boy meets therapy

What is code-switching, and how does it affect your mental health?In this solo episode, host Dustin explores the psychology of code-switching, the process of adjusting your behavior, personality, or identity depending on your environment. Using research from Minority Stress Theory and studies on identity and authenticity, we break down why people code-switch and how it can lead to stress, burnout, and a fragmented sense of self.We also discuss how code-switching shows up in LGBTQ spaces, including the pressure to perform masculinity and fit into social hierarchies within the gay community.If you’ve ever felt like a different version of yourself in different rooms, this episode will help you understand why and what it might be costing you.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Work with Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this conversation, therapist Sean Hershey explores the complex relationship between emotional, psychological, and physical aspects of chronic pain. Discover how repressed emotions and self-connection play a crucial role in healing and how mind-body approaches can transform understanding and treatment.Connect with Sean Hershey, LCSW:Instagram: @my_gay_therapistWebsite: www.mindbodymedicineforchronicpain.comSean's Podcast: Mindbody Medicine for Chronic PainConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Work with Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin OliverKeywords:chronic pain, mind-body medicine, emotional health, psychological healing, somatic therapy, pain management, emotional repression, self-awareness, holistic health, mental health

Why is femininity often devalued among gay men and where do those preferences actually come from?In this episode, host Dustin breaks down the psychology of masculinity, femininity, and attraction using a clinical lens. Moving beyond surface-level “preference” debates, this conversation explores how gender expression, early social experiences, and cultural reinforcement shape what we’re drawn to and how we see ourselves.This episode is about understanding where our preferences come from and what they may be doing beneath the surface.*Research sources are posted to the boy meets therapy blog pageConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Work with Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In Part 3 of this series, we focus on what it actually looks like to start shifting the patterns many LGBTQ people carry after growing up in environments where identity and belonging were in conflict. From self-monitoring and difficulty trusting yourself to complicated relationships with desire and discomfort, this episode breaks down how change happens in a way that’s realistic and grounded.We cover key shifts like moving out of constant self-evaluation, rebuilding trust in your own instincts, reinterpreting discomfort, and understanding your relationship to desire without judgment. We also explore deconstruction as a process of reclaiming internal authority, and the role of grief in acknowledging what wasn’t there.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Work with Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Religious trauma doesn’t always show up in obvious ways.In Part 2 of this series, host and therapist Dustin speaks on how we move beyond definitions and patterns and focus on what religious trauma actually feels like. These are the experiences that often go unnamed but shape how you think, relate, and move through the world.For many LGBTQ people, it’s not just what you believe, it’s how you experience yourself day to day. A constant sense of being slightly off. Monitoring yourself in conversations. Questioning your instincts. Feeling disconnected from your body. Or noticing that desire and intimacy feel more complicated than they should.*This episode is safe for those still connected to their faith.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Work with Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Religious trauma doesn’t always end when you leave religion or come out. For many LGBTQ people, the patterns formed early on continue to shape how you think, feel, and relate to others.In Part 1 of this 3-part series, Dustin breaks down the hidden psychological patterns of religious trauma in the LGBTQ community. From chronic shame and hypervigilance to perfectionism, emotional disconnection, and feeling like you’re always “not enough,” this episode explores why these patterns develop and how they persist long after coming out.If you’ve ever felt like something is still off, even after accepting your identity, this episode can help you understand what those patterns are. *This episode is safe for those still connected to their faith.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Work with Me: ⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this conversation, Dustin and Speech-Language Pathologist Nicole Gress discuss the intricate relationship between voice, identity, and the experiences of trans individuals. They explore the challenges of voice dysphoria, the journey of transitioning one's voice, and the importance of community support. Nicole shares insights from her work with Undead Voice, a platform dedicated to helping individuals find their vocal identity and experience "vocal euphoria." The discussion highlights the psychological impact of voice on mental health and the resources available for those seeking to align their voice with their identity.Connect with Nicole Gress:Instagram: @undead.voiceTikTok: @undead.voiceWebsite with Free Resources: www.undeadvoice.comConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Work with Me: ⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Many gay men reach adulthood feeling like life is just beginning while everyone else seems years ahead. Dating, identity exploration, sexuality, and community may all start later, creating the feeling that you're somehow “behind.”Psychologists sometimes describe this experience as a second adolescence.In this episode, Dustin explores the psychology behind why many gay men go through a second developmental stage after coming out. Drawing on research in LGBTQ identity development, minority stress, and belonging, he explains why this period can feel both exhilarating and chaotic. From intense friendships to unstable dating experiences and the pressure to “make up for lost time,” this episode examines why these patterns exist and what they actually mean.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Work with Me: ⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Many gay men carry a quiet fear that they are behind in life. Behind in relationships, confidence, career, or emotional maturity. It can feel like everyone else got a head start while you are still figuring things out.In this episode, we explore why that feeling is so common and why it does not mean you have failed. Growing up gay often changes the timeline of development. When identity, dating, and belonging are delayed by stigma or concealment, those experiences do not disappear. They happen later.We talk about second adolescence, minority stress, social comparison, and the pressure to catch up, along with how to move forward without urgency or shame.You are not behind. You started under different conditions.