crumbs from His table fellowship podcast

How glorious Your garments, Great High Priest, Clothed in glory and beauty, Your people upon Your heart, Holiness on Your forehead, Judgment on Your shoulders, Scars on Your back, Nail prints in Your hands, Spear stab in Your side. You are the merciful and faithful High Priest In the service of God To make propitiation for sins not Yours, Crowned with glory and honor, Grace pouring from Your lips. You are the great and good High Priest, Living, saving, interceding forever For those who draw near to God Through You. I come in grateful adoration For such an immaculate Mediator, Holy, innocent, unstained, set apart, Exalted, generous in self-oblation, Both priest and spotless sacrifice, Guaranteeing a better covenant. How, O Lord, can we shabby sinners Be the joy set before You, The joy surpassing pain of cross And bloody sweat? Forgive my sins, for they are many. Thank You for Your grace in Saving the lost and derelict, loving The unlovable, making waifs and urchins Your blood-bought family, Growing in reflected glory as we gaze at Yours, growing in holiness as Your Spirit works out the grace that You have worked in. Glorious and gracious High Priest, Died, risen, ascended, and sure To come again, I worship You. P.S. We recently spotted a scissor-tailed flycatcher (photo below) who graciously accepted our request for photos. Have you seen any new-to-you birds lately?To Live Well, the latest book by O. Alan Noble, would make an excellent book for graduates and intergenerational mentoring. My brief review is here:GoodReads review.Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

“What does it matter? Only that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is proclaimed, and in this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice.”Philippians 1:18 CSB“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. By his own choice, he gave us birth by the word of truth so that we would be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.”James 1:17-18 CSBVolunteers Good seed In good soil Can bear good fruit Despite bad intentions. Seedlings volunteer In the merest bit of soil in sidewalk cracks And the fecundity of compost heaps; Dandelions and oak seedlings will sprout In the most carefully tended beds, Despite diligent efforts At inhospitality. The life inside the tiny caskets Cannot be contained When ready to burst its bonds. God’s living and active Word-seed Will find a way to press down Into hearts of God’s choosing, And upward in eternal life And abundant fruit.“Since you have purified yourselves by your obedience to the truth, so that you show sincere brotherly love for each other, from a pure heart love one another constantly, , because you have been born again — not of perishable seed but of imperishable — through the living and enduring word of God. For ‘All flesh is like grass, and all its glory like a flower of the grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord endures forever.’ And this word is the gospel that was proclaimed to you.”1 Peter 1:22-25 CSBScripture quotations marked CSB have been taken from the Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible® and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Good Shepherd of the sheep, Master of the great feast, Lord of the harvest, I worship You. O Lord, You see the multitudes still suffering over the long haul from the ravages of the pandemic. Their needs are many, too great for the strongest and most influential, Much less one such as I. All I can do is bear them on my heart to Your throne of grace. You have mercy and grace to help them in time of need. And You can sway the hearts of Your people to help carry the cross of disability. If You are willing, You can even heal. Lord, I bring You the mothers nurturing from the sofa; The artists whose creative vision is blurred by brain fog; The athletes bound to wheelchair and home; The scientists whose bright intellects have been dimmed and dulled; The physicians imprisoned in home or bed from infections in the line of duty; The millions slogging through hours of work to earn their bread, Who keep their illness secret to protect their jobs; The millions more unable to work at all, but denied disability assistance And struggling to meet basic survival needs; The children and young people whose promising futures vaporized When we, their elders, did not shield them from disease, disability, and death Borne like smoke in the air. I bring You the wife deciding between taking a shower and preparing a meal, Unable to attempt both today. I bring You the mama fighting through Long COVID brain fog To care for her adolescent daughter diagnosed with dementia, Dementia caused by COVID. I bring You the sufferers weary of research And demoralized by begging for validation, protection, A listening ear, and the kindness of understanding. I bring You those traumatized by medical disbelief, dull ears, denial. I mourn these broken bodies and damaged futures. I lament our guilt, our culpability, As a church and as a society. Our sins are many and grievous. We have not loved You with our whole hearts, Nor our neighbors as ourselves. I am heartily sorry for these our misdoings. Forgive us, Lord. Forgive me, Lord, For my failures to love these battered bodies and bruised souls well. They are persons clothed with the inherent dignity of Your image. We have not honored that humanity And treated their lives as sacred to You. Awaken Your church to true repentance— We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves— To relinquish excuses And to love You by loving the least. What we do to the sick and in prison, We do to You, Lord Christ. Have mercy on us for the hardness of our hearts, O Savior of the pierced side. Lift our gaze from our own internecine quarrels To the ocean of desperate need all around us. Open our ears to the cries of the hundreds of millions Imprisoned and alienated by sick bodies and beds of suffering. Good Shepherd of the sheep, Gather the forlorn and forsaken sheep into Your arms; Carry them through the dark valley at the pace of Your pulse; Extrude Your undershepherds to guard, nourish, and abide with them. Master of the feast, Send forth Your servants to bear On stretchers the sick and disabled, Welcoming them to the gracious abundance of Your hospitality, Not dependent on performance, appearance, or productivity, But only on their need and willingness. Lord of the harvest, Raise up Your fellow workers To go forth weeping, Carrying the seed of Your Word, The seed of the gospel, The seed of promises and hope; Cultivating Your truth; Pouring out Your life-giving water In hope of a harvest of joy. Lord God Almighty, Raise up helpers to do for them what they cannot do; Raise up givers to share their financial burdens; Raise up advocates to fight alongside them through the torturous disability and accommodation process; Raise up physicians, wise and patient, willing to believe their witness of suffering and weakness, Curious, diligent, and dedicated to finding treatments now and, one day, cures; Raise up teachers and tutors for the children who can only learn at home; Raise up servants willing to help them on their own terms, gladly stripping off pride and self-preferences to wash their feet; Raise up friends and comforters with listening, empathetic ears, Kind eyes, shared tears, ready to sit with Job on the ash heap in silence; Raise up prophets speaking forth words of life, forgiveness, hope, and peace; Raise up just leaders ready to act with integrity and humble service, Valuing moral duty above political expediency; Raise up pastors to instill courage in the downcast, To strengthen marriages to endure the furnace of chronic illness, To support grieving, anxious children who have lost their Before-COVID parent Though that loving heart still beats. Be all these things in Yourself, Lord: Helper, giver, advocate, Physician, teacher, servant, Friend, prophet, leader, pastor. You are these and more And can form us into Your likeness, To do after You what we see in You, To follow in Your steps. Look upon this multitude, Needing all this practical aid, And also the care and cure of their souls. Whom will You send, Lord? Who will go for You? Where are the churches who will search out these lost lambs? These invisible ones, like lepers, exiled outside the camp? Who will bend low in humble service, Be the hands and feet of Jesus to those who cannot respond in kind? Who will join the fellowship of the beautiful feet, Extending good news Of hope in Jesus, The enduring kingdom to come, the new bodies awaiting, A purpose in our suffering, All things cooperating for good for those who love You. The chronically ill will not, cannot, likely Fill coffers or pews, fold bulletins, or chair committees. They cannot teach Sunday school or sing in choir. Yet lavishing love on the languishing Is lavishing love on Christ. Give us—me—ears to listen, Hearts to love, Hands to serve, Wills to believe their stories, Comfort in our own afflictions To share with them. In the multitude of needs, Bless and multiply these offered crumbs For Your name’s sake. Good Shepherd of the sheep— Seek the lost and wounded and bear them up in Your strong arms. Master of the great feast— Summon and serve the sick and disabled, Made welcome under Your banner of abundant love. Lord of the harvest— Raise up faithful workers and send them into Your fields To labor diligently to gather in the fruit of Christ’s suffering. Your kingdom come, Father. Your will be done, For Your glorious name’s sake. Amen. Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

“Look at ships too: Though they are so large and driven by harsh winds, they are steered by a tiny rudder wherever the pilot’s inclination directs. So too the tongue is a small part of the body, yet it has great pretensions. Think how small a flame sets a huge forest ablaze. And the tongue is a fire! The tongue represents the world of wrongdoing among the parts of our bodies. It pollutes the entire body and sets fire to the course of human existence – and is set on fire by hell. For every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and sea creature is subdued and has been subdued by humankind. But no human being can subdue the tongue; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse people made in God’s image.”James 3:4-9 NETTongues of Fire Volcanic words erupt — Angry grief spews ash and flame — Torrents of molten stone Burst forth, burning and destroying Loyalty and loveliness. Swaths of thriving trust Lie smothered, entombed beneath The mountain’s liquid heart. Ash clouds obscure sky and Light in sites far-flung from Caldera’s blaze. Lava cools. Earth’s trembling calms, But oh— The destruction that endures As seared, scarred, scorched, and buried lives Mend harm done, Restore the ravaged, Rebuild the razed. Eruption flares and quiets; Devastation wrought remains. Lava cools faster than burns heal. O true and living Word,Forgive my lava words,Words which would burn and destroy.Cleanse and heal the anger, fear, and bitterness from which they come.Cleanse and heal the wounds of others’ searing words in my heart.Fill my mouth instead with words which sustain the weary,Hearten the discouraged,Give good news to the suffering,Offer grace to the burdened and shamed,Lighten the darkness,Speak truth with love,And teach Your words of life accurately.When the true, kind, and necessary words must wound to heal,Make them also loving, tender, and gentle,Binding up the pain with comfort and blessing.Fill my heart at all times with Your love and goodness,That the words which overflow may revive and strengthen the hearersTo love and follow Christ in the power of the Spirit.“May my words and my thoughts be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my sheltering rock and my redeemer.”Psalms 19:14 NETAmen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Who can find a wife of noble character?For her value is far more than rubies.Proverbs 31:10, NETThanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.The blooms keep reenchanting my imaginationAs they unfurl petals like the woman of khayilFacing the future and all its dire prognosticationsWith hands outstretched and kindness on her tongue.They bloom so bravely in the window there,Rose and white streaked satin petals,Crimped edges, curling back like unclenched fists,Their hearts of streaky green and apple seedsLaid bare before a world that deals not often kindlyWith bare hearts. Before their valiant candorMy own armored, fainting heart beholds its povertyAnd sighs.Written in January 2021Special guest on the audio: Moose Tracks barking at the wind This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

