Adoptees Crossing Lines

Joker: Systems, Class Warfare, and the Cost of Being UnseenEpisode summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and Jay continue their mini-series on family policing in the media with a discussion of the 2019 film Joker. They unpack the film as more than a villain origin story—examining how failed systems, class struggle, and abandonment by institutions shape Arthur Fleck’s descent. They also connect the film’s themes to adoption, identity, and what happens when society refuses to care for the people it creates.Content note:This episode includes discussion of mental health struggles, violence, child abuse, systemic neglect, and poverty.What we cover in this episode:(00:27) Series context and why Joker fits into conversations about systems and neglect(00:56) “Hope my death makes more sense than my life”: class struggle and societal failure(03:14) Quick synopsis of Joker and Arthur Fleck’s life in Gotham(07:21) Organizing across classes and why solidarity matters(11:19) Being unseen and disbelieved: how constant dismissal worsens mental health(19:21) Identity, adoption, and the power to control truth(21:17) Becoming the Joker: finally being seen and embraced by the crowd(23:09) Systems create what they refuse to care for(24:54) Guaranteed income, free childcare, and policies that actually support families(26:22) Poverty, homelessness, and how the U.S. treats poor people(27:45) Military recruitment and poverty as a pipelineCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with J Way:TikTok: @itsyagirl_jwayBlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.socialListen to these episodes next:The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior PlaybookSurveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way Adoptee Storytelling & Film AdvocacyWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected]

Episode summary: Zaira and J continue the mini-series on family policing in the media with Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot. They break down how the film uses religion, marketing, and savior narratives to sell adoption as “justice,” while ignoring the root causes that push families into the system. They also connect the story to church state entanglement, coercion in congregations, and what real support could look like instead: resources that keep families together.Content note: This episode includes discussion of religion related trauma, child sexual abuse (CSA), adoption/foster care harm, and death by suicide.What we cover :(00:39) Why Sound of Hope reads as propaganda (and why the marketing matters)(03:37) Faith, medical neglect, and children’s autonomy in health care decisions(08:29) PR machine + CBN coverage (“Small Town Big Heart”) and the film’s framing(11:18) Plot overview: the “calling,” the church push, and families adopting while struggling(16:01) Trauma care vs “laying hands”: what churches replace instead of providing real support(26:24) Coercion, tithing culture, and why many churches won’t meet basic needs(27:47) Zaira’s link: One Church, One Child (Florida) + church–state blending and harm(39:00) How the movie treats younger kids vs the older child (“Terry”), scapegoating, and stigma(45:42) Sexualizing minors, “modesty” culture, and the burden placed on children instead of adults(47:36) The alternative: mutual aid, material support, and keeping families togetherCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with J Way:TikTok: @itsyagirl_jwayBlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.socialListen to these episodes next:The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior PlaybookSurveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way Adoptee Storytelling & Film AdvocacyWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected]

Losing Isaiah: When the System Steals, and Hollywood Sells It Back to YouEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way continue their mini-series on family policing in the media with a critical look at the 1995 film Losing Isaiah. They unpack the film’s portrayal of Black motherhood, addiction, transracial adoption, and white saviorism. From courtroom drama to deeply racist tropes, they examine how the movie pretends to be about the child, but instead reinforces dangerous myths about poverty, morality, and what makes someone a “fit” parent.In this episode, we cover:(00:20) Initial reactions and why this movie still hits hard, especially for Black viewers.(06:55) The “crack baby” trope, media sensationalism, and the reality of poverty-based family separation.(17:00) Power dynamics and the red flags of a white hospital social worker adopting a Black child.(23:00) The courtroom as a stage for white fragility, and the Black attorney who wasn’t having it.(30:00) What the film gets wrong about addiction, morality, and who deserves to parent.(42:00) Why the film’s ending reinforces saviorism, and erases the systemic harm it claims to confront.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with J Way:TikTok: @itsyagirl_jwayBlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.socialListen to these episodes next:The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior PlaybookSurveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way Adoptee Storytelling & Film AdvocacyInstant Family: Comedy, Consent, and Adoption PropagandaWork With Me: Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected]

Instant Family: Comedy, Consent, and Adoption PropagandaEpisode Summary:What happens when a comedy about foster care hides a deeper agenda? In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way dig into the film Instant Family, its tone, tropes, and troubling narratives. They reflect on how comedy disarms audiences, how media normalizes adoption propaganda, and why who tells the story matters. From trauma, reunification, and religious narratives to Hollywood’s obsession with control, nothing is off limits.Content Note:This episode includes discussion of adoption, the foster care system, racism, abuse, sexual assault, and state violence. Please listen with care.In this episode we cover:(00:22) Introduction and content framing(01:16) First impressions of Instant Family and the illusion of relatability(05:30) What does it mean for a film to be disarming?(08:16) Behind the scenes: The director’s role, Catholic influence, and who gets to tell the story(13:30) Quick recap: The film's plot and its portrayal of the family policing system(19:34) When adoptive parents fear reunification(22:16) How poverty is framed as parental failure(27:10) What kept people are taught to ignore(33:30) The comedy-to-consent pipeline: Who owns a child’s story?(47:12) Real life vs. “inspirational fiction” and the state’s role in violence(52:56) The kids no one comes looking for: on isolation and invisibility(55:42) What these films always leave out, and why it mattersCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with J Way:TikTok: @itsyagirl_jwayBlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.socialListen to these episodes next:The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior PlaybookSurveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way Adoptee Storytelling & Film AdvocacyWork With Me: Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected]

The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior PlaybookEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and co-host/editor J Way kick off a new film mini-series with one of the most infamous adoption movies of all time: The Blind Side. They revisit this Oscar winning film with fresh eyes, exposing its white savior narrative, racist tropes, and the insidious control adoption often masks as care. Together, they dissect the real life harm caused by this story, and why adoptees need to reclaim the mic.In this episode, we cover:(01:33) Why we had to start the series with The Blind Side (03:26) Savior narratives, selective memory, and how adopters used this film as “family time” (07:17) Hallmark vibes, propaganda beats, and the absurd plot construction (10:08) IQ scores, protectiveness tests, and the racist assumptions they reinforce (14:18) Control vs. care, and how Leigh Anne’s character weaponizes both(20:20) Black bodies as tools: protector, athlete, project (23:44) Christianity, purity culture, and domination masked as discipline (30:51) Queer families, carceral systems, and why inclusion isn’t liberation(36:24) “Do you have a mother?” and how the film dehumanizes Michael’s mom (40:26) Ole Miss, Confederate nostalgia, and performative progress (46:10) Final takeaways: who gets to tell the story—and why it mattersCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with J Way:TikTok: @itsyagirl_jwayBlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.socialListen to these episodes next:Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way Adoptee Storytelling & Film AdvocacyWork With Me: Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].

