Shades of Strong® Podcast | From “Strong Black Woman” to Supported Black Woman

Sometimes support for Black women looks like finally deciding not to keep explaining yourself into emotional exhaustion. In this Support Pause, Shirl explores the emotional cost of constantly going back and forth with people who are committed to misunderstanding you. From family dynamics to friendships, work conversations, and relationships, many Black women have been conditioned to overexplain themselves, defend their boundaries, and stay inside emotionally draining conversations far longer than necessary. Using the familiar lyric “I’m living my best life… ain’t going back and forth with you”, this episode unpacks the deeper truth underneath that line: peace is a form of support too. This conversation explores: emotional exhaustion and constant emotional labor why some conversations leave your nervous system overwhelmed the difference between healthy communication and emotional chaos overexplaining as a survival habit trying to force understanding from emotionally unavailable people why protecting your peace is not the same as avoiding communication emotional safety and unsupported conversations the pressure Black women feel to constantly defend themselves If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling emotionally drained, anxious, unheard, or stuck replaying everything you said afterward, this Support Pause is for you. And sis… if being strong isn’t working anymore, the Support Languages™ Assessment can help you better understand the kind of support your life may be asking for in this season. Take the assessment: shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages Listen to the support pause here:   About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Assessment and learn how you actually receive support best. Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram and Threads for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show: shadesofstrong.com/beourguest www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

What would you say to your younger self today? In this deeply personal Support Pause, Shirl reflects on sitting crisscross applesauce on the living room floor watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show and dreaming about becoming a writer long before life got loud. This support pause explores what happens when responsibilities, caregiving, survival, and being “the dependable one” slowly push our dreams to the background. It’s a conversation about reconnecting with the parts of ourselves that still need support, creativity, softness, rest, and room to dream. Because sometimes the dream never really leaves us. And maybe… we really are gonna make it after all. Listen to the support pause here:   About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Assessment and learn how you actually receive support best. Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram and Threads for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show: shadesofstrong.com/beourguest www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

We just closed the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, and I’m still sitting with what it revealed. Not just the individual stories, but the thread that ran through all of them. This episode isn’t a recap. It’s a reflection on what happens when Black women are given the space to tell the truth in real time, before everything is figured out, before the voice steadies, before the story is cleaned up. Across this series, women from completely different lives shared what being “strong” has cost them. Different backgrounds. Different responsibilities. Different realities. But the feeling underneath it all was the same. In this episode, I’m sitting with what stayed with me after holding space for those conversations, including what it means that some stories were shared publicly, and some were not. Because that matters too. Key Takeaways  What happens when Black women tell the truth in real time Why strength shows up the same, no matter what life looks like The difference between sharing a story and being ready to be seen in it What these stories revealed about support If you listened to the series, this episode brings the thread together. If you’re just finding your way here, this is a place to begin. Because what these stories made clear is that this conversation is bigger than any one episode. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Assessment and learn how you actually receive support best. Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram and Threads for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show: shadesofstrong.com/beourguest www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Radiah Shabazz Harold was doing what so many women are used to doing. Managing responsibilities.Taking care of what needed to be done.Showing up, even when it wasn’t easy. From the outside, it looked like she had everything under control. But inside, she was carrying more than most people realized. In this episode, Radiah shares what it felt like to move through life while managing chronic illness, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure to keep going. She talks about what it’s like to be seen as capable, dependable, and strong… while quietly struggling in ways no one is acknowledging. There’s a moment she walks us into that makes everything clear. A situation that highlights just how invisible she felt, even while doing everything right. Not because she wasn’t showing up…but because no one was paying attention to what it was costing her. Radiah opens up about what it looks like to begin shifting out of that space. Learning how to honor her body, her limits, and her needs without feeling like she has to explain or justify it. She shares what it means to move differently now. To choose rest. To create boundaries. And to allow herself to be seen in a more honest way. This conversation is about what happens when you keep showing up while feeling unseen… and what it takes to finally acknowledge that you deserve to be supported too. If you’re starting to recognize what it feels like to be unseen while carrying so much, the Support Languages™ assessment can help you understand the kind of support that meets you where you are:  shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages. About Radiah Shabazz Harold Radiah Shabazz Harold is someone who knows what it means to keep going, even when her body and mind are asking her to slow down. She’s a communications professional with a background in journalism and social work, and her work is deeply rooted in racial justice, Black liberation, and telling stories that matter. But beyond her credentials, she’s also a mother, a wife, and a woman navigating life with chronic illness in real time. Living with lupus and Sjogren’s has shaped how she moves through the world, forcing her to pay attention to her body, her limits, and what she truly needs. That lived experience sits alongside her professional work, giving her a perspective that is both grounded and deeply personal. Radiah is also an emerging writer, drawn to storytelling as a way to explore truth, healing, and possibility. Whether she’s writing, working, or simply living her life, she is committed to creating space for something different… a life that honors both wellness and liberation. Connect with Radiah Shabazz Harld Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

