Why I Stopped Accommodating Men: Unlearning the Rules of Being a Woman

Welcome to Wonder in the Weeds, the show where we talk about how we are living, thriving, and surviving in a world full of constant change, challenge, and grief, and learning how to live and love right in the middle of it all.Today, the weeds are feeling pretty heavy. We are talking about the sheer exhaustion of just being a woman in the world today. I am raising two daughters, navigating a huge time of transition in my fifties, and watching the news with a completely new set of feminist lenses.In this episode, I share a story from my high school days about an after-prom party that completely changed my perspective on how women are treated. A male teacher shamed me for a choice my boyfriend made, and looking back, it was a glaring symbol of a lesson I carried for decades: women are expected to make the right choices for men, accommodate their feelings, and take the fall when things go wrong.But here is where the wonder comes in. I am watching my girls navigate the world, and they take so much less nonsense than I did at their age. They show up authentically, without making themselves small or trying to be "palatable" to fit into a room. Inspired by them, I am unlearning my own conditioning. I am finding incredible joy and power in women-only spaces, from learning golf and pickleball with other women to cheering at sports bars dedicated entirely to female athletes.There is so much strength when we do things together, and we have every right to take up space.In this episode, we cover:Why your fifties can feel like a total do-over of your teenage years.The high school story that opened my eyes to the double standards women face.How we are subtly conditioned to make our lives "easier" by accommodating men.The "boiling frog" effect of noticing the slow loss of our rights.How finding female-only community spaces in sports is bringing me hope and energy to keep fighting the good fight.Take care of yourselves out there, keep looking for the wonder in the weeds, and I will see you next time!