Ashley Albert on Survival, Strategy, and Standing on BusinessEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira is joined by Ashley Albert—organizer, survivor, and founder of Stolen Children’s Month. Ashley shares her journey from foster care and incarceration to becoming the first parent in Washington state to legally enforce and modify an open adoption agreement. Together, they speak truth to power about the family policing system, the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA), and the necessity of abolition. This conversation is about legacy, resistance, and the spiritual practice of staying alive and dangerous in the face of erasure.In this episode, we cover:(00:22) Ashley’s story of survival and her legal breakthrough in Washington State.(06:08) What it really takes to fight for your children—and what the system demands.(09:50) Why Ashley created Stolen Children’s Month and what it means to bear witness.(21:20) The truth about ASFA, adoption incentives, and systemic erasure.(34:30) Spiritual resistance, healing justice, and caring for ourselves as abolitionists.(45:17) Messages for survivors, caregivers, and anyone who's ever felt broken by the system.Connect with Ashley Albert & Stolen Children’s Month:Instagram: @stolenchildrensmonthWebsite: stolenchildrensmonth.comListen to these episodes next:What We Carried from the Black Mothers MarchMutual Aid as Resistance: Building Systems of CareWork With Me: Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].

What We Carried from the Black Mothers MarchEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with her editor and friend J Way to reflect on their experience attending the Black Mothers March in Washington, D.C. From the powerful teach in and the emotional impact of firsthand stories to the joyful moments of community and connection, they unpack what it means to organize, to protest, and to be witnessed. Together, they talk about the dystopian reality we’re living in, the role of media in shaping narratives around adoption and family policing, and how they’re carrying the work forward.In this episode, we cover:(00:22) The power of the Black Mothers March and what made the teach-in so impactful. 06:54) Surveillance, storytelling, and the intersections of state control and care.(11:26) Joy, organizing, and finding community as resistance.(20:39) Reproductive justice, dystopia, and the erasure of Black mothers.(33:40) What we’re carrying forward—and what comes next.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with J Way:TikTok: @itsyagirl_jwayBlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.socialListen to these episodes next:Mutual Aid as Resistance: Building Systems of CareAshley Albert on Survival, Strategy & Standing on BusinessWork With Me: Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].

Adopted Twice: Kinship, Control, and the Cost of SilenceEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with Kat Shahinian-Buffa to explore the layers of secrecy, grief, and reclamation embedded in kinship adoption. From being adopted the day she was born to uncovering that her sister is also her cousin through a DNA test, Kat walks us through her journey of survival, family deception, and international discovery. Together, they dig into the ways adoption alters identity, why even kinship adoption can be deeply harmful, and what it means to raise yourself.In this episode, we cover:(00:20) Kat’s adoption story, growing up with five siblings, and being raised by her biological uncle’s wife.(06:54) Realizing the burden of being “chosen,” perfectionism, and being othered in her adoptive family.(17:37) How DNA tests blew open family secrets—including discovering her sister is also her cousin.(27:15) Why even kinship adoption isn’t inherently safer or healthier—and how it distorts medical history and relationships.(42:10) The long road to healing, mental health support, and raising yourself.Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Kat Shahinian-Buffa:Instagram: @kadasarusBlueSky: @kadasaurus.bsky.socialListen to these episodes next:Raised by Auntie, Called Mom: The Complicated Truth of Kinship AdoptionWork With Me: Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].

Raised by Auntie, Called Mom: The Complicated Truth of Kinship AdoptionEpisode Summary:In this episode, attorney and pro-Black adoptee Aretha Frazier shares her story of being adopted by her aunt in a kinship placement that was far from simple. From navigating family loyalty and control to confronting abuse and the myth of gratitude, Aretha opens up about what it really meant to grow up in a household where blood ties didn’t guarantee safety or care. She and Zaira dive deep into the complexities of kinship adoption, family dynamics, and what it means to center adoptees—especially Black adoptees—in every conversation. This is a raw, necessary look at the assumptions we carry about family, care, and who gets to be believed.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackListen to these episodes next: Adopted Twice: Kinship, Control and the Cost of Silence Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)Special thanks to J. Way for editing the podcast. To collaborate with her, email her at [email protected].

Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J WayEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira is joined by her editor, cinephile, and dear friend J Way. Together, they dive into how adoption narratives are portrayed in film and television, from tropes like the “grateful orphan” to more realistic depictions of systemic harm. J Way shares their experience as a transracial adoptee, the cultural erasure they endured, and the healing power of chosen family, storytelling, and visual media. This powerful conversation unpacks the surveillance, silence, and saviorism that often surround adoption—and what it means to reclaim your story through art and truth.In this episode, we cover:(00:28) J Way’s story: growing up adopted with two sisters in a white household (03:11) Surveillance, culture loss, and being banned from speaking Spanish (05:33) How film became a safe space and helped process adoption trauma (08:49) Media critiques: from Queen’s Gambit tropes to Atlanta’s searing truths (14:52) Social media, saviorism, and adoption propaganda (31:38) Love beyond biology: Zaira’s documentary vision on family policing (37:33) The harm and manipulation of “open” adoptions (47:07) “It’s not about blood”: media rhetoric, savior narratives, and erasureCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines on your favorite podcast platform. Follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for deeper content and community.Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialSubstack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with J Way:TikTok: @itsyagirl_jwayBlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.socialListen to these episodes next: The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior PlaybookAdoptee Storytelling & Film AdvocacyWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships, sponsorships, or collaboration inquiries.Editing by J WaySpecial thanks to J Way for editing this episode. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].

Mutual Aid as Resistance: Building Systems of CareEpisode Summary: In this solo episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira dives deep into the power and necessity of mutual aid. Drawing from personal reflection, historical examples like the Black Panther Party and the Young Lords, and global efforts from Sudan to Florida, this episode highlights how mutual aid has always been about survival. Zaira explores how mutual aid rejects systems of exploitation and centers community care as a form of resistance—especially for marginalized communities continuously neglected by the state.In this episode, we cover:(00:20) What mutual aid is, how it differs from charity, and why it’s essential for survival. (05:13) Historical examples of mutual aid in action—from the Black Panther Party to the Young Lords. (12:35) How mutual aid shows up today across the globe and in local communities. (17:36) The call to practice mutual aid in our daily lives and how storytelling is a form of digital resistance.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackListen to these episodes next:Adoptees & CommunityWhat We Carried from the Black Mothers MarchAshley Albert on Survival Strategy & Standing on BusinessWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)Special thanks to J. Way for editing the podcast. To collaborate with her, email her at [email protected].

Adoptee Storytelling & Film AdvocacyEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with Alexandra, a British and American domestic transracial adoptee who grew up in her birth country of Hong Kong. Alexandra is the festival director of the Adoptee Film Fest, a global in-person and online film festival amplifying adoptee-centered films by adoptee filmmakers. They discuss her journey of navigating identity, community, and storytelling, and how the Adoptee Film Fest came to be. Alexandra shares her experience of growing up in a segregated society, her birth search, and the importance of creating adoptee-centered spaces in media.In this episode, we cover:(00:20) Introduction to Alexandra and her background as a British and American domestic transracial adoptee. (03:13) The impact of growing up in Hong Kong and navigating identity in a segregated society. (10:19) Alexandra’s birth search journey and the challenges of finding community and validation. (20:27) The inception of the Adoptee Film Fest and its importance for the adoptee community. (27:37) The role of storytelling and community building through film. (38:03) Alexandra’s reflections on adoptee representation in media and future plans for the Adoptee Film Fest.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackListen to these episodes next:Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior PlaybookWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing the podcast. To collaborate with her, email her at [email protected].