  When work becomes your identity, it can be hard to recognize where your job ends and you begin. This episode is story seven of the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, where Black women share what being strong has cost them, and the kind of support that could have made a difference. In this conversation, Joyel Crawford shares what it looked like to build a career around meeting expectations, showing up, and constantly delivering, even at the expense of her own well-being. For years, she kept going. Working long hours. Pushing through exhaustion. Ignoring the signals her body was sending. Until those signals became impossible to ignore. From insomnia and stress-related health issues, to being told by doctors that the environment she was in was taking a serious toll on her health, this conversation explores what happens when overworking becomes more than just a habit. It becomes who you are. We talk about burnout, avoidance, and the realization that leaving a job doesn’t automatically break the pattern. Because even after walking away, Joyel found herself recreating the same cycle in her own business. This episode also explores the moment she began to see that work was never meant to carry the weight of her identity. And what it looked like to start separating who she is from what she does. Joyel shares how she began the process of “divorcing” herself from constant productivity, and how that shift opened the door to rest, self-awareness, and a different way of living. Her story reflects a deep need for Mindful Care, the kind of support that helps you slow down, check in with yourself, and respond to what you actually need in the moment. If you’ve ever felt like your value was tied to how much you produce, this conversation will feel familiar. And if you’re starting to realize that something about the way you’ve been working is no longer sustainable, this may be the moment to begin thinking about it differently. If you’re starting to realize that work has taken up more space in your life than you ever intended, you don’t have to sort that out on your own. The Support Languages™ assessment can help you understand the kind of support that actually fits you:  shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages. About Joyel Crawford Joyel Crawford is a career coach, speaker, and founder of Crawford Leadership Strategies, where she helps people rethink how they show up at work and advocate for themselves in ways that actually feel sustainable. After spending years in corporate leadership, Joyel now works with organizations and individuals who are trying to lead, communicate, and build careers without losing themselves in the process. She’s also the author of Show Your Ask and host of the Career View Mirror podcast, where she talks openly about work, identity, and what it really takes to find your voice. Joyel’s work is shaped by her own experience with burnout and overworking, and her commitment to helping others break those same cycles in real life. Connect with Joyel Crawford Instagram | LinkedIn | TikTok About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Being the strong one can feel like something you don’t question, especially when it’s been a part of your life for as long as you can remember. This episode is story six of the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, where Black women share what being strong has cost them, and the kind of support that could have made a difference. In this conversation, Shelley Washington shares what it meant to carry the role of being the strong one across generations, and what it cost her over time. Strength was something she inherited. Something she was known for. Something she was expected to be. But when her mother’s health began to decline, that role took on a different weight. Shelley found herself holding everything together for her family, showing up, managing what needed to be managed, and continuing to move forward even as grief was building underneath the surface. Until she reached a moment where she couldn’t do it anymore. From leaving the hospital and breaking down in a way she never had before, to walking into her childhood home after her mother passed, to realizing that the version of strength she had been carrying no longer fit her life, this conversation explores what happens when there’s nothing left to pull from. We talk about grief, emotional exhaustion, generational expectations, and what it means to finally say that you don’t want to carry it the same way anymore. Shelley also shares what it looked like to ask for help and not receive it, and how that moment shifted the way she understands support. This episode holds space for the truth that being the strong one is not something you owe anyone. And that there comes a point where continuing to carry it the same way is no longer possible. Shelley’s story reflects a deep need for Mindful Care, the kind of support that shows up without being asked and reminds you that you matter, even when you’re not holding everything together. If you’ve ever felt like being the strong one became your identity, this conversation will stay with you. If you’re starting to realize that you don’t have anything left to give in the way you used to, this may be the moment where something begins to shift. If you’re realizing you don’t have anything left to give the way you used to, you don’t have to figure out what comes next on your own. The Support Languages™ assessment can help you get clearer on the kind of support that actually meets you:  shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages. About Shelley Washingtyon Shelley Washington is a faith leader, community advocate, and someone who cares deeply about creating spaces where people can show up as their full selves. She serves as a pastor in Houston and works closely with Black LGBTQ+ communities through her role with The Normal Anomaly Initiative, supporting people in ways that center care, connection, and real-life needs. Shelley also created Be OWT Ministries, a space where faith, identity, and authenticity can exist together without apology. Her work is grounded in making sure people feel seen, supported, and like they belong, not just in theory, but in real, everyday ways. At the heart of everything she does is a desire to build community, tell the truth, and remind people that they don’t have to carry everything on their own. Connect with Shelley Washington Instagram | TikTok | Mrs and Mrs The Podcast About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Being the one everyone depends on can feel like second nature, especially when you’ve spent years showing up, figuring things out, and holding everything together without question. This episode is story five of the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, where Black women share what being strong has cost them, and the kind of support that could have made a difference. In this conversation, Dr. Candice Dawson shares what it looks like to carry the responsibility of caring for her parents while also raising her children and managing the day-to-day demands of her own life. Dr. Dawson has always been the one who handles it. The one people call. The one who figures it out. But over time, that level of responsibility began to take a toll in ways she could no longer ignore. From constantly being on the move, to feeling like she was being pulled in multiple directions, to realizing that even when she asked for help it didn’t always show up the way she needed, this conversation explores what it means to live under the weight of being the one everyone depends on. We talk about caregiving, family expectations, and the reality of trying to balance everything without losing yourself in the process. This episode also holds space for the moment when you realize that just because you can do it doesn’t mean you should have to do it alone. And that setting boundaries isn’t about doing less for others, it’s about finally including yourself in the care you give so freely. Dr. Dawson’s story reflects a deep need for Being Heard, the kind of support that allows you to say what’s real without it being questioned, redirected, or turned into something else. If you’ve ever felt like everything rests on you, this conversation will feel familiar. If you’re beginning to question how much you’ve been carrying and whether it’s sustainable, there is space to start thinking about support differently. The Support Languages™ assessment can help you name the kind of support that would actually meet you:  shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages. About Dr. Candice Dawson Dr. Candice Dawson, also known as Dr. D., is an educator, speaker, and author who helps women rethink what it means to live freely. She often describes herself as a “freedom enthusiast,” someone who believes that freedom isn’t something you arrive at once, but something you choose every day. Through her work, Dr. D supports women as they navigate life, responsibility, and the pressure to hold everything together, while learning how to care for themselves in the process. She also works with parents and families, helping them approach learning in ways that feel empowering and connected to everyday life. Dr. D brings over a decade of experience in education and nonprofit work, along with a deep commitment to growth, faith, and living in alignment with what she believes is possible. Connect with Dr. Candice Dawson Instagram |Threads |YouTube | Website About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Being an emotional caretaker as a Black woman often starts early, long before you realize just how much you’ve been carrying. This episode is story four of the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, where Black women share what being strong has cost them, and the kind of support that could have made a difference. In this conversation, Achea Redd shares what it looked like to become the one everyone leaned on, not just in adulthood, but from childhood. Achea learned early how to manage other people’s emotions, how to step in, smooth things over, and carry what didn’t belong to her. But over time, that role came with a cost. From living in a constant state of alertness, to losing connection with herself, to realizing that much of what she had been holding was never hers to carry in the first place, this conversation explores the weight of being the emotional caretaker. We talk about what it means to be relied on without being supported, how self-worth can become tied to being needed, and the moment everything began to shift. This episode also holds space for the realization that you don’t have to keep carrying what was handed to you. And that putting it down doesn’t make you less… it makes you honest about what you can no longer hold. Achea’s story reflects a deep need for Being Heard, the kind of support that allows you to speak freely without being corrected, dismissed, or made to feel like your experience needs to be explained. If you’ve ever found yourself holding everything together for everyone else while quietly feeling disconnected from yourself, this conversation will stay with you. If you’re realizing you’ve been carrying things that were never yours to hold alone, the Support Languages™ assessment can help you name the kind of support that would actually meet you:  shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages. About Achea Redd Achea Redd is a mental health advocate, author, and coach who helps women make sense of who they are when life starts shifting underneath them. Her work is rooted in real conversations about identity, emotional burnout, and what it looks like to come back to yourself after carrying too much for too long. Through her coaching practice, Rooted with Redd, Achea works with women one-on-one and in group spaces, creating room for honest reflection, healing, and growth. She’s also the author of three books, with a fourth on the way, and continues to show up in community through workshops and experiences that center mental health and emotional well-being. Achea’s work is deeply personal, shaped by her own journey with anxiety and the decision to stop carrying what was never hers to hold. Connect with Achea Redd  Instagram |Substack | Website About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Being the strong one as a new mother can look like holding everything together on the outside, even when you’re quietly running on empty. This episode is story three of the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, where Black women share what being strong has cost them, and the kind of support that could have made a difference. In this conversation, Tasha Randle shares what it looked like to return to work after having her second child while trying to manage breastfeeding, a demanding role, and the day-to-day responsibilities of home. Tasha has always been the one who figures things out. But in this season, that strength started to cost her in ways she didn’t immediately recognize. From the physical signs showing up in her body, to the pressure of always being “on” at work, to the moment her husband said, “you always figure it out,” this conversation explores what it means to carry so much that even the people closest to you don’t realize how heavy it’s become. We talk about invisible exhaustion, the difference between what feels urgent and what actually matters, and the quiet ways many Black women learn to keep going even when something inside is asking them to stop. This episode is also a reminder that just because you can carry it doesn’t mean you were ever meant to carry it alone. And sometimes the truth doesn’t come out until you can no longer hold it in. Tasha’s story reflects a deep need for Being Heard – the kind of support that listens fully, without minimizing, dismissing, or rushing to fix what’s being shared. If you’ve ever found yourself holding everything together while feeling like you were coming undone inside, this conversation will stay with you. If you’re starting to recognize that you’ve been carrying more than you should,e, the Support Languages assessment can help you begin to put language to the kind of support you need.:  shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages. About Tasha Randle Before the work she does now, Tasha Randle spent 15 years in corporate marketing, leading major brands and helping drive billions in revenue for companies like Procter & Gamble and Hallmark. Today, she works with entrepreneurs who are doing all the right things, putting in long hours, and still not seeing the results they know are possible. Tasha brings a grounded, practical approach to helping people understand what’s actually holding their business back, without adding more pressure or telling them to do more than they already are. Her work is rooted in helping people slow down, look at what’s really going on, and make the kind of changes that create sustainable growth. Discover Your Revenue Lock: Are you doing all the “right” things, but your revenue isn’t growing? Find out exactly which of your business mechanics is jammed by taking Tasha’s free, 5-minute diagnostic: https://828leadershipgroup.com/revenue-lock Connect with Tasha Randle  Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube | Tiktok About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Being the strong one in rooms that were never built for you often comes at a cost, especially when you’ve learned to keep going no matter what it takes. This episode is story two of the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, where Black women share what being strong has cost them, and the kind of support that could have made a difference. In this conversation, Cynthia “Cyn” Strickland shares what it cost to be the one holding it all together in spaces where she was often the only one who looked like her. For Cynthia, being the strong one in rooms not built for her wasn’t just about work, it shaped how she showed up in every part of her life. Cynthia has spent decades building a career across technology, consulting, and leadership, showing up, delivering, and proving herself in rooms that were not designed with her in mind. But behind the success was a pattern of pushing through, compartmentalizing, and moving on without ever stopping to process what she had been through. From navigating serious health moments alone, to having her work taken and handed to someone else, to realizing she was being valued for what she could produce but not seen as a full person, this conversation explores what it means to lose your voice while appearing successful. We talk about workplace pressure, identity, and the emotional cost of always being the one who can handle it. This is what being the strong one in rooms not built for you can look like when it goes unspoken for too long. This episode is also a reminder that just because you’ve learned how to navigate hard spaces doesn’t mean you were ever meant to carry them alone. And sometimes the real shift begins when you allow yourself to be seen beyond what you do. Cynthia’s story reflects a deep need for Mindful Care – the kind of support that checks in, follows up, and creates space for you to be honest about what’s really going on. If you’ve ever felt like you had to prove yourself in every room, or like your value was tied to what you could produce, this conversation will stay with you. If you found yourself listening and thinking, “this is me,” but you’re not sure what support would even look like, the Support Languages™ assessment can help you start to put language to that:  shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages. About Cynthia Strickland Cynthia “Cyn” Strickland is a writer, strategist, and entrepreneur who works with high-achieving professionals, especially Black women and LGBTQ+ leaders, who are starting to question the lives and careers they’ve built. Before this chapter of her life, Cynthia spent years navigating spaces where she was often the only one who looked like her, building a career across technology, consulting, and leadership. Over time, she began to notice what constantly holding everything together was asking of her. In 2024, after years of monitoring, biopsies, and a lumpectomy, Cynthia underwent a double mastectomy followed by radiation treatment. That experience shifted how she thinks about time, work, and what it really means to take care of herself. Now, through her writing and the work she does with others, Cynthia creates space for people to rethink success, tell the truth about what they’ve been carrying, and choose a different way forward. Connect with Cynthia Strickland  Instagram | LinkedIn | Substack About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

