Bras Off Confessional

Michaela is out this week, so Molly called in the most convenient backup available: the man who lives in her house and was stupid enough to legally bind his life force to hers.Manny Barella, husband, alleged father, and 5th place finisher on Top Chef Season 21 pulls up a chair for his long-awaited debut on Bras Off Confessional. The listeners have heard about him. Now he gets to speak for himself. Buckle up.In this episode: What surprised Manny most about filming Top Chef — and what you never see on screenThe hot dog sandwich debateThe Claudio throuple Body swapping 101 Manny's Four H's framework for what your partner actually needs when they come to you with a problemSupport the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Molly's back from what she's generously calling a vacation, and we are picking up right where we left off — which is to say, fully unhinged and completely unapologetic about it.Before we even get to the topic, Michaela has a new child and a lot of feelings about it. The new addition is adorable, completely unhinged, and apparently not the dog Michaela met at the adoption event. When we finally land on the actual topic — weird shit we've done for money — buckle up. Between the two of us, we've covered a lot of professional ground. Some of it impressive. Some of it deeply, deeply not. Molly walks through a career arc that can only be described as a personality disorder in resume form. Michaela has her own highlight reel, including a corporate era she'd rather forget, a spiritual era she mostly misses, and a cash-only client situation that required a lot of creative Photoshopping.And then there's the Target story. We're not going to tell you what happens. We're just going to say: Food Avenue. Hot dogs. A woman named Tara. And at least one walk-in incident that should have shut the whole operation down.In This Episode: MEET HAZEL! Molly's career in full: a personality disorder in resume formMichaela's spiritual era, her corporate era, and her most legally ambiguous clientThe Food Avenue opening procedure no one warned Molly aboutWhy Feet Finder is harder than it looksThe SpongeBob costume incidentSupport the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Welcome back to Bras Off Confessional.This week started with a toddler, a big Mexican breakfast, and a situation that required immediate intervention. It ended somewhere much more introspective than either of us planned.The topic is tics and phobias — the weird, specific, deeply personal things your brain does that you either never noticed or just assumed everyone else was doing too. Turns out: not everyone blinks in time to their turn signal. Not everyone has a word they have to write in cursive on their leg under the table. Not everyone is one barnacle cluster away from a full breakdown.The phobias are also decidedly unhinged. A listener confession involving a stuffed animal closes it out.In this episode:The tic inventory — including one that involves driving your horse. Why 37 is a truly offensive number What happens when ADD and autism are pulling in opposite directions at the same timeA ranked list of the world's most specific phobias, including one that is deeply cruel to nameLakes, cruise ships, barnacles, banana noise, and used band-aidsSupport the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Welcome back to Bras Off Confessional.The inspiration for this week's topic started with a comedian's bit about how everything women do for beauty is essentially an act of violence. It ended somewhere way deeper, and way more important. Molly's entry point into this conversation involved a beauty shortcut she found in college, a needle, and a cheerleading squad with a tanning policy. Michaela has been down a peptide rabbit hole trying to figure out what's actually legitimate and what's just Ozempic with better PR. Both of them have spent decades absorbing a beauty standard they're only now fully examining.But this conversation doesn't stay skin deep: the girls share the real numbers behind what women spend, who actually profits when the trend resets, and what it looks like when you trace the whole industry back to its marketing skeleton. They also get into what finally changed things for both of them — and it wasn't anything the beauty industry was selling.In this episode:What the average woman spends annually on beauty vs. what men spend The pink tax, the moving target, and who benefits every time the trend resetsSorority house culture, heroin chic, rice cakes at 17, and the programming that outlasts all of itWhy it's women — not men — who actually pull each other out of the beauty feedback loopThe wax appointment that ended in a workers' comp situationWaffle stomping. If you have no idea what this is, you're in good company. Support the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Welcome back to Bras Off Confessional.This week we're talking roommates — the ones you chose, the ones you inherited, and the ones who were apparently already living in your house when you signed the lease.Michaela opens in Pacific Beach at 19: a shoebox apartment, a vetted roommate, and a situation that was perfectly fine until it wasn't. What followed was a series of escalations she could not have predicted, a forced exit, and an upgrade so dramatic it felt like a different life entirely. The new place was stunning. The roommate seemed stable. And then one night, something happened that required her former lifeguard training and a working knowledge of hot tub lids.Molly's story starts with a cute bungalow, a front porch swing, and three Craigslist roommates who were actually normal. It ends with a color-coded evidence binder, a desk that got slammed, and a leasing agent who turned green. What happened in between involved a series of notes, a door that locked from the wrong side, and a woman named Linda.In this episode:Michaela's Pacific Beach era: a vetted roommate, an unexpected plus-one, and