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Work with Me: www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-meCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, I sit down with therapist and friend Jordan Schatz to explore ADHD across the lifespan, from childhood to adulthood. We talk about what ADHD actually is, why so many people are diagnosed later in life, and how challenges like time blindness, executive functioning difficulties, and emotional overwhelm show up in everyday life.We also discuss relationships, self-esteem, parenting, and the experience of feeling behind or different from others. We touch on how ADHD can intersect with identity and masking, and what self-acceptance can look like for neurodivergent people.And yes, there’s a little bit of chaos and kiki too.Whether you have ADHD, love someone who does, or are trying to better understand your brain, this conversation offers insight, validation, and practical takeaways.Connect with Jordan Schatz:Instagram: @theadhdguru_TikTok: @theadhdguruAll Links: Click HereConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

What does it really mean to reinvent yourself?For many LGBTQ+ people, the desire to start over can feel urgent. A new version of you. A new identity. A life that finally feels safer or more authentic. But psychologically, reinvention is rarely just about change. It is often about repair.In this episode, we explore the psychology of queer reinvention and the emotional forces that drive the need to become someone new. We talk about why reinvention often follows rejection or identity disruption, why LGBTQ+ people may feel a stronger pull toward starting over, and how to tell the difference between growth that expands your life and change that quietly becomes avoidance.If you have ever felt like you needed to become someone different in order to be accepted, this episode will help you understand why.Reinvention is not about erasing who you were. It is about integrating what you were never allowed to become.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In Part 1, we explored why gay spaces can sometimes feel cold, competitive, or quietly unkind and how conditional belonging can shape gay male social culture.In this follow-up episode, we shifts the focus from culture to skills. This conversation is about how to stay emotionally open, grounded, and self-respecting in gay social environments that are not always designed for emotional safety or relational depth.Drawing from attachment theory, emotion regulation research, and clinical work, this episode offers practical tools for building secure connection without overexposing yourself, confusing boundaries with emotional shutdown, or internalizing social rejection.You will learn how to recognize real reciprocity early, disengage without becoming cold, reduce over-personalization after subtle social rejection, and create healthier connection outside high-evaluation spaces such as nightlife and dating apps.This episode is for gay men who want deeper friendships and relationships, but do not want repeated social hurt to turn into emotional distance or cynicism.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Why do gay spaces sometimes feel cold, competitive, or quietly unkind?In this season three premiere and solo episode, host Dustin explores what people mean when they talk about “mean gays” and why unkindness can become normalized in gay social spaces. Rather than framing this as a character flaw or a community failure, this episode looks at the psychological and social forces that shape these interactions.Drawing from research on minority stress, shame, social comparison, and attachment, this episode examines how conditional belonging, appearance-based status, and fear of rejection can turn connection into competition. It also explores how many of us participate in these dynamics without realizing it, and what it looks like to recognize when emotional distance is being used as protection.You will also learn how to respond when you are on the receiving end of subtle social cruelty, including how to avoid internalizing rejection, set boundaries without becoming cold, and seek spaces where reciprocity actually exists.This episode is for anyone who has ever felt invisible in gay spaces, questioned their worth after social rejection, or wondered why belonging sometimes feels earned instead of given.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Going home for the holidays can bring up more than nostalgia for many gay people. It can activate old family roles, unspoken rules, emotional triggers, and versions of yourself you thought you outgrew.In this episode, Dustin explores why returning to your hometown can feel so emotionally complex. From family systems that never updated, to subtle invalidations, to the tension between who you are now and who you had to be growing up, this conversation breaks down what is actually happening beneath the surface.You’ll hear a psychological look at why going home can trigger anxiety, people pleasing, or emotional regression, how family dynamics shape what feels safe to share, and why holidays can intensify loneliness or comparison. We also talk about navigating boundaries, coping in real time, and finding grounding when home no longer feels like the place you belong.Whether you are heading home for the holidays, thinking about it, or choosing not to go at all, this episode offers language, insight, and reassurance for navigating family, identity, and emotional safety with more clarity.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: There is a blog post written about every episode that summarizes key points of episodes for easy referral and understanding of the topics discussed. Blog: ⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin breaks down why overthinking happens, what part of the brain drives it, and how attachment patterns, trauma histories, and emotional avoidance shape the habit. You will learn why your mind replays conversations, predicts worst case scenarios, and struggles with uncertainty even when nothing is actually wrong.This conversation blends clinical research on rumination, worry, and the default mode network with practical guidance for shifting the patterns that keep you stuck. You will hear tools for breaking mental loops, strengthening self trust, and identifying the emotions beneath your spirals so you can respond with clarity instead of fear.