This episode is part of the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, where Black women share what being strong has cost them (including how chronic pain in Black women is often ignored or misunderstood), and the kind of support that could have made a difference.  In this conversation, Fawn Walker Montgomery shares what it cost to keep pushing through pain and what happened when her body finally said no. Fawn has spent most of her life showing up for others as a community organizer, advocate, and leader in the fight for justice. But behind the work was a body that was breaking down. From being dismissed in medical spaces, to living with undiagnosed endometriosis, to becoming what she describes as “indispensable and invisible at the same time”, this conversation explores the real impact of chronic pain in Black women and what it means to not be believed. We talk about burnout, self-advocacy, and the moment she realized that the relationships around her were often tied to what she could give, not how she was being supported. This episode is also a reminder that your body is always communicating even when you’ve been taught to ignore it. And sometimes listening is the first step toward healing. Fawn’s story also reflects a deep need for Emotional Safety – the kind of support that allows you to be believed, held, and heard without having to fight for it. If you’ve ever felt like your body was trying to tell you something,  or like you’ve had to push through pain just to keep going, this conversation will stay with you. And if you’ve ever felt like you needed support but couldn’t quite name what that looks like for you, you can take the Support Languages™ assessment at shadesofstrong.com/supportlanguages. About Fawn Walker Montgomery Fawn Walker Montgomery is a community leader, organizer, and advocate who has spent years showing up for her people – fighting for justice, building, leading, and carrying a lot along the way. She’s served as a councilwoman in McKeesport, made history as the first Black woman to run for a State seat in the Mon Valley without a major party endorsement, and continues her work through Fawn Walker Montgomery Consulting and as the CEO and Co-Founder of Take Action Advocacy Group (TAAG). But behind all of that work is a woman who has had to learn how to listen to her own body. After years of pushing through, Fawn now speaks openly about her experience with endometriosis… sharing what it looks like to care for yourself while still being committed to your community. She is the author of Healing In The Fight: A Black Woman’s Journey With Endometriosis and Radical Self-Care – a reflection of both the work she’s done in the world and the work she’s had to do within herself. Healing In The Fight is available wherever books are sold. Connect with Fawn Walker Montgomery: Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | Substack Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

