Cringevangelical

A follow up to last week's episode where we get into the nitty gritty of what really went wrong at CSU. Also, can I say King Gizzard and the Wizard Lizard five times fast? Did this college for reals have a 10:30pm curfew? How bad can life get for women? Do you really need a degree to teach college courses or can prayer help you fake it? This and more in a rather scathing episode of Cringevangelical!CW/TW:-homophobia-conversion therapy mentioned-bullying-mentions of extreme isolation-homelessness-financial abuse-religious abuse-classism -ableism-misogyny-emotional turmoil/emotional dysregulation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My greatest enemy has fallen. That's it. What a way to to start off the second season am I right?TW/CW:-Mentions of CSA-Mentions of SA-Mentions of homophobia-Abuse of power-Misogyny -Religious Abuse Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the big finale for Jimmy and his marriage course from Hell! Get ready for USDA certified bullshit as we discuss how to affair proof your marriage. Jimmy brings the tough love by telling us we don't deserve happiness but we do deserve a fire D, as long as that D is honored properly prior and also we pray over said D before we use it. Also a little post script on Sailor Moon and the Christian reading into her (kind of rambly but someone does truly believe they edited out the Christian themes because of woke). Enjoy service y'all. TW/CW:-Misogyny-Fatphobia-'Discussions of abuse (brief and vague)-Emotional manipulation -Xenophobia and racism Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know that your sex is monitored by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Well, according to Jim Jam Jimboree and his wife Karen, Jesus is in the room while you bone, and he likes it! Also, how is Sailor Moon radicalizing Islam? Will God be mad if my wife doesn't cum? Do men do emotions? How about oral? Can cleaning the house take me straight to pound town? These questions no one ever wanted and more on today's episode of Cringevangelical!TW/CW:Purity CultureMisognySlut shamingHomophobiaTransphobiaIslamophobiaXenophobiaEthnocentrism RacismPatriarchal themesSexual themesImplication of nonconsent Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is exactly what you think it is, my coming out story! Just one hour of me yapping about how I figured out I was queer af. This content will include spoilers for the Magnus Archives, me thinking A03 was just a fanpage for the Magnus Archives, the confusion I felt when I went on A03 and it was not just fanfiction about the Magnus Archives, valuable lore surrounding my Monster Pig fanfiction and good old fashioned religious bullshit! Thanks guys, hope you enjoy some extra special content :) TW/CW:-Homophobia-Transphobia-Internalized homophobia -Brief mention of suicidal ideation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I start my indestructible marriages course and it is so boring I get sidetracked and find "The Gathering" a British men's retreat like no other! Get ready for weird marriage tips interspersed with testosterone laced fun in this multinational episode of Cringevangelical!TW/CW:-Colonialism -Homophobia-Transphobia -Mentions of divorce -Mentions of sexual intimacy -Discussions of verbal and emotional abuse-Mention of sex dolls-Mention of unsafe sexual encounters-Discussion of grifting/scamming-Discussion of guns and shooting ranges-Discussions of queer subcultures and stereotypes that surround them Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, you thought we were done being problematic in a British accent? Well, you are wrong because British evangelicals are JUST as political as American evangelicals all in the name of *drum roll* BEING TRANSPHOBIC! That's right, get your paper and pens out, it's time for random British men to teach us how to writer homophobic letters to parliament and for some reason go absolutely ballistic over Scottish education law (hells yeah!). I break down how genuinely terrifying this is and how the UK isn't as different (or that far) from taking on some of the US's less..... savory evangelical practices, in this episode of Cringevangelical. CW/TW:Transphobia HomophobiaKing Ch*rles Boris Johnson Donald Trump RacismXenophobia Colonialism Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today's godly episode, we travel across the pond to see what is the state of affairs for British evangelicals. Listen as I, your fearless (and American, please be gentle, I am American) host as I dive into the misconceptions us ex-fundie kids have about the UK and the continent of Europe in general. This episode includes: me just saying "England" when I mean the UK and then catching myself and correcting myself and then repeating that process ad