an exit she did not planThe upgrade that felt like MTV Cribs, and the night that ended itA note on the washing machine What it actually takes to flip Molly's switch all the wayA crafty, color-coded binder of evidence Support the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Welcome back to Bras Off Confessional! This week, we've got a new format. Every episode now opens with what we've been obsessing over that week...because if we have to hear about your sales pipeline, you have to hear about Josiah from TikTok and his Facebook Marketplace meal collection. It's unregulated. It's chaotic. One woman named Toya is selling hard-boiled eggs in what may or may not be dysentery. We are obsessed.Then: the millennial career crisis. Not the sanitized LinkedIn version, the real one. Molly did the research and it turns out there's a name for what we're all experiencing, and sociologists are now studying it. Shocking. She's also been laid off three times in 18 months in a field that essentially disappeared overnight. Michaela built a marketing agency from nothing and still hit a wall of burnout that money couldn't fix. There's a name for that too.BUT it's not all doom and gloom. Stick with us for a surprisingly tender detour about whimsy, reconnecting with your inner child, and why so many of us are doing diamond art and pressing leaves in 2026.We're not saying quit your job. We're saying know who you are without it.In this episode:New format intro: what we're obsessed with this week The Great Millennial Career Crisis — what it is and why sociologists are officially studying usThe hedonic treadmill and why making more money eventually stops workingWhy America is uniquely bad at letting people be human beingsWhimsy as survival strategy: side hustles, soup clubs, botanical coasters, and furniture refinishingConfessions: the conference call Google search, police hide and seek, and the truth about female masturbationPatreon members already heard this one yesterday. If you want early access to every episode plus our monthly bonus episode, join us over there! Support the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Welcome to From the Cutting Room Floor — the variety show nobody asked for and everybody needs.Here's the thing about recording a podcast: for every episode you actually hear, there are approximately forty-seven tangents that got left on the floor. Not because they weren't good. Because they were too random, too chaotic, or too unhinged to find a home anywhere else. This is where those tangents live now.From the Cutting Room Floor is usually a Patreon exclusive — today you're getting a free peek. If you like what you hear, you know where to find the rest of it.This inaugural episode covers: the aftermath of some unlabeled chocolate chip cookies from a friend's garden, Grandma Judy's Wi-Fi password, the parasocial relationship Molly has developed with the black mold in her water bottle straw, thong theft at Mervyn's, Jake's very Disney approach to dirty talk, and a Mormon housewife's genuinely airtight logic about abortion prevention.There is no throughline. That's the point.In this episode:Unlabeled garden cookies, a delayed onset, and a very bad idea to double upDon't shit where you eat: a cautionary taleGrandma Judy's Wi-Fi password Molly's water bottle, the mold, and why Manny is not allowed to drink from itStolen thongs from Mervyn's and the mom who took it straight to abstinenceThe Mormon housewife theory of abortion prevention that actually holds upJake's dirty talk, a prank bowl cut, and "the most wonderful things"From the Cutting Room Floor drops regularly on Patreon. Subscribe for more of the chaos that doesn't make the main feed.Support the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Welcome back to Bras Off Confessional — where Molly and Michaela work through their issues so you don't have to work through yours.This week: teeth. Specifically the trauma, the horror, and the deeply unfortunate situations that arise when your mouth decides to betray you at the absolute worst possible moment.Michaela has had more root canals than she'd like to count, a crown that did not survive contact with a pink Starburst, and a boyfriend who went into work late to find her tooth in the bedsheets. She was one month in. He passed the test.Molly had oral surgery in college that her dentist botched so badly she spent months draining her own jaw with a syringe in a sorority house bathroom before nearly going septic on a two-hour drive home. She called five times. They told her it was fine. It was not fine. Enter: Rebecca Murphy with the full-on BDE. And then there's the Clacker: A Tinder date. A PhD. Mississippi. Four front teeth that were not doing the one thing teeth should always do. In this episode:Michaela's midnight Starburst crown incident and the man who found her toothMolly's wisdom tooth saga: the infection, the gaslighting, and Rebecca MurphySix feet of accordion gauze. The Clacker. No further details, your honor.Can your dentist tell if you've tickled a pickle? Molly has thoughts.Submit your tooth traumas, your retainer confessions, and your first date horror stories. Anonymous confessions always open.Support the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Welcome back to Bras Off Confessional — where Molly and Michaela continue to voluntarily overshare to strangers on the internet, apparently having learned nothing.This week: going viral. The good kind, the bad kind, and the kind where hundreds of thousands of French people are laughing at you because you're American and have no idea where they live. Molly's brief foray into mommy blogging produced exactly one mega-viral moment. It was the second thing she ever posted, she was not wearing makeup, and had not washed her hair in roughly 1 week. It currently has 4.5 million views on TikTok and is still circulating. She was not prepared for this to be her moment. It was, in fact, her moment.Michaela went viral during