Pearl Was a Bit of a Whore

EPISODE · Oct 31, 2011 · 4 MIN

Pearl Was a Bit of a Whore

from Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

Pearl was a bit of a whore.We never kept her in a fenceSo she had puppies at least once a year.She was a good mother.Abandoned in the country, starving,We found her when I was in third grade.She knew she was my dog immediately.God help you if you got mad at me.A blur of fur and teeth and little-dog roaringAwaited you halfway to me. No one ever calledPearl’s bluff because they knew she wasn’t bluffing.I think I learned loyalty from Pearl.Her oversized sense of protectivenessExtended to the house a little, too.But not much.We lived on a small riseAt the end of a long driveway.We would see her asleep on the porch in the sunshineBut when the crunch of tires on gravel reached her earsShe would leap like Wonder Woman off the porchAnd race to the far end of the yard,Barking the whole while,Careful never to look our way.She’d bark at the unseen burglarThen cut and run a different way toStop and bark at other phantoms.The shutting of a car doorMade her look our way, startled,As if to say, “Oh, you’re back already?When did you arrive?”And then she would trot with great pride,Paws lifted a little too highHer head swinging back and forthAs if to say, “Aren’t I wonderful?”“Pearl, you’re wonderful,” I would sayBecause she knew her job and I knew mine.In later years I stepped from the kitchenInto the garage to see her curledWith a small cat under her foreleg,It’s head snuggled beneath her chin, friendsLaid down for a nap.The screen door springs closed with a clapAnd Pearl lifts her bleary eyes, “What was that?”She looks up to see me,With a cat in her bed.Standing slowly to her feetPearl gives a soft “woof,”As if to whisper,“The boss is here.”The cat, knowing her job, too,Stands,Looks at me,Looks at Pearl,Then trots out the garageAnd around the corner.Pearl gives me one more lookThen chases the catTo do her duty.Later, I walk outsideAnd see Pearl beside the houseIn the soft sunshineLaid down for a napWith her friend.Forty years laterI walk aroundanother house500 miles away,And secretly hope toSee Pearl and the catOne last time.– Roy H. Williams

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Pearl Was a Bit of a Whore

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