Can I Have a Word? | Culture, Identity & the Power of Language

What does it really mean to have faith? Not as something rooted in belief—but as a choice to move forward when nothing is guaranteed.We often think of faith as something that should work out in our favor. But what if it’s not about the outcome at all? What if it’s about moving anyway—and trusting that whatever comes from it, even if it’s simply “I won’t do that again,” still has value. In this season finale, we explore faith as trusting the step in front of you… without needing the outcome to prove it was worth it. This episode is about redefining faith—not as a guarantee, but as a willingness to act without one.If this resonates, follow the show and share it with someone who might need the reminder: you don’t have to know how it ends to take the next step.Production TeamHost/Creator - Carl JamesLead Engineer - Josh WilcoxEditor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie CardenasMusic - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There’s a difference between a bad day… and a period where things aren’t just difficult—they’re unraveling.In this episode, we explore how to recognize when you’re not just having a hard day—but moving through something deeper. What it means to stop minimizing what you feel, and instead be honest about where you are. And how to navigate that space without trying to quickly fix it—by focusing on what’s within your control, honoring your capacity, and taking it one day at a time.There’s no quick way out of unraveling. Only the quiet work of meeting yourself where you are—and starting there.Content note: This episode includes a brief reference to suicidal thoughts as part of a broader conversation about emotional overwhelm. If you or someone you know needs support, you can call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) in the U.S.Production TeamHost/Creator - Carl JamesLead Engineer - Josh WilcoxEditor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie CardenasMusic - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're taught that strength is survival—but what if always being strong is the very thing holding you back? What does it cost to never let yourself fall?In this episode, I am joined by my friend Bomopregha Julius to unpack the word fear—not just as an emotion, but as a lived experience shaped by identity, expectation, and pressure.For many of us—especially those who are first-generation, people of color, or navigating spaces where success feels non-negotiable—fear doesn’t just show up as hesitation. It shows up as silence. As perfectionism. As the inability to admit when things aren’t going well.Together, we explore:- Why fear is often hidden beneath the pressure to succeed  - The weight of expectation across identity and upbringing  - What it means to “fall” — and why perceived failure is often the real teacher  - The tension between self-protection and self-honesty  - Why running toward fear may be the only way to truly understand yourself  This conversation is an invitation—to make space for uncertainty, and to recognize that growth often begins where comfort ends.Because fear isn’t just something to avoid.  It might be pointing you toward the version of yourself you’re afraid to meet and the truth you’ve been trying to outrun.Production TeamHost/Creator - Carl JamesLead Engineer - Josh WilcoxEditor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie CardenasMusic - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“It’s just a preference.”It’s a phrase we hear constantly — in dating, in hiring decisions, and in everyday conversations about who or what we choose. The word preference often sounds neutral, as if our choices simply reflect personal taste.But what if the things we call "personal taste" are actually shaped by the culture around us?In this episode, we explore how preference can feel personal while still carrying the politics of the world that produced it.The conversation moves beyond just attraction to examine how preference operates in workplaces and decision-making environments, where people often gravitate toward what feels familiar, simple, or easily categorized.This episode explores:• The myth of “neutral preference”• How social conditioning shapes attraction and desirability• How preferences influence hiring and professional opportunity• Why people often choose the conventional choice over the “unicorn” candidateThe moment we stop asking where our preferences come from, is the moment they stop feeling so neutral.Production TeamHost/Creator - Carl JamesLead Engineer - Josh WilcoxEditor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie CardenasMusic - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I’m joined by my friend Adam Lucas, a screenwriter who specializes in adaptations, to explore the word imposter — not as a diagnosis, but as a question.Why do so many of us feel like frauds in spaces we’ve earned the right to occupy? Whether pitching creative work to powerful decision-makers or stepping into parenthood for the first time, the doubt can feel immediate and disorienting.Adam reflects on navigating high-stakes creative rooms while still questioning his legitimacy. He also speaks candidly about early parenthood — and the subtle pressure to feel joy instantly, even in the midst of uncertainty and adjustment.But what if the doubt isn’t internal at all?What if it’s environmental?From pitch rooms to parenting, we examine how expectation, masculinity, and cultural conditioning shape our sense of legitimacy — and whether “imposter syndrome” is less about lacking skill and more about navigating other people’s egos, judgments, insecurities, and fears in spaces that quietly question our value.Production