Root Work and Resilience: The Fight for Black FamiliesEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with Tamara and Tracey Robertson, sisters, healers, and advocates serving as Healers in Residence with Movement for Family Power. Together, they discuss their journey of resisting the harms of the family policing system, while centering Black birth traditions, ancestral wisdom, and community healing. From childhood foundations of faith and service to their powerful doula work, this conversation is a testament to the resilience and power of Black families protecting their own.In this episode, we cover:(03:03) What led Tamara and Tracey to do the healing work they do today.(07:41) Their introduction to the family policing system and how it fueled their advocacy.(16:02) Tamara’s story of caring for her brother and keeping him out of the system.(22:04) Doula work and challenges Black families face during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum care.(32:10) The erasure of Black birth traditions and the need for advocacy in hospital settings.(39:32) What it means to be a Healer in Residence with Movement for Family Power and disrupting the family policing system through love and community.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Tamara Robertson:Instagram: @queeeentamEmail: [email protected] to these episodes next:What We Carried from the Black Mothers MarchMutual Aid as Resistance: Building Systems of CareResources:Movement for Family PowerWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)Special thanks to J. Way for editing the podcast. To collaborate with her, email her at [email protected].

Adoption, Privilege, and the Stories We Tell w/ Patrick ArmstrongEpisode Summary:In this episode, we explore the complexities of adoption, privilege, and the narratives that shape our understanding of family. Through personal stories and critical reflections, we unpack the ways in which adoption is often framed as an unquestionable good while overlooking the systemic issues at play. We discuss the intersection of race, class, and power in adoption, the impact on adoptees, and the importance of centering their voices. This conversation challenges dominant narratives and invites listeners to consider the broader implications of adoption beyond individual experiences. In this episode, we cover:(01:23) Patrick’s adoption story and the moment his identity journey began.(06:05) Rejecting his Asian identity, reading “Too Korean to Be White,” and coming to consciousness.(10:45) Unlearning the dominant adoption narrative and embracing critical adoptee scholarship.(15:20) The Adoptee Consciousness Model and how it reshaped his understanding of identity.(18:03) Storytelling as resistance—and the unexpected healing that comes from being heard.(25:13) Building The Janchi Show and learning from other adoptees through conversation. (30:26) Becoming a parent and breaking generational cycles.(36:36) Burnout, community care, and the daily work of staying grounded. (39:00) Why a “positive adoption story” still carries trauma—and how to talk about it. (43:37) Adoption and abolition: connecting the dots through history and community care. (48:12) What’s next for Patrick and how to support his storytelling work.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Patrick Armstrong:Instagram: @patrickintheworldPodcastsWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].

Annalisa Toccara-Jones on Digital Resistance, Colonial Legacies, and Telling the Truth About AdoptionEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira is joined by Annalisa Toccara-Jones, a UK-based producer, communication strategist, and doctoral researcher in journalism. Together, they explore the intersections of adoption, colonialism, race, and digital community. Annalisa shares her personal journey, the loss and reconnection in her family search, and what her research reveals about how adoptees use social media as a tool for truth-telling and resistance.In this episode, we cover:(01:44) Annalisa’s adoption story, navigating childhood silence, and being made small.(06:22) The train ride that changed everything—and how one article opened the floodgates.(09:15) How social media became a place of connection, validation, and emotional release. (13:56) Her PhD research on adoption, identity, and digital storytelling.(18:24) Adoption as an industry—and how colonialism still shapes global and domestic adoption. (22:46) Shifting narratives: centering adoptees, naming structural racism, and making space for complexity. (30:29) Christianity, identity loss, and how religion shaped her adoption story. (33:12) Her search for biological family, finding her brother online, and the grief that followed. (40:07) What UK records access looks like—and the painful truth she uncovered.(47:07) Final thoughts on healing, self-trust, and showing up as your full self.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackListen to these episodes next:Adoptees & CommunityWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Reflections on Grief, Healing, and Honoring My MomEpisode Summary:In this solo episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira reflects on 2024—one of the most difficult years yet. With raw honesty, she speaks about the grief of losing a mother too soon, the journey of reclaiming memory and identity, and what it means to move through life in the aftermath of family separation. This episode is for anyone navigating complex grief, especially those whose losses are often overlooked.In this episode, we cover:(00:29) Why mutual aid had to wait—and what this episode became instead(02:26) Growing up without space to grieve—and how adoption erased her right to mourn(04:51) Reconnecting with the truth about her mom and imagining what could have been(07:45) Holidays, no-contact, and the loneliness of not having parents to return to(11:21) Reclaiming writing, rediscovering poetry, and healing through words (13:17) An excerpt about grief, identity, and surviving a system that stole her family (16:41) “Living Without Her,” a poem for her mother—and a promise to rememberCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackListen to these episodes next:What We Carried from the Black Mothers MarchWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

The Role of Legal Advocacy in Family Reunification w/ Keshia AdeniyiEpisode Summary: The child welfare system is waging war on Black families, and Keshia Adeniyi-Dorsey is on the front lines. In this episode, she shares her journey from foster child to family defender, exposing the racist roots of CPS and the urgent need for change. Keisha breaks down her tactics for protecting families during CPS investigations, from refusing home entry to shutting down fishing expeditions. Her success rates are fantastic: 95.8% of parental rights protected and 93.7% of families reunified. "We already know, and we've already done in the past, like, right? Like, took care of ourselves, we took care of everybody else's kids too, right? We don't need the system to do it." In this episode, we cover:(00:23) Meet Keshia Adeniyi-Dorsey(01:37) Adoptions and Safe Families Act(06:08) Reality of CPS investigations(12:17) Protecting families during CPS investigations(17:11) Reuniting 93.7% of families (23:46) Challenges of advocating for families OR Dealing with incompetence(28:56) We don’t need police for that OR The color of the system OR  Black families don’t need CPS OR We don’t need help OR Not everyone needs help(35:33) Affording counsel (43:39) Truth to powerCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Keshia: Website LinkedInWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].