In The War for Middle-Earth, historian Joseph Loconte has provided an exhaustively researched and insightful examination of the lives and works of C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien in the context of World War II and the decade preceding it. He discussed the ideological water in which Lewis and Tolkien swam and worked, the interbellum and World War II history of Great Britain, the friendship and writerly encouragement between Lewis and Tolkien (and the other Inklings, but these two centrally), and the way the world events from the First World War through the rise of totalitarianism and the Second World War shaped their imaginations and work. To borrow Barbara Tuchman’s phrase, gazing in the “distant mirror” of history through this book felt both emotionally moving and ideologically important. It helped me see my own time more clearly and charted a course for thoughtful, creative Christians living in another tumultuous age. I would shelve it between the works of the Inklings and the works of Francis Schaeffer. It built on the foundation Loconte laid in New York Times best-seller A Hobbit, a Wardrobe, and the Great War.The best-known fictional works of Lewis and Tolkien bore the mark of the wars on the authors. Lord of the Rings was substantially written during World War II, and the fellowship—like the British, especially from Dunkirk on—fought valiantly against an evil existential threat with no certainty of victory. The British fought on against Italian and German fascism, even with a very real risk of obliteration from the air, of invasion by sea, and of mass starvation on an island suddenly cut off from the resources of her allies and Commonwealth. Like the fellowship, they fought on because they believed they fought a wickedness so great that it must be resisted, even if they died in the attempt. It is easy today, especially from North America, to underestimate that mortal peril to civilians and British civilization when looking back, already knowing the outcome.The literary epics Lewis and Tolkien loved, the tales like Beowulf which forged their own moral imaginations, convinced them that modern Christian myth-making (“mythopoeia”) could kindle courage in a disillusioned and hopeless generation. From their own experiences of transformation through beloved stories, from Norse legend to the Aeneid to Beowulf to Paradise Lost to George Macdonald, they knew that great stories could be levers with which to shift imaginations and affections. After all, conversations with Tolkien and Hugo Dyson about the supreme Myth to which all lesser stories point proved crucial in C. S. Lewis’s conversion to faith in Christ. This is not to say that they made stories intended primarily for moral instruction; rather, the underlying values the stories embodied portrayed the good and true as beautiful and desirable and unmasked the bad and false as ugly and repellent.Into the prevailing climate of materialism, they unflinchingly insisted on an unseen reality greater and more important than what can be seen, felt, and measured.Into the climate of religious doubt, they pointed to the Creator as the source of hope, goodness, and rescue for our bent and broken humanity.Into a climate of eugenics, they portrayed a world where survival depended on the least and littlest of the peoples of Middle Earth and even the brutal and treacherous Gollum deserved life and compassion, whereas genetic optimization produced the monstrous super-orcs of Saruman, and only the worst villains of the National Institute of Co-ordinated Experiments (NICE) gave support to eugenic experiments. In That Hideous Strength, the corrupt Lord Feverstone, one of the architects of NICE’s planned society, echoed real-world eugenicists when he advocated for “‘sterilisation of the unfit, liquidation of backward races (we don’t want any dead weights), selective breeding. Then real education, including pre-natal education. By real education I mean one that has no ‘take-it-or-leave-it’ nonsense. A real education makes the patient what it wants infallibly: whatever he or his parents try to do about it’” (C.S. Lewis, The Space Trilogy, 473). Bucking the trend, even among public-facing Christians, Lewis critiqued this more directly in The Abolition of Man. Into a climate of racism, they offered the beauty of reconciliation and deep friendship between a dwarf and an elf in The Lord of the Rings, and the harmonious cooperation between the three primary sentient life forms on Malacandra in Out of the Silent Planet.Into a climate of totalitarianism, they presented the wonder of humble, sacrificial leadership in Aragorn and Ransom and the need of diverse gifts, united in one purpose, if good were to triumph. Sauron, Weston the Un-Man, the White Witch of Narnia, and NICE, on the other hand, showed the will to power in all its ugly, soul-destroying evil.Into a climate of atheistic evolution, they painted pictures of a radiant, flourishing, personal creation filled with song and color.Into a climate of peace-at-any-price isolationism and appeasement, they upheld the old beliefs in a true moral good worth defending, even at the cost of life itself, and true moral evil so grave that it must be opposed, though one should die in the attempt.Into a climate of disillusion and dissolution, they held out hope like starlight captured in a glass and displayed the beauty of lives lived in honor, humility, courage, and sacrificial service. They pointed us toward faith that eucatastrophe is possible, even when hope seems lost, even if death itself must work backward to bring about that sudden, joyful turn of events.Lewis’s space trilogy was produced in this furnace of war and the dual totalitarian ideologies of fascism and communism, both based on “the will to power.” Lewis wrote it as a counter-narrative to the atheistic and nihilist science fiction of H. G. Wells. Lewis also mentored and encouraged the evacuees lodging at his home, the same evacuees who provided the germ of the idea of the first Narnian story. Quotes from one evacuee whose career course he redirected and from both dons’ former students brought their teaching work to life in Loconte’s book.In addition to the imaginative works, Lewis began his Christian apologetic work and honed his ability to communicate to lay persons of varied educational backgrounds as a direct result of World War II. For example, listening to a radio broadcast of a spell-binding speech by Hitler sparked Lewis’s idea for The Screwtape Letters. The essay “Learning in Wartime” began as a sermon to an Oxford congregation and made it clear that war was not the greatest danger they all faced; rather, fear, sinful neglect of duty, and unfaithfulness to God were. The talks which became Mere Christianity were requested by the head of the BBC to fortify the British with the moral courage and eternal hope they needed to resist at great cost instead of surrender. Revisiting that book now surprised me with the frequent use of wartime imagery and mentions. (How had I not noticed that?) The Abolition of Man began as wartime talks for the University of Durham. Lewis also traveled the length of Britain sharing Christian hope with the very young airmen of the Royal Air Force, men whom Lewis knew may not have another opportunity to hear the gospel message before flying into death for King and country. If that were not enough, he also agreed to a student’s request that he preside over the new Oxford Socratic Club.On the other hand, only Lewis’s enthusiasm and “indefatigable” collegial criticism spurred perfectionist Tolkien to stop revising/rewriting and finish The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Tolkien acknowledged to Walter Hooper, “‘You know, C. S. Lewis was such a boy, he had to have a story. And that story, The Lord of the Rings, was written to keep him quiet!’” (Kindle location 3623). While neither work was an allegory—Tolkien made no bones about that—the latter chapters of The Hobbit and the whole of Lord of the Rings were haunted by the darkness threatening the real world of the author during the writing and the terror he had already lived through in the Great War.The aerial attacks of the Nazgul…the treachery of Saruman…the will to power embodied by Saruman, Sauron, and, in incipient form, in Boromir…the demand for courage against an unbeatable foe because ceasing to fight would be worse than ceasing to live…the darkness and lean rations of besieged Gondor and of Sam and Frodo on their trek to Mordor…the constant second-guessing: whom to trust, which path to take, which priority to address first…the temptation to trust the strength of the mighty more than the virtue of the cause…the feeling that the survival of all Middle Earth came down to quite ordinary hobbits from a little homely place called the Shire…the need for real, deep, sometimes unlikely friendship in order to carry on fighting…the unlikely rewards of showing compassion, by the hobbits to Gollum, for instance, and by Faramir to Sam and Frodo…And exchanges like this:“Always after a defeat and a respite, the Shadow takes another shape and grows again.”“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. And already, Frodo, our time is beginning to look black. The Enemy is fast becoming very strong. His plans are far from ripe, I think, but they are ripening. We shall be hard put to it.” (J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings, 54).When else in the twentieth century would these themes have been more resonant with the popular imagination or more at the forefront of an author’s mind? Lewis went so far as to say of the finished work, “‘So much of your whole life, so much of our joint life, so much of the war, so much that seemed to be slipping away spurlos [without a trace] into the past, is now, in a sort, made permanent’” (Kindle location 3623).Loconte added,It is an extraordinary thing to say: Through the use of his imagination, Tolkien captured something of the quality of their common life and the moral and spiritual truths that gave it meaning. He accomplished this only after years of struggle, battling doubts and discouragement, amid the ravages of the most horrifying war in history. Here is what friendship can achieve when it reaches for a high purpose and is watered by the streams of loyalty, sacrifice, and love (Kindle location 3623).Consequently, even though The Lord of the Rings was not an allegory of World War II, life in England during the war provided the terroir in which the seeds of the story sprouted and bore fruit. So much of the power of the trilogy lay in the steadily growing sense of doom, juxtaposed against the sweetness of friendship and surprising interludes of grace, all the way to the sudden, joyous eucatastrophe when hope seemed extinguished. The courage, heartbreak, hunger, exhaustion, grief, and determination pervading the trilogy came from the pen of someone who tasted those things himself. The unfolding chapters sustained the Inklings as they were being written and discussed, and I expect they also sustained Tolkien’s sons on the front lines as they received the chapters in progress in their father’s letters.It astonished me how committed the Inklings were to bi-weekly meetings throughout World War II and how prolific Lewis and Tolkien were during this harrowing time, in addition to their full-time teaching responsibilities, family demands, illnesses, and assorted war work on the home front. From 1939 to 1945, in addition to the works already mentioned, Lewis completed The Problem of Pain, The Great Divorce, the essay “The Inner Ring,” and the talks which became Preface to Paradise Lost. Tolkien completed the first draft of Lord of the Rings, delivered the address which became the long essay “On Fairy-Stories,” and wrote Leaf by Niggle and more Letters from Father Christmas.The image of these middle-aged literary men, all veterans of the Great War, wending their ways through Oxford, manuscripts-in-progress in hand, to a Tuesday morning at the pub was beautiful. Envisioning them navigating cobbled streets in blacked-out nights, carrying gas masks as well as manuscripts, ears alert to air raid sirens, so that they could sit together in Lewis’s rooms to read, encourage, and critique each others’ words—this was exquisite. “Learning in Wartime” applied to Oxford dons too.Due to paper rationing, Tolkien had to resort to writing his books on blank pages left at the end of students’ exam papers or as a palimpsest on the graded pages themselves. Tolkien and Lewis both adapted and taught condensed curricula for young men soon to ship out, in addition to their usual teaching duties. Tolkien served as an air raid warden, watching through the nights for German planes and fires and making night patrols to enforce blackouts, curfews, taking shelter during air raids, and carrying of gas masks. In addition to public speaking, Lewis served in the Home Guard. They also both engaged in wide-reaching correspondence with friends, religious leaders, colleagues, and family members. (This included two of Tolkien’s sons and Lewis’s brother Warnie, all serving in the British armed forces.)What a remarkable look at a remarkable pair during a remarkable time in history. The survey of prevailing philosophies in the west between the world wars was exceptional in clarity and breadth. Loconte’s arguments against blaming the rise of totalitarianism on the Treaty of Versailles would merit further consideration. The skillful use of primary sources and interviews with the professors’ students added welcome color and charm. The War for Middle Earth would enrich the reading lives of those interested in the two writers discussed, of course, but also those interested in the history of ideas, the history of Great Britain in the 1930s and 1940s, and literary criticism (i.e., books about books).Today’s Christian creators can learn much from Lewis and Tolkien about the consciously countercultural leverage of imagination to effect ideological change. Disillusion and dissolution need not have the final word in our day any more than in theirs. There are still (and will always be, until the Lord returns) evils worthy of resistance, even with no apparent chance of victory. Let us press on in fighting for the good, true, and beautiful, for Frodo and the Shire, for Narnia and the North. Professors Lewis and Tolkien (and this book about them) have shown us the way.My thanks to NetGalley and Thomas Nelson for an ARC of this book. (I have since purchased my own copy.) The Amazon links are affiliate links and will drop a few virtual coins in my tip jar when purchases are made through them. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Call to Worship:“Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those experiencing any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NETLet us confess our sins to Almighty God:Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against You this day, in thought, word, and deed; by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved You with our whole hearts; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent. For the sake of Your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us, that we may delight in Your will, and walk in Your ways, to the glory of Your Name. Grant to Your people pardon and peace, that in Your great mercy, we may be forgiven all our sins, and serve You with a quiet and contrite heart. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.(BCP)This is what the Word of God says:“If we say we do not bear the guilt of sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness.”1 John 1:8-9 NETNow let us ask the Lord to help us in the reading of a chapter His Word:Ever-speaking God,Who spoke the world into being,Who sustains it by Your all-powerful word,Who breathed out the Scripture we approach today:In coming to Your Word,We come to You Yourself.Open our eyes to behold You,Our ears to hear the Good Shepherd ‘s voice,Our hearts to love You,And our wills to follow YouAll the days of our lives,In the name of Jesus the living Word.Amen.Let us listen together to this portion from God’s Word:Psalm 130A song of ascentsOut of the depths I call to you, Lord!Lord, listen to my voice;let your ears be attentiveto my cry for help.Lord, if you kept an account of iniquities,Lord, who could stand?But with you there is forgiveness,so that you may be revered.I wait for the Lord; I waitand put my hope in his word.I wait for the Lordmore than watchmen for the morning—more than watchmen for the morning.Israel, put your hope in the Lord.For there is faithful love with the Lord,and with him is redemption in abundance.And he will redeem Israel from all its iniquities. ”Psalms 130:1-8 CSBThis is the Word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.Continuing in our prayers for the day:“O you who are full of compassion, I commit and commend myself unto you, in whom I am, and live, and know. Be the goal of my pilgrimage, and my rest by the way. Let my soul take refuge from the crowding turmoil of worldly thoughts beneath the shadow of your wings; let my heart, this sea of restless waves, find peace in you, O God. Amen.”Augustine (354-430)“Jesus of the Scars”“If we have never sought, we seek Thee now;Thine eyes burn through the dark, our only stars;We must have sight of thorn-pricks on Thy brow,We must have Thee, O Jesus of the Scars.“The heavens frighten us; they are too calm;In all the universe we have no place.Our wounds are hurting us; where is the balm?Lord Jesus, by Thy Scars, we claim Thy grace.“If, when the doors are shut, Thou drawest near,Only reveal those hands, that side of Thine;We know today what wounds are, have no fear,Show us Thy Scars, we know the countersign.“The other gods were strong; but Thou wast weak;They rode, but Thou didst stumble to a throne;But to our wounds only God’s wounds can speak,And not a god has wounds, but Thou alone.”Edward Shillito (1872-1948), a Free Church minister in England during World War IIntercessionMy Lord and my God,This day I offer you my thoughts, feelings, words, and actions;My trials and my joys;My desires and my disappointments;My anxieties and my gratitude;My loved ones,My enemies,And myself,For Your glory and every good, loving design You have for us.Please take anything the enemy intends for our harm,Anything meant for evil toward us,And transform it by weaving it together for glorious good not only to us but to many.We ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.Let us also pray specifically for government leaders:O Most High God,King of kings and Lord of lords,Who rules the kingdom of humanity and gives it to whom You will:All Your works are right and Your ways just;The hearts of the greatest in power and wealth are like streams of water You turn where You wish;In Your great mercy and steadfast love,Guide and direct our governing authoritiesSo that we may lead peaceful and quiet lives,Godly and dignified in every way;Draw our leaders always nearer to Yourself,That they might do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before You,Until Your kingdom comes in fullness, on earth as it is in heaven,In the mighty name of Jesus.Amen.Please join me in praying after the pattern the Lord Jesus taught His disciples, saying:“Our Father who art in heaven,Hallowed be thy name.Thy kingdom come,Thy will be done,On earth as it is in heaven.Give us this day our daily bread;And forgive us our debts,As we also have forgiven our debtors;And lead us not into temptation,But deliver us from evil.”Matthew 6:9-13 RSVFor Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever.Amen.(Final phrase present in some manuscripts but not all; in the marginal note for RSV.)In conclusion:“‘The Lord bless you and protect you; The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.’”Numbers 6:24-26 NETFor Those Who Wish to Go Deeper in Today’s Passage:The next step is to read or listen to the passage prayerfully, with an attentive, listening heart, at least 3 times. Reading from multiple translations may be helpful. Do read at least once in your heart language, if that is not English. Let it steep in your soul like tea leaves or ground coffee, until it begins to flavor your heart and mind.Next, still in an attitude of prayer, bring the 5 W’s and H into your observation. Ask and answer who, what, when, where, why, and how questions from the text. If the answer isn’t in the text, you might make a note of the question for later in the process. Read it like a note from your first childhood crush. Slow down and really notice as many details as you can. See if you can record 25 observations. If that seems easy, try 25 more. Keep going until you get stuck. Then try again tomorrow. I still notice new details after 38+ years of daily Bible reading.Here are a few specific suggested questions to help you begin:· Who is praying here? An “I” or a “we”?· To whom is the psalm addressed? To God, to self, to community, or some combination?· What requests are made?· What is stated about the situation of the psalmist?· What attributes or characteristics of God are mentioned?· Do you see any repeated words or phrases? If so, list them. Are they exact repetitions? If not, what is different?· Are there any promises from God? Promises to God?· What does the psalmist hope for?· You may wish to pray this Psalm again for yourself. You are allowed to pause and tell the Lord more specifically what help you need, what iniquities you need to confess, what promises ground your hope, what needs to be redeemed…. If you have a journaling Bible or a Bible with wide margins, you might find it helpful to make that kind of annotations beside the relevant lines of this Psalm.Remember to stay in conversation with God throughout. Ask Him questions and look in the Bible for answers. Don’t forget that this is His Word, and study is one way we hear His voice. Linger in reflection and meditation on what you read and the details you observe. Thank God for His promises and what He reveals about Himself.This concludes another installment of pretend Bible study, where we prayerfully read the Scriptures one chapter at a time, but it need not end your time alone with God. Blessed studying to you all. Until next time, courage, dear hearts.Downloadable document for prayer offline This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

“In the last days the mountain of the Lord’s house will be established at the top of the mountains and will be raised above the hills. Peoples will stream to it, and many nations will come and say, ‘Come, let’s go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob. He will teach us about his ways so we may walk in his paths.’ For instruction will go out of Zion and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.”Micah 4:1-2 CSBTurning from all that trips us up,Falling short of the uprights of righteousness(Or aiming at the wrong goal altogether);Weak, misdirected, and disordered love—Loving the wrong thingsOr the right things the wrong way;Prayerlessness, thanklessness, faithlessness;Legalism and license;Pride, greed, idolatry;Resentment and ingratitude,Words which set worlds ablaze—Let us embark for the mountain of the Lord,The mountain of the Lord,The mountain of the Lord.Casting off all that weighs us down,Bruised heart, stiff neck,Feeble knees, dull ears,Drooping hands, lame feet, stammering tongues,Backs bent double ’neath the weight of burdens never meant for us,Misshapen yokes we crafted for ourselves—Let us run to the mountain of the Lord,The mountain of the Lord,The mountain of the Lord.Flinging aside all that holds us back,The body of this death,This threadbare, moth-eaten tent,Worn with weakness,Fading with frailty,Withering with age,Trembling digits, gnarled joints, clouded eyes,Shriveled limbs, addled minds, failing hearts—Let us fly to the mountain of the Lord,The mountain of the Lord,The mountain of the Lord.Laying aside every hindrance,every sin that dogs our steps,Every dying cell of dust-bound frames—Let us embark, let us run, let us flyTo the mountain of the Lord,The mountain of the Lord,The mountain of the Lord.~December 2025, crlm“On this mountain, the Lord of Armies will prepare for all the peoples a feast of choice meat, a feast with aged wine, prime cuts of choice meat, fine vintage wine. On this mountain he will swallow up the burial shroud, the shroud over all the peoples, the sheet covering all the nations. When he has swallowed up death once and for all, the Lord God will wipe away the tears from every face and remove his people’s disgrace from the whole earth, for the Lord has spoken. On that day it will be said, ‘Look, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he has saved us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him. Let’s rejoice and be glad in his salvation.’ ”Isaiah 25:6-9 CSBNew Year, New Bible Reading PlanWhereas the poem above considers things we must put off and lay down in our pilgrimages to the Celestial City, there are also a few essentials—the Bible, prayer, and worship (with a faithful church community where possible)—we must take up and carry throughout our lives. These are the things that sustain faith through the many, many, deep trials which we must face as we follow Christ. If my life outlasts my ability to do them for myself, I pray the Lord would bring someone to read Scripture, pray, and worship with me the way we did with my mother in her final years.In that light, have you planned your 2026 Bible reading yet? One of my favorite December activities is choosing my reading strategy for the coming year. This year’s plan took a chronological approach, placing the prophets where they fit in the timeline of the historical books, some of the Psalms where they fit in David’s biography, and the New Testament letters in chronological rather than published order, interwoven with the book of Acts. Some plans read from one book at a time and go straight through, book by book. Others assign small portions from 2-4 places each day. Plans also vary in whether they build in breathing room.For 2026, I’m delighted to share two different options for following a Bible reading plan in communityThe first, which I plan to do, comes from The Village Chapel in Nashville, Tennessee. That church is undertaking a churchwide initiative to read (or listen to) The M’Cheyne Bible Reading Plan in 2026 and memorize an assigned Bible verse each week. The audio chapters, read by Kristyn Getty or Conrad Mbewe, are available for free in podcast form for the ESV translation. TVC has compiled a rich document of Treasuring God’s Word resources, reading guides, printables, tips, and FAQs for those who are interested. The M’Cheyne plan has a rich history and has supported the growth in Christ of many, many believers around the world, including yours truly. It is one of my favorite reading plans, which I have returned to several times in the last 38 years.In addition, the Revive Our Hearts community will also read through the whole Bible in 2026, but with a different plan. They are offering email reminders for those who sign up, and both reading plans and resources are available in many languages at the dedicated page of their website.I have established relationships with both TVC and ROH and recommend these communities without hesitation.Do you have a Bible-reading routine? If not, I pray the Lord would guide you to one that He knows will keep you seeking Him day by day. Following some kind of plan has been essential to my Christian life so that I don’t only return to the favorite and familiar passages to the exclusion of the whole counsel of Scripture. If you do have a reading strategy, I’d love to hear in the comments what your approach will be this year.“For it is no empty word for you, but your very life” (Deuteronomy 32:47, ESV). This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