(Also, Dustin reveals his Spotify Wrapped and....it's exactly what you would think)Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: There is a blog post written about every episode that summarizes key points of episodes for easy referral and understanding of the topics discussed. Blog: ⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In the final part of this series, we explore what unhealthy relationships actually look like for LGBTQ+ people and why so many harmful patterns feel familiar instead of alarming. This episode breaks down confusion between passion and chaos, the struggle to maintain desire, and the ways inconsistency, criticism, power imbalances, and identity-related harm show up in queer dating. We also look at why passion is hard to sustain, why the nervous system mistakes anxiety for attraction, and how to recognize when a dynamic is undermining your emotional safety. This conversation offers clarity, language, and guidance for identifying unhealthy patterns so you can move toward relationships that feel stable, respectful, and supportive of your whole identity.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In Part 2 of this series on queer relationships, we explore how LGBTQ+ people can begin relating differently after years of dating in environments shaped by shame, scarcity, and minority stress. This episode focuses on practical skills for connection, including attachment awareness, emotional literacy, relational repair, communication about identity, and the role of community support. We look at how hyper-independence forms, why many queer adults feel behind in dating, and how to build trust, safety, and clarity in real time. This conversation offers guidance for creating healthier relationships and more grounded connection while honoring the unique experiences of LGBTQ+ peopleFollow and rate us to see more boy meets therapy, it really helps the show!Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Why does finding and keeping love feel so complicated for so many LGBTQ+ people? In this episode, we explore the emotional and cultural forces that shape queer dating, from minority stress and loneliness to shame, scarcity, and community pressures around desirability. This is not about blaming ourselves but about understanding the systems and experiences that shaped how we learned to love, protect ourselves, and connect. Part 1 sets the foundation for a deeper look at queer relationships and why love often feels harder than it should.Follow and rate us to see more boy meets therapy, it really helps the show!Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with Eric Batchelder, LMSW to explore intimate partner and domestic violence within LGBTQ+ relationships. We unpack how power, shame, and cultural expectations shape the dynamics of harm and healing. The conversation examines many forms of spousal abuse, including emotional, financial, psychological, and physical, and how they can manifest in Queer relationships. We discuss the emotional and psychological complexities of queer relationships, the barriers survivors face, and what safety and recovery can look like through self-awareness and support.LGBT Power and Control Wheel: Click HereEquality Wheel: Click HereConnect with Eric Batchelder, LMSW:LinkedIn: Link HereConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.comCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Why do we love to be scared? In this Halloween special, Dustin explores the psychology of fear and what it reveals about us. From the thrill of horror movies to the mystery of possession, from the unease of the uncanny to the allure of cults, this episode unpacks how fear shapes our behavior, our beliefs, and our need for control. Drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and film, it examines why the things that terrify us are often the same things that fascinate us, and how fear can sometimes teach us what we value most.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

TRAILER for the boy meets therapy podcastHosted by Dustin Oliver, MA, boy meets therapy blends clinical research with real conversations about vulnerability, relationships, friendship, identity, and culture with an emphasis on the LGBTQ+ community. Episodes feature solo insights and in-depth interviews with licensed professionals who share both their expertise and their humanity. Perfect for queer listeners, allies, and mental health aficionados seeking affirming, research-informed discussions about therapy and life.

Why do we keep accepting less than we need and calling it love?In this solo episode, host Dustin explores the psychology of emotional starvation: the pattern of confusing scarcity with care. Through the lenses of attachment theory, intermittent reinforcement, and trauma research, he unpacks how early experiences of inconsistent affection can shape what we tolerate in adulthood.Dustin explains why the nervous system learns to find comfort in unpredictability, how emotional neglect rewires our sense of worth, and what it takes to rebuild trust in consistent love.If you have ever wondered why the bare minimum feels like enough, or why stability can feel unfamiliar, this episode offers reflection, compassion, and a path back to emotional nourishment.Listen to learn how to stop mistaking crumbs for care and start recognizing what real connection feels like.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Why do so many of us struggle to know what we actually want? Why do we think we're doing something we like but it doesn't feel right?In this solo episode, host Dustin explores how our desires are shaped by early experiences, social expectations, and the need for safety. Drawing from Self Determination Theory, Object Relations and Attachment Theory, and Cass’s Queer Identity Formation model, this episode unpacks the psychology behind why our motivations can feel confusing and how to move from conditioned wanting to authentic choice.Dustin breaks down the difference between external validation and inner alignment, explores how childhood attachment patterns influence adult desire, and reflects on the lifelong process of learning to trust what feels real.If you’ve ever wondered whether your goals, relationships, or ambitions reflect who you are or who you were taught to be, this episode will help you start listening inward with curiosity, compassion, and autonomy.