You Gonna Do?

For the last few weeks we’ve been looking at The Big Three challenges in dating with a disability - Communicating with potential dates, figuring out how to meet people, and issues that are specific to disability, such as accessibility and transportation. I would easily argue that most people dating, disability or not, struggles with the first two. If you haven’t listened to them, I would encourage you to do a little binge session, beginning with The Big Three and then the following episodes that break down each of the challenges while offering guidance in finding solutions for them. Dating with a disability can present unique challenges, often compounded by societal misconceptions and prejudices. It's not uncommon for individuals with disabilities to express feelings of unworthiness or doubt regarding their desirability in the dating realm. However, I want to discuss today about how whatever challenge you’re encountering with dating is something that can be figured out. I know that may seem like an oversimplified way to encourage you, but the biggest factor that has influenced my ability to get what I want in life is my ability to believe that whatever problem or challenge I’m dealing with can be figured out. By the way, a terrific book I recommend on this topic is Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. I know when you live with a disability, a lot of things don’t feel figureoutable, especially when it comes to how other people react and respond to you in social and dating settings. But let me ask you this, what else are you going to do? Are you going to let one of your biggest dreams go because it feels too hard? I hope not. I often say if a dream of having a partner is on your heart, it’s there for a reason, it meant to fulfill you and your life. Oh but it takes work, huh? You may have to improve your skills, work through your fear of rejection, and keep trying different things until something clicks. But again, what else are you going to do? Accept a smaller life for yourself? Get used to the loneliness? Always wonder what might have been? This is why for the rest of my career i am dedicated to helping whoever wants to figure out what I call the dating puzzle. And that includes both people with and without disabilities. The thing is that as a society we don’t approach dating as a problem to be figured out or a set of skills to be developed. We tend think of it as some people can do it and others can’t. That’s BS and that kind of thinking will only lead to disappointment. It’s a process to figure out dating and develop skills. But again, what else are you gonna do? That’s why in the Dating Made Easier membership, every month we focus on skills and figuring out the unique dating dilemmas members are experiencing. We do this through giving people tools to better equipped them for going out and meeting people. Today I want to give you a peek at two of the tools we use inside of Dating Made Easier. Identifying one's Power to Attract and utilizing the Attracting the Right Partner method. These two techniques help culltivate self-worth and clarity in their search for meaningful relationships. To begin, recognizing and harnessing one's Power to Attract is essential. Each person possesses inherent qualities that make them lovable and worthy of love. Whether it's kindness, intelligence, humor, or compassion, these attributes transcend physical appearance or ability. By embracing these qualities, individuals with disabilities can bolster their confidence and understand that they have much to offer in a relationship. Moreover, cultivating self-love and acceptance is integral to unlocking one's Power to Attract. Society's narrow standards of beauty and desirability often perpetuate feelings of inadequacy among individuals with disabilities. However, by embracing their uniqueness and celebrating our strengths, we can radiate confidence and attract partners who appreciate them for who they are, rather than focusing solely on their disability. Furthermore, the Attracting the Right Partner method provides a framework for individuals to discern compatible and supportive partners. This approach encourages individuals to reflect on their values, interests, and relationship goals, thereby gaining clarity on the type of partner they seek. By defining their ideal relationship dynamic and setting boundaries, individuals can navigate the dating landscape with intentionality and confidence. Additionally, fostering a supportive network of friends, family, and community allies can enhance one's journey towards finding a compatible partner. These individuals can offer guidance, encouragement, and companionship, serving as a source of strength and affirmation. By surrounding themselves with positive influences, individuals with disabilities can cultivate a sense of belonging and worthiness, which is integral to attracting the right partner. Embracing vulnerability and authenticity in dating can foster deeper connections and mutual understanding. Rather than concealing their disability or downplaying your needs, individuals can embrace their authentic selves and communicate openly with potential partners. This transparency not only fosters trust but also attracts partners who are compassionate, understanding, and accepting of their unique circumstances. You also feel more real to other people. Reframing perceived limitations as opportunities for growth and resilience can empower individuals with disabilities in their dating journey. Adversity often cultivates strength, empathy, and resilience, qualities that are highly valued in relationships. By embracing their experiences and lessons learned, individuals can exude confidence and resilience, thereby attracting partners who admire their strength and character. I would then encourage you to seek out inclusive and accessible dating platforms and communities can expand opportunities for individuals with disabilities to connect with potential partners. These platforms prioritize inclusivity and cater to the diverse needs and preferences of individuals with disabilities, fostering a supportive environment for meaningful connections to flourish. Navigating the dating world as a person with a disability can be challenging, but it's essential to recognize that love and companionship are not restricted by physical ability or appearance. By embracing their Power to Attract and utilizing the Attracting the Right Partner method, you can cultivate self-worth, clarity, and intentionality in their search for meaningful relationships. Through self-love, authenticity, and resilience, you attract partners who appreciate and cherish them for who they are, fostering deep and fulfilling connections that transcend societal misconceptions and prejudices. If you haven’t already, you really need to check out what we’re doing in Dating Made Easier and the magic we’re creating. People who haven’t dated in years are joining speed dating events, dating apps, and allowing friends to introduce them to potential partners. Join today to get in on tomorrow night’s monthly skill building workshop, How to Meet People. And if you’re listening to this after March 6, you can still join and watch the replay. Check out our Dating Memberships: Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate