Conversations About...

Courtney has a conversation with Dr. Steve Argue, a leading expert on emerging adults, and professor at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California. They're talking about big transition in life, and navigating change well!   Steve Argue Fuller Youth Institute Youth & Young Adult Discussion Guides 

Kendra speaks with Jen Pollock Michel about the role of desire in life and faith, about moving towards connection, and how we sometimes get stuck. Jen is an author and speaker; you can find more of her work here: https://www.jenpollockmichel.com/about

A conversation about AI chatbots being used for emotional and mental support, and how to faithfully navigating a quickly shifting technological landscape.   ResourcesRisks & Benefits of chat bots as a therapist What is a large language model? Stereotypes in chatbots Stanford study on AI "therapists" 

Talk of social media is everywhere these days - what do we know about how it impacts our minds and our offline lives? Sam and Kendra dive into the science in a conversation meant to get you thinking about how you use your digital spaces and the science behind why it's so captivating.Sources:Anxious Generation (2024)Andrew Huberman PodcastLoneliness Epidemic – U.S. Surgeon General

Therapists Dr. James Hawkins and Nicola Hawkins talk about developing a healthy view of emotions, based on a Biblical understanding of how God created us. They share about finding harmony between emotion and logic, and how this transforms not only us, but our relationships and communities.Learn more about Doc Hawk Dr. Hawkins' Chapel Message 

A conversation about navigating the realities and impact of culture stress - a form of chronic stress that impacts all college students, regardless of where they are from. This conversation with Seth Sears, the Associate Director of the Global Engagement Office at John Brown University, dives into symptoms of stress and ways to build the resilience that allows us to be formed in positive ways by difficult circumstances.Discussion Questions:How have you seen chronic stress impacting your own life?What resources are available to you that could help you navigate a stressful season?How is culture stress impacting you, regardless of where you are from?

Students Ella and Jake share about their experience making friends and finding community in college. Hear their wisdom and advice gained through their own unique struggles & joys with creating friendships!

A conversation about healthy relationships in the midst of political disagreement. Dr. Dan Bennett talks about how we can lean into communities with attitudes of charitable disagreement and faithful unity. The world can feel politically polarized and divisive, so how what does it look like to pursue peace and unity while staying engaged?Resources Dr. Bennett’s books: Uneasy Citizenship: Embracing the Tension in Faith and Politics Defending Faith: The Politics of the Christian Conservative Legal Movement Dr. Bennett's Substack  Discussion Questions What does it mean to “hold your politic views appropriately”? What does it mean to “be consistent in your political values”? How might you engage in charitable disagreement within your community? 

Starting college can be a crazy & overwhelming time! This quick conversation is meant to encourage everyone jumping in to this new experience - how might you be able to be courageous as you find your people and place?Visit https://chr.jbu.edu/ for more resources!

A quick overview of the CHR resources available to students at JBU. This podcast is a show for anyone, anywhere - we are excited to speak about relationship issues relevant to college students & young adults. This quick conversation speaks to other in-person resources available specifically to students on the John Brown University campus.

Regardless of your current relationship status, this is a conversation for you! Understanding what consent really means and how boundaries can lead to healthier relationships is important at every stage of life. Kendra and Courtney talk definitions, examples, and the Christian call to consider consent.ResourcesUnderstanding Consent, RAINN Arkansas Consent Laws Red Flags Episode  National Domestic Violence Hotline 'She Deserves Better' by Sheila Wray Gregoire 

A conversation with college seniors, Elizabeth and Daniela, about cultivating intercultural friendships. Hear about their experiences getting to know the cultural contexts of their friends, learning to have humility in friendship, and understanding how to make others feel seen and loved.We are excited to now be a part of the Real FM podcast network! Click here for more information or to check out the other podcasts in the network: https://real.fm/

Kendra and Amy talk through an overview of ‘purity culture’ and how concepts of sex, intimacy and purity have become twisted into harmful messages, and how we can start to reclaim a vision of faithful & mature sexuality. Resources:5 Myths of Purity Culture 'Recovering From Purity Culture' by Dr. Camden Morgante 'She Deserves Better' by Sheila Wray Gregoire 'Talking Back to Purity Culture' by Rachel Joy Welcher 'Non-Toxic Masculinity' by Zachary Wagner  

Kendra talks with Dr. Jennifer Powell McNutt talks through her book ‘The Mary We Forgot’ which dives into reclaiming the story of Mary Magdalene and the impact this can have on our faith and understanding of Scripture.Jennifer's Substack'The Mary We Forgot'

A conversation with college freshmen, Evan Ross, Colin, and Caleb, about developing new friendships in a new environment. Hear about their experiences coming to college, navigating roommate relationships, and making the choice to invest in deep friendships. Evan is a nursing major, Ross is a mechanical engineering major, Colin is a biochemistry major, and Caleb is an electrical engineering major. They are all freshmen at John Brown University.