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with UK therapist John Gillespie to explore the deep intersection between kink, sexuality, and mental health. Together they unpack how shame, desire, and identity shape our sexual experiences and what it means to find acceptance through therapy. John shares insights from both his clinical practice and personal experiences within kink communities, offering a rare and honest look at emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and liberation through understanding one’s desires.Listeners will learn how therapists can create affirming spaces for clients exploring kink, why shame and secrecy often intertwine with sexual identity, and how healing begins when we integrate these parts of ourselves.Connect with John Gillespie:Website: Link HereJohn's Book (Amazon): Link HereConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Tyler Mafi to explore the queer search for meaning through the lens of existentialism. They unpack how identity, dating, and authenticity are shaped by societal expectations and how questioning those norms can open the door to deeper purpose and meaning-making. The conversation highlights why existentialism matters in everyday life, how queer identity and authenticity intersect, the pressures of dating and relationships, and what therapy can offer in navigating meaning and purpose. Whether you are curious about existential philosophy, reflecting on your love life, or searching for more authenticity, this episode offers both practical takeaways and profound reflection. I would ask yourself, "What do I want things to mean?"Connect with Tyler Mafi:Tyler's Website: Link HereConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.comCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with Sam Fogarty, LMHC, to explore the pressures gay men face when it comes to body image and the pursuit of the “ideal body.” Together, they unpack how rejection, fat phobia, and societal standards fuel shame and disordered eating within the LGBTQ+ community. Sam shares insights from his research on muscularity-oriented eating disorders and why intuitive eating can help create a healthier relationship with food and self-perception.Dustin and Sam emphasize the importance of self-compassion, breaking cycles of comparison, and building a more affirming perspective around body image.Whether you’ve struggled with body dissatisfaction, questioned how rejection impacts your self-worth, or want to better understand the unique challenges queer men face, this episode offers research-based insights and practical discussion. Connect with Sam Fogarty, LMHCTherapy Practice: Link HerePsychologyToday: Link HereSam's Research: Link HereConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode Guide & Chapters00:00 Introduction and Connection04:01 Body Image in the Gay Community06:07 Research on Body Ideals07:52 Understanding Eating Disorders11:09 Muscularity-Oriented Disordered Eating15:03 Emotional Needs and Eating Disorders17:55 Personal Experiences with Body Image21:17 Fat Phobia and Its Impact23:48 Reactions to Weight Loss and Acceptance27:55 Internalized Fat Phobia31:03 Challenging Body Image Norms33:23 Exploring Values and Self-Perception36:32 The Impact of Rejection on Queer Identity39:29 Intuitive Eating and Movement40:34 Attraction and Body Image in Queer Relationships48:26 Healthy Relationships with Body and Self48:55 Final Thoughts and Memorable QuotesCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. A. Jordan Wright, Director of the combined Counseling and Clinical Psychology PhD program at NYU and a leading voice in psychological testing and training future clinicians. Together, we explore how microaggressions, evolving diagnoses, and cultural competence shape queer mental health care today.Listeners will learn how subtle microaggressions affect therapy, why diagnoses like ADHD and autism are both social constructs and powerful tools, and how cultural competence helps clinicians provide truly inclusive treatment. Dr. Wright also shares his perspective on training the next generation of therapists, making assessments more inclusive for queer clients, and using privilege to advocate for marginalized communities.This conversation offers both practical takeaways and big-picture insight into what it means to “queer” mental health and build therapy that sees the whole person.The Wright-Constantine Structured Cultural Interview: Link (full copy and paste link at bottom)Tell me on Instagram or in the comments what you thought of the assessmentDr. Wright's Faculty Profile (and publications):Link hereConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver*Full copy and past like for the WCSCI: https://steinhardt.nyu.edu/sites/default/files/2023-08/WCSCI%20FINAL-2023.pdf

This episode explores how substance use shows up in the lives of gay and queer men through history, culture, and community.I explore the complex and often misunderstood relationship between gay men and substance use. Too often framed with stigma or silence, this topic deserves a conversation rooted in history, culture, and compassion.I’ll take you through the role bars played as safe havens, the impact of the AIDS crisis, and the emergence of chemsex and methamphetamine in gay culture. We’ll also look at how pleasure, coping, stigma, and intergenerational differences shape substance use today.This episode isn’t about prescribing one solution, whether sobriety, harm reduction, or responsible recreational use. Instead, it’s about opening up dialogue, reducing shame, and imagining new ways to support dignity, choice, and connection in our community.Resources:SAMHSA Hotline (24/7, US): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)Crisis Line (US): Call or text 988boymeetstherapy resources: click hereConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠

In this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver sits down with dating coach Danny to explore the unique challenges queer men face in dating. From breaking cycles of self-sabotage to navigating monogamy vs. non-monogamy, they dive into how generational trauma and cultural history shape modern relationships.Connect with DannyInstagram: @thecoachdannymTikTok: @coachdannymoralesWebsite: www.thecoachdanny.comPodcast: THE DEEP PENETRATION PodcastConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠Episode Guide & Chapters0:00 - 2:00 Introduction 2:01 - 5:30 Meet Danny: The Dating Coach 5:31 - 15:00 Understanding Self-Sabotage 15:01 - 25:00 Monogamy vs. Non-Monogamy 25:01 - 35:00 Generational Impact on Dating 35:01 - 45:00 Building Confidence and Authenticity 45:01 - 50:00 Rapid Fire Questions with Danny 50:01 - End Closing Thoughts and Takeaways Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Why is it so hard for gay men to open up emotionally, especially with each other? In this solo episode, Dustin explores the vulnerability deficit that many gay men experience and how emotional suppression shows up in friendships, dating, and queer community life. Blending clinical research with real-life examples, this episode unpacks the psychological roots of emotional avoidance, the influence of masculinity and shame, and how curated social connection can mask deep disconnection. You'll hear about the common ways gay men protect themselves from being seen, why these patterns make sense in a world shaped by rejection, and how we can start to build relationships rooted in emotional honesty. Whether you have struggled to express your needs, avoided conflict, or felt unseen in your closest relationships, this conversation offers insight, compassion, and a path forward.