Exploring Abolition, Intergenerational Trauma, and Creative Resistance w/ Benjamin Lundberg Torres SánchezEpisode Summary:Words matter. Especially when it comes to adoption. Benjamin Lundberg Torres Sanchez isn't just "adopted" - they were separated from their first family for 28 years. In this episode, we unpack how the language we use shapes our understanding of adoption. Benjamin shares their journey of rejecting industry terminology and embracing more accurate descriptions of their experience. We discuss how this shift in language opens up new possibilities for solidarity and political action. "I think it's just really important to name what happened to us."In this episode, we cover:(00:22) Who is Benjamin Lundberg Torres Sanchez?(01:41) Conceived in violence(04:58) Adoption day(07:23) Good experiences but still angry OR Good vs. bad adoptions(10:10) Learning to think critically about adoption OR Language of adoption(14:35) Being hungry for community OR Availability of light skinned children(18:56) Not only focusing on adoptees OR Adoptees are not alone (26:46) Organized abandonment (28:30) We Are Holding This Magazine(37:46) Intersectionality vs. isolation(44:12) Finding alternative power brokers OR Finding power brokers (48:14) Get curious (51:32) Support BenjaminCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResources:We Are Holding This MagazineBenjamin’s websiteWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Unpacking Adoption w/ Henry: Identity, Community, and HealingEpisode Summary:What happens when a Black child is adopted into a white Mormon family? The Mormon church silenced Henry's identity as a Black transracial adoptee, but he's done being quiet. From "colorblind" racism to the weight of forced gratitude, he exposes the ugly truth behind his adoption. We explore the impact of media representation, the importance of acknowledging adoptee anger, and why abolishing the current system might be the only way forward. Henry shares his journey of finding community with other adoptees and reclaiming his voice. "My life was really to fill this hole in my parents' life instead of my parents being there to raise children.In this episode, we cover:(00:22) Who is Henry? (01:48) Coming out of the fog(03:52) Adopted through the mormon church (06:34) Growing up with adopted sisters (08:26) Adoptees vs. adoptive parents on This is Us OR Adoptees vs. Adoptive parents on TV(13:23) Expectation of gratefulness OR “I want someone to love me”(20:26) Being allowed to feel & express(23:21) Alternatives to family policing OR Mind your own business(26:02) Relationship with adoptive parents while being abolitionist (32:27) Find your inner voice Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResources:Black Adoptee Facebook Group Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Adoption, Therapy, and Self-Discovery: Fai Knudson's StoryEpisode Summary: Fai Knudson grew up in a white, conservative town, always feeling different. As a biracial, transracial adoptee, Faye faced racism and isolation. Leaving their hometown ignited a journey of self-discovery, leading to advocacy and therapy focused on adoptee mental health. In this episode, Fai shares their powerful story, the challenges of being a transracial adoptee, and how they now help others navigate similar paths.In this episode, we cover:(00:18) Who is Fai Knudson? (04:05) Feeling different(05:32) Not allowed to read adoption paperwork (06:30) Coming out of the fog(09:11) Studying adoption for master’s(13:53) Adoptee therapists (21:32) Adoptee care is neglected (28:12) Story behind “Good Faith Therapy”(33:20) Support for adoptees (35:01) Genetic graveyard (36:24) Finding an adoptee affirming therapist (39:34) Partial reunion(47:54) Finding your authentic self Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Fai Knudson: LinkedInGood Faith Therapy Website Good Faith Therapy Instagram  Resources:Peer Support Space Grow Beyond WordsJourney of The Adopted Self Psychology TodayWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Finding Freedom: Reflections on One Year of No ContactEpisode Summary:It's been 365 days since I cut ties with my adopters to protect myself. A year of healing, self-discovery, and finding my voice.  In this episode, I share my no contact journey, the reasons behind my decision, the process of healing, and the freedom I’ve found. Hear my story of setting boundaries, seeking safety, and reclaiming my identity.In this episode, we cover:(00:24) 1 year of no contact (01:50) “but they’re your parents” OR Expectation to be grateful (04:17) How I felt after no contact (06:21) Family policing gaslit me(11:20) Forgiveness as a weapon(14:36) Becoming free, finally(18:01) Getting tattoos (& my favorite one) (20:26) Being able to grieve my mom(30:56) Healing by finding biological family(34:38) Stealing me from my mom  (36:12) #1 reason for child removal (39:43) Why I do this workCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Operation Stop CPS w/ Amanda WallaceEpisode Summary:Amanda Wallace helps families powerfully stop Child Protective Services from stealing their children. In this episode she talk about how you can do it too, how her organization reunited 20+ families, and why we should abolish the belief that the CPS system should even exist. Listen and let’s stop CPS.In this episode, we cover:(00:22) Who is Amanda Wallace?(01:25) Why she wants to stop CPS - Child Protective Services(05:16) Why are you in my house?!(06:32) Repealing the Child Abuse Prevention & Treatment Act + Adoption & Safe Families Act  (08:12) How to respond to CPS (11:29) Reuniting 20 families (15:32) Reparations are not enough(18:08) Black Mother’s March (Collective power)(23:07) Drug testing a birth & Interrogating children (24:42) Creative collabs for collective action(26:50) How can you stop CPS?(33:07) Freedom can happen in our lifetime OR Freedom is not complicatedCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Amanda Wallace: Stop CPS WebsiteInstagramTiktok Resources:Respond In Power Guide Black Mother’s MarchTwisted YogiWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Adoption is Not A Part Of God’s PlanEpisode Summary:Some people who adopt say it’s God’s plan for them to adopt. But, they almost never say that God’s plan is for them NOT to have children. This is just one of the many ways people use religion to justify human trafficking.  I found out, through an archived article, that I was trafficked by the Church through the One Church, One Child movement which operates in 32 states. In this episode, we cover:(00:22) Is adoption God’s plan? (04:23) Forcing adoptees to go to church OR “Go to church or leave”(11:53) Making adoptees mini versions of them  (13:04) Telling my adoptive parents I’m stepping away from the church  (14:51) One Church, One Child business (20:36) The church trafficked me(28:39) Orphan sundays (30:07) Church preaches family separation (hypocritical?)(34:24) Forced assimilation (36:13) Adoption is not God’s planCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and CommunityEpisode Summary: The Church does an excellent job of silencing you if you oppose them. They’d even hire a marketing company to rebrand adoption so that their business as adoption middlemen can continue to thrive. But, it’s not just the Church. The dominant culture is to silence anyone who speaks up against adoption. That was Mila Konomos’ experience once she realized how adoption has wounded her.  Mila tells her story of how she was forcibly removed from her family in 1975 to the realization in 2009 that everything she thought she knew about adoption was a lie. She discusses how reuniting with her biological parents changed everything, how similar she realized she was hto her bio parents, grappling with her identity, the power of speaking up,  and the cultural resistance against accepting the truth about adoption.  Mila is the host of the podcast called Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie. In this episode, we cover:(00:22) Who is Mila Kanomos? (01:39) Being a (clueless) grateful adoptee (06:00) “You had this information all of my life?!”(12:55) Terrified of opposing adoption publicly (15:50) The church is complicit (18:23) Propaganda around adoption (19:38) Surviving reunion (22:04) How do I become Korean?(30:55) Everything you know about adoption is a lie(36:43) Church PAID to rebrand adoption (41:03) Centering adoptee narratives  (44:47) Adoption IS oppression (49:03) What can you do about this?(55:51) You already know who you areCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Mila: InstagramPodcast Instagram Resources:Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie PodcastChild Catchers by Catherine Joyce Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by  Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected]