the holidays in a year we won't name, in a way she did not choose, courtesy of someone she'd known since fourth grade. There were pajamas. There was prime rib. There was a group photo. There was NO illness, and yet, it still did not go well.Molly also once told a...uh...very small...story. It went viral on what was supposed to be a safe space for women on the internet (spoiler alert: there's NO safe space for women on the internet). The dirtier version of this story will be released shortly on Patreon, and it's worth the $5/month, hands down.And then there's a French woman named Morgan, and a blank map. The big sis takeaway: the internet is forever — which is a stupid thing to say on a podcast that started with a fart episode, but it's too late for us. Maybe not for you.In this episode:Molly's accidental TikTok era and the labor advice nobody should be givingA Christmas gathering, a group photo, and a frenemy with a Twitter accountThe small eggplant story: PG-13 version here, full version on PatreonFrance is somewhere on a map. Probably.Have you ever gone viral on purpose or by accident? Tell us. Anonymous confessions always open.Support the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Welcome back to Bras Off Confessional! This week, we're doing a state of the union. And the state of the union is: not great. The doomscroll is relentless, the algorithm is not on our side, and there's no amount of Xanax that can reverse what we're all being forced to consume on a daily basis.So we're coping. Creatively. Questionably.Michaela has developed a small collection of rituals — moon water, full moon ceremonies, Jesus candles from the dollar store, and a vibrator. She's not saying it fixes everything. She's saying it's better than vodka at 10am. Marginally. Also, she may be a witch. Molly has been renovating her kitchen. By herself. Without a contractor. She started doing her own electrical work somewhere around week three of not leaving the house, at which point the risk of electrocution started feeling less like a danger and more like a bonus outcome. Together, they cover the ADD hyperfixation-to-abandoned-hobby pipeline, hair extension trichotillomania, why your succulent might actually want your period blood, and the shared conclusion that roasting s'mores over the dumpster fire is the best available option right now.Nobody said it was going to be pretty. But we're still here.In this episode:Moon water: the recipe, the ritual, and whether swamp water countsDollar store Jesus candles and what each color is doing for youDIY electrical work as a coping mechanism slash death wishThe ADD craft hyperfixation pipeline (buy everything, finish nothing)Hair extensions, split ends, and trichotillomaniaBlood arugula. 'Nuff said. Support the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Welcome back to Bras Off Confessional — where Molly and Michaela say the things out loud that most people only admit to themselves at 2am.This week: origin stories. Specifically the deeply, spectacularly stupid things we did when we were young and had no prefrontal cortex to speak of. Science says it doesn't fully develop until 25. We have receipts.Molly went through a phase in high school. She was resourceful. She was determined. She was failing chemistry. What she built in her closet was technically alive. Whether it was technically drinkable is a longer conversation — one that ends on Cinco de Mayo in the backseat of someone's car.Michaela was a late bloomer. Two Marine parents, bow in her hair, church groups, straight A's. She moved out at 17, landed in Pacific Beach at 20, got a fake ID, and made some choices. One of those choices involved a tattoo artist whose only red flag at the time was that he needed a ride. It seemed fine. It was not fine. He did eventually do the tattoo though, and only one of them ended up at a laser removal clinic a decade later.Neither story ends in serious bodily harm. Both end in wisdom.In this episode:Molly's basement distillery and the Cinco de Mayo incidentCrackhead Joe and why he was actually the safer option all alongMichaela's tattoo night in Pacific BeachWhy the prefrontal cortex deserves more respect than we gave itSupport the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional

Welcome to Bras Off — the podcast where Molly and Michaela talk about all the things women actually say when no one's supposed to be listening.For the inaugural episode, we went straight to the unspoken contract at the center of every long-term relationship: the fart barrier. Do you break it? Do you hold it in forever? And what the hell happens when you go five years, survive a two-hour road trip on a mountain pass, and somehow still haven't crossed that line?Molly finally comes clean about the time she accidentally shattered the barrier in Manny's car — only to discover he was completely oblivious. Michaela makes a case for controlled silence and explains why Jake is out here ripping them freely while she maintains a strict non-participation policy. They get into queefing jurisdiction, Bristol stool chart basics, the spiritual betrayal of over-trusting a fart, and how an epidural effectively dissolves any remaining modesty you thought you had.This is a cautionary tale. This is a love story. This is Tales from the Grundle.In this episode:The "fart barrier" — what it is, who breaks it, and whether it mattersMolly's five-year butt block and the one incident that technically doesn't countMichaela's ironclad no-fart policy and the ex who changed the game (briefly)Labor, epidurals, and the involuntary dismantling of all dignityQueef taxonomy: when it's a fart, when it's not, and why you should just keep movingThe Bristol stool chart (look it up, ladies)Cotton underwear, grundles, and keeping your undercarriage airySupport the show🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday💌 Join our CommuniTitty on Patreon😏 Submit an anonymous confession📲 Instagram / Tiktok: @brasoffconfessional