In this Christmas week, here is another installment of Pretend Bible Study, where we prayerfully read the Scriptures one chapter at a time.Call to Worship:“Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those experiencing any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NETLet us confess our sins to Almighty God:Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against You this day, in thought, word, and deed; by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved You with our whole hearts; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent. For the sake of Your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us, that we may delight in Your will, and walk in Your ways, to the glory of Your Name. Grant to Your people pardon and peace, that in Your great mercy, we may be forgiven all our sins, and serve You with a quiet and contrite heart. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.(BCP)This is what the Word of God says:“If we say we do not bear the guilt of sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness.”1 John 1:8-9 NETNow let us ask the Lord to help us in the reading of a chapter of His Word:Ever-speaking God,Who spoke the world into being,Who sustains it by Your all-powerful word,Who breathed out the Scripture we approach today:In coming to Your Word,We come to You Yourself.Open our eyes to behold You,Our ears to hear the Good Shepherd ‘s voice,Our hearts to love You,And our wills to follow YouAll the days of our lives,In the name of Jesus the living Word.Amen.Let us listen together to this portion from God’s Word:Luke 1, English Standard Version[1] Inasmuch as many have undertaken to compile a narrative of the things that have been accomplished among us, [2] just as those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and ministers of the word have delivered them to us, [3] it seemed good to me also, having followed all things closely for some time past, to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, [4] that you may have certainty concerning the things you have been taught.[5] In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, of the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. [6] And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. [7] But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years.[8] Now while he was serving as priest before God when his division was on duty, [9] according to the custom of the priesthood, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense. [10] And the whole multitude of the people were praying outside at the hour of incense. [11] And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. [12] And Zechariah was troubled when he saw him, and fear fell upon him. [13] But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. [14] And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, [15] for he will be great before the Lord. And he must not drink wine or strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb. [16] And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God, [17] and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared.”[18] And Zechariah said to the angel, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.” [19] And the angel answered him, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I was sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. [20] And behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time.” [21] And the people were waiting for Zechariah, and they were wondering at his delay in the temple. [22] And when he came out, he was unable to speak to them, and they realized that he had seen a vision in the temple. And he kept making signs to them and remained mute. [23] And when his time of service was ended, he went to his home.[24] After these days his wife Elizabeth conceived, and for five months she kept herself hidden, saying, [25] “Thus the Lord has done for me in the days when he looked on me, to take away my reproach among people.”[26] In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, [27] to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. [28] And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” [29] But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. [30] And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. [31] And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. [32] He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, [33] and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”[34] And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”[35] And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. [36] And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. [37] For nothing will be impossible with God.” [38] And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.[39] In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, [40] and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. [41] And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, [42] and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! [43] And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? [44] For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. [45] And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”[46] And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, [47] and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, [48] for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; [49] for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. [50] And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. [51] He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; [52] he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; [53] he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty. [54] He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, [55] as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his offspring forever.” [56] And Mary remained with her about three months and returned to her home.[57] Now the time came for Elizabeth to give birth, and she bore a son. [58] And her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown great mercy to her, and they rejoiced with her. [59] And on the eighth day they came to circumcise the child. And they would have called him Zechariah after his father, [60] but his mother answered, “No; he shall be called John.” [61] And they said to her, “None of your relatives is called by this name.” [62] And they made signs to his father, inquiring what he wanted him to be called. [63] And he asked for a writing tablet and wrote, “His name is John.” And they all wondered. [64] And immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue loosed, and he spoke, blessing God. [65] And fear came on all their neighbors. And all these things were talked about through all the hill country of Judea, [66] and all who heard them laid them up in their hearts, saying, “What then will this child be?” For the hand of the Lord was with him.[67] And his father Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied, saying, [68] “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has visited and redeemed his people [69] and has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David, [70] as he spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets from of old, [71] that we should be saved from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us; [72] to show the mercy promised to our fathers and to remember his holy covenant, [73] the oath that he swore to our father Abraham, to grant us [74] that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve him without fear, [75] in holiness and righteousness before him all our days. [76] And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, [77] to give knowledge of salvation to his people in the forgiveness of their sins, [78] because of the tender mercy of our God, whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high [79] to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.” [80] And the child grew and became strong in spirit, and he was in the wilderness until the day of his public appearance to Israel.This is the Word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.Continuing in our prayers for the day:“Give me, O Lord,a steadfast heart, which no unworthy affection may drag downwards;give me an unconquered heart, which no tribulation can wear out;give me an upright heart, which no unworthy purpose may tempt aside.Bestow upon me also, O Lord my God, understanding to know thee, diligence to seek thee, wisdom to find thee,and a faithfulness that may finally embrace thee.“Thomas AquinasO you who are full of compassion, I commit and commend myself unto you, in whom I am, and live, and know. Be the goal of my pilgrimage, and my rest by the way. Let my soul take refuge from the crowding turmoil of worldly thoughts beneath the shadow of your wings; let my heart, this sea of restless waves, find peace in you, O God. Amen.AugustineMost merciful Father,who draws near to the brokenheartedand bandages their wounds:Who but You can heal a broken heart?Comfort Your bruised and battered children;Minister to their woundswith the intimate companionship of Emmanuel,God with us,so that they might discover treasuresin the darkness of their heartachewhich they could not have seenin the sunshine of happier days.Light of light, our Rescuer and Healer,in You we ask this.Amen.IntercessionMy Lord and my God,This morning I offer you my thoughts, feelings, words, and actions;My trials and my joys;My desires and my disappointments;My anxieties and my gratitude;My loved ones,My enemies,And myself,For Your glory and every good, loving design You have for us.Please take anything the enemy intends for our harm,Anything meant for evil toward us,And transform it by weaving it together for glorious good not only to us but to many.We ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.Let us also pray specifically for government leaders:O Most High God,King of kings and Lord of lords,Who rules the kingdom of humanity and gives it to whom You will:All Your works are right and Your ways just;The hearts of the greatest in power and wealth are like streams of water You turn where You wish;In Your great mercy and steadfast love,Guide and direct our governing authoritiesSo that we may lead peaceful and quiet lives,Godly and dignified in every way;Draw our leaders always nearer to Yourself,That they might do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before You,Until Your kingdom comes in fullness, on earth as it is in heaven,In the mighty name of Jesus.Amen.Please join me in praying after the pattern the Lord Jesus taught His disciples, saying:“Our Father who art in heaven,Hallowed be thy name.Thy kingdom come,Thy will be done,On earth as it is in heaven.Give us this day our daily bread;And forgive us our debts,As we also have forgiven our debtors;And lead us not into temptation,But deliver us from evil.”Matthew 6:9-13 RSVFor Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever.Amen.(Final phrase present in some manuscripts but not all; in the marginal note for RSV.)In conclusion:“‘The Lord bless you and protect you; The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.’”Numbers 6:24-26 NETFor Those Who Wish to Go Deeper in Today’s Passage:The next step is to read or listen to the passage prayerfully, with an attentive, listening heart, at least 3 times. Reading from multiple translations may be helpful. Do read at least once in your heart language, if that is not English. Let it steep in your soul like tea leaves or ground coffee, until it begins to flavor your heart and mind.Next, still in an attitude of prayer, bring the 5 W’s and H into your observation. Ask and answer who, what, when, where, why, and how questions from the text. If the answer isn’t in the text, you might make a note of the question for later in the process. Read it like a note from your first childhood crush. Slow down and really notice as many details as you can. See if you can record 25 observations. If that seems easy, try 25 more. Keep going until you get stuck. Then try again tomorrow. I still notice new details after 38+ years of daily Bible reading.Here are a few specific suggested questions to help you begin:· Who are the people in this historical account? List them. Also list the people referred to but not depicted.· What does the text say about each person listed in the first answer?· What does this chapter say about the triune God? What names are used for Him?· What does this chapter say about humankind?· What happened in this chapter? List the events in your own words.· Where did these events occur?· When did these events occur? Consider both the big-picture question of when in history they occurred and any small whens like “the next morning,” “in the evening,” “several days later,” and so forth.· Are there any “why” statements? Look for marker words like “because,” “therefore,” “so that,” and “in order to.” Write down what you observe.· If there are any “how” details in the chapter, write those down too. Some clue words include “by” and “with.” Adverbs, which give information about the action words (verbs) in a sentence, often end in “-ly” and may answer how questions.· Look for repeated words and phrases. Mark each occurrence of them, using a different color or mark unique to each word or phrase. List everything the chapter says about each one. For example, mark every time you see “joy,” “rejoice,” “joyful,” “rejoicing,” and any other forms of “joy” you see. Then record what each mention tells you about joy.Remember to stay in conversation with God throughout. Ask Him questions and look in the Bible for answers. Don’t forget that this is His Word, and study is one way we hear His voice. Linger in reflection and meditation on what you read and the details you observe. Thank God for His promises and what He reveals about Himself.This concludes another installment of pretend Bible study, where we prayerfully read the Scriptures one chapter at a time, but it need not end your time alone with God. Blessed studying to you all. Until next time, courage, dear hearts. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Sidling up in silken slippers,Self-pity seduces with soft sympathy,Never letting slip thatSnug comfort of the duvetIt slides around my shouldersIs a straitjacket,Binding hands and feet from duty and devotion,Blinding eyes to promises and fellowship of Christ in pain,Stifling with earthbound acedia.How different Spirit’s solace—Smelling salts, strong tea, and sturdy shoesTo revive sunk souls,To fortify with comfort,To minister Love in my inmost self,To open blind eyes to my great sinAnd God’s great goodness,To come alongside, supportingMy weakness with His strengthWhen my soul faints on steep inclinesAnd feet stumble, bleeding, on sharp stones.Lord, make me wise to the wiles of self-pity,Wary of its entitlement and promised ease.When tempted to curl, dragonlike, Around my hoard of heartaches,May my soul fly to YouOn nightingale wings of lamentation,Emptying my tears and cries into Your treasure bottle,That You may fill me with love And shelter me under Your wing.May my soul delight in Your true comfort,For only there can I find strengthTo do Your will, to choose theTrue, right, lovely, and eternal,Even when the cost is persevering pain.You are worthy.You are better.You are good.Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

It was the foolish thing of my first vocal solo, for the Good Friday church service 38 years ago, which my God and Father used to bring me to the end of myself and show me how crooked my straightest straight line was compared to the straight-edge of Christ.Good Friday is the annual holy day when Christians especially remember and meditate on the death of Jesus Christ in Jerusalem in space-time history as the perfect, sufficient sacrifice for our sins (not His) so that “whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, ESV).Until that point, I thought participating in every available church activity and believing facts about God from the Apostles' Creed meant I was a Christian. Surely doing the Bible Study Fellowship home lessons my mom shared with me earned extra credit. To my shame, I remember one lesson specifically, on the Beatitudes, which asked me to assess myself on the various characteristics there, including meekness, purity of heart, and making peace. In my eyes I was really doing quite well, thank you very much.Being the type-A perfectionist oldest daughter that I am, when I found out the lyrics of my song came from the account of Jesus at the Garden of Gethsemane, I spent the weeks before the service immersing myself in the Gospel passages describing it. When the day of the solo arrived, stage fright overtook me and I told my mom, who was working on something in the kitchen, that I couldn't sing this and we'd just have to call the music pastor and tell him to choose someone else. Exasperated with me interrupting her, she said, "What's the name of the song again?""Um, 'Thy Will Be Done.'""Well, then, go to your room, get on your knees, and just tell God that."I did, and the Lord opened my heart to understand the passages I'd been reading. He showed me my sin; He showed me my Savior. I trusted Him, trusted that Jesus Christ died for the forgiveness of my sins. His love swept me off my feet. By His grace, He led me that day from knowing some things about God to knowing God, or beginning to.From that day, I began rising early to pray and read my Bible because I loved it, because I loved Him. The hymns came alive as my sung prayers. The communion liturgy expressed my unworthiness and gratitude for Christ's work on my behalf. The Lord made me hungry for Christian books and music and graciously led me to the good and Biblically faithful and protected me from the false.I have no memory of anyone ever "sharing the gospel" with me, calling me to repent and trust Christ, or telling me of my need to be converted. My childhood church didn't do any of that, but that's another story for another time. It took several years and a change of churches before I began to have language for what had happened on that Good Friday which changed everything for me. It will take the rest of my life and then forever to understand that salvation as fully as a girl like me can. I am so grateful. So, so grateful. Blessed be the name of the Lord.This good news is offered to you too. No illness, disability, skin color, marital status, wealth or poverty, productivity, talent or lack thereof, political party affiliation, zip code, or even ability to attend a worship service on-site disqualifies you from the free offer of salvation and a life of intimate fellowship with the Triune God. No sin is too great for God to forgive on the basis of Christ’s substitutionary death and resurrection. Our weakness becomes a platform for the display of His sufficient grace and perfect power.This is what the Word of God says:And you were dead in your trespasses and sins in which you previously walked according to the ways of this world,  according to the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit now working in the disobedient.  We too all previously lived among them in our fleshly desires, carrying out the inclinations  of our flesh and thoughts, and we were by nature children under wrath as the others were also. But God, who is rich in mercy,  because of his great love  that he had for us, made us alive with Christ even though we were dead  in trespasses. You are saved by grace! He also raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavens in Christ Jesus,  so that in the coming ages  he might display the immeasurable riches  of his grace through his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift—not from works, so that no one can boast. For we are his workmanship, created  in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬-‭10‬ ‭CSB‬Those who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ receive assurance:of the unconditional love of God forever and the invitation to make our home in Him in love;of the security of His promises that nothing and no one can snatch us from His hand or separate us from His love;and of the significance of knowing we are made in His image, part of the body of Christ and communion of the saints, filled with His Spirit, and endowed with spiritual gifts to do the works He had designed and prepared us to do.Even if it appears that all we can do is lie in a dark quiet room and exist, completely dependent on the care of others, we can still glorify God by turning our hearts toward Him in worship. That means pouring out our laments to Him as well as our praise and gratitude. We can glorify God by enduring with patient trust. We can glorify God by providing the gift of opportunities for the body of Christ to serve Him in serving us.My only hope in life and death is Christ alone. In all the changes and chances of this life, He is my joy. He is my peace. He is my light. He is my Shepherd. He is truth. He is love. He is victory over death. He gives strength from day to day for all that He appoints.He infuses me with hope that a day is coming when sorrow and suffering will flee away and I will be forever with Him in a body no longer bound by sickness and disability, no longer subject to death and dying. He gives me hope that the temporary afflictions of this life are actively producing an overwhelming and eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.“Suffering is not for nothing,” as the late Elisabeth Elliot said. Christian suffering is, in fact, generative. It is one instrument God uses to create a beautiful forever future better than we can possibly imagine and infinitely more glorious than our suffering is agonizing.If you know Him, too, perhaps this will take you back to the memorial stones of your own salvation? If you don't know Him and want to, I pray the Holy Spirit would use this to show you His holiness, your sin, and the sufficiency of Christ's death. I pray you would trust Jesus as your own personal Savior and embark on the journey of knowing God today.{If you do respond to this post by trusting Jesus, please let me know by leaving a comment or DM or by replying to the email if that’s how you read?} This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Once there was a little Johnny Jump-up with a gold and violet face. All day long he hung his head and sighed, “Oh me, oh my. Oh my, oh me. If only I were tall and elegant like the rose, how happy I would be!”On a trellis nearby grew a tall, slender climbing rose with petals like the flush of a baby’s cheek. All day long she hung her head and sighed, “Oh me, oh my. Oh my, oh me. If only I were strong and useful like the apple tree, how happy I would be.”Overhead arched the strong limbs of the apple tree, laden with sweet green fruit. All day long he drooped his branches and sighed, “Oh me, oh my. Oh my, oh me. If only I had a cozy nest and a family to love like the robin, how happy I would be.”In its branches lived a little robin redbreast, hovering over her nest of speckled blue eggs. All day long she hung her head and sighed, “Oh me, oh my. Oh my, oh me. If only I were free to soar into the sky like the eagle, how happy I would be.”Aloft soared the eagle, alone and splendid. All day long he hung his head and sighed, “Oh me, oh my. Oh my, oh me. If only I could fly into heaven itself like the angels, how happy I would be.”In the heavens themselves, the angels went about serving God and His children among men. One sad angel hung his head and sighed, “Oh me, oh my. Oh my, oh me. If only I could reign like God, with all things serving me, how happy I would be!”“O foolish, rebel creature!” said God. “There is no God but Me. Away with you into the outer darkness!”“As for you, silly eagle,” said the Lord, “If you flew into heaven, who would show the new strength I promise and the heights to which I call My people?”“As for you, little robin,” said the Lord, “If you soared like the eagle, who would show forth My tender care and provision for the smallest of My creatures?”“As for you, mighty tree,” said the Lord, “If you nested and nurtured like the robin, who would bring forth sweet fruit for the strength and joy of My people?”“As for you, precious rose,” said the Lord, “If you grew tall and thick like the apple tree, who would show the world both the beauty and the pain of life in this sinful world?”“As for you, tiny flower,” said the Lord, “If you were tall and elegant like the rose, who would make men smile and forget their worries in the beauty I lavish on the very ground they tread?”“O foolish creatures! If you would only stop fretting over what you are not and enter into My joy in making you as you are, how happy you would be!” This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

The full text of this evening prayer post, with original photos, can be found at crumbsfromhistable.substack.com.Call to Worship:“Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavens in Christ. For he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in love before him. He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ for himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace that he lavished on us in the Beloved One. ”Ephesians 1:3-6 CSBLet us confess our sins to Almighty God:“Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against You this day, in thought, word, and deed; by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved You with our whole hearts; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent. For the sake of Your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us, that we may delight in Your will, and walk in Your ways, to the glory of Your Name. Grant to Your people pardon and peace, that in Your great mercy, we may be forgiven all our sins, and serve You with a quiet and contrite heart. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.”(Book of Common Prayer)This is what the Word of God says:“If we say we do not bear the guilt of sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness.”1 John 1:8-9 NETNow let us ask the Lord to help us in the reading of a chapter His Word:“Almighty God, I earnestly ask you for such deeper fellowship of the Holy Spirit, who speaks in the blessed Scriptures, that when I open them, I may perceive his mind in what I read, and immediately hear in them his voice to myself. I ask you for a quicker understanding in spiritual things, for more desire to understand, a fuller perception of your promise in the church, that I may become teachable, and may love that by which you will teach me. Amen.” Henry WotherspoonLet us listen together to this portion from God’s Word:Psalm 46To the choirmaster. Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. A Song.[1] God is our refuge and strength,a very present help in trouble.[2] Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way,though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,[3] though its waters roar and foam,though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah[4] There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,the holy habitation of the Most High.[5] God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;God will help her when morning dawns.[6] The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;he utters his voice, the earth melts.[7] The LORD of hosts is with us;the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah[8] Come, behold the works of the LORD,how he has brought desolations on the earth.[9] He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;he burns the chariots with fire.[10] “Be still, and know that I am God.I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth!”[11] The LORD of hosts is with us;the God of Jacob is our fortress. SelahThis is the Word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.Continuing in our prayers for the day:“O Lord,who is as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land,who beholds your weak creatures,weary of labor,weary of pleasure,weary of hope deferred,weary of self,in your abundant compassion and unutterable tenderness,bring us, we ask you, unto your rest.”Christina RossettiIntercession“Watch thou, dear Lord,with those who wake and watch or weep tonight,and give thine angels charge over those who sleep.Tend thy sick ones, O Lord Christ;rest thy weary ones;bless thy dying ones;soothe thy suffering ones;shield thy joyous ones;and all for thy Love’s sake.”ST. AUGUSTINEExamen:Here, as we nestle into the presence of the Lord, let us reflect on our day. When were we most aware of the blessing and love of God? When were we least aware of the blessing, love, and presence of God?Lord, we offer the times of consolation and desolation alike to You. Thank You that you are with us, actively blessing, loving, and watching over us, when we feel it most and when we feel farthest away. Help us to abide in awareness and trust in Your love. Amen.Let us also pray specifically for government leaders:O Most High God,King of kings and Lord of lords,Who rules the kingdom of humanity and gives it to whom You will:All Your works are right and Your ways just;The hearts of the greatest in power and wealth are like streams of water You turn where You wish;In Your great mercy and steadfast love,Guide and direct our governing authoritiesSo that we may lead peaceful and quiet lives,Godly and dignified in every way;Draw our leaders always nearer to Yourself,That they might do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before You,Until Your kingdom comes in fullness, on earth as it is in heaven,In the mighty name of Jesus.Amen.Please join me in praying after the pattern the Lord Jesus taught His disciples, saying:“Our Father who art in heaven,Hallowed be thy name.Thy kingdom come,Thy will be done,On earth as it is in heaven.Give us this day our daily bread;And forgive us our debts,As we also have forgiven our debtors;And lead us not into temptation,But deliver us from evil.”Matthew 6:9-13 RSVFor Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever.Amen.(Final phrase present in some manuscripts but not all; in the marginal note for RSV.)In conclusion:“Lighten our darkness, we beseech Thee, O Lord, and by Thy great mercy, defend us from all perils and dangers of this night, for the love of Thine only Son our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.”“Collect for Aid Against Perils,” Book of Common Prayer“And, after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”1 Peter 5:10 NETFor Those Who Wish to Go Deeper in Today’s Passage:The next step is to read or listen to the passage prayerfully, with an attentive, listening heart, at least 3 times. Reading from multiple translations may be helpful. Do read at least once in your heart language, if that is not English. Let it steep in your soul like tea leaves or ground coffee, until it begins to flavor your heart and mind.Next, still in an attitude of prayer, bring the 5 W’s and H into your observation. Ask and answer who, what, when, where, why, and how questions from the text. If the answer isn’t in the text, you might make a note of the question for later in the process. Read it like a note from your first childhood crush. Slow down and really notice as many details as you can. See if you can record 25 observations. If that seems easy, try 25 more. Keep going until you get stuck. Then try again tomorrow. I still notice new details after 38+ years of daily Bible reading.Here are a few specific suggested questions to help you begin:Who wrote this Psalm?Is it an “I” or a “we” praying?What names of God are used in this Psalm?What promises are given?What commands are stated?Under what conditions (when) does the Psalm say, “We do not fear”?Hint: When you see “therefore,” look at what came before to see what it’s there fore.Where does this Psalm say God dwells?How does the Psalm complete this sentence: “God is ____________”?List all references to water.Do you see any other repeated words or phrases? If so, write them down.God is our refuge and strength,a very present help in trouble.The LORD of hosts is with us;the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah(Psalm 46:1, 11, ESV)Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! If you know someone who needs this post, please share.Courage, dear hearts. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places….”‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭1‬:‭3‬ ‭ESV‬‬Contentment—how impoverished a wordTo express the riches shed abroad through Christ!“Contentment” hints that meager is the gift,But “meager” does not suit eternal life.In grace and fullness, far beyond my inklings—Thus El Shaddai supplies my every need.‘Tis not contentment, O my soul, thou lackest,But heart to comprehend His love to thee. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

