golf

golfing on portfolio day. songs are "You're the Best" by Joe Esposito and "Heat of the Moment" by Asia. following is a list of rules we made up for EXTREME GOLF! 1. maybe get air horns, souped up carts, and um free swiss cake rolls 2. and while you're trying to hit the ball, people in those faux sumo suits will come and jump on you 3. and all you have to defend your self is silly string and madonna CDs. 4. and every 20 minutes the course would be flooded by 7 feet of water 5. with lions and sharks swimmin' around. then if you hit under par ... PYROTECHNICS!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6. if you hit the ball into the sand trap, you have to jump on the back of a moped and hit the ball while you scoot by. 7. but the whole time while all this is going on, your attached to the middle of the course by a bungy chord 8. and at random intervals, machines would start chuckin' dodgeballs every where 9. and the course is made of astroturf on thick foam on hydralics that go up and down randomly. but not like every 3 secods, like every 4:30-6:00 so it'll always catch you off guard 10. and, and. umm. i'm running outa ideas. one of your clubs has to be an electric guitar. and um, oh henry? 11. and there would be an angry frenchmen in a cage that would be released if the fucked up. and he would have a big bottle of wine to smash over the refs head 12. and before you tee-off, you HAVE to perform some type of robot dance 13. and if one of the founding members of styx doesn't like it. you have to run through the ass paddler 14. and depending on the redness of your ass, you could trigger the "baboozle" which is when, umm, whipping cream and melted cheese is sprayed onto the course and the person to eat the most wins a free session to an alcoholics anonymous meeting