20 Sum Things

In our final episode, we come back to the beginning: ourselves. Self love is one of those phrases that gets thrown around so often it starts to lose its meaning, so in this episode I try to get at what it actually is. In your 20s, that understanding becomes especially important, as you begin to question what you were taught about who you are and what you deserve. Self love isn't something you arrive at once, but an ongoing process of unlearning, healing, and showing up for yourself in more honest ways. It's the harder work of letting go of what you were told about your worth and deciding, again and again, that you are enough. This may be where 20 Sum Things ends, but hopefully it's also the beginning of something else.

What are we really here for? In this episode, I'm joined by Cervantes for an honest conversation about the search for legacy, and what it really means to live a fulfilling life in your 20s. We also explore how purpose can feel like something we're meant to have figured out, and what it means to instead let it develop over time through experience, reflection and the choices we make.

Ageing is less about getting older and more about gaining perspective. In this episode, Nadi and I reflect on growth, change, and the shifting understanding of what it means to “have it together.” In a world that often glorifies youth, we reflect on how ageing isn’t something to fear, but something to honour. From confronting mortality and milestones to redefining what “growing up” actually looks like in your 20s, this conversation is a reminder that surviving is sacred, and evolving is its own kind of triumph.

For so many of us in our 20s, pop culture didn’t just entertain us, it raised us. In this episode, Gabriel and I reflect on the movies, music, and media moments that made us who we are and helped shaped our identies. We also break down why we're so drawn to the zeitgeist, and why it matters. Why are we so invested in celebrity culture and the entertainment industry? And what do our obsessions say about us as a generation raised almost entirely online?

What does faith look like in your 20s, especially when nothing feels certain at this pivotal time? In this episode, I’m joined by Nadi as we reflect on the ways the divine shows up in our lives, often in ways we don't expect. From ancestral connections to spiritual awakenings, we talk about our evolving relationships with God, the universe, and the forces that feel bigger than us.

At some point in your 20s, the idea of having children shifts from something distant to something you actually have to consider. In this episode, Latoya and I tackle one of the biggest questions floating around our generation: do we actually want kids, or have we just been told we should? We get into why so many young adults are delaying parenthood or opting out entirely and what it means to make one of life's biggest decisions in a world obsessed with timelines.

Why does caring about the world feel so draining sometimes? In this episode, I reflect on political apathy, disillusionment, and the fatigue that comes with trying to stay engaged in a system that often feels distant or indifferent, especially in your 20s, when you're still figuring out where you stand. I also sit with the question of why so many of us feel disconnected, whether it is because the system feels rigged, irrelevant, or simply exhausting to keep up with. From the intersection of politics and culture to the ways young people are redefining what engagement looks like, this is a conversation less about having the right answers and more about understanding what it means to still care.

Hookup culture often teaches us to perform pleasure instead of actually experiencing it in our 20s. In this episode, Hugo and I talk about intimacy, consent, and the various ways our experiences can influence how we connect with others. We also explore the darker corners of our relationships with sex, including how trauma, shame, and even self-harm can show up in our most intimate moments.

Is marriage the destination or just a social expectation? In this episode, Jevene joins me to unpack the pressures that come with this particular milestone, especially in your 20s, when timelines and expectations begin to feel more real. We talk about the red flags we often ignore and what it actually means to commit to someone for the long term. Beyond the ring and the reception, this conversation is about what we owe each other and ourselves before we make a promise that big.

In this episode, Imani and I get honest about something most of us are still figuring out in our 20s, namely, how to exist in a body in a world that has too many opinions about it. We talk about body image, body dysmorphia, and the pressure to look a certain way, along with our relationship with food, exercise, and self-worth. In a culture that constantly pushes unrealistic ideals, this is an honest conversation about what it means to make peace with yourself and how to separate what you've been taught from what's actually yours.

Fame is intoxicating, terrifying, and for some people, inevitable. In this episode, Felly and I talk about the allure of being known, why so many of us in our 20s chase recognition even when we say we don't, and what's actually waiting on the other side of the spotlight. We also discuss the loneliness behind the limelight, the cost of being seen, and whether any of it is worth what it takes to get there.

Drug use has long been woven into youth culture, but in your 20s, the line between exploration, escape, and habit often starts to blur. In this episode, Tee and I get into one of the most talked about and least honestly discussed topics of our generation without the moral panic and without the sugarcoating. From casual highs to serious consequences, from personal experiences to societal perceptions, we’re unpacking the reality behind the substances that shape (and complicate) so many lives. 

Success is often presented as something clear and measurable, but it rarely feels that way in practice. In this episode, I reflect on expectations, comparison, and the pressure to meet timelines that may not even belong to you. From redefining traditional ideas of success to navigating personal goals and societal pressures in your 20s, I unpack what it truly means to 'make it', and whether or not the destination is ever as satisfying as the journey

Travel has a way of disrupting your routine and, in doing so, revealing parts of yourself you might not notice otherwise. Sometimes clarity shows up when you are no longer in the same place, so in this episode, Knas and I reflect on movement, distance, and what it means to step outside of what's familiar. From dream destinations to the kind of life-changing experiences that you can only have in transit, we unpack what it really means to explore the world in your 20s. 

The way we present ourselves is rarely just about appearance. In this episode, Felly and I talk about trends, personal style, and what it actually means to dress like yourself in a world that's constantly telling you what to wear and who to be in your 20s. We also reflect on trends, self-expression, and the process of figuring out what feels like you, even when that identity's constantly changing.

Money often determines what feels possible, what feels out of reach, and how we navigate the world. In this episode, Zoe and I talk about the pressure to keep up, the desire to enjoy life, and the reality of trying to balance both in our 20s. We also discuss budgeting, financial literacy and how to build a life you actually want without completely losing your mind or your standards.

Trauma has a way of shaping how we see ourselves and how we move through the world. As we move through our 20s, those patterns become harder to ignore. In this episode, I reflect on what it means to carry difficult experiences and how those experiences continue to show up in the present. It's not a conversation meant to resolve everything, but an invitation to process and understand all we've been through so we can find meaning in the aftermath of life’s hardest moments.

Mental health is something we learn to navigate, often without the language to fully express it. In this episode, Imani joins me for a conversation about the stigma that keeps people silent, the myths that make asking for help feel like weakness, and why therapy is not just for people in crisis. We also unpack mindfulness, what it actually means, and how paying attention to your own mind might be the most radical thing you can do in your 20s.

In this episode I open up about something most of us feel in our 20s but rarely say out loud: the fear of running out of time. The anxiety of not becoming who you're supposed to be fast enough. The pressure to make your life mean something before it all ends. It's an intimate conversation about what happens when you sit with those fears instead of running from them, and what you find when you actually do.

In our very first episode recorded back in 2021, Knas and I sit down to talk through relationships and dating, and everything that comes with it. In your 20s, dating often feels like trying to understand yourself through other people. We talk through the patterns we fall into, the versions of ourselves we perform, and the disconnect between what we say we want and what we actually choose.