When adversity carves you open,Empties out the flesh and fruitfulnessOf life before the knife;Gouges gaping, jagged woundsToo severe to scar—That emptiness carves room for graceAnd otherworldly lightTo shine salvation into woundsOf this dark, frightful night world.Life beyond the knifeIs not extinguished,But aflameWith glory.For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.2 Corinthians 4:6-7, NIV1984 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Note: Rabboni is the Aramaic word for “my master” or “my teacher.” It appears in John 20:16 when Mary meets the risen Christ.Broken, Rabboni?The brightness of this alabaster dreamShattered into fragments at Your feet?What preciousness deserves so great a price?This is My body, crushed to give for you.Emptied, too?Not one sweet drop remaining for myself?Bereft of fragrance brightening my days?What gain can justify such costly waste?This is My blood, poured out for your forgiveness.Broken, emptied.Shattered into fragments at His feet.Not one drop spared, the fragrance fills the house.The poverty of all my all is dustBeneath Your feet, O worthy, precious Lord.Your sins have been forgiven; go in peace.That was “The Anointing,” by Christina Moore.As a bonus, Moose Tracks and I also have a little book review for you today.Charlie Can’t Sleep ReviewIn the new picture book Charlie Can’t Sleep: Trusting God When You’re Afraid of the Dark (IVP Kids, 2025),* Rachel Joy Welcher tells a gentle bedtime story about a boy whose worries make sleep scary and difficult for him. After he tries a variety of procrastination tactics, his parents talk with him compassionately about why he doesn’t want to go to sleep. They take his concerns seriously, not scolding or shaming him, and point him to the Lord’s protection as depicted in Psalm 121.I appreciate the kind and gentle way the parents looked past the reluctance to obey to the possible reasons behind it. Charlie isn’t trying to be naughty, and they see that. It would be easy for tired parents to react in irritation, and these parents rise above that.Breezy Brookshire’s illustrations in a bright pastel palette are peacefully cheery. They remind me of the book I Love You, Stinkyface and the animated film Monsters, Inc. Bonus points for the evocative illustrations of the family dog :)All in all, this book provides a gentle reminder to children and their grownups that we can sleep in peace, knowing that God is awake and watching over us. All our worries are safe in His hands.The concluding author’s note describes the book as well as I possibly could:“The beautiful truth that God never sleeps, never grows weary, and never leaves us revolutionized my relationship with God, showing me that I could pray to him at any time. And it was because of Psalm 121 that I started praying in the middle of the night.“This book is a reminder for all of us—children and adults—that we are never alone. God is accessible and near at all times, even when we are overwhelmed with fear, or experiencing the anxiety of life during those quiet, early morning hours, when we wish we could fall back asleep. In this story, Charlie’s realization that God never sleeps teaches us an important truth: that God is everywhere—all at once, at all times—that his love for us is tireless, and that his presence is constant.”*affiliate link This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

The shelter of the wings of God has long been one of my favorite comforting metaphors in Scripture. We even named our current home, purchased in a time of grief and upheaval, “Wingshadow.”Mother and sometimes father birds of many kinds cover their chicks with their wings for three main reasons: warmth, protection, and bonding.As warm-blooded animals, birds depend on their feathers for temperature regulation the way that mammals depend on hair and fur. Newly hatched chicks have no feathers and so are especially vulnerable to temperature changes, especially to cold nights. Covering hatchlings with maternal wings comforts them but also keeps them warm. Numerous birds even develop something called a brooding patch for incubation. A patch of abdominal skin loses its feathers and develops a supplemental blood vessel network to maximize body heat at the surface of that skin. While many birds shed those feathers due to hormonal changes associated with incubating eggs, geese and ducks actually pull the feathers out themselves, with their own beaks, and then use the downy fluff to make a warm, soft lining for the nest.Bird parents also cover their chicks with their wings for protection. Stormy weather and temperature extremes require a shield and a shadow for baby birds. The mother and/or father also spreads its wings over the babies to guard them from predators. Nothing can harm those chicks without going through Mom or Dad.The warm shelter of the parent’s wings also signifies the loyal parental bond with the young one. The younger and more vulnerable the baby, the more time it spends under the cover of the adult’s wings. Chickens even have unique clucking calls to summon specifically their own young (I’m told). Even more mature juvenile birds take cover under the wings of their mother at night and in times of danger. This continues until they leave the nest to look for mates and start their own families.When we also need warmth, protection, and the security and comfort of parental love, we can flee to the wings of Papa God and hide ourselves in His feathers. From the English Standard Version, here is a sample of the Bible verses using this imagery:Ruth 2:12:[12] The LORD repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!”Psalm 36:7: [7] How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.Psalm 57:1: [1] Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.Psalm 61:4: [4] Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! SelahPsalm 63:7: [7] for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.Psalm 91:4: [4] He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.Please do read or listen through those again slowly, and ponder any which seem to have your name on them. You may even wish to memorize one or more if you are in a time of trouble and in need of comfort.In conclusion, consider these words of the nineteenth-century pastor Charles H. Spurgeon in his devotional Chequebook of Faith:Let this be our comfort, that almighty love will be swift to succour, and sure to cover. The wing of God is more quick and more tender than the wing of a bird, and we will put our trust under its shadow henceforth and for ever.The Father of mercies does not shame or turn away the weak, helpless, troubled, and needy. We cannot be too damaged, disabled, rejected, poor, or sinful to receive salvation by grace through trust in Jesus Christ. The God who reveals Himself in the Bible gladly welcomes anyone who flees to His wings for shelter. He is strong and loving enough for our greatest storms.Let’s pray together from Psalm 17:7-8: [7] Wondrously show your steadfast love, O Savior of those who seek refuge from their adversaries at your right hand. [8] Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.Amen. Courage, dear hearts!ResearchFor more information on brood patches and birds covering their young, here are some sources I found in working on this piece.Why do mother birds cover their babies with their wings? - BirdfulRaptor Resource Project: Bald Eagle and Bird of Prey CamsBrood Patchespubs.aina.ucalgary.caclivesphotos.weebly.comAnd a short video clip: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Summer days unspoolIn long, slow arcs ofFishing line castOver a pond;Creak like chainsOn a porch swing,Gently rocking inVeranda shade;Swish like waterOver arms and legsStroking and paddlingAround the pool;Buzz like desultory beesPlanting kisses onEvery flower inThe garden;Lengthen like shadowsIn lazy dusk,The sun itself staying outPast bedtime;Melt and caramelize,Unrushed asMarshmallowsFor s’mores;Wrap memories around ourHearts like pink candy flossWinding round a paperSpindle in the shadowOf a roller coaster,Laughter sprinklesLike fairy lightsTwinkling in the dark night.July 24, 2025 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

For TatieGo to where the wild things are,Or welcome them to youPlant a garden:Milkweed for monarchs,Sages and zinnias,Sunflowers and moonflowers forBees and hummingbirds,Holly and blackberriesFor the mockingbirds and waxwings;Watch it grow.Hang bird feeders,Seeds and suets and hummingbird syrup,More than you think you need.Place them by the windows you passMost often in your days.Raise the blinds;Part the curtains.Practice statio in your pausesTo gaze in expectant surrender,In hopeful receptivity,Asking to see His glory,Ready to see His goodness,Waiting for whatever good thingProvidence will send,Contemplating the CreatorThrough creation’s lens.Sometimes I ask for a hummingbirdAnd He sends a hummingbird mothLike a wink and a smile—Watch this!Sometimes no photos comeBut the songs of bird chorusSurround my soul with music,An orchestra tuning its praise.This too is beauty.Sometimes a little lambWho lost her momAsks for a monarchAnd a photographFor the Christmas calendarFor the month her mother died.And He sends one,When she can see itAnd drop everything to claimWith open handsThe gift He sent.Keep the camera chargedAnd ready.Embrace beautiful interruptionsTo your plans.Prepare your heart to say yes to grace.In wordless prayer of a soulWith windows open to Jerusalem,Wait and watch in hopeFor the loveliness alwaysWinging its way to you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

“What would a French glamour girl wear to stash weapons in the dead of winter besides a haute couture gown? Kat Harris wished she knew.”With that, Kristy Cambron (The Paris Dressmaker) launches the reader out of the plane into Nazi-occupied France in 1943. The rest of the dual-timeline story recounts Kat’s wartime experiences leading to that pivotal night and haute couture gown and her later attempt, in 1952 Paris, to reckon with that night and seek some degree of resolution—with a little help from Julia Child—regarding what came afterward. Kat has spent most of her life stuck in the heartaches of past loss; the reader journeys with her in discovering whether she can learn to move forward with hands outstretched into a hopeful future that is shaped but no longer shackled by the past. This novel of Allied espionage behind enemy lines serves up a rich treat as layered, coiled, and delectable as a croissant, with l’amour as the molten chocolate heart at the center of it all.In Kathryn “Kat” Harris, Cambron has created a compelling, complex strong female lead. Daughter of an auto mechanic and a French-born Boston socialite, Kat studied languages at Wellesley but is as at home bent over a car engine with a wrench or running (for fun) through the parks of Boston as she is reading French poetry and dancing in a couture gown. She also has an invisible physical disability which proves both liability and superpower.Her wartime experiences made me curious about the American spies of the mid-twentieth century. I had never before tried seriously to imagine what it would be like to be recruited to spy for the US in the days before the CIA, when secret intelligence agencies were exactly that: secret. Kat doesn’t really know she is being recruited at first, or for what. She has to draw on her intelligence, resourcefulness, and innate distrust from the moment she meets the man we might call her handler.“It is not a question of what is easy but what is right.”JuliaAfter rejection by the armed forces, Julia Child herself served in the Office of Strategic Services (OSS) in real life and in the book. She reported directly to the director, “Wild Bill” Donovan and served in Ceylon, where she met her future husband, Paul, an OSS colleague. After the Allied victory, Paul Child worked for the State Department, which brought them to Paris and introduced Julia to the other love of her life: French cuisine. So enamored was she with these new flavors and textures that she trained at the Cordon Bleu.By the time Kat meets her in this novel, Julia and two fellow graduates of the Cordon Bleu are teaching French cooking to housewives. Kat and a friend join the classes of L’École des Trois Gourmandes (The school of the three hearty eaters) in the kitchen of the Childs’ flat at 81 Rue de l’Université, affectionately known as “Rue de Loo.”“That is the best thing about French cuisine. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be exquisite.”The classic spy tropes come into play in this novel as one would expect. We have at least one mole, strict compartmentalization of information on a need-to-know basis, hidden weapons, secret messages, code names and aliases, midnight interrogation, and the paradox of one’s life depending on knowing whom to trust while not really knowing whom to trust, even one’s own husband.One person Kat does quickly learn to trust is Manon Altier, a Resistance operative seeking to wrest meaning from profound loss. Manon has a softer kind of strength, but she displays her own sort of courage as the French head chef of the kitchen at Chateau du Broutel, which has been claimed by the Nazis as their regional base in the Baie de Somme coastal area of northern France.L’AmourBoth Manon and Kat have experienced the heartbreak of love and bereavement in the past, and in different ways they both have put up their guard against letting people into the secret place of their affections again. They have learned the truth of the words of C. S. Lewis in The Four Loves: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.” Their wartime experiences invite them to choose between that vulnerability and the risk of further heartbreak and Lewis’s alternative: “Lock it [your heart] up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”When I noted earlier that l’amour, love, resides at the heart of this story, I don’t mean only romantic love. All kinds of love texture this novel: romantic love, to be sure, but also the platonic love between female friends, the love of a canine companion, the love between siblings, the love of a daughter for her father and a son for his mother, the love of making something wonderful with excellence, and the sacrificial love that would lay down its life for the beloved. The depth and breadth of love flavoring this tale kept me engaged and cheering for the characters to find their happily ever afters.Period DetailCambron has done her homework and paints a vivid picture of France during occupation and in the post-war recovery attempts. Details of mouthwatering food, mid-century fashion, place, historical figures, and the various official and secret groups operating in wartime France add depth. Fans of classic Hollywood movies will enjoy the descriptions of Dior and Givenchy styles of post-war Paris and the more utilitarian “Kitty Foyle frock” and dungarees of Kat’s pre-war preference. The attention to detail struck me as cinematic, with serious potential for adaptation as a movie or limited series.This is a fast-paced read. Because of the dual timelines and numerous code names, aliases, and groups, I recommend immersive reading such as on holiday or during a rainy long weekend. This isn’t the best book to read two pages at a time in the school pickup line or falling asleep at night; it is easier to keep track of the characters when reading in bigger chunks.Audiobook Alternately or additionally, you may enjoy the audiobook version, read by top-flight narrator Saskia Maarleveld. I enjoyed her performance and found her French and German accents convincing. One name tended to receive an American rather than French pronunciation, but that will likely pass unnoticed for most listeners. Maarleveld is an excellent and engaging reader, and I have no qualms in recommending the audio version for those who need or prefer to consume books that way or in a multisensory reading-plus-listening approach.ContentThe religious/faith references are few and not at the heart of this story. One character refers repeatedly to “Providence,” and indeed the interweaving of lives and plot seems to display the hand of God working behind the scenes, as it were, not unlike the book of Esther. Another character, at a crisis moment, recites Psalm 23 to himself, and one wedding occurs in a church.Since I don’t know the scruples or triggers of all who read this review, here are a few additional content notes so each one can follow his or her conscience. The soldiers smoke tobacco, and most of the characters drink alcohol in moderation. Wartime violence and close combat are depicted when essential to the story. The mistreatment of women by the occupation force is mentioned a few times, briefly and without vulgar or explicit content.Over all, I would classify this more as clean inspirational historical fiction than explicitly Christian historical fiction. As a movie, I would rate it PG.For Further ReadingThe French Kitchen serves up a feast of delights for fans of World War II history and clean historical fiction. Fans of Julia Child may glimpse a side of her previously unknown. Readers who enjoyed Cambron’s previous war books like The Paris Dressmaker, Kristen Harmel’s Book of Lost Names, Kristen Hannah’s The Nightingale, Ariel Lawhon’s Code Name Hélène, and Diana R. Chambers’s The Secret War of Julia Child are likely to enjoy this book as well. Cambron provides a discussion guide at the end for use in book groups, and she includes a bibliography of her own to delve deeper.For more about Julia Child and her efforts to introduce American housewives to French cooking, I suggest Child’s own memoir My Life in France and the comprehensive cookbook Mastering the Art of French Cooking. For more about women in Allied espionage, in addition to the fictional realizations already mentioned, I recommend A Woman of No Importance, Sonia Purnell’s biography of a highly decorated American spy with a physical disability, Code Name Lise by Larry Loftis, and Sarah Rose’s D-Day Girls, a captivating account of women spying for British intelligence. (Those are not written from a Christian worldview.)As one character says:“…the most important thing I was once told about French cooking is that a chef ought to choose a meal where she must be required to add copious amounts of butter. And no matter what you’d set out to make in the beginning, in the end it will turn out all right.”Kristy Cambron’s latest does include copious amounts of butter, and for this reader it turned out very well indeed. I would love a sequel in which Kat and friends pursue answers to another mystery. My thanks to NetGalley and Thomas Nelson fiction for access to an ARC of this book and early access to the audiobook for review purposes.Bon appetit!Affiliate links:https://amzn.to/4onDvoi (book)https://amzn.to/4lRrq93 (audiobook)Bookshop.org (not affiliate):https://bookshop.org/beta-search?keywords=The+French+kitchen This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Welcome, crumbles. This is our first effort here on Substack at seeking the Lord together, wherever we are in the world, through prayerful Bible reading. I’m officially calling it Bible Reading Fellowship, but you are free to keep calling it Pretend Bible Study, as I did on Instagram earlier in the pandemic.😊At the end of this post, for those who are able, I share guidance on a first beginning step (generally called observation) of studying the Bible for yourself or with your family. My hope is to lead, as gently as possible, newcomers to inductive Bible study through a process they can use and build on for the rest of their lives. Perhaps those already familiar can discover one or two new ideas and contribute to the community’s learning in the comments. It will take several BRF sessions to complete a basic overview, so please be patient with yourselves and me as we learn.For more than 38 years, I have spent time daily with God in His Word. It is not an empty or idle word; it is my life (Deuteronomy 32:47). Through God’s Word, I entered into the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. It has given comfort in trials, direction in perplexity, and hope in grief. It is living and active and penetrating (Hebrews 4:12-13). It is truth and an instrument in our sanctification (John 17:17). I long for you also to know the joy of knowing God as you abide in His Word, for to know the Triune, infinite-personal God is eternal life (John 17:3).Call to Worship:“Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those experiencing any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NETLet us confess our sins to Almighty God:“Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against You this day, in thought, word, and deed; by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved You with our whole hearts; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent. For the sake of Your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us, that we may delight in Your will, and walk in Your ways, to the glory of Your Name. Grant to Your people pardon and peace, that in Your great mercy, we may be forgiven all our sins, and serve You with a quiet and contrite heart. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.”(Book of Common Prayer)This is what the Word of God says:“If we say we do not bear the guilt of sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness.”1 John 1:8-9 NETNow let us ask the Lord to help us in the reading of a chapter His Word:Ever-speaking God,Who spoke the world into being,Who sustains it by Your all-powerful word,Who breathed out the Scripture we approach today:In coming to Your Word,We come to You Yourself.Open our eyes to behold You,Our ears to hear the Good Shepherd ‘s voice,Our hearts to love You,And our wills to follow YouAll the days of our lives,In the name of Jesus the living Word.Amen.Let us draw near to God together through this portion from His Word:Psalm 90 (English Standard Version)This is a lament psalm in three sections:· Our eternal home in God (verses 1-2)· The fragile toil of human days (verses 3-11)· A prayer that the eternal God would stamp our few days with eternity (verses 12–17)Book FourA Prayer of Moses, the man of God.[1] Lord, you have been our dwelling placein all generations.[2] Before the mountains were brought forth,or ever you had formed the earth and the world,from everlasting to everlasting you are God.[3] You return man to dustand say, “Return, O children of man!”[4] For a thousand years in your sightare but as yesterday when it is past,or as a watch in the night.[5] You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,like grass that is renewed in the morning:[6] in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;in the evening it fades and withers.[7] For we are brought to an end by your anger;by your wrath we are dismayed.[8] You have set our iniquities before you,our secret sins in the light of your presence.[9] For all our days pass away under your wrath;we bring our years to an end like a sigh.[10] The years of our life are seventy,or even by reason of strength eighty;yet their span is but toil and trouble;they are soon gone, and we fly away.[11] Who considers the power of your anger,and your wrath according to the fear of you?[12] So teach us to number our daysthat we may get a heart of wisdom.[13] Return, O LORD! How long?Have pity on your servants![14] Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.[15] Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,and for as many years as we have seen evil.[16] Let your work be shown to your servants,and your glorious power to their children.[17] Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,and establish the work of our hands upon us;yes, establish the work of our hands!This is the Word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.Continuing in our prayers for the day:“Lord, I am willing (to be made willing)To receive what you send,To do without what you withhold,To relinquish what you take,To suffer anything you inflict,To do what you command,And to be what you ask me to be,At any cost,Now and forever, amen.”(Anonymous)IntercessionMy Lord and my God,This morning I offer you my thoughts, feelings, words, and actions;My trials and my joys;My desires and my disappointments;My anxieties and my gratitude;My loved ones,My enemies,And myself,For Your glory and every good, loving design You have for us.Please take anything the enemy intends for our harm,Anything meant for evil toward us,And transform it by weaving it together for glorious good not only to us but to many.We ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.Let us also pray specifically for government leaders:O Most High God,King of kings and Lord of lords,Who rules the kingdom of humanity and gives it to whom You will:All Your works are right and Your ways just;The hearts of the greatest in power and wealth are like streams of water You turn where You wish;In Your great mercy and steadfast love,Guide and direct our governing authoritiesSo that we may lead peaceful and quiet lives,Godly and dignified in every way;Draw our leaders always nearer to Yourself,That they might do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before You,Until Your kingdom comes in fullness, on earth as it is in heaven,In the mighty name of Jesus.Amen.Please join me in praying together after the pattern the Lord Jesus taught His disciples, saying:“Our Father who art in heaven,Hallowed be thy name.Thy kingdom come,Thy will be done,On earth as it is in heaven.Give us this day our daily bread;And forgive us our debts,As we also have forgiven our debtors;And lead us not into temptation,But deliver us from evil.”Matthew 6:9-13 RSVFor Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever.Amen.(Final phrase present in some manuscripts but not all; in the marginal note for RSV.)In conclusion:“‘The Lord bless you and protect you; The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.’”Numbers 6:24-26 NETNow, friends, if that has used up your capacity for the present, hit pause or stop with no guilt, and rest in the love of God. I hope to see you again next time. Courage, dear hearts.If, on the other hand, you have a bit more capacity and are able to read without triggering symptom exacerbation or a crash, my suggested next step is to read (or listen to) Psalm 90 again for yourself at least three times more. Read in your heart language if that is not English. Read in various translations if you wish. Read in a continuing attitude of prayer and listening to God.Prayer is the preparation for time with God in His Word; it is also the heartbeat pulsing through it. Our goal is not to learn more facts but to commune with God and to know and love Him better. Praying throughout our reading and study furthers that aim.Then respond in prayer, song, journaling, repentance, obedience—as the Spirit leads— to what you notice, what He shows you, as you linger in the chapter.If you have capacity to go a step further, the next step of studying the Bible for yourself is observation. In observation, we ask and answer the question, “What does it say?” For the time being, we are not drawing inferences or conclusions. We are not theorizing about complex possibilities not clearly stated. We are carefully inspecting what the text actually says.If you are still with me, you will want something to write with and something to write on (or a recording device to capture what you see). I tend to write in a notebook and also in my Bible. Some people prefer to print or copy out the text with generous margins and write on that copy. It is up to you. My aim is to equip you with tools and also freedom to find your own style of recording and processing what you see. The main point is to spend time with the Lord in His Word and to digest thoroughly what He has actually said so that you can respond in faithful obedience and worship.One good starting point in observing a passage of Scripture is what we in English call the “5 W’s and an H.” This refers to categories of questions any piece of writing is likely to answer. The 5 W’s are who, what, when, where, and why. The H stands for how. This is not set in stone, but it is a useful, simple guide to awaken our attention.Since this is the first time we are mentioning this, I’ll walk you through some example questions you may work through as you consider the text at hand and other Bible reading you do this week.Who· Who are the author and audience of this text, if stated?· Who else does it mention? Does the author talk about any third party?What· What does the passage say about God? By what names is He called in it?· What does the passage say about people?· Since this passage is a prayer, what does the writer ask for?· What words or ideas are repeated? You might list the instances of any repeated words and notice what each repetition says about the term.· What commands are given, if any? How about warnings?· What examples, if any, are called out as good or bad?· What promises are made? To whom?· What prayers are included?· What type or genre of writing is this? Some examples are poetry, narrative, letter, prophecy, and proverb.When· When historically was this written, if stated?· When is it in the overarching story of Scripture? (If you don’t know, that’s ok! Lord willing, we can cover that in a future post.)· Are there any “time stamps” in the text, whether time of day or time on a calendar?· Are there periods of time mentioned?· Is there any sequence of events or ideas mentioned (first, second, third, finally, after, before)? If so, listing those out may be helpful.Where· Are there any places mentioned? Where are they on a map?· Where does this fall in the Bible? What book is it in? Which section and testament is it in?Why· Are there any reasons or results specifically mentioned in the text? Again, we are not making inferences here. We are noticing what is said. Words like “because” and “therefore” are context clues. “In order to” and “so that” would also point towards a why.How· Are there any words in the passage that indicate means and methods? “By,” for example, or perhaps “with”? Are there any specifically stated ways something was done?· How much? How much time, money, weight,…? How much effort?· How many? Are there any numbers mentioned?· How long?What other questions come to your mind as you study? This is just a starting point. You are welcome to add your own questions in the comments on Substack or by hitting reply if you are reading in your email inbox. The comments are also a place you crumbles can meet and interact with each other, if you are hungry for community.If you undertake real personal study of the text we’ve prayerfully read today, take all the time you need, and break it up into as many pieces as you need to pace yourself. There is no grade or test. This is a tool for you to use or not. If you find it helpful, please let me know. I will likely copy the Bible study methods notes above into an additional separate post so that we can refer to them in the future, apart from the entire prayer context.Please let me know if this proves helpful to you and if there are adjustments I can make to serve you better. Keep what helps and discard and forgive what doesn’t.In closing, I offer you the words of English preacher Charles Spurgeon, commenting on Psalm 90:We come and go, but the Lord’s work abides. We are content to die, so long as Jesus lives and his kingdom grows. Since the Lord abides forever the same, we trust our work in his hands, and feel that since it is far more his work than ours he will secure it [in] immortality. When we have withered like grass, our holy service, like gold, silver, or precious stones, will survive the fire (Treasury of David, 2:266).Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to be sure to receive future posts. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Philippians 4:8 NASB1995To what end shall I celebrate beautyWhen every morning brings talesOf wars and rumors of wars,Storms, wrecks, cancers, sudden deaths, upheavals—When “things fall apart;The centre cannot hold”?Is beauty thenNot frivolous, unserious,Prodigal?Beauty persists in witnessTo the reign of my beautiful God.This groaning, tattered, blood-stained world,Tainted in all its parts and propertiesBy sin and death,Still bears fingerprints of Glory,A hint of foretaste of new creation coming,A faded echo of the “It is good”Before the “Cursed is the groundBecause of you.”Beauty persists in resistance,Not ignorance or denial, butA lamp lit to defy the dark,A cellist in Sarajevo’s rubble,A nightingale in a white night,A monarch for a memorial day,A refugee danseur pouring pain into pirouettes.Beauty persists like Frodo’s star-glass,A light when all other lights go out,A weapon in the fight for joy,A wordless declaration that sorrow and sufferingAre not the final word,That serpent’s venom spent itselfOn Savior’s heel—Our adversary’s head now crushed—Resurrection coming,Unmaking soon to be remade.Beauty persistsBecause God made His poemsPoets—Creations in Creator’s image,We cannot but create—Whether weapons of warfareAnd engines of destruction,Or pain composted into fruitful flourishing,And heartache mended with golden hope,Help, sustenance, and comfortIn the conquering Lion-Lamb,Faithful and True.Beauty persists,A foretaste of good promisesOn their way to usAnd a testament of faithThat they are true.It tastes and sees and saysThat the Lord, He is good.Beauty leans forward in hopeful expectationOf God’s faithfulness and steadfast love.He who is comingWill come and not delay!I celebrate beautyWhen every morning seems to bring fresh misery,Because every morning brings fresh merciesAnd unfailing love.Joy persists in flashes of morning sunOn intricately woven web dazzling with dew.Spring persists in comingIn the cruelest month;Blooms burst forth from winter’s graveAnd the time of the singing of birds will come.When things fall apart,God’s centrality yet holds.His prodigality of beauty,Lifting my eyes to the unseen, eternal things,Compels me, too,To the serious celebration of beauty.The sculptures depicted are the some of the work of Seward Johnson which were exhibited at the Dallas Arboretum for Dallas Blooms 2025. Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

