Basic Snitches

Timed Turner: If Wizards Had TV what kinds of shows would they watch?Spend 40(ish) minutes with us as we discuss what shows wizards would watch and what wizards would think about the things that we watch. We also come up with some really fun shows that wizards would have if they had TV.

For this character episode we dive into our favorite (terrible) spoiled little bully - Draco Malfoy. He's a pain in the ass, he's a whiney little bitch, he's suuuuper flawed...but he's way better than his dad (obviously).

BRACKET TIMEEEEEThis time it's best of Potions! As always, we have no standards for how we choose winners but hey, our podcast, our rules.

Well friends, we did it. We read HP fanfiction. On purpose. And it was... something 😬But also read Cauterize by Lady Altair https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4152700/1/Cauterize

Quizzes from the Patreon archives...featuring all kinds of side quests (aka: talking about off topic stuff)

It's time for another GAME EPISODE 📣For this episode we MASHed more of our favorite special guests and things get weird (not that that is anything unusual 🤷‍♀️)

Time for a Timed Tuner!!!This week, the wheel decided that we would talk about the Harry Potter amusement parks! Tara shares her experience at Universal Studios in Florida and the conversation moves to the amusement parks we have here in Ohio. It's a fun one that just makes us wish we could afford to travel more 😂

In this character episode, Adam and Tara attempt to put together an accurate timeline of Voldy's life...it goes as well as expected.

It's time for our first bracket of season 9! In this episode, we discuss all of the characters that should have been in the movies and how important they each are.. And of course, because this is a bracket episode, we have to pick a winner.. who's it gonna be?

What is even happening???!?!?!!?Unlike our happy little recap of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Crimes of Grindelwald is a rough watch for us. Kudos to the fantastic actors and the cinematography...and to the zouwu (and all the ways we mispronounce it).Anyway, enjoy the longest recap ever on Basic Snitches... and the confusion...so. much. confused

Welcome to Basic Snitches, season 9! And happy holidays, Linda!We're kicking off the season with a holiday game episode! Adam and Tara are playing classic Snitches games and getting into the holiday spirit!Enjoy some classic BS games and welcome to season 9!!!

Here it is, folks...the final episode of season 8....all the missing pieces you didn't know you needed.... Are these outtakes ooky and spooky? Maybe. You'll just have to listen 😉Oh, and we'll be back with SEASON 9 before you can miss us too much 😉

Next time you watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, play the CORRECT dialogue with this episode 😁Thank you to Peggy, Victoria, Jean and Dan for joining us!

In this Timed Turner episode, Adam and Tara turn a bit nostalgic as they identify what objects they would be turning into horcruxes in order to live forever.... 😈

It's time for our character deep dive on Ronald Weasley!!!Ron...kinda sucks sometimes...but also, we are all a little bit Ron and maybe we should remember that these are children... 🤷‍♀️Oh, and we love Rupert Grint. Obviously 😁Apologies for the delay on this one! We'll be back in 2 weeks with more Snitches shinanigans ❤️❤️

It's spa day with the Basic Snitches! Just kidding! Adam just needs to be comfortable after being subjected to spending too much time with Tara 🤷‍♀️Time for a Bracket episode! Spells for battle!🪄Sorry Harry, your favorite spell ain't gonna cut it this time 😂

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, part 2 -Adam and Tara revisit the second half of their NYC Cursed Child experience. Scorpius is still a cinnamon roll, pink bitch still needs to die, and Hermione is badass in EVERY timeline.Meanwhile, Harry and Draco bond over being bad dads, Snape still sucks, Ron and Hermione have FOMO and the villain of this play is really terrible.Look out for Professor McGonagall'a upcoming memoir: Haven't I Had Enough? (The answer is yes. Yes she has. Let the poor woman run her school in peace!)

BONUS EPISODE time!In the final episode of this chapter, we share snippets from our Patreon Archive and give you EVEN MORE SARAH, as well as Roxana, Brian, Victoria and Dan (some of our favorite Snitches, of course). We play Guess Who and Wrong Answers Only and Tara tells everyone she's bad at things.Enjoy, Snitches!!!

It's time for a spelling bee! Roxana, Sarah and our voice to text friend face off to become the champion! Hosted by Adam and Tara, this is a spelling bee unlike any other... Also, them Ravenclaws are good spellers 😉

This has turned into nearly an entire chapter focused on Ravenclaws! Though unintentional, we are we not not mad about it! Sarah is here again to be the Tara translator - This Timed Turner episode focuses on Ravenclaws in the series.. particularly the ones that we like, but we definitely discuss the assholes 🤷‍♀️

For our character study on Hermione, Sarah is here!(Tara has laryngitis but is here too!)After a roast of our silent co-host, we jump into our deep dive on the woman who kept two stupid boys alive for 7 years.

Bracket Timeeeeee!!!!As this chapter turns towards being Ravenclaw coded (please stay tuned... 😂), we talk about BOOKS!!!Adam put together a bracket of 16 books from the series and we crown one classic as the winner 🏆 But don't worry, even though there is only one winner, we keep all the books in our Snitch Library 😁😁

We're finally here. Cursed Child (part 1). Revising our 2019 trip to NYC where we saw the play on Broadway, we discuss the good and the bad. Part one is a tough one for Harry, but we love Ginny, we're rooting for Scorpius, and we're still confused as fuck about the trolley witch.

Happy bonus episode, Snitches!Here we share some of our favorite Screen Rant discussions (disagreements) previously shared on Patreon! Some (most) of these lists are terrible but every now and again, someone gets something right 🤷‍♀️

Apparently everyone is Brian and Sarah today (and naked...and Tara hasn't been invented)...Anyway, if you haven't had enough chaos in your life, here's the missing piece...Basic Snitches Improv Night!!!