A conversation with Megan Farmer, LAMFT, about balancing work and personal life, living out a holistic identity, and having reasonable expectations for yourself in new seasons of life.Megan is a marriage and family therapist at Fellowship's Counseling and Care center in Rogers, AR, and the Coordinator of Marriage Resources at the CHR.

A conversation with collegiate soccer players, Lilli Johnson and Grace Bishop, about building relationships with teammates. Hear about their experiences navigating contentment with their roles within teams, being an effective encourager, and using team conflict as a tool for growth.Lilli is a Junior kinesiology and family and human services major and Grace is a Senior elementary education major at John Brown University.

A conversation with guest speaker Val Lieske, speaking about the value of friendship, finding identity, and pursuing calling.Val is the artistic managing director of a theater company, as well as a playwright, educator and Chaplain to the arts community.

A conversation with Dr. Jake Stratman about leadership amongst peers, recovering from people pleasing and knowing who God says we are. Dr. Stratman is the Dean of the College of Humanities at John Brown University.

A conversation with Kylie Cleverdon about navigating sibling relationships after moving away for college. Hear about her experience with staying connected, finding commonality, and opening the door to deeper sibling relationships. Kylie is a Sophomore education major at John Brown University.

A roundtable conversation about how the Enneagram (or other personality assessments) can help us connect more deeply with ourselves and others. Hear an overview of this tool and how it works - then join our conversation with three 9's and a 5! Further resources: The Enneagram Institute (Learn more about this tool for understanding personality) The Road Back to You (A book about ‘An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery) Sleeping at Last, Atlas: Enneagram (Songs to represent each number) Sleeping at Last Podcast Episodes CHR Resources

A conversation with Sam Snook about mentoring relationships. Hear about his experience sustaining mentorship and the importance these connections have had in his life! Sam is a Senior construction management major at John Brown University. For more resources visit https://chr.jbu.edu/resources

A conversation with Zipporah Jones about sustaining friendship from childhood throughout college. Hear about her experience with her bestie, navigating change, conflict & commitment. Zipporah is a Senior Family & Human Services major at John Brown University. For more resources visit https://chr.jbu.edu/on-campus

The holidays can be full of cheer, and sometimes a bit of stress! Join this conversation about how to navigate going home from college on break. Questions to ask yourself/your family: - What are my (or your) expectations for this time together? - What are some needs I have? (communicating my perspectives, getting plenty of rest, having fun, etc.) - How can I show up in a loving and listening way in this brief time we have together?

A conversation with international students Lila & Robin, who share about what they've learned about friendship, adjusting to new culture and dealing with homesickness. As seniors, they have experienced a lot and have wisdom to share - if you're also an international student they have advice for you, and if you're an American student their perspectives can help you better understand & connect with friends from around the world!

Friendships with the opposite gender, relationships for a season, friendships of "convenience" ... these all impact our lives and are important for healthy community! Types of friendship: Friendship of convenience Friend for a season Male-Female friendship Long distance friendship Life-long friends Discussion Questions: What is the value in having different kinds of friendships?  Why invest in friendships that are not going to be lifelong?  What if I thought a friendship was going to be lifelong and it turned out to just be for a season? How do I process or grieve that?  Can men and women really be “just friends”? Should they?  How do you balance long-distance friends and friends who you are with in person?  How do you cultivate lifelong friendships?   Further Resources https://chr.jbu.edu/on-campus The Benefits of Friendship in Academic Settings  'On Long Distance' by Megan Sherer 

Kendra talks with Sarah Cordle, a Resident Director at JBU about roommate relationships. They talk through what makes a successful roommate experience, and why navigating through these unique relationships is such an important part of the development that happens in college! Connect with the CHR  Discussion Questions  What are some expectations you have had coming into this roommate experience?  What boundaries are you already aware of when it comes to sharing a space with a roommate? How might you be able to communicate those to your roommate?  How are you being mindful of being a good roommate?  What are you most excited about and most nervous about with your roommate relationship?  Do you agree that the roommate relationship could be an important part of the holistic development of college?  

A roundtable discussion about healthy dating with four of the CHR team! Join our conversation about the nuances, questions and perspectives surrounding dating and romantic relationships. Discussion Questions: What is dating? How do you define it? What is it and what is it not in your perspective? How do you think about commitment in a dating relationship? How do you balance being committed to the relationship while also leaving room to break up if that is the healthiest thing to do? What are the factors that influence a healthy dating relationship? What are your "deal breakers"? How do you find the balance between having grace for an imperfect person and maintaining high standards? How do you think about emotional intimacy in the context of a dating relationship? Is there a perfect timeline to follow? What is your relationship built on top of? https://chr.jbu.edu/on-campus

Relational and social growth are key to holistic development in college, and having a growth mindset allows you to lean in to new challenges. Kendra and Courtney talk through how expectations shape the way we show up to an experience and how to face the challenges of getting connected head on. Connect with CHR and find more resources  Article: Fostering College Student Mental Health and Resilience    Discussion questions  What are some expectations about finding community that you have (had) coming into college?  How do your expectations about making friends shape the way you enter into that process?  In what ways do you think you could develop more of a growth mindset in terms of facing challenges of holistic development during college?  What are a few areas of support that you could lean into as you establish community? 