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠Episode Guide & Chapters00:00 Introduction 03:06 Shifting Focus to Queer Men's Issues05:58 Exploring Vulnerability in Gay Men09:07 Understanding Vulnerability and Safety10:59 The Impact of Minority Stress on Emotional Expression11:24 Understanding Emotional Armor in Gay Men17:17 The Cost of Avoiding Vulnerability23:30 Toxic Masculinity and Its Impact29:26 Micro Vulnerability: A Path to Connection35:33 The Importance of Being Seen and VulnerableCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Why is it so hard for gay men to make close friends? In this episode, host Dustin explores the friendship crisis many queer men face and offers practical, research-backed strategies to build deeper, more meaningful connections.Learn the difference between romantic and friendship attraction, how emotional safety shapes queer friendships, and why vulnerability is key to connection. Dustin also shares actionable tips for overcoming defensiveness, initiating low-pressure social rituals, and building community beyond dating and hookup culture.Whether you’re feeling lonely, craving real friendships, or simply trying to understand why queer connection can feel so complicated, this episode offers clarity, validation, and hope.Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠Episode Guide & Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Topic03:18 Understanding Queer Loneliness11:43 The Importance of Queer Friendships18:23 Navigating Vulnerability in Queer Friendships18:35 Navigating Attraction and Friendship Among Gay Men21:26 Understanding Vulnerability in Queer Friendships24:13 Tools for Building Connections27:23 Creating Consistent Rituals for Friendship30:14 Practicing Patience and Grace in Friendships33:09 The Importance of Authenticity and VulnerabilityCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode of boy meets therapy, Dr. Luke Wilson shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, from enrolling at Liberty University to facing the emotional and psychological toll of trying to change his identity. Dr. Wilson opens up about the deep shame, religious pressure, and inner conflict he experienced, and how he ultimately found healing and self-acceptance. This honest conversation explores the dangers of conversion practices, the intersection of faith and sexuality, and the resilience it takes to reclaim your truth. Whether you are a survivor, an ally, or seeking to understand, this episode offers insight, compassion, and hope.Dr. Wilson's book of conversion therapy survivors' stories Shame-Sex Attraction is available for pre-order now. Connect with Luke Wilson, PhD:Instagram: @lukeslamdunkwilsonAcademic Papers: utschools.academia.edu/LucasWilsonPre-order Shame-Sex Attraction (USA): link hereConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠Episode Guide & Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Academic Credentials03:06 Exploring Identity and Sexuality06:00 Liberty University: A Conservative Christian Institution08:47 The Journey into Evangelicalism12:07 Conversion Therapy: Understanding the Context14:52 Personal Experiences with Conversion Therapy17:41 Navigating Queerness in a Conservative Environment26:06 The Journey into Conversion Therapy32:26 The Impact of Conversion Therapy on Identity43:48 Shame and Its Role in Conversion Therapy48:37 Reflections on Personal Growth and ProjectionCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver is joined by therapist Liz Rhea for an honest and deeply moving conversation about religious trauma and queer identity. Together, they unpack how adverse religious experiences can shape self-worth, relationships, and mental health, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. Liz shares her clinical insights on the effects of sermons and church environments, while exploring the power of deconstruction, inner child work, and grief processing in healing. This episode offers both personal and therapeutic perspectives on what it means to navigate religious trauma and find safety, self-acceptance, and liberation in therapy.Whether you're deconstructing your faith, supporting a loved one, or working through your own trauma, this conversation is a must-listen.Connect with Liz Rhea:Instagram: ⁠@lizrheatherapy⁠Website: ⁠www.lizrheatherapy.com⁠Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠Episode Guide & Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Background03:09 Understanding Religious Trauma06:13 The Impact of Environment on Trauma09:07 Experiences of Religious Trauma12:08 Personal Stories and Reflections15:10 Navigating Identity and Faith17:46 Exploring Queer Identity and Community19:12 The Process of Deconstruction23:07 Reclaiming Identity and Rituals24:47 The Impact of Religious Trauma28:04 Understanding Sin and Identity31:39 Creating Safe Spaces in Therapy36:02 Inner Child Work for Queer Individuals37:12 The Framework of Grief in HealingCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this powerful episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Natalie Reina to explore the deep and lasting effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the transformative power of somatic therapy in trauma recovery. Together, they unpack how childhood trauma shapes adult mental health, why recognizing patterns from abusive relationships is so difficult, and how grounding techniques and body-based therapies help clients reconnect with safety and self-awareness.Whether you're a mental health professional, trauma survivor, or simply curious about holistic approaches to healing, this conversation offers valuable insight into how integrating mind and body can lead to long-term emotional recovery. Learn how ACEs impact the nervous system, what somatic therapy actually looks like in practice, and why creating safety is the first step in any therapeutic relationship.Connect with Natalie Reina:Instagram: @reinatherapyWebsite: https://reinatherapy.com/Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters: 00:00 Exploring Personal Lore and Travel Experiences03:08 Understanding Trauma in Therapy06:12 Adverse Childhood Experiences and Their Impact08:57 The Role of Somatic Therapy11:58 How Trauma Manifests in the Body14:59 Building Trust in Therapeutic Relationships17:59 Recognizing Signs of Unresolved Trauma24:35 The Journey of Self-Discovery30:41 Connecting with the Body34:40 Blending Therapeutic Modalities40:21 Navigating Trauma and Relationships45:03 Understanding Domestic Violence48:09 Words of WisdomCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Joseph Elfar for a thought-provoking conversation on the evolving role of psychiatry in mental health care. Dr. Elfar opens up about his personal journey into psychiatry, the importance of self-disclosure in clinical work, and how social media is transforming mental health awareness.We dive deep into the realities of medication management, the influence of Big Pharma, and the cultural factors that impact psychiatric treatment. Dr. Elfar also shares insights on the value of validation and confrontation in therapy, the challenges new professionals face in the field, and why self-love and emotional insight are crucial for healing.Whether you're a mental health professional, student, or someone curious about the inner workings of psychiatry, this episode offers a raw and accessible look at the intersection of mental health, culture, and modern psychiatry.Connect with