April marks Black Women’s History Month, and this series was created to honor the full, lived experiences of Black women in a way that often gets overlooked. This series centers Black women support stories told in their own words. The 26 Black Women: What Strength Took. What Support Could Have Given storytelling series centers real conversations with Black women about the realities behind being “strong” and the kind of support that was missing. Each episode creates space for Black women to speak in their own words, not just about what they’ve been through, but about who they are beyond it. This trailer introduces the intention behind the series and what listeners can expect over the next 26 days. If you’ve ever questioned what support for Black women really looks like in everyday life, this series was created with you in mind. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Understanding How to Answer You Okay When You’re Not When someone asks you “You okay?”, it’s rarely simple, and figuring out how to answer you okay when you’re not can feel like its own emotional maze. This pause sits inside that moment for Black women, because the truth behind that question is often heavier than the world realizes. In this episode, Shirl slows the moment down and gives you space to notice what happens inside you before you answer out of habit. She talks about why “I’m fine” shows up so quickly, how our history shapes the way we respond, and why honesty doesn’t have to mean spilling everything you’re holding. You’ll hear real language you can use when you’re not okay but don’t want to explain, how to protect your emotional space, and what it looks like to check in with yourself once the world gets quiet again. This pause is a grounding reminder that you get to choose answers that care for you too. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Neglecting Ourselves: A Quiet Drift We Don’t Always Notice There are quiet, subtle ways we start neglecting ourselves, and many of us don’t notice it right away. This Support Pause sits with that gentle drift — the shift that shows up when old patterns try to pull us into versions of ourselves we’ve already outgrown. This isn’t just about relationships. It’s about the moment you realize you’ve stepped away from yourself without meaning to. It’s about paying attention when something inside you whispers, “This doesn’t feel like who you are anymore,” because that whisper is often the first sign that you’ve started neglecting yourself emotionally. For Black women who’ve done the work, gotten clearer, and grown beyond the woman they used to be, this pause is a reminder that returning to yourself is a form of support. Healthy support doesn’t benefit from us neglecting ourselves. It meets us where we are, honors our growth, and helps us stay connected to the woman we’re becoming. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Why Your Body Doesn’t Feel Safe Enough to Receive Support When your body doesn’t feel safe enough to receive support, it’s usually not about your mindset. It’s your nervous system responding to what you’ve lived through. In this episode, we get into why your body pulls back, why that reaction makes sense, and how Black women can slowly relearn receiving in ways that feel steady and supportive. Support doesn’t always feel safe when you’ve had to carry so much on your own. So your nervous system stays alert, even when someone has good intentions. In this Support Pause, we unpack the connection between your emotional safety, your lived experiences, and the kind of support that actually helps your body relax. If you’ve ever said “I want help, but something in me hesitates,” this episode will feel familiar. You’ll hear grounded, everyday language around nervous system protection, hesitancy, the Strong Black Woman conditioning, and how support can slowly feel possible again. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Questioning Whether What You Do Matters as a Black Woman If you’ve been questioning whether what you do matters as a Black woman, you are not alone. There are days when the work feels invisible. The showing up.The caring.The building. For many Black women, impact does not always come with applause. It comes quietly. It comes later. Sometimes it comes in ways you cannot measure. In this Daily Support Pause, Shirl reflects on a recent conversation that reminded her how often we question whether what we do matters as Black women, especially when there is no visible proof. When a storyteller shared that she felt safe… and that she had never said certain things out loud before… it became a moment of reflection about emotional safety, invisible labor, and learning to let affirmation land. Why Questioning Whether What You Do Matters as a Black Woman Feels So Familiar Black women are often the steady one.The safe friend.The dependable voice. But rarely are we reflected back to ourselves. Sometimes support looks like someone saying, “I see what you’re doing.” And sometimes that reflection steadies you more than applause ever could.   A Space to Say It Out Loud If you’ve been carrying stories you’ve never said out loud… The Black Women Storytelling Series is a space for questioning whether what you do matters as a Black woman and finally giving those experiences language. It is a space where Black women tell the truth about what being strong has cost them and what they are reclaiming now. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

When the Pressure to Create Balance Starts Wearing You Down If you’ve been waking up every day feeling like you’re falling behind before the day even starts, this Support Pause is for you. So many Black women are carrying the pressure to “create balance,” even though our lives were never built to be balanced in the first place. In this Pause, Shirl takks about the truth behind that pressure and what it looks like to stop chasing balance and start giving yourself a healthy portion instead. A portion that matches your capacity. A portion that honors the day you’re living. A portion that lets you breathe without guilt. A lot of us have been carrying the pressure to create balance without even realizing it, and it’s exhausting. If you’ve been stretched thin, overwhelmed, or questioning why balance keeps slipping through your hands, this is your reminder that nothing is wrong with you. You’re not coming up short. You’re choosing what’s real.Take a moment. Take your portion. Let that be enough for today. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Galentine’s Day often comes with group photos, brunch tables, matching outfits, and long captions about sisterhood. And while it’s sweet, it can also make you pause. In this Support Pause, we slow the moment down and reflect on what community really looks like for Black women. Not the loud moments. Not the highlight reel. The quiet, ordinary ways people stay connected to you in everyday life. Real support doesn’t always announce itself. Sometimes it looks like: A friend who checks in on a random Tuesday. Someone who understands when you need company and when you don’t. The person who makes room for you without asking you to explain yourself over and over again. This episode is an invitation to reflect on friendship, sisterhood, and community support in a way that feels grounded and real. If Galentine’s Day brings up joy, let yourself enjoy it.If it brings up reflection or tenderness, that makes sense too. Because community isn’t about how loud it looks.It’s about the quiet ways people stay connected to you. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