nauseam, end times conspiracy theories, and sending your kids to Wales to camp for the LORD. Also a PSA, this is most definitely an ANTI monarchist podcast, so don't expect me to be particularly nice to old Charlie and his motley crew. CW/TW-Mentions of war -Colonialism themes-Abortion -Rishi Sunak -Boris Johnson -Liz Truss, I don't message her, but you might have to think about her and I understand how scary that might be-Discussion of apocalyptic events-King Ch*rles-Discussion of disability -Discussion of homelessness and poverty (brief and vague)-Discussion of censorship-Ethnocentrism -Nationalism Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, the Christian marriage app has anatomy graphics for people who are married and have had *the sex*. I am talking basic graphs we got in health class. It's just that like it's news for PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD SEX! That's it. That's the episode. Just forty minutes of me coping with this knowledge. TW/CW:-mentions of pornography-purity culture-descriptions of sexual activity-mentions of riding a subway -mentions of having sex on the subway -exhibitionism -themes of noncon activity-misogyny -chauvinism Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wow wow wow, where to begin? Folks, we have a Christian marriage sex app that is breaking down how oral sex is okay now! Thanks Bethany Beal for making sure I know all about it! I give the history of old Bortles Beal and her reign of sexual....whatever is going on. Also, what if we renamed sex positions so they were more godly? Sex toys in the Christian tradition exist but masturbation is forbidden, so the sex toys are marital aids now and we only use them during the sex. Also we play Would You Rather, and we ask the big questions such as, "Would you rather top or bottom? immediately followed by "Would you rather be shot and killed immediately or would you want to suffer and maybe live?" with no context or reason. All of this and somehow more in this episode that's sexy in a GOD honoring way.CW/TW:-Purity Culture-Sexual Content-Descriptions of sexual activity-Heteronormativity-Homophobia/transphobia (blink and you miss it)-Childhood sexual assault (brief and in intro, skip to four minute mark) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if The Magnus Archives' favorite murderous pig got seriously into it with Black Phillip, saucy and sinister goat from The VVitch? Well, you are in luck because sometimes you have to be your own hero and write stupid fanfiction about murderous barnyard animals goring the shit out of each other. Please take a listen if you want to add objectively dumb writing into your life. TW/CW-Violence-Animal violence (against each other) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahoy maties! Let's sail the seas for God in this swashbuckling episode of Cringevangelical. What would you do if your left eye was removed at an objectively young age rendering you partially blind and with a huge eye patch? Start a ministry where you call yourself a Christian Pirate and write a bunch of pirate songs about God for kids, OF COURSE! Take a listen as we dive into Christian piracy in this Patch the Pirate special!CW/TW:Racism Medical Procedures/Terminal Illness Mention of abortion Mention of immigration Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Uh oh, looks like the atheists are at it again and making me include people that aren't me in greetings! Also, can the atheist bro culture just stop, I go on a rant about everyone's favorite criminal, I mean mayor, Byron Brown, and is Santa robbing Jesus' well deserved glory? All of this and more in this holly jolly episode of Cringevangelical. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Girls, is it sin to have a normal bodily reaction? Should you kiss before marriage? How about a nice backrub, that okay? What are the red flags in men? Do I have to be physically attracted to my partner? Am I respecting my husband as a transactional act to get any form of affection from him? These questions no one asks unless they are a sexually confused evangelical girl and so much more on my mini marriage course for evangelical women!TW/CW-Purity Culture (TAKE HEED)-Slut shaming-Inappropriate discussions of SA-Minimization of SA-Harmful views of sexuality-Homophobia-Transphobia-Fatphobia-Misogyny-Chauvinism-Mental Health minimization-Mistreatment of women-Verbal abuse-Sexual abuse-Emotional abuse-Manipulative language-Gaslighting-Inappropriate discussion of divorce-Discussion of unhealthy and toxic marriages Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Girlies, is it gay for your husband to respect and love you? We are looking over what we will be learning as good Christian wives and husbands. Also, am I a virtuous woman? What is Critical Grace Theory? Will there be oral sex in heaven? All these questions and more are answered very insufficiently in this episode of Cringvevangelical. CW/TWPurity Culture Slut-shaming SwearingSexual content Mentions of oral sexHomophobia TransphobiaRacism Xenophobia Anti-semitism Islamophobia Mentions of marital abuseMentions of emotionally abusive relationships Patriarchal ThemesMisogyny Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What could bring Shrek, Paul Blart, Mr. Darcy, and J.K. Rowling together? Well this fanfiction of course! A little Halloween bonus for y'all. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if your horror movies are causing a demonic influence on your home? Also, what makes a horror movie Christian, can you get rid of your demonic friends through Jesus' name, and when will Alanna ever stop rambling!? This and more on this spooky episode. TW/CW-Abortion -Demonic possession -Child abuse (not described)-Mental Illness -Medical Issues not being taken seriously-Mental Illness seen as a sin-Censorship of art and film -Misogyny -Poverty (discussed)-Shame -Classism Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Halloween doesn't need to be a time of darkness and death, it can also be a time of darkness and death as long as that darkness and death happened within the many pages of the Bible. What wouldn't the little kiddies like more than passing out Bible tracts dressed up as David and Goliath while worship songs about victory over death are playing in the background? Plus what if instead of bobbing for apples we bobbed for scripture? And what if you went trick or treating but subtlely wrote down the name and address of each of your neighbors so you could target them in future evangelical escapades??????????These questions and more will be answered in this hauntingly holy episode.TW/CW:-Discussion of satanic and demonic activity -Mentions of child abuse or neglect -Stalking behavior described Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Banned Books Week! Let's take a little gander at how Evangelicals love a good book banning and this rando who went to Barnes and Noble to read a bunch of young adult literature (without paying) to tell us all how it's evil!TW/CW:-Book banning-Government sponsored censorship -Misogyny -Racism-Transphobia-Homophobia-Queerphobia-JK R*wling-Negative discussion of satanism -Negative comments towards paganism and wicca -Discussion of childhood trauma -Purity culture Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever listened to worship music and thought "why is this so horny?" Well you are in luck, because I also think the same exact thing. Also, what's more casual and normal than making kids sing about eternal damnation being imminent and why exactly did "You Spin Me Right Round (Like a Record)" get a Christian cover on this musical edition of Cringevangelical. TW/CW:HomophobiaNegative views on self worth Discussion of sexSexual innuendos Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The thrilling sequel to Daniel's smiting experience, Dragonball is causing us to *lust* and the many tenets of the Church of Goku.TW/CW:XenophobiaAnti-Asian racism Check out my tumblr @hippeasantwitch and my instagram @cringevangelical_pod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The spooky season is upon us. Get on into it with Gi and Alanna as we discuss the important things in life, like should Vincent Price have done drag and what if a haunted house was Christian in this Cringevangelical Halloween special (as well as our first Cringevangelical punishment).TW/CW:Discussion of periodsPurity cultureMention of abortionMention of medical emergencySexual content (erotica discussion and censored reading)Mass shootingsMauling of human by wild animalsAnimal distress (brief, non violent)BloodGoreSubstance Use/OverdoseMention of mental health as a "sin"https://www.cringevangelical.com/https://www.instagram.com/cringevangelical_pod/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Voldemort arrives to campus with his heathen agenda and a ruthless Reddit account!TW/CW:Forced evangelism Derogatory discussion of atheists Mentions of addiction (non descriptive)Gaslighting Manipulation Misuse of authority Misogyny Discussions of sex and purity (some non direct) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's just like Dungeons and Dragons kids! Except you memorize Bible verses, you get random, unwanted, spiritual guidance, and you can convert NPCs to the one true faith: Evangelical Christianity! Hand in your divining spells for discerning prayer in this (only slightly alarming) episode!TW/CW:Fatphobia (PLEASE take seriously)Body shamingForced evangelizingManipulative language Public humiliation Authoritarian themesPatriarchy Misogyny Christian