Dr. Joseph Elfar:Instagram: @josephelfar.mdTikTok: @josephelfarmdWebsite/Services: mindhealthpsychiatric.com/Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters00:00 Introduction and Background03:16 The Role of Psychiatrists in Mental Health06:09 Personal Journey into Psychiatry09:15 Navigating the Transition from Student to Professional12:14 Understanding Medication in Psychiatry15:13 The Impact of Social Media on Mental Health Awareness18:12 Diagnosis and Treatment Approaches21:08 The Art of Psychopharmacology25:34 The Impact of Social Media on Mental Health29:57 Cultural Sensitivity in Psychiatry35:11 The Balance of Validation and Confrontation in Therapy39:07 The Influence of Big Pharma on Psychiatry43:46 Understanding When to Consider Medication44:40 Challenges in Psychiatric Care48:23 Life Lessons and Quotes to Live ByCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep? Wondering if melatonin, sleep hygiene, or therapy actually work? In this episode, sleep therapist Tony Ho joins us to unpack the most common sleep disorders, including insomnia and sleep apnea, and what you can do to finally get quality rest.Tony breaks down the science of sleep, the psychological blocks that keep people awake, and why trying to "control" sleep can backfire. We explore the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), the real deal with melatonin supplements, and how cultural beliefs about productivity and rest shape our sleep habits. Tony also shares his personal sleep routine and practical tools you can start using tonight.Whether you're dealing with chronic insomnia, poor sleep quality, or just want to understand your sleep better, this episode offers expert insight and actionable strategies.Connect with Tony HoInstagram: @quadrawellnessTikTok: @quadrawellnessTherapy (Canada): www.quadrawellness.com/Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters00:00 Introduction and Calming Voices01:32 Journey into Sleep Therapy04:22 Understanding Insomnia and Sleep Struggles05:22 The Importance of Predictability in Sleep06:56 Understanding Sleep Disorders09:50 Exploring Insomnia and Its Treatments12:46 Debunking Sleep Myths and Misconceptions15:51 The Role of Blue Light and Sleep Hygiene17:12 Melatonin: Benefits and Misunderstandings20:25 The Psychology of Sleep and Relaxation23:03 Rebuilding Trust with Sleep26:48 Understanding Sleep and Its Impact30:03 Cultural Influences on Sleep35:53 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia42:10 Personal Sleep Routines and InsightsCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with therapist Lauren Larkin to unpack the complex relationship between disordered eating, diet culture, and mental health. Together, they explore how societal pressures, personal history, and media influence body image and eating behaviors, especially in the age of social media and virtual therapy. Lauren shares her journey from a career in media to becoming a clinician, offering insights into how her background shapes her approach to treating eating disorders. The conversation also touches on the challenges of remote therapy, the importance of curiosity in the healing process, and how therapists can create safe, supportive environments for recovery. If you're navigating disordered eating, interested in the intersection of media and mental health, or curious about therapy in the digital era, this episode is for you.Connect with Lauren Larkin:Instagram: @leltherapyTikTok: @leltherapyWebsite: www.leltherapy.comConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters00:00 Welcome to New York: First Impressions02:07 Journey from Media to Therapy05:01 Understanding Eating Disorders vs. Disordered Eating09:00 The Impact of Diet Culture on Men12:01 The Dangers of Social Media and Body Image14:54 Treatment Approaches and Personal Experiences20:13 Integrating Recovery into Daily Life21:18 Navigating the Healing Journey24:41 Understanding Eating Disorders and Therapy28:07 The Impact of Food Noise on Mental Health31:50 Uncovering Deeper Issues in Therapy35:05 Coping Mechanisms and Client Engagement38:57 Inspiration and Personal GrowthCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, therapist and former Broadway performer Brian Spitulnik joins Dustin to explore the intersections of shame, identity, and healing within the gay and broader queer community. Together, they unpack themes like internalized homophobia, social hierarchies among gay men, and the emotional toll of self-sabotage and rejection.Brian opens up about his personal transformation, from life on the stage to becoming a clinician, and how embracing authenticity and vulnerability changed his path. The conversation delves into how race, body image, and trauma show up in therapy spaces, as well as the unique challenges queer people face in finding belonging and self-acceptance.Whether you're a therapist, LGBTQ+ person, or ally, this episode offers a compassionate, insightful look into the emotional and relational landscape of queer identity, and how therapy can support deeper connection and growth.Connect with Brian SpitulnikTikTok: @spitulnikInstagram: @spitulnikWebsite: www.brianspitulnik.com/Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters00:00 Introduction and Identity Exploration03:04 Understanding Shame in Gay Men06:02 Self-Sabotage in Relationships09:01 Social Hierarchy in Gay Culture12:11 The Role of Therapy in Building Connections14:52 Personal Journey and Professional Focus17:54 Authenticity and Defense Mechanisms29:28 The Journey to Authenticity30:46 Vulnerability and Connection33:14 The Weight of Shame35:41 Navigating Identity in Different Environments39:36 Coming Out and Acceptance41:36 Rejection in the Queer Community43:38 Therapeutic Dynamics and Race48:47 The Complexity of Conversations51:52 Lessons from TragedyCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with Karley, a therapist who specializes in treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and co-occurring substance use disorders. Together, they explore the complex relationship between emotional dysregulation, trauma, and addiction, highlighting how Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers hope and structure for individuals navigating these challenges.Karley shares her journey into the counseling field, the realities of working with high-acuity clients, and the importance of compassion and boundaries in clinical work. This conversation offers valuable insights for therapists, students, and anyone curious about the inner world of BPD, the path to recovery, and how therapy can help rebuild lives.Connect with Karley Chicknesshttps://systemstherapy.org/Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Borderline Personality Disorder03:02 Karley's Background and Journey into Counseling05:55 Early Career Experiences and Specializations08:35 Understanding Substance Use and Co-occurring Conditions11:26 The Role of Trauma in Mental Health14:17 Defining Borderline Personality Disorder17:24 Dialectical Behavior Therapy Explained20:17 The Impact of Trauma on