This Support Pause sits with what it really means to be finding your free as a Black woman.. If you’ve been thinking about what it means to be finding your free, this pause might sit with you differently. There are moments when your body softens before you even know why, and it feels like the closest thing to freedom you’ve had all day. This Pause sits with that feeling, the quiet kind of ease that doesn’t ask you to explain yourself. For Black women, finding your free rarely comes from big life changes. It shows up in the small pockets where you don’t have to manage the room, rehearse your tone, or hold yourself together for someone else. This episode invites you to notice those pockets, the places where you feel less guarded and more like yourself. No pressure to figure anything out. No demand to be better or softer. Just a moment to acknowledge the spaces where your shoulders naturally drop. If you’ve been moving through the world in a constant state of readiness, this Pause offers a breath. A reminder that freedom doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Why Trust and Letting Go for Black Women Feels Complicated There’s a certain kind of exhaustion that shows up when people tell you to “just trust” or “just let go,” like it’s supposed to be simple. But if we’re being honest, trust and letting go for Black women comes with a different weight. It touches the places where you’ve had to stay alert. It bumps up against the moments where letting go didn’t feel safe. This Support Pause doesn’t ask you to leap. It doesn’t ask you to soften before you’re ready. It holds space for the tension you feel when your mind wants relief but your body remembers every reason to stay guarded. If you’ve been carrying a lot, thinking through everything, or trying to manage what no one else seems to notice, take a moment with this one. You don’t have to commit to anything big. Just come breathe for a few minutes. This Support Pause is here to make trust and letting go for Black women feel less like a demand and more like an invitation. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Intuition vs Overthinking: How Do You Tell the Difference? In this Support Pause, Shirl responds to a listener who said, “I be in my head a lot… and I can’t tell if it’s truth or just noise.” A lot of us wrestle with this same intuition vs overthinking question, even if we never say it out loud. If your thoughts get loud, if your mind won’t settle, or if you constantly question whether that voice is intuition or overthinking, this episode is for you. When you’re caught between intuition vs overthinking, your mind will try to rush you. Your body will tell the truth. Shirl sits with you through the messiness of mental spirals and offers a grounded way to slow that voice down, talk back to it, and remind yourself who’s actually in charge. This question came from a listener after last week’s episode, “The Voice in Your Head Isn’t Always You.”You can listen to that one on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Submit your questions to [email protected] Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Support for the Exhausted at Work Black Woman If you’ve ever sat in your car dreading the walk into work, this one’s for you. This Support Pause holds space for the Black woman who’s exhausted — not because she isn’t strong, but because she’s carrying too much alone. You’re doing what you have to do. You’re showing up in a job that drains you, and you can’t afford to walk away. That’s real. And you don’t have to pretend it’s not costing you. This isn’t a fix. It’s not advice. It’s a pause. A moment to tell the truth about how heavy it’s been. A reminder that you’re not broken for feeling it. And you’re not the only one. If you’re an exhausted Black woman at work, this pause is yours. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

You ever feel so emotionally full that you can’t even find the words for what you’re carrying? That’s when I started realizing how music can show up as emotional support — not background noise, but something that actually holds you. In this pause Shirl gives a peek into how we can use music as emotional support when talking just won’t do If you’ve never thought about music as emotional support, this might be a good place to start. Don’t underestimate the healing power of music — especially when it’s offered with care and intention. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Download Sistah’s Connect Radio in the Apple Store Download Sistah’s Connect Radion in Google Play Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Being strong as a Black woman has always come with expectations — and a cost. I’m not knocking being strong, but… I am saying you don’t have to disappear inside of it. In this Support Pause, Shirl is calling out the kind of strength that gets celebrated while you suffer in silence. You know the one.The strength that keeps you holding it together at work, at home, for your kids, for your family…But never lets you fall apart in peace.The strength that taught you how to keep showing up — even when there’s nothing left of you in the showing. We’re not knocking being strong.We’re knocking the version of it that makes rest feel risky and support feel like weakness.The kind that looks good on the outside, but is slowly draining you on the inside. This episode is a call to lay that version down.To stop earning your worth through exhaustion.To let strength and support co-exist — without choosing one over the other. If you’ve been sitting in your car after work just trying to breathe before walking back inside…If you’ve been saying “I’m good” when you’re anything but…This one’s for you because support and strength can co-exist — but not when being strong as a Black woman means constantly disappearing behind what you carry. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Support was our first language.  They’ve been telling us love comes first — but that’s not the truth. Before you knew how to speak, you knew what it meant to be held. And somehow, along the way, they made you forget that. This pause  is not about learning anything new. It’s about remembering what your body already knows — that support was your first language. Not love.Support. And if love has been feeling heavy lately, this one might be for you. Come through when you’re ready. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

What This Episode Reveals About the Being Heard Support Language Sometimes, when Being Heard is your Support Language, the smallest things hit the hardest.Like one dish left in the sink. A simple ask ignored again. You tell yourself it’s not that deep… but it lingers. Sometimes it’s not about the thing. It’s about the pattern. The silence after your ask. The way your voice seems to land with no weight at all. In this Support Pause, Shirl unpacks what’s really going on when something as simple as a dish in the sink hits a nerve. She explores how everyday moments can feel heavy when you’ve spent a lifetime asking for what you need and still being ignored. This one’s for the Black woman who’s tired of repeating herself. Tired of questioning her tone. Tired of wondering if she’s asking for too much. It’s not about control. It’s not about perfection. It’s about presence — and the quiet pain that shows up when your Support Language™ is Being Heard. . Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

When you’re used to being the strong one, it’s hard to imagine what life looks like when you’re not being all things as a Black woman. This episode invites you to pause and reflect on the parts of you that feel overextended, overwhelmed, or overlooked. Inspired by a single line from a daily meditation, Shirl explores what it means to sit with the question instead of rushing toward a solution. What if it’s not about fixing anything? What if you’re simply being invited to breathe? If you’ve been feeling the weight of holding it all together, this Support Pause is for you. Because not being all things as a Black woman is not weakness — it’s sacred. . Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Asking for Support as a Black Woman and Reciprocity This Support Pause is a reflection on asking for support as a Black woman, and what reciprocity really looks like when you’ve been the one carrying the load. Shirl reflects on a question that lingered long after it was asked: when a woman finally asks for support, does it mean more people will start asking her for things? This episode explores asking for support as a Black woman, the fear of becoming more responsible for others, and the quiet realization that the imbalance often existed long before we ever spoke up. This pause isn’t about fixing relationships or confronting anyone. It’s an invitation to notice where the give and the get don’t match, and to sit with what that awareness brings up. . Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

You Don’t Have to Be Strong for Anyone Today. How many times have you been told to be strong — even in the middle of your own grief?For your kids.For your mama.For everybody but you. This Support Pause is for the moments when you feel yourself unraveling… but still feel like you have to keep it together. In this episode, Shirl tells the truth about what it means to be “the strong one,” and what happened the day someone finally told her she didn’t have to be. If you’ve been quietly grieving something — even if you’ve never named it as grief — this one’s for you. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Boundaries and Being Called Mean: The Lie We’ve Internalized You ever ntice how fast folks start using the word mean the moment a Black woman starts choosing herself? Like boundaries suddenly make us the villain. But here’s the truth — when you’ve been taught to serve, stretch, and self-abandon… even the smallest no can feel like an earthquake to somebody who benefitted from your silence. There’s a difference between setting boundaries and being called mean for finally choosing peace — and we need to talk about it. This pause is here to remind you: you’re not mean for listening to yourself. You’re not mean for putting your peace first. That’s called healing. That’s called unlearning. That’s called real support. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

The voice in your head is always talking… but have you ever stopped to ask who she really is? We don’t talk enough about the voices we carry inside.And yet, the voice in your head shapes how you show up every single day. Whether she’s whispering self-doubt, pushing you to do more, or shutting you down when you need rest — she’s always there. But that voice doesn’t have to stay hardened by survival and generational pressure. In this episode, Shirl walks you through a gentle reflection on how that inner voice was formed — and what it might mean to give her a new role. Maybe she’s the firm auntie who doesn’t’t play. Maybe she’s still sounding like someone who hurt you. Either way, you get to shift the tone. You get to decide what support sounds like in your own mind. If the voice in your head isn’t loving you the way you need to be loved, it’s just time to shift. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

What does support look like when you don’t even know what you need? In today’s Support Pause, Shirl is talking about a moment with a friend who was carrying so much, she couldn’t even answer that question. And that’sreal,  because sometimes, “I don’t know” is all you’ve got left. But just because you can’t name it yet doesn’t mean your needs don’t exist. Sometimes your body’s been saying it long before your mouth catches up — through the tension, the silence, the cabinet doors, the short answers, the exhaustion. This pause is about learning how to listen for that. Because support when you don’t know what you need starts with noticing. And if you want help putting words to that quiet voice inside —there’s a short quiz waiting for you HERE.3–5 minutes. No pressure. Just a soft place to start. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: 26 Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Emotional exhaustion is something Black women know too well. And not just the kind that comes from work, parenting, or never-ending to-do lists. I’m talking about the exhaustion that lives deep in your body because you’ve spent years explaining yourself in rooms where no one was really listening. You ever have whole conversations in your head that never leave your mouth? This Support Pause is for the Black woman who’s tired of always having to explain herself. Tired of breaking it down. Tired of softening her truth. Tired of doing all the emotional labor and still being misunderstood. This kind of emotional exhaustion runs deep. It’s not just about being tired — it’s about carrying stories, feelings, and unspoken truth in rooms that don’t make space for you to just be. That kind of emotional exhaustion Black women carry doesn’t come with easy fixes. So today, Shirl is sitting with the weight of all those “I’m okays” that really mean “I’m not.”The quiet moments that hold a whole backstory.The ways we bite our tongues just to keep the peace. If you’re navigating emotional exhaustion as a Black woman, you’re not alone — and you’re not too much for needing rest. You don’t owe everyone an explanation. Your exhaustion is valid, even when there are no words.You deserve support that doesn’t need a long backstory to be taken seriously. Take a few minutes. Let this pause hold you. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: 26 Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Sometimes you’re so deep in the day-to-day that you don’t even realize you’ve left yourself behind. You’re showing up, doing all the things, saying yes, holding it down… but something’s off. You don’t feel like you. Not fully. Not lately. This pause is about coming back to yourself as a Black woman when everything around you has made it easy to forget who you are. Coming Back to Yourself as a Black Woman… is about coming home to yourself when the world has pulled you in too many directions and you’ve gone quiet in your own life. It’s not about fixing anything. It’s not about starting over. It’s just about telling the truth — to yourself first — and letting that truth bring you back home. If you’ve been tired, disconnected, or just doing what you have to do to get through the day, this is your reminder: you still get to choose you. You still get to check in. You still get to return to what feels real. So go ahead. Take a few minutes. Sit with it.And come back to you. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: 26 Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

“If you’ve ever whispered ‘I have to’ while dragging yourself through another day, this one’s for you.” You know that moment when someone asks how you’re doing and your mind just goes blank because… you don’t even know where to start? That’s what “I have to” sounds like in real life. “I have to show up…keep going…handle it.” But who told you that? And when did “I have to” become the rule? When  Did “I Have To” Becomes a Way of Life In this Support Pause, Shirl holds space for what it really means when Black women say “I have to.” She explores the quiet exhaustion behind it, the fear that nothing will get done if we’re not the ones doing it, and the possibility that — even in small ways — we can start telling ourselves a different story. Because maybe you don’t have to do it all today.Maybe you get to pause, even for five minutes.And maybe that pause is where healing begins. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: 26 Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Some things you’ve been through? Only you and God know the full weight. But here’s what I’ll say: God don’t play about you. And when you listen to this one, you’ll feel that in your bones. If you’ve been carrying a lot lately — quietly, heavily — come take this pause. Come take this pause with me — let me remind you why God don’t play about you, even when it felt like everything was falling apart. Let’s sit together for a few minutes and talk about what’s already been held, what didn’t take you out, and what still has your name on it. Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours. Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you. About Shades of Strong®Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday. Resources to Support You: 26 Black Women Storytelling Series Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week   Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

I’ve been sitting with this question lately: Who are you outside of the roles you’ve had to play? What do you say when someone asks, “Who are you?” Do you lead with “mother,” “caretaker,” “child of God,” “strong Black woman”?Do you find yourself naming all the things you do for everyone else… without naming you? Most of us have never been asked, “Who are you outside of the roles you’ve had to perform just to be accepted, or safe, or taken seriously?” And if we were asked, we wouldn’t even know where to begin. In this episode, Shirl reflects on a powerful video clip that cracked something open and got her asking herself that exact question. She talks about what happens when our identity gets built around survival, family expectations, and being the one who always holds it all together. And how slowly… silently… we start to disappear into the roles we’ve been praised for. Shirl also shares how this moment inspired the creation of her new storytelling series: 26 Black Women — a space to tell the truth about what being strong has cost us. If you’ve ever wondered who you are outside of who you’ve had to be, this one’s for you. Who Are You Outside of the Roles? Why the Question Still Hurts. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: Why the question “Who are you?” is harder than it seems How our stories are shaped by survival, not choice What it means to tell the truth beyond the roles we play Why Shirl created the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series A soft invitation to tell your truth — out loud Submit your story for the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

2025 had hands… but it also had layers. This 2025 reflection for Black women holds space for all of it — the joy, the grief, the growth, the tiredness that doesn’t always go away with sleep. In this season of goal-setting and high expectations, this episode offers something different: a pause. Because before we move into “new year energy,” there’s power in naming what this year truly held — not just what you survived, but what shaped you. In this deeply personal check-in, Shirl holds space for everything this year brought with it — the beauty, the heartbreak, the quiet resilience. It’s not a list of to-dos or a highlight reel. It’s a short conversation about what it means to survive a year that asked so much of you… and still show up with love in your heart. Just truth, reflection, and an invitation to lay some things down before you step into 2026. If you’ve been feeling unseen, unheld, or just plain tired, this episode with created with you in mind. In this episode, Shirl reflects on: Why both the hard and the healing matter The emotional cost of being “the strong one” again The quiet things you might still be carrying into the new year Five questions to help you release what no longer serves you A reminder that you don’t have to earn rest, support, or peace Why We Needed This 2025 Reflection for Black Women This isn’t about pretending 2025 was easy — it wasn’t. But this 2025 reflection for Black women is about telling the truth about what it asked of you and how you kept showing up. It’s an honest, layered moment to release what you’re not taking into 2026. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

