All the Things We Should've Said

Your favorite assertiveness-challenged friends are back for Season 2! Here's a preview of what we have we in store.

We promised you a lighter episode after tackling the tough topic of grief and here it is! We briefly discuss how Alison has 50% more pets and 50% more kids and how we embrace the label of "try hard" before getting into Alison's fascinating deep dive into the history of recipes. As people in cranberry-growing families, we also share our favorite cranberry recipes and memories before talking about our familial bread recipes. One small disclaimer: this episode was momentarily lost in the archives, so we actually recorded this LAST fall right before Thanksgiving. Lucky for us, now is the perfect time to post it as Lisl's family bread recipe can be found in her brand-new picture book from HarperCollins, STILL THERE WAS BREAD, illustrated by David Soman. Enjoy this delicious bonus episode about all the recipes we love to share!

Brew yourself a comforting cup of tea, curl up under your favorite blanket, and settle in to discuss a tough topic: grief. It's hard to talk about, but we hope you'll join us for "The Things We Wish People Had Said to Us," in which Alison and Lisl dive into the Ring Theory to help determine how to process your own emotions during a tough time while also delivering comfort and care to those around you. This way of thinking has changed how we handle grief and we hope it changes yours, too.

Put your phone down, pull on a sweater, and prepare for those tough conversations with “Be a Thermostat," in which we talk about taking down the temperature of the room by being a good listener and what that means. (Hint: the goal of the conversation is not winning.) Alison shares some excellent research and expresses gratitude for a group of friends that make her feel like she’s always in a perfectly climate-controlled room. Lisl confesses to struggling with being a “what about-er” in a fight and the helpful tip from a friend who has taught her the power of asking a question before reacting to something that presses our buttons. We also talk about how body language and posture can affect those around you, and we come back to the power of empathy and the gift of being vulnerable with people you truly trust. We also share a public service announcement: don’t ever comment on how a parent of young kids “really has their hands full.”

Scoop up a handful of emojis and all those extraneous exclamation marks and join us for “How We Show Up,” in which Alison and Lisl talk about communication. We break down video calls, phone calls, emails and texts, and why sometimes one is better than another for specific circumstances. We share why tone of voice is important, why we appreciate phone calls, and how the next generation seems to avoid them more than we do. We also share anecdotes about tech-gone-wrong, such as the time Lisl’s Apple watch sent a rogue eyeroll emoji, and how Alison and her family sometimes communicates solely in GIFs. Our bottom line on the topic? When in doubt, just reach out!

Get ready to show up in social situations with “Take up Airtime,” in which Alison and Lisl talk about anxiety when talking to others. Never fear: you don’t need an official Social Anxiety card in your wallet to listen! We share stories of how “throwaway comments” can became embedded and cause us to become uncomfortable or nervous when meeting people for the first time and, more importantly, tips and tricks for moving past this. We also dive into the importance of finding friends who build you up and people who are compatible with your own brand of weird. Be ready to take up space and grant yourself permission to be you without layering on the sorry!

Grab a cup of coffee and join us for Brunch Or Nunch, in which Alison and Lisl discuss the joy and history of our favorite meal—brunch!—and share some assertiveness challenges and fails, including Alison’s decoy wedding cake and Lisl’s low-FODMAP diet. We touch on what it means to be a good host, the concept of “leading with no” vs. leading with confidence and gratitude, being accommodating to others when we can, and finding middle ground when we can’t. We also discuss the line between self-care and selfishness, overcoming social shyness, the fear of being seen as overly aggressive or “fussy,” and the struggle to advocate for ourselves, especially when food is involved. We wrap it all up with some helpful advice about taking baby steps toward self-advocacy, including our new motto for restaurants: “if it clucks, send it back.” Enjoy!

Welcome to All the Things We Should’ve Said! Join Alison and Lisl on the tail-end of their family vacation together as we introduce ourselves and share the roadmap for season one of our podcast, which will focus on interpersonal relationships and how we can all be a little more assertive while still being kind to ourselves and others.

Take the road less traveled on topics relating to interpersonal relationships and womanhood with Alison Carr and Lisl Detlefsen, two assertiveness-challenged friends. Join them as they share anecdotes and discuss situations in which they wish they had been better advocates for themselves while remaining authentic, empathetic, and kind to others. In addition to being a chronic over-apologizer, Alison is a cranberry farmer, avid runner, and mom to three daughters. In addition to being a major over-thinker, Lisl is a children’s book author, slightly-less-avid runner, and mom to two sons. They both have supportive, long-suffering husbands who were so tired of hearing their wives share all the things they should’ve said that they encouraged them to start this podcast. So they did! Welcome to All the Things We Should've Said!