63 - When You Get NO Response

There are a lot of hard parts of dating - having the courage to put yourself out there, facing the possibility of rejection, getting hurt, having difficult conversations, and the list can go on and on. Sometimes it certainly may not feel worth it, but it is, especially if you want to share your life with someone. Today I want to talk about a dating difficulty that wasn’t on that brief list - putting yourself out there and receiving no response at all. It’s a rejection but not a direct one. It can sometimes feel worse than a direct one because you think, What, I’m not even worthy of a response?This is a very common problem for all people dating. Many people don’t have the skills to communicate hard things like “Thank you so much for the offer, but I have other plans or I’m not interested.” We think we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, but downright ignoring someone’s interest in you is not exactly kind eitherHow To Handle No ResponseAs I see it, there are basically two ways to respond to no response. You can obviously do nothing about it. Let it go. Write it off. Move on. The key in all this is to not internalize it as rejection. You have no concrete reason why they didn’t respond so don’t make it something negative about you. If they don’t have effective communication skills, that’s on them, not you. Don’t use no response against yourself.Remind yourself it’s their loss. Congratulate yourself that it was terrific that you put yourself out there and took a risk. Also remember as with most things in life, the more you get a no, the closer you get to a yes.The alternative to not saying anything to someone not responding to you at all is, of course, to say something. Circle back. Say, “Hey, I mentioned us doing XYZ and never heard from you. Could you tell me what’s going on?”Yes, this is a more bold option. But if it’s calling to you to not ignore a no response, then go for it. I would just recommend doing it in a more matter of fact way and not an emotional way. If you do react emotionally rather than try to have a conversation, you may prove to the person why they didn’t respond to your invite. Also with this option, don’t internalize what the other person says. Remember, there’s another way of looking at rejection. Rejection is simply someone else’s preference. It’s not about you, who you are, or what you’re about.Where Do We Go From Here? It’s not fun to work up the courage to reach out to someone and express interest, only to receive no response or follow up. But what else are you going to do? You have to put yourself out there if you have that dream in your heart about finding your person. Putting yourself out there is how you do that.Keep doing it. Keep showing up for yourself, not them. If you don’t get a response to asking someone out, decide if you’re gCheck out our Dating Memberships:Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation | Artwork photo by Elevate