When There’s Nothing Left to Be Strong For with Shelley Washington

Being the strong one can feel like something you don’t question, especially when it’s been a part of your life for as long as you can remember. This episode is story six of the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, where Black women share what being strong has cost them, and the kind of support that could have made a difference. In this conversation, Shelley Washington shares what it meant to carry the role of being the strong one across generations, and what it cost her over time. Strength was something she inherited. Something she was known for. Something she was expected to be. But when her mother’s health began to decline, that role took on a different weight. Shelley found herself holding everything together for her family, showing up, managing what needed to be managed, and continuing to move forward even as grief was building underneath the surface. Until she reached a moment where she couldn’t do it anymore. From leaving the hospital and breaking down in a way she never had before, to walking into her childhood home after her mother passed, to realizing that the version of strength she had been carrying no longer fit her life, this conversation explores what happens when there’s nothing left to pull from. We talk about grief, emotional exhaustion, generational expectations, and what it means to finally say that you don’t want to carry it the same way anymore. Shelley also shares what it looked like to ask for help and not receive it, and how that moment shifted the way she understands support. This episode holds space for the truth that being the strong one is not something you owe anyone. And that there comes a point where continuing to carry it the same way is no longer possible. Shelley’s story reflects a deep need for Mindful Care, the kind of support that shows up without being asked and reminds you that you matter, even when you’re not holding everything together. If you’ve ever felt like being the strong one became your identity, this conversation will stay with you. If you’re starting to realize that you don’t have anything left to give in the way you used to, this may be the moment where something begins to shift. If you’re realizing you don’t have anything left to give the way you used to, you don’t have to figure out what comes next on your own. The Support Languages™ assessment can help you get clearer on the kind of support that actually meets you:  shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages. About Shelley Washingtyon Shelley Washington is a faith leader, community advocate, and someone who cares deeply about creating spaces where people can show up as their full selves. She serves as a pastor in Houston and works closely with Black LGBTQ+ communities through her role with The Normal Anomaly Initiative, supporting people in ways that center care, connection, and real-life needs. Shelley also created Be OWT Ministries, a space where faith, identity, and authenticity can exist together without apology. Her work is grounded in making sure people feel seen, supported, and like they belong, not just in theory, but in real, everyday ways. At the heart of everything she does is a desire to build community, tell the truth, and remind people that they don’t have to carry everything on their own. Connect with Shelley Washington Instagram | TikTok | Mrs and Mrs The Podcast About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.