My Journey To AbolitionContent Warning: Sexual and Physical AbuseEpisode Summary:Every adult in my childhood has failed me, none of them did what they’re supposed to. Every part of the system failed me, it did exactly what it’s supposed to. The system kills children and breaks families, it must be abolished. In this episode, I share how I gradually evolved towards this deep belief starting from a school trip to juvie when I was just 10. I talk about my encounters with the family policing system growing up and how it failed me. My story is not an is not an anomaly or an isolated incident. This is the experience of many children who are victims of the family policing system that they carry with them through adulthood. Abolition is a journey toward collective liberation, this is my journey so far.In this episode, we cover:(00:22) Taking a trip to juvie at 10 years old(04:42) [CW] Punished for speaking up about abuse   (07:30) Losing faith in adoption, police, and the system OR My first encounter with family policing system(10:32) Going to school with bruises on my arm OR “You had a really good school year because DCF did not show up at my door” OR DCF shows up, I’m a disappointment OR DCF gets me in trouble(16:41) My adopters’ public facade OR Where my skepticism started OR Losing respect for authority(25:54) The system doesn’t care about children [CW: school shootings] OR They let alligators eat Black babies (true story)(31:45) My journey with queerness OR Queer people in evangelical homes Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackListen to this episodes next:Alan DettlaffResources:Torn Apart by Dorothy Roberts Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System 13th Documentary  The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Navigating Change: A Conversation with Josh Lamers, Co-founder of Collective of Child Welfare SurvivorsEpisode Summary: Adoption is trauma. How do we help surviving children heal the wounds they’ve sustained from the child welfare system? Josh Lamers, a transracial adoptee, is public enemy #1 for child welfare agencies in Canada. He joins the show to discuss what adoption and child welfare are like in Canada; and how his organization, Collective of Child Welfare Survivors, advocates for child welfare survivors though addressing harm reduction, counseling, unpacking racial displacement, and community development…amongst many other things. “The child who's now back in your home is not the same child who was taken out of your home.” In this episode, we cover:(00:21) Who is Josh Lamers?(01:57) His transracial adoption experience OR “My adoption was illegal”(08:51) How child welfare works in Canada OR Adoption system in Canada (13:47) Insights from studying adoption OR What’s wrong with research about adoption(23:51) Psychiatric system and adoption (26:26) Disability and adoption (and why Josh’s adoption was illegal)(32:22) Myth of “unmanageable kids”(34:05) How they advocate for child welfare survivors (45:50) How to support child advocacy workCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResources:Outsiders Within Collective of Child Welfare Survivors: Donate Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected]

Adoptees & Community Episode Summary:Most adoption communities center adoptive parents and foster parents. We are left out of the picture. This doesn’t make sense. This episode is a collection of my thoughts on this matter. “One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance; places where we know we are not alone.” - Bell HooksIn this episode, we cover:(00:23) Healing power of community (04:41) Feeling disillusioned by my adoption (05:59) My adopters in public vs. at home (what people don’t know about adoptive parents)(07:55) Grassroots communities vs. government agencies (08:57) If only my mom had community support (11:39) Looking for spaces with adoptees OR I didn’t know other adoptees (15:06) Struggling with suicidal ideation (18:35) Belonging nowhere  (20:38) What binds the adoptee community together Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResources:Race, Gender, and Cultural Politics by Bell Hooks Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare SystemEpisode Summary:It was when Alan arrived at a home with the cops to remove a child and heard his mother say “Charles, run, they're coming to take you and they're going to sell you to the white people” that he realized how the trauma of slavery cannot be disentangled from the trauma of family separation. It was in this moment that he realized the harm he’s done to many families and decided to take a different path. Today, Alan Dettlaff is an abolitionist and co-founder of the upEND Movement. In this episode we explore the racist legacy of the child welfare system through discussing Alan’s book Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System: The Case for Abolition.In this episode, we cover:(00:23) Who is Alan Dettlaff? (01:35) Removing children from their families OR He was complicit(04:16) Why reforms don’t work (and what does)(08:32) Why the family policing system is racist(14:31) What’s wrong with mandatory reporting laws?(20:23) Trump’s Zero Tolerance Policy (23:58) People wanted to end family separations previously (25:25) Everyday acts of abolition (that you can do)(31:55) Social workers and the abolitionist movement (35:06) “Run, they’re going to sell you to white people” OR Trauma of slavery vs. trauma of family separations  (38:19) Learning more from Alan DettlaffCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResources: Alan Dettlaff’s book: Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System: The Case for AbolitionUpend Movement: Donate | Podcast Torn Apart by Dorothy Roberts Abolitionist Perspectives In Social Work Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Unveiling Roots: The Journey of Gregory D. Luce, Attorney and Advocate for Adoptee RightsEpisode Summary:Us adoptees have to pay thousands of dollars and jump through hoops to unseal our records. This robs us of autonomy, dignity, and equality.  Gregory D. Luce is an attorney who helps adoptees all across the US go through this hurdle. In this episode we discuss Greg’s personal adoption journey that made him so passionate about adoptee rights. We also discuss the important work that he does around adoptee records through his organizations the Adoptee Rights Law Center and Adoptees United. In this episode, we cover:(00:22) Baby scoop era (03:07) Was never “in the fog”(05:14) Divorce of his adoptive parents (06:17) Pay $500 to find no records?(07:20) Finding his mom coincidentally (08:23) Establishing the Adoptee Rights Law Center (10:58) Inheriting his mom’s records and belongings (14:25) What restrictions are in YOUR state?(16:54) Adoption records issue for non-US adoptions and illegal adoptions(20:16) What are baby boxes?(21:52) Adoption after abolition (what will it look like?) OR You can’t end adoption(25:58) Why accessing adoption records matters(27:36) What do Adoptees United do? (31:30) Adoptee causes need MONEY(34:28) Future of adoptee rights (38:07) How to support Greg’s work Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Gregory D. Luce:TwitterResources: Adoptee Rights Law Center Adoptees UnitedDonate to Adoptees United Dorothy RobertsWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to  Samuel Oyedele for editing this podcast. 