TeamHost/Creator - Carl JamesLead Engineer - Josh WilcoxEditor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie CardenasMusic - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Witness" is a continuation of "Reckoning"—but this time, the work moves from accounting to presence.In this episode, I take you to Rwanda, a country forever shaped by the 1994 genocide against the Tutsi. Walking through memorials, listening to survivors’ stories, and sitting with the weight of what happened here demands a different kind of attention—one that cannot rush, explain away, or turn suffering into abstraction.To witness history is not simply to learn it. It is to allow the truth of what happened to stand—without flinching, without turning away, and without placing distance between “then” and “now.”As I try to navigate Rwanda's history with both care and honesty, I’m confronted with the ways I’ve avoided being a full witness to my own story—the parts I’ve minimized, softened, or left unnamed. This episode explores what it means to stay present with truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, and how bearing witness—collectively and personally—becomes an act of responsibility rather than observation.This is not a travelogue.It’s about the moment witnessing history makes avoiding your own impossible.Production TeamHost/Creator - Carl JamesLead Engineer - Josh WilcoxEditor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie CardenasMusic - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I used to believe you could control what parts of yourself were allowed to change. That growth could be selective, strategic, and contained. For most of my life, I knew how to keep things separate and still succeed. But then it stopped working.When you begin to explore yourself - your beliefs, your norms, what you inherited versus what you're choosing - eventually everything becomes fair game. There comes a moment when avoiding parts of yourself is no longer a viable way to live.This is Part 1 of a two-part story - two episodes, two words - tracking what happens when the life you've carefully separated starts demanding to be integrated. The realization that compartmentalization isn't protection - it's postponement. Unfortunately, you rarely get the luxury of feeling "ready" before the walls come down.Sometimes you have to cross borders - literally and figuratively - to learn it's time to settle the accounts within your own life. And in Part 2, a second word takes the story somewhere I didn't expect.Production TeamHost/Creator - Carl JamesLead Engineer - Josh WilcoxEditor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie CardenasMusic - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What parts of yourself have you learned to keep quiet in order to belong?Who is really allowed to speak freely in our workplaces and relationships?How much of your life is shaped by what you DON’T say?In this episode, I am joined by author, speaker, and organizational consultant Elaine Lin Hering to explore the word silence not as a lack of sound, but as a social force—one that shapes power, belonging, and whose voices are allowed to matter.Elaine is the author of "Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully", a groundbreaking book that examines how silence is taught, rewarded, and enforced in families, workplaces, and culture—and how it often protects systems more than people. Together, we unpack how silence shows up in professional spaces, in relationships, and in our own inner lives, especially for those whose identities make speaking up more costly.This conversation moves beyond encouragements to “just speak up,” and instead asks harder questions: Who is being asked to take the risk? Who is being heard? And what does it really take to create cultures where voice is safe, welcomed, and valued?Show Notes & ResourcesThis episode includes references to Elaine’s writing as well as the work of other researchers. In the section below, you’ll find links to Elaine’s book "Unlearning Silence" and other resources discussed in the episode.Articles Referenced:https://hbr.org/2024/06/how-to-get-your-team-to-actually-speak-uphttps://www.yourpowerunleashed.org/blog/2023/5/21/womens-use-of-low-power-language-at-work-is-not-diminishing-but-very-strategicBuy the book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/720975/unlearning-silence-by-elaine-lin-hering/Get free monthly tips on how to solve for silence: https://hello.elainelinhering.com/newsletter Production TeamHost/Creator - Carl JamesLead Engineer - Josh WilcoxEditor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie CardenasMusic - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do we mean when we talk about currency—and who gets to decide what holds value?In this episode of "Can I Have a Word?", I explore how currency extends far beyond money. From desirability and youth, to social access and belonging, this conversation examines how value is assigned, circulated, and sometimes quietly withdrawn—especially within queer spaces and broader social systems.This is the shorter audio version of the episode. If you’re interested in spending more time with these ideas, the full, expanded conversation—with additional reflection and context—is available on YouTube.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Editor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Discipline is often understood as something rigid—tight control, strict routines, or the ability to push through discomfort at all costs. But that version of discipline doesn’t work for everyone, and it rarely lasts.In this episode, we explore discipline as a practice rather than a test of toughness. When discipline is intentionally designed around your own standards, needs, and capacities, it becomes sustainable—and surprisingly freeing.Clear intention creates focus. Focus creates momentum. And over time, that consistency can open a path toward purpose, rather than pulling you away from it. This episode reflects on how discipline, when grounded in alignment instead of rigidity, can help us move with clarity toward what actually matters.