Aligned & A Little Unhinged

Everyone throws around the word "narcissist"… but most people don't actually understand what it means—or why they keep ending up in the same patterns. In this episode, we sit down with marriage and relationship therapist Aubrey Perez to break it all down. We get into the different types of narcissism, what's actually happening underneath those behaviors, and how it shows up in real relationships. But more importantly, we talk about YOU—your triggers, your patterns, and the unconscious ways you might be recreating the same dynamic over and over again. We also dive into what it really means to create safety in a relationship (and no, it's not just about finding the "right" partner), how to identify your core values, and how to stop abandoning yourself in the process of trying to be loved. If you've ever questioned your relationship, your standards, or why you keep attracting the same kind of person—this episode will hit. This isn't about blaming them. It's about understanding you… so you can finally choose differently.   Find Aubrey here: Instagram: @amptherapyforyou TikTok: @amptherapy4u   Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_

In this episode, we're calling out the biggest myths around feminine energy that are being pushed all over social media. From the "soft girl" era to "just receive and don't chase," there's a lot being taught that sounds good… but is actually creating confusion, passivity, and disconnection. We break down what feminine energy is not, where these ideas go wrong, and why being in your feminine has nothing to do with being naive, avoidant, or dependent. This is part 1 of a 2-part series where we strip it back to truth — so you can actually understand what it means to show up grounded, self-led, and powerful in your life.   Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_

There are two voices inside you, the bully and the hero. In this episode of Aligned & A Little Unhinged, we break down how these two identities show up in your everyday life, shaping your decisions, your confidence, and the way you see yourself. The bully is the voice that criticizes, doubts, and keeps you small. The hero is the one that leads, takes ownership, and follows through, even when it's uncomfortable. We talk about how most people unknowingly let the bully run the show, and how that keeps them stuck in cycles of self-sabotage, inconsistency, and low self-trust. But we also dive into how to shift, how to start building the hero within you through awareness, discipline, and keeping promises to yourself. Because the life you want isn't built by the bully. It's built by the version of you who shows up anyway. If you've been stuck in your head, doubting yourself, or feeling like you're your own worst enemy… this episode will hit.

In this episode, we're just catching you up on life. We talk about what it looks like to step into new chapters — new careers, new relationships, new levels — and everything that comes with it… including the imposter syndrome, the doubt, and the "what am I even doing?" moments. Shelby shares about starting something new and navigating that uncomfortable space of doing things differently, while Cass dives into going all in on her business, her fitness journey, and stepping into a new relationship. This one is real, a little unfiltered, and probably something a lot of you will relate to if you're in a season of growth that doesn't feel fully stable yet. Because becoming who you said you wanted to be doesn't always feel confident… sometimes it just feels like figuring it out as you go.

Everyone loves to talk about the glow-up. No one talks about the part where your life feels like it's falling apart. In this episode, we break down Alex Hormozi's concept of the Valley of Despair—the phase where you've outgrown your old life, but your new one hasn't fully landed yet. And honestly? This is where most people quit. We go deep into why healing feels more like loss than gain in the beginning—losing relationships, identity, comfort, and the versions of you that once felt safe… even if they were keeping you stuck. We talk about: Why this phase feels so heavy and disorienting What's actually happening in your mind and nervous system Why going back to your old patterns will always feel easier—but cost you everything And how to actually move through it instead of getting stuck or self-sabotaging If you feel like you're in the middle of losing everything… this episode will help you understand why. You're not broken. You're just in the valley. And if you can stay here long enough—you'll become someone your old life could never hold. Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_  

In this episode, Cass and Shelby sit down with Aubrey, an AMFT specializing in Brainspotting Therapy, to talk about relationships — why they're beautiful, why they're hard, and why therapy can be one of the most helpful tools when problems arise. We dive into common relationship struggles like communication breakdowns, emotional triggers, and unresolved patterns, and how couples can begin navigating those challenges in healthier ways. We also unpack narcissism — what it actually is, why it's often misunderstood, and how narcissistic dynamics can show up in relationships. Aubrey loves working with couples, helping people process grief, and supporting victims of narcissistic abuse. She incorporates Brainspotting and DBT skills into therapy with a focus on communication, understanding, and emotional regulation. Find Aubrey here: Instagram: @amptherapyforyou TikTok: @amptherapy4u   Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_

In this episode, we dive into attachment styles — the patterns that shape how we show up in relationships. From anxious attachment and the fear of abandonment, to avoidant attachment and the instinct to pull away, these dynamics often develop early in life and continue to influence how we connect, communicate, and experience love. We break down what each attachment style looks like, why certain relationship dynamics feel so intense, and how anxious and avoidant patterns often create the push-pull cycles so many people experience in dating and long-term relationships. Most importantly, we talk about how healing actually happens. Not by blaming your past, but by becoming aware of the patterns, regulating your nervous system, and learning how to build secure, healthy connection. If you've ever wondered why you keep attracting the same type of partner or why certain relationships trigger you so deeply, this conversation will give you the awareness and tools to begin changing those patterns.   Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_