Torn Apart: How the Child Welfare System Destroys Black Families--and How Abolition Can Build a Safer WorldEpisode Summary: More than anyone else, black women get their children kidnapped by the state, by the child “welfare system”. This episode is about the whys and hows of abolishing a system built to strip families away from their children. Through discussing Torn Apart by Dr. Dorothy Roberts, we examine the history and laws that have led to the birth of armed and violent social workers. We also explore the many opportunities around how transformative justice can save lives. “Hope is a discipline” - Mariame KabaListen to these episodes next:(00:23) Black women’s childbearing is devalued (04:29) What’s family policing?(07:21) Weaponizing child removal (14:25) Alternative to the child welfare system?(19:03) A law that strips away Black mothers’ rights, FAST(33:53) From adoption to murder-suicide(35:45) Armed social workers? (tragic family policing stories)(47:48) Is abolition helpful or harmful to children?(56:33) How to reimagine the systemCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Dr. Dorothy Roberts:TwitterResources: Torn Apart by Dr. Dorothy RobertsShattered Bonds We were once a family by Roxanna AsgarianJMACforFamiliesupEND MovementMovement for Family PowerWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Embracing Identity: John's Journey of Self-DiscoveryEpisode Summary: Reuniting with his birth family showed John McCormick, a transracial adoptee, a new world. He physically felt a relaxation he had never felt before, he connected with music and art like never before, and he started to own who he is - confidently - even when others denied his identity. This is the story of how John’s reunion with his bio family was a healing journey that led him to reclaim an identity he was stripped of. In this episode, we cover:(00:26) Finding his family because of a coincidence OR Having his original birth certificate (06:08) I’m not Irish, I’m Colombian OR Loneliness of having a lost identity OR Who am I, even?(10:05) Strange feelings after meeting his family OR Deciding to move to Colombia(13:54) Reconnecting with music and art (19:06) Getting confident about his identity OR Confidently reclaiming his identity (despite the haters)(24:48) Working with his therapist (28:48) How his adoptive family feels about him reconnecting with his bio family(32:17) Preparing to meet your bio family Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with John McCormick:Website Resources:Colombian Influence PodcastWisdom and Nonsense PodcastGrow Heal Blossom Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiriesEditing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Emily's Journey: Identity, Language Learning, and Adoption RealitiesEpisode Summary: After 9 months of living with monks, Emily Harris was adopted from China. She was left behind by her bio family due to the One Child Policy. To process her loss of identity, she has started to learn Chinese with a community of adoptees.  In this episode, she talks about how language learning helps, why she wishes she was white, and the hardships of being a Chinese adoptee in the US.In this episode, we cover:(00:24) Getting adopted from China(07:18) Pandemic racism (09:29) Processing identity loss through language learning(11:24) Not wanting to share the language with non-adoptees(15:10) Belonging nowhere (20:58) One child policy(23:43) Distance created by religion (27:02) Reckoning with being chinese OR “I want to be white”(31:40) The note her birth family left her(35:22) For adoptees learning their bio language…(38:23) Connect with EmilyCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Emily Harris:Instagram TwitterResources:Language Travel Adoptee on YouTubeLanguage Wellness and Identity PodcastWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Adoption Trauma, Mental Health, and Suicide Risk with Lina VanegasEpisode Summary:Though Lina Vanegas was born to a Colombian family, she was forced to assimilate as a white jewish person. 38 years later, she’s unable to fully connect with her bio family nor speak their language. Forced assimilation is trauma. Her mission is to educate people on adoption trauma. In the episode, she gives a crash course on why adoption is trauma, what to do if you want to adopt in a trauma-informed way, and how to go down the rabbit hole of being adoption-trauma informed. In this episode, we cover:(00:32) Can you make up for 38 years of loss?(05:08) Forced assimilation in childhood (07:11) Can’t speak my own language (09:14) Rescripting the narrative (10:31) If you’re thinking of adopting, do THIS.(20:05) Why she’s educating the public (24:42) Adoption is preventable trauma OR Mental health and adoption(28:07) Suicide among adoptees OR Why is adoption trauma? [EXPLAINED] (31:57) Intervention for adoptees (38:07) Finding an adoption-competent therapist [HOW-TO](42:00) Educate yourself(43:50) Connect with Lina VanegasCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect with Lina Vanegas:InstagramTwitter Resources: Rescripting The Narrative PodcastAdopted From Colombia Facebook GroupDorothy Roberts researcherThe Child Catchers by Katherine JoyceWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (AV Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Navigating No Contact: Adoptees' Journeys to HealingEpisode Summary:Should you cut off your adoptive parents? Should you “go no contact” with your adoptive parents? “Oh hell no. Not this time. I’m done.” That’s what we felt before cutting off contact with your adoptive parents. Sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do is to go no contact with our adoptive parents. Escaping abuse. Escaping racism. Escaping pain. In this episode we share what made us go no contact, discuss what it’s like, and share our personal advice to adoptees considering going no contact. In this episode, we cover:(00:34) What is “going no contact”(01:27) Dr. Noelle’s no contact story(07:45) The first time I heard the N-word(08:23) Lia’s no contact story (14:45) The “I’m DONE” moment(17:27) Cost of going no contact(20:55) The huge disconnect(23:57) What does it take to go no contact? (25:58) Going no contact WHILE raising kids OR Greatest fear OR What to do if your children talk to you about your mistakes (34:01) On the fence about going no contact? OR Should you go no contact?Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Navigating Holidays as an Adoptee: Exploring Complex Emotions & Self CareEpisode Summary: For adoptees, holidays mean performance. Acting like you care, acting like you’re happy, acting like you’re grateful. And if you don’t perform, then you live in guilt. It’s ironic, because adoption itself is an act. Join us as we explore this and discuss what holidays are like for us adoptees. In this episode, we cover:(00:38) Father’s day for adoptees (08:01) Mother’s day for adoptees(11:15) Creating your own holiday traditions (13:46) Thanksgiving and christmas for adoptees (16:38) Always in debt(18:29) “Performing” Christmas (20:14) Ruining the vibe (21:00) Not invited(24:46) Doing your own thing(25:39) Birthdays for adoptees(29:47) The most f*cked up holiday OR Gotcha Day (33:37) Advice to adoptive families about holidays OR Question for adoptive families OR What every adoptive family must answerCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Challenging Adoption Norms and Embracing Queer Parenting: A Conversation with YomiEpisode Summary:Selling children is human trafficking, so why isn’t adoption considered human trafficking? It’s state-sanctioned trafficking with a paper trail. Ayomide Bee shares her adoption story as a queer transracial adoptee. Their take is not only that gay couples shouldn’t adopt - but that adoption should be abolished. Listen to her origin story & views. “Just because it's legal doesn't mean that it's not trafficking. Slavery was legal. The residential homes were legal. Legality doesn't mean a goddamn thing.” - Ayomide BeeIn this episode, we cover:(00:31) Story of Ayomide Bee(02:32) Always being the topic of conversation OR Knowing yourself by how people talk about you OR Our story = other people’s stories of us?(04:23) Coming out of the fog OR Finding wonky stuff in the adoption paperwork (05:22) Being forced into adoption (08:07) Decision to go no contact(12:13) How she wants her adoptive parents to take accountability(14:15) Should gay couples adopt? (19:58) Is adoption human trafficking? (25:24) Adoption alternatives (28:48) Relationship w/bio grandma (who suggested adoption) OR Anger toward grandma (37:19) What does abolishing adoption look like?(40:30) Connecting with AyomideCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackConnect With Ayomide: Instagram Substack Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected]