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Editor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does it mean to feel safe when the world keeps proving how quickly certainty can collapse? In this episode, I explore how our relationship to safety changes the moment violence feels close—geographically, emotionally, or personally. A recent mass shooting at the headquarters of my former employer forced me to confront how fragile the familiar can be, and how often we mistake comfort or institutional prestige for real protection.Through personal reflection, I examine how safety shows up differently across identities, workplaces, and communities—and who is expected to stay composed even when danger is no longer hypothetical. This conversation sits inside the tension between fear and honesty, challenging the stories we cling to in order to feel secure.Ultimately, I offer a reimagined definition:Safe is more than protection—it’s the presence of trust that anchors us in uncertainty.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Editor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I’m joined by my friend and returning guest Ty McKinnie, a singer-songwriter whose honesty and introspection make every conversation feel grounded. Our word is "Becoming" — a lifelong unfolding, the continuous evolution toward your most authentic self, refined by experience but never complete.Together, we explore what it really takes to grow:- Letting go of who you were- Navigating tension, doubt, and self-trust- Allowing creativity to shape your identity- Finding support through your evolution- Treating "becoming" as both surrender and intentional practiceThis is an honest conversation between friends — unfiltered, thoughtful, and rooted in the ongoing process of becoming ourselves. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to "Can I Have a Word?" — and welcome to Season 2! We’re starting with a word that’s being stretched, questioned, reclaimed, and redefined: masculinity.In this episode, we explore masculinity as a living language — not a fixed identity or checklist of behaviors, but a space shaped by culture, history, and personal truth. We look at how masculinity is inherited, where it harms, where it heals, and how more men are learning to lead with presence, emotional honesty, and self‑definition instead of performance. This isn’t about prescribing a new model of manhood — it’s about listening, unlearning, and expanding the ways we understand strength and control. In this redefinition, vulnerability and power equally coexist.✨ If this resonates, like, share, and subscribe — and join the conversation.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Editor - Walter NordquistLogo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does it mean to build a relationship with a place you’ve never lived—but that somehow still lives in you?With a nod to exploring the roots of our identity, we examine the notion of "home" through the lens of memory, migration, and meaning. For many first-generation Americans, and particularly for Black Americans navigating the legacy of forced displacement, home is not always a fixed location. It can be a country your parents left behind, a village you’ve only seen in photos, or a continent you feel connected to in spirit but not necessarily in experience.In this final episode of the season, we dive into the emotional and cultural work of cultivating an intentional relationship with ancestral homelands—especially when that relationship feels distant, unfamiliar, or incomplete. What customs can you adopt? What stories can you reclaim? And how do you navigate the tension between longing and belonging?This episode invites listeners to reflect on the ways we build home—not just in geography, but in practice, memory, and spirit.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Mix Engineer/Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does it really take to chase our dreams? In this episode, we unpack ambition— not just as a goal or drive, but as a mirror. To move forward, we must first get honest about what's holding us back. Join us for a raw, reflective (and at times humorous) conversation on how our mental and emotional health directly shape our ability to pursue our highest goals. Because ambition isn't just about striving — it's about healing, too.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Mix Engineer/Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do you do when the story you’ve always told yourself…isn’t true anymore? What if that familiar, comforting narrative needs to be refined to reflect your age, growth, or maturity? How do we begin to let go of the assumptions that once shaped and protected us to reflect the person we are today? In this episode, we examine the origin and power of the biases rooted in our past and how they might be holding us back in our present.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Mix Engineer/Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Anxiety is one of the most common - and most hidden - experiences in our world today. Unfortunately it often exists behind polished exteriors and unexplored stereotypes. This episode explores what it means to live with anxiety and still show up fully in life, work, and relationships. There is power in giving language to our internal struggles IF we're willing to sit with vulnerability. Whether you've experienced anxiety yourself or want to better support someone who has, this conversation offers space, insight, and solidarity.