Kendra and Kristin talk about how the way we engage in conflict can determine the health of our relationships. Hear about default conflict styles, relational safety and tips for finding resolutions! Discussion Questions for reflection: How has one of your relationships been made stronger by navigating through conflict?  Which conflict style do you think suits you the most? What does this tell you about the ways you typically engage in conflict?  Have you seen conflict as an opportunity to move towards stronger relationships, or as something that hinders connection?  What’s one step you could take in your next relational conflict that would allow for a stronger outcome?  How could you look for the markers of safety within your relationships when thinking about how to navigate conflict?  Further Resources: 7 Steps for Collaborative Conflict Resolution, Worksheet  ⁠https://chr.jbu.edu/resources⁠  Gottman Institute blog about conflict:  ⁠https://www.gottman.com/blog/conflict-normal-natural-part-happily-ever/⁠   Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles assessment:  ⁠https://www.mtdtraining.com/blog/thomas-kilmann-conflict-management-model.htm⁠  Gottman’s on Unlocking Us with Brene Brown: ⁠https://brenebrown.com/podcast/the-love-prescription-part-1-of-3/⁠  Four Horsemen Article: ⁠https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/⁠ 

Kendra talks with her Dad about the relationship between emerging adults and their parents. Particularly as kids go off to college, how can both show grace to each other and navigate this season of change.  Find more resources & get connected here! 

Kendra talks with Amy Smithwick and Norlee Flaaten about how to make big decisions. Amy focuses on making decisions as a single young adult, and Norlee talks about how married couples can make decisions together. Find more resources & get connected here!  Discussion Questions: 1. How have you made big decisions in the past? 2. Do you tend to trust your "gut" or your logic more naturally? 3. Have you felt isolated in making decisions? Who has been helpful for your process? 4. How does your spouse influence your decisions and how do you both make sure your voices are heard? 5. Who would be someone (other than your spouse) who might be beneficial for you to process with?

Kendra interviews Kristin about her research on married college students, Kristin's personal experience, and why it matters to have this conversation, whether you are married or not!   Discussion Questions with your friends: 1. What word or phrase comes up for you when you think about being married in college? 2. Why if at all do you think this is an important conversation both for students who are married, and who are not? 3. What stands out to you most about the needs assessment themes Kristin discussed? Why do you think that stood out to you? 4. What positives can you think of related to being married in college? 5. What could you do to support your friends who are married? What could you do to support your friends who are not married? 6. How can you seek to understand your neighbor first before seeking to be understood? 7. What does it look like to be a catalyst for change in your own community regarding this conversation? ⁠Get involved in Married Student Life @ JBU!⁠  ⁠More resources and quotes from Kristin's research⁠ 

Forgiveness is a critical part of relationships, and understanding what it is – and what it’s not – helps us find freedom. Rosemary shares about what she’s learned about forgiveness through her own life and what Scripture says about how it can transform us and our relationships. Further Resources Rosemary's Chapel Message (From February 8, 2024)  https://chr.jbu.edu/contact

What is psychological safety, why does it matter, and how can leaders intentionally pursue it for the benefit of their teams? Kendra talks with Cameron Spencer about the answers to these questions. Further Resources Simon Sinek Ted Talk - "How great leaders inspire action"  The Other Half of Church  Adam Grant's Podcast - ReThinking    How leaders can promote psychological safety within their team:  Set the vision. Why are we here?   Make the ground rules. What are the guidelines for engagement?  Pre-validate. Let them know their voice matters. Model humanness. People need to know they can make mistakes.  Be intentional for input.  Be humble in your responses.  Follow up. 

Kristin interviews John Brown University's Director of Worship Arts & Pastoral Care to hear his story and have a conversation about what worship is and how worship allows us to press into healthy relationships, how worship impacts our communities, and what it means to be a pastoral presence in our relationships even as people that are not professional pastors.   Be sure to check out all our resources below and leave a 5-star review if you like what you're hearing! For further resources on this topic check out: Pastoral Counseling - James Dittes Wounded Healer - Henri Nouwen The Pastor - Eugene Peterson Unceasing Worship - Harold Best A Body of Praise - David Taylor The Liturgy of the Ordinary - Tish Harrison Warren   Discussion questions for reflection with your friends: What comes to mind when you think of worship, especially in the context of the definition Connor gave us? Do you think we need community, why or why not? If you have a relationship with Christ, how if at all, have you seen that impact your relationships? How if at all does worship draw us closer to the people we are in community with?  In light of this conversation what is a way you can seek to be more intentional and present with the people you are around?