The sun declines in western sky. WithdrawnAre clarity of light and hue; brought on,Long shadows, foggy veils, the sacred hushOf darkling valley, far from pastures lush.The golden hour rays play hide and seek,Illuminate her face with glorious peekOf unveiled radiance. Then it flies away;The light of smiling eyes fades, vesperal gray.Sundowning steals her stories; details dim,Degrade, and recombine in moment’s whim.The twilight of unknowing steals the oneWho knew me knit together, blood and bone.In Shadowlands, I clasp my hands round hers,Here, side by side, as gathering dusk sight blurs.Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! This post is public so feel free to share it.Related posts:Your prayers for my family would be greatly appreciated as we remember the first anniversary of my mother’s Homegoing this weekend. We grieve, and we hope in the resurrection of our transformed bodies at the Lord’s return. With Mom in the presence of the Christ who dwells even now in us who know Him, she is hidden from our gaze and our embrace, but never truly lost. The closer we draw to our Lord, the nearer we are to our loved ones who have preceded us into His presence. Courage, dear hearts. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

“First of all, then, I urge that requests, prayers, intercessions, and thanks be offered on behalf of all people, even for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. Such prayer for all is good and welcomed before God our Savior, since he wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one intermediary between God and humanity, Christ Jesus, himself human, who gave himself as a ransom for all, revealing God’s purpose at his appointed time.”‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬-‭6‬ ‭NET‬‬Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts in your inbox or app.O Most High God,King of kings and Lord of lords,Who rules the kingdom of humanity and gives it to whom You will:All Your works are right and Your ways just;The hearts of the greatest in power and wealth are like streams of water You turn where You wish;In Your great mercy and steadfast love,Guide and direct our governing authoritiesSo that we may lead peaceful and quiet lives,Godly and dignified in every way;Draw our leaders always nearer to Yourself,That they might do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before You,Until Your kingdom comes in fullness, on earth as it is in heaven,In the mighty name of Jesus.Amen.Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

It’s my honor to have contributed a poem to The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal’s Spring 2025 Collection. The first two stanzas are below. To read the entire piece, please visit thewayback2ourselves.com/journal/songofthebranch. The voiceover here includes the complete poem. My apologies for any landscape-crew noises in the background.“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.”‭‭John‬ ‭15‬:‭4‬-‭9‬ ‭ESV‬‬Lord Jesus Christ, whom my soul loves,Oh, cleave my stony heart in twainThat I may cleave the more to you.Your Word-Sword having severed meFrom native barren brambly thorns—Engraft me to yourself, my woundsTo yours, bound, bandaged, sealed, that IMay dwell in you and you in me.(My love is mine, and I am his.)Hidden with you in God, I dwell.Your love enlivens me, restoresSlakes thirst without satietyOr surfeit, O beloved Lord.You only satisfy my heart,Yet, tasting living water killsMy appetite for wells and cisterns.For you and your Word, my soul yearns.To continue reading, please visit the publication site here or listen to me read the prayer poem to you at the player above. You may also enjoy browsing the other creative work selected for this edition. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior.Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.Psalm 27:7-10 NIVLoneliness—Since Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, it has haunted humanity. That sin separated us from God, each other, and even in a sense from ourselves. Loneliness so stalks our lives that it can find us in a crowd or at home alone. It can find us in the arms of our best beloved and cradling our firstborn children. It finds the single and the married. It finds us at work and at leisure. It finds us in youth and old age. It is a universal form of suffering. Bereavement is lonely; really any sort of emotional or physical pain is.Chronic illness is lonely: no other person truly knows the experience of it, and it frequently removes us from our family and friends. Especially now, when opportunities for online discipleship, fellowship, worship, work, and study are being scaled back or discontinued, many medically vulnerable people are feeling left behind and lonely. Alienated. Exiles. Chronic and prolonged illness even alienates us from ourselves in the way it severs us from the “before” self so different from the one in the mirror and lying in the bed. There is a particular loneliness for the me I used to be, the me I still am sometimes in my dreams; it is a wistful ache, but the only way out of it is to forget the “before” self altogether. That would be poor comfort indeed.In addition, loneliness often marks vocational ministry and missions. The leadership position can pose challenges to vulnerable, close relationships with the very people and church being cared for. Sometimes fellowship is found with other leaders or lay Christians outside the church congregation; sometimes the leader is physically present and immersed in the ministry community but emotionally distant for self-protection.Those are only a few examples; really, loneliness is an equal-opportunity affliction. It can strike any sort of person at any time of life and any hour of the day. Loneliness can find us at high noon or at five on Friday afternoon, but I suggest that three in the morning is the loneliest hour of the day.The SettingThis is the fourth essay in our series reflecting on Psalm 27. In this Psalm, God through David has given us a prayer-song for when we are afraid of the dark: whatever kind of dark, literal darkness or emotional and spiritual darkness. David seeks shelter in God’s personal presence with confidence borne out of His past rescues, and so can we.In the first post, we consider the themes and structure of the prayer as a whole. In the second post, we reflect on the first section of three verses. In it David describes his experience of God’s saving defense. In the third post we consider the second section (vv. 4-6), in which David expresses his expectant desire for God’s sheltering presence, his “one thing”: to dwell with and behold his God.Since communion with God was David’s “one thing,” the loss of fellowship with Him is David’s greatest fear, even more than family tragedy or military defeat. In the third section we’re examining today (7-10), David takes his fear (or experience) of rejection to the Lord and pleads for God’s continued presence. The very deepest sort of loneliness, I believe, is our existential loneliness for the God who made and sustains us. A deep cavern of loneliness in our inmost being is so shaped that only the Triune God can fill it. The SearchHere the psalm takes a turn from talking about God (third person, for the English majors out there) to talking to God directly (second person); he changes from “he” language to “you” language. We might also notice that pleading, vulnerable prayer requests pour out in a rush of words and intense emotion:*       Hear me*       Be merciful to me*       Answer me*       Don’t hide Your face from me*       Don’t push me away*       Don’t reject me*       Don’t forsake me Psychologist and author Dr. Curt Thompson has said in his books and podcasts that “we are all born looking for someone looking for us” and that there is a universal human need to be “seen, soothed, safe, and secure.” Those are the desires and needs I see David taking to God in these verses. “I’m seeking Your face, Lord; will You meet my gaze? Are you looking back at me? Please don’t turn away.” David looks back at God’s past help and begs Him not to reject him now. The tone struck by the urgent pleas brings to my mind a child clinging to a beloved parent’s leg in separation anxiety, or a wife begging her husband to stay (or vice versa). David is searching for God, and his greatest fear seems to be that God will not let Himself be found in the moment of deepest need. In Scripture, the face of God often symbolizes the favor of God. In the battles and attacks David is suffering while writing this Psalm (see the earlier verses and posts), what he mosts desires is God’s favor, represented in God’s face turned toward him and not hidden from him.The SolaceAfter pouring all this out before the Lord, David remembers. He remembers God’s faithful help and says, to God and himself, that—even if the people most bound by love and duty to care for him should reject and abandon him—the Lord will always receive him.We all fail the people we love most. Whether through intentional sin, personality and value differences, or simply the limitations of being human, we all fall short of satisfying our closest dear ones’ innermost needs. Finite humanity cannot fill a God-shaped void. David, the author of this Psalm, experienced murderous rage from his king and mentor, betrayal by servants and sons, and the involuntary “abandonment” of  bereavement. In 1 Samuel 30, we read how even his own warriors turned against him and talked of stoning him. Despite all that, David declares his confidence in God’s glad welcome, even if every other person should turn away and turn against him.As Charles Spurgeon reminded us, “‘But I am so lonely in the world,’ says another, ‘no man cares for me.’ There is one man at any rate who does so care; a true man like yourself. He is your brother still, and does not forget the lonely spirit" (Charles H. Spurgeon, Joy to the World). The Triune God is always with us and dwells in believers, not through any merit of our own, but because of the life and work of Christ. He has not left us as orphans (John 14:18). He never, never, never leaves or forsakes His people (Hebrews 13:5).So What? ApplicationHow are we to respond to these things?Pray. Make these words your own. Pray them aloud or in your heart. Use them to turn the gaze of your heart back toward the Lord.Seek God’s face. He is looking for you. Will you meet His eyes? “Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always” (Psalms 105:4 NIV). The people we love and earthly things we look to for our identity will always disappoint us eventually. Only the Lord can fully satisfy the lonely places of our hearts. Only our identity as the Lord’s children will never be stripped from us.Trust His readiness to be found. "Jesus willingly looked at the back of God’s head so that we would never look at anything but his face. So, today, when you envision God with the eyes of your heart, envision his face, because if you are his child it is the only thing you are ever going to see" (Paul David Tripp, A Shelter in the Time of Storm).Lean on His faithfulness. When people abandon you and betray you or simply let you down because of human limitations and not moral fault, take the loneliness, rejection, and disappointment to the Lord.  Offer them to Him, and yourself with them. Jesus was forsaken by the Father on the cross so that His children never would be. When God seems hidden from us, we can take Him at His word as David does here. We can confess with our mouths even if we don’t feel it emotionally: “the Lord will receive me.” This is how we encourage ourselves in the Lord: we keep telling ourselves the truth, building new default mental patterns according to truth, until the day eventually comes when we feel the reality of it again.Loneliness can be such a dark emotion. It can certainly contribute to our souls’ white nights. Thanks be to God that Christian believers are not without solace in our loneliness. Even if Jesus doesn’t take away the loneliness altogether, He will come into it with us. Even if He doesn’t immediately turn on the lights to dispel our emotional or spiritual darkness, He will hold our hands through the dark night of the soul (and always).Christ’s heart for us means that he will be our never-failing friend no matter what friends we do or do not enjoy on earth. He offers us a friendship that gets underneath the pain of our loneliness. While that pain does not go away, its sting is made fully bearable by the far deeper friendship of Jesus. He walks with us through every moment. He knows the pain of being betrayed by a friend, but he will never betray us. He will not even so much as coolly welcome us. That is not who he is. That is not his heart (Dane Ortlund, Gentle and Lowly).Please pray with me, using the words of missionary Amy Carmichael:Lover Divine, whose love has sought and found me,Thou dost not leave me when the night is round me;Cause me to be, held fast by Love eternal,More than a conqueror. Open mine eyes to see the stars above me,Quicken my heart that I may feel Thee love me,Make me, and keep me through Thy love eternal,More than a conqueror. What storm can shatter, gloom of darkness frightenOne whom the Lord doth shelter, cherish, lighten?O let me be, through powers of love eternal,More than a conqueror (Rose from Brier, 138).In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I ask this. Amen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

