At a Loss

Writer, poet, and filmmaker Kevin Toolis explores a way of understanding death that feels both ancient and immediate. Raised on a remote Irish island, he reflects on a culture where the dead are not hidden away, but kept close - Seen, touched, and shared in the company of the living. Woven through are later experiences reporting from warzones, where death takes on a different kind of presence. At the centre is the Irish wake, offered not just as tradition, but as a guide. A way of meeting loss without distance. What emerges moves between the philosophical and the practical, holding space for a quieter question: what changes when death is no longer something to turn away from, but something to be faced together.

When you meet Trish, what stands out isn’t heaviness — it’s energy. "The space of death is about people, he tangata, what’s more vibrant than people and the journey they are on?”. In this Episode Trish talks about developing a Death knowledge, breaking down the myths around hospice care, and why community connection matters so deeply. After nearly two decades in hospice care, her work is driven by a belief that caring for one another at the end of life is simply what we do.   A conversation about death that is, full of life.  

How to die naturally. Carol McAllum is the doctor you meet when recovery isn’t possible. She shares thoughts, wisdom and wonder in all she has learnt about life and death. Death can be messy, but it can also be natural, here’s how.

Do tell the children Sarah’s kids know Mum works with the dead. Because she tells them her work stories. In her old job nursing the dying, she told them all about that too. Sarah says, please talk to kids about death. Here she tells you how.

Would you live in a graveyard? Sheree Stout does. Her family home sits inside Auckland’s largest cemetery, where she leads a small team caring for thousands. Between running a busy crematorium, three funeral chapels, and a vast public park, Sheree is relentlessly practical, and deeply devoted to the place she lives and works in. She doesn’t see a graveyard as a place to fear, but one to understand, respect, and even love.

And not just your heart. Organ donation is a gift that can change, improve and enrich the lives of many others, after your death. But very few people donate their organs. In NZ less than 70 people a year donate their organs after death. Since 2020 the peak was 66 people donating in any one year.* Host Timothy Giles talks with  a pioneer of organ donation in NZ, Dr. Stephen Streat to demystify the process and hear some moving stories as we learn more about this too rare gift we can offer after death.   *Organ Donation NZ statistics  

Treza Gallogly is an End-of-life Doula with host Timothy Giles she shares her insights from helping people to die well. Navigate fear and emotions, to celebrate life while preparing for death.  Treza offers advice on having important conversations, with people you care about, when facing end of life, care plans as death nears and growing your courage and compassion. This episode is all about transforming anxiety into acceptance and empathy. Treza shares how supporting your loved ones in their final journey brings meaning and healing and guides along the way. Find more at ataloss.nz

Meet Katrina King, the general manager of the Grief Centre, Australasia. "At A Loss," host and funeral celebrant Timothy Giles talks with Katrina about supporting people through grief. Exploring ways of creating safety, fostering empathy and evolving understanding of resilient grieving. Katrina shares her vision and mission to build grief literacy for a society that's comfortable discussing grief and loss, and how this can help us all find hope.

Welcome to "At A Loss," a podcast series hosted by Timothy Giles, a funeral celebrant dedicated to exploring the profound and often challenging journey of living fully with grief. In this episode, Timothy engages in a heartfelt conversation with Maria Miller, a bereavement support worker, about the complexities of grief and the importance of acknowledging and understanding it. Maria shares her insights from her work at the Grief Centre, where she supports individuals dealing with loss. She emphasizes the significance of making emotional space for grief and maintaining connections with loved ones who have passed. The episode delves into the unpredictable nature of grief, debunking the myth of a linear process and instead describing it as an ocean with waves that come and go. Listeners will find valuable advice on how to support themselves and others through the grieving process. Maria highlights the importance of asking, "What do you need?" as a guiding question for both those grieving and those offering support. This episode offers a compassionate and insightful perspective on navigating grief and finding ways to live an enriched life despite the presence of loss.

What is this lethargy and sadness if no one died? Loss of a job, a dream, a career, a relationship, we grieve all these things. Allowing ourselves to, can make all the difference. Counsellor Maria Millar is back telling our host, funeral celebrant Timothy Giles about understanding feelings of grief for all kinds of loss.  

Therapist Jill Goldson of Family Matters has in an earlier episode, coached us through coping with the losses that come with Covid. Today, she shares more personal and profound struggles. Since the death of her husband Malcolm, have Jill's professional skills as a counsellor, researcher and academic eased her grief? Host TImothy Giles is surprised by the answer.

When Kenzie, Nic Russell’s daughter was 2 she was diagnosed with cancer and died. But there was another challenge, Nic also had a 5 year old son that she needed to support through this journey. In this episode, Nic tells host and funeral celebrant Timothy Giles, how important it is to be honest and open with children about death and of founding Kenzie’s Gift, a research-based support resource especially for children and young people.

Reverend Mua Strickson-Pua has 30 years ministry serving generations in life, and loss.  Host and funeral Celebrant Timothy Giles seeks tips from Rev Mua on surviving and thriving. Sharing more than his ministry, as a  poet, parent and activist the Rev has stories to share.  Emotions arise, anger and tears, ending in a moment of magic. 

When you pregnant partner dies by her own hand, how do you survive, heal and hope to find a future? Mark Wilson has experienced this loss and still achieved a life of meaning and love. Mark tells his friend and former colleague, our host Timothy Giles how to rebuild a life after devastating loss.

Brotherhood is a bond for life. Last episode Aston Wells told of the hurt, harm and how he found health again after the death of his best mate and younger brother Sean. Host and funeral celebrant Timothy Giles knew both boys from childhood to their adult adventures and business success. Aston in telling his story last episode, called out Timothy on his loss of his loved big brother Paul. Challenged our host to be the one in the hot seat, sharing grief and how it feels to be at a loss on the death of someone so close. An intimate chat from season one.

He was as constant as my own shadow. Aston Well’s little brother Sean, was his childhood duty, and became his best-friend.  In adulthood, the boys became business partners. Confidants, and collaborators on a big and beautiful life.  Until the super-fit Sean, died suddenly. Shocking Aston and changing everything. Host and funeral celebrant Timothy Giles knew both boys as they grew up and this is a conversation of harsh loss and how Aston spiralled into despair and re-found hope. A personal conversation from season one.

Romance, commitment. marriage, children and a life together. As the traditional vows say, "to have and to hold, till death do us part." Trish followed this path happily, but the parting came far too soon. This conversation from season one, was one of the first with host and funeral celebrant Timothy Giles. Here Trish describes widowhood and tells Timothy how she navigates life and loss.

Sands is an organisation of parents who have experienced the loss of a baby. From season one, Sara Lane talks with host Timothy Giles of her personal loss and how she supports others. “Every loss, is unique, we understand how devastating it is when your baby dies.” She says "There is no right or wrong way to grieve and that grief cannot be measured or compared. As unique as your baby was so is the way you grieve and the support you need." A moving and ultimately uplifting, conversation.

Refreshing Season 1 listen again to our very first ep with counsellor and  grief specialist. Maria Millar. Maria is an experienced counsellor, sharing insights from her time working for The Grief Centre. Great advice for people supporting those in grief as well as people experiencing grief, fresh or enduring. She has warmth and humour as well as wisdom, with some great self-care insights too. If you have a podcast suggestion or feedback, email our host Funeral Celebrant Timothy Giles [email protected]