When it comes to holiday support for Black women, it often looks like doing everything for everyone else — with little space to be supported yourself. In this short but powerful Support Snippet, Shirl offers a tender nudge to come back to yourself. To stop waiting until everything’s done to take a breath. And to remember that being supported isn’t something you have to earn. If you’ve been running on fumes, putting everyone else first, or quietly holding a lot behind your smile — this one’s for you. What You’ll Hear in This Holiday Support Episode for Black Women Why this time of year feels especially heavy for strong Black women A reframe on what support actually looks like during the holidays A quiet invitation to make room for you — even if just for five minutes Take This With You Support doesn’t have to be big, expensive, or aesthetic.It can be five quiet minutes.It can be saying no.It can be choosing you without guilt. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well When You’re All You’ve Got Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Rest isn’t something we earn — it’s something we deserve. In this episode of Shades of Strong, I’m joined by writer and self-care coach Tara Pringle Jefferson, author of Bloom How You Must: A Black Woman’s Guide to Self-Care and Generational Healing, for a deeply nourishing conversation on reclaiming rest and wellness as a Black woman. Together, we unpack what it looks like to release the pressure to do it all and instead move toward wholeness — physically, emotionally, spiritually, and creatively. Tara shares the story of how she came to self-care through burnout, and how interviewing over 100 Black women helped her reimagine what support, joy, and spaciousness actually look like in our lives. We’re talking generational exhaustion, self-care as legacy, and the difference between surviving and truly being well. This one will breathe life into you if you’ve been feeling overextended, under-supported, or just plain tired of being “strong.” In this episode, we talk about: How Tara’s doctor literally prescribed her rest What Bloom How You Must really means (and why the title matters) The quiet ways our mothers and grandmothers modeled self-care Seven dimensions of wellness every Black woman should consider Why community care and self-care are not either/or How to start listening to your body again (and completing the stress cycle) Stories from Tara’s interviews with 100 Black women What reclaiming rest and wellness actually looks like in real life If you’re ready to stop just functioning and start flourishing, this episode is for you. Links and Resources Mentioned: Purchase Tara’s Book: Bloom How You Must  Connect with Tara On Instagram.  Join the Self-Care Suite Support this work: Loving what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend, rate the show, or tag me on social (@shadesofstrong) with your favorite moment. Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl  Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

We talk a lot about what it means to be a good friend. But what happens when the support we’re giving doesn’t match what the other person actually needs? In this episode of Shades of Strong, I’m joined by best friends Alyson Brown and Mia Brinson for a heartfelt, unfiltered conversation about support in Black female friendships. From the challenges of being the “strong one” in your circle to the quiet grief of friendship breakups, this is a layered conversation about what it really means to show up — and be shown up for. Both Alyson and Mia took the Support Languages™ quiz and got Mindful Care — the language of intentional check-ins and nurturing presence. We explore how that plays out in real life, especially when friendships shift, stretch, or fall apart. Whether you’ve ever felt unseen in your friendships, questioned if you’re giving too much, or struggled to receive the love you so easily give… this episode is for you. In this episode, we talk about: Why support can still miss the mark, even with good intentions What Mindful Care looks like in real friendships The grief and growth that come with friendship breakups The role of communication, boundaries, and emotional capacity Why knowing your friend’s Support Language matters more than you think And what it looks like to be fully seen — and still fully loved Connect with Alyson Brown and Mia Brinson  Follow Alyson and Mia’s podcast, Navigating Sisterhood, on YouTube  Connect with Alyson  and Mia on Instagram.  Support this work: Loving what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend, rate the show, or tag me on social (@shadesofstrong) with your favorite moment. Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

At 56 years old, I’m walking into a Black woman’s dream I’ve carried for decades — sitting in New York, preparing to speak with agents and an editor from one of the Big Five publishing houses… about my book. This moment didn’t come fast, but it came faithfully.And in this short, heartfelt episode, I’m reflecting on what it means to finally say yes to the calling — after years of wrestling, resisting, and wondering if it was too late. Because this isn’t just about publishing a book.It’s about legacy.It’s about healing.It’s about breaking patterns for every Black woman who’s ever whispered, “I don’t want to be strong anymore.” So if you’ve ever questioned the timing of your dream…If you’ve ever felt like you missed your moment…This episode is a gentle reminder that what’s for you is still for you.It may be delayed — but it is never denied. This is a Black woman’s dream.Delayed, yes.But still divine. Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.  

We say it all the time — check on your strong friend — but do we really know what that means? In this Support Snippet, Shirl goes deeper than the surface-level reminder and speaks directly to what it looks like when strong Black women go quiet. When the one who always holds everyone else down suddenly pulls back. When the “I’m fine” doesn’t really mean fine anymore. If you’re the strong one, or you love someone who is, this short but powerful episode will help you think differently about how support shows up, who it’s for, and what’s hiding in the silence after we stop over-functioning. Because here’s the truth: The strong friend gets tired too. And when she stops showing up the way she always has — it’s not drama. It’s a signal. In this episode, you’ll hear: What it really means to check on your strong friend Why many strong Black women feel invisible when they stop doing The emotional weight of being “the dependable one” How silence can signal the need for support A gentle reminder that strong women deserve to be held too Whether you’ve been the strong friend, ignored the strong friend, or realized that you are the strong friend… this conversation is for you. Because shifting from being a strong Black woman to being a supported Black woman?That’s the real work.And it starts with noticing. Need space to unpack your own strong friend fatigue? Shirl is holding space for Black women who are ready to rest, reflect, and receive support without guilt.Book a 1:1 Support Session HERE. Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.  

Are you tired of being the strong one? The one everyone depends on but rarely checks in with? That’s what we’re getting into today… ewhat happens after you finally lay that weight down — when you stop over-functioning, stop fixing, stop pretending you’re okay… and the phone stops ringing. What happens when you finally stop?When you set the boundary? When you pause the all the doing? It’s quiet. But instead of peace, you’re sitting in discomfort. Maybe even grief.Because what shows up after the pause — that silence, that stillness — can feel personal. In this episode, I’m talking about the uncomfortable part of rest.The identity crisis that shows up when you’re no longer being needed every day.And the emotional shift that happens when you’ve built your worth on being dependable — and now you’re not sure who you are without it. If you’ve ever said, “I’m tired of being the strong one,” this episode will hit home. I’m diving into what it feels like to stop over-functioning, to rest, and to wrestle with who you are when being needed isn’t your identity anymore. If You’re Tired of Being the Strong One, Here’s What You’ll Hear: Why rest can feel like grief when your identity was built around being needed What it really feels like to stop over-functioning The weight of being invisible when you stop doing everything What the “but then what?” moment reveals about your support needs Why the pause is not failure — it’s the beginning of your becoming If you’ve been asking yourself: Who am I if I’m not the strong one anymore? Why do I feel so off when I finally rest? What if nobody notices I’ve stopped showing up? This episode is for you. And  if you’re sitting in that “but then what?” space — and it feels like too much to carry alone, let me hold space for you in a 1:1 Support Session.  These sessions aren’t about fixing. They’re about slowing down and making room for the version of you who’s ready to be held too. Book Your Support Session HERE . Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.  