One thing I ask from the Lord,this only do I seek:that I may dwell in the house of the Lordall the days of my life,to gaze on the beauty of the Lordand to seek him in his temple.For in the day of troublehe will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tentand set me high upon a rock.Then my head will be exaltedabove the enemies who surround me;at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;I will sing and make music to the Lord.Psalm 27:4-6, NIVOur dawn sky todayWhat is your “one thing?” If the Lord told you, as He did Solomon, that he would give you any one thing you asked, what one thing would you seek? Health, family, financial security? Success, influence, popularity? Wisdom, advanced degrees, expertise? Marriage, children, reconciliation, forgiveness?In Psalm 27:4 and elsewhere, David—the man after God’s own heart—says that his “one thing” is to dwell with God, to behold Him face to face.This is the third essay in our series reflecting on Psalm 27. In this psalm, God through David has given us a prayer-song for when we are afraid of the dark: whatever kind of dark, literal darkness or emotional and spiritual darkness. David seeks shelter in God’s personal presence with confidence borne out of His past rescues, and so can we. In the first post, we considered the themes and structure of the prayer as a whole. In the second post, we reflected on the first section of three verses. In that first section (27:1-3), David describes his experience of God’s saving defense. In this post we are looking at the second section (vv. 4-6), in which David expresses his expectant desire for God’s sheltering presence.In David’s time, the tabernacle had already passed into cultural memory. Only the ark of the covenant, which was the gold-covered chest holding the tablets of the law God gave to Moses, remained. It had been captured by the Philistines before David’s time but was returned in David's lifetime to Jerusalem, God’s chosen city for the Hebrews to worship Him. It was housed in a tent, but not the beautiful, God-designed tent of meeting from Moses’ time. The temple, however, had not yet been built. David lived between the tabernacle of the past and the temple yet to come.David desperately wanted to build a glorious house for the ark representing God’s presence; it would be the one designated place for ritual sacrifices to occur. When he told his desire, however, the Lord told him that David was not to build Him a house, but instead, God would build David a house. A dynastic house. And David’s son Solomon would in fact be the one to build a house for the worship of Yahweh, the God of Israel. We call this promise the Davidic covenant; in it, God promised that David’s descendants would be the rightful rulers of Israel. (This conversation can be read in 2 Samuel 7.)Since David could not do what he wanted, he did what he could. He dedicated the spoils of his battles to the splendor of the temple to come.  Moreover, David told Solomon in 1 Chronicles 28:19 that the plans he was giving his son had been revealed to David by God Himself. To some extent, in some spiritual sense, David glimpsed what the temple would be, though it was not build during his lifetime. He even wrote a prayer-song for its dedication, as the epigraph of Psalm 30 notes.In the above verses from Psalm 27, David freely uses a variety of terms for God’s dwelling: house of the Lord, temple, dwelling, shelter, and sacred tent (or tabernacle). The common connection among them all is the God who dwells there. More than anything in the world—and  David had wealth, power, influence, celebrity, and success—David wanted to dwell with God. In God’s presence, he finds beauty, shelter, victory, worship, and joy.With Him, every wilderness was a castle, a paradise; without Him, every castle was a wilderness.The New Testament reveals that Jesus is the true tabernacle and temple (John 1:14; 4:21-24; Hebrews 8:1-2, 5; 9:8, 11, 21, 23-28; 10:19-25). Jesus is for all time the presence of God in human flesh. He is the dwelling place of God.Revelation indicates that all the tabernacles and temples of the past pointed forward to the new creation on the way to us, when the dwelling of God will be with men in the fullest possible way: “And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, ‘Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He shall dwell [tabernacle] among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself shall be among them, and He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes,; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passe away’” (Revelation 21:3-4, NASB1995). In that age there will be no more temple, “for the Lord God, the Almighty, and the Lamb, are its temple” (Rev. 21:22, NASB 1995).Do you remember from the first essay in this series that I said, when I am afraid of the dark, when I am in a three-o’clock season of the soul, the two things I want most are a light and a person. Last time we focused on the light God gives. This time David points our attention back to a person, the person of the Triune God.David’s “one thing” to dwell in God’s presence and gaze on His loveliness is the birthright of all who have been born again into God’s family by grace through faith. John’s gospel, in particular, emphasizes that the believer dwells or abides in God, and God abides in Him. We who believe in Jesus are never separated from God’s presence. He is nearer than our next breath. He is intimately acquainted with all our ways. He never leaves us alone in the darkness, and the darkness is not even dark to Him (Psalm 139).He is not repelled by our sorrow, brokenness, and sin. No matter what we are going through right now, we are never “too much” for the Lord Jesus. In fact, the Puritan preacher Samuel Rutherford wrote from his imprisonment for the gospel, “There is no sweeter fellowship with Christ than to bring our wounds and our sores to him” (The Loveliness of Christ, Kindle location 130). The young Scottish pastor Robert Murray M’Cheyne advised, “Learn much of the Lord Jesus. For every look at yourself, take ten looks at Christ. He is altogether lovely. Such infinite majesty, and yet such meekness and grace, and all for sinners, even the chief! Live much in the smiles of God. Bask in his beams” (Memoir and Remains of Robert Murray M’Cheyne, 293). His love enlightens our darkness. His presence comforts our loneliness. Should we lose all lesser “one things” as Job did, should we even lose our earthly lives, we have enough and more in Christ Jesus. Any other thing we place on the throne of our lives will eventually disappoint, but Jesus never will. His love is better than health, wealth, power, or fame. His presence is better than family, earthly friendship, marriage, or children. “His love hath neither brim nor bottom. Go where ye will, your soul shall not sleep sound but in Christ’s bosom. I find that our wants qualify us for Christ” (Samuel Rutherford, The Loveliness of Christ, Kindle location 177).Even when we feel our lives have hit rock-bottom, we have not found the bottom of His mercies, grace, love, and kindness. His love is deeper than our deepest needs and wounds. His love is stronger than whatever holds us in bondage. His love is greater than all we lack or lose.Is this finding you in a season of darkness, beloved? Take your wants and your wounds to Jesus. Let His smile shine into your darkness. Lean into His presence by faith, if you cannot by feeling. If you can’t say with David that the Lord is your one thing, let’s ask together that it may be so.Please pray with me.“Grant, most sweet and loving Jesus, that I may seek my repose in You above every creature; above all health and beauty; above every honor and glory; every power and dignity; above all knowledge and cleverness, all riches and arts, all joy and gladness; above all things visible and invisible; and may I seek my repose in You above everything that is not You, my God. You alone are most beautiful and loving, You alone are most noble and glorious above all things. In You is every perfection that has been or ever will be. Therefore, whatever You give me besides Yourself, whatever You reveal to me concerning Yourself, and whatever You promise, is too small and insufficient if I do not see and fully enjoy You alone. For my heart cannot rest or be fully content until, rising above all gifts and every created thing, it rests in You” (Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ).I ask these things in the name of Christ Jesus our light and our love. Amen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

                Of David.“The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.Psalm 27:1-3 NIVIn Psalm 27, God through David has given us a prayer-song for when we are afraid of the dark—whatever kind of dark, whether literal darkness or emotional and spiritual darkness. In this Psalm, David seeks shelter in God’s personal presence with confidence borne out of His past rescues. In the first post, we considered the themes and structure of the Psalm as a whole. In this post, we’re dwelling on the first section of three verses.In this first section (27:1-3), David describes his experience of God’s saving defense. The Psalm begins with a pair of parallel couplets: David says something true of God, then asks a rhetorical question brimming with confidence. And he does this twice.He has known the Lord as his light, his salvation, his stronghold, and his defense.Light at night gives us guidance and security. City girls like me are rather insulated against real darkness, apart from a blackout during a storm, but we might think of a flashlight when there is no power or a nightlight in a dark bedroom for comfort and vision. Or perhaps we think of the comforting familiarity of the lights given by God to mark the days and seasons, the constellations and moonlight that guided and kept David company during the long nights with his flocks.Without light at night, we so easily lose our way. In college, I had to drive down a dark, two-lane country road to go to an evening Bible study. Looking for an unlit gate and driveway in the absence of streetlights or even house lights visible from the highway always gave me anxiety. The void of a dark world beyond the small puddle of light from my headlamps felt ominous and insecure. I wanted brighter, better light to lead me to my destination. Continuing the theme, we might think of the pillar of God’s glory-fire which led and also guarded the Israelites during their wilderness wanderings for 40 years:“The Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to lead them on their way during the day and in a pillar of fire to give them light at night, so that they could travel day or night. The pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night never left its place in front of the people.”Exodus 13:21-22 CSBThat light showed God’s people God’s way and provided a visible reminder of the security of God’s presence. God also displayed His presence in a bright shekinah glory cloud descending on Solomon’s temple at its dedication:“When the priests came out of the holy place, the cloud filled the Lord’s temple, and because of the cloud, the priests were not able to continue ministering, for the glory of the Lord filled the temple.”1 Kings 8:10-11 CSBIn these two examples, the presence of God manifests as light, glorious light. In the new Jerusalem to come, the apostle John foresaw:“The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, because the glory of God illuminates it, and its lamp is the Lamb. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it. Its gates will never close by day because it will never be night there.”Revelation 21:23-25 CSBThe Lord is not only David’s light: He is also his salvation. Salvation, in its simplest sense, means rescue. In Hebrew, it could also be translated “room to breathe” (Thomas Nelson Study Bible, note on Psalm 3:8). “Light” and “salvation” in combination convey the single concept of “saving light.” The most intense darkness I remember was the darkness outside our tent on a camping trip early in our marriage. My mini Maglite flashlight could not budge the weighed blanket of darkness pressing in on me. Darkness like that feels alive and threatening, even predatory. Every noise is freighted with awful possibility and unseen dangers.  In that darkness, a trusted person bearing a stronger light would have felt like rescue and security.  (The related names Joshua and Jesus mean “Yahweh saves,” or in the simplest sense, “Savior.”) It is possible that the salvation in this verse has a near-term meaning of God’s miraculous rescue from human enemies and physical danger, of which David knew plenty; at the same time, it is possible that the shadow of the cross marks this verse with the spiritual sense of rescue from sin and death in the person of the Savior, Jesus Christ. In any case, David celebrates God as his Rescuer, even though in the moment he is surrounded by enemies who want to eat him alive (verse 2).The word “stronghold”  or “refuge” conveys the image of a fortress or castle. Tolkien fans may think of Helm’s Deep; or in a more modern image, one might imagine a nuclear bunker deep beneath the earth or a panic room. This fortress is such a sure and well-defended one that the wicked advancing against David will themselves be defeated. David has confidence because God is his impenetrable fortress, a castle no enemy can breach without His permission.Where does this confidence come from? Surrounded by enemies, threatened by the wicked, war declared against him, even so David is confident in victory. David can take courage despite overwhelming foes and difficulties because, as strong and powerful as they are, his God is even mightier. This confidence does not imply that trusting God means health, wealth, and prosperity. Nor does it guarantee every battle will go our way or no hurt come to us. It does, however, mean that for the child of God, all things weave together for our good and God’s glory. It means God is with us and for us in all things. It means that, when the last page of our life is written, all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well (Julian of Norwich).As a whole, David testifies that God is his light in the darkness, his comforting Guide, his Rescuer, his secure fortress, his unconquerable defense. This first section of Psalm 27 starts and ends with David’s declaration of trust: even if an entire army has him surrounded and declares war, his heart will not fear but will instead be confident. So strong is his experience of God’s protection.An echo of David’s confidence sounds a millennium later at the end of Romans 8:“What, then, are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He did not even spare his own Son but gave him up for us all. How will he not also with him grant us everything? Who can bring an accusation against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies. Who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is the one who died, but even more, has been raised; he also is at the right hand of God and intercedes for us. Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: Because of you we are being put to death all day long; we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”Romans 8:31-37 CSBWhat about you? Can you remember a time in your life when the Lord showed Himself to be your light and your salvation? Have you experienced God’s rescue from enemies who were too strong for you? If so, spend some time remembering and perhaps journaling God’s work in your past as a way to encourage trust in Him now. If not, I encourage you to borrow courage from the experiences of people in the Bible and Christian history: people like Joseph and Joshua, David and Elijah, Daniel and Peter and Paul; people like Corrie ten Boom, Darlene Deibler Rose, John Newton, John Bunyan, Jane Grey, Ridley and Latimer, and Charles Spurgeon.Are you overwhelmed and outnumbered by enemies and battles today? Are you besieged by trials and squeezed by difficulties? Does it feel like human helpers have failed and comforts fled, leaving you alone and scared in the dark? If so, my heart is with yours. Your troubles do not mean God’s absence. He will never leave or abandon you. The battles you’ve lost and sins you’ve committed do not mean you have lost the war or forfeited God’s love. In the darkness, I encourage you to dwell on the greatness and power of God more than you contemplate the strength of your enemies and the size of your challenges. In the darkness, the stars seem brighter. Look for the light in the darkness; ask for His light. Look for the promises of God. Look at His faithfulness over the millennia of human history. Hope against hope that He will be for you what He has been for others.The God who has rescued, led, defended, and comforted in the dark nights and desperate battles of others still does so today. We can trust Him with our souls’ three o’clocks.Lord, in our darkness shine Your light.In our tribulations, be our Rescuer.When we are under attack from enemies without and fears within, be our strong refuge, our safe place.All our hope and confidence are in You. We believe; help our unbelief, in Jesus’ name. Amen.  This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Have you ever been afraid of the dark? As a child, were you afraid of monsters under the bed or ghouls in the closet? Or perhaps you are not afraid of the absence of light but of the dark night of the soul, the three-o’clock bleakness of spirit?You may know the author Lucy Maud Montgomery from her character Anne Shirley. In another series, her character Emily Starr experienced these “white nights,” as she called them, at times of loss and momentous decisions. Here is one typical description:“Woke up at three and couldn't even cry. Tears seemed as foolish as laughter—or ambition. I was quite bankrupt in hope and belief. And then I got up in the chilly grey dawn and began a new story. Don't let a three-o'clock-at-night feeling fog your soul.""Unfortunately there's a three o'clock every night," said Teddy. "At that ungodly hour I am always convinced that if you want things too much you're not likely ever to get them” (L. M. Montgomery, Emily’s Quest).F. Scott Fitzgerald used the same metaphor years later in The Crack-Up:Now the standard cure for one who is sunk is to consider those in actual destitution or physical suffering—this is an all-weather beatitude for gloom in general and fairly salutary day-time advice for everyone. But at three o’clock in the morning, a forgotten package has the same tragic importance as a death sentence, and the cure doesn’t work—and in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day.Or perhaps you have said with the late Rich Mullins, “When I wake up in the night and feel the dark/It’s so hot inside my soul, I swear there must be blisters on my heart” (“Hold Me Jesus,” from A Liturgy, A Legacy, and a Ragamuffin Band).Have you known that feeling? I suspect many, if not most, of us have in the last four years.When you are afraid of the dark, whatever kind of dark it is, what do you want? For myself, I think I want two things: a light and a person, specifically someone bigger and stronger than me. A protector. A champion.King David, ruler of Israel three millennia ago, would have been on friendly terms with the night and constellations from his youth as a shepherd. He had faced and bested the wild things that might seize the darkness to prowl and pounce on the sheep he kept. But I suspect there were many other nights alone with flock and stars, with perhaps a stone for his pillow and his harp for refreshment.David, however, also knew many, many spiritual and emotional dark nights. He faced attacks from enemies, betrayals from friends, consequences of his own lost spiritual battles, tragic sins among his children, and even a coup by his own beloved Absalom, Absalom, his son.In Psalm 27, God through David has given us a prayer-song for when we are afraid of the dark. Whatever kind of dark. In these verses, David seeks shelter in God’s personal presence with confidence borne out of His past rescues. Like me, he seems to seek God’s light and His protection.As I have prayerfully pondered this passage, I see five sections. The first four sections each begin with statements of David’s relationship with God and conclude with a declaration of trust. The final section consists of a single verse that captures David’s counsel to his own heart. In verses 1-3, David describes his experience of God’s saving defense; in verses 4-6, David describes his expectation of God’s sheltering presence; in verses 7-10, David pleads for God’s presence; and in verses 11-13, David pleads for God’s protection. Alternately, verses 1-6 describe David’s experience and expectation of God’s protection, and in verses 7-13 David pleads directly to God for His protective presence. In the concluding section, verse 14, David counsels his heart toward courage.In the coming posts, we will seek to work through these verses one section at a time and conclude by asking and answering the question of what difference this makes in our own dark nights. For the moment, I will offer you this: the sun has not abandoned us at 3AM, and it has not failed when a solar eclipse blocks its light at midday. The sun still shines and radiates heat, even when we cannot see it. The difficulty is that something has come between us temporarily and hidden it from our view. Yet it always returns and always will until that great Day when we will no more need sun or moon, for the Lord our God will be our light in the eternal nightless city.In the dark, faith waits in expectation of the light’s return. Faith holds fast to the hope that the light remains even when we cannot see it. Sometimes we grow weary of the waiting, and our faith and hope waver. Sometimes life is frightening and enemies or trials overwhelm us. In those seasons, this Psalm reminds me to remember the times the light previously shone out of darkness, both in my own life and in the lives of other people of faith, past and present. Remembering yesterday’s light sustains me in today’s darkness with hope light may return as soon as tomorrow.Will we let God’s mysterious hiddenness drive us from Him or drive us to seek His face even more? Hudson Taylor, the pioneer missionary to inland China, said this: “It does not matter how great the pressure is. What really matters is where the pressure lies—whether it comes between you and God, or whether it presses you nearer His heart.”My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”Your face, Lord, I will seek.Psalm 27:8Before the next post in this series, I suggest that you take time, if possible, to read or listen to the whole of Psalm 27 at least once. As we go on, I will provide the Bible text in shorter segments to keep it before our minds for our reflections. With the final post, I intend to provide the option to download a PDF document of the whole series in one place.Courage, dear hearts! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

