CapacityConvos

Episode 7 features Dr. Kristin Neff, pioneering researcher and author, in a powerful conversation on self-compassion, shame, and the deeper work required for real emotional change.Dr. Neff shares insights from over 20 years of research, breaking down what self-compassion actually is and why it goes far beyond positive self-talk or affirmations. She explains the three essential components of self-compassion and why missing even one can prevent true healing and growth.From there, we explore how the nervous system shapes our responses, the hidden role of shame in anxiety and depression, and why learning to stay present with our pain is necessary for transformation. This episode invites a more honest, grounded approach to growth one that requires awareness, courage, and responsibility.This conversation challenges the idea that being hard on yourself leads to success. It calls you into a deeper understanding of self-compassion one that includes accountability, boundaries, and the willingness to face what you would rather avoid.What we cover: • The three components of self-compassion: mindfulness, kindness, and common      humanity • Why self-criticism is not an effective long-term motivator • The difference between self-esteem and self-compassion • How shame fuels anxiety, depression, and people-pleasing • The role of the nervous system in emotional regulation • Fierce self-compassion and setting boundaries • Learning to stay present with pain instead of avoiding it • Personal stories from Dr. Neff including her experience raising her son • Authenticity and the courage to face what we would rather avoidFollow RaQuel on Instagram: @raquel_the_capacity_expertSubscribe on YouTube: @capacityconvosJoin the newsletter: newsletter Subscribe, rate, and share CapacityConvos 

Episode 6 features Brenda in a powerful conversation on faith, obedience, identity, and the tension between spiritual surrender and modern mental health culture.Brenda shares the heart behind her book The Journey of Yes, framing life as a continuous decision to say yes to God. She reflects on her faith journey beginning at a young age, navigating seasons of obedience, distance, and return, and what it has meant to trust God through uncertainty and transition.From there, we explore the balance between God and therapy, the subtle ways idolatry shows up in everyday life, and the challenge of letting go of identities, roles, and systems that compete with full surrender. This episode invites a deeper level of self awareness, discipline, and submission especially in seasons that feel unclear or uncomfortable.This conversation challenges the idea that anything outside of God can define or sustain you. It calls you into alignment, ownership, and obedience even when it means releasing what once felt secure.What we cover:• Saying yes to God and the foundation of The Journey of Yes• Brenda’s faith journey through seasons of obedience, distance, and return• God and therapy and understanding both as tools, not saviors• The danger of idolizing mental health professionals and avoiding responsibility• Idolatry in everyday life including food, identity, and external roles• Letting go of coping mechanisms formed in difficult seasons• The Divine Nine, legacy, and questioning deeper spiritual roots• Church as a foundation for identity, community, and accountability• Navigating seasons of waiting, stillness, and transition• Releasing past identities and submitting to what God is doing nowFollow RaQuel on Instagram: @raquel_the_capacity_expertSubscribe on YouTube: @capacityconvosJoin the newsletter: newsletter Subscribe, rate, and share CapacityConvos 

Episode 5 features independent historian and filmmaker Chad Jackson in a bold conversation on responsibility, mental health, faith, and rethinking history.Chad shares his journey from blue collar beginnings to building a successful plumbing business and media platform, rooted in a commitment to obedience over approval. From there, we explore the tension between personal agency and a culture increasingly shaped by dependency, expert authority, and external validation.This episode challenges the idea that systems, labels, or past circumstances should define your trajectory and instead calls you into ownership, critical thinking, and truth seeking even when it is uncomfortable.What we cover: • Obedience, calling, and the cost of telling hard truths • Mental health through the lens of personal responsibility and spiritual grounding • The limits of therapy without ownership and faith • Statism, expert dependency, and the erosion of individual responsibility • Why freedom requires responsibility • Homeschooling and cultivating independent thinkers • Civic responsibility and keeping politics in its proper place • A different perspective on the Civil Rights era and federal expansion • The leadership of Dr. Joseph H. Jackson and Booker T. Washington • Moving beyond victim identity into personal ownershipFollow RaQuel on Instagram: @raquel_the_capacity_expertSubscribe on YouTube: @capacityconvosJoin the newsletter: newsletter Subscribe, rate, and share CapacityConvos 