Rosemary Flaaten interviews Dr. Sandra Glahn about her work as a Biblical scholar and her background. Dr. Glahn was a guest speaker for International Women's Day in March 2024, and this interview was part of the 'Where I Come From' luncheon series on the JBU campus.

Kendra talks with Dr. Glahn about the book 'Vindicating the Vixens', which examines the stories of prominent women of the Bible who have been sexualized, vilified and marginalized. How does misinterpreting these stories jeopardize our view of God and of one another? Dr. Glahn is a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary, as well as a journalist and author, coauthor or editor of more than 20 books. Join us for this insightful conversation! Resources: Explore the visual museum of women in Christianity 'Vindicating the Vixens'  Dr. Sandra Glahn's Website  Women in the World of the Earliest Christians  https://chr.jbu.edu/resources

Kendra and Isabel Wolfe talk about their experience growing up internationally & share some fundamental concepts to understand different cultural perspectives. They talk about navigating culture stress and why it's worth it to lean in. Additional Resources: People are always the biggest resource! "Effective Intercultural Communication" is the book used in the Intercultural Communications course: https://bakerbookhouse.com/products/40375 Some interesting Ted Talks on this topics: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLenhmNbAT2DRkKlTt806SZtQF8QYAJJOU https://chr.jbu.edu/resources

Whether you love the Barbie movie or not so much...it brings up important questions about relationships, emotions and connection. Kristin & Kendra share some thoughts about what we can take away from this film. Discussion Questions:  What do you think this movie says about relationships? Between same gender? Opposite gender?  How does this movie pose questions about purpose and identity formation? How you think Christians can respond to these questions?  What do you think this movie portrays about men & women? Do you think this is accurate?  What are you thoughts on how the movie ends? Would you imagine anything different?  Sources Interview with Greta Gerwig:  https://screenrant.com/barbie-movie-old-woman-bench-scene-meaning-greta-gerwig/  “Indifference is not a beginning, it is an end. And, therefore, indifference is always the friend of the enemy, for it benefits the aggressor—never his victim, whose pain is magnified when he or she feels forgotten. The political prisoner in his cell, the hungry children, the homeless refugees—not to respond to their plight, not to relieve their solitude by offering them a spark of hope is to exile them from human memory. And in denying their humanity we betray our own.”  -Ellie Wiesel 

Kendra and Courtney talk about 6 top red flags to be aware of in relationships + how to identify manipulation. Red Flags  They argue with or push back on boundaries that you have set.  You feel nervous or uncomfortable when they are angry.  You spend less and less time with your friends – becoming isolated.  They have poorly managed jealousy.  Your friends or loved ones don’t want to be around them – you want to keep the relationship secretive.  They often criticize you – you experience lower self-esteem in this relationship.  Resources https://chr.jbu.edu/resources Article about Gas Light, the play: https://www.seattletimes.com/entertainment/theater/how-a-play-inspired-the-term-gaslighting/  VeryWell Mind, Red Flags: https://www.verywellmind.com/10-red-flags-in-relationships-5194592

Kendra McIlvain Vasquez and Kristin George talk about how to engage in the process of friendship formation, and why it's worth it even when it's hard. For further resources on this topic check out: Made for People, by Justin Whitmel Earley Find Your People, by Jennie Allen Making Friends as Adults; on No Stupid Questions ⁠https://freakonomics.com/podcast/is-it-harder-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-replay/⁠ How many hours does it take to make a friend? by Jeffrey A. Hall, University of Kansas ⁠https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0265407518761225#:~:text=Casual%20friendships%20emerge%20around%2030,300%20hr%20of%20time%20spent⁠ Discussion Questions: What has your journey of friendship formation been like during college?  How have you seen friendships add value to your life?  What are some barriers to friendship that you have come up against? Internal barriers (like anxiety, insecurity, etc.) or external barriers (like scheduling conflicts, not meeting many new people, etc.)  Are there ways you can be more intentional about investing in friendships over the next few months?  Who is someone you would specifically like to invest more time in?   What qualities in a friend are especially important to you? How might you display those qualities and be a good friend to others?   https://chr.jbu.edu/

Welcome to Conversations About...the CHR Podcast! Rosemary Flaaten and Kendra McIlvain Vasquez talk about what the Center for Healthy Relationships is and the vision for this podcast! We are so excited to invite you into conversations about what impacts our relationships and how we can continue learning and growing. This podcast is designed to bring you relevant resources and encourage your own conversations with your people! https://chr.jbu.edu/