Sometimes the support we need doesn’t come with a loud arrival or a clear answer. Sometimes, it shows up in the in-between. The pause. The waiting. The quiet moments where nothing feels certain — but you’re still held. In today’s reflection, we explore what support can look like when you don’t have the words yet. When things feel unclear. When you’re sitting in the fog, trying not to force clarity. This is about honoring the space between prayers and answers, effort and outcome. The pause is not a void. It’s a form of support too. Whether you’re resting, questioning, or just catching your breath, you’re not alone in that pause. This episode holds space for the Black woman who’s doing her best to trust what she can’t yet see — and still deserves to be supported right now. Listen in and share this with someone who needs to know she doesn’t have to be “on” all the time to be worthy of support. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well When You’re All You’ve Got Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.  

You’ve put down strong. You’ve tried the self-care Sundays, the soft life rituals, the silence and the scented candles. But somehow, you still feel like you’re holding it all by yourself. In this episode of Shades of Strong, Shirl unpacks why self-care and softness — while nourishing — were never meant to replace real support. She breaks down the difference between comfort and being held, and shares why so many Black women are left feeling unsupported even while doing all the “right” things to care for themselves. You’ll hear: Why soft life vibes can feel good, but still leave you depleted The pacifier metaphor that will shift how you see comfort vs. support How Support Languages offer a deeper way to receive the care you actually need What happens when we grieve the strong Black woman identity but don’t replace it with anything real And how we can honor our mothers and grandmothers by choosing differently This is a loving call-in — not to abandon softness, but to go deeper than what looks good on the surface. If you’ve ever felt like self-care just wasn’t cutting it anymore, this conversation is for you. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes When Black Women Are Well, Everybody’s Well When You’re All You’ve Got Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.  

This week on Shades of Strong, we’re going all the way in. I’m sitting down with Dr. Cecily Moore for a raw, layered conversation about what it really costs to carry the “strong Black woman” narrative — and what it actually takes to start living well, for real. Dr. Cecily brings her lived experience, research, and wisdom to the table as we talk about the exhaustion, the generational weight, and how so many of us are ready to put it all down. Together, we unpack: What the “strong Black woman” narrative steals from us, and why so many are finally saying, “I don’t want to do it like this anymore.” How wellness for Black women is not just individual, but communal — when a Black woman is well, everybody connected to her benefits. The emotional and cultural impact of being expected to serve, sacrifice, and hold it together — even when you’re falling apart on the inside. Why self-advocacy, boundaries, and true support are non-negotiable for our healing (and what it actually looks like in everyday life). The church, the workplace, the family — where the strong Black woman myth keeps showing up, and how we’re learning to question it. How unlearning strength-as-sacrifice is an act of resistance and the beginning of generational healing. You’ll also hear personal stories — from both Dr. Cecily and myself— about what it feels like to try to be “everything to everybody,” the grief that comes with letting that go, and the joy that’s possible on the other side. If you’re a Black woman who’s ever felt like your well-being is always last on the list, this one is for you. And if you care about Black women, it’s for you too. About Dr. Cecily Moore Dr. Cecily Moore helps therapists, counselors, and helping professionals unlearn the Strong Black Woman narrative so they can move from survival mode into sustainable wellness. She’s a licensed therapist, educator, researcher, and the creator of the Reappropriate, Redefine, Recover™ framework — guiding Black women toward nervous system healing, spaciousness, and self-reclamation. Cecily is a military wife, a mom of two, and she’s never met a Strong Black Woman she couldn’t help begin the journey of unlearning that sh*t. Connect with Dr. Cecily Moore here. Timestamps – What You’ll Hear and When: 00:00 – Intro & Why This Conversation Matters 06:20 – Dr. Cecily’s Story: Postpartum Depression and the Cost of Strength 10:25 – Generational Strength: Grandma, Mama, and Us 15:50 – Research, Lived Experience, and the Grief of Unlearning “Strong” 17:20 – The Support Language Behind the Therapist Chair 21:31 – The Pacifier Metaphor: Replacing “Strong” with Support 24:54 – Watching Her Learn to Rest: Dr. Cecily’s Mom and the Reclamation of Joy 28:06 – Church, Faith, and the Conditioning of “Strong” 36:18 – When Strength Is Rooted in Fear: Mothering Black Boys 41:15 – Receiving as a Skill: Support Languages and Accessibility 49:00 – Final Words: Unlearning “Strong” as a Mental Health Intervention Resources to Support You: Download Cecily’s Free Audio + Mindset guide: Unlearn That Sh*t Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes What Ruth and Boaz Taught Me (That the Church Never Did) When You’re All You’ve Got When Everything Feels Heavy Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.  

So earlier this week I talked about what it feels like when you don’t have anybody to reach for. But what about when folks are around — and you still feel alone? That’s a whole different kind of grief. This episode is about that space. The space where people love you, but they don’t really see you. Where the help is supposed to be there… but somehow, you’re still carrying it all. If you’ve ever looked around and thought, “Why does no one notice how much I’m holding?” — this one’s for you. What You’ll Hear in This Episode: What Being Seen feels like when it’s missing How to stop swallowing that quiet grief Real talk about what support really requires Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes When You’re All You’ve Got Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does When Everything Feels Heavy Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.  

What does receiving support as a Black woman look like when there’s no one to call, no one to reach for, and no one checking in on you? In this episode, we’re getting real about what it means to be your own support system when you’re literally all you’ve got. Not because you’re too proud to ask. Not because people keep letting you down. But because the support just isn’t there. I share my personal story of navigating lonely seasons, the grief that comes from having no one to lean on, and how I  learned to show up for myself in the meantime. But I also speak to the ache — the soul-deep longing to be supported for real. This episode is not about pretending it’s okay. It’s about naming what’s hard, holding space for it, and finding tenderness even in the absence. What You’ll Hear in This Episode: The grief of not having anyone to reach for The difference between being strong and being supported What receiving support as a Black woman looks like without a support system The small but powerful ways grace held her through it How to start with what’s real, even when it’s not enough  Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does When Everything Feels Heavy Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.  

The world is a lot right now. Some weeks feel heavier than others, and this has been one of those weeks. I wasn’t about to just move like nothing was happening, so I came to the mic to sit with it for a minute. So let’s pause, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves what it feels like to held.  Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.