Third and Fourth Quarter Game Plans: Spirituality in the Second Half of Life (Regina Sara Ryan)

Longevity has become an obsession and looking young mythologized. Tasks of the first and second halves of life are considered. The first is about establishing identity, security, and sex and gender orientation. Five tasks of the second half of life are discussed: emptying, taking care of unfinished business, making a sacrament of the present moment, cultivating elder wisdom, and building spiritual friendship. There is obviously overlap of tasks in the two halves. It isn’t possible to make a completely clean exit from life, but part of this work involves giving away and gifting, which can be a joy, and forgiveness and reconciliation, which may need to happen internally. In the first half of life we attach to work, children, homes, dreams of success; the second half involves detaching and remaining in love with what we’re detaching from. We tend to take death personally, but it’s possible to “go through the goalposts” with dignity and bravery. There is a distinction between aging and growing in wisdom. The counterbalance to the culture’s messages can be to reclaim and model dignity, grace, and authentic power. Many of us haven’t had wise elder parents or grandparents, but we can recognize and honor the wise elders we have—some of whom may kick ass and offer more than just being sweet. We can harvest our own wisdom and read to remember what we already know. Our culture is ritually bereft, but we can ritualize elder wisdomhood. What has our heart opened to that we want to leave to the next generation? Our reputation is going to go. Can we encounter and work with that now? Being ordinary is not a choice but a freedom if we no longer have pretensions. Regina Sara Ryan was the editor of Hohm Press for 35 years. She is a workshop leader, retreat guide, and author of The Woman Awake, Igniting the Inner Life, Praying Dangerously, Only God, and other books.