Supremacy Mention of breastsCrude language Slut shaming Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Harry and Draco finally face off in the penultimate episode of Hogwarts School of Prayers and Miracles. TW/CW:Misogyny ManipulationAnti-Catholic narrativeForced conversion Patriarchal themes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What goes better together than rural New England and Japan? Forced evangelism apparently! Plus a startling found footage discovery in a local missionary's basement and answering the biggest question of all: Will Naruto go to Heaven?!TW/CW:Child P8rnography mentionMentions of blood Anti-Asian racismMentions of common Asian stereotpyesMentions of predatory behaviorsDescriptions of criminal activity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Will Voldemort make homeschooling illegal? Does anyone care about the Constitution?! These questions and more in this installment of Hogwarts School of Prayers and Miracles.TW/CW:Debi Pearl Misogyny Anti-Catholic commentary Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A little look at Vacation Bible School featuring random rants about quinoa, imperialism, and capitalism. TW/CW:RacismImperialismColonializationPoverty White Supremacy Christo-Fascism Mentions of death Mentions of HellXenophobia Ethnocentrism Eurocentrism WarPolitical Upheaval (brief)Misogyny Homophobia Transphobia Ableism Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Harry gets his first class assignment, the kids learn the truth about Voldemort and his attacks on the US Constitution, and Harry sets a plan in motion to make everyone a Gryffindor.TW/CW:-Misogyny -Religious prejudice -Verbal disagreement -Mention of JK R*wling Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Choose your fighter: A rough and ready Cowboy Church Christian or a tent praying British Warrior Christian. This and a big sappy thank you from yours truly in this Summer Camp Special of Cringevangelical!TW/CW:Misogyny Misogyny but British Firearms Mentions of animal abuse (not graphic)Mentions of military and military like actions Anti-LGBTQ themesRacism Ethnocentrism Colonialism Mentions of Poverty Mentions of emotional distressDiscussion of raising animals for meat Link to website. https://www.cringevangelical.com/Link to Instagram https://www.instagram.com/cringevangelical_/?igshid=MjEwN2IyYWYwYw%3D%3D Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Harry has his first trial of faith, the Weasleys have breakfast with Harry, and the big hat choosing ceremony!CW:Anti-Catholic statementsChristofascist thinking and policy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Start dressing for the kingdom girlies, the Lord shines his light on those who follow his sensible denim path. TW:Purity cultureSlut shamingDiscussion of abuse and manipulationGaslighting descriptionsPatriarchal structures and idealsAlcohol mentionsMarijuana mentionsMentions of virginity Descriptions of cultish behaviorMentions of notable, alleged, abusers (Ghislaine Maxwell, Colleen Ballinger, Prince Andrew, Danny Masterson, Chris Noth, and Bryan Singer) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chapters 3 and 4 are here with some good old fashioned Christian dinner and a triumphant purity monologue. Now get on your knees and PRAY!CW:-Virginity being favored-Mentions of violence-Themes of patriarchy-Themes of obedience as favorable Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music festivals but you have to go to church at the music festival, who needs medicine when you have prayer and unwanted advice, and lesbians are eldritch fear gods in this episode (PLEASE HEED THE TWs)TWs:-mentions of suicde-mentions of eating disorders-mentions of OCD -mentions of medical misogyny -minimization of chronic illness and symptoms related to chronic illness-mentions of children in potentially dangerous situations -mention of abortion -mention of gaslighting-mentions of lack of self-worth-mentions of childhood abandonment -mention of panic attacks-mentions of poverty Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever wonder how Christians would write Harry Potter? Well, hand in your broomstick for an old rugged cross because we are about to read through Hogwarts' School of Prayers and Miracles!CW: Mention of addiction Mention of sexual activity outside of a marital context as negativeMisogyny and gender stereotypes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stop catching those Pokemans and get evangelizing kids!CW: Anti-Asian Racism and StereotypingMentions of addictionForced evangelismMentions of the occult and satan worship Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just giving a warm Cringevangelical welcome to the Podcast. Blessings. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.