Episode 4 features psychologist Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, author of Rise Above, in a powerful conversation on resilience, victimhood, self actualization, and personal growth.Dr. Kaufman shares his early experience being placed in special education due to an auditory processing disability and the self advocacy that helped him challenge limiting narratives about his potential. From there, we explore the psychology of vulnerability, survival mode, identity, and what it truly means to rise above adversity without denying pain.This episode challenges the idea that suffering should define you and instead offers a framework for integrating hardship while continuing to grow.What we cover:• The impact of early labels and self advocacy • Healthy vulnerability versus vulnerable narcissism • How trigger warnings and framing shape anxiety and perception • Suppression versus avoidance and values based action through ACT • Moving beyond survival mode • Individual and collective victimhood traits • Wounded healers versus dark empaths • The psychology of authenticity and its impact • Self verification theory and reinforcing identity • Empowering youth toward future focused meaning and self actualizationFollow RaQuel on Instagram: @raquel_the_capacity_expertSubscribe on YouTube: @capacityconvosJoin the newsletter: newsletter Subscribe, rate, and share CapacityConvos 

Ashley shares her 20 plus year journey living with generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder after her first panic attack at nineteen. What began as a diagnosis slowly became an identity, leading her to question who she was if she could not trust her own brain.In this conversation, we unpack the difference between labels and lived experience, the quiet ways anxiety reshapes life choices, and how to reclaim agency without forcing yourself into extremes to prove you are capable.Ashley also shares the practical tools that help her manage anxiety and why acceptance, community, and responsibility matter more than appearances.What we cover: • When a diagnosis becomes your identity • The danger of romanticizing mental health labels • Anxiety beyond “I cannot do crowds” • The lose lose cycle of over proving yourself • Separating true preferences from anxiety driven avoidance • Tools that help including MBSR, CBT, EMDR, grounding and breathwork • The truth about “high functioning” anxiety • Medication as one tool within a larger plan • Launching anxious.outloud to reduce isolation and add humorConnect:Follow Ashley at @anxious.outloudFollow RaQuel on Instagram: @raquel_the_capacity_expertSubscribe on YouTube: @capacityconvosJoin the newsletter: newsletter Subscribe, rate, and share CapacityConvos 

A powerful conversation with Kelly about capacity, agency, and choosing life in the face of uncertainty. She shares her rare ampullary cancer diagnosis, how she self advocated across hospitals, and why she declined chemo to pursue a clinical trial. We dive into self trust during a major career transition to a federal executive role, finding the right support system at work and at home, and redefining relationships and priorities. Kelly reflects on preparing for death while fully choosing to live through travel, joy, and perspective, anchored by the mantra : you cannot wait until life is not hard before you choose to be happy.What we cover :How to listen to your intuition when the stakes are highNavigating medical decisions with clarity ownership and self trustBalancing ambition health and identity during major life shiftsLetting go of roles relationships and expectations that no longer fitChoosing presence joy and meaning without waiting for life to get easierWhy you’ll love Kelly:She embodies self-trust under pressureShe models what it means to build capacity in real life, not theoryShe reminds us you don’t wait for life to get easier before you choose to be happyFollow RaQuel on Instagram: @raquel_the_capacity_expertSubscribe on YouTube: @capacityconvosJoin the newsletter: newsletter Subscribe, rate, and share CapacityConvos 

In the premiere episode of CapacityConvos, therapist and capacity expert RaQuel sits down with her very first guest, her dad, for a raw, funny, and deeply human conversation about mental health, faith, family, and what it really means to have capacity.Together, they explore the difference between mental health and mental illness, generational beliefs about therapy and discipline, growing up with limited resources, the role of church and hope, surviving dark seasons, and the importance of giving people their flowers while they are still here. RaQuel’s dad shares openly about his own mental health struggles, the resilience that carried him through, and what makes him most proud of his daughter today.This conversation is honest, reflective, and grounding, offering perspective across generations while reminding us that capacity is not about perfection but about persistence, support, and hope.What we cover :Mental health vs mental illness and challenging the idea that medication is the only answerGrowing up with scarcity, faith, and the power of hopeCandid discussion of suicidal thoughts and choosing to keep goingParenting, identity, and being more than one rolePublic criticism, empathy, and telling hard truths with loveLegacy, gratitude, and giving people their flowers nowGuestRaQuel’s dadVeteran, straight shooter, and devoted to family, faith, and honestyContent noteThis episode includes candid discussion of suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. In the United States, call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. For other countries, please check local resources.Follow RaQuel on Instagram: @raquel_the_capacity_expertSubscribe on YouTube: @capacityconvosJoin the newsletter: newsletter Subscribe, rate, and share CapacityConvos