In this episode, we talk about the black coffee rule — the idea that not everything in life is meant to be sweetened. Some seasons are bitter. Some truths are uncomfortable. And growth rarely tastes the way we expect it to. We explore how our instinct to avoid discomfort, rush healing, or sugarcoat reality can keep us stuck — and how learning to sit with life as it is builds resilience, clarity, and self-trust. Because the people who grow the most aren't the ones who avoid bitterness… They're the ones who learn to taste it without running. Sometimes it's bitter. But it's still good. Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_

Leadership isn't a title — it's an identity. In this episode, we break down what real leadership actually looks like and why it always starts with self-leadership. We talk about: Why ownership is the foundation of leadership How lack of clarity creates dysfunction The role ego plays in poor leadership Why emotional regulation is a leadership skill How leaders set the tone in every environment If you're leading a business, a family, a relationship, or yourself, this conversation will challenge you to look at where responsibility actually belongs. Because you don't get to blame and call yourself a leader. Leadership starts with you. Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_  

This week, we're talking about situationships—and why so many people stay stuck in them far longer than they want to admit. If you've ever been in something that felt like a relationship but was never clearly defined… If you've been emotionally invested while the other person stayed vague, inconsistent, or noncommittal… If you kept hoping clarity, effort, or commitment would eventually come… This episode is for you. We break down what's actually happening beneath the surface in situationships, including: Why situationships feel so hard to leave, even when they're painful How limerence keeps you attached to potential instead of reality The role attachment styles and nervous system dysregulation play Why inconsistency creates stronger emotional bonds than consistency How "waiting for clarity" slowly erodes self-trust The difference between mutual interest and emotional unavailability Why calm, secure connection can feel boring when you're used to chaos We also talk about the subtle ways people abandon themselves in these dynamics—by not asking for what they need, minimizing their desires, or staying silent to avoid "scaring someone away." And we get honest about this truth: If someone wanted to build something with you, you wouldn't be confused. This episode isn't about blaming yourself. It's about understanding why your body, brain, and heart got hooked—and how to start choosing clarity, safety, and self-respect instead. Because real love doesn't live in mixed signals. And healing starts when you stop mistaking uncertainty for chemistry. Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_

High performers don't quit. They just slowly lose themselves trying to hold everything together. Burnout doesn't show up as collapse at first. It shows up as irritability. Brain fog. Emotional numbness. Resentment toward the life you worked so hard to build. In this episode, we break down: • Why burnout is common in driven, capable people • How "pushing through" actually makes it worse • What to do when rest doesn't even feel restful anymore • And how to rebuild capacity without losing your edge This isn't about doing less. It's about learning how to sustain more — without self-abandonment. Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_

Your relationship with conflict reveals your relationship with yourself. Do you shut down? People-please? Get defensive? Over-explain? Pull away before you can be left? In this episode, we dive into how rejection, abandonment, and fear of failure shape the way you show up in relationships—and why learning to navigate conflict from an aligned, regulated place is non-negotiable if you want a life that actually feels safe, connected, and fulfilling. Conflict isn't something to fear. It's an invitation to meet yourself more honestly. Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_

Every January we set goals with the best intentions… and every February we're right back where we started. In this episode, we break down why New Year's resolutions don't stick—and why goal setting fails when it's built on willpower instead of identity. We talk about the missing piece no one is teaching you: becoming the person who already lives the life you're chasing. This isn't about doing more. It's about being different. We dive into identity shifts, embodiment, and the practical tools that help you stop starting over and finally create lasting change—mentally, emotionally, and physically. If you're tired of "trying harder" and ready to become her, this episode is for you. Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_

Confidence is one of the most misunderstood things in personal growth. In this episode of Aligned & A Little Unhinged, we break down what confidence is not, and what it actually is. We debunk the myths that keep people chasing approval, perfection, and external validation, and explain why none of that creates real self-trust. We talk about confidence as a skill, not a personality trait. Something you build through action, consistency, and learning to keep promises to yourself. If you've ever felt like confident people were just "born that way," this episode will completely shift how you see yourself, and what's possible for you. Reach out to us on Social Media! Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_

Welcome to Aligned & A Little Unhinged. In this first episode, we're introducing ourselves—who we are, where we've been, and what brought us here. We share our personal stories, the experiences that shaped us, and the moments that pushed us to create a space for real, honest conversations. This podcast was created for people who are doing the work—or feeling the pull to start. The ones navigating growth, healing, relationships, ambition, and identity in real time. The ones who want to be aligned, but aren't afraid to be a little unhinged in the process. Here, we'll be talking about mindset, embodiment, emotional regulation, relationships, discipline, faith, and what it actually looks like to live out your values in real life—not just talk about them. This episode sets the foundation for what's to come and why this space matters to us. If you resonate with this conversation, we'd love for you to leave a review, share your feedback, or reach out to us on social with questions or topics you want us to dive into. Welcome to Aligned & A Little Unhinged—we're so glad you're here. Follow us on social media Instagram:  @Casofras  @_shelbyedgar Tiktok:  @Casofras @shelbyedgar_