Activism & Origin Story: Erica BabinoEpisode Summary: What’s it like to be an activist for adoptees? What’s the story of someone who is an adoptees activist? How would you feel if you discovered that your bio mom lives on your street, after you’ve been searching for her for 25 years? This week, we speak to Erica Babino a Black same race adoptee who is a former American Adoption Congress Board Member. We discuss if it’s possible to ever separate your identity from being adopted, adoption myths, and how to normalize anti-adoption.  In this episode, we cover:(00:31) An adoptees’ rights activist, Erica Babino(01:08) Her origin story OR 25 years of searching (04:04) Do you ever stop feeling adopted?(06:36) The moment she met her bio mom OR First bio meeting = no tears, no hugs?(09:32) Do good adoption families also cause trauma? (13:12) Most important thing adoptive parents must do (14:43) Experience as an American Adoption Congress board member(19:01) Right to a birth certificate (21:18) How to be an adoptee activist(24:10) Going through reunion OR Can’t prepare for reunion (26:30) Best advice for birth families Resources:Adoptees United American Adoption Congress Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Dr. Noelle's Origin Story: A Journey of Adoption, Identity, and ReunionEpisode Summary: Two white people raised me, a Black child. I’m Dr. Noelle and this is the secret filled story of my adoption.In this episode, we cover:(00:00) Cosplaying as adoptees?(01:35) The stories I was told(05:30) My abusive adoptive mother (06:15) Taking a DNA test to find my family(09:42) They didn’t know I existed (15:39) Whole for the first time in my life(17:03) My bio mom’s origin story (21:35) Uncomfortable being mothered(26:43) What would’ve been…Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].

Navigating Adoption and Rediscovering Family: Lia's JourneyEpisode Summary:I’m Lia and this is my adoptee origin story from foster care to reuniting with my siblings. In this episode, we cover:(01:02) What I was told about my bio parents(02:18) What actually happened (04:59) My adoptive parents (05:34) My birth father’s side of the story(06:36) My access to adoption information(10:04) Accessing my biological family name(12:33) Meeting my siblings (19:49) Aspirations for biological relationships(21:47) What I tell people about my background(25:21) What’s medical foster care?(26:35) Death of my foster mom (Ms. Loretta) & my bio momCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Exploring the Impact of Adoption on Mental Health: Insights from AdopteesContent Warning: Suicide, Suicidal ideation, Involuntary hospitalizationEpisode Summary: Adoptees are 4x more likely to attempt suicide, in this episode we unpack why that is. Being an adoptee is a lifelong sentence, we have to cosplay as someone else’s child, we belong almost nowhere - and on top of all that, we invest emotional labor educating therapists about our mental health. Throughout the episode, we answer questions you’ve asked us on Twitter about adoptee mental health. In this episode, we cover:(00:00) Content Warning(00:47) Should the state fund adoptee therapy?(02:21) Cosplaying as someone else’s child(07:40) Why adoptees struggle with mental health(11:31) Why holidays suck for us(13:23) Does sharing our experiences help? (19:26) The anger inside of us(24:07) Finding an adoptee-competent therapist OR Finding a therapist that understands adoption OR Finding a therapist you don’t have to teach(29:10) What works (other than therapy)? (32:57) Societal gaslighting against adopteesCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResources: Adoptee Therapists DirectoryWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Navigating Parenthood as Adoptees: Insights from Dr. Noelle and ToshaEpisode Summary: What’s it like when you’re adopted and then become a parent? We discuss the unexpected joys and reliefs of parenting, the mistakes we were almost programmed to make, how parenting can heal us, how to tell your children you’re adopted, and being careful about not placing a burden on our children that they aren’t equipped to carry. PS: If it isn’t clear yet, we would never put our children up for adoption. In this episode, we cover:(00:00) How being an adoptee affects the way you parent OR Adoptee parenting patterns(05:46) Being a helicopter mom(07:16) “No way I was putting my child up for adoption”(08:47) Late discovery adoptees (11:29) Telling your kids you’re adopted (16:34) Are adoptees better parents?(20:51) Disadvantages of being an adopted parent OR Biggest regret as an adopted parent(25:57) Parenting and healing (31:15) Greatest joy of parenting (33:55) Advice for adoptive parents(35:31) LegacyCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected]

Identity & AdoptionEpisode Summary:In this episode, we dive into the complex topic of identity and how it intersects with adoption. We discuss how adoption severs connections to identity, the disconnection adoptees feel, the complications of biological family searches, and the struggle to reconcile our identities with the information we discover.This episode covers:(00:49) How adoptees define identity and the struggle of reclaiming it(02:17) The impact of finding out you were adopted on identity and self-esteem(05:37) The feeling of disconnection and not having a clear sense of identity(09:50) Reunion journeys, DNA testing, and the search for answers(18:51) How others label adoptees and the difficulty of being fluid in identity(24:36) The power dynamics in identity decisions and how society shapes them(32:12) The harmful impact of altered birth certificates and erasure of identityCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResources:Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here.Work With Me:Email: [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele:Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].

Exploring Blackness and Adoption: Navigating Identity and ChallengesEpisode Summary:In this episode, we discuss the unique and often challenging experience of being a Black adoptee. We explore the intersection of Blackness and adoption, the harmful impact of transracial adoption, how the adoption industry profits from Black children, and the ways in which Black adoptees navigate identity, culture, and trauma.This episode covers:(00:29) Introduction to Blackness and Adoption(03:50) The cost difference between Black and white children in the adoption industry(07:41) The transactional nature of adoption and dehumanization of Black children(12:41) The intentional erasure of Black identity in transracial adoptions(15:02) Experiences of internalized racism and coming into Black identity(20:20) How adoption perpetuates slavery-like dynamics and ownership of children(25:01) Reclaiming Blackness and identity as a Black adopteeCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResources:Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here.Work With Me:Email: [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele:Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].

Navigating Relationships as an AdopteeEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Noelle, Lia, and Tosha explore the complexities of navigating relationships as adoptees. From dating to friendships and family dynamics, they discuss how adoption trauma, abandonment issues, and people-pleasing tendencies impact their ability to connect with others. The conversation delves into why adoptees may struggle to feel secure in relationships and why educating partners and friends is so important. They also provide advice for those looking to build healthy relationships with adoptees.In this episode, we cover:(01:03) Sharing adoption status with partners and how it affects relationships.(03:25) Lia discusses the difficulty of explaining estranged family relationships.(04:05) Noelle reflects on fear of abandonment and its impact on introducing partners to family.(06:26) The burden of educating partners and the need for them to educate themselves.(07:51) Noelle’s positive experience of having a partner who actively learns about adoption.(09:16) The struggle of being a people pleaser due to adoption trauma.(12:22) Lia’s struggle to believe people truly care about her and feeling disposable.(14:17) Noelle’s difficulty with bonding and having few deep relationships.(15:45) The pressure to constantly put others first and ignore one's own needs.(18:08) Noelle struggles to assert herself and avoid making others uncomfortable.(19:05) Lia’s experience with friends not understanding how deeply adoption affects her.(21:02) Lia’s attempt to address trauma with her adoptive parents and how it went poorly.(22:55) The challenge of confronting adoptive parents about trauma and lack of accountability.(24:51) The most challenging aspects of navigating relationships as an adoptee.(28:08) Advice for those looking to build healthy relationships with adoptees.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResources:Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here.Work With Me:Email: [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele:Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].