All-knowing Shepherd, Guide, and Counselor,Who knows my frame intimately,Having woven me together in my mother’s womb:You know what ails me;You listen without haste or harshness to my litany of complaint;You feel all my sorrows with me, afflicted in my afflictions.In this season of distress and difficulty,Direct me to the providers You have prepared to give me aid;Give me Your peace in the pain and ambiguity;Provide all the help I need to access care;Stay with me in the wilderness of waiting,In the relief of finding answers,In the grief of learning to live with them.Teach me to know the difference between the time to advocate for myselfWith gentle, winsome persistenceAnd the time to die to overthinking and second-guessing.Let Your peaceful wisdom abide in me,For this is beyond any human wisdom I thought I possessed.Rapha-El,Heal my body if You will;Heal me heart, even though it cost the sickness of my body.Sweeten my spirit that You might bless my helpers through me.Strengthen me to hold fast to the balm of GileadAnd the hope of resurrection.Thank you for the coming redemption of my body,Through Jesus, Your Suffering Servant, in whom I pray.Amen.Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! This post is public so feel free to share it.` This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.The Thai rheumatologist looked at my husband. “Culture shock,” he said. “There’s nothing wrong with her but culture shock. Just push her through the first year or two and she’ll be fine.” At my husband’s side, I was too stunned for words. Could that really explain all the strange things happening in my body? Was it all in my head?Three years prior to that conversation, I met my Amore at a missions prayer meeting at our Bible church. We discovered we were both students at Dallas Theological Seminary preparing for missions. At school we became friends, then more than friends, bound by love of the Lord, good books, worship music, and teaching the Bible cross-culturally. When he proposed to me, we knew he was heading to the mission field soon, possibly within 6 months; we decided to marry before that so we could learn the culture and language together. Everything about our courtship, engagement, and newlywed life served that goal. We purged our belongings and only registered for the bare essentials needed to function in our apartment until we moved to Southeast Asia. In reality, our preparations took a year and a half, during which we traveled frequently, building our support teams, training church leaders at home and abroad, and visiting family we would not see for several years. We also spent dozens, maybe hundreds, of hours at coffee shops, mentoring younger friends, writing for our ministry newsletter The Rose Garden Gazette, planning Bible studies, or relaxing together. We took in as much beautiful green space and live music as we could, stockpiling memories for life on the other side of the world.One unexpected challenge was obtaining health insurance with international coverage. During our engagement I had lost 25 pounds (10 more than my doctor preferred); a prior endometriosis diagnosis had required one surgery but was well-controlled; and my blood pressure was chronically low. My diet was as healthy as we could afford, though, and I ran or walked several miles six days a week. That preexisting chronic illness brought refusals from company after company until the very last option. They accepted us, and we accelerated our preparations for our move to Bangkok for the first four or five years of the rest of our lives overseas. Meanwhile, my fingers had started turning blue when I was cold. I knew that was called Raynaud’s phenomenon, but nothing else seemed wrong, so we plowed on towards our calling and dream.In 2001, we moved to downtown Bangkok. We learned public transportation and navigated unfamiliar streets and menus. We enrolled in language school and joined a church. Culture shock brought many tears, quests for familiar foods and quiet garden spaces, long sessions alone with God and my books, and computer-gaming sessions for my husband. That was normal. What was not normal was that my fingers continued to turn blue; my hands often hurt; I ran a low fever for hours daily; my pulse raced; I couldn’t climb the stairs to the Sky Train without help. Then the vertigo began. Without warning, the room would suddenly spin like a top set in motion. That was the first symptom that really scared me.We found an internist who spoke fluent English. She drew vials and vials of blood and determined liver and inflammation markers were very elevated. Combined with my symptoms, “It might be lupus,” she said. “You need to see a rheumatologist.” The rheumatologist ran more tests and diagnosed culture shock, without explaining the persistently abnormal tests. Not satisfied, we kept returning for more tests, asking physicians stateside what to request. Hundreds of people around the world, from our church secretary to a visiting Anglican bishop, were praying for my healing. To all appearances, things were getting worse, not better.“Fibromyalgia,” the rheumatologist said with a wave of his hand. “Nothing you can do.” Research showed us the definitive symptom was specific tender points throughout the body. Which I didn’t have. We consulted a neurologist. He ruled out brain-based causes of the vertigo and echoed the first doctor, “All your symptoms look like lupus. Your labs don’t fit the textbook profile, but if it quacks like a duck….” By that time we had already reached the same conclusion and were taking steps toward returning to the United States. If it were lupus, it would be lifelong, and we would need our community for the journey. Also, Bangkok was replete with the environmental lupus triggers.My husband faced the choice of sacrificial faithfulness to our marriage covenant, to love and serve me like Jesus, or his vocational dream from long before we met. In perhaps the noblest decision of his life, he chose me. He laid down his felt calling to keep his marriage vows.That kind neurologist provided basic care until we moved back to Texas. At our first specialist appointment after returning, the day before my birthday, the new rheumatologist told me I did indeed have systemic lupus erythematosis (SLE). We began treatment with several prescription medicines, and my physical health slowly stabilized.Emotionally, however, we were broken, ashamed, and disoriented. We were the regional team leaders for our mission organization, with several other aspiring missionaries preparing to join us overseas. Our hard choice affected their futures too. The missions program we worked for had no employment opportunities for my husband in the home office, but God provided through a previous employer who created a technology position especially for him. We were grateful for that gift and also struggling to get our feet under us after this huge plot twist. We faced overwhelming grief, but family and the quiet worship of our new church home helped us through.One characteristic of autoimmune diseases, unhappily, is the flare and remission cycle. After approximately 7 years of medication-induced remission, a surgery destabilized my lupus. Out of the blue, intense chest pain leveled me. Any pressure on my sternum at all was agonizing. Breathing hurt unless I lay down on my side. For many sofa-bound months, fatigue was so debilitating that I texted my mom before and after I showered so someone would know if I passed out washing my hair.By the time my rheumatologist found a medication that helped the chest pain, other joints chimed in, one after another, like petulant children demanding attention. At our wits’ end, we sought a second opinion, and “undifferentiated inflammatory arthritis” was added to my chronic illness portfolio. The new doctor felt that joint pain had become too prominent a symptom to be attributable to lupus alone. A few more specific arthritis labels have been considered since, but that big umbrella diagnosis is enough to access care.Chronic illness has taken so much from me: health, hobbies, exercise, friendships, a church community, family time, special occasions, independence. My invisible illness has often left me feeling invisible. Most painful of all was the loss of my husband’s and my shared vocation, the only thing we wanted to do, the thing we believed God called us to do.But that’s not the whole story. Chronic illness has also given much. Rather, through chronic illness the Lord has given much.Through chronic illness, God is teaching me courage by leading me straight into my biggest fears and showing me I can survive them because the Lord is with me.Through chronic illness, God is teaching me perseverance by placing me in a difficult situation where all the emergency exits are locked. In accepting this and looking for good even here, I am learning to find peace and trust God’s goodness.Through chronic illness, God is teaching me gratitude by putting entitlement to death. No one appreciates simple pleasures like the person who endures extended periods when they are out of reach.Through chronic illness, God is teaching me the humility of saying on a daily basis, “I can’t do this. Will you help me?” In a do-more, climb-higher, run-faster world, arthritis and lupus slow me down and force me to discern what is really mine from the Lord to do.Through chronic illness, God has tenderized my heart toward the pain of others. It is easier to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice, and broken hearts seem to find safe harbor with me. My shattering has made room for the shattered stories of others, and there are so very many shattered souls who need shelter.Finally, through chronic illness, God has given me new friends and purpose through the blog my husband helped me start during those laid-flat sofa months. Chronic illness took me from one mission field and opened a new one.If you, dear reader, are facing a new medical diagnosis or waiting anxiously for one, grieve your losses when they come. They matter. Grief honors that. Chronic illnesses take much from us, but they give unexpected gifts to us too. May you face your plot twist with eyes wide open to both and courage to face them. Life will never be the same, but it can be good and beautiful again, through the providential care of God. His grace really is sufficient. May you know His power in your weakness today and always.Courage, dear hearts.Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Decluttering—Resolutions and regimens—A word for the year,Goal for the year—Plans to grow smarter, stronger,Leaner, faster, moreOrganized, simplified, efficient—If the “new year, new you” chatterClatters like cicadas in your ears—If all the motivational Twixstabook posts weigh Heavy on your chestBecause all you can do isDo the next thing,Like grabbing a trapeze barAnd watching where the next swingCarries you—When the world tells youTo try to keep upBut you’re praying not to go under—Remember:The LORD is gracious and merciful.The Savior is gentle and lowly.The Spirit is Comforter and Advocate.You aren’t late.You aren’t behind.God’s calendars are as unique as fingerprints.Joseph, Samuel, Timothy, and JeremiahBegan listening to Him in youth.Moses started over at 40,Again at 80.Abraham fathered the son of the covenant at 99.You aren’t late.This morning is the perfect time to seek God’s face.Today is the perfect day to resolve to follow Him.This present moment is the perfect opportunityTo inhale His Word,Exhale your prayers. (Go ahead;I’ll wait.)It isn’t too late to repent,Confess,Ask forgiveness,Journey back to your watchful Father.It isn’t too late to yield your whole self,Body, soul, and spirit,To your Lord and Master.It isn’t too late to trust Him,To lean all the weight of yourself and your concernsUpon His everlasting arms.It isn’t too late to receive the Son,To believe into His name,To abide in the love of the Triune God.It isn’t too late to cry out,“Abba! Father!”It isn’t too late to lament,To mourn,To receive comfort,To hope,To love.Today is a perfect day to start over.Life is not a competition.It is a pilgimage,Walking with your own beloved Shepherd,Your good Shepherd,Your great and mighty Shepherd,All the way home.You aren’t too late to cling to Him.You aren’t too late to come,Too unworthy to be lovedAnd cleansed and led and kept.Grace and mercy yap likeBorder collies dogging your stepsUntil we gather in the house of the Lord forever.Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive encouragement in your inbox or app and to support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

God of Hope, God of all comfort, God of healing:This day marks a sorrowful anniversary—So many years since the life-changing illness,Since the cancer diagnosis,Since the accident,Since the medical label that transformed every aspect of my days.It is a death without a grave,Grief without a funeral.You alone truly understand the depth of my heartacheAnd the distinct sorrow of those who love me and share my burden,Weighted by it alongside but outside me.I grieve the old me that may never return,The holistic, multifaceted cost of this illness, this disability,The choices my body makes for me,The freedoms and dreams and hope stripped away,The damage to cherished relationships,The missed celebrations and opportunities,The time redirected to medical tasks,The increased energy required for the most basic activities of daily life.I grieve the invisible, unspoken milestones,Like the last time I was healthy in my dreams,The last time I went to church or a concert or a wedding or a graduation,The last time I ran or hiked or dancedOr worked or cleaned or cooked or showeredWithout careful pacing,Or spent a day making music or curled up in a bookshop chair.I grieve the hurtful words denying or blaming me for my weakness,Society’s assessment of me as both “not enough” and “too much,”The shame and gaslighting.Come alongside me today, Abba Father,Suffering Savior,Counselor, Comforter, Advocate.Comfort the sadness;Make Your loving presence known;Guide and provide; cure if You will;Heal my heart, even if my body never recovers in the land of the living.Thank You for Your promises,Your presence,Your intimate companionship even when I am most alone.Thank You for knowing, loving, and holding me in my brokenness,Even if all others forsake me.Thank You for knowing You in the fellowship of Your suffering,For Your strength in my weakness,For the sufficiency of Your grace in my thorn.Thank You for kind words and practical help,For the foul-weather friends,For the companions in the same medical stormAnd our fellowship in these sufferings.Thank You for the hope that this same trial is actively producing for meAn exceeding, eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,that it is not wasted but generative.Thank You for Your love which conquers, redeems, and transforms this tooInto glorious good.Thank You for using this to make me more like my Savior.Thank You that nothing disables me from knowing You—Which is true and eternal life—Or from knowing Christ in the power of His resurrectionAnd the fellowship of His sufferings.Thank You for the hope of glory,For the whole, glorious, redeemed body You are preparing for meWhen resurrection comes,For the hope of no more death, no more alienation, no more tears,For the restoration of all these locust-eaten years.Thank You for the everlasting promise that You will be with me now,In pain and weakness and difficulty,In loneliness;That You will hold my hand;That underneath are the everlasting arms;That I am loved with an everlasting love.But today, Lord, I grieve.I hurt. I lament.The brokenness overwhelms.Even enduring hope must be Your gift.I believe; help my unbelief,In Jesus’ name.Amen.This prayer was originally written for Long Covid Awareness Day 2024. I have revised and re-recorded it for two different medical anniversaries I have this week. In addition, the very first Long Covid patients are approaching their 5th anniversaries with that difficult trial. It seemed a good time to share it again now, here, with the prayer that it gives words to someone who has none. If you can’t read it, please rest in my voice praying it on your behalf. The Lord knows. Courage, dear hearts. ❤️‍🩹🙏🏻 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Eternal God,Thank you for the blessings Your hand has provided us this year.We bring you the challenges You have carried us through,The wounds and disappointments we need You to heal,The ones that may never heal this side of Heaven,The lessons You’ve taught us,The lessons we’ve still failed to learn,The accomplishments You have worked for us.All of them we offer You as material for sacrifice.In all these things Your hand has been working, whether we knew it or not.In all these things Your love has been working, whether we knew it or not.You are the alpha and omega,Beginning and end,Author and finisher of our faith.You have carried us through all this year,And you already await us in the new one.You have never forsaken us and will not forsake us now.Grant us grace and strength for todayAnd tomorrowAnd all the tomorrows remaining to us until we see Your face in death or the soon return of Christ.May Your love be our rest,Your power our security,Your communion our hope.In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,Amen.31 December 2023 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

"She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins" (Matthew 1:21, NIV1984).How can it be thatAll the weight of all the promisesAnd government will restOn the wee shouldersOf this bairnIn a borrowed crib?This wrinkled, ruddy infant--Can He be the seed of the woman,the serpent-slayer;the seed of Abraham,the nations' blessing;the seed of the shepherd singer,the forever ruler?Behold the Lamb of GodIn a feed trough,The Shepherd of IsraelAdored by shepherds,The Word "without whom nothing"Made wordless flesh,The light of our shadowlandsBathed in starlight.And for what? Why did very God forsakeThe splendor of His majesty?For grace,For love,For kindness,For my salvation He appeared,For the pardon of this traitor heart,For the redemption of this rebel sinner.For the joy of my rescueThe King of kings became a ragamuffinThat I might become royalty.Son of God, Son of Mary,Swaddled Savior,Messiah in a manger,Glorious grace-giver.I believe;Help my unbelief.He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God (John 1:11-12, ESV). This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

O Sovereign King,You who see the unseen and forgotten people,Who sent Your royal angelic heraldTo the unclean, uncouth shepherds,The offscourings of society,Distant from the rites of public worship,But not from Your gaze:Proclaim Your good news of great joyTo the invisible souls on the margins of church and culture now;Invade our darkness with Your light,Our fear with Your joy,Our alienation with Your presence,Our anonymity with Your attentive delight,That we also might sound forth Your praisesAnd herald the glories You proclaim to us,So that all glory and worship might resoundTo Jesus the Savior,Virgin-born yet God-enfleshed.Holy and gracious is He.Blessed be His name.Amen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

"The Lord has done this for me. He has looked with favor in these days to take away my disgrace among the people" (Luke 1:25, HCSB).Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and receive the ebook Sehnsucht Season, which includes many other essays and poems as well as this one.An angel's good news beggars the priest's beliefAnd stops his mouth.A seed of joy, sown by an expired prayer,Takes root in his aged bride's shriveled womb,Flutters, kicks new life into dead hopes.Fruit of the promise swells, burgeons,Tautens the walls of empty longingWith outlandish hope.God sends a son called Grace*--A son for Elisabeth--Grace for her disgrace,Favor for her shame,Joy for her sorrow,But grace upon grace:Her Grace-child jumps for joy,Joy dancing in her barren places.Mute joy-leaps hail the Author of joy,And the mother of Grace meets the mother of her Lord.Grace rejoices in the comingOf the Grace-giver Himself,As near and as farAs the embrace of two unexpectedly expectant mothers(One too soon, one too late, both in good time)Rejoicing together in good newsOf the promise coming,The Sunrise from on high dawning,So near they can feel it kick. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

O God our healer,Who sweetened Mara's bitter waters with wood:Sweeten the bitterness and loneliness of illness with the cross of Christ;Console the ill with the fellowship of His sufferings and the Holy Spirit's comfort;Show forth the sufficiency of Your grace and fullness of Your power;Remind Your people to love, encourage, and pray for them;Heal the grief of missing out, especially on days of celebration;Forgive those who have added sorrow by their words and actions, intentional and accidental;Transform sickrooms and hospital beds into sanctuaries through Your presence;That the sick and their families may endure these afflictions as seeing You who are invisible,And rest in Your promises that these sufferings are, even now, working for them an overwhelming, eternal, incomparable weight of glory;In the name of Jesus,the Man of sorrows who bore our sickness and pain as well as our sin,Amen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Before me rests a package, a gift.The tag clearly reads my name,But what a gift:Wrapped in sandpaper,Encrusted with glittering bits of broken glass,Bound carefully with a bow of thorns and brambles.Who wants to open such a gift?Yet the tag reads just as clearly,“From your heavenly Father.”He is good;He does good.Will I trust Him enough to accept the abrasions, the lacerations,The wounds this gift will cost?Or will I refuse, rebel, reject?Trust Me, He says.The treasure is worth the pain,More than worth it.The momentary, light afflictionOf opening your giftIs opening to you an eternal weight of gloryAs far beyond comparison with the painAs hyperbole times hyperbole.Knowing Christ in the power of His resurrectionMeans communing with Him in suffering,Yet the knowledge gained surpasses the preciousnessOf a thousand-carat diamond,A hundred-pound pearl.He took the sharpest thorns,The roughest edges,The bloodiest brambles.Will I trust Him by receiving His gift?If there’s any other way to claim the treasure, Lord,Rewrap it in soft leather,In satin ribbon.Yet—If not,Thy will be done.Opportunities for Encouragement:~In partnership with The Voice of the Martyrs, Keith and Kristyn Getty and friends are streaming their Irish Christmas concert for free tonight, with replay available through December 31. Their music means the world to my family. It brought many hours of joy to my mother’s last days. To sign up to watch (and download the free songbook), click here:https://www.gettymusic.com/live~If you live with chronic illness and/or disability and need accessible, free Christian encouragement, you might be interested in the Diamonds Conference in January 2025. It may be the only conference produced by and for people with chronic illness. It is free to watch live, with paid All-Access passes available for asynchronous or repeated viewing. To learn more and sign up, visit this link:https://confirmsubscription.com/h/y/1FFD38F7CA8C1F78The Diamonds community also has a Discord for chat and ongoing prayer and fellowship outside of the conference. You can access that here:https://discord.com/invite/DWsRWE98Sr This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