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Mix Engineer/Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Forgiveness" isn't just a feel-good buzzword—it's a deeply personal and sometimes painful journey. With that in mind, we’re diving into the complicated and often contradictory world of forgiveness. It’s a word we throw around easily, but the process? Not so much. In this episode, we explore what it really means to forgive, how accountability plays a key role in healing, and why it’s so much harder to forgive when the hurt doesn’t stop.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Mix Engineer/Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we delve into the quiet power of introversion. While the world often celebrates loud voices and fast decisions, introverts bring a unique perspective to the forefront shaped by internal focus, deep analysis, and a calm presence. Join us as we examine how a “quiet” lens can illuminate innovative ideas, why stillness is a strength, and how introverted minds quietly shape the world around us.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Mix Engineer/Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The desire for a loving, committed relationship is something many if not most of us have been taught to aspire to and work toward. But to what end and at what cost? How do you maintain the balance between aspirational hopes for companionship and navigating your own self-discovery and personal evolution? In this episode, we examine the expectations we place on relationships and how the weight of those expectations may cause us to lose sight of what matters most of all. Ultimately, it’s not about choosing love or self-growth – it’s recognizing that the strongest relationships are built on a solid foundation of self. Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Mix Engineer/Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

America's history has been shaped by countless movements that have attempted to guarantee full inclusion for all Americans regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation. The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT+) community was born out of a necessity to ensure their own survival and defend their right to live with the dignity and rights afforded to others. And yet, despite decades of marginalization, subjugation, and threats of erasure (which continue even today), the LGBT+ community has always managed to survive and grow stronger. Our guest this week is someone who knows first-hand how real these threats of erasure can be. As an active participant in the Stonewall Uprising in New York City on June 28th 1969, Mark Segal was a part of a landmark event that became the catalyst for a shape-shifting movement. In this candid discussion, Mark shares his journey as a lifelong activist and the importance of being visible at all costs.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Mix Engineer/Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all have insecurities but some of us may not be aware of them or how deep they actually run. And while it’s important to acknowledge our insecurities, we should work to overcome them in a way that doesn’t unfairly impact other people. So, what do you do if you are made to feel less than simply because of something you can’t consciously control? In this short episode, we explore the importance of calling out behavior that is rooted in insecurity and fear while standing up for our right to exist without judgment.Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Many of us have a conceptual idea of how "success" can be defined - financial independence, wealth, starting a family, career achievements, even having millions of fans on social media. Any of these markers can be indicative of success but should the criterion for success change as we age, learn more, and yes, achieve more? How does our framework of success evolve as we get older and what other attributes should we think about beyond the traditional elements that we already know of and aspire to? On this episode, we chat with career attorney and community advocate Peter Koffler, as we try to create a more expansive definition of success that goes beyond our own self-interests. Production Team Host/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this inaugural episode of “Can I Have a Word?”, we explore how this podcast came to be and why the intersection of language and identity should matter to all of us. We also get to learn a bit more about our host, Carl James, and examine why compliments aren’t always as complimentary as they might seem. Production TeamHost/Creator - Carl James Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox Technical Producer - Adam Goins Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas Music - Yennaedo Balloo Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This trailer offers a sneak peak into the brand-new podcast, “Can I Have a Word?”The “Can I Have a Word?” podcast explores the complex intersection between language and self-identity. Through a nuanced exploration of the words we use, this podcast examines how words inform who we are and how we subsequently navigate through the world as a result. By understanding our individual relationship to language, we will gain more insight into the depths of the human experience and simultaneously create more opportunities to better understand one another.Join me for thought-provoking and insightful conversations around language and identity! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.