On this Timed Turner episode, we discuss all the Harry Potter spin-offs that we would watch...we start off pretty standard suggesting the need for a series about McGonagall and the Marauders and the founders of Hogwarts... Then, as you would expect, it gets weird (though not as weird as it could be, considering who we are...)

In this week's Character episode, we discuss the classiest of witches, Professor Minerva "McG" McGonagall ❤️We basically spend the episode talking about how amazing McG is, focusing on all the badass stuff she does and how incredibly important she is to Harry's story. Also, Hogwarts literally would have completely fallen apart when Dumble was headmaster without McG there!

Time for another bracket episode!!!This time we break down the best magical treats! 😁 What is the most superior magical treat???Hint: it's NOT Every Flavor Beans 🤮Also we don't know what half of these are so we just make up a bunch of stuff 🤷‍♀️

In this fandom episode, Adam and Tara discuss wild HP theories...some of which we have decided are now canon...ish.Also, in case you didn't know, Snape reads Nora Roberts

It's time for SNITCH GAME!Hosted by Victoria, and featuring Neci as the contestant on her Basic Snitches debut episode!Will Neci match with any of our panel? Listen and see just how well a potions master, a French headmistress, a disgraced politician, a fraudulent author and the ghost of a horny teenager match up with her!

Time for a TIMED TURNERRRRRRRRY'all, this one is off the rails...so enjoy this whole episode about potatoes!!!

We love Hagrid. He is our innocent little (giant) cinnamon roll.Seriously, he is the BEST.

Happy Christmas!!! You know what this is!!!! Time to enjoy the correct version of book 7 😉

It's time for another bracket episode! In this episode we pick the best spell for every day use. We also learn that it's a good thing Tara isn't actually a wizard because she would steal all the pies. She would not, however, steal any dildos.

This is possibly the longest episode in Basic Snitches history that is ONLY Adam and Tara....so buckle in for 2 hours of us reviewing every deleted scene from all 8 Harry Potter movies. We determine which scenes should not have been cut, and which ones we are glad weren't in the movies...also, Fiona Shaw is a treasure.Want to watch the scenes we are watching? Here's the playlist we had on while we recorded!

Best of Patreon archives-MASHThe complete MASH fates of Adam, Tara, Jean, and Peggy

It's Basic Snitches Game Night!!!We bring in a few of our favorite Snitches to play a few of our favorite games.Buckle in - we are loud* and we are fun and we are hilarious.❤️ Thank you to our special guests - Ashley, Sarah, Brian and Roxana *No, seriously, we are LOUD - don't say you weren't warned...

Welcome to our first Timed-Turner episode! Stealing the idea of "Podvilla" from Podcast in Death, we pulled out a random topic and talked about it for 25 minutes!If you were one of our wonderful Qwen patrons previously, you know that we have been doing these for some time now - and we love nothing more than to not have to prepare a single bit before recording 🤣So what did the wheel dictate we discuss? Arthur Weasley working in a Muggle office! We had such a great time imagining Arthur in the office spaces that we are familiar with and we have decided that he would be absolutely amazing ❤️

This is a character study on Harry Potter. Have you heard of him? Is every character episode really just about Hagrid? You decide.You could say that this whole podcast has been dedicated to a character study of Harry James Potter - but this conversation was a fun overview of Harry's journey and how much we have enjoyed his growth over the last 5 years and 7 books of podcasting ❤️⚡🪄

Welcome to our second bracket episode!!!! This time it's a showdown between all our favorite Basic Snitches nicknames that we have given the characters! Featuring a surprise guest appearance by Ashley, so if we're too annoying for you, stick around for that Qwen 😁While the winner of the bracket isn't someone we love, the nickname is CLASSIC because we are hilarious 😉

WELCOME TO SEASON 8, SNITCHES! And - Happy Back to Hogwarts Day!!!Because we read so many books we rewarded ourselves with a movie 😁 Here is a long-winded and praise-filled recount of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them to start off the season! Enjoy!And welcome back, Snitches ❤️❤️Don't forget that we have changed the cadence of episodes to every other week, so our next episode will be headed your way the week of September 15th on Wednesday!

We ain't goin' NOWHERE, Snitches!!! :D

Just more fuck-ups...basically what we do best.

The house is once again filled with Slytherins and it's time to talk about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- Parts 1 and 2. Though Adam and Tara have spent the last year ripping apart these films, Jean and Peggy are much nicer. In the second longest Basic Snitches episode in history we spend nearly 2 hours with two of our favorites walking through the movies and talking about how much we love Dobby and Hedwig.

Deep dive on DUMBLE! Featuring Dan and Victoria Hunsicker - We discuss the good and bad of Dumble, talk about dicks, and ask important questions.

WE READ SEVEN WHOLE BOOKS!!! This is a long one, Snitches... This is not only the wrap up for book 7, we also discuss the points Adam has been keeping for the past seven seasons as well as some thoughts about wrapping up the series.Guess who wins the house cup??? 😁Don't worry, we still have a handful of episodes left for you this season... and we refuse to stop just yet, so you're getting a season 8 🍾

Chapter 36: The Flaw in the Plan - OMG the LAST CHAPTER OF THE SERIES!!!Basically, Harry wins. So do we. Basic Snitches win.Bye Cocaine Babyyyyyy!!! 🎉

Chapter 35: King's Cross -Apparently you CAN fuck at King's Cross because Voldy is about to be SO fucked 🤣

Chapter 34: The Forest Again - Harry takes a little stroll, passes a torch, reunites with family, and has a nice little make out session with cocaine baby.

Chapter 33: The Prince's Tale - This is apparently where we are supposed to stop hating Snape for being a piece of shit. Don't worry. We don't.