Saviorism, Narcissism, and the Adoption IndustryEpisode Summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Noelle, Lia, and Tosha discuss adoption as it relates to saviorism and narcissism, particularly in the context of adoptive parents. They explore how saviorism centers the adoptive parents while disregarding the child's needs and how adoption as an industry upholds harmful power dynamics. This conversation highlights the common thread of narcissism found in many adoptive parents' experiences and questions the standards of evaluating prospective adoptive parents. Additionally, they discuss how family separation is upheld as a means to create a 'better life' for children, rather than providing resources to preserve families.In this episode, we cover:(00:33) Defining Saviorism and Its Connection to Adoption. (03:11) The Profitable Nature of the Adoption Industry.(04:10) Adoption Framed as a “Good Home” vs. “Bad Home.”(05:06) Transracial Adoption and the White Savior Complex.(06:05) The Harmful Narratives of 'Saving' Black Children.(07:02) The Biases in Adoption Systems Against Black & Brown Families. (09:00) The Role of Narcissism in Adoption.(11:52) Emotional Burden on Adoptees and the Need for Support. (13:38) Infertility and Narcissistic Patterns in Adoption. (14:37) The Carceral Nature of the Child Welfare System.(17:26) The Manipulation of 'Selflessness' in Adoption Narratives. (20:05) Understanding Adoption Trauma.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResource:Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here.Work With Me: Email: [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele: Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].

Why We’re Not GratefulEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Noelle, Lia, and Tosha dive into the complicated and often misunderstood topic of gratitude within the adoption experience. They discuss why the expectation of gratefulness placed upon adoptees is harmful and how it serves to silence their pain and experiences. The conversation explores the disconnect between the adoption community and the adoptee community, the harsh realities adoptees face, and why they refuse to conform to the narrative of being “grateful” for family separation.In this episode, we cover:(01:06) The difference between the adoption community and the adoptee community.(04:26) Questioning the expectation of gratitude for being separated from family.(07:22) Challenging the societal narrative of adoptees needing to be grateful.(09:16) Lia's powerful reflection on surviving abuse within her adoptive family.(10:42) The failure of social workers and the child welfare system to truly protect children.(14:30) The lifelong sentence of being an adoptee and its impact on identity.(15:00) The carceral nature of the child welfare system and how it fails families.(17:24) The dismissal of birthright and the hurtful expectation of adoptees to be grateful.(18:46) The inconsistency of adoption practices within families.(19:41) The absence of emotional support and how it impacts adoptee experiences.(27:49) Tosha’s observation on the narcissism and unpreparedness of adoptive parents.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackResources:Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here.Work With Me:Email: [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele:Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].

Adoption & Reunion: Finding Family, Healing WoundsEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Lia, Noelle, and Tosha discuss the complexities of reunion and how reconnecting with biological family members can bring both healing and heartbreak. They share personal stories of searching for family, facing rejection, embracing acceptance, and navigating the emotional toll of reunion. With candid insights and thoughtful advice, they explore the ups and downs of finding their families and making sense of their experiences.In this episode, we cover:(00:05) Introduction to the episode and listener submission about reunion.(01:03) Defining reunion and how it differs for each adoptee.(02:54) Personal reunion stories and unique family dynamics.(08:10) Navigating expectations and working with therapists.(11:04) The pain of rejection and the fear of abandonment.(14:24) Feeling like a disruption and finding acceptance.(19:13) How grief and reunion are intertwined.(23:32) The importance of support groups and adoption-competent therapy.(29:26) Hopes for the future and continuing the reunion journey.(32:52) Advice for those starting their own reunion journey.Resources:Peer Support Space - Free Global Online Peer Support Group for Survivors of the Family Policing SystemCall To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackListen to these episodes next:Lia's Episode: Lia shares her personal journey of coming out of the fog, confronting the trauma of adoption, and navigating her relationship with her adoptive family and biological roots.Noelle's Episode: Noelle discusses her experience as a transracial adoptee, the complexities of reunion, and how identity plays a critical role in her healing journey.Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor):Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Adoption & Grief: Navigating Loss and IdentityEpisode Summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Lia, Noelle, and Tosha explore the complex intersection of adoption and grief, diving into how adoptees often experience deep emotional losses that are rarely acknowledged. They discuss topics such as the erasure of identity through name changes, longing for connection, the impact of secrecy, and how grief manifests both emotionally and physically. This candid conversation sheds light on the unique grief adoptees carry and the importance of finding support and healing.In this episode, we cover:(00:05) Introduction to co-hosts and reflections on the podcast's growing audience.(01:03) How name changes impact identity and grief.(04:22) The emotional and physical manifestations of grief in adoptees.(07:14) Feeling like an outsider within adoptive and biological families.(08:42) Grieving alone and the lack of validation for adoptee grief.(09:40) Statistics on adoptee mental health and how adoption is trauma.(11:07) The importance of adoption-competent therapy and peer support.(16:18) The impact of secrecy and being forced to hide the truth.(19:44) Searching for biological family members and unmet expectations.(22:56) Finding healing and community through writing, creative expression, and peer support.(27:44) Creating a safe space for adult survivors of the child welfare system.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackListen to these episodes next:Exploring the Impact of Adoption on Mental Health: Insights from AdopteesAdoption Trauma, Mental Health, and Suicide Risk with Lina VanegasReflections on Grief, Healing, and Honoring My MomWork With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].

Coming Out of the Fog: The Truth About AdoptionEpisode Summary:In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Lia, Noelle, and Tosha share their experiences as adoptees and dive deep into topics often ignored or misrepresented in mainstream conversations about adoption. Together, they discuss coming out of the fog, dispelling harmful myths, and the complicated journey of finding healing and community. This episode offers a raw and honest conversation about adoption and the trauma it brings, while highlighting the power of connection and authenticity.In this episode, we cover:(00:05) Introduction to co-hosts and what drew them to the podcast.(02:52) Personal adoption stories and early experiences.(07:38) The concept of 'coming out of the fog' and what that means to each co-host.(15:19) Misconceptions and myths about adoption.(20:01) Exploring connections with adoptive parents and biological family members.(25:41) Goals and hopes for the podcast moving forward.Call To Action:Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.comInstagram: @adopteescrossinglinesBlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.socialTikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines SubstackListen to these episodes next:Lia's Episode: Lia shares her personal journey of coming out of the fog, confronting the trauma of adoption, and navigating her relationship with her adoptive family and biological roots.Noelle's Episode: Noelle discusses her experience as a transracial adoptee, the complexities of reunion, and how identity plays a critical role in her healing journey.Alan Dettlaff’s Episode: An insightful conversation with Alan Dettlaff, an abolitionist and advocate deeply rooted in efforts to dismantle the family policing system. Alan shares their journey of understanding the harmful impacts of the system, their personal experiences, and their vision for transformative change.Dorothy Roberts’ Episode: A powerful interview with Dorothy Roberts, acclaimed scholar and author of Torn Apart. Dorothy discusses the historical and present-day harms of the family policing system, offering a compelling argument for abolition and highlighting how systemic racism continues to harm Black families.Work With Me:Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.