BPD22:35 Emotional Dysregulation in BPD23:34 Understanding Emotional Intensity in BPD26:15 The Role of DBT in Treatment29:36 Modeling Secure Relationships34:25 Active Passivity and Communication Challenges35:05 Substance Use and BPD Treatment38:47 Assessing Risks and Treatment Approaches42:30 Internal Experience of BPD44:37 Challenges in Treating BPD47:15 Success Stories in BPD Recovery50:06 Reflections on Being a TherapistCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this conversation, Dustin Oliver and Sara discuss the intricacies of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), anxiety management, and borderline personality disorder (BPD). Sara shares her personal journey into therapy, the challenges and rewards of working with individuals with BPD, and the importance of understanding emotional regulation. They explore the techniques used in DBT, including distress tolerance and mindfulness, and emphasize the need for compassion and acceptance in therapeutic relationships. The discussion also highlights the misconceptions surrounding BPD and offers advice for friends and family members of those affected.Connect with Sara Weand: www.saraweandlpc.com/Connect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Therapy and Personal Journey09:37 Understanding Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)19:23 Anxiety and DBT Techniques24:45 Practical Techniques for Calming Anxiety26:59 Understanding Panic and Distress Tolerance29:26 Self-Awareness in Anxiety Management31:03 The Role of Trauma in Anxiety34:59 The Purpose of Emotions and Anxiety36:54 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)42:47 Advice for Friends and Family of BPD Individuals45:48 Hope and Recovery from BPDCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this eye-opening conversation, host Dustin Oliver speaks with Dr. Eric Van Der Voort, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, about the many misconceptions and complexities surrounding human sexuality. They explore how performance anxiety can disrupt intimacy, the importance of open communication in sexual relationships, and the ways societal norms shape, and often distort, our expectations around sex. Dr. Van Der Voort offers a non-pathologizing approach to sexual behavior, distinguishing between sexual behaviors and addiction while encouraging a more compassionate understanding of kinks, fantasies, and the obsession with orgasm. He emphasizes the need to challenge internalized shame, redefine what “good sex” really means, and foster deeper connection through vulnerability and honest conversation. Whether you’re a clinician, someone exploring your own sexuality, or simply curious, this episode offers practical insights and thoughtful reflections to support healthier, more fulfilling sexual relationships.Connect with Dr. van der Voort:TherapyWebsiteConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Personal Connection02:07 Exploring Clinical Work and Background09:00 Transition to Sex Therapy11:00 Understanding Sexuality and Addiction17:27 Societal Attitudes Towards Sex18:52 Performance Anxiety in Sexual Relationships26:25 Navigating Sexual Performance Issues31:16 The Importance of Open Communication in Sexual Relationships32:09 Understanding Performance Anxiety and Its Impact34:57 Challenging Societal Norms Around Sex38:29 Redefining What Good Sex Means42:56 The Obsession with Orgasm in Sexual Encounters46:36 Navigating Kinks and Overcoming Shame52:28 Fantasy vs. Reality in Sexual Desires54:31 Key Takeaways for Healthy Sexual PracticesCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, hosts Dustin Oliver and Ryan Austin, a licensed professional counselor, dive deep into the world of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Together, they explore how IFS helps individuals understand their inner parts, navigate emotional trauma, and reconnect with their core Self-energy for lasting healing.Ryan shares insights from his clinical work, including his experience with accountability courts, and discusses how childhood patterns, coping mechanisms, and numbing behaviors like addiction impact adult relationships and mental health.The conversation also touches on the privilege of setting boundaries, cultural views of therapy, and the critical role of trust in the therapeutic process. Whether you're a therapist, someone in therapy, or curious about how IFS can help you heal, this episode offers a thoughtful, accessible introduction to one of today’s most transformative therapeutic modalities.Connect with Ryan Austin: Ryan Austin TherapyConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Name Struggles01:49 Ryan's Journey as a Licensed Professional Counselor05:22 Understanding Accountability Court10:04 Introduction to Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy17:23 The Deeper Meaning of Therapy and Self-Care22:46 Navigating Financial Fears and Self-Validation24:32 The Impact of Cultural Perspectives on Therapy26:13 The Privilege of Setting Boundaries28:21 The Importance of Therapeutic Relationships30:29 Understanding Core Self-Energy36:05 Using IFS to Treat Trauma40:25 Patterns from Childhood and Relationship Dynamics45:28 Breaking Patterns: The Journey of Self-Discovery51:06 Numbing and Addiction: Coping Mechanisms Explored56:24 Listening to Our Parts: A Path to Self-Understanding01:00:14 The Importance of Trust in Therapy01:05:32 Sitting in the Slow: Embracing the JourneyCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with counseling graduate student Bailey McFadden to talk about the real-life journey through psychology education—from undergrad to grad school and beyond. They discuss why they both chose to pursue master’s degrees over PhDs, how to evaluate faith-integrated counseling programs, and what it’s really like working in internship settings. Bailey shares her experiences navigating clinical training, community support, and the pressure to “do it all” in grad school. Whether you're exploring mental health careers, considering a graduate degree, or already deep in your training, this candid conversation offers insight, encouragement, and practical advice.Connect with Bailey McFadden:Instagram: @genzcounselorb TikTok: @genzcounselorbConnect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: ⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠TikTok: ⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠Website with Free Resources: boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters00:00 Introduction and Background03:07 Undergraduate Experience in Psychology06:04 Transitioning to Graduate School09:01 Working in a Psychiatric Unit12:09 Advice for Aspiring Psychologists15:11 Study Abroad Experiences17:47 Choosing a Graduate Program20:51 Faith Integration in Counseling24:05 The Role of Spirituality in Therapy28:00 Navigating Faith Integration in Counseling Programs29:51 The PhD Dilemma: To Pursue or Not?35:48 Internship Insights: What to Expect43:55 Finding Support and Community in Grad SchoolCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver.