The suffering saints cried out, "How long, O Lord?How long until You come to reign and judge?Your covenant with Abraham, is itForgotten? Grace depleted? Favor spent?"Then cried a Babe, God's answer in the flesh:The Prince of Peace who came to reign and save;The promises, so many, realizedAt last as Yahweh whispers, "I am here."Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Most merciful Father,who draws near to the brokenheartedand bandages their wounds:Who but You can heal a broken heart?Comfort Your bruised and battered children;Minister to their wounds with the intimate companionship of Emmanuel,God with us,so that they might discover treasuresin the darkness of their heartachewhich they could not have seenin the sunshine of happier days.Light of light, our Rescuer and Healer,in You we ask this.Amen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

My Psalm 136(No matter our circumstances, we always have reasons to thank the Lord.)“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good,for His loyal love endures.Give thanks to the God of gods,for His loyal love endures.Give thanks to the Lord of Lords,for His loyal love endures,to the one who performs magnificent, amazing deeds all by himself,for His loyal love endures,”[1] To the one who prepared a kingdom for His beloved,For His loyal love endures,His blessed from the foundation of the world,For His loyal love endures;Who hung the earth on its axis,For His loyal love endures;Who spoke light into darkness and life into barrenness,For His loyal love endures; Who formed the man from the dust,For His loyal love endures;And breathed life into His flesh,For His loyal love endures;Who filled and multiplied the earth,For His loyal love endures;With humanity made in His image,For His loyal love endures;Who preserved the people of promise,For His loyal love endures;Through wandering and slavery,For His loyal love endures;Through judges, kings, exiles, and prophets,For His loyal love endures; Through the Incarnation of His only-begotten,For His loyal love endures;Very God of very God,For His loyal love endures;Born of a virgin in Bethlehem,For His loyal love endures;In His perfectly obedient life,For His loyal love endures;In making the lame walk and opening blind eyes,For His loyal love endures;In His death on the cross between thieves,For His loyal love endures;Our innocent substitute laid in a tomb,For His loyal love endures;In His resurrection on the third day,For His loyal love endures;In His appearances to many witnesses,For His loyal love endures;In His ascension to the Father’s right hand,For His loyal love endures; In the descent of the SpiritFor His loyal love endures;In wind and tongues of fire,For His loyal love endures;In the filling of man and woman, young and old,For His loyal love endures;In Jew and Gentile, slave and free,For His loyal love endures;Taking the good news into all the world,For His loyal love endures;For all His faithfulness showered on us,For His loyal love endures;In all the millennia the world has endured,For His loyal love endures; Who governs the earth and the heavens,For His loyal love endures;Seedtime and harvest declaring His faithfulness,For His loyal love endures;Candy-floss sunrise and crescent moon,For His loyal love endures;Birds and butterflies migrating in season,For His loyal love endures; Christ indwelling the children of God,For His loyal love endures;His love in us and us in Him,For His loyal love endures;For the communion of the saints,For His loyal love endures;The forgiveness of sins,For His loyal love endures;The inspired, inerrant Scriptures,For His loyal love endures;The Word of God to reveal Himself,For His loyal love endures;To teach, reprove, correct, and train,For His loyal love endures;Who gave us birth by the word of truth,For His loyal love endures;The firstfruits of all His creatures,For His loyal love endures; Who gives peace in affliction,For His loyal love endures;Wisdom to the needy,For His loyal love endures;Who comforts the mourning,For His loyal love endures;Who welcomes our lament,For His loyal love endures;Who gives gifts to His people,For His loyal love endures;To His people for service,For His loyal love endures;Who weeps with the weepers,For His loyal love endures;Who intercedes for sinners,For His loyal love endures;Who conquers the grave,For His loyal love endures; Who shines resurrection hope,For His loyal love endures;Hope for His kingdom coming,For His loyal love endures;Who justly justifies the one who trusts Him,For His loyal love endures;Who spares us condemnation,For His loyal love endures;Who communicates inexpressible love,For His loyal love endures;Whose throne of grace is free to access,For His loyal love endures;For mercy and grace in time of need,For His loyal love endures;Who can do exceedingly, immeasurably more,For His loyal love endures;More than all we imagine or ask,For His loyal love endures;For His glory in Christ Jesus,For His loyal love endures; Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good,For His loyal love endures;Whose promises are sure,For His loyal love endures;Whose return approaches soon,For His loyal love endures;Who will transform us to His likeness,For His loyal love endures;When we see Him at His coming,For His loyal love endures;Who will give us resurrection bodies,For His loyal love endures;Impervious to sickness and death,For His loyal love endures;Who will usher in His new heavens and earth,For His loyal love endures;Who will put an end to sin and death,For His loyal love endures;And glorify those whose names are written,For His loyal love endures;Written in the book of life,For His loyal love endures; Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good,For His loyal love endures;Give thanks to the God of gods,For His loyal love endures;For past, present, and future,For His loyal love endures;Things present and things to come,For His loyal love endures;In heartache and in pain,For His loyal love endures;In joy and celebration,For His loyal love endures; For He is good,For His loyal love endures;For He is good,For His loyal love endures;For the Lord is good,For His loyal love endures.Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;For His loyal love endures forever.   [1] Psalms 136:1-4 NET This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

By the waters of Babylon,there we sat down and wept,when we remembered Zion (Ps. 137:1, ESV).How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me? (Psalm 13:1, ESV)Sorrow does not take holidays. Trials do not consult our convenience in scheduling or work around highlighted calendar squares. Festivals, birthdays, and anniversaries are not immune to suffering. In fact, they may intensify it through discordant contrast.Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Rejoicing is not the only appropriate emotional response to the life circumstances God assigns us. He has also given us lament as a means of reorienting our griefs in His presence as worship.In the face of catastrophe, faith does not demand that we put on a plastic smile when our hearts are breaking. God does not desire us to be false with Him. Grief is a spiritual discipline, too, and at times the only right and appropriate response.Godly grief expresses itself in the laments of Scripture. Job's speeches and Lamentations fall in this category, and individual or corporate lament is the largest subcategory of the Psalms (which fall under the broader heading of lyric poetry). Scholars estimate that at least a third of the Psalms express lament; a few examples include Psalms 13, 22, 40, 59, 74, 88, and 109.The Thomas Nelson Study Bible describes Biblical lament this way:In the lament psalms, we hear the strong, emotional words of sufferers. These are words written by real people in very difficult situations. Sometimes the forcefulness of the psalmists' complaints against God is shocking. But these godly sufferers know that God will not be angry with their honesty, for even when they scream at God, it is a scream of faith (887).These are the prayers for the sleepless nights and weary days, for the seasons when we feel like Bilbo Baggins, "too little butter spread over too much bread," for the days which seem more Romans 7 than Romans 8, for emergency shelters, hospital rooms, divorce courts, and funeral homes. The sheer multitude of laments in Scripture bears witness that hardship is a commonplace in life in a broken world, yet God desires to fellowship with us in the midst of suffering as we cry out to Him. What is more, lament Psalms offer us a guide for how to do so and give us words when we have no words.Although no strict pattern applies to every lament, common elements include* an initial cry to God,* the list of complaints,* a profession of reliance on God,* a presentation of reasons God should intervene (such as past covenants, promises, and actions that shape the psalmist's expectations of the future),* specific requests for deliverance and action, and* a resolution to praise (TNSB, 887, and Leland Ryken, How to Read the Bible as Literature, 114-115).These elements may occur in any order or repeat, and some may not appear at all. Psalm 88 never turns the corner from lament to praise, which gives me comfort and confidence that I don't even need to pretend to or force an emotional pivot point before God. Lament doesn’t need to be pretty, only to be honest and Godward.People, even those closest to us, may lose patience or turn away from our grief. Our dearest friends may not be able to understand our distresses. Only the Lord promises never to leave us or forsake us in our fiery trials. Only He truly understands (and that better than we can understand ourselves). Only He never tires of listening to our litany of complaint, sorrow, shock, betrayal, loneliness, pain, and even anger. Only He can not only listen but infuse us with strength to endure.In a mysterious transaction I cannot explain but have experienced, our unbearable sorrows become survivable and even precious as we share them with Him. The fellowship of Christ’s sufferings is real. Part of the particular blessing of the mourner comes in the preciousness of His presence in the midst of the pain. He shares our tears until the day when He will wipe them away forever. He bandages our broken hearts until the restoration of all things, when there will be no more night, no more death, no more tears, when grief becomes glory in the presence of the Lamb.When we cry to our Lord in a dry and barren wilderness where there is no water, no sustenance, He brings forth water from the rock and scatters manna like dew drops to carry us through one more moment. When He doesn’t give what we want, still we can trust Him.He can take all the ugly emotions we bring to Him. The important thing is to bring them and keep bringing them.That said, students of Scripture may observe that Israel incurs God's displeasure and discipline when they whine and complain. What's the difference between grumbling and lament?In my understanding, there are at least four areas of difference:* Audience: Grumbling speaks about God to other people; lament addresses God directly in prayer. This resembles the difference between gossip and conflict resolution.* Content: Complaint disputes God's previously revealed character; lament seeks to reconcile God's character with circumstances that seem to contradict it.* Attitude: Grumbling stems from a heart of unbelief; lament worships in wounded faith.* Result: Whining produces rebellion; lament limps forward in obedience as best it can.Amid all the disasters and crises in the daily news and the personal trials facing friends, family, and ourselves, it comforts me to know that I can pour out my heart like water before the Lord (Lamentations 2:19) and mourn with Him as well as dance for joy. Learning to lament set me free to do that, even writing my own laments based on the patterns above. I have found the Psalms of lament to be helpful guides to prayer in times of trouble. May you also find blessing in practicing and praying lament as you grow in relationship with God in the hard times as well as the glad.Recommended Resources:Leland Ryken, How to Read the Bible as LiteratureMichael Card, A Sacred SorrowMichael Card teaching on lament as worship in 7 partsMy review of Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Grief’s clocks warp, melt,Bend, Dali-esque,Stretching, shrinking,Fast slow,Hurry crawl,Rush drag,Uncertain and disorienting,Blurring, greying calendar lines.Is it already—Is it only—The ungrieved world aroundCreeps in its steady paceFrom day to day.I am flotsam, adrift,Sometimes racing along white water,Then sticking fast, heartLodged against a rockOf yearning orTree root of memory,Waiting for time to resumeIts ordered rhythm.Grief’s clocks tick imperfectly,Chime unpredictably,Time-hopping between memory and reality,Begging gentle care and patienceUntil the Master WatchmakerResets and restoresClocks and time itselfIn everlasting Day.Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

“For a child has been born to us, a son has been given to us. He shoulders responsibility and is called: Extraordinary Strategist, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”Isaiah 9:6 NET“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”Isaiah 9:6 ESVSon of Man,Brother, Savior, King:Counsel and carry out Your wondrous strategies for and through us;Show forth Your divine might as the one true living God;Father us with everlasting love, compassion, provision, and protection;And reign in our hearts with Your incomprehensible peace.Come soon, Lord Jesus,To usher in Your kingdom of shalom,Your kingdom of wholeness and peace,Your kingdom of justice and righteousness,From that blessed and glorious Day to forever.Amen.Thanks for reading crumbs from His table fellowship! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

This is the crumbs from His table fellowship. Lord willing, we will build a real haven of community in this online space for any who wish. The expanded options will be tailored especially to those isolated by chronic and prolonged illness, age, and/or caregiving. Lord willing, we will eventually have a Brave Hearts (slow reads) Book Club, Table in the Wilderness Zoom mini-retreats and fellowship time, Bible study (or at least communal Bible reading) with prayer, and active conversations in comments, chat, and threads.As much as my own health allows, I will offer an audio option for community members who find screen reading challenging. If we ever include music in a gathering or post, I will warn you so that people whose symptoms are triggered by music can stop or skip ahead in listening. If there are other adjustments I need to make along the way, please tell me that too. The goal of this space is to serve you: encouragement, discipleship, and fellowship made accessible to those who cannot access them in a local church for whatever reason. That is not in any way to minimize the value of congregational worship in the same physical space; it is rather an acknowledgement that the Lord’s own boundaries in our health and circumstances do not always allow that. We will not shame each other for absence from the local church building here. We will seek to spur one another on in love, prayer, trust, and worship.Endurance is hard. Life can get lonely, especially with illness, caregiving, and aging. Let’s cheer each other on and limp forward in the race of faith together.Courage, dear hearts.Under His wings,christina This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

““Therefore say: ‘This is what the sovereign Lord says: Although I have removed them far away among the nations and have dispersed them among the countries, I have been a little sanctuary for them among the lands where they have gone.’”‭‭Ezekiel‬ ‭11‬:‭16‬ ‭NET‬‬Beloved of God, if this Lord’s Day finds you worshipping alone or with only your household, take heart from that word of the Lord. I pray you would indeed find Him to be “a little sanctuary” in this time of isolation and exile from the house of God.In addition, I offer you these words of encouragement from 19th-century English pastor Charles Spurgeon. He struggled with the autoimmune disease gout, which regularly kept him from attending worship services in the church he pastored. His wife also suffered with chronic illness that rarely permitted her to hear her husband preach in person. These thoughts encouraged me. I pray they bring hope and comfort to your heart too.Now, notice, God says to his people, when they are far away from the temple and Jerusalem, ‘I will be to them as a little sanctuary.’ Not, ‘I have loved the people, and I will build them a synagogue, or I will lead others to build for them a meeting-place; but I myself will be to them as a little sanctuary.’ The Lord Jesus Christ himself is the true place of worship for saved souls. ‘There is no chapel in the place where I live,’ says one. I am sorry to hear it, but chapels are not absolutely essential to worship, surely. Another cries, ‘There is no place of public worship of any sort where the gospel is fully and faithfully preached.’ This is a great want, certainly, but still, do not say, ‘I am far away from a place of worship.’ That is a mistake. No godly man is far away from a holy place. What is a place of worship? I hope that our bed-chambers are constantly places of worship. Place of worship? Why, it is one's garden where he walks and meditates. A place of worship? It is the field, the barn, the street, when one has the heart to pray. God will meet us by a well, a stone, a bush, a brook, a tree. He has great range of trysting-places when men's hearts are right….Now, dear friends, God says, ‘I will be to them as a little sanctuary,’ that is to say, an accessible throne of mercy, an accessible place of mercy. When men have no mercy on you, go to God. When you have no mercy on yourself -- and sometimes you have not -- run away to God. Draw near to him, and he will be to you as a little sanctuary….If at this time you have lost many of the comforts of this life, and seem bereaved of friends, then find in God your ‘little sanctuary.’ Go home to your chamber with holy faith and humble love, and take him to be your all in all, and he will be all in all to you. Pray after this fashion -- ‘O Lord, so work in me by thy Spirit that I may find thee in all things, and all things in thee!’The Lord has ways of weaning us from the visible and the tangible, and bringing us to live upon the invisible and the real, in order to prepare us for that next stage, that better life, that higher place, where we shall really deal with eternal things only. God blows out our candles, and makes us find our light in him, to prepare us for that place in which they need no candle, for the glory of God is their light; and where, strange to tell, they have no temple, for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are the temple thereof. The holy leads to the holiest: living upon God here leads to living with God hereafter. Oh, that God would gradually lift us up above all the outward, above all the visible, and bring as more and more into the inward and unseen! If you do not know anything about this, ask the Lord to teach you this riddle; and if you do know it, ask him to keep you to the life and walk of faith, and never may you be tempted to quit it for the way of sight and feeling. For Christ's sake we ask it. Amen.”From Charles Haddon Spurgeon, “A Little Sanctuary”A Little Sanctuary accessed August 4, 2024, at 12:27 PM CDT This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

A Prayer for the One Grieving a ParentO God,Father of the fatherless,As lovingly mindful of each son and daughter as our own nursing mothers:Enfold Your bereft children in Your own ineffable, unfailing love;Console Your desolate chicks with Your sheltering wing;Guide Your lost sheep with generous wisdom;Carry the wounded and weary lambs in Your arms;Abundantly provide daily bread for Your little ones;Defend your cubs with loyal strength;Apprehend the wanderers and bring them home to Yourself;Nurture, cultivate, and celebrate every green sprout of virtue, worship, obedience, and calling;Sing Your delight as our lullaby;Establish broken hearts in the sustaining hope of restoration,Until our Homegoing or our Lord's return.Amen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Grief is the soul’s totality—Quenching color, light, song—Darkness engulfing light,Stars and planets twinkling At midday, breath stolen,Chill breeze sweeping warmth away—The light of God’s own countenance seemsExtinguished in the weeping vale.Yet, though obscured, the sun still shines,Undimmed, undamaged, undiminished.Cosmic pebble nearest pale blue dotBlocks from this dust speck’s eyesThe giant flaming star round whichRevolves the solar system.Light flees,But no sun departs;Small obstacle in close proximityHides its great and glorious distant radiance.Slithering shadow snakes snap at heels,Unenvenomed phantom enemies,No more harming sky-gazersThan moon can harm sun.This terror of great darkness,Portentous and awesome—Casting beholders facedown in dust and ashes,In confused anguish and loss,Foundations shaken—Lasts only light and momentary minutes,Measured by eternity’s rule.However endless seconds seem,They are but a blink, a breath,Now, for a little time, if needed,Until grave is swallowed up in victory.Soon, soon, and very soon,We shall always be with the Lord:No more darkness, no more death;Sorrow and sighing flee like stars At the sun’s resplendent revelation.In the darkness, we wait.In the darkness, we trust.In the darkness, we hopeIn unchanging truth:The sun shines on;God’s promises fail not;His faithfulness endures,While we see it not. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Here I am, suburban anchorite:Chronic illness my cloister,My home my hermitage,Caregiving my enclosure.My bare voice sings praise alone in my cellWith the absent-present congregants in my ears.The mockingbird leads the avian chorus;I pass the peace to the dragonfly on perched on the other side of the glass.I pass along the comfort I receiveFrom the Father of mercies.A living stone, embedded in the temple of the Body,Walled in, communion mediated by windows In my wall, on my desk, in my hand,Attached yet excluded—Invisible illness hiding me invisibly awayFrom the rest of the body—yet still part of it,Never parted from my Head, the Beloved.I am a suburban anchorite,But the burdens and bricks which anchor me hereAnchor me to Christ. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crumbsfromhistable.substack.com