EPISODE · Nov 9, 2022 · 22 MIN
firsTime sharing "Flo' Is the Intro"
from SMARTER THAN TRAUMA Podcast · host SMART E MC
Send us Fan MailAfter regaining my voice after losing it entirely & impossible to NOT HEAR the mumbling & outpourings (frustrations & "trauma" at the time I didn't realize was going to be the foundation for STEP ONE in combination with NWMH [Northwestern Memorial Hospital, Chicago, IL] of those around me, mostly the person sabotaging my cat & myself (who picks a storage unit that is on South Side when we live on North side?) my words first bubbled up in rhyme.I was able to find that first phone (Samsung) that recorded it & when I listened, it's pretty alarming. That is recorded somewhere in the internet since I created 23+ sites to contain what we know as ptsd, but what I've called "p"ictures, "t"ouches, "s"ounds disordered because they're lyin' & prefer to remain shock & awe.The fact I'm podcasting much sooner than the deadlines lets me know I have more than 2 days in a row back. Meaning, if today is Monday & I have to do something Thursday, my body will revolt until it's closer to that day, reliving the ANXIETY, ANTICIPATION & DREAD of having to sit with NWMH specialists for their DBT/CBT since they require a one-on-one psychologist who prescribes Rx even though I was very clear that I would not take Rx & wanted "to do this cognitively & behaviorally."I'm starting to add media which is the "noise" that actually taught me to drown out the other noise before I built up the stamina to talk & talk & talk---my voice & my words DROWNS OUT theirs---& I created multiple YouTube channels to identify what words were #THEBEST for trauma, beginning with the phone calls from 9/11 since these were first person accounts & artifacts of history, human experience/condition/reflection, sadness, grief & visualizing/imagining the horror of knowing... yup... this is it. 9/11 because I called 911 & all 4 police officers told me WRONG INFORMATION so youTube & those videos/voices in grainy grays & unambiguous acquiescence combatted THAT TRAUMA.So, what does that mean?As I listened to NEWS, my body responded, mostly with wildly overactive & throbbing/burning nerve pain in my fingertips only dampened by repetitive movements & why, knowing what I know now after 9 years recovery (round 1 in 2013 & round 2 in 2015) is that all the things I made for my wedding, non-stop, was what was helping NERVE PAIN so I just moved my fingers, literally using pens until the ink went dry to know, "it's over." The issue with physical with mental abuse is the back-and-forth toggle between the two creates intensity & severity at any time, and if you have chronic pain due to nerve radiculopathy & muscles that just don't work is that pain is reinforced as good until it's very very very bad. I'll elaborate more on this & thank you to the couple who allowed me to relive the impossible---male/female tag twats*.*tag team implies helping & in this case, this duo are in cahoots. How many more tag twats will we uncover along this quest? ***there is no audio of 9/11 in this podcast***SmarterThanTrauma™©SMART E MC MEDIA : Virginia Woolf’s voice, 1937 – "Craftsmanship" (with the closing lines), BBC broadcast / subtitled | betapicts | https://youtu.be/zcbY04JrMaUCaptain Sir Tom Moore Reflects On Wartime Memories & Future Ambitions | Piers Morgan's Life Stories | ITV | https://youtu.be/LkZZgqskKSEAccidental ASMR | Phantom Thread Entire ASMR Scene | Team ASMR | https://youtu.be/cK64jw_PFYwSupport the show
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firsTime sharing "Flo' Is the Intro"
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