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with child and adolescent therapist Chandler Donny to explore the unique challenges and breakthroughs in therapy with young clients. They dive into topics like OCD in children, the emotional impact of divorce, and how to build trust with resistant or withdrawn kids. Chandler shares clinical insights on the importance of confidentiality, psychoeducation, and engaging parents in the therapeutic process. The conversation also touches on Relational Cultural Theory, LGBTQ-affirming care, and the role of cultural understanding in effective mental health treatment. Whether you're a therapist, parent, or mental health professional, this episode offers valuable guidance on navigating the complex world of child and teen therapy.Each week, we talk with clinicians about their areas of expertise, their connections to therapy, and how they use their tools in session. Connect with Chandler Donny:TherapyConnect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: @boymeetstherapyTikTok: @boymeetstherapyWebsite with Free Resources: boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters:00:00 Introduction and Connection01:46 Chandler's Journey into Therapy07:28 Specialization in Working with Teens09:40 Common Issues in Child Therapy10:32 Navigating Divorce and Its Impact on Children11:50 Integrating Parents in Child Therapy17:01 Confidentiality and Trust in Therapy19:57 Building Rapport with Resistant Clients23:18 Understanding Relational Cultural Theory30:40 Exploring Client Relationships and Dynamics37:41 Navigating Childhood Therapy and Accountability42:54 Understanding OCD in Children49:20 The Importance of the Therapeutic RelationshipCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver.

What if recovery wasn’t just about stopping the use of a substance — but about understanding why it was there in the first place?In this episode, I speak with Julie River, LPC, NCC, clinical director and therapist at Atlas Behavioral Health, about what truly person-centered substance use treatment can look like. We explore the daily experience of clients in recovery programs, the role of group therapy, and how therapists can support emotional sobriety, boundary-setting, and harm reduction with empathy and nuance.Whether you’re a clinician, student, or someone navigating their own healing journey, Julie brings thoughtful insight into how treatment can move beyond stereotypes — and toward connection, curiosity, and lasting change.Connect with Julie River:TherapyAtlas Behavioral HealthConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters:00:00 Introduction and Personal Background02:59 Understanding Substance Use Disorder Treatment05:51 Daily Life in Treatment Programs09:08 Innovative Therapeutic Approaches12:04 Client Reactions to Alternative Therapies14:53 Co-occurring Disorders and Their Impact17:46 The Complexity of Diagnosing Disorders20:58 Interpersonal Dynamics in Group Therapy23:53 Managing Resentments and Emotions26:53 Facilitating Group Interactions30:06 Conclusion and Key Takeaways35:45 Understanding Boundaries in Relationships40:10 The Concept of Emotional Sobriety45:05 Navigating Sober Curiosity49:49 The Spectrum of Addiction54:26 Harm Reduction in Substance Use Treatment58:24 The Misconceptions of Addiction Treatment

This episode focuses on trauma-informed therapy and working with survivors of abuse. We explore how to build trust, address denial, and apply attachment theory in clinical practice. The conversation also highlights the role of supervision, therapeutic alliances, and navigating power dynamics. Special attention is given to supporting trans and gender non-conforming clients through anti-oppressive, empathetic, and empowering approaches.Each week we talk with clinicians about their areas of expertise, their connections to therapy, and how they use their tools in session. Connect with Sakinaa Rock: Sakinaa Rock TherapyConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠TikTok: @boymeetstherapyWebsite with Free Resources: boymeetstherapy.comEpisode Guide & Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Background03:08 Theoretical Perspectives in Social Work05:58 Understanding Client Populations08:58 Building Trust and Safety in Therapy11:55 Working with Survivors of Abuse14:57 Navigating Denial and Confrontation17:59 The Role of Supervision in Therapy20:49 Attachment Theory and Its Impact23:59 Unlearning Harmful Relational Patterns31:03 Navigating Client Emotions and Healthy Responses32:03 Confronting Disagreements in Therapy32:51 The Role of Power and Oppression in Therapy33:51 Addressing Misogyny in Client Interactions36:14 Challenging Heteronormative Dynamics in Queer Relationships37:00 Exploring Power Dynamics in Kink Relationships41:02 Understanding Trans and Gender Non-Conforming Experiences49:57 The Therapist's Responsibility in Anti-Oppressive PracticeCreated and Produced by Dustin Oliver